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Of Devil Cats And Big Dogs
Alec Lightwood was not a cat person.
It wasn’t like he hated them, or was allergic.
He certainly didn’t carry a deeply ingrained fear of them, born from an incident in early childhood where one chased him around a lake, as was the case for his best friend Jace where ducks were concerned. (And also the reason why Jace got at least one rubber duckie every year for his birthday.)
He admired a cat’s natural grace and stealth and appreciated the skills of these born predators, that aided them in their efforts in pest control.
He could even admit to them possessing a level of beauty, and he would be lying if he said he had never secretly cooed over one of the endless cat videos on the internet that Izzy, for some reason, saw fit to send to him whenever it pleased her.
Cats were alright in Alec’s book, but simply nothing more.
As far as pet ownership went, Alec had rather envisioned himself one day having a dog.
Alec liked dogs.
They were loyal, protective, loving, smart, active, playful… The list went on.
He had very fond memories of the times when he was a kid and had earned some money by taking the dogs in the neighborhood for walks. He had always been able to keep them in line, even when some of the dogs had been bigger than he himself back then.
(Until he hit his growth spurt at age 16, he had been the shortest boy in his class. Jace had liked to tease him about it as a kid, but Alec had paid that teasing back, with interest, the moment he towered over his best friend.)
Dogs were great, and Alec especially liked the big breeds.
So if one wanted to put a label on things, Alec could confidently claim to be a dog person.
Which is why he just could not understand how his sister had convinced him to take care of a cat.
Well, it might be due to the fact that there hadn’t been a lot of “convincing” on her part, as she had pretty much shoved it at him, a little more than twenty minutes ago.
Fifteen of which he had spent sitting on his couch, staring at said cat where it sat right across from him on his coffee table, contemplating how exactly things had gone down.
(The cat had been alternating between staring back and cleaning itself for those fifteen minutes, and Alec wasn’t sure if that was a good sign, or a bad one.)
The hurricane that was his sister had blown through Alec's door on his previously much-anticipated day off, arms laden with a cat carrier and an enormous bag of supplies. Talking a mile a minute, she had shoved the latter hurriedly into his stunned hands and set the carrier down to release the animal from its imprisonment, lastly added that his name was Lucifer, and was gone again all before he could so much as get a word out.
As he watched the cat groom itself, (though still staying put on his coffee table, apparently no inclinations about exploring the apartment further for now, or until this weird stand-off between them was done with), Alec once more tried recalling what exactly Izzy had said in her haste of saddling him with a cat. (And seriously. How the fuck had he let that just happen?)
He was pretty sure he remembered something about her landlord being an “absolute Grinch on a power trip, holding my lease agreement over me like that. Just because it says ‘no pets allowed’, should not mean that I can’t have nice things!”. Then there had been something about “Don’t worry, he is an absolute sweetheart. Super friendly and cuddly. The most adorable and beautiful cat you will ever know. Aren’t you, baby? Yes you are. You be nice to uncle Alec, my sweet.”
Izzy had said more, but it seemed his brain had gone into standby mode at some point as some kind of self-preservative measure.
So, after mentally revisiting what had happened and cataloging the evidence, Alec had to face the truth.
He was going to have to foster Izzy’s cat until Izzy either moved into another, pet-friendly apartment (which was unlikely because her apartment was not only in a very convenient location for her, but also pretty cheap and rent-controlled, and she would be absolutely crazy to give that up), or until the cat died of old age.
He sighed deeply.
“Okay, seems like I have a cat now.” He got up from his seat and approached the cat, who was eyeing his progress with a keen focus.
“Izzy named you Lucifer?” He crouched down and extended his hand to scratch the top of his new roommate’s head. “Hope that’s not indicative of your personality.”
As it turned out, it absolutely was.
Magnus Bane was not a dog person.
And no, it had nothing to do with any kind of lingering animosity he carried for that vicious little chihuahua that his ex-lover Camille had always carried around with her, no matter what Raphael claimed. (That thing had been a goddamn vampire dog! Sharp little teeth and a mean attitude included.)
Dogs were fine. They made for nice companions and were completely acceptable overall.
But they just couldn’t hold a candle to cats.
Now cats, they were magnificent.
Curious, agile, graceful, clever, mysterious, beautiful,.. the list went on.
Yes, Magnus quite liked cats. And though he did hold a certain fondness for dogs (except Camille’s little carpet rat, which was a bloodthirsty little nuisance), if it ever came to a point where he would be looking at pet acquisition, his choice would be a cat.
At least these were the thoughts running through his mind, as he was looking at the huge, dark, enormous, tail wagging, imposing, tongue lolling, really big dog sitting before him.
The dog, (which he had been informed was a Great Dane, and what an absolutely aptly named breed this was. Had he mentioned that it was really big?), was happily looking back at Magnus, possibly thinking this to be a fun game.
.. Or not. Magnus had no clue about what dogs thought about things. Because as previously stated, Magnus Bane wasn’t a dog person.
And while he usually was quite comfortable blaming all the weird or inconvenient things in his life on Ragnor (and the old coot deserved at least 50% of that blame!... Okay, maybe it was closer to 35%, but that wouldn’t deter Magnus.), this time, he truly could only blame himself and his soft heart.
Madzie’s class had visited an animal shelter in the city for their field trip. (Something not even Catarina had been able to tell him the reasoning behind, but who was he to question the American education system), and there the group of very impressionable, highly emotional seven-year-old kids had learned that some dogs that were brought to the shelter, sadly never found anyone willing to adopt them and had to be euthanized.
Magnus guessed that the shelter manager (or whoever had been showing the class around), had wanted to impress upon the children the responsibility and long-term commitment that came with owning a pet.
And it had certainly left an impression with his honorary niece, who had dragged Magnus to that very same shelter the next day, and all but demanded he adopt this particular dog.
“People buy them as puppies and don’t think about how big they will get when they grow up, and then they just give them up, Uncle Magnus! And then other people won’t adopt them because they don’t have space for such a big dog, and then many other people come and bring their pets to the shelter, and then there is not enough space for all the dogs, and then the dogs that won’t get adopted are killed! And that’s not fair, Uncle Magnus! It’s not the dog’s fault for being big! But you have a big apartment, and the dog will fit, and maybe he can help you find a good boyfriend or girlfriend, because dogs are supposed to have really good instincts when it comes to people and Uncle Ragnor said that you don’t have any.”
(… On second thought, yeah, he could totally blame this whole thing on Ragnor!)
Anyway, how could he have possibly said no after all of that?
So papers had been signed, adoption fees had been paid, and after Madzie had hugged the stuffing out of both him and the dog (“His name is Cupcake, Uncle Magnus! Isn’t that perfect? You like giving people names like that! It’s like he was made for you!”) , the dog; Cupcake, had come home with him. (Well, after one quick trip to the pet store to get the necessary food and equipment.)
And now here he was. Magnus Bane, the new owner of a really big dog that he had only the most basic idea of what to do with.
(He wasn’t a complete moron, of course, and had purchased a guidebook for new dog owners along with the other things for Cupcake. But it would probably take a few days for him to read it, and until then, he was pretty much flying by the seam of his pants. Raphael would probably say that this was just par of the course for Magnus, and then that little shit would laugh at him.)
Realizing that this accidental staring contest had gone on for several minutes now, Magnus quickly clapped his hands together, causing the dog to stand up and look at him expectedly, tail wagging even harder than before.
“Alright, Cupcake. How about we take a little stroll through the park?”
He had both a collar and leash for the dog. It couldn’t be that hard to go for a walk, right?
As it turned out, it absolutely was.
Alec was not ashamed to admit that he had fled his apartment like a bat out of hell. Well, not as long as he didn’t have to admit it to anyone else, at least.
That cat was a menace. An absolute terror. A wild beast in the guise of a domesticated feline.
His scratched-up arms bore testament to that.
And since his apartment had now apparently become the domain of the prince of hell (Lucifer indeed!), Alec was aimlessly wandering around a nearby park, hoping to come up with a strategy to avoid getting cut to ribbons upon entering his living room.
He knew what he would do if he needed to calm down a territorial or aggressive dog, but he somehow doubted the same methods would work on Lucifer.
He was contemplating if it was worth his sister’s relentless teasing (which both his brothers would eventually get in on as well), to call Izzy to come over later and tame her demonic spawn down enough to at least let Alec co-exist with him in his own apartment, when his attention was suddenly caught by frantic yelling.
“Cupcake, no, slow down! Wait! Not so fast! Why are you so freaking strong?! Watch out up ahead!”
He turned just in time to see a huge, black dog (a Great Dane; a majestic breed if anyone asked Alec), running right at him, as well as the screaming man who was frantically trying to reign the dog in and not fall flat on his face while being dragged by (his?) dog.
Alec's reaction was fast and instinctive.
He took a quick step to the side and out of the dog’s direct path, then shot out his hand to grab hold of the dog’s collar while he braced himself, and swung out his other arm to wrap around the waist of the poor man that was about to crash into them from all the built-up momentum.
A second to adjust his stance, another to firm his grip around the collar, and then he let out a sharp whistle that brought the dog to stand at attention almost instantly, and made him look up directly at Alec.
He smiled at the dog. “That’s a good boy. Now, sit.”
The dog did, tongue lolling and looking up at him expectantly. Alec nodded in praise, pitching his voice in the way he knew worked well in communicating that the dog had done well.
“Very good.” He loosened his hold on the collar to scratch the excited dog behind the ears. “Well done. Stay.”
He quickly stuffed his hand into his jacket pocket, fishing out a stripe of the beef jerky he had gotten himself a few minutes ago to snack on, and fed it to the completely delighted dog.
“There you go. Good boy.”
“Oh wow.”
The voice both startled Alec and also reminded him of the fact that he was still holding another man pressed to his side.
He silently berated himself for getting so lost in his interaction with the dog, that he would forget that he was literally holding a stranger in his arm. (He blamed part of this on the dog, though. Anyone would have fallen for the shiny black coat and the way he had so attentively stared up at Alec. The dog had simply mesmerized him.)
As it turned out, the dog and his owner had that in common. This ability to entrance Alec, that is.
His plan for quickly and as gracefully as possible straightening up and releasing the other man from his grasp had been thwarted the second he had laid eyes on him.
‘Oh wow’, indeed.
Asian features, styled, black hair with streaks of red in it. Soft looking, caramel-colored skin, and deep, dark brown eyes that seemed to have a golden shine to them. Though that could be a combination of the bright sunlight and the glittery eyeshadow.
Alec had never thought he would find men in makeup particularly attractive, but this man… This man was gorgeous.
Utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous.
He was a little shorter than Alec, though that might be because of how the other man was kind of leaning against Alec since Alec still had his arm around his waist.
… ALEC STILL HAD AN ARM AROUND HIS WAIST!
He hastily let go and took a step back. He could feel a blush taking over his face immediately, and only hoped that it hadn’t reached lobster red just yet.
“I’m so sorry!” He apologized quickly, trying to both look and not look at the other man. (The utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous man)
“I assure you, no apology is necessary. I would never object to being saved by someone as beautifully handsome as you.”
Lobster red had definitely been reached now.
“And speaking of which, I believe I owe you my thanks.”
His voice was gorgeous, too. Could voices even be called gorgeous? Alec didn’t care. The utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous man had a gorgeous voice. Smooth, but with a slightly dark timbre.
“Tha-that’s not necessary.” He cursed himself for the stutter. Why did he have to be so awkward?
But utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous man (he probably needed to find an acronym for that… ubsg? No, that sounded stupid.), just smiled brightly at him.
“I’m Magnus, by the way.”
(Or a name. A name worked, too. Utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous man, aka Magnus.)
Magnus.
What an unusual name. But the more he looked at him, the more it seemed to fit. And he was looking at Magnus a lot. And Magnus was looking back at him as well. Expectantly. Waiting… Oh right!
“Alec! I… My name is Alec.”
Magnus smiled wider. “Alec. That wouldn’t happen to be short for Alexander, would it?”
Alec had never liked it when people called him by his full name. But it sounded somehow different when Magnus said it. Like it was special. He liked it. He liked it a lot.
“Yeah. Yeah, that uhm… that’s right.” He answered awkwardly. Because apparently while Magnus’s name stood for being utterly, breathtakingly, stupidly gorgeous, Alec’s name stood for being awkward.
Thankfully Magnus didn’t seem to let Alec’s awkwardness sully his mood, as he just kept smiling as if Alec hadn’t been bumbling his words like a fool.
But just as Magnus opened his mouth to continue their conversation, his dog decided that he had been a good boy for long enough, and with a playful bark, tackled Magnus to the floor.
“Whoa!”
“Magnus!”
“Stop! Don’t lick my face! You are going to make me look like I had a bad breakup!”
It took a few seconds for Alec to wrestle the over-excited dog off Magnus, who thankfully didn’t seem to be hurt and was laughing while trying to keep the big dog from smudging his makeup.
When Alec finally got the big dog under control, Magnus set up with a deep breath.
“Why don’t I formally introduce you. Alexander, this is Cupcake. My new dog, who I have no idea how to handle, as you have doubtlessly noticed.”
Hearing Magnus say his full name was doing funny things to the butterflies currently running rampage in his stomach. So before he could start stuttering again, he reached down to offer a hand up. Which Magnus took gratefully.
“Well, Great Danes can be a handful, since they are so big and strong. But they aren’t hard to train if you know what you are doing.”
He had meant to sound reassuring, but Magnus just sighed despondently. “Which I clearly don’t.”
“I could give you some tips!” Alec all but shouted in his haste to wipe the sad look off Magnus’ face.
It had the desired effect, as Magnus look up at him with a cautiously happy expression.
“You would do that? I wouldn’t want to be an imposition.”
He shook his head. “It’s no problem. I like dogs, and I would love you.” His eyes widened in shock. “TO! I would love to help you. With Cupcake. Your dog.” Why was there never a hole to swallow him when he needed it to?
But once again Magnus seemed to just take Alec’s awkwardness in stride and chuckled softly. “Well, in that case, I would love to take you up on that offer. How about I buy you a drink? I know a lovely little cafe close by that has outdoor seating. We could plan our first date. … For you to give me those tips. For Cupcake. My dog.”
Was it just Alec’s imagination, or was Magnus flustered? If so, he still had nothing on Alec, though.
“Yeah, that would,.. that would be nice.”
**an undetermined amount of time later**
Alec Lightwood was not a cat person, and Lucifer, the cat that his sister had pretty much bowled him over with, was very clearly not an Alec person.
But that was okay. Because Alec’s boyfriend was absolutely a cat person, and thanks to his magic touch (and Alec might have made his siblings a little sick by going on and on about how magical Magnus was), the demonic hellspawn no longer planned Alec’s murder. (Though he might be trying to make Alec jealous, considering how he liked to cuddle up with Magnus whenever he and Alec were watching a movie together. Or trying for anything more intimate while in Lucifer's general proximity. That cat was the biggest cockblock there was.)
Magnus Bane was not a dog person, and Cupcake, the big, gigantic, huge dog that his niece had emotionally manipulated him into adopting, had been an enormous challenge for him, that he had found himself ill-equipped for.
But that was okay. Because Magnus’ boyfriend was not only handsome and smart and strong and adorable and (“We get it, Magnus! Your precious Alexander is an angel beyond compare and you want to have his babies. Can we please move on to other matters now?” - he might have gushed a lot to his friends about Alec. But he wouldn’t let Ragnor's and Raphael’s sourpuss tendencies deter him. They were just jealous.), he also was a secret dog whisperer.
And thanks to Alexander, Cupcake no longer took him for any unwanted joyrides whenever they went for a walk, and also had stopped chewing up Magnus’ shoes. (Something that Magnus had felt his boyfriend definitely deserved a reward for. In the bedroom.)
When they moved in together, their biggest worry had been whether the cat and dog would get along. (And Alec had had serious doubts about Lucifer in particular.)
But as it turned out, their worry had been for nothing. All it had taken was one, rather short, staring contest for Lucifer to establish his dominance, while Cupcake was apparently just happy to have a furry friend. Even if that furry friend tended to occasionally sit on him.
Izzy liked to remind her brother that it was thanks to her and her genius cat (who was more Magnus’ cat now, even though Izzy liked to deny it), that Alec got to know the love of his life.
Magnus had no problem giving Madzie credit for making him adopt Cupcake, and had already rewarded her with lots of Disney movie marathons (the songs had been stuck in Alec’s head for days, and he even found himself humming some of the really catchy ones while in the shower. Which often led to Magnus joining him, because he could never resist a wet and happily humming Alec.)
A cat had never been on Alec's list for the perfect pet.
A dog had never been on Magnus’ list for the perfect pet.
But a cat and a dog had ended up being the perfect pets for Alec and Magnus.
The End.