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It was a regular evening, Haru went out for a walk when as the sun was setting, walks would usually clear his head whenever Haru would get lonely. Things were slow lately.
His school was fine, his friends were fine. But Haru felt like something was missing, sighing slowly, he didn't have to think, he knew what was missing. His mind forced itself away from the thought of her, hoping for some relief from the pain. Even though he was still determined to have her back, just for now, he wouldn't hurt.
And once he felt that, he rested in the quiet for a few minutes, until something diverted his attention, he heard something fall- or someone, from a allay between houses in the estate. He rushed over to see what happened.
Haru's faced softened as he saw what happened; Rin, she had collapsed on the ground, Haru cursed and began to exam her, her face was pale and cold, her body was thinner, Haru figured she had been skipping meals.
"Oh Rin," he sighed "You can hate me all you want, but at least this didn't happen when I was around." he sighed to himself, then he gently began lifting her into his arms.
Once she was settled in his arms, completely unconscious, but to Haru's relief she was still breathing. He took her to his house, his parents were out for dinner tonight and he let Rin rest on his bed, prepping the pillows the way she liked, and covering her with blankets.
He took her temperature, she had a fever, so he got a hot water bottle, resting it under her head, her breathing got better and as Haru sat down at his desk table to make sure she was okay.
A little while passed when he heard movement, he looked her, Rin was awake, he walked over "Hey? Are you okay? You had a bad fall." he informed her softly, his hand on her forehead to check her temp again.
"What the hell happened?" Rin asked harshly, Haru sighed "You fell, Rin. You collapsed, you're sick."
"I'm fine, where even am I?" Rin responded, sitting up and pushing his hand off. Haru shook his head "You're sick, lay down and we're at my house, you're in my bed."
"Haru what the hell?!"
'That was expected.' Haru thought. He looked at her softly and smiled "I brought you here to keep you safe, so you wouldn't die of starvation."
"What the hell are you on about?" Rin asked, Haru sighed, sitting beside her as Rin shrugged off her blanket, Haru resisted scolding her for it.
"You are sick, I would rather you get better, even if you get to give out to me like I'm Hatori, I don't care. I just want you to get better."
"You're not my boyfriend, it's not your job, or your place to kidnap me-"
"I didn't kidnap you, I brought home my friend who is sick, so she'd get better." Haru told her, she looked at him, glaring, when Haru looked at her in return, he realised it was the first time she had looked at him in a long time.
"Stop interrupting me." Rin requested, Haru sighed "I'm sorry, I didn't wanna pick a fight."
"Well, that's my job so leave that to me." Rin responded rolling her eyes, Haru sighed "I'm going to get you some pjs, you keep shivering."
"I'm fine." Rin said as Haru had already made it over to his dresser and grabbed a pair of his. Rin didn't object when he gently passed them to her. She silently wrapped the blanket over herself once more.
"Are you gonna watch me get changed? Perv?" Rin asked, Haru shook his head, turning his head. He heard slight shuffling and some clothes drop, he turned around a moment later to find Rin in his pjs.
Haru smiled, she was listening to him. "Stop smirking, you didn't win anything."
"Any battle I win against you, and your adorable stubbornness is always a win, in my book." Haru retorted, smiling slightly.
Rin glared "I am not stubborn."
"Stubborn people say that."
"Fuck you!"
"This is a bad time for us to discuss that activity."
"You're disgusting."
"And you're still shivering, get under the blankets, or you'll freeze."
Rin glared once again, turning away from him, not obeying his advice, Haru looked to the ground in defeat "Rin,"
"Get out!"
"This is my room."
"I don't care, if you want me to stay here, you should go, I don't want you here, or anywhere for that matter! You're stupid and dumb and you're not worth my time!" Rin cursed out, Haru mood shifted then.
"Yeah, I got that." He responded, matching her tone this time. Which caused her to look up and her glare becoming more heated "What?"
Haru walked over to her by the bed "I said, I got that. I'm very clear what you think of me."
"You think you get to be offended?" Rin asked.
"You dumped me, and now you're using those breakup lines again when I am here to take care of you."
"Ever considered in that white haired brain of yours that I said that because it's true." Rin asked, Haru's face softened from she said, he gulped to try keep from tearing up. Rin noticed and looked away.
"Right, but I don't care about that. I just hoped you'd at least be nice, because I'm just trying to take care of you."
"I can take care of myself." Rin stated.
"I know, but now, you just have some company." Haru said. Rin looked away "I hate company."
Haru looked down "I know."
"Stop saying that."
"I know you Rin."
"Fuck off Haru, I don't want company!"
Haru looked to her once more "I want to talk."
"No."
"I'd really prefer if you didn't make all our decisions." Haru said, Rin shook her head "That's not what-"
"You left," Haru interrupted, Rin went quiet "You broke up with me, left me, I have a right to be offended and hurt."
Rin looked away again "I-" she trailed off with a sigh and went silent, Haru's concern only grew from there.
"Rin is there anything you need to tell me? About what’s been happening? You collapsed and are sick."
"I get sick that’s just my thing." Rin answered, Haru looked unconvinced, so Rin rolled her eyes and got wrapped in blankets and cuddled the hot bottle over her chest, glaring at him "Happy?"
"Not exactly."
Rin rolled her eyes "You were acting different, Rin, cold and resentful, that's not you." Haru stated.
"I have reasons." Rin answered.
"Reasons? Reasons to do it to me? What did I do?" Haru asked.
Rin gapped, she didn't want him to be the blame "Haru it’s not- It’s not you."
"Then I wanna know what it is." Haru demanded, Rin shook her head "No, it’s non of your business, accept that."
"Give me a reason to." Haru requested, desperate for an answer. In his mind, it didn't matter how much he loved her, she owe him some answers, being kept in the blue was as bad as the rejection itself.
"We are not getting back together! Ever! Accept that and just please- move on." Rin responded bluntly, harsh and venom in her voice.
Haru had gapped "I- Are you serious right now?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Rin asked, Haru sighed "I think a discussion should be in order."
"For what?" Rin scoffed, looking away.
"For us." Haru said, Rin didn't respond, at least not right away. "Why?"
"Because, we broke up, we're done." Rin stated, she looked to him again "I do not want to see you, ever. I wish you would understand that."
When Haru didn't respond, Rin looked to the ground again, trying not to focus on him, every time she looked to him she glared, glaring with the rage of getting comfortable in his presence.
She needed to be strong, do anything to keep him safe. Yelling at him, and him yelling back isn't ideal, but if it at least keeps at a distance that makes sure he'll leave, that he'll leave for good.
She looked to him again, as he went looking through his drawers again, he was mumbling to himself, which he did when he was looking for something. As she stared at him, she began to think.
'When you want something done, you do it yourself.' she thought 'I need him to be gone, for his own good, when he's gone, I won't be distracted by-' Rin's thoughts were interrupted when he took off his shirt 'Fuck I forgot how ripped he is.' she cursed in her head.
'I want this done, I need Haru gone, in order to make him leave, I give him what he wants.' Rin thought, realizing that if she played him like a fool, he'd go. Maybe leave her for good. The thought did seem cruel and something she didn't want to consider, it would hurt him more. But ultimately give him everything he wanted.
'What does Haru want?' Rin thought, looking to him again, he was still turned away as he got changed into his own pjs, her eyes shifted when his head dropped down to his desk.
Rin tried not to make a react as Haru stopped and stared at an old photo of them sitting on his desk. He seemed intrigued by it. "Haru?"
Haru grunted "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm always fine, don't you worry about it."
"Haru, I have to ask you something."
Haru turned around facing her again "What's up?" he asked.
"What if we made a deal?" she asked, possibly ruining everything she built with him even more.
"What kinda deal?" he asked, looking curious. Rin took a deep breath, looking into his eyes "You and I, I’ll stay with you tonight, not just here, actually be with you."
Haru looked her at her curiously. Rin hesitated, it didn't look like an happy curiosity "We’ll be together, just for tonight."
Rin's question sent Haru reeling, she wanted to what- "Then what?" Haru asked, bluntly. Rin sighed before answering with a harsh tone "Then you leave me the hell alone."
Haru narrowed his eyes "What?" he asked, Rin rolled her eyes impatiently "Just stay with me, for tonight and then-"
"You want me to- leave you? For good? Over- Over A FUCKING SEXUAL FAVOUR?!"
"It's not a sexual favor." Rin mumbled. Haru glared "Really? So what did you mean?"
"I am giving you what you want for what I want, what is the problem?" Rin asked, Haru gapped "You don't see it."
"No I don't, because we’re done Haru, why bother act like we’re not." Rin stated harshly, looking away. Haru stopped, his eyes blurred and he knew he was about to cry.
"We’re not done." Haru argued back, his voice breaking, his heart was pounding in his chest like this pain was re- entering his own heart.
"Yes we are. I said so." Rin declared. Haru felt a tear drip down his cheek as that remark broke him.
"IT WAS A RELATIONSHIP!" He shouted, catching her off guard "We were in love! That isn’t something you just decide goes away!" he yelled, his emotions pouring out to her.
"I did! It’s gone!" Rin yelled back.
"No! You wanted a break up! I didn't!" Haru confessed, Rin looked away, as if she was trying to ignore him.
Haru was sobbing, she could hear that, even if she didn't look at him, so he carried on "And you didn’t ask my opinion! You just clobbered me with it! As if my opinion on our relationship didn’t matter!"
Rin sniffed "Haru I had- I had reasons." she said quietly.
"Had? Or have?" Haru asked bluntly.
"Both."
"Damn it, damn it all Rin, you just-" Haru began mumbling, as he had finished crying, he didn't know what the fuck was happening, she wanted him to be her sexual favour, that would end in him walking out.
Which was something he never imagined doing, even after the breakup, he didn't want it to be over, in his heart it couldn't be over until he was sure it was.
"What? I’m not fragile, you can insult me all you want." Rin responded.
"What's the point, it’s not like I would mean any of it. It’s nothing but my rage and I’m not taking that out on you." Haru confessed, Rin scoffed "Then what was that stupid tantrum?"
That had Haru even more angrier than ever, she was ignoring his feelings, again. "MY FEELINGS! Because this time I actually said them! Okay?" he responded. Rin looked up again, silently, her eyes changed into sorrow "Okay." she said.
Haru wanted his point across, he wasn't going to give up "I don’t want to be someone you should sell yourself out for! You deserve better than that!"
"Then what do you want?!" Rin shouted, she was getting angry now, glaring at him harshly, and it was matching his "I want to love you! I want the us back that were happy! When we loved each other and it wasn’t unrequited! I want to love you, fully."
Rin gapped, opened her mouth and just whispered ".... I said no."
Haru inhaled sharply "Then I’m going downstairs because I refuse to do any fucking ultimatum that ends us." he remarked harshly, turning to leave.
The door shut, and Rin gasped out a sob, beginning to cry out of frustration. She lay back down on his bed, crying. She could smell him well, it was a comfort to her. Maybe the last comfort she has of him.
The more she thought about that, the more she began to look around to think of the memories she shared here. Sobbing more, and wiping her eyes.
Haru was gone. He walked out of the room, it wasn't abandonment, she already got that covered, but it didn't mean it hurt any less when the door shut "I love you." she whispered, knowing well he couldn't hear, but never the less made the sentiment true.
The crying died down, and she cuddled up into the blankets, the comforting scent, was like an extra blanket, Rin just hoped that she could actually sleep, being in bed was her favourite place, but it felt wrong... so wrong, without her favourite person.
The kitchen light was off, all Haru could see was pure darkness from the comfort of his living room couch. But it was annoying, because it meant he wasn't sleeping because of an annoying light keeping him up.
He was up because of her, because she was on his mind, and he couldn't prevent it, her existence made his existence worth while. Haru wasn't proud of that, he should have things to live for, hobbies, interests and friends. But suddenly, without warning... they would all drop at the sight of her.
Haru sighed in annoyance, turning and tossing to regain comfort, he was going to sleep tonight.... at some point. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out.
In and out, in and out, in and-
A noise, Haru heard a noise, he opened his eyes, someone was walking, he hoped it wasn't one of his parents so he wouldn't get interrogated for sleeping on the couch.
"Haru? Are you awake?"
It was Rin, she was still awake, Haru sat up, looking to her, his put his feelings aside, she looked unwell again, he hoped it wasn't a nightmare "Hmm? What’s up? Do you need anything?"
Rin didn't answer, she strode over and sat on the couch by his legs, Her face inches from his, "I can't sleep." she whispered.
"That makes two of us." Haru chuckled, smiling a little, Rin wasn't smiling, her lip began to tremble "Haru, please. Please stay with me, just stay." she asked, tears spilled from his eyes and she tried to wipe them away from embarrassed, mumbling an apology.
Haru exhaled out a breath as he was sure a crack just entered his heart, he gently moved her hands away and wiped her tears from her eyes "Okay, okay. You don’t have to be upset, I’ll stay." he assured, Rin looked up to make sure.
"It's okay, let's go, okay?" he said, holding her hand, Rin nodded and Haru began to lead to back to his room. Haru grabbed the blanket he had, as they walked back, Haru let her hand go and put the blanket over her shoulders.
"Are uhm, are you cold?" he asked, Rin shook her head "No, but thanks."
Haru gave a weak smile when she turned to him, their eyes locking gazes.
His eyes, for a second that's all she focused on, until he looked away to enter the bedroom, part of her felt like it was theirs, so used to staying here, felt like home. Deep down she knew it only felt like home because he was there.
As they got to the bed, Haru gestured to Rin to get in first, she got into her spot and settled again, Haru moved in beside her.
"Is this okay?" he asked, Rin turned over, the two were facing each other again, closer, like old times "Yeah, it's- it's fine."
"Good, you need sleep, you're still sick."
"Shut up."
Haru smirked "Sure, but I'm calling Hatori tomorrow."
"I hate you."
"You hate Hatori more though."
Rin scoffed, and Haru cuddled the blankets again, settling sweetly, Rin watched him intently, it didn't feel real, their relationship was over, and that hurt was still very much lingering in his eyes.
'Maybe, just for now...' she thought, going closer 'I can stop hurting him' she thought, leaning in, to kiss him, one last time.
When she leaned in, Haru thought, she wanted more blanket, because there was no way she wanted him, not the way she used to anyway, but she never reached for the blanket.
That's when he knew, he had to stop, before it got to much that he wouldn't survive the next rejection "Don’t." Haru warned.
"What?" she asked, seemly confused.
"Don’t kiss me." Haru whispered, watching as remorse entered her eyes.
"Haru-" Rin tried, "Don’t kiss me," Haru repeated, her response died down "Not, unless you’re ready to mean it."
Rin didn't respond, she gapped but remained still. Haru turned to the ceiling, looking it, so he wouldn't have to look at her like that.
She was in his house, and offered to stay, for a night. If Rin hadn't suggested it as an ultimatum, he would have taken it, in a heartbeat, he wouldn't have yelled.
He would be cuddling her right now, kissing her, holding her, making love to her, the way he used to, knowing damn well a single feeling hadn't changed at all.
He turned around, faced the ceiling, he couldn't even look at her. Rin continued to watch him, with a faint sigh of how she missed them when they were happy.
The sound of his laughed echoed in her head, and her laughter, his hands trailing around her body, and the way her skin would burn from a single touch. And how his kisses felt like magic, so pure, so perfect, so loving, she was always sure it didn't match reality.
But watching him now, she knows its over, really over, and right now it's the last thing she's ever wanted. Her anger flared, she wanted this curse gone, then if she got at least something worked out for a life, she wouldn't have a reason to protect him, no curse, no reason to be apart, at least on her side of it.
'Even if I’ll get a chance for us- I’ve ruined everything.' she thought. She turned around to the other wall, silently letting tears fall.
A small while passed for Haru, Rin was falling asleep, he could hear it in her breathing. Haru sighed and began to cry, he tried to hold it in so he doesn’t wake her.
'It’s fine. I’ll just cry in the shower tomorrow and then maybe after dinner, in the bathroom at school- lots of time to cry.' he thought, holding in a whimper, and pinching his eyes closed.
His eyes flicked open, a moment later, he noticed that someone was wiping away a tear, he looked over to Rin, her face was full of sympathy.
"You’re crying Haru." she breathed, like a haunted whisper.
"Yeah, I know." Haru whimpered.
"Why? Why are you crying?"
"Because I’m scared."
"Scared of what?" Rin asked, fear evident in her voice.
"I'm- I'm scared that you’re right. That we’re over and that maybe non of my love can change that." he confessed, looking away from her face.
Rin went quiet, no response, almost as if she didn't care, her body shifted and she turned away again. Haru turned the other away. Keeping them apart, no matter how close they were, this distance didn't feel like it was going to disappear anytime soon.
They fell asleep, in sleep, Haru's unconscious mind ended up cuddling her, Rin was pressed against his warm chest, content in sleep. Haru's arm resting around her waist gently, like it belonged there. Their hands resting above their heads on the pillows, almost holding each other, but staying touched. He didn't know it, but it was the closest he's got to her in a long time.
When Haru woke up, he noticed immediately, that Rin was snuggled in his arms, her face was less pale, better rested, her breathing was healthy, sleeping soundly, in his arms. He pressed his lips to her forehead as she slept.
Wishing that, this was how things were, so simple and loving. No more of the complicated remains that is his reality. That's what he wants, a normal morning where he knows she won't flee first chance she'll get. Haru scoffed as he tears up again, laughing at his lack of surprise, he knows she'll run, again. He doesn't know why he's upset, it was always in the inevitable.
He rests his hand on his propped up hand, watching her sleep, while he still can. Ignoring the tears that drip to his pillow. Eventually, Rin woke, her eyes blinking as she adjusts to what she's looking at. He reads nerves her facial expression.
"H-hi," she greeted.
"Hi."
"W-we cuddled." she stated. Haru nodded "Probably just habit, you know, from being a couple." he said. Rin nodded "Yeah, but, doesn't mean anything."
"Yeah," he said, "I know."
Rin moved out of the embrace, ready to sit up, Haru looked away, mentally kicking himself as his visions continues to blur with tears, she left the bed, standing up, he's ready for her to walk out, until he's turned around, by her hand at his cheek "Haru, please, please don't cry. This is good, this is goodbye." Rin told him, Haru looked up at her, from his sitting position at his bed, almost begging her.
"No, I have to believe there’s another way, I don’t wanna lose you." he confessed.
Rin shook her head, sniffing "You already have."
"I can’t have these few hours with you if it meant forever without." He whispered, Rin dropped her hand, letting it linger in his hair "You don’t have a choice."
"I- Please, stay with me." he begged, standing up to her, asking for another chance, he cupped her face, loving how perfectly her face fit in the palm of his hand. She turned away, ignoring him "I’m getting dressed, goodbye Haru."
His body dropped down to the bed again, hearing her shuffle away as she changed, she handed him back his pjs, he took the oppurtunity to grasp her hand again. She lingered, for just a sweet moment, but moments never last long.
Haru couldn’t move as he watched the love of his life slip away, her hand that he graced with his shifted away and she had left the room. A moment of silence passed until he heard his front door open and shut.
She was gone. A trembling sob broke out and Haru buried his face in hands as he almost screamed out his cries, sat there on his bed crying his broken heart out. Trying not to feel it, trying so desperately not to feel this pain.
He wanted her back, he needed her back. She kept him centered, something that made he feel like he could be himself and happy with himself, but apparently that wasn’t enough, he wasn’t enough for her.
She wanted him gone so bad that she offered herself up like a prize, Haru knew better than that, she was whole human being, who deserved to be loved, and he did love her. He never once shown her that he didn’t. She was everything, his heart, his mind, his soul and his love. But most of all, she was his home.
"Come back Rin, p- please I’ll do anything. You were my home. Please come back home." words spoken, but never heard. Not by the girl who was running away, away from everything she'd known.
Without a knowledge of their future, they had no idea it was their last night together for a long time, until the day comes and Haru finds Rin collapsed on the street, knowing the truth for once and all.