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Jaskier took a swig of ale. The audience in Oxenfurt was amazing. He couldn’t believe so many people were throwing coins around. It helped to have Geralt around so that coins would actually be tossed at him – it was fun to watch the gruff wolf let the coins rain down upon him with a tired expression – but he was faring well on his own. It seemed this city in particular liked witchers, or at least the songs about them.
He signaled for another ale, but stopped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to see Valdo Marx in all of his horrid glory.
“Valdo,” he greeted with distaste.
“Julian,” replied the other, with even more distaste laced in his tone. “As much as I would love to get into a fight right now, we can’t.”
“Why not?”
Jaskier was actually a bit curious. Valdo was always up for a fight whether it was words, songs, or a tussle in the sheets. They fought with everything, including a fistfight that ended with them both walking around the next day with black eyes. He crossed his arms just in case Valdo decided to go for his ribs– the asshole would do it, too.
“Something’s in the sewers.”
“Ah, fuck.”
Jaskier followed Valdo out of the busy tavern. He was thankful he picked up his coins before stopping for a break, as he now wouldn’t be returning. He fluttered down the bustling streets with Valdo leading the way. It sucked that he looked so good. Jaskier paused his thoughts. That wasn’t good. He and Valdo were finally in a good place– he couldn’t mess it up just because he was bored out of his mind in Oxenfurt.
He loved teaching, truly, it was amazing. He was respected and loved and just about every other word, including hated and thought of as too popular. He stayed busy when he was in Oxenfurt. The library, for one, could hold him inside for days. His teaching gig was also full of lectures and learning new instruments that his students would bring up with grins. However, it was nothing like being on an adventure. Geralt gifted Jaskier adventures every time they were together.
They arrived to an alley. Jaskier couldn’t believe they didn’t invite the witcher inside. Valdo took out a sack. It looked much too small to hold a whole contract’s worth of sewer monster coin inside.
“Half now, half later,” stated Valdo. He handed it to Jaskier. Jaskier rolled his eyes, not taking it. “Fine. I’ll keep it safe for now.”
“I wouldn’t like to lose it in the swampy waters,” he replied stalely.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Valdo turned to the witcher, who looked severely put-off by the whole affair. “Witcher,” he called, like the man was a dog of some sort, “the yearly sewer monsters are back.” He took out a larger coin sack from his bag. “This is the amount of those.” He then took out another. “Something else is down there. No one’s gotten a look and returned back alive.”
The witcher didn’t seem to be pulsed by it. “I’ll also wait until I get back,” he stated. His nose wrinkled as Valdo put the bags of coin away, his fingers trembling. “Why is he here?” The witcher gestured to Jaskier.
“Your guide,” replied Valdo.
“What?” questioned Jaskier.
Valdo’s brow furrowed. “Why do you think I’ve been instructed to give you money? You need to lead the Witcher down.”
Jaskier didn’t believe a thing the man said. He felt dread in his stomach. He thought they might have finally been friends. Friends don’t lie about things like life or death. It seemed the witcher also picked up on the lie. He stood up straighter and reached down to his side. Jaskier saw the movement and wondered if the witcher had a dagger of some sort hidden there.
Jaskier said plainly, “I’m the bait, aren’t I?”
Valdo hummed, high and whiny. “No one else wants to go down to the sewers–”
“I don’t either.”
“–and you are very nice to people, aren’t you?”
Jaskier sighed very loudly. “You’re a prick. It was your idea, wasn’t it?”
“I could ask Priscilla–”
“Fine. Just… we both better get our pay.” Jaskier gestured to himself and the witcher. “I won’t teach ever again if you aren’t fair about it.”
Valdo puckered his lips as if he had bitten into a lemon. “I’m not the one supplying the money, but it seems fair enough.”
“Fine.” Jaskier looked down to his boots. “I’m guessing you won’t lend me nice, resistant-to-water boots, will you?”
Valdo stayed silent, his eyes begging Jaskier to just leave. Jaskier reigned in another sigh. He turned to the witcher, walked up slowly to them, put their arms together as if they were best pals, and trudged through the rainy street in order to get to the sewers.
The sewers were one of Jaskier’s least favorite places. At least the witcher he was hanging off of didn’t seem too put-out about it.
“So, what’s your name?” he asked in an attempt to be casual as they walked along the sewer. “I’m Jaskier.” He bowed. “At your service, clearly.”
The witcher hummed. “You’re not like the other humans.”
Jaskier grinned at that. “I know! I’m so remarkably beautiful, it seems like I’m a nymph–”
“You don’t stink.”
“Oh.” Jaskier deflated a tad. He was going to stink due to the sewer in no time. “Picked up an orange, honeysuckle, and honey oil from my friend that makes them on the side. I get free samples.”
The witcher eyed him strangely. “The other human stunk.”
“Valdo did, huh.” Jaskier grinned as he stepped over an eyeball that was oddly large. “He sucks, then. Spends too much money on paying off actual good poets instead of focusing on his cleanliness.”
“His fear was too strong– I could barely smell what was underneath.”
Jaskier turned to the witcher. “You can smell emotions?”
Geralt never mentioned that little piece of information. Jaskier knew that witchers had enhanced senses and strength, but nothing about smelling emotions. Jaskier wanted to ask more, but didn’t when he looked at the witcher. The man seemed to be contemplating something.
“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he asked in a confused yet gruff tone.
“Should I be, dear Witcher?” Jaskier scanned the man’s face, but only found confusion. “I admit, Valdo probably was a bad first impression. A lot of people in Oxenfurt will smell better. They quite like witchers, you know.”
“They like Geralt of Rivia, you mean,” sighed the witcher. “He’s the one that gave us a better reputation.” He tilted his head in thought. “Aiden.”
“It’s lovely to meet you, Aiden.” Jaskier grinned, suddenly happy with a new burst of speed. “Why did you take this contract? This usually is for more than one witcher. You could die down here.”
“I need the coin.”
Jaskier raised one of his eyebrows. “Are contracts running low? I could have sworn I saw a few posted elsewhere. Doesn’t this seem risky compared to those?”
Aiden glanced around, his ears prickling. “I need a new silver sword. This one’s bound to crack any day.”
“Ah. So it comes at a high price. You didn’t save up for it before?” inquired Jaskier.
“I did, but then I had to buy ingredients to make potions.” He turned to Jaskier in confusion. “My horse was attacked, and therefore the potions inside spilled and cracked. I had to replenish all of them as well as get a new horse. The contracts are farther apart than they used to be– I can’t walk from place to place before a different witcher takes the contract.”
“So all your savings became depleted.” Jaskier hummed. He often had to help Geralt buy things to keep his weapons, saddle, and clothing in check. “Will a broken sword get through down here?”
It was perfect timing for a water creature – a Zeugl that seemed small – to jump out and lunge at the witcher with its tentacle. Aiden slayed it by cutting it in half easily. He turned to Jaskier with a smug look. Jaskier grinned, quickly jogging to catch up with the other. That continued for some time as they walked along the sewers. Jaskier was amazed at how many monsters lived down there. So many people walked above them everyday without fear.
It was well into the following day by the time they had done a full loop of the sewers. Jaskier was forever thankful that he slept in late, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it so far. Aiden had sensed that, apparently, as he offered Jaskier a small break. Jaskier grinned so bright that the witcher had to glance down and away from the force.
As they stood in the sewer, Jaskier drank out of Aiden’s water skin and ate some jerky. Jaskier preferred the kind that Geralt got, but he wasn’t going to criticize such a patient witcher. He thanked Aiden endlessly before he jumped up and down a few times in hopes of waking up. He didn’t want to doze off in the sewers. He was also proud because his actions made Aiden huff– it almost sounded like a laugh.
And then the real work began. Jaskier said quickly, “Did Valdo tell you about the mysterious monster that no one knows about?”
Aiden hmmed. “The man mentioned sending down a few bounty hunters. None of them returned.” He saw the way Jaskier cringed. “I’ll protect you, bard.”
Jaskier bobbed his head. He wasn’t worried about that part. “I just… how am I supposed to lure it out, you think?”
Aiden looked far off down the sewer lines. “If we haven’t come across it, it may have a hiding spot. We might need to wake it up.”
“Ah, dammit. All of the taverns and inns are closed until tonight.” Jaskier looked up to see the sun shining down on him. He moaned. “I guess I could sing loudly, if you want.”
“We’ve been talking loud enough. We’ll come across it soon, I’m sure.”
Jaskier followed as Aiden decided to do another loop of the sewers. No joke, Jaskier wanted to die, just a little bit, when he heard the first residence of Oxenfurt wake. He shook his head excessively and got ready to run for his life if he needed to. He cracked his knuckles and fingers as he talked to Aiden about the strangest contracts he’d been on.
And then there was a small hiss coming from above. See, that didn’t seem right. The sewers were built underneath the city, so there shouldn’t be another layer above them for something to hide. Clearly, Jaskier was wrong. He looked up to see a thin tongue darting out of the wall. Oh. Okay. So the sewers were a bit old and there was enough damage for a huge snake to hide inside of it. Wasn’t that charming?
Jaskier played the role of being the bait splendidly. He waved and cheered at the snake-thing. “Hello, cutie. What’s your name? You look like a Vanessa. Nessa for short, maybe?” Jaskier gulped as the creature slithered down the wall loudly, landing with a slight thunk. “What about Van? Is that better?”
The creature slithered towards Jaskier slowly, as if they knew they’d get their prey. Jaskier backed away and down the sewer system. He then picked up his pace, which seemed to make the snake find it as the prime time to strike. Jaskier scrunched his eyelids down, but found he didn’t die. He opened his eyes back up in time to see Aiden attacking the snake-thing.
Jaskier whooped out in excitement as Aiden sawed off the head of whatever had killed multiple people. Aiden held the head in his hands with a plain look. Jaskier wrinkled his nose at it, but was thankful it wasn't a Selkiemore.
“What is it? A basilisk?”
“A serpent, it looks like,” replied Aiden.
“Ooo, a serpent.” Jaskier turned giddy. “Do they grow larger than that?”
“Known to never stop growing.”
“Ah, okay. Let’s get you your well-deserved coin. Do you have a blacksmith in mind for your sword yet?”
“I do,” answered the witcher.
Jaskier hummed. “I wish you luck, then.” He knew that a good silver sword would have let Aiden cut the serpent up just as he had with the other creatures, however the state of the sword wasn’t good enough for a serpent.
Aiden smiled wistfully. “You’re a strange man, Jaskier. Don’t get into trouble you can’t wiggle yourself out of.” He took the serpent’s head and shook it at the bard.
Jaskier laughed despite his anxiety spiking as the serpent’s head stared at him. “Vanessa looks rather scary,” he determined.
“You named the– you named the serpent that tried to kill you.”
“Yeah.” Jaskier grinned as he saw Aiden shake his head in amusement. Clearly, his work was done. He was going to go home and sleep for a week.