Chapter Text
Dahyun had always thought she was a nice person to be around. That wasn’t because she was arrogant or because she thought she was the salt of the earth.
No, Dahyun thought she was nice to be around because she tried to be nice to be around. Wearing big smiles on her face and cracking jokes every opportunity she could, Dahyun believed her purpose lied in making people happy.
In high school, she was known as a class clown of sorts, making smartass comments during lectures and shrinking under the teacher’s glare when she’d interrupt classes. Her classmates had loved her for it, and were always happy to invite her to their get togethers and parties.
Dahyun tried her best to make the people around her happy. They probably considered her their friend. But Dahyun knew. She never had any close friends or friend group to head back to. She was a fringe element on the outskirts of high school society. Drifting from group to group, making people laugh then leaving, not really sticking to any one person.
It was a lonely life, but she thought it was worth it, seeing them smile. She had long since accepted that that was her role in people’s lives. In fact, she lived up to it. What brief moments people had with her, she attempted to change their lives to any capacity she could.
People would come to her to cry on her shoulder from a bad breakup, or rant and yell about an argument they had with their friends, and she would be there to offer an ear and an understanding mind to receive the negativity that other people had harbored in their lives.
That was her role. The squire of a knight in his tale of heroism. The princess’s handmaiden in her love story The comforting character in a teary eyed drama. The sacrificial best friend in heated action flicks.
She was the side character. And she would continue to be so.
That’s what she believed at least.
“Need a drink?”
Dahyun glanced up from her position on the couch. It wasn’t very comfy, it was the kind of couch that had fabric that was too soft, and made you sink too deep into it. Not to mention, terrible for the summer heat waves. It was made even more uncomfortable by the fact that there was a drunken couple making out next to her on the couch, taking up about three fourths of it, and leaving her to sidle up to the arm rest, legs and arms squished up.
Now, granted that Dahyun was only a sophomore in high school, she wasn’t really interested in consuming alcohol. It made parties a blur and faint in her memory, and she liked seeing, hearing, and feeling everything in parties. It calmed her down, somehow, like she was in the eye of the storm, and everything around her was a maelstrom of teenage hormones and stupidity.
Parties also made her feel wanted. She was often invited to them, to really liven up the party with her silly games, her highbrow (and occasionally low tier) humor, and her wacky dances. Parties were one of the only times she felt like people paid attention to her outside of her role as a side character.
She had been invited to a senior’s Christmas party, and she was excited to meet new people, maybe talk to someone interesting. Or she could come and find everyone piss drunk and have absolutely no need for her. Which was also fine, and also what she ended up doing.
So, there she was, sitting on the couch, sipping on a cup of Coke Zero, tapping on her thigh to the mindless EDM music being played from the speakers of whoever owned this house.
Until someone approached her, and asked her if she wanted a drink.
Looking up, Dahyun almost spit out her Coke Zero.
Oh my god, she’s hot.
In front of her stood a very pretty girl she didn’t recognize, so probably a senior. She had short wavy jet black bob cut length hair, and very light curved eyebrows. With a sharp and narrow nose, as well as very prominent cheekbones and thin blood red lips that were currently smiling at her, the girl was drop dead gorgeous, even with the minimal make up on her face.
She wore a simple white shirt with some sort of design on it, with the ends of the shirt tied up at her stomach, allowing Dahyun to get a glimpse of her midriff and a set of very well defined abs. Her jeans trailed all the way down, opening up to bell bottoms.
Dahyun unconsciously swallowed. Did she mention she got really flustered when she was talking to very pretty people? Because, yeah, she did. And by God, was this girl exceptionally pretty.
“...hello? Earth to Kim Dahyun?”
The pretty girl’s lips moved, and Dahyun had to blink repeatedly before realizing she was talking to her.
“M-me?”
She rolled her eyes, a glimmer of amusement in them that made Dahyun’s legs quiver a little.
“Is there another Kim Dahyun in this party?”
“Not that I know of, but if I see one, I’ll let you know.”
Dahyun summoned the strength to smile, the joke slipping from her lips before she could stop herself. This was her first interaction of the night, beyond a drunken hello from the person who owned the house. She mentally cursed herself for not having the foresight to practice some jokes on any of the intoxicated partygoers before throwing one at the girl in front of her.
To her credit, her smile only got bigger.
“Well, that’d be nice, but I’m kind of looking for a very specific Kim Dahyun. You might know her, she’s in your batch.”
Pretty and capable of keeping up with her very frazzled joke? God, she could fall in love with this girl. In an instant, (as one is ought to do) she immediately imagined her entire life being with this girl. Which might have been a bit delusional, but hey, it’s a party.
“Don’t think I do, but you’re in luck, because I happen to be an expert in anything Kim Dahyun-related.”
Was this flirting? Did this count as flirting? God, she’d never done this before. Granted, she’d had crushes on the occasional pretty boy or girl that had come her way, but she’d never actually interacted with them to that extent. This was something new to her.
“Guess I’m a lucky gal, then.”
The pretty girl stretched out her hand to Dahyun.
“Hirai Momo.”
When Dahyun took her hand, she allowed her self-imposed side character role slip to the side for a that night.
And when she continued to take her hand, for the following months, in study sessions in each others’ rooms, on dates to hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and eventually Momo’s high school graduation, she believed she had done away with that role.
Momo was a very free-spirited individual, and loving her was as freeing as it was hard to keep up with. She was simple, honestly, in the way she dealt with the ups and downs of being together with Dahyun.
She loved affection, always placing her hands on Dahyun any chance she could, cuddling into her and wrapping her arms around Dahyun’s waist. Her favorite thing was placing a multitude of kisses all over Dahyun’s cheeks. The first few times it had happened, Dahyun swore her head would blow up.
She avoided problems. If it seemed like there was going to be an issue, she would instead shower Dahyun with love, taking her out on dates, giving her gifts, making love to her, in the hopes that the problem would solve itself. Dahyun never had the heart to think about problems as much when she was with Momo like that.
Her relationship with Momo was wonderful, easy, and she wanted it to last. She never thought she’d be the type to date until marriage, but she didn’t see it that way. Dahyun just wanted to put her all into the relationship, and if it became the endgame for both her and who she was with, then she’d be happy.
Of course, there were some issues with that.
“Momo...” She had asked her once, while they were together in the summer before Momo’s first year of college. They had been lying down in Momo's bed, hands intertwined and big smiles after coming from a date.
“Yes, my Dahyunnie?” Momo had hummed back, a pleasant lilt in her voice that made Dahyun’s heart swell. But hidden underneath was that anxiety, and fear in her chest that she had kept for a long time, since they had started dating.
Momo’s other hand had been playing with her hair, and she knew that Momo was looking at her as if she carried the whole world. Oftentimes, it made her feel like she could do anything. Other times, it made her feel a certain pressure, to have to live up to what Momo had expected of her. This was one of those other times.
“Does...does it bother you that we’re not soulmates? Like...is this going to last? What if you find your soulmate in college? What happens to us?”
For a moment, Momo was silent, and Dahyun was scared she’d crossed a line that Momo had drawn around them, to avoid conflict and issues. When showering Dahyun with love hadn’t worked, she would instead avoid the younger girl in and out of school, until she’d show up at her front door crying, asking the older girl to forgive her.
But then Dahyun felt Momo’s hand on her cheek, and she winced as she squeezed hard. There was a twinkle of mirth in Momo’s eyes as she smiled at Dahyun.
“You worry too much, Dahyunnie. I love you right now. Isn’t that enough?”
The anxiety that had been balling up in Dahyun’s chest refused to go away, but seeing Momo smile at her like that, like she was the reason for all of her happiness, melted away her resolve.
It was then that she realized she had never abandoned the role of the side character. She had been this whole time. Playing a backseat to Momo’s happiness, unconsciously. The times she had spent with Momo had always been for the older girl’s happiness, and Dahyun was always willing to let herself get dragged along for the ride. That wasn’t to say that Momo was selfish, far from it. She always made sure Dahyun felt loved and cared for. But Dahyun knew, somehow, that whatever slice of heaven they’d carved off in the months they’d been together would drift away soon, and it was only a matter of time.
“You’re right.”
So, Dahyun did what she did best. She took on the mantle of the side character once more, endeavoring to make her beloved unnie as happy as she possibly could be until it was time to let go. She would make her the happiest girl in the world. Even if it killed her inside.
“I love you too, unnie.”
And when Momo called her from her college dorm one night after a harrowing day at school, asking if they could talk, Dahyun had hoped she was able to do what she wanted.
“I’m sorry, Dahyun. I just feel...stagnant.”
Momo’s voice came through on the phone, and even through the microphone, she could tell that the older girl was choking up. She hated showing any negative emotions to Dahyun, because she said she felt like the younger girl didn’t deserve it. The crack in her façade only made the air around Dahyun colder, as if she was forced to confront something she had never wanted to.
But she knew it was coming.
“It’s okay, unnie. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
All she wanted was for Momo to be happy. Their relationship was never meant to last at all. There were so many signs along the way, signs that it was coming to an end. But Dahyun didn’t break it off. She couldn’t. She wanted, no, she needed to make sure that for the rest of their time together, Momo was the happiest she could have ever been. She wouldn’t be selfish. It was the least her unnie deserved.
“No, Dahyun. It wasn’t you. It was never you. God, you were perfect. You taught me so many things about love.”
Dahyun resisted the urge to sob, staying strong to show Momo that she wasn’t going to see her off with tears. She learned a lot as well. The past year with her had shown her beautiful love could be, how beautiful love with Momo could be. She deserved the fucking world, and if Dahyun couldn’t give that to her, then she knew it was time for her to go.
“Did I...did I make you happy, unnie?”
“...the happiest.”
That was enough for her. That was her role, her job. Her chapter in Momo’s book would come to an end here. If Momo could look back on this part of her life and smile, then that was all Dahyun needed. Even if her sobs and wails, her mental breakdowns, and her sleepless nights said otherwise.
As long as she was happy, Dahyun would be fine.
When she got to her senior year, Dahyun had developed a reputation for being very active in the school clubs, especially when it came to performing the odd job and small task for any club that would need it.
She roamed around the school during Club period, eager to wander into clubrooms and greet everyone with big smiles and an offer for a helping hand.
Her favorite one to go to was the Art room. She didn’t particularly have a penchant for art, she was more of a music girl what with her training with the piano. She wasn’t there for the art club, however.
She was there for one of their members, a girl one year below her. She had very short, brown and curly hair that only reached around her chin, and a small mole by the side of her mouth. Her face was often scrunched in concentration as she stared at her paintings, her brush strokes almost always rough and angry when she was frustrated.
Her name was Son Chaeyoung, and she had drawn Dahyun’s eye the first time she entered the Art room to provide them with extra paints. When Dahyun had first seen her, she ended up staring at her for a good five minutes, watching her every move, fascinated by the younger girl.
She really was a useless queer. It hadn’t been five minutes, and she’d already felt her heart beating loudly at the sight of Chaeyoung. She had struck up a conversation with the girl, and they became fast friends, and Dahyun was giddy at the thought of a new friend, eager to spend more time with her.
Which was why she was here now, her head idly lying down in her arms that were rested on the table as she stared at Chaeyoung, the knit in her eyebrows and the growl in her throat making her oddly reminiscent of a tiger cub.
“What’s up, Chaengie?”
Chaeyoung huffed at the canvas on her easel. Club period was often spent like this, as soon as the two had become friends. She wasn’t even a formal member of the Club, but because of Chaeyoung, she found herself staying in the Art room. Luckily, the Art Club members liked her, so they let her stay. Chaeyoung especially.
“I just can’t get the shape right.” Her nose was scrunched now, and she was frowning heavily at the canvas. Her right hand gripped her paintbrush tightly, and it seemed as if there was more than just the usual annoyance for art.
“Hold your brush a little tighter, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” She couldn’t help but tease, and Chaeyoung’s face twitched, as she smacked Dahyun’s arm. She just laughed, drawing her arms back.
“So rude! Don’t you have any respect for your elders?”
“As if. You’re only a year ahead, unnie, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Chaeyoung smirked, drawing a fake gasp from Dahyun. The two quickly descended into squabbling before the club moderator had to call them out and remind Dahyun that she was here because they let her be here.
Chaeyoung was loud and boisterous, always taking a stand for herself and what she believed in. She never really hesitated to call people out on their bullshit, a trait that Dahyun often found herself envying. It was admirable, really. She was the first close friend Dahyun had made after Momo, and she couldn’t help but compare how different the two were.
“Don’t think too hard, you might blow a gasket.” Dahyun merely rolled her eyes, shoving her friend.
“I was just wondering. You’re so blunt with your words, Chaengie, even if it might hurt other people’s feelings. How are you so straightforward?” She was curious. She never really wondered how the younger girl was able to do it.
Chaeyoung looked at her, an undecipherable look in her eyes as she stared Dahyun down as if there was some sort of answer in her eyes. Dahyun felt herself getting a little conscious, looking away from her piercing gaze.
“Like this.”
There was a shuffling sound of a seat moving, and when Dahyun turned to look at Chaeyoung, she had turned her seat to face Dahyun directly. Her eyes were still locked onto hers. It felt as if Chaeyoung was looking right into her soul, trying to convey some sort of secret message through nothing but eye contact.
They held their staring contest for around 10 seconds before Chaeyoung said something.
“I like you, unnie. Go out with me.”
Dahyun didn’t really know what to say. But seeing Chaeyoung look at her like that brought back memories of the senior Dahyun had given her all to. And being subjected to that gaze only meant one thing to Dahyun. She could make someone important to her happy.
“Okay.”
Never mind that she had been dreaming of this moment for a while now. The only thing that mattered was Chaeyoung’s big bright smile.
When Dahyun graduated from high school, Chaeyoung was there to congratulate her, cheering and whooping when it was Dahyun’s turn onstage even as everyone glared at her for making noise. She faintly recalled her cheeks turning red as she stormed off the stage to smack Chaeyoung’s arm for embarassing her, but she was secretly pleased that the younger girl was so proud of her as her girlfriend.
That summer was one of the best summers of Dahyun’s life, being able to spend all of her time with Chaeyoung. The two were attached at the hip, and there was no separating them at all. But like what happened a few summers ago, Dahyun couldn’t help but worry about the lack of her love’s initials on her wrist.
Chaeyoung had bonked her on the head when she had asked.
“Ow! What was that for?” She grumbled, rubbing the spot she hit.
“Who cares about soulmates, you dumbo. I love you and only you. Even if I were to find my soulmate, I’d still choose to be with you. That’s what love is.” Chaeyoung had rolled her eyes, but the subtle pink on her cheeks showed how much she really believed in her words.
Dahyun had stared at her, unable to breathe, as the answer she had unconsciously been searching for had been given to her. The anxiety that had balled up in her stomach had been swallowed up, and her chest felt light and free.
“Unnie? Oh my god, unnie, you’re crying.”
Maybe this time, she wouldn’t have to be the side character.
“203...203...ah, here it is.”
College was a funny thing. She had always seen it as some looming presence over her life and others her age, something that would suck the happiness out of her life, especially now that she had Chaeyoung. Given what had happened with Momo, Dahyun was worried that the same thing would happen. But Chaeyoung always made sure to give her reassurances. And every time she did, Dahyun would love her more and more.
When Dahyun had to move from their small town to the big city for college, Chaeyoung had begrudgingly let her go, as long as she promised to visit often. She teased the younger girl, reminding her that she only had to wait one year, then she’d be joining her in college, but Chaeyoung had told her she wouldn’t be able to wait that long.
Now, she was in front of the door of her new dormitory, just a street away from the college. All she had brought with her was her clothes and some personal amenities, since the apartment was fully furnished. That also had something to do with the fact that she was going to have a roommate. It was a girls’ dormitory, so she didn’t need to worry about any guys. She just had to worry if this girl was going to be pretty and induce that so-called gay panic in her.
She knocked on the door, inwardly recalling that the person she had contacted for the dorm room was a girl named Mina. She had no idea how she looked like, since her display picture was simply that of a cartoon penguin, which seemed like a good sign. Maybe she was really into cartoons. Or penguins. Or cartoon penguins.
The door opened, and was greeted by the inhabitant of the apartment.
She had long black hair that was straightened and tied up into a ponytail, with a similarly black baggy hoodie paired with grey sweats. Her silhouette seemed large, but judging by the shape of her face, she seemed fairly on thinner side. Speaking of her face, she had very serene looking eyes, and soft facial features, complimented by a smattering of moles all over.
She was very pretty.
“Um...Myoui Mina? I’m Kim Dahyun.” She cleared her throat, looking upwards towards the slightly taller girl. Mina looked at her, blinking for a moment before she made a soft ‘oh’. She opened the door wider for the girl to move through with her luggage.
It was a fairly large dormitory. The door opened up to the a main room, with a living room on the left side, complete with a couch, a coffee table, and a pretty large TV. Next to the living room was the kitchen with a dining table, a counter splitting the main room in half. By the left side of the living room was a short hallway that led to what she assumed were the bedrooms and the bathroom.
“Nice place.” She couldn’t help but say. She had been here before, but she hadn’t really gotten a good look at everything. Now that she was here, it was settling in that she would be staying here for the rest of her college life. Alongside Mina.
Speaking of Mina, she had closed the door behind Dahyun, and was now giving her a small smile as she walked closely behind her. She looked nervous, and the way she had been texting Dahyun, with plenty of emojis and cutesy typing, was a far cry from the girl in front of her now, who was fidgeting with the sleeves of her hoodie.
“It’s nice to meet you.” She heard her soft voice pull through, and looking at her, she saw Mina’s smile grow, her lips extending into a gummy smile. She had her hand outstretched, and Dahyun couldn’t help but smile back, taking her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” She shook her hand softly, not wanting to scare the older girl off. Mina looked down at Dahyun, as if trying to determine her intent. She drew her hand back, scratching at her wrist as she walked towards the bedroom and beckoned Dahyun to follow her.
Mina showed her around the dorm, and she had discovered that Mina had been the one to provide the furniture for her arrival. She hastily pulled out her wallet to try and pay the girl back, but all she had received was a gentle rejection to pay for her furniture. Mina had given her a small bow and smile, then quickly took off to her own bedroom, allowing Dahyun to settle in. She really was shy.
And as she unpacked her clothes, calling Chaeyoung in the process, she couldn’t help but feel like she was finally taking control of her life, and where she wanted it to go, instead of being subject to the flipping of a page to another chapter. She would write her own path.
When she told Chaeyoung about her feelings, all she had done was give Dahyun the biggest smile she had ever seen, with pride shining in them.
She should have known it wouldn’t last.
It was Christmas Break of her 1st year, and Dahyun couldn’t be more glad that it had come. Her 1st year was filled with General Education subjects, and she wasn’t sure why. Wasn’t that what high school was for? She really just wanted to get into the nitty gritty of her course, which allowed her to select a track for specialization. She had chosen film, her love for music and movies combining to culminate in her desire to be a film scorer.
Mina was the best roommate she could have asked for. The first few weeks, she had avoided Dahyun, seeking the solace of her room, apparently unused to strangers. But when Dahyun returned home late from school, she would always find a note pointing her in the direction of cooked food available in the fridge, signed with a small penguin waving at her. Once, Dahyun caught Mina playing a game on the large TV in their dorm room, and she sat next to her in silence, watching the older girl play, until Mina handed her a second controller with a shy smile. And just like that, the two had become close friends.
For Christmas Break, she had come home. To her family, to her small town high school, and most importantly, to Chaeyoung. The two had maintained their relationship, and it was going as strong as ever. She hadn’t told Chaeyoung she was coming home, opting to surprise the younger girl.
She had gotten permission from Chaeyoung’s parents, and here she was, hiding in Chaeyoung’s bedroom, waiting for the younger girl to come home from her last day of class. She giggled to herself as she ducked behind the bed, hearing the front door to the house open.
As the bedroom door opened, Dahyun leaped up from her spot, confetti in her hands as she threw it up into the air as she yelled.
“Surprise!”
She saw Chaeyoung, eyes widened in bewilderment before a smile broke across her whole face. She dropped her bags, immediately rushing over to Dahyun to engulf in her a hug.
“Unnie!”
Dahyun let out a soft grunt and chuckle as she hugged her girlfriend back. Then she blinked, noticing someone standing by the door.
It was a tall girl, taller than her, dressed in the same uniform that Chaeyoung wore, that Dahyun had worn once upon a time. She had wavy, brown hair, with a green clip on the side of her temple. She had eyes that were intense and discerning, with very sharp facial features. But right now, she seemed as if she was out of place, like she was intruding on a moment that wasn’t hers.
“Dahyun, I’d like you to meet my friend, Chou Tzuyu! She was a last minute transfer in our batch.”
A familiar clench around Dahyun’s stomach wormed its way up to her throat. But she pushed it down, mustering a grin for the tall girl.
“Tzuyu?” The tall girl bowed a little, a polite smile on her face.
“It’s nice to meet you, Dahyun-ssi. Chaeyoung’s said a lot of good things about you.”
Funny, because Dahyun had no idea she even existed.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Was all she could say.
Anxiety balled up in the center of her being as she looked at the other girl. Like a pull in her gut that refused to go away, dragging her into that pit of self-doubt and uncertainty. The way Chaeyoung smiled at Tzuyu, it was almost a mirror of how she used to smile at Dahyun. And that was when Dahyun knew.
“How’d you meet Tzuyu?” The following night, in Chaeyoung’s room when they were alone, Dahyun couldn’t help but ask.
The same smile formed on Chaeyoung’s face as she looked down. “I was assigned to help her, since she transferred over from Taiwan. She’s pretty quiet, but she can be pretty savage if she wants to.” She grins up at Dahyun from her position on the floor, painting on the ground.
She had a hunch. It was like knowing what happened at the end of a story, that the main characters didn’t end up together, that the battle was lost, that the villain had won. It was like knowing, but still hoping, praying, wishing, it was otherwise.
Chaeyoung seemed distracted after the two of them settled into silence. She was dressed in simple clothes, full of paint stains, and she was hunched over her painting, a scrunchie over her right wrist.
A sharp intake of breath. She had to turn the page. To see the ending. She wouldn’t allow it to remain hidden. No matter how much it pained her to do so.
“Chaengie...” Her girlfriend looked up at her, a grin on her face. She didn’t want to believe it. She really didn’t. But she knew. She always knew. A sad smile formed on her face as she looked into her eyes, the girl she’d loved and hoped to keep loving.
“Can I borrow your scrunchie?”
The smile on Chaeyoung’s face faded, and she saw her girlfriend’s eyes begin to get glassy. Dahyun didn’t need to ask any more. She was always hyper aware of Chaeyoung’s little habits and idiosyncrasies. Enough to know that it felt out of place for her to have a scrunchie in the first place. And Chaeyoung knew that she knew.
“...unnie...”
Chaeyoung’s voice crawled out of her throat, almost as if she didn’t want to acknowledge what she said. But she looked up at her, her girlfriend, her lower lip trembling as tears began to drip down her cheeks. Chaeyoung wasn’t one to shy away when Dahyun had asked her to do something. And this was no exception.
Slowly, Chaeyoung slid the scrunchie off of her wrist, and Dahyun could feel herself falling off of the precipice of her happiness, back into oblivion.
C. T.
Dahyun spent the rest of the night comforting her girlfriend, stroking her hair quietly as she sobbed into her arms, the two of them a void of sorrow that engulfed the entire room. Repeated whispers of apologies spilled from Chaeyoung’s broken form, while reassured murmurs of forgiveness tumbled out of Dahyun’s mouth.
“I didn’t mean to, unnie, I swear-”
“I know, Chaengie, I know, it’s not your fault.”
“I-I was just so lonely without you and-”
“Chaengie, it’s fine, I know.”
“She w-was just so nice to me and I-”
“Shhh....Chaeyoung. I understand.”
“D-Don’t leave me, Dahyun, please.”
Dahyun had no response to that. She knew what she had to do. She always did. It was the same with her friends, the same with Momo. She had to make Chaeyoung happy. No matter what the cost to herself was. That was her role.
“Chaeyoung...were you happy with me?”
“Unnie...you couldn’t have made happier.”
And just like before, that was enough for her. Just like how Dahyun had let go of Momo for her happiness, she would do the same for Chaeyoung. She loved her too much to keep her chained to her, living a life she knew would not satisfy the younger girl. She deserved everything, and Dahyun was willing to give it to her.
As long as she was happy, Dahyun would be fine.
(No. She wasn’t fine. How could she be? She often wondered how people could be selfish, to pursue their own happiness instead of others, to fulfill the dreams and passions of one’s self without care for those around them. How could anyone not give all they have to those that they loved?
When Chaeyoung fell asleep in her bed that night, her eyes red and sore from crying all night, Dahyun packed her things silently, bid farewell to her parents, and headed back to her dorm in the city.
It was close to 4 am when she arrived, and she wordlessly trudged up the stairs to her floor, and inserted the key into her door. Mina was awake, playing games on the sofa in front of the TV. She had frowned at Dahyun, wondering why she had come back after only two days.
“Dahyun-ah? What’s wrong? Why are you back so early?” She had asked, concern tinging her soft features. That was enough for the dam to break.
“She...she found her soulmate, Mina.” Her voice broke halfway through, and the exhaustion of the night, her travel here, and her broken heart allowed her knees to give, Mina catching her as she fell.
As she wept without a sound, Mina holding her just like how she held Chaeyoung merely hours ago, Dahyun realized why people people were so selfish.
It was so much easier.)
The next morning, Dahyun ignored the missed calls that she received from Chaeyoung. She ignored the voice messages left on her phone from the younger girl, begging and pleading for her to come back. She ignored the concerned texts from Chaeyoung’s parents.
And she did that for the next day. And the next. And the next. Until she didn’t receive any more calls, texts, messages, reminders of what she knew she was supposed to be.
A side character. She was there to tide over the main character. To help them come to some sort of profound realization. To show them the beauty of life, of love, and everything in between. To give them the chance to see the truth and reality of their being. And then be whisked away by the story, never to make an impact again.
She was selfish. She knew Chaeyoung was going to get her soulmate. She knew that she would stand in the way of her happiness, of Momo’s happiness. And yet, she did it anyway. There was the justification of making them as happy as they could be with her, but she knew it was only for herself, to justify her staying with them, her being with them, her loving them.
She could only blame herself for the pain. If only she hadn’t been so presumptuous. So arrogant. So naïve. If she had simply stayed in her lane, withdrew to the back of the story, kept out of the spotlight, she would have been fine. They would have been fine. It was her fault everything had always come to this.
Momo’s hugs and kisses. Chaeyoung’s art and words. She would keep them with her forever. They were precious to her, reminders of a story wherein she had tried to seize the role of the main character, to stand in front of the stage and wish for her own happiness. They were reminders of what she had lost and who she had hurt in her selfish quest.
She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
She would step aside. Always. The story would go on. And she would be left in the front of the book’s pages, never to be seen again by the reader, only to serve her purpose once, and to serve it well.
She would make other people happy as best she could. That was what she was good at. That was all she could and would ask for.
Nothing more, and nothing less.