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cartman shits himself so badly that kyle and stan laugh at him until they die then cartman shits the rest of his organs out because fuck stan and kyle

Summary:

cartman has deadly diarrhea and kyle doesnt. uh oh!

Work Text:

Cartman stepped out of his mother's car. His fatass broke the floor and he fell. "MYEEEUUUUUUUUUUEEEM HELP ME UPPPPP" he screams. His mom crabs him by the neck with her mouth like a cat and carries him to his room. Cartman farted really loudly like a dumbass and started crying. "Myuuuuueeem... why did the doctor say I have diarrhea? I shit like this normally!" Liane patted her son on the back. "Well sweetie this time your poo-poo is red! It's liquidy and sticky and there's way too much of it!" she said, trying her best to explain to her son that red shit isn't really normal. Cartman tuned out mid-sentence and got up off his bed, called his mom a slur, and sat on the toilet and began shitting.

 

"Dude, look!" Stan exclaimed, looking at Kyle. They had bought a ladder just the right size to see Cartman drop a fat load in his upstairs bathroom. Kyle broke into laughter and Stan had to hold onto him so he wouldn't fall and die, but then Cartman started making direct eye contact with Stan and started talking. It was muffled because of the window, and he couldn't REALLY tell what Cartman was saying but he could make out both the n-word and at least one swear he's never head before by reading his lips. This made Stan laugh so hard he also fell off from the ladder, but landed directly on Kyle, snapping all his bones killing him instantly.

Cartman laughed so hard that he vomited. The noodles he ate the night before reformed completely from being chewed and blanketed the carpeted floor of the bathroom. He was grossed out and vomited again, covering even more ground. The floor looked like a Splatoon turf war but with only one color and instead of paint its just vomit. He suddenly felt a strong pain in his lower stomach and started shitting again. This time it came out easily like a hotdog covered in oil going down a waterslide except it's a steady stream of shit in Cartman's ass. His pain only got worse however when his intestines started sliding out. This motherfucker shits so hard he shat his fucking intestines out. Big mood. Anyways when those came out he was pretty much dead but not before he shat out the rest of his vital organs. The dead lump of flesh and bones sat on the toilet for about 4 more days before anyone noticed.

 

Probably because nobody cared.