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Anakin paced in the small confined space of the Twilight. Avoiding had always seemed so easy in the moment, but as soon as the weight of the action finally took hold, guilt slowly worked its way through every particle of his being.
It didn’t help that Ahsoka had commed him wondering where he was.
It didn’t help that his conversation with the Chancellor had ended less with a feeling of hope and more with a feeling of despair.
And it certainly didn’t help that Obi-Wan was gone on a mission. A mission that required as little contact with him as possible.
Was Anakin truly so pathetic that he could barely survive a week without Obi-Wan?
Pathetic. Bad.
Worthless.
He ran his hand through his hair and then down his face, wondering when he had grown so pitiful.
Anakin was curled up on the couch, waiting for Obi-Wan to come back. He was still in the clothes that he had slept in despite it being well into the afternoon.
Obi-Wan was scheduled to be back that day and Anakin had elected to avoid everything again in favor of waiting as patiently as he could.
Light streamed through the blinds and Anakin could make out the passing speeders and he idly wondered if Obi-Wan was in one of them. Maybe he was as anxious to see Anakin as Anakin was to see him.
He hoped Obi-Wan was anyway.
It always seemed that Obi-Wan didn’t need Anakin nearly as much as Anakin needed Obi-Wan.
He sat up quickly, feeling Obi-Wan’s presence drawing closer in the Force.
The warmth of Obi-Wan’s force signature washed over him and he glanced down at his attire, suddenly ashamed that he couldn’t have even changed.
The door hissed open and Obi-Wan stepped inside their quarters, the small space suddenly deluged with Obi-Wan’s overwhelming affection - the thing that made it home.
“Anakin?” Obi-Wan asked curiously, crossing the room and tipping Anakin’s head up with a finger underneath his chin. “Why are you not ready for the day?”
“Master,” Anakin whispered. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, my love,” Obi-Wan assured him gently and sat on the couch next to Anakin. But as he reached an arm over to wrap around Anakin’s shoulders, Anakin shrugged away, instead sliding to the floor and kneeling between Obi-Wan’s legs.
“Darling,” Obi-Wan said softly, running a hand through Anakin’s curls. “Tell me what’s happening in that head of yours.” He cupped Anakin’s head in his hands, tipping Anakin’s head back and forcing him to look Obi-Wan in the eyes.
“I missed you,” Anakin whimpered.
“I know, dear one,” Obi-Wan soothed. “But that’s not all, is it?”
“No, Master,” Anakin mumbled. It was at least honest, but that didn’t mean he particularly wanted to talk about it either. Especially because Obi-Wan had only just come home.
“And you are going to tell me, aren’t you?” Obi-Wan said firmly.
“It can wait, if you want,” Anakin mumbled self-consciously.
Obi-Wan tilted his head to the side, staring at Anakin. “Can it?”
“You just got here,” Anakin explained quietly. “It doesn’t have to be about me.
Obi-Wan’s gaze flitted over Anakin’s features - dark and clearly nervous as he chewed his lower lip. “It was a mission like any other. It seems to me like you might need my help now.”
“Yes, Master.” Anakin swallowed, closing his eyes.
“Eyes, Anakin,” Obi-Wan reminded him.
Taking a deep breath, Anakin opened his eyes, peering up at Obi-Wan.
“Now, tell me,” Obi-Wan ordered.
“I was bad,” Anakin said quietly. He drew his upper lip tight at the unexpected emotional punch at admitting something so simple.
“What horrible crime have you committed, sweet boy?” Obi-Wan mused.
“Can you tell me you love me?” Anakin whispered.
“I love you very much, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied softly. “Nothing you have done while I was away is going to change that.”
Anakin nodded, his head still held in place by Obi-Wan’s hands.
“I didn’t do what you told me to do,” Anakin confessed. “I broke our rules.”
“Did you?” Obi-Wan asked. “And what rule did you break?”
Guilt clawed in Anakin’s belly, bile seeping up his throat. “I skipped meetings.”
Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow, staring down his guilt-ridden partner. “I thought we were done with that.”
Anakin swallowed and tried to duck his head. When he realized he couldn’t with Obi-Wan’s hands still holding it in place, he settled for leaning his head against Obi-Wan’s thigh.
“I was hoping that we would not be required to repeat that lesson,” Obi-Wan continued, his voice firm, but not devoid of warmth.
“I know,” Anakin mumbled.
“But I think there’s more than just that,” Obi-Wan pressed.
Anakin nodded. “Something’s wrong with me.” Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he shut them, trying to hold off the inevitable.
“What could possibly be wrong with you?” Obi-Wan asked tenderly.
“I can’t do anything,” Anakin whimpered.
Obi-Wan hummed, removing his hands from cupping Anakin’s head and tangling his fingers in Anakin’s hair. “We have a lot to take care of, don’t we?” he said affectionately.
“I’m sorry, Master,” Anakin croaked.
“It’s alright, my love,” Obi-Wan murmured. “We’ll set everything right.”
“Thank you, Master,” Anakin whispered, sniffing back the few tears that managed to break through.
Obi-Wan swiped his thumb under Anakin’s eyes, drying Anakin’s tears. “Let’s get the hard part out of the way.”
Anakin nodded even though he was reluctant to move from his spot on the floor where he was still kneeling between Obi-Wan’s legs.
“Do you want to stay here for a little while longer?” Obi-Wan asked gently.
Shaking his head, Anakin peered up at Obi-Wan. “No, sir.” He swallowed again and nuzzled against Obi-Wan’s inner thigh. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
Obi-Wan nodded knowingly. “Then let’s continue this discussion over my lap.” He spread his legs slightly to give Anakin more room to remove himself from the floor.
“Are you going to use the paddle?” Anakin asked apprehensively as he stood before Obi-Wan.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Obi-Wan assured him. “But pants and underwear down.”
“Yes, sir,” Anakin said with a small nod and looped his fingers in the waistbands of his pants and briefs and tugged them down. He crawled across Obi-Wan’s lap, settling himself into this now familiar position.
“It’s alright, sweet boy,” Obi-Wan said quietly and ran a hand along Anakin’s spine. “We’re going to make you feel better.”
“I know,” Anakin mumbled and buried his face in his hands, the tightness in his chest almost unbearable.
“But I don’t think I need to tell you why I’m disappointed that you are avoiding your responsibilities,” Obi-Wan said firmly and without another word, brought his hand down hard, the sound echoing in the relatively quiet room.
Any other time, Anakin generally tried to keep himself as composed for as long as possible but now, in this moment of accountability with the one person with whom he allowed himself to be vulnerable, he let the tears leak through.
“We’ve been through this before, Anakin,” Obi-Wan scolded, peppering Anakin’s backside with quick, sharp slaps.
“I know,” Anakin sobbed, not from the pain of Obi-Wan’s hand, but the grief over a failed week with Obi-Wan away. “I’m sorr-” He was cut off when he let a sob wrack through his body, shaking his shoulders.
Obi-Wan smacked again, this time just above Anakin’s thighs, a place that normally made Anakin squirm, but Anakin barely made a move as his shoulders shook. Obi-Wan spanked again, this time in the same spot on the opposite cheek, eliciting only a low whine from Anakin instead of the usual kick of his feet.
Forgoing the usual lecture, Obi-Wan let Anakin pour out his guilt into the cushion of the couch, very few of the smacks having much of an impact.
“Please, Daddy,” Anakin rasped through tears that were wetting the fabric of the couch.
Obi-Wan’s hand immediately stopped its barrage of swats and came to rest on the small of Anakin’s back.
Anakin startled as he felt Obi-Wan rub soothing circles into his back and craned his head to look around at Obi-Wan, confusion clear on his face. Surely, Obi-Wan wasn’t done when they’d barely started. The last time he’d been purposely avoiding meetings, Anakin had been met with a much harsher punishment than this.
“Why did you stop?” he asked, his voice cracking. Maybe Obi-Wan had changed his mind about the paddle, he thought frantically.
The thought was enough to make him want to cry all over again.
“This isn’t what we need right now, my love,” Obi-Wan said gently.
Anakin took in a shaky breath and harshly rubbed his eyes to remove at least a little remnants of his shame.
“Can you sit up for me, please?” Obi-Wan asked in a soft voice. “I’ll help you.”
Anakin nodded, sniffling again as he pushed himself back and awkwardly pulled his pants and underwear back up, more embarrassed now than when he was over Obi-Wan’s lap.
Obi-Wan had called it off, but why? What had Anakin done that this couldn’t fix?
Obi-Wan settled into the couch and pulled Anakin back into his lap, holding him close.
“My poor boy,” Obi-Wan murmured, running a hand over Anakin’s back.
“Why did you stop?” Anakin finally asked, sliding off of Obi-Wan’s lap and tucking himself in the crook of Obi-Wan’s arm, his legs draped over Obi-Wan’s lap.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he said, “Did you realize what you said, dearest?”
Anakin closed his eyes, trying to recall what he could possibly have said that would make Obi-Wan stop.
When Anakin took too long to answer, Obi-Wan mused lightly, “I suppose now is as good a time as any to reveal my secret about you.”
Anakin tensed and pushed back, staring at Obi-Wan with pleading eyes. “A secret?”
“It is not really much of a secret,” Obi-Wan soothed. “More of an observation.”
“Master,” Anakin grumbled, returning to his original position in Obi-Wan’s embrace, resting his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.
“You called me ‘daddy’ just now,” Obi-Wan said gently, feeling Anakin tense with embarrassment.
As if the situation couldn’t get worse, Anakin felt the shame of it tear through him and a new wave of tears threatened to break through.
“And you tend to call me that when you are feeling particularly…” Obi-Wan stopped himself. “Insecure.”
Anakin huffed and shut his eyes.
“Let’s talk in bed,” Obi-Wan suggested gently. “I think we have some things to sort through.”
Nodding, Anakin extricated himself from Obi-Wan’s embrace and followed him to the bedroom where he sat on the edge of the bed waiting for more directions - eager for Obi-Wan’s structure.
“Get into bed, my love,” Obi-Wan instructed as he took off his belt.
Anakin drew back the blankets and crawled under the covers while Obi-Wan continued to undress.
Obi-Wan soon joined Anakin and he wasted no time sidling up next to Obi-Wan and resting his head on Obi-Wan’s chest, a leg draped over Obi-Wan’s waist.
“Now,” Obi-Wan began in a quiet voice. “Tell me what happened while I was away.”
“It’s just-” Anakin huffed. “There’s something wrong with me.”
Obi-Wan took a deep breath, mulling over Anakin’s words. “Are you having panic attacks again?”
Anakin closed his eyes and shook his head. “No,” he whispered. “Not recently.”
“That is one good thing, don’t you think?” Obi-Wan pressed gently.
It hardly seemed like an achievement, but Anakin accepted the small acknowledgment nonetheless.
“What happened that you didn’t go to any meetings?”
“I couldn’t go,” Anakin said as a feeble excuse, the words sounding disgustingly meek as he spoke.
“No?” Obi-Wan pressed. He took another deep breath, exhaling slowly as he thought through Anakin’s confession.
“I think I made it worse,” Anakin mumbled.
Obi-Wan hummed thoughtfully. “How so?”
“I skipped one and it just…” Anakin stopped talking and shrugged.
“It gets worse, doesn’t it?” Obi-Wan agreed. “As if it builds.”
Anakin nodded as Obi-Wan held him closer.
“What did I tell you to do before I left?” Obi-Wan pressed.
Anakin blushed furiously, nosing his way into Obi-Wan’s chest.
“I know you know and you are once again avoiding telling me when something is difficult,” Obi-Wan chuckled softly.
“To behave,” Anakin frowned.
“Hm,” Obi-Wan hummed with a small laugh. “I think we can both agree that that did not happen.”
Anakin shifted uncomfortably against Obi-Wan, as if the guilt itself was moving his limbs for him. “It’s hard when you’re not here.”
“Hard to behave or hard to want to behave?” Obi-Wan asked.
Shrugging, Anakin shut his eyes again. “Both, maybe.”
“Let me ask you something, Anakin,” Obi-Wan pressed on and Anakin let out a dramatic sigh, resigned to his fate as the single most embarrassed person in the galaxy. “Are the rules we have in place too restrictive?”
“What?” came Anakin’s immediate reply.
“As in, do you feel that they are hindering more than they are helping?” Obi-Wan clarified.
“Master!” Anakin protested, looking offended. He propped himself on an elbow, peering down at Obi-Wan. “Why are you saying that?”
“I don’t want you to be…” Obi-Wan paused. “I don’t want you to feel as if they are an impossible standard that you cannot live up to.”
Anakin continued to stare at Obi-Wan as if he were speaking Ithorian.
“I want you to take tomorrow and think about it,” Obi-Wan continued. “And I’ll do the same.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Anakin asked apprehensively.
Obi-Wan chuckled softly. “Well, it seems you did when I was away, isn’t that right?” He grinned as Anakin blushed and ducked his head. “But I’m asking you to do this exercise for our own benefit. A…” he mulled through his thoughts. “A bit of a check-up on how we define things, I suppose.”
Anakin, still looking slightly apprehensive, chewed his bottom lip. “But-”
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan soothed. “I am not proposing that we stop. I am asking that you do me this favor so that I understand better.”
Anakin gave a small nod and settled back down next to Obi-Wan. “Okay.”
“My very good boy,” Obi-Wan praised in a whisper.
Despite Obi-Wan’s reassurances, Anakin still fumbled through the morning, avoiding the question on which Obi-Wan had asked him to reflect.
Avoiding his assignment, it turned out, had a similar effect as avoiding his responsibilities as a knight so that by the time the afternoon rolled around, Anakin was so full of nerves, he didn’t think it would be possible to think straight.
So in lieu of breaking yet another rule, he settled on another task he had been avoiding and meditated.
He chose Obi-Wan’s favorite spot, the Temple gardens, as a way to hopefully connect with what Obi-Wan was asking of him. With any luck, it would at least put him in the right headspace.
He settled onto the hard surface, sitting cross legged with his hands on his knees, and closed his eyes. Birds chirped in the tree next to him and the trickle of water from the fountain was almost enough to distract him completely. He took a deep breath and wondered for perhaps the millionth time why Obi-Wan liked this spot so much. It seemed far too busy to be considered a good spot for meditation.
Another deep breath in. Inhale, he thought. Anakin held it for a few seconds before letting it out slowly. Exhale.
The birds were still chirping.
Inhale. Obi-Wan. Birds. Exhale. Fountain.
Anakin opened his eyes and frowned. He stared at the trickling fountain as if it would somehow surrender and stop its blubbering. When it didn’t, he sighed dramatically and straightened himself out.
Maybe Anakin just needed to concede that he was not cut out for this. He closed his eyes in one last attempt and breathed in deeply.
Obi-Wan loved nature so perhaps it should have come as no surprise that Obi-Wan loved this spot in particular.
Anakin let the living Force thrum around him, feeding its way through him, gaining power just by being in its presence. He let himself settle into the feeling - warm and comforting.
Like Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan had given him a task and he was going to do it even if it killed him.
Why did he like the rules? It seemed as if he shouldn’t like them. He was never particularly fond of the rigid structure of the Order, but Obi-Wan’s rules were different. They supplied a strange, freeing feeling that didn’t come from the strictness of the Jedi. Instead, Obi-Wan’s rules gave him peace.
Peace and… freedom. Peace and… accountability. Peace and… Anakin frowned. Comfort.
He wondered what Obi-Wan got out of this arrangement if Anakin was the one that continued to take.
Pathetic. Needy. The words that so often plagued him came back. Worthless.
He pushed the words out with one long exhale. Those words did him no good now. He had a task to do.
And he was going to do it.
Obi-Wan was already home by the time Anakin walked through the door.
“Hello, dear one,” Obi-Wan said with a warm smile as he set the kettle on the hob. “Tea?”
“Um,” Anakin faltered. “Please.” It would be nice to have something to occupy his hands and mouth with if he couldn’t get the words out, he decided.
“I know you did something difficult today,” Obi-Wan said, turning his attention to taking another teacup out of the cupboard and setting it on the counter. “And I want you to know that I appreciate it.”
Anakin gave Obi-Wan a brief smile before staring at the surface of the table. “It wasn’t easy,” he mumbled.
“I hate to tell you, my love,” Obi-Wan smirked, “but I don’t believe it’s going to be any easier now.”
Anakin groaned, folding forward and resting his forehead on the table. “I know,” he said into its surface.
Obi-Wan gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder and turned his attention back to the tea when the kettle had made its obnoxious whistle.
When Anakin heard the soft clink of a teacup being set in front of him, he finally lifted his head, staring resolutely at the cup and pointedly not at Obi-Wan. “I really did think about what you said, Master,” he mumbled as his finger circled the circumference of the cup.
“I know you did,” Obi-Wan murmured and took a sip of his tea. “So, tell me. What did you think about?”
Anakin shifted uncomfortably in his chair and finally looked at Obi-Wan. “I like our rules,” he admitted.
Obi-Wan appeared to consider that a moment and took a drink from his cup. He seemed to be waiting for Anakin to continue at his own pace so Anakin took a sip of tea and steeled his resolve. He could talk about this. He needed to talk about this.
Obi-Wan had asked him to talk about it.
“The ones when we fuck, but the ones you give me when we’re not fucking too,” Anakin said, blushing.
Obi-Wan chuckled at that, giving Anakin a reassuring smile. “I do enjoy the ones when we fuck,” he agreed with a smile.
“What about the ones when we don’t fuck?” Anakin asked nervously. Greedy. The word seemed to float around his head every time he thought about it.
“I enjoy those too,” Obi-Wan promised in a gentle voice. “I would not do it if I did not like it.”
Anakin huffed and lifted his head to gaze at Obi-Wan’s soft expression.
“What do you like about the rules we have in place when we don’t fuck?” Obi-Wan asked with a small smile, using Anakin’s turn of phrase.
This was the question Anakin had been dreading to answer. He was pretty sure Obi-Wan had already known all this, but during his time meditating, he came to realize that he owed it to Obi-Wan to say it in no uncertain terms.
“They make me feel…” Anakin blushed and took another drink of his tea to formulate his thoughts. “I like the structure.”
“Hm.” Obi-Wan closed his eyes as he sipped his tea. “What would your padawan self think of you now, I wonder?” He grinned playfully at Anakin as he opened his eyes.
Anakin scoffed, rolling his eyes and placing his hands in his lap. “I guess I’ve changed,” he mumbled.
“And there is nothing wrong with that,” Obi-Wan assured. “Is there anything else?”
Shrugging, Anakin looked at his hands in his lap. “It’s nice to have something to follow,” he said quietly. “They’re simple and…” He chewed his lower lip as he thought about how to phrase the next part. “And easy to break if I want,” he admitted quickly.
“‘If you want’,” Obi-Wan laughed warmly and Anakin had to admit that it made him feel a little less anxious.
“Then let me ask you this, naughty boy,” Obi-Wan mused. “Did you purposely break some of our rules because you wanted my attention when I returned?”
Anakin cringed at the accusation. “I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. It certainly might have been part of it, but not the entire reason.
“What else happened while I was away?” Obi-Wan asked casually, sitting back in his chair.
Shrugging, Anakin cast his gaze down.
“Why did you skip the first meeting?” Obi-Wan asked, his voice growing firm.
“I visited the Chancellor,” Anakin confessed quietly.
Obi-Wan visibly frowned at that.
“He’s the chancellor,” Anakin defended quickly. “And my friend.”
Sighing, Obi-Wan arched an eyebrow. “He is less a friend than you think he is.”
“Mentor, then,” Anakin conceded with a small frown. He had to admit that the more time he spent with Obi-Wan, the more he realized what friendship was supposed to make him feel like and was slowly coming to realize that the Chancellor did not make him feel that way.
“Did he ask you to skip that meeting?” Obi-Wan pressed, not willing to go into a semantic battle with Anakin.
“No, sir,” Anakin shook his head quickly.
“You used it as an excuse,” Obi-Wan replied knowingly.
Anakin blushed and nodded, confirming what Obi-Wan already knew.
“Is there anything else that happened?” Obi-Wan asked simply.
Anakin shifted in his seat, suddenly extremely aware of the scrutiny under which Obi-Wan was putting him.
He was apparently going to confess to each crime and there was no way he was not going to pay for those crimes either.
“I didn’t meditate,” Anakin mumbled.
“That is an unsurprising revelation,” Obi-Wan mused. “What did you do to take care of yourself?”
Anakin gave Obi-Wan a curious look, wondering what he could possibly mean by that.
“You don’t understand the question,” Obi-Wan said with certainty. “You said to me that you felt there was something wrong with you.”
Anakin gulped, nodding along to Obi-Wan’s words.
“So I would like to know what you did while I was away. Did you eat? Shower? Go to sleep at a reasonable time?”
Shrugging, Anakin tried to look away, but Obi-Wan chided him with a light, “Ah, ah.”
“Not always,” Anakin admitted.
Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head and Anakin swallowed again, his heart dropping into his stomach.
He was in more trouble than he originally thought.
“But I’m going to take a guess and assume you sparred more than usual,” Obi-Wan pressed on.
Anakin nodded, his mouth suddenly dry.
“I think what you feel is ‘wrong’ with you is your conscience,” Obi-Wan leveled, arching an eyebrow.
When Anakin didn’t answer, Obi-Wan asked, “Am I right about that?”
Anakin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the room suddenly much hotter than it had been previously. “Yes, sir,” he whispered. “I’m in a lot of trouble, aren’t I?” he asked, trying to force out a laugh to lighten his mood.
“More than you realize, I think,” Obi-Wan replied.
“Master,” Anakin complained.
“Tell me what happened last night,” Obi-Wan pressed on. “What were you telling yourself?”
Anakin swallowed a drink of his tea before rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “I needed you.”
“That is very sweet, but I know that is not all you were thinking, is it?” Obi-Wan leveled.
“I’m pathetic,” Anakin spat out bitterly and Obi-Wan gave him a sympathetic smile.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said gently. “You are the least pathetic person I know.”
“I can’t even survive a week with you gone!” Anakin declared wildly, his voice growing stronger.
“I think you are looking for a little extra attention,” Obi-Wan mused mildly to himself. “And I can promise you that you will get it.”
Chewing his lower lip, Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan again. “Please, Master,” he begged. It seemed absurd beyond any reasonable measure that Anakin was asking - no, begging - for Obi-Wan to spank him. Just like he had the night before.
But this time, he had no doubt in his mind that Obi-Wan would finish what he started.
“I know it’s hard for you to follow our rules when I am not here,” Obi-Wan continued. “But I think I may have a way for us to make it easier for you when we are apart.”
“What is it?” Anakin asked quickly.
“We’ll discuss it after,” Obi-Wan said simply and Anakin knew very well what the before would entail.
“But I want to talk about one more thing before we get to correcting your misdeeds,” Obi-Wan went on.
Anakin groaned and shut his eyes, Obi-Wan chuckling knowingly at Anakin’s reaction.
“I need you to understand my side of things,” Obi-Wan continued, his voice soft.
Opening his eyes, Anakin stared at Obi-Wan and suddenly realized that some of his insecurity about their relationship stemmed from not understanding Obi-Wan.
“Okay,” Anakin whispered.
“This type of relationship that we have is the most fulfilling for me,” Obi-Wan said warmly.
“Why?” Anakin asked, leaning forward as if to hear Obi-Wan better.
“I think for a similar reason as you.” Obi-Wan paused, giving Anakin a moment to think it through. “It helps me focus on something else. There are rules in place and they can be corrected when you break one.”
Anakin blushed furiously. “Really?” he asked in a quiet voice.
“Really,” Obi-Wan promised him. “So next time you want attention or you feel guilty or you worry that you are making me do something I do not want to do, I want you to remember what I said.”
“Yes, sir,” Anakin said with a small nod and a faint smile.
“Speaking of correcting, let’s take care of that now, shall we?” Obi-Wan said, rising from his chair.
“How much trouble am I in?” Anakin asked anxiously.
“Quite a bit, I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan scolded. “You are going to learn once and for all that I do not take your health and well-being lightly.”
Anakin gulped, savoring the feeling of his pain free behind on the hard chair. “Are you going to use the paddle?”
“Yes,” Obi-Wan said with a small nod. “That is one of the things I will use.”
A shiver rocketed down Anakin’s spine and he stood from the chair to follow Obi-Wan into the bedroom.
“Boots, belt, and robes off,” Obi-Wan said simply as he began rolling up the sleeves of his robes.
Anakin nodded and took off his boots quickly, tossing them aside.
“That is not where they go, is it?” Obi-Wan admonished and continued getting himself ready as he removed his lightsaber from his belt.
Anakin quickly tried to correct, putting his boots in their spot and his robes on the dresser along with his belt. He turned back to Obi-Wan who was still standing. “Um-” he started and noticed the belt folded over in Obi-Wan’s hand.
Dread shot through him as he realized what was about to happen.
“Pants and underwear down and bend over the bed,” Obi-Wan ordered.
Thinking it was probably best not to argue the point, Anakin obeyed. Once his underwear and pants were bunched around his thighs, he shakily leaned over the bed, resting on his forearms.
Obi-Wan came up next to him, a comforting hand rubbing his lower back. “How many days was I away, Anakin?” he asked.
“Five,” Anakin breathed.
“That’s right,” Obi-Wan praised. “I was gone for five days. And how many of those days did you break one of our rules?”
Anakin swallowed. “Five,” he admitted.
“Then you are going to count to five.”
Bracing himself for the pain, Anakin shifted his weight nervously until Obi-Wan spoke again. “What rule did you break the first day I was gone?”
Taking in short, sharp breaths, Anakin replied in a tremulous voice, “I didn’t meditate.”
Anakin heard the belt flying through the air before he felt the pain explode across his backside. He gasped, catching his breath. Suddenly remembering that he needed to count, he rasped out, “One.”
“What rule did you break the second day I was gone?”
Still catching his breath from the first strike, Anakin ground his teeth. “I skipped the strategy meeting and I didn’t meditate.”
Obi-Wan brought the belt down again, this time lower on his behind and Anakin stood on his toes as he cried out a low, “Two.”
“What rule did you break the third day I was gone?”
Anakin wanted to cry as he admitted in a quiet voice, “I didn’t go to bed when you would have liked.”
Crack.
The sound echoed in the room and Anakin shuddered as the belt again made contact with his backside. “Three,” he gasped and he wondered how he would survive two more of these.
“What rule did you break the fourth day I was gone?” came Obi-Wan’s now familiar question.
Anakin frantically searched his brain for the answer. “Meeting,” he eked out.
Another sharp thwack of the belt came down on Anakin’s behind, right above his thighs. “Four.”
One more, Anakin reminded himself. He could surely survive one more.
“What rule did you break the fifth day I was gone?”
“I didn’t eat or sleep,” Anakin admitted into the blankets on the bed.
He had been hoping that Obi-Wan wouldn’t go there, but the final stroke of the belt landed on his thighs and he had to fight to not put his hands behind him as he bit out, “Five.”
He breathed a sigh of relief until he remembered Obi-Wan had explicitly told him that the paddle would also be used and he almost cried at the sheer thought of it.
“Master,” he begged, his voice cracking.
“I know you want to be done, but we have only begun,” Obi-Wan said firmly and sat on the bed. He reached over to the side of the bed and withdrew the thick, wood paddle.
“Over my lap,” Obi-Wan said, his voice sounding almost impatient to Anakin’s ears.
Anakin whined but arranged himself over Obi-Wan’s knees, feeling much more at peace now that he was at least touching Obi-Wan.
But with no warning, the paddle was brought down hard on Anakin’s already stinging behind.
“Fuck!” Anakin cried and kicked his feet even though he had promised himself he’d take this spanking well. He needed to prove to Obi-Wan that he was good, after all.
“You would do well to stop your cursing,” Obi-Wan warned.
“Sorry, Master,” Anakin bit out.
“You know very well why you are here,” Obi-Wan said, sounding almost casual about it. He brought the paddle down twice in quick succession, making Anakin kick his feet. “So I want you to use the next few minutes as a time to think through your actions before you answer my questions.”
Minutes. Anakin was going to be paddled for minutes before the lecture even started?
“Master, please,” he begged.
“If you are talking, you are not reflecting,” Obi-Wan reminded him and spanked another time with the paddle.
Anakin shut his eyes, clenching his teeth to keep a string of debasing pleas of mercy from spilling out of his mouth when the paddle came down again and again.
If Obi-Wan thought that he needed this, then he surely needed it.
He leaned into the feeling of the rhythmic whack of the paddle smacking against his warm and aching backside, letting all of his guilt and frustration pour out of him as tears fell from his eyes.
He didn’t know how long he had had to endure the bite of that vile paddle, but he only noticed that Obi-Wan had set it down when the painful sting of a hand and a sharp slap filled the room.
It was just a hand, Anakin reminded himself. But on an already aching backside, it still felt like fire.
“You have responsibilities as a knight of the Order,” Obi-Wan started his lecture, bringing his hand down in rapid swats. “And responsibilities as a master for your padawan. And responsibilities as my partner.” More painful swats rained down on Anakin’s backside to punctuate the point.
“But most importantly of all, you have responsibilities you owe to yourself,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve had some time to reflect on these. What do you think I am most upset about?”
Anakin frantically searched his brain for an answer all while trying to stop squirming as more smacks were laid across his bare behind. “Not taking care of myself,” he managed, his voice cracking.
“Very good,” Obi-Wan praised and continued spanking. “And if I ever learn that you are purposely shirking something as important as yourself, this lesson will seem like nothing in comparison.”
“I promise, Master,” Anakin sobbed.
“We’re almost done here, my very sweet boy,” Obi-Wan murmured, slapping again at Anakin’s behind. “Just a few more things.”
“Thank you, Master,” Anakin nodded, grateful for the acknowledgement.
“The guilt that you have been feeling over breaking our rules,” Obi-Wan started, his hand never ceasing. “You are allowed to feel guilt, but do not use it as a way to punish yourself.”
More swats peppered the entirety of Anakin’s backside and he moaned into the blanket, his toes curling from the pain he didn’t know if he could endure.
“It is not your job to punish yourself,” Obi-Wan clarified. “It is my job to punish you. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, Master,” Anakin said quickly, his voice thick from his tears.
“Good boy,” Obi-Wan praised again. “You are very good and these things that you tell yourself are nothing but lies.” He spanked directly on Anakin’s sit spots.
“So this last part,” Obi-Wan said, picking up the paddle again and Anakin somehow resisted protesting. “I want you to say out loud that you are not pathetic.”
“I am not pathetic,” Anakin croaked and the paddle came down with a resounding thwack.
“What else have you been telling yourself?” Obi-Wan asked, the paddle raised menacingly in the air. “Counter it.”
“I am not bad,” Anakin rasped. This time when the paddle came down, he involuntarily popped to his knees, the pain roaring through him.
The hand that was on his back pressed him back down.
“What else?” Obi-Wan asked, raising the paddle again.
“I am not worthless,” Anakin sobbed, the paddle smacking as he said it.
“What else?”
“I’m not selfish,” Anakin whispered through his tears. This time, he heard the paddle dropped on the bed and Obi-Wan’s hands came to rub soothing circles on his back as Anakin wept into the crook of his elbow.
“Do you want to stay here for a little while longer?” Obi-Wan asked softly.
Anakin nodded, not particularly caring to even try to hold back the sobs that were coming from somewhere deep within him.
“We can stay here as long as you want,” Obi-Wan assured him, his voice gentle and affectionate. “You are so good for me, darling,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry, Master,” Anakin mumbled, his voice still thick from his crying and his throat raw.
“I know you are,” Obi-Wan murmured. “You are my very sweet boy, after all.”
Anakin just nodded, the pain in his behind still throbbing. “That really hurt,” he huffed in a rough voice.
“You are lucky you confessed to your crimes,” Obi-Wan mused. “I could have made that much worse for you if I had had to find out on my own.”
Anakin raised himself on his elbows and peered behind him. “I thought you didn’t believe in luck,” he sniffled, but allowed himself a small, teasing grin.
Obi-Wan gave him a warm smile. “Well…” he started slowly. “Don’t press yours.” He continued rubbing slow circles into Anakin’s back. “Are you ready to get up, dear one?”
Anakin nodded and pushed himself back, not even bothering to pull his pants back up.
“Good boy,” Obi-Wan murmured. “Why don’t we take a shower and I can clean you up?”
“Okay,” Anakin whispered and sat back with a noticeable grimace. With the multiple involuntary kicks, his pants and underwear had pushed down to his knees.
“You can take those off,” Obi-Wan suggested. “I’m sure that it would not feel good to have them on right now.”
Anakin kicked off his pants and underwear with little fanfare and removed his shirt as well, tossing it to the side.
“Let’s get you that shower and then we can lay in bed for a little while,” Obi-Wan offered, standing from the bed and holding out his hand for Anakin to take.
Anakin’s mouth twitched into a small smile as Obi-Wan led him to the fresher.
He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror while Obi-Wan started the water for the shower - his face was splotchy and his eyes red and swollen from his tears. He turned around so he could survey the damage that was done to his ass. He could see the faint red lines from the belt that criss-crossed his behind, but for the most part it was obscured by the angry red patches from the paddle.
“Master,” Anakin pouted as he reached a hand around to gingerly rub over his aching cheek.
“Yes, Anakin?” Obi-Wan smirked as he finished undressing.
“This is going to hurt tomorrow,” Anakin complained.
Obi-Wan stepped under the shower, pulling Anakin in with him. “Good,” he said simply. “I want you to remember it.” He took the loofah and lathered it with soap. “I want you to know I will not tolerate this behavior whether we are together or apart.”
Anakin blushed and nodded his head as Obi-Wan took one of his arms and ran the lathered loofah over it, the soap sudsing on Anakin’s skin.
Obi-Wan continued washing Anakin’s front, over his chest and down to his abs, being careful not to say anything at Anakin’s half hard erection.
“Turn around,” Obi-Wan said with a circling gesture from his finger. “I’ll be gentle,” he promised in a soft voice as Anakin did as he was told.
He washed over Anakin’s back and when he came to his still aching and red backside, he very softly brought the loofah over it, finishing with his hand to gently rub over it. “I know it hurts,” he soothed when Anakin made a small noise.
“Would you like a personal demonstration just how much it hurts?” Anakin quipped.
“Always the brat,” Obi-Wan mused lightly and set the loofah aside once he had finished washing Anakin’s legs.
“Just your hair left and then we can go get comfortable in bed,” Obi-Wan murmured, squeezing shampoo into his hand.
Anakin wet his hair and tipped his head back for Obi-Wan to work the shampoo through. Obi-Wan’s fingers threaded through Anakin’s hair as he massaged over Anakin’s scalp.
“You are being so good for me, darling,” Obi-Wan praised quietly as Anakin melted into his touch.
“Thank you,” Anakin mumbled, his eyes closing.
“Rinse this out,” Obi-Wan whispered, stepping out of the shower so Anakin had room to maneuver.
Anakin quickly rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, not particularly interested in being separated from Obi-Wan at the moment.
He stepped out of the shower where Obi-Wan immediately wrapped him in a towel and began drying him off.
“I can do it,” Anakin mumbled feebly.
“You can,” Obi-Wan agreed. “But so can I.” He continued drying to his satisfaction before hanging up the towel.
“Bed,” he ordered simply and turned Anakin by the shoulders and marched him out of the fresher and into the bedroom.
“Do you want underwear or not?” he asked as he rifled through the dresser and took out Anakin’s sleep clothes.
Anakin shook his head. “No,” he said, blushing.
“I didn’t think so,” Obi-Wan said softly, giving Anakin a reassuring smile and handing him his pants and shirt.
Anakin dressed while Obi-Wan did the same before they crawled into bed together, Anakin climbing on top of Obi-Wan and settling between his legs, his head resting on Obi-Wan’s chest.
Obi-Wan ran his fingers through Anakin’s still damp curls, twisting one on his finger and giving it a gentle tug.
Anakin hummed and closed his eyes. “Feels nice,” he whispered.
“Good,” Obi-Wan murmured, scratching lightly at Anakin’s scalp. “Don’t fall asleep yet, dear one,” he said when he could feel Anakin’s breathing evening out. “We have a few things left to talk about.”
“Do it fast because I’m going to fall asleep if you keep doing that,” Anakin chuckled.
“How are you feeling, darling?” Obi-Wan asked tenderly.
Anakin shrugged. “Less…” He paused. “Less anxious and more focused.”
“Hm,” Obi-Wan hummed, the sound reverberating in his chest and Anakin smiled at the vibration. “I feel that way too.”
A small smile came to Anakin’s face. “I’m happy you’re back,” he said quietly.
“Me too,” Obi-Wan promised.
“I don’t like it when you’re gone,” Anakin said, nosing further into Obi-Wan’s chest.
“That is another thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Obi-Wan started slowly.
“About how to follow the rules when you’re not here?” Anakin laughed. “Master, I don’t think you can spank me through a holoprojector.”
A warm laugh erupted from Obi-Wan and Anakin laughed with him. “No, I don’t believe that would work very well.”
“Then how?” Anakin pressed.
“Well,” Obi-Wan began softly, “I was thinking we could have a bit of a punishment session before we are apart to remind you who exactly is in charge and who punishes you.”
Anakin nodded. “Okay,” he agreed. “I’d like that.”
“I thought you might,” Obi-Wan said gently, his fingers still in Anakin’s hair. “You can sleep now if you want,” he whispered.
“Actually…” Anakin said with a small smile. “I’m kind of hungry now.”
Obi-Wan chuckled. “I may have some jogan fruit biscuits stashed away.”
“Master!” Anakin complained, popping to his hands to peer down at Obi-Wan. “You were hiding them from me?”
“Otherwise you eat them all and I don’t get any,” Obi-Wan teased back with a grin.
“I would never,” Anakin protested, pretending to look offended.
“Mhm,” Obi-Wan mused. He reached down to tap Anakin’s hip, a wordless indicator for Anakin to climb off of him. “Biscuits and tea, I think.” He sat up when Anakin had rolled to the side.
As he stood from the bed, Anakin took hold of his hand. “Thank you, Master,” he whispered.
“You’re welcome, dear one,” Obi-Wan replied softly. “I love you very much.”
“I love you too,” Anakin smiled.