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Peter walked into his apartment after school to see Wade lounging on the couch. Fuck.
“You’re home early!” Peter laughed, a nervous tinge to his voice as he pulled his hood tighter around his face.
“Hey, Petey! Thought I’d surprise my baby boy,” Wade said with a grin, pulling off his mask. Peter sighed at the line of blood splattered across his cheek. Oh, did he love him. Suddenly, Wade’s grin turned into a serious frown, and Peter’s heart dropped. Wade moved to caress his face, and when Peter winced at the fingers touching his black eye, Wade growled.
“Shit,” Peter mumbled under his breath.
“Shit is right,” Wade whispered, concern and anger evident in his voice.
“I was fighting,” Peter said, though it sounded more like a question.
“Bullshit, Peter! You just got home from school! Who did this to you?” Wade rushed out, worry the prominent emotion on his face.
“Nothing, it’s nothing. Just some guys at school who think they’re all badass decide to beat up the nerd. That’s all,” Peter dismissed with a wave of his hand.
“Petey,” Wade sighed as he led them to the couch, “you could kill them in less than a second if you wanted to. You’re fucking Spidey for crying out loud! Why did you let them do this to you?”
“If I suddenly beat the shit out of them, not only is it suspicious, but I get in trouble at school and I don’t want anything as trivial as that affecting my grades,” Peter confided. It was true, after all.
“Peter….”
“Wade,” Peter mimicked, and then continued, “it’s no big deal, honestly. Besides, it helps keep me under cover,” he winked, before pulling Wade to the bedroom where the conversation was forgotten.
Well, Peter forgot it.
The next day, as Peter made his way to the cafeteria, he heard a whispered “Spider-Man!” from behind him and quickly turned, his heart racing. When he found himself face-to-face with Deadpool himself, anger and shock quickly bubbled within him. Thank whatever deities existed that the hallway was empty. He grabbed Deadpool by the straps that held his katanas to his back and shoved him between a wall and lockers, where he couldn’t be seen.
“God damn it, Wade! What are you doing?” Peter whispered, furiously. “This is my fucking school! You could expose-”
But before Peter could finish his sentence, he felt himself being thrown across the hall by his backpack. Fuck, perfect fucking timing. The bullies.
“Talking to walls, now, Peter?” One of them, something like James, mocked. “Or do you have a little pansy boyfriend? You fucking faggot,” he snarled, and Peter sighed.
“Well, I kind of hope he’s a faggot, seeing as I’m his ‘Little Pansy Boyfriend’,” Wade laughed, now Deadpool, as he walked out from his hiding place.
“Wade, no! Leave!” Peter panicked, and the stupid boys turned around, their laughing halting as they saw a fully armed, suited man holding a long, sharp katana in each hand.
“Who the fuck are you?” another asked, laughing, obviously not believing that the weapons were real.
“I’m fucking Deadpool,” Wade growled, advancing slowly towards them. Peter grinned widely against his will, loving the sight of the “badass” boys shaking in terror. The boys began to run, but Peter was enjoying this way too much. Without thinking, he webbed them to the lockers, and before they could question what had happened, Peter was standing, laughing alongside Deadpool.
“Huh, you carry your web shooters at school? I’m proud,” Deadpool chirped, hands on his hips as he turned to look at Peter.
“Take ‘em everywhere, babe,” Peter confessed, a wicked smile covering his face. How harmful could this be? He wouldn’t let Wade hurt them, so what was a bit of a scare?
“What the fuck kind of game is this, Peter? Huh? I’m gonna fucking kill you!” James yelled, struggling against the webbing around his torso.
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Peter murmured, walking closer to them, “you see, I’m Spider-Man.”
“Petey, I don’t think that was a very good ide-”
But laughter interrupted Wade as all four of the boys howled, James especially.
“You’re fucking insane!” James cackled, but immediately silenced when Peter jumped, his back hitting the ceiling as his fingers held him to it.
“Oh, really? I’m pretty sure I was the sane one in the relationship - at least for the most part,” Peter laughed, his smile widening, no longer wicked.
“Petey, I really don’t think that was a good idea. I mean, now I have to kill them,” Deadpool sighed, but there was a hint of excitement at the idea of killing the assholes who hurt his baby boy.
“Nope, love, because no-one is going to believe them,” Peter calmed as he jumped down and landed swiftly on the balls of his feet, “Especially if there is no evidence.” Peter then grabbed Wade’s pocket knife from his belt and proceeded to cut the webbing away from them, leaving them standing in shock at what had just happened. “However, this was just too much fun.”
“Should I cheer you on as you beat the shit out of them? Ooh! I think I still have that cute mini skirt from a few years back!” Wade gushed, clapping his hands. “You can take my hand gun, maybe shoot one in the foot!”
“No, Wade, no-one is getting shot in the foot,” Peter giggled as he wrapped his arm around his lover’s waist. “But I don’t think I’ll be coming home with a black eye any time soon; at least not from school, that is. Isn’t that right?” Peter asked of the boys, who gave a swift nod before running through the halls to ditch the rest of the day in fear. Wade gave Peter a kiss goodbye, and Peter had a peaceful rest of the school year.