Chapter Text
When the screen of his phone finally lights up, Andrew immediately checks it.
Neil: Landed, by baggage claim
Andrew looks around anxiously and immediately spots that all too familiar mop of auburn hair. He heads over slowly and watches as Neil drags a suitcase off the belt and pulls the handle up. When he turns around they immediately lock eyes.
Neil hurries over towards Andrew, a huge smile on his face distracting from the black eye and bruises all over his face. His lip was split and he had a cut across his eyebrow and forehead. Combined with his old scars he looked like an action movie hero, or an apocalypse survivor from the movies.
He looked stomach churningly similar to how he did after Baltimore.
"Neil," Andrew says calmly, even though his insides are churning with a mix of so many emotions he can't count them.
"Andrew," Neil grins as he stops in front of him. "Can I hug you?"
"Yes," Andrew says, though he can’t help rolling his eyes. He opens his arms and Neil immediately tucks himself into them, wrapping his arms around Andrews waist. He doesn't hug to tightly and is careful not to trap to much of his body against Andrews, and Andrews heart swells with the fact that even after the years apart Neil still respects his boundaries.
He lets go far to quickly for Andrews liking, but he doesn't protest. "I've missed you," Neil admits sheepishly.
"I've missed you too," Andrew forces himself to say. He's been discussing this interaction with Bee everyday since Neil called; granted, that’s only 2 days but still. Honestly, he's been talking about this with her since he realised what a huge idiot he was for pushing Neil away.
After the 4 years of extensive therapy, Andrew had gotten a lot better at expressing his emotions. Neil looks thrown back by the fact that Andrew had admitted he missed him, but doesn't say anything, just smiles wider.
"We should head out of here, Ive never liked airports," Neil says adjusting the strap of his duffel bag.
Andrew nods and takes the suitcase from Neil and drags it next to him as he starts to head out to his car. They don't say anything else until Andrew has put Neils two bags in the trunk of his Maserati-not the same one as from college, that one got totalled when someone t-boned him-and they're both seated in his car.
"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay with you?" Neil asked, suddenly looking much more nervous than before.
"Yes," Andrew says pulling out of the parking spot and then out of the lot.
"Thank you," Neil said quietly. "I just didn't really know who else to call."
Andrew swallows the lump in his throat. "I'm glad you did."
"Even after all these years you were still the first person I thought of when I was in trouble," Neil sighs shaking his head in disbelief and reminiscence. "Says a lot doesn't it?"
Andrew doesn't know what to say to that, so he takes his time to decide before he opens his mouth. "I'll always have your back Neil, a promise is a promise."
Neil laughs, "Still as stubborn as always."
Andrew smirks, "You really think that would have changed?"
"No," Neil shrugs. "I'm glad it didn't."
They don't talk for the rest of the drive to Andrews apartment. They sit in comfortable silence, like they always did when they were in college. Andrew carries up Neils suitcase while Neil carries his duffle, old habits die hard.
Andrew unlocks his front door and pushes it open, but Neil doesn't follow right away. He sets the suitcase down and looks up at Neil questioningly.
"Come on in, I'll show you to your room," Andrew finally says, hoping that will snap him out of whatever trance he seems to have dragged himself into.
Neil shakes his head to clear his thoughts and follows Andrew inside, closing the door behind him.
"It's just down the hall," Andrew said leading Neil down to his spare room. He had decorated it blandly just so it wasn't so empty for Neil, but not so that he felt he was invading a personal space. "You can decorate it how ever you like, I don't care."
Neil smiled softly as he looked around and set his duffel down on the bed. "It's perfect, thank you Andrew."
Andrew grunted in response as he set Neils suitcase down by the closet. "Are you hungry? I can make us dinner," Andrew asked.
"Starving," Neil chuckled and followed Andrew out to the kitchen. Neil took off his jacket and set it on the back of his chair as he sat down. Andrew couldn't help but stair at the finger shaped bruises mixing with Neils scars up and down his arms. Neil seemed to notice him staring because he blushed red and crossed his arms. "I'm surprised you haven't asked yet," he said, his eyes looking any where but at Andrews.
"Do you want me to ask?" Andrew asked.
Neil shrugged, "I'm not sure, but you can."
Andrew took a moment to decide how to ask, and if he really was going to. "Was he always like that?" Andrew finally asked.
Neil thought for a moment, chewing his lower lip. "No, first year of our relationship he was sweet," Neil said. "Then he slowly started showing his true colors, but I was already stuck."
"You should have called me the first time he hit you," Andrew found him self saying, than regretted it because Neil flinched back from his words. Besides, Neil can take care of himself, he just sometimes needed a helping hand. Someone to remind him he wasn’t alone, didn’t need to run off on his own.
"I thought about it, but I was still determined he would go back to his normal self."
Andrew grunted and turned around to start making dinner.
"I called Matt one time, just to talk to him not even to tell him what was going on, but James came home early and wasn't happy I was talking to another guy. He made me block all the foxes after that, even the girls," Neil continued. "He made me delete your number."
Andrew turned around and quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Than how did you call me?"
Neil scratched the back of his head and blushed. "Ive had your number memorised for years," he admitted.
"Good," Andrew said turning back around to continue cooking.
"Yeah, it came in handy didn't it?" he said lightly like it was supposed to be a joke but there was no humour in it. “Good thing you haven’t changed your number.”
Andrew could feel the white hot anger boiling just under skin, it had been there ever since Neil had called him two days ago crying and begging him to get him out of his house. Neil had been too shaken to tell him much at the time, all he had said was his Fiancé beat him and needed to get out. Andrew didn't need to be told twice, he got online and bought Neil a plane ticket.
"Do you want to know what happened when I called you?" Neil asked.
"Yes," Andrew admitted. "If you want to talk about it."
Neil sighed. "I need to try at least," he said, resting his head in his hands. "One of my friends from my team had stopped by to visit since it was the off season, but James happened to be out for god knows what. I told them they couldn't stay long and gave some bullshit excuse but really it was just that James didn't like me hanging out with people if he wasn't there or hadn't given me permission.
"Right when Riley was leaving James walked in and saw him and blew up. He kicked Riley out and turned on me screaming accusing me of cheating on him and shit. I tried to tell him he had just stopped by but he didn't believe me, he started throwing things at me and got me pinned to the wall. He was yelling and screaming and hitting me and didn't know what to do, I was just frozen in place like I always got with him. I called you when I woke up on the floor covered in blood. He had beaten me till I passed out and then some."
Andrew hadn't realised he was clenching his fists until he felt his nails digging into his palms. He had to take a few breaths before he could even consider responding to that. "If I had known all that I would flew there myself right then and there," Andrew growled.
"That's why I didn't tell you," Neil said, suddenly right behind Andrew. "Also I didn't know if I would have even been able to get it out."
Andrew turned around to face him, Neils face was shiny and streaked with tears that fell down over the bruises. Andrew reached out and wiped them away before he could stop himself. Before he could pull his hand away Neil grabbed his hand and held it to the side of his face, closing his eyes and leaning into Andrew touch.
Neil seemed to realise what he was doing quickly though because he dropped Andrews hand and stepped back. "Shit sorry, I didn't ask," Neil apologised quickly, blushing in embarrassment. "It's just been a while that someone's touched me gently."
Andrew took a step forward to close the distance. He put his hand back out, "Yes or no?"
Neil looked back up from the floor to meet Andrews eyes. He smiled softly, "Yes."
Andrew cupped Neils face again in his hands, tracing his thumbs gently over Neils cheek bones. He decided to hold the other side with other hand as well and Neil melts against his touch. It almost like it was back in college. Almost.
"You look tired," Andrew points out. "Go lay down while I make dinner, I'll wake you when I'm done."
Neil nods and reluctantly backs out of Andrews touch, heading down the hall to his room. Andrews sighs and goes back to making dinner.
The next week goes by. . . Strangely. Neil and Andrew adjust to each other extremely quickly, almost going back to how they were back in college.
Although Andrew still had nightmares, they aren't nearly as bad as they were. Neils' seem to have gotten worse. Neil ends up in Andrews bed twice from his nightmares, mostly because he woke Andrew up because he fell out bed and hit his head on the night stand. The second time because he woke up with a scream that also woke Andrew up.
Both times Andrew went running to check on him and found Neil in the midst of a panic attack and had to talk him down. He then would drag Neil back to his room with him where he'd allow Neil to rest his head on Andrew chest to sleep. This meant Andrew didn’t get more sleep those nights since he wasn't used to the feeling of the weight of Neil next to him anymore, but Andrew didn't mind. He knew Neil needed someone right now and he was more than willing to be that someone.
This night was only slightly different. When Neil woke up from his nightmare in the midst of a panic attack, instead of waiting it out on his own in his own room he had stumbled into Andrews at 3 in the morning.
"D-Drew," he stuttered as he walked into his bed room.
Andrew jolted awake but quickly calmed down when he realised who it was. It was just Neil, a panicking, fear stricken Neil.
"Come here," Andrew said sitting up and pulling back the covers for Neil.
Neil immediately crawled in next to Andrew, pulling him self into the blondes side and burying his face in his chest. Andrew placed his hand firmly on the back of Neils neck, dragging his nails softly across the bottom of his hair line.
"Breath Neil," he ordered in a gentle voice. "I'm right here."
Neil took a shaky breath, his grip on Andrews nightshirt tightening like it was what he was drawing his oxygen from. He took shaky breath after shaky breath until they became more relaxed, not getting stuck in his lungs so that he had to force them out.
"There you go," Andrew said, finally breathing easier himself. "That's it."
"Thank you," Neil said bring a hand up to wipe away his tears. "I can go back to my room if you want."
"You can stay," Andrew replied easily, not even having to think about it. He laid back down, Neil staying firmly on his chest.
"Thank you," Neil said again.
It didn't taken long for him to fall back asleep, and Andrew felt him self drifting too. He didn't think he would readjust to having Neil on him again so quickly, but apparently he does. He never was able to quite fall asleep fully, but he was able to drift.
The next morning Neil woke up with a groan as he pushed his head into Andrews chest harder as if that would make him go back to sleep.
"Morning," Andrew said quietly.
"Shut up," Neil muttered, still half asleep.
Andrew snorted but didn't say anything else, just let Neil wake up on his own. Eventually Neil opened his eyes and looked up at Andrew.
"You look tired again," he pointed out.
"Okay," Andrew said.
"Did you get any sleep after I woke you up?" Neil asked.
"A bit," Andrew said.
Neil frowned, "I miss the Andrew that never lied."
"I'm not lying," Andrew said. "I've gotten more used you to again."
Neil blushed a bit and looked away. Andrew expected him to get up but instead he put his arm over Andrews waist lightly. "Is this okay?" he asks.
"Yes," Andrew replies, allowing Neil to pull himself closer to Andrew.
Neil sighs contently as he rested his head in the crook of Andrews neck. "I've missed this," he says softly.
"Cuddling?" Andrew asks.
"Yeah, but I was talking about you," Neil admits. "I don't think I ever got over you."
Andrew decided Neil just still be half asleep if he's making confessions like this, not that he minds though.
"Me neither," Andrew says.
"Why'd you leave me?" Neil asks, pulling his eyes up to look at Andrew. He looked like he had just asked a question that had been weighing heavily on his mind for a long time.
Andrew takes a deep breath, "I was scared."
"Of what?"
"What the future would be like with you," Andrew admits.
"Why didn't you just talk to me?" Neil asks.
"I don't know, but I regretted it as soon as you stopped calling. I knew I had made a mistake but I didn't know how to fix it."
Andrew had hated himself for the past 4 years for ghosting Neil like that. Andrew always thought regret was a stupid emotion and he didn't believe in it, that is until he pushed Neil away.
He's tried to find ways to talk to him but he never followed through. When it came out that Neil was in a relationship a year and half ago, he knew he had lost all his chances. Then when Neil called two days ago crying and begging him to help him, he couldn't help but hope that it was a sign that him and Neil really were meant to be together like he had always believed.
"You could have called," Neil says meekly. "Every time my phone rang I answered in case it was you."
"I'm sorry," Andrew says.
Finally looking down he realised Neil was crying.
"I only stayed with James cause I thought he was the best I deserved," Neil admits. "I thought I had done something wrong and hurt you. I grew up around violence so I didn't even think twice the first time James hit me. I just assumed that you were my one chance, and that violence was just a part of relationships.”
Andrew subconsciously tightened his hold around Neil protectively. "You don't deserve that."
Neil shrugs. "I thought I did, it took him beating me unconscious for me to realise that I was wrong."
"Your safe now, I won't let him touch you ever again," Andrew growls.
Neil smiles against Andrews chest. "I know that's why I called, I didn't think it would end up with me in your bed like this but I knew you'd keep me safe. That's just who you are."
Andrew pulled Neils chin up gently so that they were nose to nose. "I kiss you, yes or no?" he asked.
Neil grinned, "Yes."
Andrew pulled Neil up and connected their lips. Neil immediately melted into the kiss, going pliant in Andrews arms and opening his mouth to allow Andrews tongue in.
They stayed like that for a while, when they finally pulled away Neil was blushing and smiling at Andrew like an idiot.
"Stop looking at me like that," Andrew said kissing Neil again so he didn't have to see that dopey smile on his face any more. Of course when they pulled away again it was still there. "I hate you," Andrew grumbled pulling Neil closer.
"I love you too," Neil grinned.