Work Text:
The second time it happens, Izuto is more stable.
His (is it his, or just something from his part?) scar no longer trails down his neck and shoulder, and his hair is no longer a mix of green and red with nowhere to go.
He sits on the bench for hours, not even noticing when the sun sets and night comes, just pondering about who he is and who he wants to be.
He has only existed 2 times, and he does not know much about himself despite his name (Izuto Midoriya, because while Midoriya is warmth and safety and kindness, Todoroki is hurt and burning and sadness and rage) but the one thing he is absolutely sure of is that he wants to keep existing as long as he is allowed to by Izuku and Shouto.
He takes out his phone and uses the camera to check how he looks to catalog it in his mind.
His hair is split in the middle like Shouto's is, except the left side is green like Izuku's hair. He has Shouto's scar and Izuku's freckles, his right eye gray and left eye turquoise.
When he eventually notices the time, the first thing he does is panic because surely his mother must be worried to death (he does not think about Endeavor.) He searches for his phone, finding it in his back pocket and almost out of battery.
He does not take into account the fact that he is a fusion and his mother will not know him as he searches for his mother's contact on the phone and calls.
When she finally answers, asking who's calling (his phone number ended up being Shouto's when the phones fused) he bursts into tears.
Izuto does not understand why he is crying, but hearing his mother brought him over the edge of his emotions (he concludes he must really love her, adding it to the mental list of who he is.)
His mother worries over him even though she does it is him, which just makes him cry all the more. He shouldn't be crying this much, but he supposes he must just be a crybaby like Izuku.
Eventually, he manages to calm down with her assistance, but with his mind now clear he is overtaken by another emotion; fear (he hates being afraid, even though it was the first clear emotion he ever felt.)
What if she doesn't believe him? What if she tells him he is not her son, what if she doesn't approve, what if, what if, what if.
He takes in a deep breath, steadying his hand as his mother patiently waits for him to get ready to speak even when she doesn't know he is her son because that is just how she is.
"Mom? Sorry I didn't tell you where I was, I'm heading home now."
He hangs up before she can answer him, too afraid, always too afraid (he feels disappointment as he mentally marks himself a coward.)
Standing up from the bench he has spent hours on, his backside completely numb, he starts walking towards home where his mother is waiting for him.
Home. It feels normal to think of it as such and of Midoriya as his mother, yet a part of himself still feels nervous (and afraid) at the concept of a home, of a place to belong where he isn't 'trained' by Endeavor (Endeavor, because Izuto can see that he has never been a father.)
When he arrives at the apartment complex and makes his way to the door, he does not bother knocking and uses his key instead because this is his home (he does not need to walk on silent feet or sneak around, because this is his home and his mother would never hurt him, not like Endeavor does.)
"Izuku? Is that you?"
A pang of disappointment (and fear) shoots through his heart at hearing his mother call for Izuku, but he shoves it down as he has always done (he has only existed 2 times, and this is the first time he has done so) and forces himself to walk deeper into the apartment (his home, yet for some reason, the idea of this house being his home is suddenly a lot more uncomfortable.)
His mother (Inko, because she is not his mother, because Inko would never hut him as his mother did (even though he does not blame her)) gasps softly when she sees him, visibly making connections until standing carefully and walking over to him.
"Izuku..?"
Izuto can not take it anymore, because that isn't his name but it is and suddenly everything is too much and he can't handle it, and he feels like he is being torn in two and he feels fear because he does not want it to end yet, does not want to not exist again, he wants to stay and live-
But alas, his wants mean nothing to the two parts that make him and he splits.