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Mark strolled into the same coffee shop he always does when he has a day off from work. The atmosphere was nice in there, with small tables having at most four chairs. There were multiple tables with only one chair that were perfect for a former villain to drink coffee alone. There were paintings of coffee beans on the wall. The lights were hanging from the banister like they couldn’t afford to put a real light fixture in, even though they definitely could afford it
He stood in the short line, and ordered his usual coffee: 5 milk and 2 sugar. Some would say that that is more milk than coffee, and to that Mark would say “who cares”.
He sits down at his usual table in the corner. He sips his coffee, looking nowhere in particular, just enjoying the environment. That is, until he notices a man step into line. Tide.
He had never seen Tide come to this shop before. He always seemed to be the type to go to a larger chain coffee shop.
He watched as Tide ordered, and went to find a seat. Tide looked in his direction, and quirked his eyebrow. He started to walk over toward the table. He pulls a chair over.
“You know, it’s sorta impolite to take a chair when you could have just sat at another table.”
“Figured you could use some company.”
“What the hell does that mean? I’m just drinking my coffee.” Mark looked annoyed, glaring at Tide as he didn’t move an inch.
“Tide you can move along. I’m not doing crime shit anymore. I just do odd jobs now. You don’t have to watch me like a damn hawk.”
“My name’s not Tide anymore,” he remarks.
What?
“What? What the hell does that mean?”
“It means my name is Rinus now. Part of the whole, you know,” he glanced away, then back again, “process. I think you’d like what it means.”
Oh. Oh no. Did he really…
“You got depowered?” Mark exclaimed.
“Be quiet!” Rinus forcefully whispered, “I don’t want to pick a new name when this one fits so well.” A moment passes. Rinus looks down into his cup of coffee. “It means ‘of the sea’. Or at least, that’s what I read it meant. Didn’t exactly have much time to find a new name.”
So that answered that question.
“How much are you able to talk about here?” The music playing in the shop was quiet, the conversations of other patrons all blurring together into plain noise. Mark took a sip of his coffee. It’s cold.
“Basically nothing. I’ve already said a bit too much to someone who isn’t a hero.” Rinus said. Mark could tell that this was just Rinus being himself, but it hurt for some reason. Mark wasn’t a hero, and he knew that. He didn’t want to be one. It still hurt.
“Can we meet elsewhere? Like your house maybe?” Mark’s house was a wreck. Dishes were piled high in the sink, all motivation lost to do them until there weren’t anymore forks to eat with. The clean laundry was sitting in the hamper with the dirty clothes on the floor right beside it. His bed wasn’t made. There was a sole pizza box left on the table.
He knew that he should have done something, could have done something, but he just felt so tired. There was a fatigue that never really dissipated, even with 8, 9, 10 hours of sleep. His nightmares would come and go, but the fatigue was always there, ready to lay a weary hand upon his back. Ready to force him to lay down at 7 PM when he should be doing something, anything at all.
“Sure. I can tell you more once you get to my place” Rinus replied.
Mark was thankful for the lack of pushback. However,
“Where is it? I took the bus here.” Mark was hoping that Rinus would once again, not ask any questions about this. Court fees and lawyers and fines are all very expensive. He had to sell his wife’s car. At least he could keep her ring.
“Oh. In that case, I will drive you.”
That was not quite the reaction that Mark expected. That worked well enough. At least he didn’t have to figure out where the closest buses were and the schedules.
“Lead the way, Rinus.”
The two arrived at Rinus’ house. Actually, it was an apartment, right in the heart of New Haven City. They took an elevator up to the eighth floor. Rinus took the keys out of his pocket and opened the lock. Inside was… very normal. It felt far too normal. It was an average sized apartment for New Haven, maybe even a bit larger than average. There were basic plants adorning the small table in the corner of the room. There was a medium sized bed with navy blue sheets. On the dresser was a down-turned picture frame. Mark could only guess who was shown in it.
“Like how it looks?” Rinus asks.
“Kinda boring. Where’s that hero pizzaz you have? No equipment? Not even a pair of weights or something?,” Mark notes.
“Eh, can’t exactly be a hero anymore, can I? And there’s a gym on the first floor anyway.”
A moment passed in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t comfortable either. Rinus gestured for Mark to sit on his bed. Mark did. Rinus sat next to him.
Mark looked toward Rinus. He asked, “Do I really gotta call you Rinus now? What's wrong with—”
“Yes,” Rinus interrupted, “Yes you do. I cannot use my prior name in any capacity whatsoever. Not even with friends. Or enemies, I suppose.”
“You think I’m your enemy. That’s cute.” Mark sees Rinus look away momentarily at his last remark. “You would invite your enemy over to your new place? Just because we met up by chance at some coffee place?”
“I guess I really cannot call you my enemy. You were Tide’s enemy, sure. But I am not him.”
Rinus looks…awfully sad. Moreso than Mark was expecting. Mark focuses fully on Rinus. There weren’t any tears in his eyes, but there was a kind of desolation in them. His eyes were a deep brown, maybe closer to black. He could probably stare into them for hours. The prospect of getting lost there sounded quite nice. Mark internally shakes himself out of the train of thought.
“You could probably call me an acquaintance and be done with it. Met me someplace, I don’t know.”
“I don’t think that quite covers our relationship well enough,” Rinus said. There was a strange passion in his voice. It wasn’t quite excitement. Maybe it was just plain and pure honesty. Mark hadn’t heard that in a while. For some reason Mark felt his face warm slightly. Damn New Haven heating. Turns on and off for no reason.
Mark felt a longing for something. He couldn’t tell what it was for. He was just sitting next to Rinus. Maybe it was a longing for attachment. The only people he really loved were dead or gone. Someone to just… be with. To be, in someone’s company, at someone’s side. To sit next to and say nothing and still feel comfortable in the silence.
Mark looks down at Rinus’ hand. It looked softer than it did when he last saw him. Almost 6 months had passed since then. He keeps looking at his hand. It was medium brown in tone, with a red, black, and purple bracelet on it. Well, fuck, if that didn’t make Mark feel worse. Here he is, wanting nothing more than to hold Rinus’ hand when he’d lost the kids. His kids.
Ashe. His breathing faltered, just slightly. He regained control of it quickly, but the grief stayed. His heart sank, just like it had when they first told him that Ashe was possessed by the demon. Just like it did when the same demon killed his wife. There was a heaviness that returned. It always did, no matter how long it left for. It always came back.
Mark moved his hand closer to Rinus’. Rinus looked over and placed his own hand on top of Mark’s. If Mark didn’t feel as bad as he did right now, he’d probably be over the moon with joy. Right now he just felt apathy. It was nice, but it didn’t really help.
“Are you okay?”
Mark looks up. He looks over to Rinus. Rinus moves his hand once again, this time to fully hold Mark’s own.
Mark just breathes. He looks just under Rinus’ face. He can’t look into his face right now. It would be too much. Whatever he looked like,whether it be pity, or sorrow, or just a smile, it would be too much. Rinus rubs his thumb gently over Mark’s hand.
“I’ll be fine.”
“So that is a no right now.”
Mark didn’t respond. He just kept looking toward Rinus, avoiding his face. His hand felt warmer than it had in months. His whole self felt warmer, but there was still that feeling of deep sadness that he couldn’t seem to get rid of.
“Mark. Look at me.” And how was he supposed to say no to that?
Rinus’ gentle, sad smile was stunning. Rinus was stunning. Rinus let go of his hand. Mark felt his heart drop. Faster than anything. He felt cold, freezing cold, in almost an instant.
Rinus wrapped his arm around Mark’s shoulder. The warmth returned as quickly as it had left. He patted on Mark’s shoulder, as if it was always meant to be this way. Mark leaned his head down onto Rinus’ shoulder, heart still drowning in sadness.
He wanted this. He had wanted this. And yet the grief never left.
Mark took a deep breath. His lungs felt like they couldn’t expand the full way, like his grief was blocking them somehow. “Saw your bracelet. Reminded me of my kid.”
“I’m sorry for what happened to him. I wish it had turned out differently. Better.”
Mark swallowed and leaned further against Rinus. He was really pulling out all of the stops. It took a lot of energy just to stay aware of the situation, to not just fade away into the depths of despair.
Rinus wraps his other arm around Mark. Mark, in turn, hugs him back, head still laying on his shoulder.
“What, trying to make me cry or something. Not gonna happen.” It was hard to swallow, and his lips were pressed firmly when not speaking, but Mark was not crying on Rinus’ shoulder, not when this was the first time that they had seen each other in months. “If it means anything, I wish it turned out better for your kids too.”
Mark felt Rinus’ breath stilt. Rinus sniffled.
“Oh, so one comment gets you crying though?” Mark jokes.
“I’ve been thinking about them all day. They aren’t dead, but God. They might as well be.” Rinus choked out.
“Whaddya mean?”
“Under orders to avoid locations that they have been at within the past 2 weeks. Their locations are documented very well, as are mine. They’re off doing some road trip somewhere and I’m. I’m here.” Rinus sniffs. “I miss them so much. So much more than I expected.”
Mark squeezed Rinus just a little bit more tightly. Laid his head down on his shoulder just a bit further, a bit closer. Held him as he cried. Mark ran his hand up and down Rinus’ back, hoping it could help, even just a little.
They stayed there for some time. Mark wasn’t keeping track of it, and he doubted Rinus was either.
Mark heard Rinus take a deep breath. “Mark,” he said, “I don’t want to force you to do this. But would you like to stay over tonight?”
Mark lifted his head up to look at Rinus. His eyes were a little bloodshot. Tear tracks could be made out on his face if he looked close enough. He was beautiful.
“If you would rather I can most certainly take you home. It is fine either way.” Rinus continues. Mark knew immediately when Rinus said this that he would probably break down crying after Mark left his car to go home. Not that he wanted to go to his shitty, dirty house, alone, after being in Rinus’ arms.
“I can stay here, if you want.”
“I would… Thank you, Mark. You really don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
“Eh, I don’t wanna pay for your gas money.” Mark would not want to leave Rinus’ arms, even if the world was ending. Even if there was another planet coming down to destroy the city. Even if a villain threatened everyone. “Let’s just lay down. I’m really damn tired.”
They both stood up from Rinus’ bed, having to let go of each other for a moment. Just a moment. Rinus pulled back his bed sheets and gestured for Mark to get into the bed. He did. Once Rinus turned off the lights, he followed right after.
Mark wrapped his arms around Rinus and squeezed him tightly, then loosened his arms a bit. Just enough to be comfortably wrapped around him. It was calm. It was nice.