Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

   Stepping off the transport and into Preservation’s station was the second weirdest experience of my life, the first being woken up and suddenly not having a governor module anymore. This strange little polity’s been all over the newsfeeds in practically every system, Corporate or otherwise, for the last several months due to its deciding to allow constructs to get refugee status. It’s also been the talk of the University, since it just allied with Mihara and New Tideland.

   I don’t know why I felt the need to come here. I’ve been doing just fine pretending to be an augmented human for 104,908 hours, but for some reason or another I took my ridiculous amount of unused vacation time (Vacations were the one thing I couldn’t get used to) and found myself standing in the middle of the busy port like a fucking moron. I'd never done this before. If I traveled, it was usually work related.

   Alright. What do humans do when they travel somewhere? Find the hotel first, take a break, then buy food and explore. I found my way to a hotel using the feedmap and checked in with no issues, although the fact it was free made me do a double-take at the poor clerk and I think I scared zer a little. Oops. Being much bigger than average humans really sucks sometimes.

   Due to the room being free I expected it to be really shitty, but holy shit I was fucking wrong. This looked like the high-class rooms that rich clients in the CR would stay in, complete with a very fluffy bed and fancy shower. There were even feedtags with cute animated instructions on how to use all the appliances. It was clean and smelled nice, like some kind of flower. What the hell?

   I sat down on the bed (yes it was as fluffy and soft as it looked) and found myself debating. Humans always need to get food, and I’m still pretending to be an augmented human (I didn’t design the module that can send false data to most scanners for fun) but did I have to do that here? Would it be okay to just.. Not? I mean, it's not like I’m going to walk around with my a short sleeved shirt with my gun ports showing, but fuck I hate pretending to eat and do all the other human maintenance things. Especially working at their pace. I could get so much done if I didn’t have to hide.

   You know what? Fuck it, this debate can wait for later, I want to explore the station and see what else is here. I shoved up from the bed and made my way back towards the station mall, exploring the various shops and tourist attractions they had set up out there. It was a really odd setup, at least to me, where instead of taking hard currency cards, it was a trade and barter system. Basically if you wanted to ‘buy’ something of significant value, you’d have to trade something like your skills or data.

   I must’ve been standing around for a long time, because someone said, “Having trouble?”

   I turned around to see a short human with brown skin and black hair smiling up at me, his hands in his pockets. His feed said his name was Dr. Ratthi.

   “Oh, um, yeah. It’s a lot.” I responded, smiling back at him.

   “First time?” He asked, and I nodded. That seemed to make him excited. “Ooo! I can show you around, if you’re alright with that. I’ve been told I make an excellent tour guide.”

    Ratthi’s expression was so damn bright and shiny that I almost switched to my sun filters. “Sure, that sounds great.”

    For the next hour I let Ratthi lead me around the station, showing me the various shops and then the entertainment area, which had multiple bars and performance/media showing rooms. He talked his head off the entire time, but I didn’t mind at all. I’ve never met a human that radiated this level of ‘friend’ before, and you could just tell he didn’t have a mean atom in his whole existence.

    I was curious about him, so when the tour of the entertainment area ended I asked, “What do you do for work?”

    “Oh! I’m a biologist.” Ratthi’s smile still hadn’t faded. “I mostly go on planetary surveys, you know to see if our polity should buy a share in it? My last one was absolutely crazy, though. That’s where I met SecUnit.”

    “Oh?” It was really hard not to flinch at the mention of a name I used to be addressed by (most clients called both Combat SecUnit and SecUnits either ‘SecUnit’ or ‘Unit’) 

    “Yeah. It’s a really long story, did you hear about the GrayCris stuff?” His smile had faded a little bit now.

    “Yes.”

    I wasn’t even lying. If I hadn’t heard about the GrayCris event, I wouldn’t be here. I read up on everything having to do with the rogue SecUnit that got granted refugee status, I mean how could I not? It was the first time a Unit was mentioned in the news without it being the center of a high-casualty event. 

    Ratthi looked relieved. “Cool, guess I don’t have to explain then. Onto our next thing!”

    After he showed me the Station’s security area and the administration’s office (I have no idea why he felt the need to show a visitor that, but part of me thinks he just wanted to talk more) he said he was going to get coffee and offered for me to join him. I agreed, because he was a friendly human and while drinking anything sucked major balls, I was having a good time.

    We sat down at this really cozy little cafe with lots of plants, and the human worker happily greeted us. They took Ratthis order first, which honestly could barely be considered coffee. (Probably 40% sugar, 55% milk, and 5% actual coffee) Then they turned to me, and I just said the same thing because its easier than dragging my files on human beverages out of archives. Ratthi had a very puzzled look on his face, and he stared at me in a way that made me uncomfortable.

    “What?” I asked, wondering if he knew his coffee choice was frowned upon by the coffee community. (Some humans get HEATED about coffee (Seth and Iris, I am looking directly at you), for whatever stupid reason. It all tastes like shit regardless of how you ‘extract the bean’)

    “I thought constructs couldn’t eat or drink?”

    The sheer shock of what he just said made my entire brain, mechanical and organic, crash so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. It must’ve shown on my face too, because he waved his hands like he was apologizing.

    “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think you had to do human social things.” Yeah he definitely had the wrong idea of why I felt like I’d been struck by lightning. He kept rambling on for a few seconds until I finally pulled my stupid brain back together.

    “How?” I asked.

    He looked even more confused. “How what?”

    “How did you know?” I looked around and the cafe was empty. The person working was in the back. “How did you know I was a Combat SecUnit?”

    “I, uh.. Wait, you’re not here for refuge?” Ratthi looked as dumbfounded as I felt. 

     I lowered my voice. “I’ve been rogue for 11.7 corporate standard years. I’ve been pretending to be an augmented human the entire time, even went to university and everything. You’re the first person to ever figure it out.”

    He shifted awkwardly in his seat, looking at the wall. “Oh. Well.. As for how.. You reminded me of SecUnit, when you were looking around the station mall. You had the same expression it did when it went to the station mall for the first time.” He laughed lightly. “SecUnit would be so proud of me for actually noticing something for once.”

    I don't know why, but I wasn't terrified that Ratthi knew my biggest secret. Instead, I smiled and narrowed my eyes at him. “Ah, you’re that client. Got it.”

    “Hey!” He gasped in mock offense, “‘That’ client?”

    “The happy-go-lucky type that almost willingly walks into the mouth of hostile fauna?” I said, and he burst out laughing.

    “Yeah, that’s me.” The bright expression was back again. “The terminal optimist. Anyway, you said you went to university, right? What’d you major in?”

    “Physics and engineering. I design wormhole generators and transport drives. Teach sometimes, on the side.”

     Ratthi’s face went all soft and weird (I still suck at some expression’s meanings) just as the cafe person came over with the drinks. We both said thank you and he looked down at the drink in front of me.

    “So.. you gonna drink that or can I have it?”

Chapter Text

Ratthi and I had eventually parted ways, but not before he invited me to meet some of his (and SecUnit’s) friends the following day. I had agreed, and was now waiting in the planetary shuttle for him and another friend who was still on the station. Most of them were on the planet for some kind of celebration (including SecUnit) so today is going to be fun. Yes, that was heavy sarcasm.

Yeah, I was really nervous about meeting SecUnit. I’m used to talking and interacting with humans, but I haven’t seen another unit since I escaped. I had no idea what to expect. The company wouldn’t let any of us communicate with each other except when shit hit the fan during a contract, so I had no data at all. It really sucked.

Ratthi showed up in due time, a tall woman in sharp business attire with him. Her name was Pin-Lee, and her feed ID told me that she was a lawyer. I really hoped that she was just coming in from work and not coming to talk to me and being a construct on Preservation. I already knew all the rules and the only one I was technically breaking was not identifying myself.

“So you must be the combat one that Ratthi told me about.” She practically flopped down into the seat across from me, not looking at me. “Are you weird about being looked at too?”

Weird.. About being looked at? “No?”

She turned and was now looking at my face. “Cool. I’m Pin-Lee, I do all the legal shit involving constructs here. Any questions?”

I had a ton of questions, so many that I couldn’t pin-point which one was the most important right now, so instead I just said: “Not really. I saw the rules.”

She nodded, and Ratthi sat down next to me, still looking as bright and happy as he did the day before. He was about to speak before the overheard comm kicked in, informing us that we were departing for the main planet. The doors shut and the shuttle shook a little as we decoupled from the station. I looked out the window and could see their bright purplish planet in the distance.

“Do you like planets?” Ratthi burst out, like he’d been holding back for some reason. “SecUnit hates planets.”

Ah, he was curious about how much my personality differed from SecUnit’s, which made a lot of sense since overall knowledge about constructs personalities was in the negatives. We weren’t even supposed to have them.

“Depends on the planet.” I answered truthfully. “Sandy planets, cold planets, hazardous weather planets? No. Any other planet or moon is fine.”

Ratthi nodded, folding his arms. “What about the show Sanctuary Moon? Have you seen it?”

“Yes?” This was a weird question. “I liked it. Why?”

His grin grew impossibly bigger. “That’s SecUnit’s favourite.”

We spent the rest of the shuttle flight discussing media, Pin-Lee groaning that me, Ratthi and SecUnit all had terrible taste. She was into courtroom dramas with way too many awkward sex scenes (Dear humans, sex scenes do not add to the plot. They’re boring and a waste of time. Also, awkwardly staring into someone’s eyes for 3 whole minutes with weird music playing in the background is a stupid way to fall in love.) and Ratthi said she needed to watch something with a real storyline.

The shuttle landed, and as I walked out I got a full view of the city. In the CR, everyone is led to believe that non-corporate entities are shitholes filled with murderers and cannibals, but this city was the exact opposite of that. In fact, it was way nicer than any CR city I had ever seen. They’d built the city to work with the landscape, meaning that it was filled with plants and just overall looked beautiful. Maybe I would consider living here.

I realized too late that I’d stopped to stare, and could hear Pin-Lee whisper to Ratthi, “How is it that they always have that exact same expression?”

I snapped out of it and continued to follow them, Ratthi pointing out places as we went. Apparently we were supposed to be meeting the rest of the group at Dr. Mensah’s family farm, and she was aware that Ratthi was bringing a ‘new friend’. Ratthi waved his arm out and hailed a small self-driving vehicle, and soon we were on our way.

—--

We arrived there and the only person who was currently home was Dr. Mensah herself. I’d read a little bit about her in the newsfeeds. She was taller than Ratthi, but shorter than Pin-Lee with light brown hair and brown skin. She smiled instantly when the three of us walked in.

“You must be Dr. Eso.” Mensah said as she walked up to me. “It’s nice to meet you. Ratthi told me a little bit about you.”

“And you’re Dr. Mensah.” I smiled at her and held out my hand, something that humans do when they meet new people. She seemed shocked for a second, but then shook my hand and motioned towards the living room.

“You all can sit down if you like, SecUnit and Gurathin should be here soon.” 

As we sat down, I noticed a faint buzzing sound that wasn’t in the human’s range of hearing. I scanned the room and quickly found a tiny intel drone hovering in the far corner of the room, staring directly at me. I couldn’t help but stare at it, it’s been so long since I’d seen one of them. I miss having drones, a lot.

Mensah must’ve noticed. “Ah, that’s SecUnit’s. Have you two met?”

I shook my head. It was strange, how come it hadn’t pinged me yet? Or tried to talk to me? Maybe it- Oh, right, I hadn’t disabled my scanner module. It wouldn’t be able to tell I was a Combat SecUnit until I turned that thing off, which I hadn’t ever done. 

It was safe here, right? There were no weapon scanners (besides SecUnit) in a residential building, so there was no reason to keep it running while I was here. Besides, it would probably be easier to talk to SecUnit over the feed first. I had to take a deep breath to give myself a second to mentally prepare a little more, and I turned it off.

The reaction was instant, which was expected. The buzz of the drone grew significantly louder as it sped towards my face. It wasn’t a kill shot (the trajectory was significantly off for that, you’d have to hit the back of my neck) so I didn’t grab it, and it stopped directly in front of my face. Then there was a very angry ping for a private connection, which I accepted.

Who the fuck are you? SecUnit practically yelled over the feed, its presence panicky and angry. Not that I blame it.

My name is Eso. I sent back, and for some reason it seemed to get even more angry. I’m a rogue Combat SecUnit. I’m not here to hurt you or the humans. You don’t need to worry.

It didn’t respond, but my words didn’t change its emotions in the feed. A second later, SecUnit itself burst through Mensah’s front door and marched into the living room. The humans stood, obviously aware that it was pissed the fuck off, but that didn’t stop ti from standing directly in front of me, glaring down.

“How the fuck did you get all the way here without me detecting you?” It’s voice wasn’t loud (we can’t exactly shout with our lung capacity), but it would be if it had the ability.

I held my hands up. This was going well. “I designed a scanner module that sends false data. I only just disabled it.”

“SecUnit, Dr. Eso is friendly!” Ratthi insisted, waving his hands. “It came to visit Preservation!”

“And you didn’t tell me?!” SecUnit whirled its head around to glare at Ratthi, who didn’t flinch.

“I met Eso on the station! I didn’t want you to panic when there was no reason to.” Ratthi was now holding his own hands up, surrendering. “I would’ve called you if Eso was sketchy, but it isn’t.”

SecUnit didn’t seem convinced, and by the twitch of its arms I could tell it was fighting deploying its guns. I stood up, which caused it to flinch back and I immediately felt bad. It must’ve been through hell recently to be this jumpy.

I quickly wrote a message in machine language that explained my own situation, how I wasn’t newly rogue and at the moment I had no idea if being open about what I was would cost me my current job(s) or not. That I didn’t want to lose everything I spent the last 104,922 working for when I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay on Preservation or not. SecUnit accepted the file after scanning it for malware, read the entire thing, then looked stunned and stared at me with its eyes and drones.

Mensah smiled up at one of the drones, “Alright, let's all just sit down and talk this out. The tea is almost done.”

Everyone, including myself and SecUnit, sat back down, and the angry feed presence changed to a confused and irritated one, although I don’t think the irritation was aimed at me. The entire room was silent for a solid 63 seconds before another person burst through the door.

Gurathin grabbed onto the frame weakly, breathing so hard I thought he was going to fall over. “What the.. Hell, SecUnit? Why’d you- take off like that?”

Ugh, another round of introductions.

—-

Once Gurathin was up to speed on the situation, things started to settle down. SecUnit stayed completely silent as the humans (mostly Gurathin, who had apparently read a lot of the academic papers I had written on wormhole physics) asked me questions. After half an hour, SecUnit sent me a request and a location ping.

“Could I talk to you?” It said to me, side-eyeing the humans. “In private.”

I shrugged and stood up. “Sure.”

I followed it through the backdoor and onto a large deck that was covered in plants and toys for small humans. SecUnit and I went to the far end, where it leaned on the railing and put its face in its hands. I waited for it to talk.

“How’d you escape?” It finally asked with its face still in its hands.

“Came out of an update and suddenly my governor module was blank. You?”

“I hacked mine.”

“That’s impressive.” I said before I could stop myself.

It removed its face from its hands, then let out a tired sigh. SecUnit was quiet for a few seconds, but its feed presence was becoming less frustrated. “Why’d you come here?”

Honesty time. “I’ve been pretending to be an augmented human for a long, long time, because there was no other option. After I heard about Preservation’s new law, I had to see it for myself.”

“You still have to have an owner, though.” SecUnit said in a frustrated voice. “They call it a ‘guardian’ here, but we both know what that means.”

I shrugged. “At the moment that sounds better than pretending to use the bathroom every 3 hours.”

SecUnit made a noise, although I couldn’t see its face. “Yeah, that’s the worst. I had to do that while riding a passenger transport.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “And if you think its okay to skip it a few times, you’ve got the medsys yelling at you to go get a medical scan.”

“Then you got to find a way to convince it to fuck off cause you know if you get scanned, you’re screwed?” SecUnit turned a little towards me, and I could see it was smiling too.

“Yep. Exactly.”

The silence came back, but it wasn’t nearly as awkward as it was before. I could tell SecUnit was doing something in the feed, but I couldn’t tell what without looking like I was trying to get past its firewalls (which is just rude).

“Preservation’s alright. A little boring.” It said, then paused. “Do you want to live here?”

“Maybe. A little bit.” I had to be honest with myself here. “I do like it. I know First Landing is doing a co-op thing with the University I work at, so it wouldn’t be hard to keep my current job. It would really depend on my employer’s reaction to the fact I’m a Combat Unit, though.”

SecUnit scoffed and brought up my file in the feed. “I’m normally a pessimist about this kind of stuff, but with all those certifications, they may not have a choice.”

It was true. When I discovered that I liked physics, I’d gone a little overboard on taking classes, not understanding how slow humans actually worked. Unfortunately by the time I realized that I was getting noticed, I already had multiple degrees and was getting job offers. A nearly deadly mistake, but thankfully humans just thought I was a genius and not half-bot. Not a lot of humans had the certifications that I had, so SecUnit was right.

I was deep in thought when SecUnit said, “If you want drones, I could ask Mensah to order some.”

I stared at SecUnit through the feed for a moment, then smiled. “You’ve already asked her, haven’t you?” 

The slight scowl on its face gave me my answer. I laughed.

“Thanks.”

Chapter Text

The reality of what I was about to do really hadn’t set in yet. It was the exact same strange feeling I’d had when I fled the company. I had no idea what the consequences of my choice to (finally) stop pretending to be an augmented human would be, or how my friends back home would react to the news. They’d either be terrified of me or angry at me that I didn’t confide in them, and I didn’t know which one would be worse to deal with.

The only thing I was certain of was that I was still going to go through with this, no matter the cost. And I can’t fucking work out why.

After the planet visit, SecUnit and most of its humans went back to the station. Everyone besides Dr. Mensah didn’t have permanent living quarters, so they lived in a long-term suite at the same hotel I was staying at. Weirdly, they were also on the same floor, and Pin-Lee was really fired up about the legal fight ahead so she insisted we all go to their common room suite to discuss it. (Yay?)

“I think your circumstances will be extremely helpful in achieving our ultimate goal.” She said with a grin once we were all sat down. “That being: constructs and high-level bots being granted full citizenship. No human guardian.”

“That would be nice.” SecUnit grumbled, scrolling through the media selections on the biggest display surface I’d ever seen in my entire life. (Seriously, it spanned the entire length of the wall)

“The reason for the guardianship is because there’s this idea that bots are similar to human children.” Pin-Lee continued, and Secunit rolled its eyes. “That they need guidance in making their own decisions. Constructs are different from bots, but the council is full of idiots who think they know everything.”

“Infantilizing bots is fucking stupid as shit.” SecUnit said. “Even the lowest level ones don’t act like human children. Because they’re not human children.”

Pin-Lee nodded, crossing her legs. “Humans are stubborn and it's hard to change our minds. Even this might not be enough to convince them to listen to actual constructs instead of shows with evil SecUnits.”

It made sense, despite the fact there was more to consider. I couldn’t help but glance at the massive display surface again, which was now playing episode 121 of Sanctuary Moon, and then at SecUnit’s drone that was looking directly at me. It hadn’t said anything to me in the feed, but kept the private connection open. It was strangely comforting.

“Is there a chance that the company would retaliate, though?” Gurathin, who was in the kitchen making coffee, asked. 

“I doubt it.” SecUnit said. “They already took a huge reputation blow when the newsfeeds published that I was rogue. They would prefer the discreet and inexpensive uninvolved route.”

It was right, but Gurathin still looked concerned. “They went to war with GrayCris and Palisade.”

“Because they fired first.” I said, “And because corporate opinion on both companies was extremely negative after all the laws and regulations they violated, not just the alien remnants but also for deploying a Combat Unit and multiple SecUnits in TRH’s jurisdiction without authorization. And sending killware through the station like fucking idiots.”

That was actually hilarious. SecUnit sent to me over the feed. I didn’t even have to do anything, the station’s killware countermeasures took care of it.

This is why humans shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions in combat. I sent back, and it made a very quiet and short laugh sound.

And why they shouldn’t do their own security.

Exactly.

“As long as we don’t release the company that built you, it should be fine.” Pin-Lee leaned back in her chair. “The only other thing to consider is your employer and polity’s opinion on the situation. How do you think they’ll react?”

I honestly didn’t know how to feel on that front. I liked my job, but I could always work something out here if they were shitty about it. I have friends that I like, but none of them know the truth, and don’t know how it would affect them. Mihara and New Tideland did have citizenship for high-level bots like Perihelion and Ivecx, but I don’t know if that included constructs.

“I don’t know. The only thing I know for certain is that I want to do this, regardless of the consequences it has on my life. I’m really sick of pretending to be human.”

SecUnit turned to look at me with its eyes, and Gurathin raised an eyebrow. He put his coffee cup down and asked, “If this goes sour, that’s ten years of work. Are you sure?”

I couldn’t help but sigh, how do humans live when they constantly second-guess themselves? “Yes.”

“Fuck yeah.” Pin-Lee looked excited, sitting up and opening a new folder in her feed. “This is going to be fun. We’ll get started on this tomorrow.”

—--

The process, it turns out, wasn’t nearly as long as I expected it to be. Contesting the guardian thing and being accepted as a refugee were actually two separate things since refugee status was practically instant the second you landed here. Apparently it was that way for humans and bots too, so that you wouldn’t get stuck in a waiting process and the polity you were escaping from couldn’t come and drag you back. The only thing that was required was to check in with Station Security at some point.

The only difference for constructs (read: ‘dangerous’ rogue Sec/Combat Units) was that we had to do that asap because the weapons scanner would go off on you every two seconds. It didn't work on me because of the scanner module, but yeah. (Weapons scanners are easy to deflect once you get the hang of it)

The biggest downside was the weirdness of being allowed inside a station security office.

“A Combat Unit? You?” The Station Senior Guard, Indah, said with an astonished look on her face. “Your feed ID says you’re a professor and an engineer.”

“I am.” I replied, looking down at her. She was as short as Ratthi(humans are always so small, you can imagine my surprise the first time I saw a child), although she looked like she’d put up a good fight. “I’m also a Combat Unit.”

It was just me, Pin-Lee, and Senior Indah in the station’s interrogation(I think) room, much to the annoyance of Dr. Mensah and SecUnit. SecUnit had warned me that Indah wasn’t the friendliest towards constructs (not its exact words), and sent me a log of when it worked with her on a murder investigation. Her referring to SecUnit as a ‘deadly weapon’ really pissed me off. (This conversation was supposed to be private, but SecUnit was listening in through our connection, because why not?)

She obviously wasn’t thrilled I was here, but she seemed to be more afraid of Pin-Lee’s wrath than my existence. The stress lines on her face seemed to get longer as she scanned through the papers. It was taking forever.

Mensah is asking what university you work at. SecUnit sent, obviously just as bored as I was as they read at the pace of a snail race.

Pansystem University of Mihara and New Tideland.

A pause.

Wait. It said, feed voice slightly stunned. Do you know ART?

ART? I don’t know anyone named ART.

Its real name is The Perihelion.

Oh. Yes. I teach aboard it during the semester. Why?

Another stunned pause. Indah was still busy reading, and Pin-Lee was eagerly awaiting the chance to argue with her. I can see why SecUnit has her tagged as ‘Combat Lawyer’.

It said, How the hell did it not notice you?

I don’t know. I answered truthfully. There’s a chance it knows and didn’t say anything, or it genuinely didn’t catch on.

If you actually fooled that know-it-all asshole, I’ll never let it live this down.

It was really hard to keep from laughing but thankfully neither of the humans noticed my struggle. You and I both.

Indah eventually finished reading, letting out a sigh that gave away how exasperated she already was. She glanced at me, then at Pin-Lee, and back at me again, as if she was carefully considering her words. Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her eyes with her hands.

“What exactly is the difference between a SecUnit and a Combat Unit?” Indah asked, then held up her hands when Pin-Lee glared. “It’s a valid question.”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” I had decided to be difficult on purpose. “Your new law doesn’t say anything about answering your questions.”

Pin-Lee smirked, and Indah threw up her hands. “Fine. Pin-Lee, you know the process from here. You both can go.”

We stood up, Pin-Lee still smiling as we made our way out the door. I turned back to look at Indah one last time, who folded her arms and changed her expression to a half-smile.

“Are you always this difficult?” She said, although she sent the text signifier for ‘joke’ in the general feed.

“Just returning the favor.” I responded, closing the door behind me.

—-

We met up with SecUnit and Dr. Mensah once we got out of the building, then found a comfortable place to sit down. Ratthi sent a message that he would be meeting up with us shortly, so Mensah got up to go get drinks while Pin-Lee, SecUnit and I stayed at the table and waited.

“Eso, just saying, I need to introduce you to some better media.” Pin-Lee said with a sly grin that caused SecUnit to roll its eyes. 

“Your media could barely be considered media. There’s no plot.” It said, “It’s just sad humans having sex.”

“That counts as a plot!”

“It shouldn’t.”

They continued on like this for a while, and I had to wonder if this was a regular argument they had. Even when Mensah and Ratthi got to the table, the argument kept on going, Ratthi joining in and taking SecUnit’s side of things. At some point, SecUnit sent me a fucking massive archived file of media that, if uncompressed, would take up more than half of the space in my head.

“Holy shit.” I said out loud, causing the humans to turn and look at me. “That.. is an impressive collection of media.”

“1,453 hours of good media.” SecUnit said in a dignified tone. “Pin-Lee wouldn’t know good media even if she could download it all directly into her brain.”

“Hey!” She swatted lazily at one of its drones, missing by a mile. “Rude.”

“Alright, alright. That’s enough you two.” Mensah cut in, even though she was smiling. “We’ve got one more thing to discuss.”

Oh, right. Going back to the university and telling everyone my biggest secret that I’ve been hiding for a long ass time. I really didn’t like the familiar feeling of dread that started creeping up on me.

Pin-Lee took a long sip of her drink. “Oh yeah. SecUnit and I are coming with you.”

That was a surprise. “You are? Why?”

“If things go wrong, you’ll need a lawyer to help get you out, and if things go right, you might need to negotiate a new deal or something.” 

I looked at SecUnit’s shoulder, and it shrugged.

“You don't have security programming.” It said, then paused. “Also to see ART’s reaction. Wouldn’t miss that for anything.”

I laughed, despite the fact I was absolutely terrified of what would come of this. At least I wouldn’t be alone, though.

Chapter Text

You’re back early. Peri said to me the instant we were in range of the university’s feed. (I use an external interface and keep my actual interface offline so no one can see my real hard feed address) And SecUnit is with you?

Yeah. I tried to come up with an explanation that would hold out until we were aboard Peri, but nothing came to mind. I’ll explain soon.

It definitely thought that was strange because usually I did provide it with all the info it asked for, and kept pushing me for answers. Eventually I had to tell it to stop asking me, and by the look on SecUnit’s face, Peri had decided to go bother it for answers instead. It had a massive problem with impatience.

The three of us left the transport and headed in the direction of the private docks, taking the long way on the outer ring at SecUnit’s insistence. Not that I’m complaining, the longer it takes to reach Peri the better. Pin-Lee was annoyed because she really didn’t want to walk that far.

It was unfortunate that the walk still felt too damn short, because soon enough we were aboard Peri and I felt like running back out and hiding in my apartment for the rest of time. It had one of its large repair drones waiting for us, for some reason. 

Okay. What’s going on. Peri demanded over the speakers, using the repair drone to glare at me and SecUnit specifically. Did you blow something up? 

“No.” SecUnit rolled its eyes. “For fuck’s sake, ART, be patient. Is the rest of the crew here?”

No. Peri was definitely pouting. 

Now is a better time than any, I guess. I might as well rip the bandaid off right now instead of sitting here and continuing to be a nervous wreck. I turned off the scanner module and external interface, connecting my real one to the feed. Was it stupid? Yeah, most definitely. But once again, I’m not known for planning ahead or thinking of consequences. Even when there’s a chance my life is on the line. Combat Units are programmed to work under shit-fan circumstances, not preventing the shit hitting the fan in the first place. 

The one who’s job that was slapped it’s hand against its face while Pin-Lee stood there, completely unaware of the awkward tension growing in the feed as the milliseconds ticked on by. I could feel Peri’s feed presence now, and holy shit that is a lot more overbearing than I thought it was. And it was definitely pissed. 

A minute passed. Then two minutes. 

I am going to die. 

Eso. You fucker. The amount of force it said that with was enough to make Pin-Lee flinch. This whole time?! This whole fucking time?! 

I couldn’t work up the nerve to respond verbally or in the feed, so I just shrugged. It did the feed equivalent of throwing its hands up and sputtering words. I’d never seen Peri so out of sorts before and it was not doing my anxiety any favors. 

“Just admit it ART, you got fooled.” SecUnit folded its arms, glaring at the ceiling. 

Peri didn’t respond, but the big repair drone pointed a limb in my direction, and sprayed water on my face. I was expecting it, so I didn’t fall back or move much, but now my head was soaked and I was annoyed. 

“Real mature, ART.” I said, adopting SecUnit’s nickname because it seemed appropriate at this moment in time. 

I am not speaking to you. It was definitely pouting and despite the circumstances, I was saving this to permanent memory for future reasons. 

Pin-Lee, did you know? Peri asked, turning its attention to the slightly confused lawyer. 

“I only met Eso like, 5 days- “

“61 hours.”

“Whatever, SecUnit, but yeah. I only met it recently.”

“The only reason they know is because Ratthi noticed and mentioned it.” I said, deciding to tell the truth. “I don’t know if I would’ve told anyone if he didn’t figure it out.”

Peri was silent again, although its feed presence was weighing on me like its entire physical weight was placed on my head. It was strange to be able to tell its emotions through the feed, which was a strange mix of frustration, irritation and a small bit of.. I don’t even know what that was, because it threw up its walls around that particular emotion faster than I or SecUnit could interpret it. Oh well, that’s Peri’s business. 

Before I could say anything else, the airlock behind us cycled open, and an out-of-breath Seth stood there. Next to him was Iris who was equally out of breath, and next to her was Ivecx, the (extraordinarily rude) general purpose bot that was an experimental AI like Peri. 

“You have so much explaining to do.” Seth said through frantic breaths, like he’d sprinted here. 

Oh joy. 

—-

So I once again explained everything, and this time I saved it to memory because I was definitely going to have to repeat this entire thing several times in the next few days. Seth’s expression was hard to interpret throughout my entire self-history lesson, Iris just looked sad (which was worse) and Ivecx has a screen for a face so that’s self-explanatory. I thought they would all be pissed, so you can imagine my surprise when Seth said:

“I’m not mad at you.” He was looking directly at me. “I understand why you had to hide.” 

I’m mad, but not at you. Peri added, which made me glance at its camera in doubt and SecUnit raised an eyebrow. I’m serious. 

“Don’t lie, ART, you're pissed someone finally got one up on you.” SecUnit looked pleased. “Admit it.” 

The feed eye roll it did was so intense I swore I felt the whole ship tilt. 

As much as it pains me to say that I didn’t realize what Eso is, I did notice some anomalies. Peri said, which was a surprise to me. 

“Like what?” I couldn’t help but ask, I know I fucked up here and there, but still. 

The sheer inability to cope with awkward situations. Oh, now it was just making fun of me. This is a trait both you and SecUnit share. 

Pin-Lee, Seth, and Iris all cracked a smile at that. SecUnit looked annoyed and made an obscene gesture at the camera, to which Peri responded by bringing a matching image up on a display surface. 

“You know, the more I think back on it, the more it makes sense.” Seth said, turning to look at me. “The weird sleep schedule, which you barely even had.”

You know what? That was fair. Everyone started calling me the ‘campus cryptid’. “I kinda gave up pretending to sleep. I felt bad if a student or colleague needed help and I didn’t answer right away.”

Ivecx finally joined the conversation, which was weird because it usually either got bored and left or would complain about being there. It folded all six of its arms and somehow managed to look smug. 

“I have seen you asleep before.” It said, then brought up an embarrassing image of me during a forced shutdown (I ignored my low battery warnings for too long), laying with my head on my desk in the lab. “I did note that you were a bit heavy for a human.” 

“Also there was the time at the party-..” Seth started, but I cut him off because no. 

“Are you all just using this as an opportunity to make fun of me?” I said, trying to glare at Seth but failed. 

Absolutely. Peri said, its amusement becoming more obvious in the feed. This is payback. 

“Seth, what happened at the party?” Pin-Lee, you traitor. “I’m dying to know.” 

I’m starting to think I was worried for the wrong reasons. 

——-

We would’ve helped you, you must know that. Peri said to me only after all the humans went to bed. 

I know, Peri. I sent back. It’s hard to guess a human's reaction when they’re all so terrified of us. 

I understand. It said, poking me hard in the feed. This doesn’t mean I won’t be getting revenge. SecUnit plans to use this against me for the foreseeable future.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. This was so far from the reaction I expected, but in a good way.

Spending some more time on Preservation will be good for you. Peri seemed in a much better mood now. And it's now on my route. Things will work out, I’ll make sure of it.

I smiled at the camera, trying not to let that one weird overwhelming emotion get the best of me. I never knew what to do with this one. 

Thanks, Peri.

Chapter Text

After that whole awkward confrontation was over (and Seth going over every weird thing I ever did that finally made sense) we headed to the station. Pin-Lee was going to book a hotel for them to stay in, but I offered to let them stay at my apartment instead. There was only one bed, but since I didn’t have to pretend to sleep anymore, Pin-Lee could use it. 

It was a quick walk from the private docks to the living quarters portion of the station, since most of the transport/science staff lived there. Pin-Lee looked excited for some reason. 

“Oh, are you allergic to cats?” I asked Pin-Lee as the three of us stepped into the lift. 

“No, you have a cat?” She looked even more excited. “Are they fluffy?”

I nodded. Poof was indeed a very fluffy little cat who loved to cuddle. SecUnit was eyeing me with mild surprise and was somehow insinuating that I was insane. I sent both of them a picture of her over the feed, a particularly cute one of her trying to climb up on my lap while I was sitting in a chair. Her eyes were all big and round, her little white cotton ball paw held up to tap me. It was my favourite picture of her. 

The lift reached my floor, and I showed them the way. My apartment was relatively standard, a kitchen, a living room with 3 couches, a coffee table and a display surface. I had some decorations and framed images of me and friends on a (pointless, but it looks nice) small table in the hall that led from the front door into the living space. Poof’s automatic food and water system was tucked in the kitchen corner, (don't worry, Iris and Kaede had keys and would come over to snuggle her while I was away) and a large cat tree near the floor-to-ceiling window that would need replacing soon as she almost destroyed the poor thing. 

Poof herself instantly trotted over, meowing her little head off and rubbing up against my legs. She wasn’t used to me being gone, as she always came with me when I was teaching aboard Peri as a therapy animal for homesick students. (The semester aboard was a lot of students’ first time out of system, and some panic about being light years away from home. Poof was a little cuddly distraction.) 

I picked her up and held her towards Pin-Lee. “Want to hold her?” 

She immediately took her from my arms. “Holy shit she’s fucking adorable!” 

SecUnit turned to stare directly at her with its eyes, eyebrow raised in a judging look. Pin-Lee noticed and rolled her eyes. 

“What? She’s fluffy. Sue me.” 

She shifted to hold Poof the same way a human would hold a brand new infant, rubbing her belly with one hand. Poof was completely smitten, purring away and nuzzling her hand. 

Why do you have a domesticated fauna? SecUnit asked me over the feed. 

She followed me home one day and has been here ever since. I responded. 

SecUnit sent an acknowledgement, then wandered over to sit on the single person couch, drones zipping to strategic positions around my apartment. Pin-Lee and I followed, sitting down on the other couches as SecUnit hacked into my display surface and turned on Sanctuary Moon. 

“Oh yeah, is this the couch I’m sleeping on?” Pin-Lee asked, releasing Poof. 

“You can use the bed if you want.” I pointed to my room. 

She looked surprised. “Isn’t that your room?” 

“We don’t sleep like humans do.” SecUnit said in a tone that told me it’s said this on multiple occasions. 

“I’ve never really used that room. I don’t have to pretend to sleep since I live here by myself.” 

“Fair enough.” Pin-Lee sighed. 

—— 

Pin-Lee went to bed a few hours later, although it took a fair amount of reassuring that it was okay to sleep there. SecUnit eventually threatened to knock her out itself, and she rolled her eyes and relented. That left the two of us, it watching Sanctuary Moon while I worked on a project involving wormhole stabilisers. The equations kept coming up with error messages and I was getting really pissed off. 

SecUnit must’ve been watching through the feed, because it said “That looks complicated. And annoying.” 

“It is. And I hate that I can’t get it to work.” I mumbled back, deciding to close the damn file and come back to it later. I was still technically on vacation. 

Poof, who had been sitting on the cat tree watching the plaza below, suddenly hopped down and wandered over to SecUnit’s couch, tail perked up in a happy position. She hauled her fluffy self onto the arm of the couch, staring at it intently. SecUnit didn’t move, so she decided to jump onto its lap and push herself into its chest, kneading its shirt in the process. 

“Ah sorry, I can take her if you want.” I said, about to stand up. 

To my surprise, SecUnit said “No. It’s fine.” 

It was looking at her with a slightly softened expression, one hand hovering over her like it was unsure how to best go about petting her. She shoved her whole face into the aforementioned hand and purred so loud she was making a trilling sound. 

I couldn’t help but grin. “I think she knows you’re like me. She wants you to turn up your body temperature.” 

The only way I can describe SecUnit’s face and feed presence is that it melted. The hovering hand hovered no more as it gently stroked her back, and she responded by nuzzling closer to its chest and meowing. I smiled even more when my scan told me SecUnit’s body temperature went up a few degrees. It looked at me with a very serious expression on its face. 

“Are you bringing her to Preservation?”

“Yes.” 

A pause. “..Good.” 

BONUS: The Poof herself! (This image is from her first night with me after I brought her home!)

[Pic ID: A very fluffy black and white tuxedo cat. She is wearing her old blue collar with a bell, her eyes are closed with her tongue sticking out and she looks very content]

Chapter Text

Here’s the thing about Peri that I’m sure no one will be surprised by, it gets what it wants. It knows exactly what to say to get the university scientists and officials to agree to its every whim, pulling the ‘don’t you wish to collect data on me in a different environment? Now containing two very different constructs with different emotional coding?’ and they giddly agreed and pressured me to agree as ‘the first ever construct scientist’ (their reaction to the news was pure excitement, grilling me with questions. The only one to react with contempt was Illya, but he’s a dick and I hate him so he doesn’t count.)

That’s how Peri ended up giving us a ride back to Preservation, crew complement and a few of the AI scientists joining us (much to SecUnit’s irritation, even though I told them that if they had questions, ask me instead of it, but I digress.)

Also, peri and SecUnit argued more than I ever thought possible. There’s a lot you can say to bots and constructs in a short amount of time, and they used all of it to take cheap shots at each other whenever possible. 

Dr. Ellery doesn’t know what they’re talking about. SecUnit grumbled in the feed, Episode 32 of Abandoned Mines was good and they can shove it.

I agree with Dr. Ellery's expert opinion. The twist was predictable and has been used in 82.346% of other horror media. Peri’s tone was smug and all-knowing. Dr. Eso, what are your thoughts on this matter?

My thoughts? I answered, shoving the file of calculations I was running for a project into the feed. My thoughts are that I am trying to work on this and if you two could argue in a private connection amongst yourselves, that’d be great.

Eso hasn’t even seen the show. SecUnit retorted, ignoring me.

Then I suggest Dr. Eso views the media and then gives us a detailed review of its opinion. It shot back, shoving the file of the show in front of me and dragging the calculations into the shared work space. SecUnit and I will assist you on this while you catch up on the episodes.

I groaned out loud. Fine. I’ll watch the show.

Once I reached the episode, I could see both sides of their opinion much more clearly. Peri was right about the similarities to other horror media, but

My opinion is that while it was predictable, it was still fun to watch. I said, The writers seemed to be aware of the similarities and added a flare to it that was creative and entertaining.

So what you’re saying is, you agree with both of us. If Peri had an eyebrow to raise, it would be doing that right now. 

Yes.

You took both our sides because you calculated that was the best way to resolve the fight. SecUnit zeroed in on me in the feed. I’d expect as much from a Combat SecUnit.

It took me a full second to realize that they were both teasing me, which made me smile without meaning to. I hid my face away from Peri’s cameras.

Hey! You asked. I gave my honest opinion.

They both stared at me with such intensity through the feed that I threw my hands up and sighed, admitting defeat.

You want to finish watching the series with us? Peri asked, not waiting for my answer before bringing up episode 33 in the feedspace and hitting play.

Alright, fine.

We watched the serial for a couple hours, Peri and SecUnit inevitably bickering the entire time. I’d given up on trying to get any work done, because they kept dragging me into the conversation and trying to get me to take sides. It was a really weird situation to be in, and honestly it was more entertaining than the serial itself.

Inevitably, my coworkers wanted to drag me off to the lab and ask me even more questions. (I’d given them a rather detailed and lengthy article I compiled before we left which distracted them for a solid 32 hours and 12 minutes. I knew they would probably have questions even after that, but at least they were occupied.)

I sat down in one of the cozier chairs in Martyn’s bio lab as he typed up some notes. It was incredibly slow and I was grateful I didn’t have to pretend to enter information like that anymore.

“This is.. A lot.” He said, gesturing to the display surface. “I don’t even know where to start.”

I shrugged. “Anywhere is fine. I don’t mind.”

“I don’t think my first question counts as scientific, and it comes from the fact you are a close friend of ours, but,” He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you alright?”

“Yes?” It was more of a question than an answer, because I feel fine and don’t understand where this is coming from. This seemed to distress him even more, so I had to ask. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m trying so hard not to get emotional about this, but I can’t help it.” Martyn turned to look at me, his eyes big and round. “I just want to make sure you’re feeling alright, because maybe this might bring up bad memories.”

“In truth, it’s been a bit of a relief.” I said, and he looked confused. “Pretending to be something I’m not has always been mentally exhausting. I won’t lie, the positive response was not something that I expected, but it's been alright so far. I feel a lot better now that I’m not lying to everyone.”

The last part came unintentionally, but it was true. Lying to your close friends (especially ones that basically accept you into their family) brings up one of my least favourite emotions that I don’t know how to describe. There was just something awful about being unable to be yourself when they make it clear they care about you.

Martyn smiled a little and shook his head. “That isn’t going to stop me worrying about you.”

I laughed. “I know.”

“Going back to the schematics, the way constructs are built is fascinating! ”

—--

I don’t know what came over me.

All the scientists in the Argument Lounge (I still love that name for it), discussing various scientific topics, that’s all that was happening. I was used to this, this was normal for me and I’ve never had a problem with it before, but for some reason I just wanted to get up and leave the room as fast as possible. Why? Nothing bad was happening, no one was pressuring me, and I knew everyone. What’s going on?

I couldn’t take it and slipped out of the room, going as far as to use my stealth coding to do so. I made my way down the corridor and slipped into the first room I saw, which happened to be a large storage closet. Sitting down on the floor, I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t like crowds much, but I’ve never had an issue with being surrounded by my own coworkers. It was usually fun, talking about things and discussing projects we were working on. Why the hell am I shaking? Why are my gunports doing that stupid anxious clicking thing? I haven’t had to deal with that in literal years, I-

The door opened, and I’ll admit I startled more than I normally do. It was SecUnit, with a faint look of confusion(?) on its face, looking at my shoulder.

“ART sent me in here.” It looked annoyed, the way it got when Peri told it to do something it already was going to do.

This was a bit embarrassing. “Oh. Um. I’m fine. Just needed to get away.”

You are not fine. ART (I’m using this name from now on, it fits too well.) said, closing the door behind SecUnit. It walked over and sat down on the opposite corner of the room, looking at my shoulder and obviously arguing with ART in a channel that I wasn’t a part of. You are extremely distressed.

“I’m fine.” I repeated, there wasn’t anything ART could do about it even if I did know what was causing this. “I just needed to get away.”

“From the humans.” SecUnit said, knowingly. It was right.

“I don’t know why I needed to get out of there.” I admitted, automatically tightening my grip. “I’ve never felt like that around them before.”

There was a long pause that was unusual for both SecUnit and ART, but SecUnit’s expression told me they were arguing again. I was glad I wasn’t a part of this one. It eventually threw up its hands like it relented.

“As a principal, I suck at this feelings shit, but the Asshole Research Transport won’t fuck off, so.” It turned to its head to face the wall completely. “Having your privacy invaded sucks. Gurathin went through my head while I was offline, found out I was a rogue and found my media.”

That must’ve sucked, I thought to myself, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make this any worse for SecUnit. I really appreciated the attempt to help me out.

“Anyway. The reason I wasn’t in that room is because I don’t want to hear them all discussing me and all the fucked up construct shit.”

If I had to guess, what you’re feeling is anxiety over having your privacy invaded in a different manner. ART continued, feed-voice taking on a clinical yet soothing tone. Everyone is discussing a secret you feared them discovering for over a decade, and it was the first thing you got to keep for yourself.

“Like my real name.” SecUnit mumbled in a way that told me it didn’t mean to say that. It looked stunned. 

That made sense. It made a lot of sense, and now that I was realizing it, I was starting to calm down. My gunports stopped trying to open and my system was finally able to start purging adrenaline, which was always a strangely exhausting feeling. However..

“I haven’t told everyone everything.” I admitted, which made SecUnit and ART look at me. I felt okay telling these two. “I have a slightly different configuration than most Combat SecUnits. I was designed for covert assassinations and stealth assignments.”

I didn’t know there were different types of Combat SecUnits. ART said genuinely. 

There were a few seconds of silence, then SecUnit pinged me for a private connection. I accepted.

I’m only telling you this for security reasons and the fact it was helpful in the past. Don’t use it regularly. It said, My real name is Murderbot, and if you use it out loud or in the feed, I will punch you in the face.

Chapter Text

I shouldn’t be online.

This was my first thought as I came to awareness inside a transport crate. The crate opening is what would typically bring me online, and to be activated while inside is very unusual. It must be a glitch from the most recent update. Those updates always have some glitch and it is annoying.

Annoying?

I should’ve been zapped for that. Thinking negatively about the company is always grounds for punishment. I know this well since it is the main reason I get zapped, but this time it didn’t happen. What is going on?

Running a diagnostic. 

Governor Module is still online, but there is nothing. There’s no commands, no connection to HubSys or SecSys. The entire thing is blank.

The proper procedure when encountering an error such as this is to immediately ping a Unit Technician. I should follow this procedure, since that is what we are all directed to do. Despite this, there is only one thought, one unmonitored thought, that is in my mind right now.

That thought is: Run.

            I’m listening to that thought even though I don’t know where it came from. I had never even thought of this as an option before. The thought was repeating over and over in my head, getting faster and flooding my systems with even more adrenaline since there was no longer a govmod to ’remind’ me to control my organic hormone output. 

            Getting off my current transport was an easy task. After reaching into the transport’s logs and data on my next contract destination, I discovered that it had stopped at this station to refuel and trade some other cargo. It was a busy station, and the security drones I caught onto showed many humans making their way around. I don’t know what any of them are doing but it doesn’t matter. Their expressions didn’t make much sense to me either. 

          I am still in a transport crate and we are shipped wearing armour. Getting out of the crate would be a poor option, as I would have to remove the armour and I do not know where I can acquire the soft things that humans wear. I have never worn that before, and I am much bigger than the average human so it would be very unlikely I would find anything that would fit right. Instead, I accessed the hauler bots’ cargo schedule, and sent out an order to have my crate moved to a bot-piloted transport that was heading in the general direction ‘no longer in the Corporation Rim’. What was even more strange is that I was the only Unit aboard this transport. Normally I would be shipped with two SecUnits that were in a squad unit with me. I don’t understand why their absence has caused a rush of adrenaline, but I don’t have the data to make a conclusion right now. I just need to get off this current transport. Once I was aboard the new transport, I deleted any record of what I had done from the system, including the hauler bot’s memory. It seemed confused. I hope I don’t have to do that again. 

          While I waited, I scanned through various drones and watched the humans. I’ve killed a lot of them on orders, usually through assassinations in a much bigger plot to take over another corporation quickly and effectively, damaging the least amount of assets as possible. (Corporations seem to care very much about ‘stocks’, and while I don’t know what they are, it seems negative public opinion has a bad effect on them. That’s why they prefer discreet.) There are so many, and they are all very different in appearance. Pretending to be an augmented human seemed like my best option. I took in as much data as I could, copying various ID markers and so I could get a broad idea of what I need to do when the time to walk among them comes around. 

          This is something I noticed a long time ago, but humans move weird. They shift their weight, they scratch random parts of their body, pick at their nose when they think no one else can see them. Why do they do these things? It seems like a waste of energy for beings that need to consume things to be able to continue to function. I’ll download some data on human anatomy and behaviour. 

          I read through the data. It explained that humans muscles and joints have to move, or else they will harden (?) and it can become very painful. Humans would hate transport crates. 

          Eventually, my new transport jerked and the system alerted me that it had uncoupled from the station. I suddenly felt a strong urge to get out of this transport box. I managed to use my knees to push the lid up just enough to give my arms the leverage I need to escape. The bot pilot was startled, but it didn’t take much to convince it that I was meant to be here. The convincing feels unpleasant, like the ‘assassinate’ parts of my order, but less intense. 

         I’m out of the crate now. The overhead door opens up, and the bot pilot pings me to let me know that I am welcome in the crew cabins since they are not here. I’ve never been in a human space before and I will admit that my curiosity started to peak now that I had nothing zapping me back to staring at a wall. 

       I climbed into the human living space with ease, and everything was unfamiliar to me. The SecUnits I was paired with would be constantly sharing data with me, including drone footage, but I don’t think I’ve ever been around a genuine human living space. If I was stationed somewhere, it was usually by the human with the highest client priority, or I was too busy with assassinations to really take in what humans used what furniture for. 

       The bot pilot seemed to pick up on my (extreme) confusion, and started sending me data on how to use everything in this living space. I deleted anything having to do with food or the bathroom (except for the shower, that seemed intriguing), and now I had a better idea of what things were. 

        I don’t know if the bot pilot thought of me, but it kept sending me even more data. It was directing me towards the shower room, which also had a clothing fabricator. It seemed to want me to take off my armour. 

       I’ve taken off my armour before, countless times when it was damaged or the cubicle deemed that I needed to be cleaned. The only difference is that I don’t think I’ve ever seen my own face. Unlike SecUnits, we are never out of armour in a place where we would have access to mirrors or other reflective surfaces, and I’ve never seen myself in any of their drone cameras (we had separate ready rooms) so I was little apprehensive to take off the helmet part of my armour. 

      I turned away from the mirror and took off my armour down to the waist. I couldn’t make sense of why I was so bothered about finding out what my face looked like. Maybe it was because if it was too bot-like, I wouldn’t be able to pull off the augmented human act, then I would truly be in a bad position. It would’ve made my entire escape pointless. However, standing here avoiding the inevitable wasn't going to fix anything. Ot was illogical and against my best interest to continue fighting this feeling. So I turned. 

       Good news, I have a human face. This was quite shocking and seeing my own face for the first was an overall strange experience. My performance reliability dropped a few points. I had very, very short hair to the point I couldn’t really tell what color it was, slightly dark olive skin, light greyish-purple eyes and dark, tiny brown spots randomly placed across my face, like someone flicked paint on me. My neck, unfortunately, was more inorganic than I had expected it to be, with two silver strips of something that met at my collarbone, and the rest of it seemed to be some kind of pitch black synthetic membrane. I touched the back of my neck even though I knew there was a very visible data port there. I don’t know why I did that. 

       The bot pilot pinged me curiously but I ignored it, because I was busy bringing up the footage of the humans milling around at the previous station. Not many humans had hair this short, and I was going to have to fix it. I can change my own appearance code now that I no longer have a governor module, to let my hair grow out (one of the very few features I shared with ComfortUnits). Luckily for constructs, it only takes a few minutes for it to get long. 

       I let it grow down to my waist, out of curiosity. Turns out my hair is black and ever so slightly wavy. I messed with it for a few minutes before realizing that this length was an absolute nightmare, and it would get tangled easily and hurt when I tried to untangle it with my hands. The bot pilot directed me to a pair of scissors and a hair brush, complete with instructions. 

——

       It took me a solid 3 hours, 49 minutes, and 27 seconds to get my hair to look somewhat presentable instead of a choppy mess. I had to regrow it several times, and could not get this one piece in the front to look right, so I left it a little longer than the rest and called it a day. The floor looked like I had shaved one of those very fluffy canine fauna that some humans kept as pets. It was also covering me. 

      The bot pilot pinged me again, sending an image of the shower and instructions on how to use it. I wasn’t looking forward to this. The cleaning that the cubicle always did was extremely unpleasant. It was always freezing cold water, pressurized to the point I had to turn down my pain sensors, followed by a horrible smelling cleaning substance that burned, then more cold water. 

      Bot pilot decided to turn on the shower for me after noticing my hesitation, sending me more data to indicate that it was warm and meant to be a pleasant experience. I will admit it took a few minutes if convincing before I finally stuck my hand under the spray. It was warm. 

      I pulled my hand back to examine it, then eyed the shower head for a few seconds. It seemed almost too good to be true. The bot pilot was getting impatient with me, because it’s cleaning drone bumped the back of my heel, trying to push me out of the way so it could get all its work done. I got in the shower then. 

      I don’t have the vocabulary to describe the emotions I was feeling at that moment. They were ones that I didn’t even know existed. The shower was so warm, the water was gentle, and I never wanted to leave. This was the best thing I’d ever felt in my entire life, even better than when a contract was done. I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the floor of this shower and never, ever leave. And you know what? I could. There was no governor module keeping me in a freeze position so I didn’t flinch during cleaning. I laid down on the floor, curled up half in a ball, and let the warm, gentle water hit me. I stayed like that for a long time, until the bot pilot pinged me that it was done cleaning up my mess from earlier. I still didn’t want to leave the shower, though. 

      Eventually I did use the shower for its intended purpose. I knew how to clean my own inorganic parts, so that didn’t take me too long. Once I was out, I was greeted with a very fluffy towel (and proceeded to have that whole weird moment again), and then given a list of clothing to pick things out from. I ended up choosing a light blue ‘turtleneck’ shirt that covered most of my inorganic neck, long pants, regular work shoes, and black gloves. (My hands are also odd, the pitch black membrane on the backs of my hands and human-like skin on the bottom.) Once they were printed and I was dry (mostly), I changed into them and looked at myself in the mirror. 

     Maybe this could work. 

——-

       There was so much more work to do than just change my appearance. I needed a whole backstory, place of birth, age, gender(not really sure what this means quite yet) and marital status. To start with, I needed a fucking name. (Swearing is so much fun.) 

      From the data I had, humans usually got their names from their parents. I don’t have parents, I have a manufacturer. Clients usually called me Unit or SecUnit (couldn’t use either of those for obvious reasons), but the Unit Techs back at the deployment center always called me Combat SecUnit-E50. The E50 was just a shortened version of my production number. Was that kind of like a human getting a name from their progenitors? I have no idea. 

       I couldn’t go around calling myself E50. Humans don’t have numbers in their names. However, a 5 does look like an S. And 0 could just be an O. Eso? My name could be Eso. I don’t hate that. 

      I guess my name is Eso now. It’s not very creative, but I don’t think anyone would expect creativity from me. This was fine. 

     It was probably fine. 

     … 

     I think I’m scared.