Chapter Text
I can’t bear to see you.
Because you only have good memories when you see me.
________________
Xiao, who had always experienced ruthless, violence, blood, and battle these last years, discovered softness again thanks to a blond boy who seemed to have fallen from the stars.
Softness has no place here. They are at war. They had slaughtered gods, nations, monsters, knights, and humans. They protect, but they kill in order to protect. It’s an endless circle. He’s killing every day the hatred that is menacing Liyue under Morax’s contract. Softness and love don’t have their place between Xiao’s hands. He just needs his Jade spear.
And yet they are. Softness and love take their place between his hands delicately. Xiao is afraid to break the fingers between his hands, and to corrupt them.
However, Aether smiles and squeezes his hands in a reassuring gesture.
“I love your hands.” He says. “They’re tough but they always hold me gently.”
Xiao’s cheeks got pink. Aether was way too good with words sometimes. This mortal was really shameless, and yet, Xiao discovered that he doesn’t actually mind. He even likes it, if he can push the feeling this far. Xiao looks at Aether.
“Yours is more beautiful.”
They are pure, gentle, and strong. Xiao loves when Aether’s hands touch him. He felt lighter.
“You should sleep, Aether. You need it.”
Aether answers with a hum and a pleasant smile. He took Xiao’s long hair between his fingers, toying with them for a moment before closing his eyes and resting his head on Xiao’s shoulder. Soon, Xiao hears Aether’s soft breathing against his neck. It would always amaze him how Aether trust him enough to fall asleep by his side without any hesitation. Xiao doesn’t sleep. The scenery might be calm, he knows that the evils are always sleeping underground, somewhere near them. After all, evils always come back to him.
However, this night, Xiao allows himself a small moment of contemplation. He watches Aether sleeping, engraves his face in his mind because he knows that Aether will have to leave soon. Xiao removes a strand of hair slowly, then kisses his forehead.
Aether smiles in his sleep. Xiao can feel the good dream inside his mind. He can feel how sweet, and tasting it could be.
Xiao opens his mouth and eats Aether’s dream.
The sweet taste fights against the bitter remorses as soon as he licks his lips after eating. His dreams are like him, sweet, and sunny. Xiao allows himself too much with Aether. He will have to apologize, he shouldn’t eat his lover’s dream. It was the first and last time, no matter how tempting it was, how his dreams are comforting, or if Aether says that he didn’t mind.
______________
“I must go now. Dainslief will be worried if I take too long.”
Xiao’s eyes twitched at the mention of this name but decides to not ask about the blond man.
“Where are you going next?”
“Inazuma.” Aether smiles. “I heard that the sakura flowers were beautiful.”
Aether under the rain of Sakusa flower would be beautiful. Aether with Dainslief under the Sakura tree is making Xiao irritating. He doesn’t like this man, but he knows that he will watch over Aether.
“You can come too, you know.”
This sentence set butterflies in Xiao’s stomach. Xiao felt every new feeling with the traveler. Aether insisted.
“Do you want to come?”
“I can’t. My duty is in Liyue, therefore , I can’t leave this land. I’m bound to the contract with Morax.”
Xiao will never leave Liyue. Aether is painfully aware of that. This man is way too attached to his duties to even think about going on a journey with him. However, he doesn’t change the fact that the Yaksha didn’t answer his question, but Aether ignored it.
“You’re truly dedicated. I love that about you.” Aether said in all honesty with a smile.
“I’m just fulfilling my contract.”
“Xiao, just let me compliment you once in a while!” Aether whined.
Xiao smiled -how rare , Aether thought and memorized it-, then sat closer to Aether to intertwine their fingers together. Aether gripped his hand like Xiao would vanish in a green wind at any moment.
Xiao felt Aether’s warm light going through him. His karmic debt diminished until the darkness let pass some lights, and the screams became only murmurs. Xiao breathed again letting his mind, and muscles relax. To his side, Aether is still bothered by their last conversation. He probably really wanted Xiao to come with him, but he can’t let break his contract, and absolutely not let his companion do all the work.
“Aether, I may not come with you, but you know where to find me. I will always be in Liyue. And you need to continue your journey, so you can wake up your sister.”
“I can’t wait for you two to meet.” Aether said with a smile. “I’m sure that you will get along.” He turned towards his lover. “And I will always come back to you.”
“It is a promise?” Xiao asked.
“It’s an oath.”
The stars of Teyvat will remember this oath when they kissed under the sky as the last goodbye.
_________________
500 years later
“So, isn’t Lumi amazing?”
Xiao raised his jape spear in a quick and elegant movement, ready to slice the neck before him, but stopped just in time. Aether smiled at him. Xiao looked away. His spear didn’t move. Aether is still waiting for his answer with a smile, and Xiao wanted to scream at him. Why are you showing yourself to me after everything you did? After everything you’ve become? Why are you showing yourself to me when you have succumbed to darkness? You know it’s up to me to…
However, Xiao will never do it. That’s why Aether shows himself to him defenseless.
He did it the first time, and he will do it again.
“We can easily tell that you are relative.” Xiao eventually said. “She’s strong.”
This answer must have satisfied Aether because he smiled even more.
But Xiao found this smile sad. There was nothing left from the warm smile he had known for years, for almost centuries.
“You were watching us?” Xiao frowned, and finally lower his weapon, so Aether could come closer to him.
“I watched from afar.” Aether waved. “But the Abyss Order has nothing to do with this incidence, be reassured.”
Be reassured. How ironic.
Xiao sighed and crossed his arms. He needed to shorten this meeting as quickly as possible.
“What do you want this time?”
“How is she doing? You speak to Lumine don’t you?”
“Why don’t just go and ask her?” Xiao replied with coldness. “She probably misses you as much as you missed her back then.”
Aether left a sad smile on his lips, and despite being enemies now, despite the cold anger in Xiao’s heart, all he could think was how wrong this smile looked on Aether. He wanted to solve it as he did years ago. His memories ached him, ached his heart and mind.
Being apart from Aether hurt him, as much as being close.
“I can’t Xiao. She needs to do her own journey, to discover this world by herself. And when she will, we will be reunited. But not before that.”
“And what about us?” Xiao finally asked. “You think we will be reunited again?”
Aether’s breath stopped for one moment. He slowly walked towards the man and touched his arm gently. Xiao, in a moment of weakness and longing, let him.
“I want to be with you. There are no days when I’m not thinking about you, Xiao. I miss you deeply.” Xiao didn’t answer.
“Why don’t you come with me?” Aether said, which earned him a surprised look from Xiao.
“There is no way, I would accompany you.” He hissed. “What you’re trying to do… Everything, it’s wrong Aether! I will keep protecting Liyue, even from you!”
“Dedicated as ever I see, you didn’t change.”
“ You changed. I can’t bear to see you!” Xiao said with a grating voice. It’s been a while since he had shown so many emotions.
“Because you only have good memories when you see me.” Aether completed. “Don’t you?”
These words were painfully right. Xiao had only good memories when he sees his former lover. He remembered their walks in Liyue together, their shared conversations, how Aether cooked to him, how he would take his hand, how he would appease his karma’s debt, and told him that everything would be fine. There are still memories that Xiao can’t forget about Aether, and that made him weak. He started eating Almond Tofu, because he reminded him of Aether’s dreams.
“Your hands are still as gentle as ever.” Aether chuckled as he touched Xiao’s hands.
“You’re too close.”
“Move away then.” Aether challenged him.
“This conversion doesn’t make any sense.”
Aether was bad for Xiao. He made his brain blurry, and his heart numb. With him, he lost his rationality, he didn’t act as an Adeptus should.
As he feared, their connection was already too strong. There was no way to sever it.
That’s why, when Aether hugged him, Xiao didn’t move away. When Aether stroked his hair, he closed his eyes. When Aether kissed his neck, Xiao ran his fingers through his long hair. When Aether kissed him, he answered it with the same longing as before.
For a moment, Aether decided to forget. Yes, this meeting and this conversation didn’t make any sense. But Xiao was with him for a few moments. That’s all he needed. They can’t be like they used to, but Aether can forget for a moment, his schemes as the abyss prince, and just live.
“You know…” The prince said between kisses. “If in the end, I have to be killed, please be the one who would do it.”
Aether looked at Xiao seriously, and with hope.
To that, the Yaksha only found one answer.
“I will.”
Xiao could never kill Aether of his own free will but if it's an order...
After all, he promised a long time ago that, if Aether cannot bring himself to kill, he shall call his name.