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Remus, half awake that he was, made his way out to the hallway for a cup of tea, hoping that the warmth would lure him to sleep. It was another sleepless night for him, and judging by the faint sounds of a record playing upstairs, he realized he wasn’t the only one not getting a good night’s sleep.
As he made his way up the stairs, he heard the soft crooning of Nat “King” Cole’s voice over the familiar melody of Smile. He’d often hear the song coming from Hermione’s library in the wee hours of the morning when Sirius had had a particularly bad night while she was back at Hogwarts; playing the record in Hermione’s stead. It had always comforted Sirius, even if just a bit.
As he stood at the door to the library, he took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever lay behind the oak door. He gingerly opened it and laid eyes upon the woman in front of him. No amount of preparedness could’ve helped him take in the sight of her. Gone was the bright, smiling, kind, and warm Hermione Granger. Here in front of him sat a young woman that was utterly broken. She looked disheveled, sitting on the couch with her head in her hands as she sobbed; a half empty bottle of firewhisky was her only companion.
He took two careful steps into the library not wanting to startle her. “Hey there, runt,” he said softly. She jumped slightly, her red and swollen eyes meeting his baby blues. “Remus! I’m so sorry. Did I wake you?,” she said, wiping away her tears.
“No need to apologize. I was already awake,” he said as he continued his slow pace into the room. He could see her practically crumbling under the weight of her grief. He needed to do something, anything to comfort her; give her something to hold on to . So he gave her the only thing he had.
He walked up to her and offered her his hand. “What are you doing?,” she questioned.
“Dancing.” He offered her a soft smile.
“But you-you don’t dance.” she replied through a choked sob.
“For you, I do.”
There was a moment’s hesitation and then she placed her hand in his, tears still streaming down her face. He led her out in front of the fireplace and held her close. She clung to him like a lifeline, burying her face in his shoulder as she sobbed, swaying to the music.
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Nat “King” Cole’s velvety voice carried the last few notes of the song as the record came to a stop. He led her back to the couch. She sat against the armrest, Remus next to her, her toes tucked underneath Remus’ thigh for warmth. “Do you want to talk about it?” He would never force her to talk, but it was obvious Hermione was having a really hard time with Sirius’ passing, perhaps more than the rest of them, and even they weren’t doing too well.
She was still crying as she shook her head. Then she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. “I- I’m in love with him,” She exhaled as if she’d been holding that in for months, which she had. She wiped her eyes and continued, “And I never got to tell him, Remus. Hell, I didn’t even really know until- until he was g-gone.” Her sobs came harder now and Remus pulled her into his chest murmuring words of comfort in her ear and gently pressing his lips to her temple. “It hurts. It hurts down to my bones. It just- it isn’t right that he’s not here. It isn’t right and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.”
No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t take this pain away from her. He knew more than anyone that the only way that she would get through it, the only way that all of them would get through it, was just that. To go through it. There was no spell, no potion, no words of comfort that would magically make the grief go away. They just had to put one foot in front of the other and take things day by day.
So he held her. His own tears streamed down his cheeks now as he rocked her and held her tightly; more so for his own comfort now than hers. She was right-it wasn’t right that Sirius wasn’t here with them. He’d lost his best friend. He was now the last of the Marauders and it was a loneliness that Remus wasn’t prepared for. Sirius’ love was in Hermione and he thought if he just held her tightly enough he could feel it.
They held each other until their sobs slowly stopped. Eventually Hermione’s breathing evened out and grew deep and Remus knew she had finally fallen asleep. “Come on, runt. Let’s get you to bed,” he whispered. He gathered her in his arms and made his way downstairs, gently placing her in her bed. He pulled the quilt up to her chin and gently planted a kiss on her forehead.
Crawling into his own bed, Remus finally felt the sweet siren song of sleep call to him and fell into a peaceful slumber. They made it through today. Tomorrow will worry about itself.