Chapter Text
“And once again, my system proves itself effective.” declared one Dennis Reynolds , a hand outstretched towards his sister to flaunt a series of texts from a contact by the name ‘Kaitlyn’ – probably yet another woman he had decided to D.E.N.N.I.S.
Mac’s eyes were glued, not to the screen, but to its flaunter. Genuine awe had not failed to take over his complexion. Yeah, Dennis’s system was a work of genius . It must’ve been, with how many women he was supposedly scoring thanks to it.
Charlie, too, had figured that was the case. But it was more so because he failed to comprehend the method – coming up with his own interpretation of each step to try and fill in the blanks. After all, Dennis was the smart one. Or maybe that was Mac, but the most recent thing he could recall was that they’d declared him the brawns of their gang -- even though, technically, he wasn't that strong.
Charlie found his train of thought swaying into that topic the more he pondered on it; until at some point, the wild card had completely tuned out of the current conversation and strayed into the vicinity of his own mind.
Dee, unimpressed as she was with her brother’s antics, was first to comment. “ Oh wow. You lured some sad, desperate chick into obsessing over you. I’m impressed. Good job, Dennis, you genius .” she ‘congratulated’, sarcasm exploding through her tone.
“You’re just jealous no one’s in love with
you
” Dennis bit back.
“No one’s in love with you either, she just seems pissed to me.”
“Shut up Dee, you bird.” Mac chimed in, laughing sheepishly as soon as Dennis did. Ah yes, the joke that made very little sense, but still managed to amuse four fifths of the gang each time it would come up.
She rolled her eyes, used to that treatment at this point. “ Whatever, you guys are the worst.” Beer. Beer. She turned over to grab a can and chugged it like a champ.
It was then that Frank came along, bursting through the Bar’s door in anticipation for whatever it was the gang had roped themselves into now.
Except this time, it was nothing. They were doing nothing . That’s why Mac was the one to pop the question “You got news for us, Frank?” he asked.
“ No. You know I’m not the ideas guy.” How disappointing. He was sure they’d find something soon enough though; it was only 2:00 pm.
Dennis glanced at the clock before he spoke. “ Good, actually, because I have a date.”
Mac turned to him. “ What? Now???”
“ In half an hour, but an early departure won’t hurt anyone.” wouldn’t want to show up on time rather than fashionably early ( or more ideally late, but he had a gut feeling this particular lady wouldn’t appreciate a belated show-up. )
“Good luck, man!” Charlie finally hopped back into the conversation
“Thanks pal. You know I won’t need it though.” and with that, he made his exit.
As soon as he left, Mac gestured over at the spot at which he stood earlier; proceeding to sing the guy's praise like no other. "Seriously, he's so good at this, man. So good. I doubt anyone can pull this stuff off as well as he does it"
" What? Literally anyone can pull off that stupid system of his. It's nothing special."
"oh yeah, Dee, you think you can?"
" Oh I know I can. Hell, I bet Charlie can."
Frank interrupted " Whoa whoa , what about me? You think I can't do it? Because I definitely can. Better than Dennis, too"
" So wait, wait, " charlie flailed his palms at the group. " Everyone can do it besides Mac? That's kind of sad, dude. "
" What? " The aforementioned one squinted. " no, I can do it if I wanted to."
Dee took it upon herself to propose a challenge " Prove it "
Mac just turned to her, confused. " How am I supposed to do that? There's no one I can do it on. "
" Excuses, excuses. I think you're just scared, Mac!" She accused. " You don't think you can pull it off."
" Wh- Yes I do! "
" And I don't believe you" she shrugged
" Yeah neither do I" Frank agreed.
Shit. Shit. God damn it. Making him look so small like that; Mac hated the feeling. It was often him putting Dee in that situation, not the other way around! If Dennis was here, he would've probably been on his side.
Ok probably not , actually. But a man can dream.
He turned to his last resort; charlie; eyes sending a pleading signal fuzzed up by a desperate attempt at a confident complexion.
" Charlie. you believe me right? " He finally said.
" Uh " the one in question let his body fall back, taking in air from between his teeth in awkward doubt. " I don't know, man. I mean I've never seen you do it so . . . I wouldn't know. " He gave a hesitant shrug before pointing at Dee. " She's got a point, dude. We won't know until you do it."
" Well then what makes you guys so sure you can, huh? "
" I mean, I'll do it. I'll literally get up and do it right now. " Dee stepped off her stool.
Ah, Mac's attempt at proving a point or turning the conversation around had just backfired. He needed to one-up her. Right this Instant. But how?
" Oh yeah? With who, Dee?"
The saddest person she knew, of course. One so filled with desperation and low self-esteem that they would fall for such a stupid scheme. It was all about picking the right target, really, that was the only reason Dennis hadn't failed as much as he should've.
" The Waitress."
" Wait, that's a woman!" Frank caught on after a brief moment of silence.
" Dennis used it with women. If I want to beat him I'll have to prove I can seduce the exact same type of woman that he can. "
Mac was about to interrupt, but Charlie beat him to it. " Psh… The waitress isn't in love with dennis" even he barely believed himself halfway through the declaration. Still, he had to say something to try and convince Dee not to do it; she was the only other member of the gang that was yet to bang the woman, might as well try to keep it that way.
" Mm yeah, and I'm a brunette."
" You're blonde, Deandra, what are you talking about?"
" God damn it frank, that was sarcasm!"
" Well I couldn't tell. "
"Yeah, I noticed!" She turned over to Mac " so, what, you wanna bet on it, Mac ? "
" I'll do you one better, I'll bet that I can DENNIS Dennis himself before you get to Charlie's waitress!"
Charlie's face popped like he'd just gotten a bright idea himself; which he kind of had. Except it was just 'Mac's thing: Revamped' " Hey that's cool! It's like, ironic. I want in on that. "
" What? Charlie, the waitress is already taken." Dee argued.
" No,no, I meant Dennis. I want to, uh. Dennis Dennis. It'd be funny like the master becoming the student and all that."
" . . . You mean the student becoming the master."
" Potato tomato, I bet you guys fifty bucks I can get further than Mac."
Mac was going to use Dee's excuse; claim only one person could pull it off on Dennis. But he was positive Charlie didn't even understand half the system; meaning those were some very easy fifty bucks he'd be making. " You know what? Deal. "
" I'm in too." Frank then blurted. " I'll find some broad to do the thing on, it'll be fun." He gave a shrug. He was probably the least invested in this; but being included in what seemed to be today's scheme was pretty appealing, so there he was.
And there they all were.
Looks like they had something to do after all.