Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kris shot out of bed, much more lively than they had been for the past 14 years of their life.

Today was the day.

Asriel was coming home.

£@©# yeah.

Before their mom had even walked in the room to open the curtains they had already gotten ready, earning a curious look from the goat.

"Well, someone is energetic today!" She smiled warmly, looking at the teen, "If only you had this energy every morning!"

Said teenager only nodded, already heading out to the car. The quicker they could get school over with, the quicker they could get home and see their brother.

Their brother, who had been away at college for over 3 months.

Their best friend.

… don't tell Susie-

As they and their mother pulled into the school’s sole parking space, they silently pondered whether or not Asriel would still consider them his best friend, too.

That thought was cut short, however, when Susie began pulling on the car door's handle until it unlocked.

"Hi Ms. Toriel- Kris c'mon we gotta go-" They let their purple friend drag them into the school, their backpack in their other hand.

Susie slammed open the storage closet door, cannonballing in while Kris fell in with her, dragged by the arm.

That's not to say that they were unwilling to go to the dark world, of course.

They just wanted to get the school day over with.

And surprisingly, they did! There was (quite oddly) no new dark world that day, so the entire day was a very wholesome slice-of-life adventure with tons of lighthearted comedy that would make for a wonderful one-shot story.

A shame you couldn't see it, truly.

As their day ended with a wave goodbye from Ralsei, Kris and Susie made their way back through the -admittedly short- school halls to the front door.

Calling mother Toriel to let her know they'd be home soon, with Susie interrupting to say that she was coming over again as well, the two highschoolers made their way from the (Sonic) schoolhouse to their humble abode.

Kris and Susie walked through the front door, waving at Asriel as they ran up the stairs.

Wait.

Bolting back down the stairs, nearly tripping and landing on their face, Kris stumbled back into the living room.

Asriel smiled, waving at Kris once again as Susie yelled for Kris to 'stop being so damn fast and wait up.'

"Howdy! I thought you had missed me for a moment!"

Before the goat could say anything more, Kris tackled the dude.

Like, quarterback-about-to-win-the-game tackled.

It missed him and almost costed a window, but it's the thought that counts.

Kris shouted at the goat, asking him why he had the audacity to not let them know he was already home.

Asriel smiled sheepishly- goatishly?

"I didn’t have any way to tell you!"

Kris reminded him that they "have a phone, dipshit."

Susie coughed awkwardly, interrupting their… loving... Reunion.

"So uh… who's this clown?" She said, implying not only that Asriel was a clown, but that he wasn’t even one of the better known clowns.

Kris shot up from their crumpled place on the floor, quickly explaining that this was Asriel, their brother.

They decided to leave out the best friend part. For all of their sakes.

"Oh, I see!" Susie nodded. "So this is who got you into your nerd shit!"

Asriel nodded, looking at Kris with a bit of a concerned expression, but still overall happy that Kris had finally made friends besides him.

"Well, I'm happy that Kris has friends at school! They didn't really have any when I left."

Kris stared at him.

"Uh… no offense."

"Oh yeah, we're best buds at school!" Susie elbowed Kris's arm.

"Wait. School."

Asriel looked at the two highschoolers as they shared a look of panic.

"The project-"

Kris hastily finger-gunned at their brother as Susie picked them up and carried them over their shoulder like a human-shaped sack of fresh potatoes.

Asriel blinked as the two bounded back up the stairs like men (monsters? A Monster and a man?) On a mission.

Susie dropped Kris on the floor once they reached their room, not wanting to open the door to someone else's place.

As Kris opened the door, they noticed it was dark.

Too dark.

They slammed the door shut, planted pots shaking from the force and ran back downstairs.

There were going to be no dark world shenanigans while their brother was over.

Kris announced that on second thought they'd just take the zero and not do the project.

Susie wasn't too upset by this turn of events as she walked back down the stairs, starting to get tired of this new-fangled fitness.

Asriel, on the other hand, wasn't so accepting of this fate.

"Come on! It's not that hard of a project." He tried to persuade his sibling. "I did it when I was in highschool too!"

Kris shook their head, repeatedly muttering different variations of no.

Asriel sighed, picking up Kris. He was used to his sibling deciding to not do homework, but he was a bit out of practice.

"Here, what if I helped you two with the project?" He offered, walking back up the stairs again as Susie groaned in annoyance of having to walk back up the stairs.

Kris, currently being held like an elongated cat (though probably not elongating like one), desperately tried to free themselves of their brother’s grasp.

The Nos grew louder for every step taken, Kris's eyes glaring through their bangs as they tried to rub their two brain cells together to think of a way out of this.

Asriel shuffled around for a moment, freeing his hand and turning the doorknob, kicking the door open and walking in.

"Huh, I don't remember it being this dark-"

And then he fell, Kris unfortunately being pulled along and Susie just deciding to cannonball in.

Chapter Text

As the three fell down into the depths of whatever dark world fate had decided to thrust upon them, Kris wondered why they even bothered trying to avoid this in the first place.

Fate loved messing with them anyways, so they should've known this would have been unavoidable.

Didn't explain why Asriel was still holding onto them like a cat though.

As the three went through their magical girl transformation sequence, Kris briefly wondered what Asriel would look like in the dark world.

Would he just look like Ralsei? But, like, taller?

Kris shook away the thought. The last thing they needed were two of the same looking person running around if he did show up.

Looking over at their brother, they blinked.

Man, he really did look like a loser lmao.

His eyes were now black with white irises and markings over his face, and he was wearing a purple… dress?

It looked like something mom would wear to bed.

However, any more contemplations on their brother’s dark world form were quickly cut short as they hit the floor.

Or the flowers, they guessed.

Asriel groaned as his back hit the ground. Apparently, flowers weren't as good of buffers as he had thought.

As Asriel let Kris go finally, a loud CRACK from the left caught their attention.

Susie shouted profanities as she sat on the ground, having landed just a few inches away from the flowers.

Asriel stood corrected, apparently.

Kris shook their head as they stood up, walking over to help their-not best- friend.

"Shit, I think I broke my ass bone or something." Susie hissed as she grabbed Kris's arm to help her up.

A moving shadow caught the three lightner's attention.

As they looked over, they realized it was just Ralsei.

"Hello!" He smiled. "It's nice to see you again! I- uh…" He turned a bit, seeing Asriel.

"Oh, um, hello!" The younger goat waved, smiling awkwardly. "Who might...you be?"

"I feel like I should be the one asking that." Asriel looked down at what seemed like a misremembered version of himself as a pre-teen.

"Ah, of course!" Kris and Susie watched as the two goat boys seemed to dance around each other with an air of faux-cordiality.

Mainly coming from Ralsei, unexpectedly.

After a moment, Kris cut them off, trying to get them back to the matter at hand.

They were currently stuck in another dark world.

That meant that there was a new dark fountain.

That meant the world was in danger.

"World ending?" Asriel looked to his younger sibling, "and wait, what do you mean ANOTHER dark world?"

"This isn't the first time we've done this." Susie shrugged, stretching her arm as she grabbed her battle axe, "We've kinda been doing it for an entire week now."

"Ah good, yes, that makes everything better!" Asriel threw up his hands, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"You've been risking not only your lives, but the entire world’s for a WEEK?!" The older brother instinct had kicked into overdrive apparently.

"That's not okay! Have you even talked to anyone about this?"

Kris shrugged, explaining that two teenagers reporting a magical world that appears at random wouldn't get much more than weird looks from any authorities.

"That and-" Susie added, resting her axe on her shoulder. "-We look cool as hell."

Asriel stood there for a moment, desperately trying to find something to say before sighing in defeat.

A magical shadow realm of a world did sound completely unbelievable.

"Fine, but we are talking about this once we get home."

Kris nodded, already planning ways to avoid that altercation.

"Kris is right!" Ralsei nodded. "We need to go close that dark fountain. It's our job as the 3 heroes of the prophecy!"

Kris nodded, adding that the Fun Gang had a goal!

Susie agreed. "Yeah, as the co-owner of the $!$! squad, I say we get going!"

Asriel desperately tried to figure out what the hell this group of children's team name was.

However, the confused adult goat followed the kids' chain from behind as they walked towards the only door in the area.

Only for Asriel to IMMEDIATELY be hit by the pure cringe of Flowey the Flower.

"Howdy!" The plant waved its leaf happily.

"I'm Flowey, Flowey the Flower!"

Kris was immediately K.Od as well.

"By golly, you seem new here, and scared too!" Feigning compassion, Flowey looked sympathetically at the two downed lightners.

"Well, not to worry! I can help!" Winking, the yellow flower lifted their leaf, white pellets of some kind appearing above him.

"Here in the UNDERGROUND, we share LOVE through little, white, friendliness pellets!"

Susie scoffed. "We know what bullets are, dumbass."

Flowey paused for a moment, before shrugging.

"Then I guess that makes this easier!"

Suddenly, the bullets race towards the group, hitting the remaining team that was standing.

Susie was able to brute force it with ease, while Ralsei quickly fell.

"What?!" Flowey looked up at the monster, now wielding her trusty axe.

"Guess it's my turn, huh?"

Her axe flew down, but right before it could hit the yellow weed, she kicked him into a wall.

As he burrowed away, Susie prepped her super awesome healing ability, and brought Ralsei back to 1hp.

Ralsei then healed the others, smiling at them as they revived.

As they walked through another door, Susie looked up to Asriel.

"So, what was up with that plant?" She eyed him as he froze. "I noticed you uh, died real quick when you saw him."

Asriel laughed a bit, scratching the back of his head. "Ah, well, you see… I kind of… made him?"

The party stopped.

"Made him?" Susie turned around fully.

"Kris named him! It wasn't all me!" Asriel defended himself as Kris shoved him, a loud SHHHHHH as they glared.

Susie snorted. "Kris, YOU named him?!" She smirked, punching their arm as they desperately tried to avoid any eye contact. "Man, what a maestro with names you are! What's next? A ghost named Boo?"

Ralsei smiled kindly at the oldest in the group, though it didn't seem to meet his eyes. "Well, as you made that flower, Asriel, I'm assuming you also made some others?" Ignoring the other teammates' antics, the younger goat stared up at the older one, who smiled back with vague horror.

"Well, you see… I uh… kinda created the basis of an entire videogame when I was like 14?"

Susie paused her friendly assault on Kris, mainly being that of dumber and dumber names, and looked over to Asriel as well.

"So we're in your game?"

Asriel nodded hesitantly. "It uh… seems so?"

"Sweet!" The lizard lady grinned, leaning back on a wall. "Then you can just tell us what to do, right? No problem!"

Kris also looked over to their brother. While on one hand they wanted this situation over with, they were spending time with their brother in an interesting and fun way.

Asriel nodded, racking his brain. He hadn't even thought of the story in months, if not years, but it had been such a huge part of his life for his entire 9th and 10th grade career. It wouldn't be too hard to remember it.

"Alright then! Let's get going!" Susie pumped her fist.

Suddenly however, the door opened and revealed a very familiar looking goat.

Chapter Text

The door opened, revealing a very familiar looking goat.

"Oh!" The group turned, seeing none other than Miss Toriel.

Toriel looked at the four new faces in the ruins.

Shaking the feeling of familiarity upon seeing three of the newest creatures in the ruins, she smiled kindly.

"I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. How did you get here, may I ask?"

The group looked at eachother.

"Tunnel." Asriel bleated out.

Toriel blinked, "A tunnel?"

Susie nodded. "Yep. Dug here. Took us five hours. It sucked."

"May I…" her smile seemed to waver. "...see it?"

Asriel shook his head.

"Why not? Did something happen?" She asked, pressing further.

"Flower." Susie nodded.

Toriel stood there for a moment before regaining composure.

"I see, what a horrible creature, torturing and harming such poor, innocent youth." She sighed, looking at the four kindly.

"May I ask what your names are?" She wondered.

"Uh, yeah sure. I'm Susie." The lizard nodded a hello at not-Kris's-mom Toriel.

"I am Ralsei, pri-." The younger goat paused. "-not a prince."

Toriel nodded, taking in their names before looking at Kris and Asriel expectantly.

Asriel panicked. Quick, come up with a good name!

"I'm Goaty. Goaty the uh, Goat."

Great job.

"And this is uh- Frisk!" Kris blinked, before nodding in agreement. Yep. That's their name. Definitely.

Kris didn't need a fake name, but Asriel refused to suffer alone on this one.

It's not like they knew, anyways.

Toriel smiled warmly once more.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you all." She gestured towards the first puzzle. "Well, though I'm aware most of you already know of this, the UNDERGROUND is filled with puzzles." She explained.

"If you would like, you may attempt this one."

The group nodded, and Susie and Kris ran towards the puzzle as Ralsei made his way to the plaque.

As the younger goat read through the hint, the two (not best) friends began stomping on random buttons.

"It says here that the-" before Ralsei could finish, the door opened and Kris and Susie yelled in victory.

Asriel sighed a bit. He remembered thinking that was such a good starter puzzle when he made it, too.

Toriel blinked a bit in surprise, but quickly regained her composure.

"Well done, all of you." She smiled, giving the two teenagers a side eye. "Although I would highly suggest you read the puzzles from now on instead of simply pushing through."

Kris looked to the ground, trying their hardest to avoid their not-mother's disappointed gaze.

"Uh… yeah sure." Susie nodded, also avoiding her gaze.

Smiling warmly once more- she loves smiling warmly wow- she walked through the newly opened doorway, gesturing for the group to follow.

As the group passed, Asriel- sorry, Goaty- vaguely wondered where they would all be sleeping as her home only had one guest room. He had a sinking feeling he would end up on the couch.

Just like when his college roommate got mad at him for winning Monopoly™.

Walking into the next room, Asriel once more froze, desperately trying to remember what options he gave for the dummy in this room.

He got his answer when Kris immediately flirted with it.

Wait.

He didn't program that in????????

He's aromantic. He didn't even know what flirting was in early highschool.

Toriel gave that glare that only a disappointed mother would give.

Goaty would know, he had been on the receiving end of many.

Shifting slightly away once again, Kris backed away from the dummy.

Susie, on the other hand, simply didn't fear god. In one swift motion, she picked up where Kris left off.

Her flirting sucked. Something about free ham sandwiches?

With a wide grin, she looked back at Kris confidently.

"Great flirting, huh Loser?"

Kris smiled and gave a thumbs up, before quickly reversing the motions as they turned their thumbs up into a thumbs down and shook their head.

Susie snorted.

"Oh come on, you know that was smooth."

Kris remarked that it seemed they were having a pretty rough time more than anything.

Toriel stifled a giggle before coughing and giving Susie the same look she had previously given her (not) child.

"My children, although I am…" she looked at the dummy, which seemed to have somehow backed away from the group.

"... elated by your enthusiasm to learn how to interact with monsters, most monsters are not a fan of such… advances."

"Wait," Asriel raised his hand, something he learned to do because Kris, despite being quiet now, wouldn't shut up as a kid and it was the only way he could get words in.

"We're already monsters, why would we need to learn this?"

Toriel blinked, vaguely gesturing towards Susie and Kris, who were now cornering the dummy and were trying to "get its lunch money" while Ralsei watched helplessly.

Asriel shrugged, "Fair point."

Coughing once more- a miracle her throat isn’t killing her at this point- Toriel gained the 3 teens’ attention.

"Please step away from the dummy."

Kris and Susie begrudgingly did as told as Ralsei sighed in relief.

Once the two backed away however, the dummy… ran away?

Blinking a bit, Toriel stared at the spot the dummy once resided.

"Well, I suppose that was… unexpected."

She stepped aside, and the group made a silent agreement to not acknowledge what had happened as they walked into the next room.

Little did they know, someone was watching them as they continued onward.

Chapter Text

Froggit attacks!

The group stumbled back as the new foe appeared. They honestly weren't expecting to get attacked this soon into the next area.

Kris ACTed fast, telling Susie and Ralsei to compliment the small frog. They had no clue if it would work, but their instinct had never been wrong before.

The froggit seemed to change, and Asriel decided to flex on his sibling's friends by showing his foreign language credits.

"Froggit didn't understand what you said, but was flattered anyways!"

Hey, froggit tongue was easy to pick up and easier to remember than French.

Before the Froggit could retaliate and/or get spared, Toriel intervened, giving one of her award winning (and apparently very common (comomin)) glares as the froggit shi689ed away.

Toriel clapped her hands (you know, like teachers do when they want to move on to something new), giving an approving glance to the group before speaking up.

"Good job, my children!" She tilted her head to the side, and smiled once more. "You did very well, and the MONSTER didn't even seem uncomfortable!" Unlike that dummy.

"Now, look ahead." She gestured towards the other end of the room, which was covered in spikes.

Goaty blinked, looking where Toriel the not-mom had pointed.

Ah, right.

"Spikes? I get to impale myself again?" Grinning wildly as her teeth flashed, Susie dashed through the spikes. She made it quite far, too.

Or like, until she tripped and fell into the water next to the puzzle. Then she was doing quite poorly, actually.

"AH SHIT-"

"Wait, my child!" Toriel ran forwards, before pausing as the purple dinosaur quickly resurfaced.

"-Wait this isn't even that deep-" Susie slapped through the water, hitting the ground underneath fairly easily.

Kris shrugged, before jumping in the water after their friend, somehow floating perfectly despite having cannon balled in. with armor on.

They nodded, confirming Susie's statement and gave a thumbs-up. Yep, water's fine.

Toriel came to a full stop, looking at the two highschoolers. Despite her many years of living in the RUINS, she had never thought to test how deep the waters were. Drowning a MONSTER or HUMAN was a risk too high for her to ask of someone.

Regaining her composure, Toriel gave a soft grin.

"Well, that's a relief."

Ralsei and Goaty (Asriel) watched as the two other members of the … gang/squad/fanclub reached the end of the puzzle. Asriel swore at one point Susie used Kris as a floatie, but whatever.

After Toriel guided the two goats through the spike puzzle proper, the group continued on.

Once they reached the end of the next room, which happened to be a very long hallway, Susie leaned on the-conveniently-placed-and-not-at-all suspicious-pillar for support as she caught her breath.

Ralsei wasn't doing much better, falling onto the ground directly onto his face.

Kris, Asriel, and Toriel made their way to the end about 30 seconds after, unsurprised. That's what happens when you dash to the end of the hall.

Susie panted. "Haha! I… totally beat you… in that race!"

Ralsei groaned, turning around. "We weren't racing!"

"...Then what were we doing?"

"You were dashing, and I didn't want you to be lonely so I came with you!"

Toriel smiled softly, before turning her attention towards the entire group.

"Now for most, this room is a test of courage to see how you faire on your own." She started. "However, I trust you are old enough to make the right choices without needing to be tested."

Well that's wrong.

"So, I trust that you all will stay in this room while I go and get a surprise for you all." Finishing, she pulled out a phone. "However, if you have an emergency, I would still like to give you something to contact me with."

In response, all but Ralsei pulled out a phone.

"Oh."

Noticing Ralsei tech-less (like a fukkin LOSER), she hands him the phone.

"If you have any problems whatsoever, please don't be afraid to call me." She told them, almost as if she were telling kids the ground rules before leaving for a business trip.

Nodding, the three who hadn't been gifted the oldest phone known to man surrounded the smaller goat, trying to see this Toriel's number.

Goaty watched as Kris put the phone contact as "NOT my maternal figure."

Honestly he was surprised they didn't put "Mom 2."

… Partially because that's what he did.

As the commotion around the not-prince continued, Toriel took advantage and promptly left.

"Hey Ma'am, you sure that you should be giving us yo- and she's gone." Looking around before shrugging, Susie leaned back onto the pillar.

Kris shrugged as well, and then, holding up their phone, they smirked. Nothing else to do but prank-call her, right?

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Kris?" Ralsei got on his tiptoes as Kris started to find the contact. "She was probably in a rush if she left so quickly."

Disregarding their friend, Kris hit call.

"Hello?" Toriel's voice rung out through the speaker.

On instinct, Kris greets their mother, before asking her if her refrigerator was running.

Asriel facepalmed immediately. He should've stopped this.

"O-oh! Why um.. yes, it is?" The voice answered, already knowing where the joke was headed but not wanting to spoil it.

Kris politely suggested she should go after it.

Toriel laughed a bit, before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Susie raised her hand up for a high five, which Kris quickly reciprocated with a cackle as they put their phone away.

After that they didn't really do much, just waiting in the room as per Toriel's request.

Asriel pushed himself onto his feet, wiping his pants off.

"Welp, I think we've stayed here long enough."

Kris ??????ed at Asriel, not too different from that one cat picture, and asked what he meant.

"Oh, yeah, we're not meant to actually stay in this room."

"What????"

Chapter Text

As soon as the four heroes traversed THE RUINS, they were immediately sidetracked by the candy in the bowl in the next room over.

You see, the moment Kris and Susie laid eyes upon the glittering bowl of sweet treats, Asriel (we're dropping the Goaty thing for now, for his sake) knew that the next 30 minutes of their journey would be beyond chaotic.

The younger Dreemurr child and their (not) best friend made their way up the aisle like a duo of brides on their way to say "I don't" to their fiancé.

Before they could stick their grubby little hands into the candy however, Asriel glared at them.

"It says 'take one'."

Kris smiled wickedly. Surely he didn't think that would stop them?

The two heroes wasted no time taking a fistful of candy and shoving it into their pockets and mouths.

However, their greed quickly became their downfall.

Well, actually it became the bowl’s downfall as it plummeted towards the cold, purple, unforgiving stone of THE RUINS.

Asriel gestured towards the fallen sweets. "Now look what you did!"

Hey, the narrator wasn't here, someone has to lay on the guilt, right?

The two teens quickly dropped to the ground, undeterred by the dirty ground of THE RUINS.

Ah right. Asriel forgot how much of a degenerate his sibling was.

Grabbing the two by the back of their shirts, Asriel lifted the two candy stealing f(r)iends off the ground.

"Alright, that's enough."

The player was only meant to take three at most (if they chose to deface the sacred ground of the dollar store Halloween candy bowl), this was completely breaking the rules!

"Also, gross."

He just so happened to forget who exactly stole all of their shared candy when they were children. Figures.

Susie glared up as the older Dreemurr lifted her and Kris back onto their feet.

"Who are you, Ms. Alphys? Let us eat the floor candy!"

Asriel shook his head as he dragged the two out of the room.

Ralsei finally piped up from the back

"Floor candy does give you HP!"

"Don't care. It's gross."

Kris and Susie groaned as Asriel dragged them out of the destroyed candy sanctuary, Ralsei in toe.

Asriel dropped the two off on a patch of red leaves. As they got up, shaking and pulling the foliage out of their hair and armor, Susie caught sight of a small golden star.

Immediately, she elbowed Kris.

"Hey, this one of your weird save spaces?"

Kris shrugged. It kind of was but the one they see is silver.

Asriel gasped, upset.

"You mean I was wrong?? I asked you if the sprite looked good when I made it!"

Kris informed Asriel that 'good' and 'accurate' were not, in fact, synonyms.

Asriel did not appreciate this information.

Ralsei cut in. He has a habit of doing such when things start getting heated.

"So that's what the save states you told us about look like! Fascinating!"

Kris nodded, before holding out their hands towards the miniature star as the save screen popped up.

The group watched in fascination as Kris proceeded to save. They all felt a wave of healing wash over them, not too different from the other times Kris had simply raised their hand.

Before the screen closed however, Susie and Ralsei caught sight of the name.

"BUTTFART (all caps)?????"

Kris shrugged. It was funny.

Ralsei blinked, flummoxed (<- baffled but funnier sounding).

"Is this why you named my kingdom BUTTFARTtown (all caps)????"

Kris shrugged again. He asked for name options.

"I- but still????? Why would you-??"

Kris had never spent more than a second on names in their life. Honestly Ralsei should have expected this.

Sighing in defeat, Ralsei pulled his scarf over his mouth and chewed on it in anger. Cuz- cuz he's a goat. Get it. Ehhh?? Okay anyways

Asriel, who knew almost all of this already as he was the one who offered the name to Kris as a child, besides the silver part apparently, coughed as a way to get the groups attention.

When that didn't work he threw a rock at Kris.

Kris gasped in offense, making quite a big show out of it too, even though they literally took half a damage, which shouldn't even be possible.

But they already broke the game this far so who cares anymore.

Not Asriel. Nope. Not at all.

Especially not as Kris managed to completely jump over the falling floor trap. A perfect jeté. How did Kris even do that they haven't been in ballet in years and Asriel KNOWS they haven't been practicing.

He felt marginally better when Susie and Ralsei couldn't follow the humans' lead, however.

Ralsei panicked as he and Susie looked down at the quickly crumbling floor.

Realistically, Susie could have grabbed Ralsei and gotten to the other side before the floor fully gave way, but Ralsei was screaming for dear life. So that made it kind of hard to think.

"Oh no!!! We're falling into the Darker World!!"

Didn't help that Susie was also laughing her (now fixed) ass off.

Kris and Asriel looked down to see their fallen allies.

Susie, who was currently having a laughter induced asthma attack, lay with a now rebroken ass-bone as Ralsei continued his wild panic of the Darker World.

Kris called down to their two teammates, asking if they were alright and also what the hell a 'darker world' was.

Ralsei paused. He then covered his face with his scarf, an embarrassed blush burning through.

Susie gave a thumbs-up, clapping Ralsei's shoulder as she smiled up at the two Dreemurr siblings.

"I'm fine! Think I broke my ass again, but what else is new, right?"

Kris nodded in agreement (Asriel wondered how often this had happened to Susie), and began looking for a way out for the two monsters.

The monster that knew the answer to the puzzle remained silent, still a bit tilted over his sibling managing to avoid the falling tiles so easily. If they wanted to be smart about it, they could find the solution to the puzzle themself!

That ended up going horribly as Kris and the gang still hadn't figured it out after 30 minutes. As Asriel looked down at his phone, he idly wondered if time worked the same in the Dark World as it did in the real one.

Wait, was his world any more real than the Dark World? The people in the world- for example, Ralsei- seem to be completely 3 dimensional (both metaphorically and literally), and had their own dreams and hopes. Was it unfair to call this world and their beings fake? Would it be worth it to destroy this world and its inhabitants? How could they try to close the portal, knowing that-

"Hey Goaty!" He's shocked out of his thoughts as Susie called out to him from the other side.

"You are coming with us, aren't ya?!"

Asriel nodded, getting up. Right. They should get home. He takes a step forward,

And immediately falls through the floor.

Right. Great.

Chapter Text

After a few more puzzles (that we will not get into because lmao it's kind of tedious to go through literally ALL of the ruins but know they fucked up like. ALL of them), Asriel walked into the next room, defeated. He genuinely thought his puzzles were clever.

As the heroes made their way into the next room, the ringing of Ralsei's phone caught them off guard. Picking up the phone, Ralsei mumbled a "hello?" Into the receiver. From the speaker, Toriel's voice rolled out.

"Hello, my children! None of you have any allergies, do you?"

Ralsei looked up at the rest of the grout, repeating the question.

"Huh? Why does she wanna know?" Susie questioned, confused. "Also I'm not allergic to anything, I'm stronger than that!"

Kris reminded Susie that she can't have peanuts.

"Nah, I don't eat those because they taste gross."

Kris reminded her that she had to go to the hospital.

"Because they tasted bad."

Kris told Ralsei they're allergic to snails.

"I'm allergic to Soybean- wait." Asriel turned to Kris. "You're allergic to Snails? But you love mom's snail pie!"

Kris shrugged. It didn't seem that important to mention. Besides, if they told mom, she'd stop making it =( .
"I- you can't just- of course she- fine whatever." Asriel sighed.

Ralsei nodded, repeating the answers to Toriel before questioning why she asked.

"Huh? Why am I asking?" She paused.
"No reason… no reason at all."

The call continued on, Toriel telling Ralsei about how long it had been since she had cleaned up and to be sure to keep their pockets open in case they found something they had really liked, which the younger goat parroted to the rest of the team.

"Ah, I have another question. Do you prefer Cinnamon or Butterscotch?"

Ralsei made the mistake of asking the group instead of deciding himself.

"Oh hell yeah, Butterscotch!" Susie smirked. "Gotta go with that one."

"But Cinnamon is a LOT better for pies." Asriel responded. "Especially mom's."

"Pfft, no way!"

"How would you know? You don't live with her."

"You've been gone, how do YOU know I don't?"

"WHAT-"

Ralsei watched as the two began to argue.

"Oh dear…."

Kris took the phone out of Ralsei's hands, and requested Snail pie.

"Aren't… Aren't you allergic?" Toriel reminded.

Kris told her that they'd only have breathing problems for a few hours after.

"No. We're not doing that." Ralsei took the phone out of his friend's hands.

"Both work, Thank you." Ralsei's voice strained from the stress of being the most mature person in the room.

"Ah, alright then. Thank you, my children!" Toriel then hung up after a farewell, that Ralsei and Kris returned.

Susie and Asriel had to be physically moved away from each other (a decently hard feat for the two weaker members of 3HotP) before they would stop arguing.

Once calming down, Asriel hoped that the next portion of this puzzle-the actual PUZZLE portion- would be easier to traverse and handle than the simple task of deciding the better pie flavor (even though it was obviously cinnamon).

If the Fun Gang/$!$! Squad/3(4) Heroes of the Prophecy (Also known as 3HotP for writing convenience) were anything to go by, he was horribly wrong.

Asriel began pushing one of the three rocks in the three rock room, gesturing for the group to do the same with the other two.

Ralsei and Kris, together because they're weak, push the 2nd rock.

Susie readied herself to kick the 3rd rock, when it piped up.

"Why, ex-SCAUSE me!"

Susie, not expecting a rock to speak so suddenly, much less one that she was about to launch across the room, stumbled back.

"What the- you can talk?!"

"Why yes, I can talk! I can do A LOT of things!"

"Can you move?"

"Of course!"

"Cool," Susie smiles. "Go press the button."

The rock gasped (how is it gasping? (How is it speaking?)), heavily offended.

"And WHY should I do that? You haven't been the most polite person in THE UNDERGROUND!" It glared(?) at the monster.

"In fact, I think I am much more comfortable staying right where I am!"

Susie huffed angrily as Ralsei ran forwards, immediately attempting to rectify the situation.

"I'm very sorry ma'am-and-or-sir or whatever prefix you use! My friend here simply didn't know you were sentient! I'm sure if she did she wouldn't have even thought about trying to kick you!"

The rock seemed even more offended now.

"So if I was not to speak up for myself and my stoney brethren, we would have all been kicked?! Why, I say!"

Ralsei stuttered, desperately trying to think of an apology before getting picked up by a very annoyed lizard.

Susie, after picking up both Ralsei and Kris and hoisting them onto her shoulders ("Sorry Goaty, you're too big"), she began to walk backwards into the water while flipping the bird to the rock.

She almost dropped Kris while doing so, who would have surely drowned if not for Susie's surprisingly quick reflexes, but that's neither here nor there.

As the 3HotP made their way across the deep waters, which was much deeper than the last spike puzzle and for a part only showed Susie's eyes like a weird little alligator, Asriel sighed.

"Listen, I know you don't want to move, but those three will literally die if I am not with them." He begged before gesturing towards the other side of the moat, where Susie had jumped on the spikes to see how much damage she could take before Ralsei needed to revive her.

"Look at that. They have zero (0) impulse control in their silly little heads."

The rock looked over. Kris was eating moss. There was no moss in this room. How did they get that.

Sighing in defeat, it slowly slid over to the button.

Asriel thanked the rock before passing over, picking up a soaked Susie, who had fallen back into the moat after the spikes lowered.

Once they got to the doorway, Asriel released his grasp on the monster.

Bad move, as immediately Susie attempted to eat the cheese on the wooden table.

Kris, unfazed, immediately saved as Susie managed to pry it off and eat it.

They are filled with determination. And cheese. Susie is filled with cheese.

Old cheese, apparently.

You see, save states didn't heal tummy aches or food poisoning. Kris had learned this long ago. Susie was learning it now.

Gross.

Chapter Text

After a while, Susie had recovered from her ailment (moldy cheese disease), and the team had began their trek through the RUINS. For about 10 seconds. Then they saw a cop lying on the ground.
Susie debated kicking him.

To be fair however, Ralsei didn't know the ghost was a cop.
Neither did the ghost.

Asriel realized once more how bad of an idea it is to put real life irl people into his edgy little middle schooler game.

Welp, not like he could undo it now.

The ghost was very adamantly pretending to be asleep.

He was not doing a very good job.

Zzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzz

"Are-" Susie paused. "Are you really just saying Z outloud? That uh… doesn't work. People don't do that.'

Zeeeeeeeeee
Zeeeezeeeeezeee
Zeeeeee

"That doesn't make it better!!" Susie groaned. "Whatever, doesn't matter."

She cracked her neck. "We gotta get through, move over!"

"Susie, couldn't we just… step through him? He's a ghost."

Ralsei offered, but was quickly shut down by Asriel.

"No?? That's rude."

"But he obviously doesn't want to talk to us?"

"That sounds like a him problem. Kris?" Susie looked back at her friend, who gave a thumbs up and summoned their sword.

God they loved magic.

So sad all the magic died in the war.

Susie cracked her knuckles and kicked Napstablook backwards a space, finally realizing her dream of disrespecting the local authorities.

Here comes Napstablook.

“Oh… I didn’t expect to find anyone in this part of the ruins…”

“Wha-” Susie looked around, gesturing wildly around the area, “-this is like, the only way forward?”

The ghost sighed deeply, despite not needing to breathe at all. “No one really comes through here…”

“The… walk way…?” Ralsei blinked.

As the three bickered, Kris looked over to Asriel, asking what they were supposed to do here.

Asriel didn’t have it in him to tell his sibling that this was actually the intended route, more or less.

Because why would that ever be the intended route.

So instead, he told them the way forward without admitting his unintended bullying of his old classmate.

“You gotta be nice to him? I think?”
Kris nodded, walking towards the battle (of words (and Susie’s occasional axe)).

“Kris, what are you-?”

Kris smiled warmly at the ghost, apologizing for Susie’s earlier behavior. Asriel forgot they knew how to do either of those things.

Ralsei caught on quickly, smiling as well. “Ah, I’m also sorry, Mr. Ghost! We didn’t mean to intrude!”

“I’m not.” Kris stomped on Susie’s foot. “Augh, Shit- Fine! Fine, I’m sorry, too!”

Napstablook blinked, tilting his head. “Oh… really? Then… I want to show you something…”

His tears, which he had been crying this entire time, suddenly started falling upwards, forming a hat.

Kris and Ralsei both complemented the ghost, Susie giving a few claps herself.

“Wow… I came down here trying to not be disturbed… but I met some really nice people today…” He said, before floating away.

Once he went entirely through the wall, Susie looked over to Kris.
“Bootlicker.”

Kris proceeded to slash at her with their sword.

“Police brutality!”

Chapter Text

After a long trek throughout the rest of the RUINS, where Kris found a KNIFE and was very excited about it (It was plastic, which made them less excited), they finally found themselves at the front yard of Toriel’s abode.

Toriel had not expected them to be at her abode.
But here they were.

Whether she wanted em or not.

“Oh, my children! Tell me, are you all alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re doing fine ma’am.” Susie confirmed, looking away awkwardly as she checked the purple dinosaur monster thing over. “Not even a scratch!”

Kris nodded, though they did cause a few scratches. Specifically within the last few minutes. With the knife.

Toriel ended up taking it away before moving on to check Asriel and Ralsei.

“Nice job losing your toy privileges, loser.”
Immediately, Susie fell to the ground. How? Asriel had no idea at all. Even if he did, he wasn’t a snitch.

Ralsei, however, seemed to be. Figures.

“Kris!”

Kris shushed their darkner friend, standing on top of Susie to keep her from getting up.

“Careful, stand on her too heavily and you’ll break her ass again!” Asriel joked before turning to Toriel after hearing her gasp.
Ralsei also gasped but he was like 12 so that was less scary.

“Goaty!” Oh God he forgot about that- “Cursing like that in front of children, have you no shame?”

“And especially while Kri-Frisk-” Nice save, Ralsei. “Is bullying Susie like that!”

“I can’t imagine Susie would appreciate you talking about her that way!”
Asriel looked over to Susie, who currently had Kris in a headlock.
“I uh… don’t think she minds.”

Toriel tsked. “You know, when you assume, all it does is make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’!”

Asriel looked over to Ralsei, but all he did was nod his head in agreement with her.

“You just said ass!”

“Again with the swearing!”

Kris, from their headlock, suddenly stopped what they were doing, remembering that they had been promised a pie.

Yet here they were, dirty and pieless.

Wow, this was just like the time in second grade…

-2nd grade Kris-

“Wow, I’m dirty and pieless”

-current Kris-

“Wait, yeah! We were offered pie!” Susie let go of the human, them immediately falling face first into the dirt.
“Get cleaned up, your face is all muddy! We’re getting pie!”

Toriel turned towards the two as they rushed inside. Asriel could tell she felt nostalgic.
He may or may not know why. (Whoops)

She sighed, before smiling at the two goats still outside.
“Well, I suppose you’ve learned your lesson. Come inside, enjoy some pie with the others.” She smiled warmly at them.
Ralsei followed her inside while Asriel lagged behind, face scrunched up angrily. How did Kris get her smile? He got her FACE! That’s not fair!

“Well, this is new!”

Asriel jumped, turning around towards the voice.

“So many resets, and I’ve never seen any of YOU here before!”

Oh fuck, it’s Flowey. Shit.

Flowey walked (slid? Burrowed??) around Asriel, kind of like a snake (slithered???).

“So, tell me ‘Goaty’, who are you? Surely SOMEONE would’ve noticed you all making your way through the RUINS.”

Asriel looked around anxiously. “T-Tunnel.”

“No it wasn’t??? I am IN THE GROUND, I would KNOW.”

“... Deeper tunnel.”

Flowey yelled out in frustration.

“What is your DEAL?!”

“You tried to kill us??? Like 2 hours ago???”

“That’s like 1/3rd of a fly’s lifetime, get over it!”

Asriel looked down at the flower incredulously. He could stomp this thing like a bug. Morally it would be hard though. That was kind of him? Edgy highschool him, but him nonetheless.

“No??”

“Exactly! So, now that we’re pals again-” No they weren’t?? Where was Toriel. “- Why don’t you really tell me how you got here? I’m assuming it wasn’t from the surface,” Wow, Completely wrong! “If you already know that human. What’s their ‘name’ again? ‘Frink’?”

“No.”

Maybe stomping him wouldn’t be so hard, morally. Toriel was supposed to Fireball him earlier and he was supposed to be fine!

Speaking of-

“Goaty, can you come in here please? I need some… assistance!”

Oh God what did Kris do.

Asriel saluted goodbye to Flowey as he ran inside. “Welp, that's my cue to leave! Please don’t talk to me again!”

When he went inside, he was immediately greeted by Kris being held back by Ralsei as they attempted to eat the pie on the kitchen counter, which- from the looks of it- was still burn-your-entire-tongue-off hot. There was a singular, suspiciously human-like bite taken off of the top.
Off to the side, Susie was cheering them on.

Toriel looked over at Asriel. “Apologies, but you uh…” she looked back towards the crime scene.

Kris was inching ever closer to The Pie. Ralsei would not keep them contained for long.
Especially with Susie prying his fingers off of them.

“... seem to know this group decently well. I was hoping you could… stop them, mayhaps?”

Asriel shook his head. “No one can contain the beast. No one but mom.”

Toriel blinked. “Mom…?”

“Uhhh- their mom! From um.. What they told me! I don’t know their mom! That’d mean I’d be on the surface and I can’t do that ‘cuz the surface is. Uh. Barriered.” Asriel sweat, looking away.

Nailed it.

Toriel slowly nodded, though suspicion was clear in her eyes.
“I… see. Could you mayhaps try, however?”

“It.. uh… might be better off if you tried. For no particular reason.” Asriel deflected. “You seem.. Motherly. Sorry if that’s rude.”

No matter what her choice was, someone had to stop them soon. Ralsei was quickly losing his grip. Susie was laughing louder. The beast was almost free.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Toriel nodded, stepping forward and clearing her throat.
“Frisk, what do you think you’re doing?”

Kris immediately stopped. Oh no. The Mom Voice.

“Kri-Frisk! You can do it! Don’t listen to her! Break free!! The pie is so close!!” Susie called out, desperately trying to get through to her friend.

“Susie, do not encourage them.” Toriel shot her The Look, and she was downed immediately.

It seemed this battle was not one they would win. A critical loss for the 3(4)((2))HotP.

“Alright, I do believe that is enough. If you are all going to act like this, I have no choice but to send you all to bed early.” She shook her head, tone thick with disappointment. “You can have the pie for breakfast tomorrow.”

Kris fell to the ground, devastated. All of the work they had put in, all the time. They had washed their hands for that pie.

They turned to glare at Susie, who was still on the floor. She scoffed, looking away. She knew that the situation was her fault, and Kris would never forgive her. Don’t acknowledge the fact that they had been the one to take the bite out of the pie, Susie had given the dare. Now they would all go pie-less for the whole night and starve.

“Oh, besides you, Ralsei. You shouldn’t be punished for your friend's behavior.”

Nevermind. Ralsei was the enemy now.

Asriel looked over at his not-mom, shocked. “What did I do?!”

Toriel shook her head again. “If you believe I had forgotten your earlier swearing, you are mistaken.” She pointed her finger towards the hallway. “Follow me, you three. It is time for bed.”

Susie picked up Kris, who was still downed from the lack of pie, and began to follow after the goat not-mother-but-kinda-mother (workshopping it). Asriel also followed, grumbling.

Toriel stopped in front of the first door in the hallway, opening it for the 3(4)((2))(((3 but different 3)))HotP, before pausing as she realized that the room in question had been decorated for a singular child, and not three teenagers.

Oopsie.

Toriel coughed, turning to look at the group.
“I will see if I can find any blankets or mattresses, for now why don’t you all take a look around the room? This is where you’ll all be staying, after all!” She encouraged, stepping to the side so they could enter the room.

Asriel hummed as she left, turning to look over at Kris, who looked back and nodded, zipping their lips.

She forgot they were grounded already.

“Welp, we should probably do what she says, since we’re grounded and all.” Susie grumbled, looking around the room as the goat had instructed.

Crap, they forgot about Susie.

Kris shrugged, telling Asriel that they could probably just fill her in later. Besides, it’d keep her from getting them all grounded again. Since it was her fault.

“My fault?!”

Kris looked away from their (definitely not) best friend, remarking that maybe if she hadn’t-

They didn’t get to even finish their narration speech before Susie cut in.

“You were the one running towards that pie in the first place!” She glared, gesturing in the vague direction of the kitchen. “Don’t pin your lack of working snake-jaws on me!”

If Kris remembered correctly, Susie had dared them to do it.

“Yeah, while you were RUNNING TOWARDS THE PIE. You were gonna do it anyways!” She shot back, poking their chest. “What do I look like, your mom? I don’t have horns!”

Kris demanded Susie leave their mom out of this.

Asriel, despite knowing he should probably break this up, snuck out of the room to let the two fight it out. All good friendships have a good fight over nothing now and then. He looked down the hallway, checking to make sure that Toriel didn’t see him. Whether or not she remembered their recent grounding, he didn’t want to risk her remembering and sending him back in.

He made his way down the hallway, noting the Typha (more commonly known as the Water Sausage (at least to him)) right next to the room they were going to be staying in as he walked towards the mirror.

He’d have to remember to keep an eye on Kris when they eventually left the room. He really didn’t want to deal with them coughing up the seed fluff again.
That was such a waste of a weekend.

It did make a REALLY good reference for the buttercups thing though, so he couldn’t be too mad.

He wished they’d stop endangering themselves over non-edible flora, though.

He turned to look at himself in the mirror once he reached the end of the hall, and took 20 hit points upon coming face to face with the God of Hyperdeath.
His edgy middle school self-insert.

Kris was right. He did look like a loser. Oh Angel above-

He was brought out of his thoughts by the creak of the door closest to him.

He made eye contact with Toriel, who was currently dragging a couch out of the room.

They looked at each other for a moment before Asriel looked down at the couch.

“Would you… like any help with that?”

“Yes, I would appreciate it.” Toriel nodded, smiling warmly at him. He smiled back, moving to pick up the other half of the couch. It brought back memories of the time they all had to swap their kitchen and living room because Kris had gotten tall enough to reach the window sill, and kept burning themselves eating the pies mom would make.

Truly, nothing had changed.

The thought made him a little teary eyed, if he was being honest. Kris had been more stressed due to highschool, and he was getting worried. Luckily, their friends seemed to have been helping them through it.

“My child, are you alright?”

He looked up at Toriel, and noticed he was no longer holding his end of the couch. He looked down at his foot.

Oh, maybe that’s why he was getting teary eyed.

Ow.