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I was exactly aware that between eight professionals, whose specialty was to detect and decode human feelings and thoughts it wasn’t a thing that I could hide for long, but I couldn’t help my feelings either.
As I was sitting in a bar, at a table next to which Aaron, Garcia, and Rossi sat, looking in their direction, I was a bit braver in staring. At the field I’d never do this, but what could go wrong in a crowded place? I scanned Hotch’s profile, that one little spot on his face, and his cute, rarely-seen dimples as he laughed at something silly Garcia told them enthusiastically.
"Look, JJ, she's doing it again" I heard Emily's voice suddenly. I winced because it was unexpected and close to my ears. I immediately caught my gaze off Aaron, my slight smile disappeared from my lips, and turned in the direction of my colleague's voice.
"She definitely does," JJ nodded. Both of them were already sitting next to me at the table, looking at me, smirking expectantly.
"Who does what?" I asked as if I wasn't facing two of the best BAU profilers. Hope springs eternal.
"And she thinks we're blind" Emily stated. I burst into laughter. "Or stupid" she added.
“So what’s with you and that gentleman at the other table?” Jennifer asked, grinning.
“I have zero interest in David Rossi, geez” I rolled my eyes.
“Clever” Emily laughed. “Now what about the other one?” She lifted her eyebrows challengingly.
"I'm not sober enough to talk about this," I laughed looking down inside my glass. I sipped from my cocktail, signing the end of the conversation.
"Oh no, little French bird, we need an explanation" Prentiss looked at me ever so seriously. "You never drink that much. Plus, you should give up since we know exactly how you feel," she winked.
"And we see how you look at Hotch" JJ agreed. I wished I could drown in my cocktail.
"And I see that you're not sober enough either" I murmured under my nose.
"You should've just told it to us" Emily furrowed her brows, before sipping her own drink. "We're the best wingwomen in the area."
"I don't know if you've already noticed it, but he's our boss" I looked at Prentiss a bit more annoyed than I intended to. "You have such amazing profiling skills, you should use it sometimes" I added. She laughed out loud, but instead of replying she drank out her cocktail.
"Ask him out, Daiz," JJ said as she took the wheel and tried to encourage instead of just mocking.
"It's not how it works" I shook my head. I gave up resisting. They knew everything anyway, and to be painfully honest, it felt relieving to finally share my feelings with someone.
"Why not?" Emily asked back enthusiastically.
"Because one, he's my superior, and two, he never ever showed any signs of sharing my feelings, that's why" I sighed.
"Yes, because he's Aaron Hotchner" JJ argued. "He rarely shows his feelings, especially if those would be about a colleague he likes."
I remained silent, partly because I knew that at some level she was right. I played with my glass, not really knowing what to say.
"But what should I tell him?" I sighed. "I can't go up to him and say 'hey, Hotch, would you like to go on a d…'"
I surely would continue, but as I was speaking I noticed JJ nudging Emily's arm, who immediately made eye contact with me and smirked. They seemed excited, which I thought would be dangerous in the given situation, so I shut up at the exact second.
My blood froze in my veins as the spoken man seated on the chair right next to me.
"Can I join you, ladies?" he asked as he put his glass of beer on the table. "Garcia drank a bit too much while being obsessed with Morgan dancing, and I just couldn't bear any further listening to her, what would she like to do with which part of him" he scratched his eyebrow in awkwardness, but we all laughed anyway.
"We were just going to grab some more drinks," Emily said. I looked at her, trying to say I kill you with my gaze as clearly as I could. "Do you need anything?" she asked sweetly, looking straight back into my eyes. I didn't say a word but surely felt my face turning red. My eyes jumped on JJ, who smirked under her nose amusedly.
"I'm good, thanks" Aaron replied loudly to shout through the music, but still in a soft tone. JJ nodded in response, then they left us.
"So, Garcia is a fun company, isn't she?" I turned to Hotch, just to break the awkward… well, not silence, but situation. He looked me in the eye and smiled so wide I had maybe never seen him do so. He suddenly leaned a bit closer, for not having to shout what he wanted to say.
"I would really like the idea if you ever asked," he told me, then immediately pulled back to make eye contact again. I stared at him in disbelief but mirrored his wide beam anyway.
"Consider it done," my tongue said before my brain could process what was happening.
"What about brunch tomorrow?" he asked happily. "I'm not brave enough to offer breakfast" he laughed and I joined.
"Perfect," I nodded.
"I'll pick you up then," Aaron said content, before drinking a little from his beer. Hundreds of thousands of millions of butterflies appeared in my stomach flying around so fast, I was truly afraid I'd fly away too.
"Do you like this song?" I asked, feeling now brave and relaxed.
"You wanna dance?" he asked back, lifting one of his eyebrows encouragingly.
"It'd be fun" I smiled lightly.
"Let's go then" Hotch stood up, giving me his palm to help me up as well. I accepted the gesture gladly. "Just so you know, I have two left feet," he shouted as we were heading towards the dance floor. As we managed through the mass, my gaze found JJ and Emily sitting at the bar, watching us obviously. I nodded towards them, getting a little happy wave from JJ in return. I knew I couldn't prepare myself for the amount of I told you so-s I would get from Prentiss.
"Even better, Garcia won't switch to you from Morgan" I replied finally when Aaron found a little empty place for us and we stood face to face again. He grimaced painfully, but laughed anyway, filling my heart with joy, love, and gratefulness.