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Barney shifted restlessly from foot to foot, fidgeting as his eyes darted to the doorbell and back to the ground repeatedly. He never thought he’d be standing in the cold outside a typical suburban home. Waiting to have dinner with his estranged father of all things! Who was to say this was going to be any different than the horrible night he’d had already? Face the facts; his dad simply wasn’t what he wanted him to be, he didn’t fit in with the life Barney led. Barney grinned to himself; his life was all parties and bars, hitting on girls for the fun of it, and coming home at the end of the night to a warm bed and his partner waiting for him. Barney’s grin dropped; how did he even know if his dad would approve of the relationship he had? Jerry seemed accepting, but one could never tell with people these days. He sighed heavily, his eyes landing on the doorbell again. A firm grip on his elbow startled Barney out of his thoughts. He turned and met his partner’s concerned face.
“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready Barney…” Ted oozed sincerity and concern and most importantly, care. Barney leaned into the touch and shook his head.
“No, you guys are right. I shouldn’t ignore him…he’s my dad.” Barney heaved out another sigh, then firming his resolve, reached out and rang the doorbell.
The seconds ticked by, Barney growing tenser with each one. Ted frowned, tightened his grip on Barney’s arm. Barney glanced over and relaxed marginally, a small smile gracing his lips. They both turned as the door opened and Jerry stepped out, his eyes widening slightly in surprise before he quickly masked it with a grin.
“Barney!” Jerry greeted, shifting forward as if to pull his son into a tight embrace. Barney tensed, but at the last second Jerry stopped. “We weren’t sure if you’d make it, so glad you did!” Jerry’s eyes fell on Ted, obviously confused at his presence.
“Hey Jerry—Dad—Jerry.” Barney faltered. He glanced down, then back up into his father’s eyes. “This is Ted. I hope you don’t mind I brought him along. He’s my...”
Barney hesitated. The night he and Jerry had hung out in the bar, the subject of Barney’s sexuality had never come up. He wasn’t ashamed of Ted or the fact he was gay, but the words wouldn’t come to him. He looked over helplessly at Ted, receiving a relaxed smile in return.
“I’m Ted, we met the other night. I’m Barney’s partner. Hope you don’t mind my intrusion.” Ted stepped forward, charming smile in place, and extending his hand in greeting. Jerry shook it, nodding to himself in acceptance.
“No, no, not at all. The more the merrier! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize Barney was…in a committed relationship.” Jerry smiled, hoping to cover up his near slip up.
“No, not many even believe he’s capable.” Ted remarked, giving Barney a sly look. Barney poked him sharply, eliciting a surprised yelp. Ted glared at Barney, who grinned back innocently. Jerry stepped back, gesturing the two inside. They stepped in and Jerry quickly took their coats, setting them over the back of a red patterned chair. A woman rushed down the stairs, surprise crossing her face briefly as her eyes landed on the two figures in her foyer. She recovered quickly, fixing a sincere welcoming smile on her face.
“Barney, right? I’m so glad to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you! I love that suit!” The woman shifted into Jerry’s hold as she greeted them.
“Ah…” Barney shifted slightly and Ted nodded encouragingly at him. “Ah, yes I love your…ahm…coat. I love your coat!” Barney winced as Ted elbowed him roughly.
“Hello, I’m Ted. You have a lovely home here.” Ted extended his hand again, rolling his eyes at his partner’s lack of social skills. For a womanizer who could get any girl to agree to going back to his place, Barney certainly didn’t have a handle on other social niceties, particularly the domestic ones.
“Oh, wonderful to meet you! I’m Cheryl, Jerry’s wife. I’m so sorry; I didn’t realize there was going to be one more for dinner. But of course it’s no problem! You’re a friend of Barney’s?”
“His friend and partner, yes. Sorry I’m crashing the party.”
“Oh no, don’t worry about that dear!” Cheryl covered her surprise at the new information, quickly turning to Jerry. “Well…let’s head to the kitchen, shall we? I only have a few more things to prepare for dinner. You can…catch up, yes? JJ will be joining us later.”
Ted and Barney nodded, following the older couple into the kitchen. At his side, Barney was still tense, a slight tremor echoing through him occasionally. Ted slipped his hand into Barney’s and squeezed gently. Barney exhaled and squeezed back, giving Ted a thankful albeit shaky look. He didn’t let go of his hand. Cheryl set about final dinner preparations, slicing bread and preheating the oven as she stirred a pot of red sauce.
“I do hope you like Italian, I figured everyone likes Italian, not likely to go wrong there.” Cheryl commented as she continued to slice the bread.
“Italian’s amazing, I actually know some Italian.” Ted remarked, stepping forward slightly. “Can I help with the salad Mrs. Whittaker?”
“Please, call me Cheryl! I always wanted to learn Italian, never got the chance. And sure, that would be great. It just needs to be tossed.”
Ted nodded and moved into the kitchen, nudging Barney towards where his father had seated himself at the table. Barney balked, glancing nervously over at the chair beside his father, and Ted nodded encouragingly. Barney swallowed, steeled himself, and settled into the open seat.
The tension in the air was palpable, but after several minutes of small talk, things began to ease up. Jerry pulled out some pictures and began showing them to Barney while Ted talked with Cheryl about Italian culture. At last dinner was ready and Ted moved to sit next to Barney, who was looking at a picture of Jerry and his family.
“JJ, dinner!” Cheryl called.
“I dug this up when I got your letter Barney,” Jerry was saying. “You were probably too young to remember but this is you, that’s me, and of course ZZ Top.”
“I do remember that…” Barney grinned, taking the picture in hand. Ted looked over Barney’s shoulder, snickering.
“Oh look, a time when you were adorable and innocent!”
“Shut up Ted!” Barney scowled at his partner, though his expression lacked heat. Ted laughed.
“No way dude, one of the perks I get as your partner is cooing over your baby pictures! And making fun of them. Sometimes.”
Jerry and Cheryl laughed, obviously still not completely comfortable with Ted and the capacity he held, but doing a valiant effort to welcome him as much as they were welcoming Barney. Ted appreciated it, he knew there was still controversy over relationships between two men or two women, but they were trying and to Ted that was all the mattered. Ted slipped his hand into Barney’s again, smiling fondly as his partner gazed in utter devotion at his father. Ted knew how difficult this entire meeting was for Barney. He remembered that night Barney had come back from his first meeting with Jerry. He remembered how Barney had been standoffish, struggling to act as though nothing was wrong. But Ted knew him too well and could see past it, could see how much the meeting had hurt Barney. His lover desperately wanted his father in his life but lacked the knowledge of how to act around Jerry. That night, Ted had laid Barney out beneath him and made love to him slowly and passionately. Afterwards, Ted held Barney as he trembled in his arms.
Now Barney was looking at his father with adoration and hope. Ted hoped desperately that things would work out between Barney and Jerry this time.
The moment was broken as a young boy entered the room, walking up to Barney and greeting him enthusiastically.
“Hi Barney! It’s great to finally meet you!”
“JJ, I’m talking to Dad right now, God!” Barney snapped. Surprise and concern flitted across Jerry’s face and Ted resisted the urge to face-palm. JJ blinked, then appeared to shrug it off and sat down next to his mother.
“So Barney, I understand you have a pretty big job at the bank?” Jerry asked as he speared a bite of food.
“Yeah, I do. I make a ton of money. How much do you make JJ?” Barney asked snidely.
JJ shifted uncertainly. “Ahm..I’m eleven…”
“Oh, well now we all know you’re good at making excuses. I was talking about money.” Barney scoffed. Ted shot a sharp look at Barney, who ignored it.
“Actually,” Cheryl cut in. “JJ has a job. Tell him, JJ.”
“I got a paper route.” JJ stated proudly. Ted smiled indulgently at him, opening his mouth to ask a follow up question, when Barney cut him off.
“Good time to get into print media, am I right Dad?”
“Good slam Barney!”
Ted and Cheryl both shot scandalized looks at their significant others.
“Jerry—” Cheryl began.
“No no it’s all in good fun. Just some ribbing between long lost brothers.”
Cheryl frowned, but continued on none the less. “JJ’s a heck of a basketball player.”
“Ah, you don’t strike me as the athletic type, Jayj.” Barney retorted sarcastically. Ted groaned mentally as Barney eyed his fork, then grabbed it and proceeded to attempt to bend it. After a few seconds of the metal clearly not moving, Barney reached out, grabbed the nearby candlestick, and snapped it in two. “Dad, check it. Triceps. What gym do you go to?”
Again JJ hesitated. “Ahm…fourth period?”
“It sounds like you’re having your fourth period. Am I right Dad!?”
“Got him again!”
“Barney!” Ted hissed, smacking his partner’s knee.
Jerry spotted his wife’s glare and winced. “Oh, okay Barney. Um, maybe that’s enough…”
“Why?” Barney asked petulantly. “JJ started it. What does that even stand for, huh? Jerky…jerk face!?”
“JJ stands for Jerome Junior.” Jerry stated seriously.
“J-Jerome…oh…he’s named after you…Excuse me.” Barney trailed off, rising from his seat and striding out of the room. Ted winced at the lost and hurt expression that crossed Barney’s face. He sat at the table awkwardly for a moment, glancing at Jerry and Cheryl.
“Ah…Excuse me.”
Ted rose and quickly moved after Barney. He found him outside, standing on the hood of Jerry’s car and tugging desperately at the basket ball hoop there. Ted stood quietly and watched him, waiting. After several moments, Barney let go and sank to his knees. He bit his lip, visibly trying to fight back tears. Ted stepped forward and climbed up on the car, sliding over to Barney. He waited only a moment before wrapping his arms tightly around his lover. Barney shook, screwing his eyes shut. They sat in silence as the minutes ticked by, before Barney abruptly stood up and began tugging at the hoop in earnest again. Ted winced but allowed Barney to resume his goal. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong. He didn’t need to ask why Barney wanted the hoop so badly. He knew. Ted heaved out a breath and climbed down off the car, heading to the door to go look for a screwdriver. He froze as Jerry came through, and then stepped aside to let him approach his son.
“Barney, what’s going on?”
“This is mine!” Barney snapped.
Jerry sighed. “I don’t understand.”
“JJ gets a childhood, a dad, a real family and on top of that a basketball hoop? No. I get the hoop. I’m taking it with me.”
“Please, just come talk to me.”
“Why? Why should I? You’re just a lame, suburban dad.”
“Why does that bother you so much??”
“Because if you were going to be some lame suburban dad, why couldn’t you be that for me!?”
Silence fell between the two. Barney turned back and tugged harshly at the hoop again.
“Look, Barney, I know I screwed up—”
Barney abruptly cut him off. “Oh ‘screwed up’ doesn’t even begin to—”
“I know!” Jerry exclaimed. “I know, I know! I want to fix this, but I don’t know how! Tell me how! I’ll do anything!”
Barney gazed at his father for a long moment, then sharply turned away to resume his attempted theft of the basket ball hoop. Jerry sighed and turned, walking past Ted back into the house. Ted frowned and anger sparked in his chest at the broken look on Barney’s face as he watched his father walked away. Before Ted could move though, Jerry returned with a towel and a toolbox. He set them on the car and pulled out a screwdriver, handing it to Barney.
“You’re never going to get it down that way.” Jerry stated. Barney accepted the tool, turning banging it like a hammer against the backboard. Ted winced again.
“Put the pointy end in the grooves…now turn…righty tighty lefty loosey.” Jerry sighed as he watched Barney continue his work on the hoop. “I have no good excuse. It took me years before I could even look at myself in the mirror for the way I let you down. It took courage to send me that letter…more courage than I’ve ever had. I owe you a lifetime of apologies…I have no idea where to begin.”
Barney remained silent. After a few minutes, Jerry sighed and gave up, heading back into the house. Ted watched as Barney continued to unscrew the hoop.
“Ted…can you help me with this please?” Barney’s voice was soft, exhausted and broken. Ted approached silently, helping Barney pull the hoop down and lean it against the garage door. Barney stared at it unblinkingly, before finally turning shining eyes up to meet Ted’s gaze.
“I…I don’t even know where to begin with him…I don’t know what to do. He wants me to just…be okay and I’m not. I can’t be!”
Ted pulled Barney into his arms again, hanging on tightly. Barney buried his face in Ted’s shoulder and Ted pretended not to feel the tears seeping into his shirt.
“No one expects you to just be okay with it Barney. Not me, not Lily or Marshall or Robin, not even your dad.”
Barney didn’t respond except to press closer to Ted. Ted held him silently until at last the shaking and tears slowed, then gradually stopped.
“Thanks Ted.” Barney murmured. “L-love you.”
Ted smiled and pressed his lips to Barney’s, gently but firmly. He slid his tongue along the seam of Barney’s lips, tasting the salt from his tears. Barney hesitated only a moment before he was kissing back, opening his mouth up for Ted and pressing into his touch. The kiss deepened and continued for several long moments and when Ted pulled back, Barney was flushed. His pupils were dilated and he was panting.
“Love you too.”