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Inviting someone he'd only known for a short time to live with him wasn't the sort of thing Shirou would do, nothing in his forty-something years of life would indicate that such an action could be expected of him. And yet, that was precisely what he had done about a month ago and now Kenji was living with him.
Do I have a brain tumor? Shirou found himself thinking more than once over the course of that month. Because it really didn't make sense, Kenji wasn't even his type.
He'd always found guys like Kenji a little embarrassing, the kind that were so obviously gay to anyone who spoke to them. Also the type so excited all the time about any little thing, he liked men who were serious, manly and a little cold.
And yet there was an attraction to Kenji, and the sex was good.
Bizarrely good. Much more than he thought it would be.
Although he thought this was perhaps a bit Nobu's fault, dating someone for so long that was so selfish in bed and life in general would make anyone that came after look great just for the contrast.
So far he didn't regret inviting Kenji to live with him, but the incongruity of his actions bothered him. And he was thinking about this that night as he washed the dinner dishes.
Usually Kenji would offer to do this as a thank you for Shirou cooking, but that day he got a call from his boss and the two started discussing changing schedules for the next week, so he went ahead and started washing the dishes alone.
Shirou wasn't paying much attention to Kenji's conversation, but he heard the phrase very clearly:
“My boyfriend made pancakes for me today, he is so talented.”
And the glass he was washing broke in his hand. He let out a cry of pain as the shards of glass penetrated the skin of his hand and he saw blood mixed with the water coming of the faucet.
And soon Kenji was beside him, having come running from the sofa.
"What happened?" he asked looking worried.
“I cut my hand, there is a first aid kit in my room, please bring it here.”
“Okay, I will.” Kenji said and ran towards their room.
He started to take the glass splinters out of his hand and washed the cut directly. Kenji arrived with the first aid kit and said:
"Come to the table, I'll take care of you."
Shirou did as he said. And Kenji took his hand and said:
"The cut looks kind of big, don't you think you better go to the hospital to make sure you don't need stitches?"
"I don't think so, it's already stopped bleeding."
"Alright then." Kenji said and took the gauze and started to dry the wound.
Shirou expected pain, and there was a little, but far less than he expected. Kenji's touch was gentle and careful.
"What happened? The glass slipped out of his hand, and you tried to pick it up?” he asked as he started to wrap the gauze around the cut.
"That wasn't it."
“So what happened?”
"I was just surprised by what I heard."
"What?"
"You shouldn't tell people I'm your boyfriend without asking me first."
“Oh, okay. So it's my fault.”
"That's not what I meant."
“It's okay Shiro-san, you don't need to try to comfort me. I shouldn't have assumed, I thought we were dating, but it's okay if you don't want something like that, you've already been so generous of letting me stay here and cook for me. I can just be someone who lives with you and has sex with you sometimes. Like a roommate with benefits?" Kenji said.
But he didn't look fine, he looked hurt. He looked like he was about to walk away.
And if Kenji left, life would return to normal. And maybe he could find someone who was more his type. In theory it wouldn't be so bad. And yet thinking about that future he felt so lonely.
"I don't want that...I can be your boyfriend if you want."
"I don't want you to be my boyfriend just because you feel sorry for me."
“That's not why, I want to be your boyfriend. As you said I basically am already, I don't want things to change. I like what we have now.”
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Good, I really don't want to be just a roommate that you have a benefits relationship with."
Shirou considered pointing out that Kenji had said the exact opposite just moments before. But he thought better not.
Kenji finished the bandage and then brought his mouth to Shirou's hand and kissed it.
“Kiss to make it heal faster.” he clarified as he saw the confused expression on his boyfriend's face.
Shirou found this a bit ridiculous, but also sweet. And maybe it was time for more sweetness in his life.