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what's a cleanboi

Summary:

the lang and friends heist crew learns what it means to be a femly. spoiler: it's a fucking disaster.

or: one-shots of the bois. cross-posted on twitter.

Notes:

hi! i'm putting all of my twtfics here for archiving purposes, and also to see how much i write for gta. they will be posted as is, but maybe some might contain a few edits here and there. i'll also be dating the chapters as they were originally tweeted. keep in mind that this is in no way polished at all, some of them contain ideas or concepts that i don't flesh out as much as my fics.

hope you enjoy reading!

Chapter 1: good morning, soldier

Summary:

raymond romanov gets out of parsons.

Notes:

inspired by this tweet.

Chapter Text

"Good morning, Soldier."

Raymond Ro Callsign 497 opens his eyes after hearing the sharp Russian command, greeting his superior back while getting up from his bed. He immediately stands at attention and waits for new orders.

"You're getting out today, Soldier," drones the doctor, checking their clipboard. They pause, looking up at him and wildly grinning. "Are you ready?"

497 jerks his head in a nod.

"Lang Buddha is outside and waiting for you." The hungry glint in their eyes might have once chilled Raymond Romanov and make him raise his gun, but 497 is unaffected and impassive, too used to the insanity that echoes his own. The Soldier quickly gathers his things while two years of information is relayed to him, shouldering his bag as he waits for his handler to walk. He follows them, one step to the right and two steps behind, processing all the intel he has missed while he resided in Parsons.

At the door separating him and his old family, the doctor stops him. "Make good on your promise and report to us after your...plan."

The expressionless mask breaks, and a smile plays on the corner of 497's lips. "Of course," he says in a heavy accent. "I'll come back immediately after."