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Vi's life has become a mess since that night, shit it has always been a mess, everything changing all the time. Losing people all the time, losing things, losing herself. But earning too — she wants to think —
Who cares about that, child? What's important it's what remains, those who chose to stay.
Some had someone else chose for them. Vi thinks, Vander, Mylo, Claggor, her parents — Benzo, Little Man, they all had Silco and Powder choose for them. Where is the fairness in that?
There's none, that's a lie, fair doesn't exist in this world.
Vi scoffs and Ran looks at her, she can almost feel the raised eyebrow behind the mask the woman is wearing. She is not the only one that has noticed Vi's habit of 'talking to herself'. Jinx's is more noticeable though, even taking away the eyes on Vi when she comes into the room.
Sometimes I wonder if she does it on purpose.
Does it matter?
Vi shrugs and just looks away, Ran thinking is directed at her.
She still loves us —
When Silco isn't around — and she doesn't have a new project — and she isn't on a job — or exploding things — or —
I get it, shut up.
Vi's shoulder's hunch, a scowl appearing on her face, the wolf mask she stole from the Firelights was a neat toy. It changes slightly depending on the face she is making behind. So when she frowns the eyebrows on the mask do too, she loves doing that in front of the enforcers, it makes them shit themselves, even take a few steps back giving her precious seconds to knock them out.
She and Ran slide down a pipe until they reach the alley. Ran takes a finger to her lips as if Vi didn't know how to stay silent.
It's the only thing we have known how to do well the last few years, be good girls, listen to Silco, listen to Jinx.
It doesn't show, you never shut up. The bite in Vi's mental voice hurt the voice, she can feel it, but the voice doesn't shut up.
Blue.
What?
I saw Blue, right there behind the building, crossing the street. No, not behind — on top?
Vi looks at the building, getting her gauntlets from her hip and putting them on, the time was getting short. She turns in a flash, punching the wall to her left.
"What the hell, Vi!"
"Time to go mofos! We have company."
The moment the wall comes down is like a portal has been open, inside people are screaming, for help, to shut up, to put all the money in the bag. The bank robbers turn in Vis'direction, one of them opens her arms exasperated.
"We still had three more minutes to go!"
"Time's over, move it!" Vi says and then she raises her hand, a ping bouncing of the gauntlet followed by a clink on the floor.
"You heard her people. Move it!" Ran pulls one of them from the neck of the shirt, then looks at Vi as if saying, deal with it. She has never given Vi an order out loud, she is either too scared or things they have come to a mutual respect agreement. Vi didn't give a damn, most of her non-orders are straightforward and stupid anyway. Of course, she knew what to do here, it had been her job even back when it was only Mylo, Claggor, and her.
Punch our way out, punch our way in, buy time for the others to do their shit.
Vi smirks, happy that she and the voice finally agree on something.
Two more pings echo in the alley as Vi raises her fist and someone from the heist crew shouts.
"Fuck!"
Once they are out of view Vi gets herself up on the roof. "Is that all you got, Cupcake? I thought you were the best shooter in the force!"
You suck at staying silent, too.
Only when I want to.
Another ping, this one bouncing off a pipe, she is lucky that only seconds ago her shoulder had been there.
Vi rolls on the landing, running and then sliding down another series of pipes before jumping off and sliding down a triangular skylight that leads her to a busy street.
Smart, kid, she won't be shooting at us with people on the way.
Vi scowls, pushing people carefully out of the way, that hadn't been her intention she just —
You just what? We know this route like the palm of our hand. Why come this way then?
Shut up.
The sound is gone, another perk of the wolf mask, though this one is Jinx's doing. Sound overload gets Vi anxious, erratic, Violent, violent in a way Jinx and Silco don’t like. So once she is on her own and doesn't need to talk with anyone she shuts everything off. Just focusing on the next jump, the next punch, the next corner to turn into.
Her feet take her to the bathysphere and even though sometimes she has gotten herself inside to lose whoever is chasing her, she doesn't want to lose this one, not this time.
She jumps down, vaulting over a railing and inside a wooden balcony where she slows down until coming to a stop. She removes her mask, panting but wearing a big goofy smile on her face. A few minutes later, she hears the familiar grunts of the woman that was gunning for her, none metaphorically.
"Congrats, Cupcake, this time it took you less time to catch up." Vi takes off the mask, her pupils shrinking from the sudden increase of light against them but she doesn't even wince. The ache is welcomed, it distracts her from the other pains she cant get rid of. This one is temporary, a respite —
Masochist.
Bite me.
Sometimes I wish I could.
"You really do, do you?" Vi laughs, turning to face the newcomer.
A woman with blue hair and an enforcer's uniform looks at her with a raised eyebrow, unamused. "I'm gonna go on a stretch and say that last part wasn't meant for me. What do you have?"
For you, Cupcake, the world.
Focus, we don't have much time —
That's easier said than done, Vi has used all her mental energy for the day. Thankfully the balcony they are in is silent, but it won't be that way for long.
Someone is cooking, a luxury in the undercity most of the time, not so much for people that can afford to pay a room this close to the surface though. Vi feels something itching under her skin, she is being feeling fidgety lately, when coming up here, the feeling disappearing as she gets lower and lower into the lanes.
We are full-fledged sumprats now, kid, we don't do well on the surface. Now answer Blue before she gets angry at us.
Vi is looking down at the wooden floor, digging in the tip of her boot. She hums back at the voice and then looks at the wolf mask in her hand. Haven't they always been sumprats though? She used to be able to come up here and feel — free, she loved the clean air, the smell of pastries from the main streets — her mom's hair waving in the wind —
Stop!
Her mother’s hair was blue, blue like the sky on Piltover, blue like her sister's hair, like the explosion that killed her brothers, like her gauntlets, there were so many shades of blue in her life.
And every single one of them has hurt us in some way, stop chasing the rabbit!
That's not true, there is a shade of blue that hasn't hurt them —
Yet, this woman can hurt us even worse than the others, this woman has our heart in her hands and could squeeze it at any moment.
"Our heart was broken a long time ago, dummy."
"Vi?"
It was Powder, no Jinx, no — Silco — fuck, it was them. The shades of blue broke our heart, but as broken as it is, it's still there and this woman is going to finish the job!
Vi frowns, her leg starting to jump up and down, her left-hand opening and closing. A low keening whine starts to come out of her throat until it morphs into mumbling.
"Shut up — not true — she wouldn't — we wouldn't — I — shut up, shut up, shut up." Vi feels something pulling her chin and suddenly another shade of blue is in front of her, Caitlyn's eyes are blue. Aren't Vi's eyes blue too? That shade of blue hadn't hurt them either, she wouldn't hurt herself — would she?
Weren't you the one who gave it away? Our heart.
"Vi —" Caitlyn pats Vi's cheek, moving her other arm to her shoulder and slowly moving it down until she takes off one of her gauntlets to grab her hand. "Violet, where are you, sweetheart? Who are you with?"
Where? I'm — Vi looks to her right, then her left, only moving her eyes. She doesn't want Caitlyn's hand to stop touching her cheek.
She is the same blue, the same painful shade of blue!
Vi shudders, now needing to shake her head and she looks pleadingly at Cait, Powder's pleading voice from that night coming back to haunt her. Make them go away, tell them to shut up.
"Violet," Caitlyn says again, gentle, lovingly patting her cheek and squeezing her hand. "Where are you?"
Vi frowns, shaking her head, the words trapped in her throat and begging to be let out.
Nowhere, everywhere —
Hell
Home, I want to go home.
We don't have a home, the shades took it away.
"Shut up!" Vi shouts, burying her face on Caitlyn's neck, the other gauntlet falls to the floor and now both her arms fly to cling to Caitlyn. Hugging her with such desperation that anyone would think Vi is trying to keep herself afloat.
"It’s ok, Vi, it's ok, I'm here. Wherever you are it’s not real, come back here — follow my voice, don't chase the rabbit."
Vi takes a deep breath. Where is she? Where is home? Who was home? A flash of blue light behind her closed eyes makes her feel terrified and she jumps, meeting with Cait's eyes once more. This blue feels different, warm, familiar, she feels good. Like having a full belly after a hard day, wrapped in a blanket, and having something hot to drink. Like a hug, like her mother's food, like Vander's praise, like Mylo's and Clagor's pats on the back — like Powder's laugh at night —
This is home.
"I'm home — I'm home," Vi says looking at Caitlyn with so much relief before burying her face on her neck. "Please don't go."
Don't be like the other shades —.
"Yeah, welcome home sweetheart, good to have you back," Cait says, sliding them both to the floor and hugging her just as fiercely.
Not all shades of blue are bad, Vi hopes.