Work Text:
Buzzfeed Celeb ✔️
Today we are hosting the MSBY once again 4 to play truth or drink.
And let’s just say…
… it is still the black jackals even after a year of Hinata Shoyou playing for São Paulo
Please drink responsibly!
Hinata: guess who is back in Japan?
Atsumu: Oh Tobio-kun is back?
Hinata: shut up - anywho I am back with the Jackals again! In the end I missed the chaos and while São Paulo
Sakusa: oh peace and quiet I will miss you
Bokuto: didn‘t you and Tsumu just have a sock race like 1 month ago?
Sakusa: That was my twin
Atsumu: I am the twin not you
Sakusa: you don‘t know me at all.
Atsumu: I‘m your fiancé?
Sakusa: so?
Hinata: can‘t believe you two still didn‘t get married. Smh
Atsumu: don‘t “smh“ my love life!
Hinata: I do what I want smh
Sakusa: can we just do this?
Bokuto: Imagine not being married in this economy
Hinata: Yeah!
[Bokuto and Hinata fist bump - two shiny rings are visible]
Atsumu: We can‘t all just decide to get married after getting gold.
Hinata: you should
Sakusa: seriously can we just start this. I want to go home
Bokuto: Alright before Omi-kun gets any grumpier! Today we are doing truth or drink!
Hinata: what‘s your drink?
Atsumu: bailees
Sakusa: wine
Bokuto: isn‘t that the stupidly expensive Wine Hinata got you from Brazil?
Sakusa: so?
Bokuto: Keiji got me this
[he shows the camera a bottle with ominous liquid]
Bokuto: and I am scared so…
Hinata: because I know Keiji and his tendency to be a little devil. I brought extra cocktails
Bokuto: it could taste
Sakusa: You sound too uncertain
Hinata: In the worst case I will just drink both Cocktails. I don’t mind at all!
Atsumu: alcoholic behaviour
Atsumu: Have you ever broken the law? And if so why?
Hinata: breaking in I guess?
Sakusa: shiratori does not count
Hinata: well then
[he tips his glass and drinks a sip]
Atsumu (chuckling): aren‘t you and Tooru not allowed in multiple clubs in Brazil?
Hinata: shut up and drink
Atsumu: actually I didn‘t break the law
Bokuto: That feels like a lie
Atsumu: rude?
Bokuto: can you fault me?
Atsumu: fair - but for real I don‘t think I ever broke the law… I mean Samu and I got in a shitload of fights so perhaps assaulting the other?
Sakusa: doesn‘t really fit your reputation but I‘ll take it - as for me I need to confess that I may have smuggled sanitiser onto a plane
Atsumu: not surprised
Bokuto: does that really count through?
Sakusa: No idea but I have confessed my sins
Bokuto: well
[Bokuto takes a sip just to make a face and gladly accepts the cocktail Hinata shoves into his hand]
Hinata: knew it! Keiji is such a distinguished demon
Sakusa: that was to be expected
Atsumu: okay Bo what did ya do ta make Aka-Kun revert to petty setter?
Bokuto: It was Kuroos fault
Hinata: to quote Kenma: “When is it not?“
Bokuto: true
[Sakusa and Atsumu just stare at each other - confused]
Hinata: what‘s the last thing you googled?
[Hinata, Bokuto and Saksua take out their phones while Atsumu takes a sip - the other three just staring at him.]
Atsumu: I will not elaborate
Hinata: okay but is it because it‘s embarrassing or horny?
Atsumu: SHOYOU!
[Hinata and Bokuto laugh while Sakusa faintly smiles]
Atsumu: I hate you all… it was just embarrassing
[Sakusa scrolls through the phone]
Sakusa: “lyrics for song going dun dun dun“
[Atsumu attempts to snatch the phone (that has been deciphered as Atsumu’s) while Bokuto and Hinata double over laughing - and Sakusa just looks smug]
Bokuto: okay but what song was it?
Atsumu: Hate y‘all
Hinata: well leaving that - mine was: “Kageyama-Hinata Tobio“ because the media didn‘t get the memo that we are married. In case you did not know My name is technically, legally Hinata-Kageyama Shoyou because double names
Bokuto: their marriage preparation was just screaming their own last names at each other to try and chose which one the other should take
Atsumu: so yeah - if you didn‘t know and Shoyou didn‘t flex enough - he and Tobio-kun are married
Sakusa: perhaps I googled: “Atsumu being stupid“
Bokuto falls over laughing
Hinata: no way!
Atsumu: this is slander! I'm leaving
[Atsumu stands up and marches away while the other three Jackals high five]
[Atsumu is back in his chair, pouting]
Atsumu: Captain said I "need to finish what I have started". Meian-san may I add that I am just dragged here because people like me?
Meian: just shut up atsumu
Atsumu: rude
Bokuto picks up a paper and snorts
Bokuto: this is about to be really intersting: "weirdest/ most eccentric place you ever had sex In?"
Inunaki: there is no way pr allowed this question
Meian: they did...
Inunaki: 4 years of Miya Atsumu does things to you huh?
Meian: it's been 4 years already? No wonder I have grey hairs
Thomas: to be fair though - out juniors together are chaos
Inunaki: yeah It takes two - or well in this case four - to tango
Bokuto: I need to point out that both Atsumu as well as Sho drank
Oliver: goddamnit
Sakusa: I want to drink but I also feel the need to do the opposite of Tsumu...
Hinata: dilemma
Bokuto: tell us!
Atsumu: do not!
Sakusa: ...
Sakusa: the locker rooms
Meian: OH COME ON!!!
Inunaki: yucky!
Thomas: you didnt just say yucky
Oliver: no I'm with shion here
Hinata: Captain! Can we get a new locker room?
Meian: I hope so
Atsumu: I hate it here - also Shoyou I know for a fact that you ain't talking
Hinata: I never called myself innocent but at least it wasn't our locker room
Atsumu: why was your emphasis on "our" SHOYOU???
Hinata (visibly embarrassed): I think you already know
Sakusa: gross
Inunaki: says YOU?
Thomas: that is quite the double standard
Oliver: you two are the worst - I meant SakuAtsu for everyone’s information
Meian: can we even upload this?
Bokuto: while they all argue I will just answer: perhaps it was at Tetsurous place because he annoyed Keiji
Hinata: keiji is a petty bitch
Bokuto: once again:
All in unison: it was kuroos fault
Sakusa: this one isn't bad: "the first thing you found attractive about your partner?"
[Bokuto drinks to the surprise of everybody]
Bokuto: I want to go on an elaborate rant but given the little time we have and the fact that I know my friends hate me for them I will just refrain from gushing about my husband and be happy knowing that he married me
Hinata: awww Bokuto-san that's so sweet! I think for me it was his aura? Like this regal aura he emitted - No wait! That was what intrigued me but attractive... I think his natural smile after we grabbed meatbuns for the first time
Atsumu: these are all so wholesome and I'm just out here saying "thighs"
Hinata: I mean...
Bokuto: thats fair
Sakusa: I hate you all
Oliver: they aren't wrong though?
[Sakusa shows Oliver the middle finger]
Sakusa: physically I suppose it was your smile... and personality wise your determination...
Atsumu: now I jus feel bad yknow?
Sakusa (smiling): don't be
[Inunaki makes fake vomiting sounds prompting two censored middle fingers]
Hinata: your guilty pleasure?
Sakusa: can I say cleaning?
Bokuto: no thats cheating
Sakusa: damn it
Atsumu: for me it's annoying my twin
Boktui: also doesn't count - needs to be something you don't do regularly
Atsumu: fuck
Hinata: I can't really think of something right now so I will drink - but just because I am stupid
Bokuto: I will join you my student!
Sakusa: guess I will be joing the himbos
Atsumu: same
Meian: at least you're honest
Atsumu: who has the best humour in this room?
Bokuto: out of us four?
Atsumu: makes the most sense I guess
[All speak at once]
Sakusa: Hinata
Bokuto: Atsumu
Hinata: Omi-san
Atsumu: Bokuto
Bokuto: why do I always get the sexual ones... "do you have any kinks?"
Hinata: in my shoulders? Yeah
Atsumu: damnit Sho - please visit Enno-kun
Hinata: yeah... I really should.
Sakusa: yes
[Confused sounds come from the front and the back of the camera]
Sakusa: it asked "if" not "which"
Bokuto: if I ever need to evade some questions I'll come to you Omi-kun
Sakusa: feel free
Bokuto: that said... yeah but don't dump on vanilla either!
Inunaki: Seriously? PR APPROVED?
Meian (defeated): yeah...
Atsumu: yup
Hinata: don‘t downplay vanilla but ye
Meian: concern for the locker rooms arise once again
Atsumu: shut up you're not even in the frame
Meian: more fun to judge you from here
Sakusa (snorting): have you ever fallen asleep during sex?
Hinata: jetlag.
Bokuto: I fell asleep right after... but like before cleaning and just - knocked out
Atsumu: ... yeah
Sakusa: you snore
Atsumu: shut the fuxk up!
Sakusa: no
Atsumu: do you belive in soulmates?
Sakusa: no
Atsumu: lies!
[Sakusa drinks]
Bokuto: you couldve just said yes - not like we dont see you two being sickeningly domestic
Hinata: True
Meian: almost makes me feel single when I am the one married and a dad while yhese dorks are still "only" fiancés
Sakusa: can I finally go home?
Atsumu: no
Sakusa: damnit
Atsumu: also yes
[Hinata and Bokuto both nod]
Bokuto: Rare talent?
Hinata: I can learn languages really well... just not in school
Bokuto: didn't you fail English? And Japanese too?
[Hinata drinks]
Sakusa: I might be able to play the violin and piano...
Atsumu: yea Omi-kuns a rich kid
Sakusa: I hate you
Bokuto: I can bond with every animal
Inunaki: for real - he sees an animal and it sees him and its just instant bonding
Atsumu: I'm good at calligraphy
Hinata: Weirdest impulse buy?
Thomas: man I wish that Inu would answer that
Atsumu: this ain‘t bout you so shut up.
Inunaki: I agree Adriah what the fuck?
Oliver: no no I‘m with Adriah Shioooon ~
Inunaki: GET AWAY FROM ME!
[the camera turns around, showing Inunaki shoving Meian in front of him while Oliver stalks towards him. Meian seems to have given up on live while Thoma just smiles]
Hinata: oh god. For legal reasons I am unable to really answer this because I‘m not saying that I have ADHD but I‘m also not saying that I don‘t have ADHD and may or may not have ventured into useless online shopping because dopamine.
Bokuto: same
Sakusa: listen. After Accepting the 5th packet of the day filled with pillows I honestly stopped being surprised.
Bokuto: but that had a purpose!
Sakusa: If you say pillow fort I will actually commit a crime
Bokuto:
Sakusa: Bokuto-san.
Bokuto: for legal reasons I can‘t say anything
Sakusa: I hat this fucking team
Meian: LANGUAGE!
Sakusa: what are you? Captain America Kinnie?
Meian: shut the fuck up
Sakusa: Language
Meian: you are such an asshole
Sakusa: perhaps
Atsumu: I once brought two huge corkboards because I wanted to do a map of the world and now they are getting dusty
Hinata: SO THATSWHY YOU HAVE CORKBOARD!
Atsumu: yeah…
Bokuto: Now I wanna do that!
[Hinata and Bokuto look at each other, nodding before turning to the camera again]
Oliver: Oh no.
Meian: to everyone not knowing why this is so horrible. It‘s because these two are now set to doing something which means that practice will be missing two members
Atsumu: isn‘t it the off season anyways?
Meian: Shhhh!
Bokuto: Well Caffeine and the world map it is!
Atsumu: Okay but where would you put it?
Hinata: living room?
Bokuto: living room!
Atsumu: man I keep forgetting you two share one braincell
Sakusa: bold of you to assume these two have a braincell left to share. Bokuto-san offered all his Braincells to Akaashi-san at the altar and KageHina have one volleyball shaped braincell that is useless for real life
Bokuto: well that‘s rude!
Sakusa: your point?
Bokuto: nothing have a good day
Sakusa: damn right
Atsumu: You haven‘t said anything about your most impulsive buy!
[Sakusa stares Atsumu directly in the eyes and continues with the most monotone voice ever recorded.]
Sakusa: the wedding ring.
Atsumu: I-
Bokuto: holy shit!
Hinata: and that‘s a K.O. May you rest in piece Atsumu-san
Meian: goddamn it
Oliver: that‘s gay!
Inunaki: we are gay!
Thomas: I‘m not
Inunaki: really?
Thomas: fine
Oliver: I‘m straight!
Meian: same
Inunaki: yeah thats kinda homophobic of you both
Meian: I have a wife?
Oliver: … I have no defence your honour
Atsumu: to be fair - if you were fruity I‘m sure many twinks would find you attractive
[Atsumu gives the camera two thumbs up]
[Sakusa snickers]
Sakusa: you‘d talk from experience
Atsumu: I fuckin hate ya!
Sakusa: Prettiest room?
Bokuto: I have no fucking Idea…
[Bokuto drinks]
[The other three follow suit]
Oliver: count on you four to drink at that
Atsumu: Genshin Impact main?
Sakusa: I don‘t play -
Atsumu: his main is Xiao and his constellation is like at 5?
Hinata: what the fuck??
Bokuto: I have a C6 Qiqi!
Hinata: how much money do you have?
Bokuto: more like how many 50/50 did I lose? But it‘s okay I love my tiny Zombie
Hinata: my main is Amber because I love my Girl!
Sakusa: I can respect the fuck out of that
Hinata: she‘s my sub-DPS but I still love her so much!
Atsumu: my main is …
[Atsumu drinks]
Inunaki: 10$ says he can‘t remember
Oliver: nah it‘s always changing
Thomas: I‘m with Oliver here
Inunaki: that‘s homophobic. This is Illegal!
Atsumu: well sorry Wan-san
Inunaki: fuck this shit I‘m out!
Hinata: have you ever been dedicated to annoy the living shit out of someone?
Atsumu: I have a twin. Duh
Sakusa: you do that to me every day
Atsumu: you love me!
Sakusa: I do but that. Has nothing to do with this
Oliver: caught in 4K
Bokuto: dead meme
Inunaki: BOOOO!
Thomas: didn‘t you leave like 5 minutes ago?
Inunaki: yeah but cap forced me back and now I have decided to make it everyone’s problem!
Meian: goddamnit
Inunaki: your fault
Thomas: well I am happy you‘re here
Inunaki: ADRIAH!
Hinata: that‘s gay not gonna lie
Sakusa: I have only had someone annoy the shit out of me - Motoya
Hinata: talk about a topic change
Atsumu: That is untrue - not what Shoyou said because that is the truth but Omi-omi! I know for a fact that you are such a big shit inside of your cool, stoic facade
Sakusa: you will hear from my lawyer for breaking §186 in the German book of law
Atsumu: why German?
Sakusa: ask my lawyer
Meian: okay that was a way too quick answer - how often have you threatened to sue someone already?
Sakusa: You will hear from my lawyer
Oliver: yeah whatever but why the fuck did you chose “badmouthing“ as your standard paragraph?
Sakusa: okay how the fuck do you know that this is §186?
Oliver: I spent some years in Germany?
Sakusa: okay but why that paragraph?
Oliver: right back at you
Sakusa: alright then keep your secrets
Hinata: I‘m drinking right now, but not because I won‘t answer but rather because I‘m confused as shit
[Hinata drinks and so do Atsumu and Bokuto]
Bokuto: Kuroo.
Hinata: short answer and it perfectly conveys your pain.
[Hinata pats Bokuto‘s back understandingly]
Atsumu: what the?
[Atsumu drinks again]
Hinata: My husband is a menace
Atsumu: didn‘t you move like all the furniture in first your rooms no then the living room making everyone stumble and fall?
Bokuto: I didn‘t
Atsumu: shut!
Hinata: listen. I have ADHD
Atsumu: thats not an answer for everything???
Hinata: I needed to do something because dopamine and then I did it!
Atsumu: ohhhh! Okay thats valid. But please message the GC like: Hey I re-arranged all the furniture so we don’t fucking fall
Hinata: sorry
Atsumu: don’t worry okay?
Sakusa: remember everyone watching to communicate your issues and don‘t bottle them up! I am apparently doing this alone because Hinata and Atsumu are cuddling because Hina feels bad. And Bokuto-san… I don‘t even want to know to be honest.
[Sakusa shakes his head, a fond smile is visible]
Sakusa: neurodivergency is not something bad, but in this current society everyone is expected to act like neurotypicals do and as such it can be hard. But remember that you are still just as valid! Also take mental illnesses seriously because goddamnit I am tired of my teammates and friends‘ feeling being dismissed because it‘s ‘not physical‘ and they should ‘snap out of it!‘
[Sakusa sighs]
Sakusa: I have absolutely no clue what inspired that rant but really. Take care yes?
