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Hua Cheng flicked off his robes and stood in front of the mirror, shifting through his forms. Which one was best for his highness?
His first impulse was the one he had greeted his god with on the ox cart all those years ago but… he’d known for some time now that was not the correct answer, even if Xie Lian would never say it outright.
Sighing, he let his true form emerge, touching beneath his missing eye thoughtfully. With a careful crafting of spiritual energy, he put a proper eye there, though not red the way his original had been. One that matched.
But Xie Lian didn’t care if he matched.
Hua Cheng let the false eye fade, fingers drifting over the old scarring there instead. Xie Lian liked to kiss it when they headed to bed at night and before he covered it in the mornings. Xie Lian liked it. Even if it was unsightly.
He let his gaze trail over the rest of him. He could be broader if Xie Lian liked. More muscled perhaps? Xie Lian had found his child forms cute so maybe he’d prefer if Hua Cheng was shorter? He could just—
With a frown, Hua Cheng banished that line of thought and headed towards the baths. Shifting forms wasn’t for Xie Lian, no matter how much Hua Cheng might claim otherwise. He changed skins because he liked it. And if he liked it then Xie Lian would be happy, Hua Cheng knew but…
But this form… this form was his truest self and that was the best one he had as an offering to his god, no matter how unsightly he found it.
”San Lang is so handsome like this.” Xie Lian’s soft words rang out in his memory. Their first night together in the cottage Xie Lian had built for them. Xie Lian with his hair loose and eyes soft and hands so gentle as they cupped his cheek. Looking at Hua Cheng like he was the most precious treasure in the world. ”So beautiful.”
Snapping himself out of the past, Hua Cheng got to work on the present. His hair was neatly tied out of the way before stepping into the water. He could have allowed it to get wet and dried it with his spiritual energy but… there was a ritual to this. He wanted to do it right.
Hua Cheng reminded himself to be gentle as he lathered his imperfect form in the soft floral scent of their soaps. He had to be gentle. Like he was washing Xie Lian. Because this body was Xie Lian’s. An offering he gave again and again. It wouldn’t do to ruin his offering with harsh hands.
In their eight hundred years apart, Hua Cheng had learned well how to make sure others did not disrespect him. But as Xie Lian’s husband and most devoted follower, Hua Cheng was learning how to not disrespect himself.
”Why do you always tell people you’re a bad person?”
“Because I am,” Hua Cheng grinned, but he felt his grin slipping at the sad look in his husband’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“San Lang isn’t bad.” Xie Lian said seriously.
He tried to laugh it off. “I thought gege liked his Ghost King to be a bit bad?”
Xie Lian did not laugh with him. “I love San Lang very much. I wish he’d love himself too.”
Hua Cheng hadn’t known how to argue that. So he hadn’t. Instead, he’d listened. He’d let his god’s words guide him as they always had. And with those words as a guide, he began to practice how to treat this self he had spent so many years despising with love instead. It was still a work in progress, but Xie Lian was patient with him.
Stepping out of the water, Hua Cheng dried himself off just as gently, taking care to wipe off stray drops of water as though his body were a fragile thing. It took longer this way. It could be a bit annoying. But it was full of intent and devotion. And it felt nice.
Usually Hua Cheng would dress with his powers the same as he’d stripped with them. On days like this he dressed layer by layer though, hands careful and reverent as he would be with Xie Lian’s own dressing.
Every layer made the humble offering of his body more spectacular.
Tugging down his hair, he looked over his perfectly put together form in the mirror. He wanted to cover his right eye but… Xie Lian liked to see it. Hua Cheng tried to see himself through his husband’s eyes. Tried to remember the parts of him Xie Lian liked.
Xie Lian always stared at his legs. Always played with his hands. Kissed his widow’s peak. Ran his fingers through his hair.
Though he had married a shapeshifter and could have perfectly crafted Hua Cheng’s looks to exactly his type, Xie Lian never expressed interest in changing a thing. Even in his other skins Xie Lian was quick to find things to love about them.
It was rare his god actually expressed an outright interest in one thing over another when it came to how Hua Cheng presented himself. In trying to figure out how to please him best, Hua Cheng had gotten used to reading between the lines of little comments for scraps of clues.
Xie Lian hummed, hugging him closer.
“What is it, gege?”
“You smell different.”
Hua Cheng raised a brow. “I would hope so, we just washed.”
Xie Lian laughed. “Normally San Lang sort of smells like incense. I guess I just didn’t realize that would go away?”
“Gege thought I naturally smelled like incense?”
“I thought maybe it was the soap?”
“It’s probably because of how often I light incense for gege?”
Xie Lian blinked at that. “Do I smell like incense?”
Hua Cheng grinned. “Gege knows ghosts can smell spiritual energy too doesn’t he? Should I tell your highness what you smell like?”
Getting a bit flustered, Xie Lian nudged him. “Nevermind. I’m sure we’ll both smell like incense again soon if that’s it.”
Satisfied that he was dressed well for his highness, Hua Cheng took out his dice and moved to Qiandeng Temple to light incense. Heaven accused him of ‘cheating’ to get Xie Lian more merits but truthfully Hua Cheng had been going through the motions of worship for centuries before Xie Lian saw a single benefit from such a thing. From his perspective, he had many wasted sticks to make up for now.
So Hua Cheng lit incense until the temple was going hazy with it.
And he prayed.
But mostly he waited.
And waited. He was very practiced at waiting after all.
And he was always rewarded. “San Lang, I’m back at the cottage, which house are you at?” Xie Lian spoke up into their private array.
“I was just in the temple, I’ll come to gege.” He smiled, feeling something in him loosen at the prospect of seeing Xie Lian soon.
Making quick work of cleaning up the fallen ash, Hua Cheng moved to find his husband. Excitement filled his chest with every step closer he got. And then he was opening the door. And then he was meeting Xie Lian’s eyes.
And his god was smiling at him, lounging at their table looking completely at ease with the world and so happy to see him.
He could see Xie Lian’s expression flicker with recognition as he took him in. His god really noticed everything. Memorized his little habits the same way Hua Cheng had memorized Xie Lian’s. And Hua Cheng did not have to ask for what he wanted because his god was good and his god was kind and his god knew him body and soul and knew what he sought.
So Xie Lian pushed back the chair a bit, his smile radiant and so very tender as he looked at Hua Cheng. “Come.”
Hua Cheng crossed the tiny distance between them, kneeling at Xie Lian’s feet and looking up for permission. And Xie Lian was still smiling at him. So full of love for him as he guided Hua Cheng’s head to rest in his lap, letting Hua Cheng get settled before running blunt nails gently over Hua Cheng’s scalp.
“Does San Lang want to hear about the trip?”
“Yes, your highness.”
Xie Lian dragged his fingers in light circles, aimlessly petting his husband as he rambled about the mission with Mu Qing and Feng Xin. The way Xie Lian told stories on days like this was so prone to distraction, winding off on a thousand different tangents and Hua Cheng loved every word of it.
His mind was only Xie Lian like this. Xie Lian’s thighs under his head. Xie Lian’s hands in his hair. Xie Lian’s nails against his scalp. Xie Lian’s voice in his ears. He worried sometimes in spite of preparing himself prettily to be his god’s offering, perhaps his god got nothing out of these moments.
But Xie Lian’s voice was so fond and his hands were so kind that Hua Cheng couldn’t keep his eye open. Couldn’t do anything but release himself to his god
If Xie Lian accepted the offering of Hua Cheng’s everything and chose only to be loving and soft with it, it was not Hua Cheng’s place to argue. He was his god’s to do with as he saw fit. And if what he saw fit was tending to Hua Cheng like a precious flower, then that was what Hua Cheng was.
”Why does San Lang always look so surprised when I agree to things he asks?” Xie Lian’s laugh bubbled up around them as Hua Cheng left his unshackled throat covered in a new collar of hickies.
“How could this humble follower not be surprised?” Hua Cheng pulled back to answer, finger tracing over the marks he’d already left. Their relationship was still so new, he had not been sure Xie Lian would allow them.
“San Lang gives me everything I want, isn’t it obvious I’d do the same for him?” He smiled like it really was that simple.
“That’s different. Making gege happy makes me happy.”
“Then it’s not different at all.” Xie Lian pulled him into a kiss, eyes shining with joy. “San Lang should let me take care of him too. It makes me happy to make you happy.”
Hua Cheng let out a content sigh as Xie Lian’s fingers danced across the back of his neck.
“Good?” Xie Lian paused his story but not his touch.
“Mhm.”
“Good. My San Lang looks so lovely like this,” Xie Lian praised almost offhandedly before going back to his story.
He knew Xie Lian knew how much words like that meant to him. Knew the way such praise filled him with an overwhelming rush of relief and pride. Yet the words always came so easily to him.
Praising Hua Cheng came easy to Xie Lian. It was unthinkable. But it was perfect and it was real.
His god’s love was real.
And when they were like this it was such a tangible thing. The line between husband and follower blurred at times like these. Xie Lian was always his god, but he was also a person and he often wanted to simply be treated as one. Someone to laugh and play and cry and love with.
These times Xie Lian was still that person, he was still that god, but he allowed Hua Cheng special permissions.
Everyone knew not to kneel when praying to the Scrap Immortal. And when Hua Cheng prayed, he did not kneel.
But when he offered himself up to his god, he was allowed to.
A lonely child finally letting himself cry in the arms of his god, his savior against the fate of his star. And so Xie Lian had his heart.
A cursed boy screaming out promises beyond the ability of most adults, an undying vow to his god. And so Xie Lian had his life.
A lost spirit bought for a penny and set free to do whatever he wanted, including lingering and following his god instead of passing on. And so Xie Lian had his soul.
A long dead corpse reduced to ash and forged into a ring, nestled against the chest of his god. And so Xie Lian had his safety.
A Ghost King knelt in devotion, half asleep as he laid his head on his god’s lap. And so Xie Lian had his body.
All these things Xie Lian had been given again and again. And Hua Cheng knew his god regretted how little he’d cared for them in their youth, but he always treasured the offerings now.
Xie Lian’s palm rested flat, only stroking his head with the small movements of his thumb for a moment. And there was no spiritual energy being exchanged but Hua Cheng could’ve sworn his god was filling him with energy that fluttered happily in his chest. Or perhaps taking it, leaving him sleepy and settled.
It didn’t matter. Hua Cheng was Xie Lian’s to do with as he pleased. Xie Lian could’ve treated him as a tool to be used and discarded and Hua Cheng would’ve welcomed it.
But his god wouldn’t, Hua Cheng knew that as sure as he knew the sun would rise every morning. Xie Lian did not mistreat offerings given to him in earnest. And he did not refuse any part of Hua Cheng, delighting in every imperfection and eccentricity. After all, he was Xie Lian’s favorite offering.
”I want to give gege something special.”
“San Lang already has. We got married,” Xie Lian grinned.
“Exactly, that’s why this husband wants to give you something. I have to give an offering to my god when I ask him to bless my marriage,” Hua Cheng teased.
“Offer me San Lang then.”
“Your highness already has me.”
“I want you again.”
So Hua Cheng offered himself again. And again. He always would.