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She didn’t remember her first death.
Kaelio, The Tarnished, certainly remembered all the others.
She remembered dying the first (second) time, she got cocky and walked into a fight that she had no business being in. She could have just walked out the door. It’d been right there, but that dan spirit! It had taunted her! Sent her hurtling downwards into an abyss that she had no knowledge of, no prior remembrance of. Kaelio supposed that was just a side affect of dying so often, so frequently. She couldn’t let herself become melancholy.
That was what led to death number two (three). Melancholic musings of how she could just run. Run past the knight. Run past those that would kill her just for exisiting in their presence So what if she had lost the golden gleam from her eye? The residents of the Land in Between no longer had it either, so why punish her for something far out of her control? Something that had happened in a long distant past?
Fourth (fifth) death occurred because she had rushed in, underestimating the reach of the sword that had mercilessly swung at her time and time again.
She managed to avoid a fifth (sixth) death to the knight, who fell to blade and sorcery. Fifth times the charm right?
Wrong.
The Tree Sentinel who came out of nowhere after the snarky white-faced man had insulted and ridiculed her for something that was, again, out of her control. And don't get her started on the Beastman of Farum Azula; one unexpected hit and she was gone. She had fared better against the wolves in the cave
Kaelio resolved to get better, especially since she distrusted the supposed maiden that had appeared that one night that felt so long ago. Melina frightened her, but her help was needed and appreciated.
She just wanted to be able to go a single day without meeting a grizzly end by the hands of one enemy or another.
Kaelio didn't even want the Elden Ring.
She just wanted to live.