Chapter Text
Kenny opened his eyes. He was back in his room, just like he always was whenever he died. This time it had been a speeding car, probably being driven by some drunk, that caused his demise. Part of Kenny was annoyed at how mundane this death had been but then again considering some of the death he’s had in the past it could have been worse.
Sitting up the blonde teen picked up his phone that he kept next to him while he slept. Checking the time he realized he had to leave now unless he wanted to be late for school. Normally Kenny wouldn’t care but Kyle’s been getting on his case more and more about studying and not being late to class. Kenny loved his boyfriend but he really didn’t feel like getting a lecture today. Besides, by actually making it in time to catch the bus Kenny would be able to see his boyfriends before class started.
About 6 months ago Stan, Kyle, and Kenny had started dating. Kenny had been initially shocked when Stan and Kyle asked him if he wanted to be their boyfriend. He always had a feeling even when they were kids that Stan and Kyle would end up together but he never pictured himself dating not one, but both of them. Turns out while they loved each other they also both loved him and luckily he loved them back. When he was 13 started developing feelings for his two best friends and realized that he was bisexual. He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming when the initial shock of being asked to be a part of their relationship had worn off.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts Kenny rolled out of bed. Luckily he was already dressed due to dying so that was one less thing to worry about. The downside is because he had gotten up so late he wouldn’t have time for breakfast, not that he really considered 1 non-toasted pop tart a breakfast but it was better than nothing.
The house was surprisingly quiet for once. Kenny figured it was probably because his parents were still asleep or they’d be screaming at each other by now. Slinging his backpack on his shoulder Kenny headed out the door. Approaching the bus stop he could see Cartman and Kyle already arguing while Stan mindless tapped on his phone trying to ignore them.
“Hey guys,” Kenny greeted, taking his usual spot standing next to Stan. Instead of greeting him back like they normally would, the others at the bus stop stared at him with confusion.
“Uh, hey…kid,” Stan responded, sounding unsure.
“Who the hell are you?” Cartman asked, his tone rude as always.
Now it was Kenny’s turn to be confused, “What are you talking about? It’s me, Kenny!”
“Ugh, I can’t understand you with that stupid parka muffling everything you say!”
Kenny, fed up with Cartman’s attempt at a joke, turned his attention towards Stan.
“What’s his fucking problem?”
Instead of responding Stan, Kyle, and Cartman all exchanged confused looks.
“I’m sorry but, do we know you?” Kyle asked.
Now Kenny was confused. What was going on? Why were Kyle and Stan acting like they didn’t know him?
“Come on guys, it’s me, Kenny. Don’t tell me you’re in on Cartman’s dumb joke.”
“Hey, how the fuck did you know my name you fucking hobo!”
“I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before in my life,” Kyle responded. He at least had the decency to sound apologetic.
Now Kenny was starting to feel annoyed. Before he could continue to claim who he was and that they should know him the bus showed up. Figuring any further arguments would fall to deaf ears Kenny pushed the emotions of hurt and agitation he was feeling down and boarded the vehicle.
Normally Kenny would sit next to his boyfriends or Cartman on the bus. Today after what had just happened he felt too annoyed. If they wanted to pretend they didn’t know him, fine, then he would just sit alone!
Kenny ignored Cartman’s comment to the others that, ‘that guy is fucking weird’ as he made his way to an empty seat in the back. When they got to school Kenny walked over to his locker and began taking books out. He just wanted to avoid Stan, Kyle, and Cartman right now. If they wanted to pretend he never existed then he’d just ignore them until they gave up their stupid game. Unfortunately for Kenny, his locker was right next to Stan, Kyle, and Cartman’s lockers so he couldn’t completely avoid them.
Opening his locker Kenny let out a disgruntled, “What the fuck!?”
His locker was completely empty! His books, school supplies, pictures of friends, porn magazines, all gone!
“Hey fellas!” He heard Butters greet. Kenny turned around.
“Butters! All my stuff in my locker is gone! Did you see anyone go in my locker?”
Butters instead of responding like Kenny hoped he would, looked just as confused as his friends did earlier.
“Oh, hamburgers! I’m sorry to hear about that fella, how did you know my name? Are you a new student?”
Kenny blinked a couple of times. Even Butters was in on this stupid joke!
“No, not you too!”
“Just ignore him, Butters. That guy’s a fucking psycho,” said Cartman. He, Stan, and Kyle were watching the scene unfolding before them. Stan and Kyle’s faces held a mixture of concern and confusion.
Kenny not knowing what to say just slammed his locker door shut and stormed off. What the actual fuck! What the hell had he done to piss Stan and Kyle off enough to go along with this? He decided to head to the bathroom to calm down before class. He heard the first bell go off meaning he had 5 minutes to get to class or else he’d be marked late. Part of him was tempted to just skip and go home. It was only the morning and he was already so done with today. Kyle was in his first-period Science class however and he knew that if he skipped again he’d get nagged at. At least then Kyle wouldn’t be able to treat him like a stranger…
When Kenny walked through the door to his Science class Kyle was already reading a book. Some kid from the class was sitting in his seat next to Kyle. Fine, whatever, he didn’t care anymore. He plopped down in a random seat and hoped nobody would bother him.
“Good morning class!” The science teacher chirped as she walked into the room. How she could be so perky at the ungodly hour of 8:30 am no one knew. Her eyes swept around the classroom before landing on Kenny.
‘Shit!’ Kenny thought to himself. Was he in trouble? What had he done this time?
“It seems we have a new student in the class!” The teacher announced. Kenny looked around, wondering who Mrs. Whatsherface was referring to only to realize she was referring to him.
Oh no.
“Why don’t you stand up and introduce yourself to the class sweetie,” Mrs. Whatsherface said.
Kenny felt his heart stop. Like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. Kenny stood up, trying to stop himself from shaking.
“Uh, I have to go to the bathroom,” He said before running out of the room, ignoring the teacher’s calls for him to ‘wait!’ and that he ‘needed a hall pass!’
Kenny ran outside the school doors and didn’t stop until he was a good mile away. Taking a corner into a nearby ally, only then did he allow his body the rest, and himself to catch his breath. The blonde leaned against the brick wall of some building and slowly slide down until he was sitting on the ground as his realization hit him.
This wasn’t one of Cartman’s dumb jokes. Kyle and Stan were just playing some cruel prank on him. They genuinely didn’t know who he was.
It was like he never existed…
The next few days were the hardest. Kenny killed himself multiple times trying to find a reality where people recognized him but no matter what no one knew who he was. He tried crying, begging for them to remember, he even showed them photos that were stored on his phone only to be called “some psycho stalker with photoshop” by Cartman.
But the last time he tried was the worst
The moment he got up he bolted out the door, not even bothering to grab his phone and bag that for some reason still existed despite him never having been born. When he got to the bus stop Kyle was the only one there. Kyle had always been the most sensible of the group. Maybe if Kenny talked to him one on one he’d remember.
It was worth a shot.
“Kyle!” He yelled out running up to him. The red-heads attention snapped towards him, startled by the blonde teens’ shout of his name. Kenny stopped running, standing a few away from him.
“K-Kyle…I need…t-to talk to you,” he panted. He hadn’t stopped running until he reached the bus stop.
Kyle stared at him with wary caution.
“Who are you? How do you know my name?”
Kenny stood up straight, still slightly winded but better than earlier.
“I’m Kenny McCormick. Don’t you remember me? We’ve known each other for years!”
Kyle stared at Kenny for a moment before shaking his head.
“I’m sorry. I really have no idea who you are.”
“Kyle please!” Kenny ripped his hood off so Kyle could get a better look at his face, “You have to remember!”
Kyle’s body stiffened. This random guy’s behavior was starting to make him uncomfortable.
“Look man, I don’t know who you are!”
“Hey, Kyle! Who’s this guy?” Stan asked walking towards the two.
“Not sure but this guy keeps yelling at me telling me that I should know him or something. Do you recognize him?”
Stan stared at Kenny’s desperate-looking face and stepped closer to Kyle.
“No. Who are you kid?”
“I’m Kenny! Kenny McCormick! I’ve been friends with both of you since preschool! We grew up together and went on crazy adventures! We traveled to Afghanistan, fought Cthulu together, and even faced off against death! And then 6 months ago you and Kyle told me you guys both loved me and wanted me to be a part of your relationship and it was one of the happiest moments of my life!”
Kenny had tears streaming down his face. His desperate eyes shifted from Stan’s guarded and confused ones to Kyle’s equally confused but also concerned ones.
“Listen,” Stan started, he made sure to keep his voice even but firm as if the blonde were some wild animal ready to lash out, “We’re sorry but we don’t know who you are. You probably have us mistaken for someone else. Regardless you’re making both of us very uncomfortable. I suggest you leave right now or else I will call the cops.”
Kenny’s heart squeezed painfully. He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the pain of having both of his boyfriends stare at him like that. Like he was crazy. Like they were afraid of him. He couldn’t stay in this timeline.
“Fuck it!”
Before either of them could react Kenny whipped out a gun he always carried with him and shot himself in the head.
The last thing he saw was Kyle and Stan’s faces before a loud bang followed by his vision going black. Part of Kenny wished he would stay dead this time, although he knew it’d never happen.
Immortality was a bitch…