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Lim Soo Ho never imagine that in a million times, later in his life he could living his dream as an ordinary man. Enjoying the beautiful view of Lake Wolfgang in front of his house without worrying that he should finish his mission immediately. Laying on a green grass but not for stalking his target through the rifle. Walking freely without worrying that someone might be watching him from afar. Talking freely without worrying that the room might be bugged. For ordinary people, this might not something to be dreamed of, but for Lim Soo Ho this is a luxury he could never afford if he chooses to stay at his home country.
He laid on the grass, watching the bird dance in the sky. The wind blew softly causing the flowers around him, surround him with soothing fragrant. He closed his eyes. His mind travelled back to the hostage situation that was occurred ten years ago.
So many “what if(s)” still rushing in his mind, what would happen if he didn’t pick that paper airplane at the gate that surrounded Hosu Women’s University dorm.
He knew he shouldn’t have stopped to pick that paper airplane. The moment he saw it, his eyes were pinned to the only distinct shape of all the paper airplanes that stuck there. His mind immediately thought about someone who could possibly fly it out there. Because he was the one who taught that specific someone to make it that way.
I told you to call me, but you didn’t give me an answer.
I’m getting kicked out of the dorm today.
It’s not that I miss you, but I want to see you once more.
His heart was getting heavy. He wanted to call her, he wanted to see her too, to take her on a date. God, he really did. He memorized the dorm number and her room like the back of his hand. But who is he anyway? A mere spy who brought nothing but troubles to her. He couldn’t afford to involve her to the dangerous life he had been living. It’s better that she hates him than risk her safety for his own desire. He felt a pang of guilt when he read that she was expelled from her dorm because of him. After gave him a safe place to hide, treated his wound until it heals, provided him with a lot of foods so he won’t be hungry, and made sure he get out safely without being captured by the ANSP. Is this how you repay her, Lim Soo Ho?
He knew the dorm has a secret passage in the mountain behind it. But he never would have thought that the shrine was the secret passage that led to the dorm. If only he knew that picking that paper airplane and take his time to read it, would cause that hostage situation that ruin her life, he would never ever pick it. But look where life has led you today, Lim Soo Ho?
She should have been despised him. For not calling her after the deeds she has done when he was wounded, for making her friends being held hostage, for killing her brother, and for the last thing that he wants to forget the most… the time that he held a gun to her head. A despicable man that he is Lim Soo Ho, all for the country that only use him as a pawn then discard him when they are done playing. And yet there she was sitting next to him, comforted him in the safest place where they can be their truly self.
He smiled reminiscing that day. For all the sins that he had been committed, yet God still gave His grace by sending him an angel. An angel who brewed a cup of coffee for him. An angel who turned his life upside down at the time she touched his hands, trying to stop the fallen match sticks tower. An angel who bloomed the feeling he never thought he had in his cold heart. An angel who came back and fulfilled her promise to stay with him until the end even though he forbids her to be. He didn’t regret that day he shielded her from the gun shower when the whole SWAT team surrounded them at their sacred place. No, he didn’t regret it at all. To have the chance to fall in love with her, for him it was enough to die in peace.
But he didn’t die that day. Bless Kang Cheong Ya for giving him the bulletproof vest that time when she learnt that he was going back to the dorm. Bless Lee Gang Mu who came back and rescued him from the death. Up until now, he still thinks that it was a miracle to survive and to be on the physical state he is in right now. Only God knows how many bullets that had been shot at him and he knew even a bulletproof vest can’t even guarantee that the bullet won’t cut through it. Every day, he never forgets to praise God for His miracle. For giving him a second chance to rewrite his life here in Salzburg.
Then he opened his eyes, only to meet a curious face of little boy who is staring at him.
“Appa, are you okay? Appa why are you crying?” the little boy asked.
Soo Ho then realized that he had a bit of tears rolling from his eyes. Then he smiled at the little boy. “I’m okay, Tae San. I just had a bad dream.”.
“Lim Tae San! Come see our snowdrops bloom right here!” A woman shouted not so far from them.
Soo Ho ruffled the little boy’s hair, he smiled and looked at the boy with tomato red cheeks, “Go help your Eomma.”
Then he saw the woman who has been waving at them, calling the little boy to come to her. Ten years has passed, and she still make his heart fluttered at the sight of her. The only woman who is able to make a veteran spy like Lim Soo Ho got whipped.
His memories then travelled back to the timeline of the most joyous time of his life. From his soul-stirring reunion with his long-lost love, the plot he set with Lee Gang Mu and Jang Han Na at Rome Coffee Shop three years after the hostage situation. The time he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him after their slow dance at Schonbrunn Garden while he hummed the song Jewelry Box of My Heart. The time he made his promise for a lifetime to love and protect her forever when he married her in the cathedral. The time when he felt ecstatic when she surprised him with a token of their love in her belly.
Then he saw the view in front of him, Eun Young Ro is caressing their five years old son’s head as she teaches him to make a flower arrangement. Then, he went back to his house to grab something and walked to her with two cups of coffee in his hands. She smiled when she saw him walked to them.
“Soo Ho-ssi, are you okay? Tae San said he saw you crying when you lay on there. You are thinking about that again, aren’t you?” The same curious doe eyes are looking at him when she accept the coffee cup from him. “It’s okay I already erased that way long long time ago, you know.” She smiled softly at him then drink her coffee.
He still had no idea what he does to deserve such blessing. “I still feel guilty for putting you in so much harm, I’m sorry Young Ro.” He looked down at his coffee. Not even her magic coffee could erase the guilt of what he did to her.
Eun Young Ro grabbed his hand then intertwined it with hers. “But I am here right now. Choosing to spend my life to be with you. Don’t think about the otherwise.” She kissed his hand Softly. The hand that always keep her safe. The hand of the man who sacrifice his own life to protect her.
Emptiness is the feeling that lingered freely in Lim Soo Ho's heart for almost three decades of his existence. The warmth spread its way to his heart. Now, with Eun Young Ro by his side and watching his son running around chasing butterflies, he couldn’t ask for more. He leaned in to give a quick kiss on her lips and softly say the very last word he said in the tape he gave her. His heart is content more than ever, and it is more than enough.