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Jake stares at his timetable in displeasure. He thought his 6th-year would be a lot better than his previous two years in which he was stuck with the worst Transfiguration professor of all time, Professor Song who single-handedly ruined Jake’s fourth year and fifth year. Call him dramatic, but he thinks being called upon in class to show his classmates how a certain spell is done, only for him to muck it up which leads to Professor Song tripping house points away from Gryffindor which meant Ravenclaw had won the House Cup for the past two years, is pretty much warranted for Jake not looking forward to Transfiguration this year. 

Jake wonders what he has done wrong in his sixteen years of life. Maybe this is happening to him all because he ate the box of chocolates he was supposed to give his mom for Mother’s Day. Or maybe this is happening because he didn’t help that old lady across the road when he was thirteen. 

Jake drops his timetable down on the table and surveys the Great Hall. Everyone was comparing their timetables, which each Head of House had handed to them, with each of their friends. Some wore jubilation, while others wore disappointment. Jake hopes he shares some classes with people he knows, like Taehyun and Huening, or Isa and Chaeyun. 

Beside him, Beomgyu loudly sits down. “Jakey! Let’s see your timetable.” 

Jake doesn’t even have time to reach for his timetable before Beomgyu snatches it away. His eyes dart over the flimsy sheet of parchment before his mouth pulls away to reveal a blindingly white set of teeth that could easily be mistaken for pearls. “Professor Song again this year, huh?” 

“Don’t remind me,” Jake groans into his hands. 

“You better start earning House Points right now, I don’t want to lose to Ravenclaw again. I’ll owe Heeseung three hundred dollars if we lose.” 

“Three hundred dollars?” 

“He bet five hundred dollars Ravenclaw would win again -- oh and that he’ll buy all the food on the Trolley Lady’s trolley.” 

“What the fuck.” 

“What? It’s not like the Trolley Lady will run out of sweets, it refills almost instantly!” 

“I don’t care about the sweets, Gyu, I care about the money. Who would bet five hundred dollars on a measly House tournament?” 

“Don’t call the Interhouse-tournament measly, Jakey.” 

“Sorry, Beomgyu.” 

“You don’t sound like you mean it.” 

Jake snatches back his timetable. “Whatever. Don’t ask me to fund the three hundred dollars you have to give to Heeseung at the end of the year.” 

Beomgyu rolls his eyes and reaches for some toast. “Have some faith, Jake, I’ll make sure to earn lots of points too. I’m sure I could rope Yuna into our little GoFundMe for more Gryffindor points -- do you think we’ll be able to convince Huening to ask if the points he earns could go towards Gryffindor? Is that even possible? Maybe I should go ask him right now! Where’s Taehyunnie?”

“He’s sitting at the Ravenclaw table with Kai. I can’t believe you would rather spend time with your boyfriend over me.”

“You could be joining me if you had manned up and asked out Heeseung the previous year. And the year before last year -- and any other year at Hogwarts.” 

“Just go visit your boyfriend. I’m already getting tired of you.” 

“Be nice to your elders.” 

“Treat people the way you want to be treated, Gyu.” 

“Jake, you’re not as nice as people say you are. Oh, Sunoo and Jungwon just entered the hall! Go talk to them instead of sitting here like some stupid loser.” 

“It takes one to know one!” 

“Nice comeback, Jakey!” Beomgyu shouts over his shoulder with a wide grin as he power walks over to where his boyfriend sat with Huening Kai, a fellow Ravenclaw. 

Jake scowls. 

“Hey, Jake,” Sunoo drops into the spot Beomgyu had just left open. “Let’s see your timetable.” 

Jungwon sits on Jake’s other side and reaches for some food. “You have Professor Song again, don’t you?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Sucks.” 

“Ooo! Maybe Won and I could help you with Transfiguration!” 

“Sunoo, no, what the hell. Don’t include me if you want to help Jake out with Transfiguration. He’s a lost cause.” 

“Jungwon, what the fuck?” 

“Do you want me to apologize for speaking the truth?” 

“Well, you didn’t have to be so blunt about it.” 

Jungwon shrugs and grabs Jake’s timetable from Sunoo, “which class do you share with Ravenclaw? Hopefully, it’s Transfiguration, because you could get all buddy-buddy with Sunghoon and then through Sunghoon you could become friends with Heeseung and then ask him for help.” 

“What? Why?”

“Because Heeseung is a seventh-year in Ravenclaw and he’s one of the best Transfiguration students -- according to Professor Song.” 

Jake glares at Jungwon. “Whose side are you on?” 

“Do I really have to pick sides?”

“ Yes! Since when were you buddy-buddy with Professor Song?”

“Ever since he became a Prefect,” Sunoo answers for Jungwon, filling his goblet up to the brim with pumpkin juice. 

“It’s only been like, a day.” 

Jungwon shrugs, “perks of being good at Transfiguration.” 

“I’m going to strangle you one day.” 

“At least let him confess his love for Jay,” Sunoo remarks, hiding his smirk behind his goblet. 

“Sunoo, shut up.” 

“Don’t tell Sunoo to shut up, Jungwon.” 

“Since when did you pick sides, Jake?” 

“Since now.” 

Jungwon scowls. “I hope Heeseung punches you.” 

“Jungwon, what the hell? Why are you so violent?” 

“His parents found out Jungwon was trying to smuggle Maeumi into Hogwarts yesterday,” Sunoo, once again, answers for Jungwon. 

Jake stares at Jungwon, incredulous. “You tried to bring a dog into Hogwarts?”

“Maeumi is my emotional support dog.” 

“Why would you need an emotional support dog, Jungwon?” 

“Why are you questioning it, Jake?” 

“Because do emotional support dogs even exist?” 

“Yes.” 

Jake sighs. “It’s too early for this. What class do you have first?” 

“Divination,” Sunoo says eagerly, “I love Divination!” 

“That’s because you can see something other than fog. It’s a stupid and boring subject,” Jungwon seethes. 

“Why are you taking it then?” Jake asks. 

“Because Sunoo is.”

“Ah, I should’ve known that.” 

Jungwon scowls at Jake. “Come on, let’s go Sunoo, obviously we’re not welcome here.” 

Jake rolls his eyes, but he lets his friends leave him all alone at the Gryffindor table. 

Jake was in a rush to get to his Transfiguration class. He was definitely going to be late, which wouldn’t end well considering he has Professor Song as his teacher. Jake scolds himself for getting too caught up in the conversation he was having with Lily M in the middle of the hallway. It wasn’t his intention to waste away time, but it’s been ages since he last saw Lily. 

It was nice catching up with her. Jake wonders if they could go back to Australia together. He desperately wants to get away from the gray and cloudy British weather and the term has just started. Even though Jake’s been called a ball of sunshine before, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to bring the sun out in England. It’s just too hard. 

So, as Jake rushes down the steps to reach the Transfiguration classroom, he doesn’t notice his foot skipping a step. He’s too lost in his own head. He realizes he’s going down a second too late. Jake’s books spill across the stairs as his knees buckle and crash onto the floor, his torso following soon after. 

Hot pain explodes up Jake’s leg, starting from the ankle. He whimpers and pushes himself into a sitting position on the floor. His hand wraps around his ankle which already feels hot to touch, and it’s throbbing like a little bitch. Jake clenches his jaw and scolds himself for getting too lost in his own thoughts. 

How stupid could one person get? 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

Jake glances up the stairs, ready to assure whoever it was that he was okay, and then hobble off to class -- but his mind goes blank when he recognizes Heeseung Lee standing a step above Jake, his neck craning down and concern etched on his face. Jake can’t help but stare at the older boy as he cradles his ankle. 

Heeseung Lee is like a gift from the Wizarding Gods, Jake is sure of it. If Jake really put his mind to it, he could wax all sorts of poetic feelings about Heeseung Lee, but right now, Jake’s too lovestruck to even compare Heeseung to a flower or the bright sunny skies in Australia. All he can focus on is how cute and hot Heeseung appears to be, simultaneously -- like, how the fuck is that possible? 

Heeseung has a cute button nose, cute round eyes, cute ears, cute cheeks -- god, don’t even get Jake started on Heeseung’s hair that is oh so shaggy today as it falls into his eyes. And. . . Heeseung’s cupid-bow lips. Jake’s too far gone for someone like Heeseung Lee. 

Jake squints. Heeseung’s hair is a little different today -- it’s not the same black it usually is, it looks --

“Hey, are you okay?” Heeseung asks again. 

Jake flushes a brilliant scarlet. 

“Yeah. Sorry, I just fell over. Haha.” 

How awkwarder could Jake get? God, no wonder he hasn’t had a boyfriend yet. Are all homosexuals like Jake? Awkward and pathetic? (Not that he means it in a rude way. Just, Jake gets pathetic whenever he’s around a really hot guy. His mind goes blank and allows anything and everything to flow out of his mouth. He has a serious problem). 

“Do you need help?” 

“I’m fine.” 

Heeseung still bends down to help collect Jake’s fallen items from his bag laying uselessly on the floor. 

Heeseung packs the back and holds it out for Jake. “Here.” 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

Jake doesn’t reach for the bag. His limbs have also decided to stop working. 

It’s like the world has it out for him today. Jake can’t take this awkwardness, so he pushes himself up -- only to hiss loudly and lift his ankle off the floor. He hopes it’s just a small sprain, nothing too major. Hopefully, it’s something he can walk off with his pride still fully tact. 

Heeseung, however, has a different idea. 

“You should probably go to the infirmary to get that checked out.” 

“I’ll be fine. I just need to walk it off.” Jake finally grabs his back from Heeseung’s hold. He’s never going to wash this bag ever again. It’s been blessed by Heeseung Lee. “The pain will go away in a couple of hours. At best.” 

Jake takes a step forward and almost collapses if it weren’t for Heeseung’s arm around his waist. 

Jake freezes. 

Heeseung Lee is holding him. 

He never wants to wake up from this dream. 

“Seriously, you should go to the infirmary.” 

Jake takes this opportunity to have the magnificent Heeseung Lee help nurse silly, gay, and awkward Sim Jaeyun back to health.

“Okay. Could you help me get to the infirmary?” 

“Of course. Are you comfortable?” 

Jake grins cheesily. “Never been more comfortable.” 

Jake sucks at flirting and he immediately wants to suck his words back into his brain. Heeseung doesn’t say anything though, so Jake takes it as a win, and together, they walk to the infirmary. One hobbling, while the other. . . Doesn’t hobble. Just walks normally. Like Jake should’ve been doing if he hadn’t stopped and talked to Lily who seemed so intent on gossiping out their families. (Which Jake loves doing. He loves shit-talking family members. Gives him some kind of thrill for whatever reason). 

Entering the infirmary, the nurse is nowhere to be found, so Heeseung helps Jake onto a bed. 

“Thanks,” Jake smiles at Heeseung sheepishly. 

“Of course,” Heeseung responds, “I’d feel awful if I left you alone on the stairs injured.” 

“Oh.” Jake flushes another brilliant scarlet. 

It’s awkward as Heeseung stands beside the bed Jake’s sitting on. Jake doesn’t want to be rude and tell Heeseung to leave. . . But Heeseung should leave. He’s already super late to his class and Jake doesn’t want Heeseung to miss his class just because of Jake’s stupid mistake. 

“You --” 

“Jake --” 

“Oh. You can go first, Jake.” 

“No, it’s nothing. You can go first Heeseung.” 

They stare at each other and Jake swears he’s almost as bright as the sun. How is Heeseung not blushing right now? 

“Jake, I have a question for you.” Heeseung sits down on the edge of the bed, near where Jake’s throbbing and swelling ankle lay. 

“What’s up?” 

(How the fuck does Heeseung know Jake’s name?) 

(Oh, maybe because of Beomgyu and Taehyun)

Heeseung laughs awkwardly and rubs at the back of his neck, no longer making eye contact with Jake. Jake feels his gut drop. Oh no. Heeseung was probably going to ask him to stop staring, or maybe Beomgyu finally gave in to his threats and told Heeseung about Jake’s feelings. Heeseung’s here to let Jake down easily. Oh, Beomgyu is so going to get punched later tonight. 

“This is going to sound weird. . . But do you think you could write me love letters?” 

“I’ll stop staring -- what.” 

Jake blinks at Heeseung. His brain was going haywire. His brain had been plugged into the wrong hole, and now it was making these weird, fizzing sounds. Jake’s about to explode. 

“Staring?” 

“Don’t listen to me. You want me to do what? Why me? What is going on Heeseung?” 

“Write me love letters.” 

“Why? Did Beomgyu put you up to this?” 

“Beomgyu? No -- Well, he is part of the problem.” 

“When is Beomgyu ever not part of the problem.” 

Heeseung grins. 

Jake really explodes this time. 

Please never stop smiling at me Heeseung!!!

“I should probably explain myself.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I was talking to Jay and Sunghoon -- you know them right? They’re in your year?” 

“Oh, yeah, I know them.” But I’ve never talked to them because they scare me. 

“Riki was there too, you know Riki too? The chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch team?”

“Yeah, I know him.” 

“We were talking about our summer holidays, and I don’t know how it came up, but they started talking about their summer flings -- well, it was more Sunghoon and Riki, Jay’s been crushing on this one guy since forever and still hasn’t made a move -- sorry, I’m getting off track. Anyway, the conversation turned into teasing me about my non-existent love life which happens often, and at that point, it had gotten tiring so I kinda blurted out that I do have a love life and then they began questioning and I was like ‘you can’t meet him because we’re pen pals,’ and I thought that would get me off my back but then they asked to see the letters, so I had to come up with an excuse and I told them they were all at home.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, and then they were like ‘well since you’re pen pals, wouldn’t he write to you here,’ and I don’t think I could’ve escaped that one. Damn Sunghoon and his stupid logic.” 

“So. . . You want me to write love letters to you, while also being at Hogwarts?” 

“. . . Yeah.” 

“How would it even work?” 

“That’s what I was hoping to figure out with you.” 

This was a lot of information to process. 

“Why me? What’s in this for me?”

“Beomgyu was talking about you this morning.” 

“Oh? Why?” 

“He said you had Professor Song for Transfiguration and was talking about how Professor Song has it out for you because you suck at Transfiguration --” 

“I do not suck at Transfiguration!” 

“His words, not mine.” 

Jake huffs. He was so going to kill Beomgyu later tonight. 

“Anyway, I thought, if you helped me out with my dilemma, I could help you out with Transfiguration since I am the top student.” 

Jake scowls at that comment. 

“I’m not here to pressure you into it, Jake, that ball is in your court. If you don’t want to do it, that’s fine and I’ll just tell my friends the truth.” 

Jake frowns. 

What should he do?

Why is Jake even kidding himself -- he was telling himself to say yes the moment Heeseung asked. This was the perfect chance to get close to Heeseung and then have his happily-ever-after, even if it meant writing fake love letters to Heeseung. 

“Okay. Sure. I have nothing to lose.” 

Heeseung grins and reaches over to take Jake’s hand into his. “Thank you so much, Jake!” 

“No worries.” Jake hopes Heeseung ignores the blush on his face. He seems to be blushing a lot around Heeseung. 

Finally, the nurse arrives with a dozen apologies up her sleeve, but Jake doesn’t really pay her any attention. His focus is only on Heeseung. Who is holding his hand. 

“Do you want to meet up at the library tonight to talk about it more?” 

Jake nods his head, “sure.” 

“Thanks again, Jake.” 

“No problem, Heeseung.” 

Jake woke up the next morning thinking all of yesterday was a dream. But, as he glances at his bedside table and finds Heeseung’s love letter he had written last night lying there, he realized that no, yesterday wasn’t a dream. 

Another blush spreads across Jake’s cheeks and he quickly gets changed as quickly as he could. 

Entering the common room, Jake finds Beomgy and Taehyun giggling over something, and as much as he doesn’t want to ruin the moment, he has a few words to say to Beomgyu, so he strides over and tucks the parchment holding Heeseung’s love letter safely away in his cloak. 

“Beomgyu.” 

“Oh, hey Jake!” 

“I don't know whether to punch you or hug you.” 

Beomgyu and Taehyun stare at Jake with their mouths open. 

“So I’ll just hug you for now.” 

Jake pulls Beomgyu into a hug, who is still baffled. 

“Thank you,” Jake tells Beomgyu. 

“For what?”

“For being the best friend to ever exist.” 

“You’re. . . Welcome?” 

Jake draws out of the hug and ruffles Beomgyu’s hair. “We’ll talk later, I have things to do.” 

Jake dashes out of the common room. He was heading towards the owlery tower where he was supposed to pick a random owl and hope the owl delivers Heeseung his letter during breakfast. There was a lot riding on this moment since Heeseung told Jake he told Sunghoon, Jay, and Riki that he was supposed to get a letter from his ‘pen-pal’ today. 

Jake arrives at the tower, praying he doesn’t get pooped on by any owl within range. He grabs the first owl he sees and ties the letter to its leg. Taking a deep breath, he stares deep into the owl’s eyes. “Please,” Jake begs the owl, “don’t fuck this up for me.” 

The owl tilts its head to the side. 

“This is my one chance to get close to Heeseung and win him over.” 

Jake supposes writing ‘fake’ love letters to his crush is therapeutic in a way. A way no one but Jake would understand. 

“Send this letter to Heeseung Lee. You know, the one with cute doe-eyes and a cute nose -- oh and very attractive lips.” 

The owl hoots. 

“His hair has also changed color, but I don’t know what color.” 

The owl hoots again. 

“Oh. I should let you go. Okay. Deliver it to Heeseung Lee.” 

The owl flies out the window. Jake watches it fly away from the tower. Then, a large crowd of owls pass by the owl with Heeseung’s letter attached veers sharply and joins the crowd of owls. Jake’s eyes widen. It must be time for the post to arrive. Jake turns and flings himself down the stairs, once more, racing through the long and large corridors of Hogwarts to reach the Great Hall. 

Jake bursts into the Great Hall, but no one pays attention to him. He doesn’t mind. His eyes immediately go over to where Heeseung sat at the Ravenclaw table, laughing with Sunghoon and Beomgyu. 

Jake allows himself to smile softly -- and then the owls arrive. 

Jake throws himself onto the nearest open spot at the Gryffindor table and picks up a random newspaper strewn on the table. He peers over the top of the newspaper to watch Heeseung. The familiar owl comes into view and swoops down, landing directly in front of Heeseung. 

Jake holds his breath. 

Heeseung blushes and, with shaky hands, he unties the string attaching the letter to the owl’s leg. 

The owl flies away and Heeseung grips the letter tightly. 

Then, he opens it. 

Jake is still suffocating. 

As Heeseung reads the letter Jake wrote, his face gets even redder. Jake hopes he didn’t go overboard with the writing -- he just listened to what Heeseung told him last night as they sat in the library. 

“How am I supposed to write you a love letter?” Jake asks, pretending like he didn’t have a million starter sentences running through his mind. 

Heeseung chuckles, “well, it doesn’t have to be a love letter, per se, maybe start off asking about how I’ve been, make up some things that you’ve been doing, and then, I don’t know, flirt with me or something. I don’t really know how love letters work.” 

Jake allows himself to grin in amusement. “Leave it all to me, Heeseung. Is there anything you don’t want me to do?” 

“Ah, not right now.” 

“So, if I write poetically about how cute your doe eyes look like they can easily melt chocolate during the cold winter, you wouldn’t mind?”  

Heeseung blushes at that. 

Jake stifles his laugh. 

Since when was Heeseung Lee this cute? 

“Do they?” 

“Do they what?” 

“Look like they can melt chocolate during the winter?” 

“If I were in love with you, Heeseung, I would say your eyes could easily thaw my heart during the wintertime.” 

“Really?” 

“Maybe even put in, ‘they make me feel like I’m home.’”

Heeseung grows shy. 

Jake grows bolder. 

“I would say, ‘when I’m afraid, all I have to do is think of you, and every fear disappears. Because, with you, I’m fearless.’”

“Maybe just keep the melting chocolate line,” Heeseung mumbles. 

“You want to sell this don’t you?” Jake leans back in his chair, feeling smugger than he should. 

“I don't want to oversell it, Jake.” 

Jake sighs, “alright. But, I think you should call me Jaeyun when talking about the letters.” 

“Jaeyun?”

“My Korean name. No one knows it.” 

“Jaeyun.” Heeseung sounds out the name and Jake feels frozen. 

His name sounds so safe inside Heeseung’s mouth. 

“Okay. I’ll call you Jaeyun. Don’t forget to sign your letters with Jaeyun.” 

Jake grins, “I promise.” 

Jake allowed himself to indulge in his thoughts of writing Heeseing a real love letter, and signed the letter with; ‘yours forever, jaeyunnie.’ 

Jake watches Heeseung’s eyes shoot up in search of someone, so Jake ducks behind the newspaper and finally allows himself to breathe. 

After waiting a few moments, Jake looks back up. 

Sunghon grabs for the letter but Heeseung holds it away from Sunghoon. They bicker for a while, and then a hand grabs the letter out of Heeseung’s hand. The hand belonged to Jay. 

Heeseung tries to steal the letter back, but Jay hands the letter to the giant fourth-year named Riki, who cackles and reads the letter out loud. 

Jake blushes a bright red along with Heeseung. 

He wasn’t really expecting Heeseung’s friends to read the letter. 

By lunchtime, everyone was aware of Heeseung’s ‘pen-pal.’ 

Jake should’ve expected this. Heeseung Lee is quite the popular boy himself. He’s friends with everyone, Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, a brilliant prefect -- everyone was expecting Heeseung to get head boy, but instead, it went to Lim Jimin, one of Heeseung’s good friends. 

“Did you hear?” Sunoo exclaims as he slides next to Jake during lunchtime. “Heeseung has a secret lover !” 

Jungwon scoffs and takes the seat on Jake’s other side.”It’s not a secret, Sunoo. It’s more like, Heeseung has a boyfriend but no one knows who it is.” 

Jake chokes. “ Boyfriend?! ” 

“Sorry, Jake.” Sunoo pats the older boy’s back, “you missed your chance.” 

“Right. Yeah. I missed my chance.” 

“If there’s any way Wonnie and I can help you, let us know.” 

“Why are you always volunteering me without discussing it first?” 

“Because that’s what friends do, Won. Do things without being asked.” 

“Sounds stupid if you ask me.” 

Sunoo chucks his bread at Jungwon. “And you wonder why you’ll never get Jay to like you back.” 

Jungwon raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Well, how come you never told me about your crush on Sunghoon Park ?” 

Sunoo grows bright red. 

“Wha -- I -- what? Where did you hear that from? It’s false. It’s not true.” 

“Really? So, you don’t mind Kai asking him out?” 

“What?!” 

Jungwon snickers. 

“So, you have a crush on Sunghoon?” 

Sunoo pouts. “I do.” 

Jake glances over his shoulder and over to the Ravenclaw table. Heeseung sits with Taehyun and they both seem to be in deep conversation, oblivious to the stares Heeseung is getting. Jake really should’ve thought this through more. But, he just took the chance Heeseung laid out for him. This is his only way to get close to Heeseung after years of pining over him. 

“This must be super depressing for you, though, Jake.” 

“What? Oh! Yeah. Super depressing.” 

Jungwon squints as he assesses Jake, but he doesn’t say anything because Sunoo squeaks in alarm. “Why is Jay walking over here with Riki?!” 

Jake tenses and looks over his shoulder to find Jay and Riki approaching them. Oh no. This is it. It’s over. They found out Jake’s and Heeseung’s plan.

“Jay? As in, Jay Park?” Jungwon’s eyes were wide open. 

“What other Jay do you know, Jungwon?” 

“Hey, Jungwon.” 

Jungwon tenses up at the sound of Jay’s voice and Jake desperately looks for something to hide behind. 

“H-hey, Jay.” 

Jay holds out something. “Is this your History of Magic book?” 

Jungwon glances at the textbook then back at his food. “Yeah.” 

“You dropped it on the stairway, Riki found it and gave it to me.” 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

Jake nudges Jungwon. “Take the textbook!” 

“Oh. Right.” 

Jungwon snatches the textbook out of Jay’s hands and stuffs it into his bag. “Thanks.” 

“Am I that awful to look at?”

Jungwon finally looks at Jay with wide eyes and he furiously shakes his head. “What? No!” 

Jay grins. “I was only teasing, Jungwon.” 

Jungwon blushes. 

Jake notices Riki silently laughing behind Jay. 

Jay’s eyes slide over to Jake. “Jake, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Nice to finally meet you.” 

“I’m Sunoo!” Sunoo perks up with a wave and a bright grin. 

Jay grins at Sunoo, “hey, Sunoo.” 

“Can you believe Heeseung has a boyfriend?!” Of course, Sunoo gets straight into the gossip instead of sending Jay and Riki off with a goodbye. “I mean, I can believe it since Heeseung is the most attractive boy at this school, but still! Does anyone know who this Jaeyun is?”

Jake hopes him tensing up isn’t too obvious. 

Jay laughs and takes a seat beside Jungwon. Jungwon leans closer to Jake. 

“I didn’t believe Heeseung when I first heard him, but after seeing the letter I believe him. He’s whipped for this Jaeyun. He skipped a whole class just to write back.” 

“He skipped a class?” Jake blurts out. 

“Yeah,” Jay responds, “as I said, he’s whipped.” 

Something seems to click in Riki's mind as he looks at Jake. “ You’re the Jake Heeseung was talking about!” 

Sunoo’s and Jungwon’s heads turn to look at Jake. 

“You’re getting Transfiguration lessons from him!” 

Damn, Jake was hoping to keep that a secret too. 

“Jake?!” Sunoo’s shriek was loud in his ears. 

Jungwon snorts. “About time.” 

“When were you going to tell us?” Once again, that was Sunoo shrieking. 

“Never.” 

“Wow. And to think we were friends!” 

“Sunoo, that’s what I’ve been saying for the past couple of years -- are we even friends with Jake?” 

“I don’t think we are.” 

“I think it’s time to end this friendship.” 

“I’m sorry,” Riki blurts, his eyes wide, “I didn’t mean to --” 

“It’s fine, Riki,” Jake rests his forehead against the table beneath him. “This happens every day. Hufflepuffs aren’t as nice as you think they are.” 

“I don’t mind a mean Hufflepuff,” Jay says, his eyes sliding over to Jungwon who blushes a bright red.

Riki gags. “Flirt elsewhere, Jay.” 

“Alright. Fine. Want to come to the Astronomy Tower with me tonight, Jungwon?”

Jungwon is speechless, so Sunoo answers for him. 

“He would love to! What time?”

“Midnight. Don’t be late.” 

With that, Jay and Riki finally take their leave, leaving two Hufflepuffs and one Gryffindor in different states of shock. 

Sliding into the seat across from Heeseing Lee, it takes everything within Jake to not freak out. He’s still not over being in close proximity with the all-mighty God that is Heeseung Lee. It’s hard remaining stable and secure around someone as beautiful and breath-taking as Heeseung Lee. Jake still doesn’t know why color Heeseung’s hair is -- all he knows is that the color isn’t black. 

“Hey, Jake,” Heeseung says with a lopsided grin. 

Jake wants to kick something. Out of love and admiration for someone as pretty as Heeseung, especially when he smiles like that.

“Hey, Heeseung,” Jake is surprised he doesn’t stutter or sound choked up. 

“How was your day?” Heeseung asks, closing his potions book as quietly as he could in the library. Contrary to Jake throwing his books onto the table, and making as much noise as possible. 

“It was. . . A day,” Jake says, sitting back in his seat and flicking through his Transfiguration book. “I woke up, sent a letter to my beloved, watched him open it, went to class, sulked in Transfiguration because I couldn’t sit with Kai, then went to lunch where Jay asked out Jungwon. And now, I’m here.” 

Jake looks up at Heeseung from his book and catches a slight flush on Heeseung’s cheeks. Maybe it’s just the lighting, or maybe Heeseung is just hot -- not literally, but like, all those layers would definitely make one practically bake their insides. “Jay finally asked out Jungwon?” 

“What do you mean, finally? ”

“He’s had the biggest crush on Jungwon since the fourth year,” Heeseung grins, “after he fell into Jungwon after Charms class, on the staircase outside the Great Hall. Jungwon caught him and asked Jay if he was okay with those big sparkly eyes and Jay felt his heart drop out of his body -- Jay’s words, not mine.” 

Jake snorts loudly, “Jungwon’s crushed on Jay since his first year.” 

“They’re perfect for each other then.” 

“Yeah,” Jake trails off, “I guess they are.” 

We’re perfect for each other. Even though this is like the second time we’re talking, I just know we’re perfect for each other, don’t you agree, Heeseung? Is what Jake wanted to say. But, he thinks he’ll be coming on a bit too strong if he says that, so he sticks to five simple words, and then moves on. 

“Should we begin? I have a six hundred word essay due in a couple of days and I don’t know what to do.” 

“What’s it on?”

“Something to do with Animagus’ -- I don’t really listen in class because of, you know, Professor Song.” 

Heeseung laughs softly and Jake wants to capture this moment in a mason jar. Heeseung’s laugh is the definition of beautiful. 

Oh God, Jake’s doing it again. 

He’s Gaying Out over Heeseung Lee. 

Well, who could blame Jay for Gaying Out over Heeseung Lee? Jake’s fairly certain any other guy would if they liked boys. 

So, as Heeseung helps explain the topic to Jake, all Jake can stare at is Heeseung’s perfect cupid bow lips and wonder how nicely they would feel and fit against his own. Many have told Jake his lips were to die for -- both from girls and boys when he was experimenting with his sexuality. Jake prides himself on his lips, he makes sure to put lip balm on every night before bed and every morning after breakfast. 

“Jay told me you skipped a class to write back,” Jake blurts, his brain-to-mouth filter totally gone whenever Heeseung Lee is around. “Is that true?” 

Heeseung looks embarrassed. Slightly. “Oh, did he say that?” Heeseung’s voice was soft and he fidgets beneath Jake’s stare. Jake can’t do this any longer. He wants to squeeze Heeseung so tightly the boy shrinks down and fits into Jake’s pocket. Oh, this is so much more than just Gaying Out. 

“Yeah, he did. You must be quite dedicated to this whole skit.” 

Heeseung shrugs, “we have to make it believable of course, Jake! Also, your words fooled even me for a few seconds after I read the letter this morning.” 

Jake’s eyes blow up comically wide. “Oh, you did?” 

Heeseung nods, his cute doe eyes meeting Jake’s enlarged ones. “Did you. . . . Mean what you said?” 

Why was the air suddenly so humid?

It’s so hard to breathe. Jake pulls at his tie, loosening it slightly and shifting beneath Heeseung’s tense and heavy gaze. 

Oh no, Jake Gayed Out too much.

How was Jake going to get out of this one?

He was going to lie his way out, obviously. 

“Pft, of course not, Heeseung, I’m just. . . Good at writing love letters.” Jake clears his throat and looks back down at the book, “could you explain this part again please, I don’t think I understood it.” 

Heeseung stares at Jake for a moment. 

“Uh, Heeseung?”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Heeseung glances down at the textbook and shifts his chair closer by a few inches. 

Jake chokes on nothing. 

The sun was shining, which was a first. But, Jake loved it, so he took advantage of it. He was out by the Black Lake, his back pressed against the hard bark of an overgrown tree, and his body bathed in the shade the tree offered from the, somewhat, insanely burning sun. Beside him, Chaehyun was stretched out, her pink hair spilling across the grass, mixing green and pink together. 

Jake’s lips push into a pout as he reads his Arithmancy textbook, the words blurring, and the equations soon after. Getting studying done in this kind of heat is anything but productive. With a groan, Jake shuts his textbook and pushes it off his lap, sliding down to adjust his body so it lines up against Chaeyun’s smaller and slimmer frame. 

Their shoulders brush, and this time brown mixes with pink and green. 

“Isn’t it good to be back at Hogwarts?” Chaehyun murmurs out, inhaling the warm autumn air. “I always miss Hogwarts when I’m home and realize I don’t have the independence I take for granted at Hogwarts.” 

Jake hums, “yeah.” 

The leaves blow gently overhead and there’s a slight shine of sunlight in Jake’s eyes. It’s gone in the next second. 

“Hogwarts is home,” Jake musters up, turning his head slightly to Chaehyun who looked tranquil like this; lying on the grass, in the shade, with the sun shining overhead and eyes closed. “And I don’t think that feeling will ever change.” 

“Hogwarts is your home long before you call it one,” Chaehyun agrees. 

The breeze shifts the leave again. Chaehyun’s hair flies into Jake’s face softly and they both giggle lightly, Chaehyun apologizing and Jake shrugging off her apology with an easy-going smile. 

“I heard about Heeseung and his lover,” Chaehyun chimes after a few moments of silence. 

“You did? I mean -- of course you did. It’s all everyone ever talks about now.” 

“How do you feel, Jake?” 

“How should I feel, Chaehyun?” 

“Why should I tell you how to feel?” 

“You’re the logical one.” 

Chaehyun giggles and turns her head to look at Jake, “am not. That’s you!” 

Jake grins. “Alright, I’m the logical one. Still. I don’t know what I should feel,” Jake feels dirty, lying to someone as pure as Chaehyun Kim. 

“It’s okay to feel upset,” Chaehyun advises Jake wistfully. “It’s okay to curse at the world and wonder why it isn’t you. It’s okay, Jake.” 

Jake laughs softly, “thank you for the reminder, Chae.” 

“Don't forget it, Sim.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

“Good.” Chaehyun moves her hand into Jake’s. “You better not.” 

“Chae?”

“Yeah?”

“Hypothetically, say, someone you really liked, as in, romantically liked, asked you to pretend to. . I dunno, be in a relationship, would you do it?”

“Like, fake dating?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t know, depends.” 

“On what?” 

Chaehyun chuckles and squeezes Jake’s hand, “on a lot of things, Jakey. One; who the person is, two; who are you, three; what do you get out of it -- stuff like that.” 

“Say -- it’s Dayeon, would you do it?” 

“No,” Chaehyun doesn’t even hesitate, “never.” 

“Why?” 

Chaehyun pushes herself up, her knees curling into her chest, but she holds Jake’s hand still as if he was anchoring her. “It’d hurt too much, knowing it will never be real.” 

Jake’s heart slows. 

Chaehyun takes his silence as a means to continue, “it’d be too hard, pretending what I felt for her was fake. Was never real, was just as ephemeral as her feelings for me. Inevitably, it’ll be worse for me when it ends, knowing that my love for her will forever stay unrequited.” 

“But, wouldn’t you take the risk?” 

“What risk, Jake?”

“Saying yes and hoping her feelings for you aren’t fake, but rather, more real than, I don’t know, the trees.” 

“We take many risks in our life Jake, but I don’t think I would ever risk my love for another.” 

Jake hums and pushes himself up, knocking their shoulders together, “that’s the difference between you and me, I guess. You wouldn’t take the risk, but I would.” 

Before Chaehyun could answer, or Jake could continue on, a loud shout echoes across the grassy fields, attracting attention. Jake and Chaehyun glance over to find Beomgyu sprinting across the courtyard with Kai, Taehyun, Sunoo, and Jungwon in tow -- well more like, Kai and Sunoo happily following while Beomgyu drags Taehyun and Sunoo drags Jungwon. 

Chaehyun turns back to Jake and smiles broadly at him. “I suppose that’s our difference. You would put your heart on the line, and I would keep mine tucked away. Sometimes, it’s better to guard your heart, Jakey, because then, the pain will hurt less.” 

“Oh, hey Chaeyun!”

“Hey, Beomgyu -- oh !” 

Beomgyu collapses next to Chaehyun, his books spilling out of his holey shoulder bag. “Don’t mind me.” 

“Chaehyun!” Kai exclaims, “my sister and Hikaru are looking for you in the Great Hall.” 

Chaehyun stands up and grins, letting go of Jake’s hand. “I’ll go see them now,” she turns back to Jake, “see you later.” 

“Bye, Chae!” 

Chaehyun waves to Sunoo and Jungwon as she dashes past them. Jake turns to his friends and patiently waits for them all to catch their breath. 

“So, why did you sprint over here?”

“Jay asked Jungwon out again,” Beomgyu exclaims, stars in his eyes. “And kissed his cheek! Jungwon peed his pants.”

“No I didn’t.”

“How come there’s a stain on your pants then?”

“Because you spilled pumpkin juice all over me!” Jungwon hotly defends himself, shaking off Sunoo’s hands. “And, we ran over here because Heeseung is looking for you and wouldn’t tell us why.” 

Jake’s eyes widen and he quickly scrambles up, shoving all his things into his school bag. 

“Is there something you’re not telling us, Jake Sim?” Beomgyu demands, “because Heeseung will not tell me anything about what you two get up to during your time together. There better be no frolicking around! But, if there is, make sure to always wear protection -- isn’t that right, Taehyunnie?” 

Beomgyu nudges his boyfriend with a devilish smirk on his face. 

“Don’t drag me into your bullshit, Gyu,” Taehyun responds, rolling his eyes. “Let Jake go see his lover boy without the interrogation.”

Jake blushes at Taehyun’s words and Sunoo gasps, “Heeseung’s not using you, is he?” 

Jake gapes at Sunoo. “What -- what do you mean?!” 

“Like, you’re not tutoring him in love lessons, or something? Because that’ll just be rude! Him, toying with you like that,” Sunoo’s face tries to replicate a look of anger, but it only makes the boy look cuter and everyone fawns over him. 

“No, Sunoo, it’s nothing like that.” 

Jake, once again, feels dirty for lying to someone (Sunoo) who looks just as pure as Virgin Mary. 

Jake stood with Heeseung in an empty classroom a few days later. Jake was aggressively practicing the stupid spell they were being taught in Transfiguration this week, but nothing was going his way. 

“I heard Professor Song was pretty ruthless today,” Heeseung pipes up, frowning slightly as he watches Jake try to pull off the fairly advanced spell. 

“When is Professor Song ever not ruthless.” 

Jake flicks his wand aggressively again, and still, nothing happens. 

“Have you ever considered asking Professor Song why he hates you so much?” 

“No. Why would I talk to someone who wants me to fail school?” 

“Professor Song does not want you to fail school, Jake.” 

“Maybe I should befriend Sunghoon,” Jake mutters, ignoring Heeseung, “he’s Professor Song’s favorite. Maybe, if I get all buddy-buddy with him, Professor Song will stop being mean.” 

“You should do it, Sunghoon thinks you’re pretty cool, Jake.” 

Every organ in Jake’s body freezes. Did he hear Heeseung right?

“Sunghoon Park thinks I’m cool?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” 

“Oh God, I think I’m having a stroke.”

“What? Why?” 

“Because Sunghoon Park thinks I’m cool!”

“So do a lot of people, Jake. You’re a pretty cool person.”

“How.” 

“How what?”

“How am I cool, Heeseung. I embarrass myself daily in Transfiguration, I’m friends with Beomgyu Choi, Sunoo Kim, and Jungwon Yang. I literally have the worst choice in friends! I’m a living loser -- not trying to sound all guilty trippy or anything, but it’s merely an observation and my thoughts.” 

“Clearly, you’re blind, Jake,” Heeseung retorts. “You’re pretty well-known, you’ve got this cool aura that surrounds you wherever you go. And you’re literally the nicest person to ever exist.” 

“It doesn’t take much to be nice, Heeseung,” Jake snorts, aggressively flicking his wand again. 

“Yeah, but you make it look easy .” 

“Being nice is easy though. . .?” 

“But you’re friends with Beomgyu -- you said it yourself.” 

“Beomgyu tests my limits every day, but without him, I’d be a major loser. I owe my entire life to him all because he took pity on me in my first year.” 

“Beomgyu surprisingly has a heart of gold,” Heeseung muses, a soft grin on his face. 

“If it weren’t for Taehyun, I would’ve asked Beomgyu out.”

Jake doesn’t notice how Heeseung’s eyes widen ever-so-slightly. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, I like my men bold and courageous.” 

Once more, Jake’s spell fails. Jake groans and kicks the leg of a chair nearby. He was never going to get it this stupid damned spell right, no matter what kind of tips or tricks Heeseung gives him. These lessons were useless -- not on Heeseung’s end, but Jake’s end. No matter what Jake does, every attempt at getting better at Transfiguration is always futile. 

“You do?” Seems like Heeseung was still stuck on the men Jake likes. Jake decides to indulge in Heeseung’s curiosity if it gives him a few moments to regain control of his patience slowly wearing thin. 

“Yeah. .It’s hot when they announce their feelings for me in an open environment. Makes me feel good, knowing they’re. . . Not ashamed.” 

“Ashamed? Jake, what?” 

Jake kicks the chair again. 

“There’s a little voice inside my head that tells -- more like, lists all the bad things about me,” Jake murmurs, consciously aware of Heeseung’s deep, searing gaze. “And I can’t help but agree to most of the things said; I’m nice, to a point where I become a pushover, I let others walk all over me just so it makes them happy. I put others before myself. I’m too selfless and not selfish enough. Because of all this, someone would be ashamed of me for being so. . .” 

“So what?”

“Stupid? No, that’s not the right word. . People pleaser? For letting others use me?” 

“Jake. . That’s not a bad thing.” 

“To me it is.” 

“Well, it shouldn’t be, because you’re none of that.” Heeseung’s tone told Jake his word was final. 

Jake still presses, a burning feeling rising in his chest. He’s unable to push it back down. 

“How do you know that, Heeseung? You don’t even know me.” 

“I know you well enough, Jake, to know you’re not a pushover.”

“Yeah, but --” 

“No one could ever be ashamed of you, Jake.” 

Jake’s heart quickens. Heeseung’s words were like honey. Sweet to taste. Addictive. Jake wants to keep coming back for more. 

“Do you mean that?”

“I hate lying, Jake.” 

Jake grins at Heeseung, “that’s kind of hypocritical of you.” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes, “well, this is different.”

“Different how?”

“You agreed to it. If you had said no, I wouldn’t be lying to my friends.” 

“I was your only option?” 

Even Heeseung’s smile was like honey. “You were my only option.” 

Heeseung pushes himself away from the desk and approaches Jake. “Here, let me help.” Within seconds, Heeseung was close to Jake. Heeseung’s chest gently pushed against Jake’s back, breath ticking Jake’s neck and ear, and Heeseung’s hand creeping along Jake’s arm, skimming across his skin, flowers blooming beneath his touch, and capturing Jake’s small hand into his large one. Heeseung raises Jake’s arm and with firm words whispered against Jake’s ear, Heeseung helps Jake cast the Transfiguration spell he’s been attempting to perform for the past thirty minutes. 

(Jake wasn’t paying attention. Even as he finally succeeded, all he focused on was Heeseung).

Jake often wonders what goes through Heeseung’s mind as he reads the letters Jake sends him. Does he cuss out Jake? Does he sigh and fawn over Jake’s words? Does he scoff at them and forget about them until he has to ‘write back’ to Jake. (Sometimes, he does get the odd ‘letter’ from Heeseung, saying some thankful words to Jake for putting up with this whole situation, telling him it won’t be long until Heeseung calls it off, mentioning something about ‘Jaeyun’ and him will end up losing contact). 

Giggling, Jake sat and watches Heeseung blush as he reads Jake’s latest letter, where he compared Heeseung to a sunflower and himself to the sun, saying he would do everything to continue allowing Heeseung to grow and blossom into something bigger and larger than what he thought of himself already. Or, something like that. 

The morning passes by slowly, and suddenly Jake was faced with Transfiguration. He gulps and steps into the classroom, immediately shuddering when he sees Professor Song. He thinks about turning on his heel and sprinting the fuck out of there, maybe convincing Lily M to skip class with him. (She would do it, no questions asked. That’s how awesome she is!)

But, alas, Jake thinks about Chaehyun scolding him later. Jake shudders again. He doesn’t want that. 

Dumping himself into a seat up the front -- it doesn’t matter where Jake sits, he’ll always get called out, so he gave up trying to hide at the back of the class. Dumping all his books onto the desk and pulling out his quill, he sits quietly and patiently, waiting for class to start. 

An unfamiliar body drops into the seat beside him.

Sunghoon Park.

Jake openly gapes at him. 

He’s even prettier upfront.

Great, now Jake’s Gaying Out over Sunghoon Park. 

“I think you’re in the wrong seat,” Jake blurts out, his brain-to-mouth filter completely gone, abandoned, trashed, in a ditch decomposing. “Kai and Taehyun are back there.” He points to the row right at the back of the class where Kai chucks blueberries into Taehyun’s mouth. 

“No,” Sunghoon responds, “I’m in the right seat. Unless, you aren’t Jake Sim?”

“No -- that’s me!” 

Sunghoon grins, “perfect. I’m Sunghoon Park, but you probably already know that.”

Jake seriously begins to question Sunoo’s taste in men. First, Seokjin Kim, then Yeonjun Choi, then Riki Nishimura, and now Sunghoon Park?

Jake’s shocked expression quickly turns into a scowl. 

Sunghoon’s grin only brightens, “I hear were have the same MBTI type.”

It’s hard for Jake to hate anyone just because of one little self-compliment. So, he brightens up, “really? I share the same MBTI as you?” 

Sunghoon nods. 

“Woah, that’s so cool!” Jake gushes, imagining all the things he and Sunghoon could get up to considering they’re practically soulmates now, just because of one irrelevant similarity. 

“Not as cool as me, though.”

“Of course not. You’re the coolest. And I mean that.”

“Thanks, Jake.” 

“No problem soulmate -- oh my god did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Woah, no cursing, Professor Song might hear you and take fifty points from Gryffindor.”

Jake scowls again. “We’ve only just started talking and you’re already on your way to giving me a massive migraine.” 

“You’re cute.”

“Shut up, Sunghoon Park.” 

Sunghoon stretches his arms out in front of him. “Have Heeseung’s lessons been any good? I could always tutor you, you know, I’m way better at Transfiguration than Heeseung.” 

“Heeseung’s a good teacher.” 

“Is that all?”

“And he’s pretty.” 

“No need to point out the obvious, Jake.” 

“Heeseung’s good. For me. As in, tutoring me , not like, for me , as in, ‘he’s the one for me’ --” 

“Jake, I knew what you meant,” Sunghoon assures the panicking brown-haired Gryffindor.

“Right, okay.” 

Sunghoon sighs and his chin on his palm, looking directly at Jake. “How come we didn’t befriend each other sooner?”

“Because I was scared of you.” 

“Scared of. . Me?”

“Yes.” 

“That simultaneously boosted and hurt my ego.” 

“You’re. . Welcome?” 

“Study with me after dinner, Jake,” Sunghoon demands suddenly. 

Jake feels like he’s in a dream, so he pinches himself.

Sunghoon looks at him weirdly.

Nope, this is definitely real. 

Jake’s with Chaehyun again, but they’re in the Great Hall this time. 

“I got Dayeon’s favorite flowers today,” Chaehyun tells Jake as she pushes around the food on her plate, “Professor Chan gave them to me.”

Jake smiles, “that’s nice of him.” 

“He grows them to honor her memory. I cried a bit. I miss her so much, Jakey.” 

Jake gently nudges Chaehyun with his shoulder. It was his way of comforting her. Chaehyun moves closer, limbs pressed to limbs and pink mixing with brown. 

Then comes the chaos. 

It arrives in the form of Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki, who have been hanging out more often than usual. But that’s fine, because Jake’s usually off with Sunghoon most of these days -- when he isn’t hanging out with Heeseing, trying to figure out what he’s doing wrong with the stupid subject called Transfiguration. 

Oh, Jay’s there too. His hand tucked into Jungwon’s who is tugging him along. 

It’s only been a couple of weeks since Jay asked Jungwon to see him at the Astronomy Tower, and now you can’t see Jungwon without Jay, or vice versa. It’s giving Jake a headache. He can’t stand their cuteness. It ruins his day. 

“We have some news,” Sunoo says dramatically, grabbing Jake’s cup of pumpkin juice and downing it, much to Jake’s chagrin. 

“Well, what is it?”

“Jay and Riki have concluded that Heeseung’s admirer is from Hogwarts .” 

Jake blinks at Sunoo for longer than necessary -- then it hits him and Jake flinches back.

Oh no. 

“What? How?”

“It’s simple,” Jay responds, “the letter is always fresh looking -- I compared it to the letters I’ve gotten from my parents, and they’re always a bit worn out from the long journey from home to Hogwarts, and then Jaeyun was complaining about a Professor of his. I’m pretty sure no high school kid calls their teacher a professor, and Heeseung isn’t into guys older than him, so it makes sense. Plus, I don’t think Heeseung would have time for a muggle relationship right now either.” 

Jake doesn’t have time to respond, because Jungwon sighs, “you’re so cute, Jay.”

Jay flushes and Jake groans. “Flirt somewhere else. Not in front of the singles.” 

“Yeah,” Chaehyun echoes, “my unrequited love died before I could confess and you have the audacity to flirt in front of me?”

“Oh, shit, sorry Chae --” 

Chaehyun giggles, “it’s fine, Jay. Humor is my coping mechanism.” 

Jake holds his hand up for a high-five and Chaehyun slaps it. “Twins!” 

“Back to Jay’s theory,” Sunoo says, his eyes glinting, “I say we get to the bottom of this mystery.” 

“And how do we do that, Oh-So-Mighty-Sunoo-Kim?” Riki asks, batting his eyelashes. 

Sunoo scowls and slaps the younger boy on the shoulder. 

“Spying,” Sunoo says simply. “We follow Heeseung around.” 

“Boring,” Riki yawns. 

“You don’t have to join in.”

“I never said that,” pouts Riki.

“It was implied.” 

“Okay,” Jake says, interrupting before Sunoo and Riki’s bickering gets out of hand, “how would we follow Heeseung around? Is it in like, shifts, or something?”

Sunoo shrugs, “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Then why even bring it up, when you don’t even have a plan?” Scoffs Riki. 

“It’s a WIP, Riki, a Work-In-Progress. I was just sharing my idea with my friends hoping to receive some feedback and ideas, instead, all I’m gifted with is rude remarks.” 

“I think,” Jungwon pipes up, finally tearing his attention away from Jay, “you shouldn’t stalk Heeseung.” 

“It’s not stalking, for the last time, Jungwon!” 

“Mm. Okay.” 

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because you’re a known stalker, Sunoo.” 

“Am not!” 

“Don’t make me spill all your deep and dark secrets, Sunoo, I will do it.” 

Sunoo sighs and grabs Jake’s cup -- that he had just filled up with pumpkin juice -- and drains its entire contents. 

“Look, what other idea do we have to uncover Heeseung’s mystery boyfriend?”

“Catching them in the act,” Jay responds, “we have to catch them in the act.” 

Riki smirks, “I like the sound of that.” 

“Houston, we have a problem,” Jake greets Heeseung in the library after dinner. 

“What?”

Jake tries not to swoon at Heeseung’s Bambi eyes, but, news flash: it doesn’t work!

Jake takes a moment to recover. 

“Jay and Riki -- well, more like, Jay -- are on to us. They think your pen pal goes to Hogwarts.” 

Heeseung groans, “really? I kind of hoped they would be dumber than they usually are.” 

Jake sits in the chair beside Heeseung, who slumps over the table, his chin resting on the textbooks piled beneath him. Jake takes this chance to rub his hand up and down Heeseung’s back, doing his best to comfort the older pouting boy. 

“What do we do?” Complains Heeseung and Jake fights to hold himself back from planting a kiss on Heeseung’s pouty lips. God, they look so inviting -- seriously, Jake needs to stop Gaying Out over Heeseung. It’s getting out of hand. 

“It’s simple,” Jake feels queasy, “we end this.” 

Jake doesn’t want it to end. 

Why?

Maybe Jake likes the idea of writing Heeseung letters. Letters that detail his admiration, his infatuation, his like, for the boy. Maybe, he likes how his letters positively reinforce Heeseung in any and every way possible. 

Jake hopes Heeseung says no. 

“Why?” 

“Because. . .It’s the right thing to do?” 

“What if I. .” Heeseung cuts himself off, red blooming on his cheeks. 

“What if you what?” 

“Never mind. Jake, are you sure?” 

Heeseung’s gaze is so intense, Jake feels like he’s being lit on fire. 

Why does he have to make the decisions? Jake’s known to be very indecisive. 

He recalls Chaeyun’s words. 

“Sometimes, it’s better to guard your heart, Jakey, because then, the pain will hurt less.”

Jake gulps and nods his head. He’s only been writing these love letters to Heeseung for two weeks, but why did it feel like two years? Jake was able to (kind of) spill his guts for two weeks straight without Heeseung confronting him and asking him if his words were true. Heeseung thought they were lies. Thought they were made up. Jake’s content with Heeseung knowing that. He’s content with Heeseung thinking everything Jake writes is simply artificial. 

“Oh. . Okay. If that’s what you want.” 

“I hope we can still be friends after,” Jake says, rubbing the back of his neck. “I really want to be your friend, Heeseung.” Anything to keep me close to you. 

Heeseung’s smile is warm. “Of course, Jake, we’ll still be friends. I never want to stop being your friend.” 

Jake blushes. “Really?”

“Really.” 

Heeseung shifts closer to Jake. His head rests on Jake’s shoulder. Jake tenses -- he’s never been this close to Heeseung before. He can smell every bit of Heeseung, from his shampoo, to whatever he sprays his body with, to the type of washing machine soap used on his clothes. It’s overwhelming but in the perfect way. 

Jake gently curves his arm to slip around Heeseung’s waist. He feels warm. Jake’s never felt warmer. His head drops down onto Heeseung’s and he breathes in deep and exhales just as deeply. 

He feels so. . . Content. 

Without knowing, his arm tightens around Heeseung’s waist. 

“Jake?” 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” 

“For. .?” 

“Helping me out with this stupid situation.” 

“It isn’t stupid. Lying about having a pen-pal-for-a-boyfriend to your friends just to get them to stop teasing you isn’t stupid.” 

“I can sense your sarcasm from a mile away.” 

“Okay, so maybe it is stupid, but coming from you, Mr-Perfect-Prefect, it’s less stupid.” 

“Mr-Perfect-Prefect?”

“You’re perfect.” 

“I’m perfect?”

“Yeah, to me.” 

The silence is very loud and Jake realizes what he said. 

He glances down at Heeseung and his heart stops. 

Heeseung’s face is closer than he expected. Heeseung’s warm breath tickles Jake’s lips. When Heeseung slightly adjusts his neck, the tip of his nose grazes Jake’s. It’s too hot. Jake feels like he’s having a heart attack. He can’t take being this close to Heeseung -- it’s too much for Jake. This is the bad kind of overwhelming.

Still, Jake can’t move away. 

Heeseung Lee is intoxicating. Too intoxicating. 

“Well, well, well,” Beomgyu’s voice breaks the spell, and Jake and Heeseung leap away from each other. “What do we have here?” 

“Nothing,” Jake scowls, the flush on his face evidently saying otherwise. 

“Mind your business, Gyu,” Heeseung scoffs, turning his head back to the textbooks in front of him. 

“How could I mind my business when my two best friends were about to kiss?” 

“Beomgyu, you’re insane,” Jake says, “we weren’t going to kiss.” 

Beomgyu raises his eyebrows. “Really?” He looks over at Heeseung, “is that true?” 

Heeseung shrugs, “Jake’s right.” 

Beomgyu’s quiet for a few moments, only staring at Heeseung. They seem to silently communicate with each other through their eyes and Jake feels awkward. Like, hello?? He exists too?? He wants to join in?? 

“Well, sorry for suspecting something considering Jay told me your boyfriend attends Hogwarts.” 

Heeseung rolls his eyes, “Jay’s thinking too hard about my romantic life. He needs to focus on his own.” 

“Well, Jay has always been the smart and logical one, so I think I’ll listen to him over you, sorry, Hee.” 

“Nothing new. I just wish Jay was a bit dumber this time around.”

“So, it’s true?”

“I never said that,” Heeseung flushes and Jake’s breath catches in his throat. 

“But you kinda implied it,” Beomgyu’s grin is unnerving. There’s also a really scary twinkle in his eye and Jake grows frightened. Is he in a horror movie now? 

“Gyu, drop it.” 

“Never, Bambi.” 

Beomgyu pushes himself away from the table, “see you both tomorrow. I need to get a good sleep before I become Detective Choi again.” 

“Beomgyu --” 

“Bye!” 

Heeseung groans and slumps lower in his chair as he watches Beomgyu run away. 

“One more letter,” Jake states, “one more letter where I will write to you and break up with you.” 

Jake walks to the owlery early the next morning with his final letter written to Heeseung tightly gripped in his hands. His heart feels heavy, but Jake knows he’s doing this for the better. Although his heart hurts, it’s better to force that distance Jake and Heeseung had between each other at the beginning of the year back, rather than allow the space to continuously grow closer and allow the lines to blur between what’s real and what’s fabricated; make-believe. 

Jake is giving himself room to heal, to forget his feelings for Heeseung. It’s for the better of them both. (Or so Jake hopes). 

Sighing, Jake begins to climb the steps up to the door of the owlery. He hopes today flies by quickly. He wants to be back in his bed, curled up beneath the covers and nursing his heartbreak quietly. Jake’s shoulders slump forward as he climbs the last steps, his gaze firmly situated on his feet. 

He doesn’t notice the familiar figure standing in the owlery talking to some random owl. 

“Jake, what are you doing here?”

Jake halts in the doorway and looks up, seeing Sunoo standing in the middle of the owlery, just as confused as Jake. 

“I’m uh, sending a letter.”

“Oo! Who too?” 

“My mum.” 

“Could I read it? And maybe add a note of my own? I love your mum, she cooks the best food. Ask her to send some more food to Hogwarts!” 

“Maybe in my next letter, Sunoo.” 

Jake steps further into the owlery, aware of Sunoo’s heavy gaze watching his every move.

“Can you just write a quick p.s? And say it’s from Sunoo? I have a muggle pen if you want to use it,” Sunoo produces a muggle pen from his pocket and stretches his arm out for Jake to take it. 

“Next letter, Sunoo.” 

Sunoo pouts and steps closer to Jake who grips the letter tighter. 

“Please, Jakey? I won’t annoy you ever again.” 

“That’s a lie.” 

Sunoo rolls his eyes. “I’ll steal your letter if you don’t let me.” 

“No, you won’t.” 

“Yes, I will.” 

“Okay, so maybe you will, but if you do, just know our friendship is over.” 

“Anything to get a chance to write to your mother, Jake!” 

“Just leave me alone, Sunoo, next letter you can write to her.” 

Sunoo grabs for the letter, but Jake raises his hand above his head. It doesn’t do much, but at least he had quicker reflexes than Sunoo. 

But, Jake isn’t faster than Beomgyu. (Who appears out of nowhere). 

“Got it!” Beomgyu cheers, making Jake jump and clutch his chest. 

“You scared me Beomgyu! And hey -- give me my letter back!” 

Beomgyu pokes his tongue out. “No, just let us write a note to your mum!” 

Jake grabs for the letter, his heart racing, but Beomgyu jumps away and opens the letter. 

“No!” 

Jake lunges forward again, but he stumbles over his feet and falls to the floor, sheer terror flooding his veins. 

He just made the mess Heeseung created, messier. 

“I knew it!” Beomgyu dances giddily on the spot. “You’re dating Heeseung!” 

Behind them, Sunoo gasps and glides past Jake who remains on the ground. 

Jake wants to curl up in a ball and die. God, why did he have to Gay Out over Heeseung to the point he does the older boy’s bidding? He should’ve said no the moment Heeseung asked. Jake should listen to his head over his heart. 

Beomgyu and Sunoo both peer down at Jake who is distraught. 

“Why were you keeping it a secret, Jake?” Sunoo demands, “do you not trust us, or something?”

“No -- I -- Sunoo --”

How is Jake supposed to get out of this one? 

“Nevermind that, Sunoo,” Beomgyu exclaims, “we’re going to Heeseung. He’ll have all the answers for us.” 

No. Not Heeseung. He’ll hate me for this, for letting this situation get so out of hand. 

Jake attempts to escape, but it was pointless because there’s only one entry and exit in the owlery tower. 

It’s a slow, daunting walk to the Great Hall, and Jake filters out the conversation around him. He can’t believe this is happening to him. He can’t believe it. He tried to guard his heart, but look where it got him! He’s now Heeseung’s boyfriend. Well, fake/suspected-boyfriend. (Jake wants it to be real. He wants to be Heeseung’s real boyfriend). 

“Heeseung!” Beomgyu calls out the moment they enter the Great Hall -- thankfully the conversations don’t die down. Beomgyu doesn’t hold enough authority or power for that. 

Heeseung glances up. 

Jake’s pretty sure Heeseung’s hair is a dark blue. 

Heeseung smiles at Beomgyu, then his eyes slide over to Jake. Heeseung’s smile grows wider, but Jake only shakes his head and gestures to Beomgyu. Heeseung’s (cute) bambi eyes grow confused, but then he looks at Beomgyu, eyes trailing across his body -- and then they grow wide. 

“You’re dating Jake?!” 

Oh, so now the conversations decide to die down. 

Jake can’t stand being the center of attention, but Sunoo’s grip is tight and he can’t escape. 

“I’m -- what?!” 

“Dating Jake!” Beomgyu exclaims again, “why didn’t you tell us?” 

Heeseung looks at Jake for help, but Jake can only shrug and telepathically tell Heeseung to tell the truth. 

“I’m not dating Jake.” 

Beomgyu waves the letter in Heeseung’s face. “Then what’s this. Mr. Perfect-Pitch?” 

“It’s all false, okay? I made Jake write me letters to get Jay, Riki, and Sunghoon off my back about my love life, we’re not dating, Beomgyu, he was just writing those letters to me because I asked him too!” 

Beomgyu’s a stupid, annoying, bitch. 

“Nice try, Heeseungie, you suck at lying.” 

“I’m being serious, Beomgyu!” 

“I don’t believe you when we have the proof right here. Did you know Jake was planning to break up with you? What did you do, Heeseung?” Beomgyu turns to Jake, “did you see him pick his nose? I understand if that’s an ick of yours!” 

Jake simply stares in Beomgyu and wishes he had telekinesis or something. He wants to be able to choke Beomgyu out. Or throw him across the room numerous times. Why do wizards and witches even need a damn wand? Using magic with your own hands is cooler than using an ugly wooden stick. 

“We’re not dating, Beomgyu! You have to believe me!” 

Beomgyu looks Heeseung directly in the eye and slams down the letter. “No.”

Jay and Jungwon appear, their eyes were wide. “Jake? Heeseung? You’re dating?” 

Jake can feel his breath hitch. He can feel his brain shut down. Panic floods Jake. He hates being the center of attention. He doesn’t like being stared at; being torn apart only to be built back up again with more insecurities flooding his brain. This is all too much for Jake. He didn’t think the lie Heeseung had created would get like this -- too real . 

Real. This is so real. Watching Heeseung panic over dating Jake is too real. Is he seeing Heeseung’s true feelings? Why does it hurt? Jake can feel his heart slowly float apart as he watches Heeseung try to convince Beomgyu they’re not dating -- but isn’t that what Jake wanted in the first place? He wanted to tear apart something fake, only to put it back together, but more real this time. 

Real like his love for Heeseung. 

Love.

Is Jake in love with Heeseung? 

Jake doesn’t know what love feels like. How is he supposed to know? He’s only sixteen -- he has the future waiting for him. What if he falls in love with Heeseung, but it doesn’t last? What if what he feels for Heeseung is fleeting? Maybe Jake is thinking too hard about this. He just has a simple-minded schoolboy crush on Heeseung. That’s all. There’s nothing more to it. 

Jake finally slips his hand away from Sunoo’s grip, turns on his heel, and runs out of the Great Hall. 

He can’t do this.

He can’t listen to Heeseung deny dating him. 

He can’t let his heartbreak, even though this is exactly what Jake wants. He wants his heart to feel less burdened. Jake wants to feel less burdened, but why does it still feel burdened? More so than before? 

Jake takes it upon himself to avoid Heeseung any chance he gets. But, even as he avoids Heeseung, he can’t avoid the whispers trailing after him, and the pitiful looks he receives from his friends who he’s half-mad at. Jake’s mad at himself, and at his friends who decided to continue being nosy even after he asked them to drop the subject. 

Sunoo and Beomgyu have apologized far too often, it’s getting annoying. But Jake likes watching them squirm, so he continues to ignore their apologies. 

Jake’s decided to guard his heart. To keep his feelings hidden for Heeseung. He only allows himself to dwell on his feelings for the boy in the middle of the night. During the nighttime is when Jake allows himself to feel for the boy. It’s during the night, where Jake puts quill to parchment and writes out his true feelings. 

It’s love he feels for Heeseung, but he’s sure it’s fleeting. 

Jake’s sixteen. He can’t love someone for a lifetime. 

Although Jake’s avoiding Heeseung, he finds himself hanging out with Sunghoon more and more. Whether it’s the library, or Jake’s sneaking Sunghoon into the Gryffindor common room, or his own dorm, they’re always together. Sometimes studying, sometimes playing exploding snap, or chess -- which Jake always wins, by the way -- or sometimes just lying beside each other near the Black Lake in total silence. 

And when Jake’s not with Sunghoon, he’s trailing after Chaehyun. 

“Are you ever going to talk to Heeseung again, Jake?” Sunghoon asks one day when they’re in The Three Broomsticks during a Hogsmeade visit. Chaehyun is also with them -- it makes sense for Chaehyun and Sunghoon to know each other since they’re in the same house. 

“No.” Jake responds breezily, “I’m not going to talk to him again.” 

“Why?” 

Only Chaehyun knows why. 

Jake’s too afraid to voice it to anyone else. 

“Just. . Because.” 

“Jake --” 

“I can’t talk to Heeseung, Sunghoon, because I do, I’ll lose my filter and totally Gay Out over him.” 

“I know you’re hurting Jake, but so is Heeseung, and he deserves an explanation, even if this was all his fault.” 

“It wasn’t his fault, Sunghoon, it was mine too. I agreed to help him, I agreed to write those letters when I should’ve said no.” 

Jake’s hands tighten around his mug of Butterbeer and Chaehyun’s knee bumps Jake’s beneath the table. “I was the one who suggested ending it after Jay started suspecting it was someone at Hogwarts. I couldn’t let my friends find out it was me writing Heeseung those letters because it would become too. . Real .” 

Jake peers at Sunghoon, desperation apparent. “So, please, don’t just blame Heeseung. I also participated.” 

“Jake. .” 

“I think I love Heeseung.”

Jake's not afraid to tell Sunghoon, though, He trusts Sunghoon Park with his life.

Sunghoon’s eyes widen. 

“It’s all too soon for me. One moment, I was crushing on Heeseung, like having major Gay Outs over Heeseung, and then as I watched him deny dating me, I just. .Couldn’t watch knowing he and I would never happen -- it would never be as real as I wanted it to be.” 

Jake huffs, “hypocritical of me, huh? Saying yes to Heeseung with the intention of growing close and seducing him into dating me, but the moment I begin to feel love for Heeseung, I run away.” 

“You’re only sixteen, Jake,” Chaehyun utters softly, “it’s okay to be scared of love.” 

“I don’t want to be. If I didn’t love Heeseung, then none of this would be happening. I could be with him in Hogsmeade giggling, like a little boy with a fleeting crush on a hot guy,  as he says some stupid dad jokes while we look at sweets in Honeydukes.” 

“I think love is stupid,” Sunghoon declares, “why should be afraid of something so fickle? One moment you may think it’s love, and the next, you’re nursing heartbreak.” 

“Without love, the world can’t spin, Sunghoon,” Chaehyun says gently; as if she were wise beyond her years. 

“Love is faux and you can’t change my mind. Why give all your love to someone who is bound to break your heart?” 

“It’s about the risk,” Jake tells Sunghoon, “without taking a risk, you’ll be left with regrets.” 

“I’m anything but regretful, Jake,” Sunghoon says, thumping his chest and winking.

Once again, Jake is questioning Sunoo’s taste in men.

Sunoo is a hopeless romantic, Sunghoon is not.

Maybe Jake should alert Sunoo to this fact. 

“Back to my problem,” Jake clears his throat, “I ended it knowing I would be heartbroken, but I thought it would be easier than this.” 

“Love is not easy,” Chaehyun says again, once more looking and sounding wiser beyond her years, “but that’s what makes it all the more enticing.” 

Days pass by. Jake has to listen to Beomgyu’s and Sunoo’s apologies over and over again. He continues to lay beside Chaehyun near the Black Lake and play chess with Sunghoon in the Gryffindor Common Room. Jake continues to write his letters to Heeseung every night, and as each day passes, the letters grow longer and Jake’s heart grows fonder. 

It’s true, Jake writes one night, distance does make your heart grow fonder. Even as I tell myself we’ll never be as tangible as we are in my dreams, my heart still becomes fonder at the sight of you. 

Tell me, Heeseung, how does one fall out of love with you? 

Don’t ask me, I don’t have the answer. I’ll have an answer soon, though. All I know is that falling out of love with you takes time. Time that I can never get back. Even as I tell myself I can’t love you, I’m still desperate to continue loving you -- I’m a mess if you can’t tell. 

A mess for you. 

“God,” Jake groans, “could I get anymore cheesier?” 

Heeseung, Jake writes, a few nights later, I once told you, that if I were to truly write love letters to you, I would say that your eyes are like home. 

I was lying.

They don’t look like home, Heeseung, they are home. 

These letters are getting cheesier day by day and it’s all because of one thing; 

I think I’m falling more in love with you as each day passes. 

I can’t fall out of love with you Heeseung, Falling out of love with you would be like. . Flunking my N.E.W.T.S. Something I never want to do in a million years. Something that terrifies me so much, I can’t sleep at night. I know, I know, you might be like ‘what a stupid metaphor, Jake, comparing me to N.E.W.T.S?’ but, Heeseung, it’s true. 

I can’t fall out of love with you. Not in a million years. 

That’s why I ran out of the Great Hall, you know? Because I realized I loved you. That my Gaying Out wasn’t because of some stupid little crush -- I was Gaying Ou t because I loved you. 

Can I be honest?

I don’t know how to love. 

I mean, I love my friends, and my family, but I’ve never loved someone like how I love you, Heeseung. 

I guess that’s another reason why I’m afraid. What if my love isn’t enough? 

Jungwon snuck Jake into the Hufflepuff Common Room to celebrate Hufflepuff’s win over Slytherin. Jake’s usually not the brooding type at parties, but tonight, he was. He sat at a table pushed up against the wall right at the back of all the bodies creating some sweaty mosh pit that made Jake shiver at the mere thought of inserting himself into such a . . Germ heavy place. 

“I can’t believe Hufflepuff beat Slytherin,” Sunoo says, his eyes wide and cheeks tinged with red as he drinks the last of his Firewhiskey that Soobin had managed to sneak in. “This is the best day of my life.” Sunoo ignores Jay’s dark look and Jungwon’s exasperated look. 

Excusing himself, Sunoo leaves the table. 

“Sorry,” Jake tells Jay. “Slytherin played well.” 

Jay was having none of it. “We played like shit.” 

“I’m going to throttle Rei with my own hands,” Riki scowls, “she was too busy looking at Liz to even notice Hufflepuff’s seeker had swiped the Snitch from under her nose!” 

“Can you blame her? Liz is stunning,” Chaehyun snorts. 

“The only thing stunning about Liz will be the stunning spell from my wand.” 

Jungwon laughs and reaches out to ruffle Riki’s hair. “You’re cute.” 

Jake takes a sip of his Firewhiskey and allows his eyes to roam the crowded Hufflepuff common room. Sure enough, he catches sight of Rei dancing with Liz -- sweet, shy Liz -- in the middle of the gross mosh pit. Then, he finds Wonyoung Jang -- Jungwon’s best friend since diapers -- shoving Yujin Ahn’s face into a bowl of whipped cream. Jake can definitely see why Jungwon and Wonyoung were best friends. 

Then, he finds Heeseung Lee. 

“Heeseung’s here?” 

“Why wouldn’t he be here?” Jay remarks. 

Jake shrugs, “I don’t know. I think I should leave, though.” 

“Jake --” 

“If he confronts me, I will cry and it’s not a threat but a promise.” 

Jungwon sighs. 

Jake pushes himself away from the table and shoves his way through the gross mosh pit, finally reaching the exit and leaving the overwhelming Hufflepuff Common Room. His footsteps echo as he walks down the tall, dark, and scary Hogwarts hallways. Jake prays he doesn’t get caught by any teachers. 

Jake passes by the boy’s restroom and then doubles back. 

He takes his time in one of the stalls, but when he exits the stall, he gets the fright of his life. 

“Heeseung?!” 

“Jake.” 

“Were you -- did you just listen to me pee?” 

Heeseung flushes beneath the dimly light bathroom lights. “No.” 

“You so did. Creep.” 

“It’s your fault for taking so long.” 

“You could’ve waited outside the restroom.” 

“But what if a teacher saw me?”

“You’re a prefect, dumbass.” 

Heeseung scowls, seemingly forgetting why he was here in the first place.

Jake takes that as a sign to quickly wash and dry his hands,  but Heeseung blocks the exit. 

“Um, can you move?” 

“Tell me why you’re avoiding me first, Jake.” 

Jake’s throat closes up. 

Great, Heeseung Lee is confronting Jake in the boys restroom. Could this get any more unfortunate? 

“Because. . .Just because.” 

Heeseung scoffs. “What did I do wrong? I denied the claims, told them we weren’t dating -- isn’t that what you wanted? To end it?” 

Jake can’t look at Heeseung any longer. He feels small beneath Heeseung’s stare. 

“Is that what you wanted, Jake?” 

“Yes,” Jake says so quietly, Heeseung almost missed it. 

“Then why are you avoiding me?” 

Jake closes his eyes. He can’t do this tonight, he’s too tired. “Can we -- can we just. . Not do this tonight?” 

“No, we’re doing this tonight. It’s driving me crazy, Jake. I hate not knowing what I did wrong.” 

“You -- you did nothing wrong, Heeseung,” Jake bites out, straining his throat. He needs to breathe. He needs to speak properly. “It was all me.” 

“Are you really pulling the, ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ bullshit on me, Jake?” Heesueng’s laugh is bitter and it makes Jake’s stomach churn nervously. “Jake, open your eyes.” 

Jake does as he’s told and swallows nervously when he sees the heat in Heeseung’s eyes. This is far too real for Jake. 

“Why are you avoiding me?” 

Because I want to write you love letters for real. Emphasis on love. 

Jake steels himself and attempts to brush past Heeseung. 

It doesn’t work and Heeseung catches Jake’s arm. 

“You can’t just leave, Jake. That’s not fair.” 

“Nothing is fair, Heeseung,” Jake spits bitterly. “Me being in --” 

Jake shakes off Heeseung’s grip. But, his right hand that he had tightly fisted up, spills open and a ball of scrunched-up toilet paper falls to the ground. Heeseung reacts faster than Jake and picks up the ball. Jake desperately lunges for it, feeling deja vu. 

Heeseung is taller than Jake, therefore Jake can’t reach the hand that held the toilet paper. 

With careful hands and watchful eyes, Heeseung opens the ball and reads what Jake had written in the stall as he peed. (Jake’s not romantic as he thinks). 

The silence is too loud for Jake. 

“Jake --” Heeseung’s breath hitches.

Jake burns bright red and snatches the toilet paper back from a bewildered Heeseung. 

“That wasn’t for your eyes.” 

“You -- you love me?” 

“Think is the keyword, Lee.” 

Heeseung steps closer to Jake. “You either love me, or you don’t.” 

Jake’s eyes burn. 

He can’t do this. 

Heeseung, the words on the toilet paper said, I think I love you and it’s driving me crazy. 

Jake was supposed to flush it. He was supposed to flush his love for Heeseung down the toilet, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, because what good is it to not love someone like Heeseung? 

Jake’s not a poet. He can’t poetically describe his feelings for Heeseung. 

All Jake knows, is that it’s hard to describe what his love for Heeseung feels like. 

All Jake knows, is that his love for Heesueng doesn’t need a word to describe it. 

All Jake knows, is that he’s tearing himself apart little by little as he continues to love Heeseung a little deeper every day.

Winter break passes by in a blink of an eye, and Jake’s back at Hogwarts. He spent most of his holiday hanging out with Beomgyu since they live on the same road, and sometimes Jungwon came over to visit -- but, as Jake found out, Jungwon and Jay spent most of their time together. Jay even officially asked Jungwon to be his boyfriend as Jungwon was lifted into an ambulance because he cut himself while attempting to cook with Jay. How romantic. 

“I still love Heeseung,” Jake confesses to Chaehyun a week later. “When will I stop?” 

Chaehyun pauses threading daises (which she used magic to conjure up)  through her fading pink hair. “It’s different for everyone.” 

Jake groans and flops back into the cold, white snows that lay on the ground. “Take me now, God.” 

Chaehyun chuckles, “I think you still have a couple of things left to do before God decides to call upon you.” 

“Like what?”

“You know what, Jakey.” 

Jake ignores Chaehyun’s words. “I wrote to him over break, but I never sent any.” 

“Do you want me to send them for you? It could be like that one muggle book. The female lead is also Korean!” 

“No. Don’t send them out. I’m already embarrassed after Heeseung found out I loved him from me being all poetic and writing on fucking toilet paper.” 

“Potty mouth.” 

“I am Australian after all, Chae.” 

Chaehyun scoffs and rolls her eyes. Kai comes out to call Jake and Chaehyun in for dinner, and that’s when Jake sees Heeseung for the first time. He still feels the same reaction spur up within him; his heart races and his breath hitches. Heeseung’s never looked prettier, and for the first time, Jake is longing for Heeseung’s eyes to focus on him. Not on Sunghoon. 

It doesn’t happen. 

Heeseung doesn’t look at him. 

Sunghoon does and offers a small smile. 

Jake sits beside Beomgyu. “Hey Gyu, hey Tae.” 

“Ravenclaw versus Slytherin is this week,” Beomgyu says as a greeting, “are you going, Jake?” 

Jake shrugs and helps himself to some chicken. 

“You should come, you’ll sport the green and I’ll support the blue. Taehyun can just sit there and look pretty with both colors on.”

“What if I want to support Ravenclaw?” Jake fires.

“Would you? I mean, it makes sense, but also, I don’t know anyone in Slytherin now that Yeonjun graduated last year, so it would make sense for me to support Ravenclaw and you to support Slytherin. Unless, you want to cheer on your beloved, Heeseung Lee.” 

Jake scowls and traps Beomgyu into a headlock. 

Taehyun desperately wishes for those muggle phones. He would so love to take a photo of Beomgyu in a headlock. 

“Too soon, Gyu,” Taehyun says. 

“Heeseung knows you love him, Jakey, what’s stopping you now?”

“Rejection, dumbass.”

“Hasn’t he rejected you?”

“I ran out of the restroom before he could say anything else.” 

Beomgyu scoffs, “coward.” 

Jake whacks Beomgyu on the shoulder. “I am not a coward! I’m a Gryffindor!” 

Beomgyu smirks, “prove it.” 

If there’s one thing Jake hates it’s letting Beomgyu win. 

“Fine.” 

Ravenclaw versus Slytherin. 

Jake is supporting Slytherin, Beomgyu is supporting Ravenclaw, and Taehyun is dressed up in a Hufflepuff uniform. 

Jake is determined for today to be the day he finally talks to Heeseung about everything. Maybe Jake is getting tired of avoiding Heeseung. Avoiding someone takes a lot of work, so allow Jake this! He needs to focus on his N.E.W.T.S and not whether Heeseung is in the same room as him or not. 

“Why are you wearing a Hufflepuff uniform, Taehyun?” Jungwon asks. 

“Because I can.” 

“Okay. Who do you think will win?”

“Ravenclaw,” Beomgyu says. 

“Slytherin,” Jake says. 

“Hufflepuff,” Taehyun says. 

“Weirdos,” Jungwon huffs. 

The game begins and as much as Jake does his best to watch the Slytherin team, his gaze always lands back on Heeseung. 

How could Jake not look at Heeseung? 

Heeseung; the perfect prefect. The hot and intelligent Ravenclaw Quidditch Team Captain. The boy of Jake’s dreams. The boy Jake is in love with. God, it’s hard being Jake and crushing on the most perfect person to ever exist. It’s getting tiring and maybe proving Beomgyu wrong is the perfect source of motivation to allow Jake to confess his feelings to Heeseung. 

And then, everything happens so fast.

One moment, Jake is watching Heeseung fly through the air on his broom, and the next, Heeseung is flying in the air but he isn’t on a broom. 

Jake watches Heeseung plummet to the ground. 

All around him, people explode into gasps and loud shouts of concern. 

Jake’s pretty sure he’s paler than the ghosts roaming Hogwarts. 

Professor Kim blows his whistle and the game comes to a halt. The Ravenclaw team crowd around an unmoving Heeseung and Jake desperately leans over the barrier, trying to catch Heeseung moving in any way -- Heeseung has to be alive. He has to be . 

“Is he okay? Is he alive? Heeseung, you better stay alive!” 

“He’ll be fine, Jake,” Jungwon reassure the older boy, “nothing can kill someone as perfect as Heeseung Lee.” 

“Heeseung is made of steel bones,” Beomgyu chips in, “his mother made him drink milk every day as a child.” 

It does little to soothe Jake’s nerves, but he appreciates the effort. 

The game is called off and Jake’s a ball of nerves. 

Now, what should he do?

Heeseung’s probably knocked out, so Jake can’t really confess -- can he?

Should he go visit Heeseung in the infirmary wing?

No. He’d look too desperate. 

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe Jake wasn’t prepared to pour his heart out to Heeseung today. Maybe it’s supposed to be a different day. Jake spends ages mulling over his options, even as the day wears onto into the late evening and Heeseung’s woken up, much to Ravenclaw’s and the rest of Hogwarts’ relief. 

“Go to him, Jake,” Sunoo says, noticing how tense the boy looks. 

“But what if --” 

“ Go, Jake,” Jungwon encourages. 

“You’re not a coward, are you?” Beomgyu grins, a knowing look in his eye. 

Beomgyu’s comment has Jake leaping out of his chair. He will prove Beomgyu wrong and make the older boy eat his own words. 

Determined, Jake walks to the infirmary wing, remembering the last time he was there -- Heeseung asked him to write Jake love letters. 

Deja Vu overwhelms Jake again.

Now, he’s standing outside the infirmary and second-guessing himself. 

Maybe Jake is a coward.

What if Heeseung doesn’t love him back?

But, then Jake remembers the Transfiguration tutoring and Heeseung’s kind and true words. Everything Heeseung said to Jake, sounded like he meant it. He said everything Jake has been so desperate to hear. 

The door to the infirmary opens and out comes Sunghoon. His eyes widen at the sight of Jake. 

“Oh, Jake.” 

“Hi, Sunghoon. How’s Heeseung?” 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Sunghoon pulls Jake into the infirmary and shuts the door aggressively. 

Jake curses Sunghoon out in his head. He hates that boy more than he hates Beomgyu. 

Jake’s eyes wander over the other empty beds, noticing he’s alone with Heeseung, and then they land on Heeseung himself. He takes in Heeseung’s appearance; messy hair (that now looks green), a cut in his top lip, and a lump on the side of his forehead, but other than that, he looks fine. 

When they make eye contact, Jake’s heart freaks out. 

He seriously can’t take this. 

“Stop looking at me,” Jake groans bashfully, “it’s making me nervous.” 

“Good.”

“You don’t sound too good, Heeseung.” 

“Gee, I wonder why.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s fine, Jake. What’s up?” 

Jake approaches Heeseung. “Just wanted to see you. . and see how you’re doing.” 

“I’m doing fine. Just have to regrow some bones since falling off your broom makes you break both of your arms.” 

Jake cringes, “ouch. I’m definitely going to give J a talking too. She’s a bit too reckless for the Slytherin team, but apparently, Jay knows what he’s doing when he let J onto the team. He needs to teach her some decorum -- he can’t just let her knock the Ravenclaw captain off his broom and mess up his pretty face!” 

“You think my face is pretty?” 

“I mean. . Of course I do. How could anyone not?”

Jake swears Heeseung blushes. 

“You don’t have to scold J,” Heeseung tells Jake, “because Jay already did it. He was scolding her when I woke up. J apologized to me crying and I forgave her, of course, because it was only a mistake.” 

“A mistake ? Heeseung, she made you break both your arms!” 

“The only way we learn is through mistakes, Jaeyun.” 

“Jaeyun?”

“Oh, sorry, I meant Jake.” 

Heeseung blushes again. Jake’s certain of it this time. 

“No, it’s fine,” Jake also blushes, “I liked it.” 

“Oh.” 

The silence is awkward. 

Jake thinks he should leave now. Come back another day. Confess another day. 

“Why are you really here, Jake?” 

Oh. Jake can’t escape. 

Clearing his throat, Jake sits down on the chair beside Heeseung’s bed. “I want to talk.” 

“Alright, let’s talk.” 

“Right now?”

“...Yeah?” 

“Okay.” 

Jake falls silent. 

Heeseung waits. 

And then, Jake can’t hold it in anymore. 

“I love you Heeseung, and it’s driving me crazy because I didn’t even know I loved you until that day in the Great Hall where our friends found out about our little secret and I don’t know why, but it hurt listening to you deny Beomgyu’s accusation of us dating. And also all the attention made me anxious so I had to leave. I’m sorry for running out, but it was the only thing I could do.” 

Jake pauses for a breather. 

“I wanted to stop sending you letters because I knew that if my friends found out, they would one hundred percent believe it because I have this big, fat, gay crush on you -- I’ve liked you since I first saw you. Like, Heeseung, I swear I’m only gay for you because I’ve never even looked at any other guy. It’s always been you, Heeseung, I swear. I’m gay for you only and at first, I kind of freaked out because I’m only sixteen and why do I have to love this one dude forever, and then I realized, you’re not just a dude to me, Heeseung.” 

Jake inhales deeply. 

“You’re the one person I will love forever, that much I know. Even though I don’t know how to love people the way I love you, and even though I’m afraid I won’t love you enough, and even though I’m the biggest coward to ever exist -- ironic considering I’m in Gryffindor --, I know that my love for you is neverending and I just. . Can’t stop loving you no matter what I do. I bet if you picked your nose and then ate that booger, I would still love you. That’s how I know I’m in too deep.” 

Jake smiles and places his hand over Heeseung. 

“Going back to my friends because I kinda went off-topic -- if my friends found out, then I knew that whatever we were doing would become too real for me and the lines between fake and real would blur, so I avoided you and guarded my heart even though the pain was overwhelming. I thought it would be easier if I kept my distance, but I failed, obviously.” 

Jake pauses to drink some water out of Heeseung’s cup. 

“So, yeah, I love you, Heeseung. And if you don’t love me back, then that’s okay. I’ll just pray that when you do eventually love someone, that person will be me. I’m a very patient guy, Heeseung Lee, in case you didn’t know.” 

Heeseung smiles at Jake. It’s a weird, stupid smile, but Jake takes it as a good sign. 

“You’re so cute, Jaeyun.” 

Jake can’t breathe.

God, Heeseung sounds so hot saying ‘Jaeyun.’ 

“Thank you..?” 

“And, I’m sorry, I never considered your feelings in any of this.” 

“It’s fine, Heeseung. Truly. I would’ve said yes either way because of my silly gay crush on you.” 

Heeseung laughs. “Come closer, Jake.” 

Jake inches closer. 

“Closer than that, stupid. I want to kiss you, but you’re going to have to do all the work since I can’t move my arms.” 

“You want to what?” 

“I want to kiss you, Jake, is that okay?” 

Jake nods his head dumbly, “that’s more than okay. I’m not getting rejected, right?” 

Heeseung giggles, his whole face lighting up and Jake’s never seen a prettier sight. “I love you, Jaeyun. For a long time.” 

Jake smiles at Heeseung, all bright, bold, and so idiotically-in-love. 

He leans over and kisses Heeseung. It’s everything awkward and messy, but Jake loves it. 

He loves Heeseung Lee. And Heeseung Lee loves him, Jaeyun Sim, back. 

It was the end of the year. Gryffindor won the house cup and the party in the common room that night was insane. Jake’s never felt happier in his life. Then came the aftermath and the reality; they had to clean up the common room, and then they had to watch as the seventh years began their tearful goodbyes. 

Jake’s never seen Beomgyu cry before, but when he did, Jake felt like his heart had been stomped all over. 

It was bittersweet, winning the cup, but watching all his close friends leave. 

But, as long as Jake was able to spend the last days at Hogwarts with his boyfriend, the sweetness would overtake the bitterness. 

“I’ll miss you,” Jake mutters to Heeseung one night in the library. 

“I’ll miss you more, Jaeyun.” 

Jake never fails to blush whenever Heeseung calls him that -- which is often. 

“We’ll be able to do long-distance,” Jake reassures both himself and Heeseung. 

“I’ll wait for you.”

“Good. It’s only a year, Hee.” 

“A year without you feels like a lifetime, baby.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll send you love letters.” 

Heeseung grins, leans over, and kisses Jake for that. 

Jake loves kissing Heeseung. His cupid bow lips are just as soft as Jake imagined them to be. He’ll never stop kissing them. He hopes he gets to kiss them before he dies one day. 

On the train ride home, Jake allows himself to enjoy the cheerfulness. Beomgyu plays exploding snap with Soobin Kai, and Taehyun, loudly complaining about how everyone but him cheats in this game. Jake chuckles at Beomgyu’s antics before returning his focus back to Sunoo’s and Jungwon’s hushed conversation. 

“Jay asked me to spend some time with him at his family’s beach house this summer, should I go?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a no-brainer, Won.” 

“But --” 

“Won,” Sunoo says firmly, “go to the beach house with Jay. Go sleep in the same bed as him. Go all be sickeningly in love and domestic with him. He likes you a lot. You like him a lot, what’s stopping you?” 

Jungwon blushes, “well, we’re going to be alone. . .” 

“Okay?” 

Jake snickers. “Jungwon, he won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

Sunoo’s eyes grow round, understanding Jungwon’s words. “Ew!” 

“It’s not ew Sunoo!” 

“Never talk about your. . private matters with your friends, Won.” 

“I’ll remember this, Sunoo,” Jungwon snarls. 

The door to their compartment flies open and in steps in the prettiest boy to ever exist on Earth, Heeseung Lee. 

“Beomgyu Choi,” his voice was so attractive, Jake’s pretty sure he’s falling in love with the now red-headed boy. “I appear to owe you some money.” 

Beomgyu grins, forgoing the exploding snap game for Heeseung’s money. “Gimme, gimme.” 

Heeseung huffs and pulls out the three hundred dollars he owes Beomgyu. 

Jake grins as he watches the exchange. He laughs as Beomgyu kisses each note, and Heeseung’s face grows red like his hair. “Poor baby Heeseng,” Jake coos. 

His boyfriend turns to him and scowls. 

“Fuck you, Jaeyun.” 

“Later, after you buy all the food from the Trolley Lady.” 

Beomgyu gasps, “I forgot about that! Thanks for the reminder, Jakey.”

Heeseung scowls at Jake again. 

“Come here, you big baby. The Trolley Lady should be here soon.” 

Heeseung huffs, but willingly allows Jake to wrap his tall frame into a warm embrace the moment he sits down beside his boyfriend. Jay and Riki also file into the compartment, and Jungwon immediately melts when he sees Jay. 

Jake hopes he isn’t like that. 

But, when Heeseung kisses his temple, Jake melts and realizes he’s not much better than Jungwon. 

“I missed you, Yunnie,” Heeseung mumbles softly, his lips brushing against Jake’s neck. “I don’t know how I’m going to last a year without you.” 

“There’s always Hogsmeade visits and breaks, Hee.” 

Jake brushes his hand through Heeseung’s red hair. 

“I want to see you every day, Jake.” 

“Who knew you could be so clingy?”

“Can you blame me? I have a cute boyfriend who likes to write me love letters.” 

Jake blushes and looks down at Heeseung, internally swooning. His boyfriend is handsome, yet adorable, yet extremely hot. It’s a miracle Jake can control himself around Heeseung Lee. 

“I’m glad I have a boyfriend who butters me up with compliments.” 

“You're welcome.” 

Jake leans down to kiss Heeseung, sighing as warmth floods every part of his body. 

This is Jake’s home. With Heeseung. With his friends all sharing the same compartment. (Minus Sunoo and Sunghoon’s bickering. Jake regrets ever allowing Heeseung and his friends to sit with him during breakfast).