Work Text:
“Oh?”
“Was that a…?”
“It was like a fast gleam of something.”
“It was cool.”
“Eren, you need to sleep. You’ve cried too much; you must be tired.”
“Ugh, Mikasa! I wasn’t crying! I just- My eyes burned!”
“Yeah, sure. Let’s come in, you guys need to sleep.”
“Well, you’re right, though. We’ll be choosing our military branches tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
Eren stood up. So did Mikasa. But Armin kept looking at the sky.
“Aren’t you coming, Armin?”
“I want to see if there will be another shooting star.”
“But it’s late already.”
“I know, it’s just… I’m not sleepy. But I’ll go in a moment, I promise. Don’t worry.”
“Ok then. Don’t get too late,” said Eren.
“Ok,” he smiled innocently, but Mikasa knew too damn well what was the reason for that smile. Cheeks burning, she followed Eren back into the building, as Armin turned back to keep admiring the starry sky.
Annie walked out of the dining room. She looked at him looking at the sky, sitting alone at the stairs.
“Let’s meet when everyone’s in their barracks,” Reiner had said to her early in the morning. That's why she was outside, heading to their spot. She was about to enter the alley near the building when her eyes spotted a blonde coconut head. He kept elevating his neck, looking for something in the sky, seemingly unreachable to his eyes.
He was even standing and tiptoeing. Then, while his gaze kept moving looking at the entire picture above him, his neck kept turning until he felt her presence with his peripheral vision.
“Oh? Hey, Annie,” he smiled shyly. She must be thinking that he looked like an idiot while turning his head at every direction at the sky.
Yet she felt dumb for standing in the middle of the street and staring at him for that long.
“Hey,” she said, stepping closer to where Armin was standing. It was better to go there than giving some clue of her secret reunion with his warrior comrades. “Something interesting up there? A plane?”
“A what?” he chuckled. That kind of things only existed in books. “No, I was just… I was looking at the stars. Then some kind of flash appeared. It was really fast. I was looking if it could appear again.”
“Oh. A meteor.”
“What?”
“A star moving like a flash? A falling star. Shooting stars?”
“Oh… Is that how it’s called? Meteor?”
Shit. Was that supposed to be taught only in Marley?
“You never heard of it?”
“I didn’t know it was called a meteor. Maybe it’s a slang from your town? Or maybe I just didn’t read enough books,” he smiled again, shy, blushing for his ignorance. Science seemed to be a bit outdated in Paradis, she was supposed to know that, goddammit.
She sat on the stairs and he followed, sitting back in the spot where he had been talking with his best friends.
“Where did you see it go to?”
“Oh, over there,” he pointed out the way the shooting star had traveled, and she followed with her gaze.
Dim light gave her eyes a smooth shade of greyish blue, glistening at the reflection of the stars.
“I think that that will be the last one you’ll see for some time,” she spoke, noticing the sky too dark to see enough stars indicating a meteor shower.
“What…?”
“The shooting star.” She turned back to see him. They only appear…”
“Barely every once a year or so…,” he completed.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know you read about space and stars too.”
“Well, I just know they showed up a lot more in my town than in here.”
“Seriously? That’s awesome! I wish I had lived in the same town as you!”
No, you don’t want that, Armin, trust me.
The words got stuck in her throat.
The sky in her town had more stars but none of the were worth the effort of becoming a warrior.
Most of the times, especially when his father wasn’t around, she used to lie in the floor, defeated, tired, exhausted, hurt, tears and sweat covering her face as the sky cried stars for her. She had sometimes seen shooting stars traveling above her, towards the unknown, unreachable for her little bleeding hands.
Sometimes she wished to be one of them. Shooting stars were just rocks.
Rocks don’t feel.
Rocks don’t have to fight.
Rocks don’t get hurt.
Rocks don’t get hate.
“Really?” she made an effort for her voice and gestures to stay apathetic. “What about your childhood friends?”
“Oh. You’re right.”
His friends were probably — besides his family, the only good thing in his short life. The ones to give him some light in the darkness he had been thrown on because of his weak appearance and unconventional beliefs. Despite their physical differences, they always looked out for him, protected him and tried to make him feel good, even if he felt like a burden for them. They were the reason for which he saw his childhood moments as some beautiful remembrance. The memory of him being bullied could only be buried with the one of them three playing and having fun together.
Those were small beautiful moments that made him smile with nostalgia, even if they were only a few years far from now.
A smile Annie admired every time without noticing.
“Maybe we were meant to be in every place we were before and now.”
“Maybe.”
His eyes shined so bright in that moment, as if watching the starry sky was just that precious. She turned back to look at the deep dark blue above her. There were barely some stars. She laughed inside at the joke of Armin’s eyes shining brighter than the sky in that moment. Then she felt really dumb for thinking of him in that way.
“Are you making a wish right now?” she asked.
“Making a wish?” he gave her a confused stare. “Why would I? Why do you ask that?”
Yeah, right, she should’ve known he didn’t know that either. For a bookworm like him he lacked a lot of facts. Well, blame it to his confinement in Paradis, she guessed.
“Uh, there’s a saying I heard some time ago” from another bookworm and tale lover like Pieck, “when you see a shooting star… you have to close your eyes and make a wish. Hopefully it comes true.”
“A shooting star can make a wish come true?”
“Yeah, something like that. It’s kinda pathetic, huh? I thought you’d like to know about it, though.”
“Oh. Wow. Thanks, I guess?” he chuckled. Honestly, he didn’t know how to feel. It was a hopeful take, but she also thought it was pathetic. That was what she thought about him?
Well, at least she thought about him, right?
His smile grew a bit wider.
“Did you ever make a wish?”
“Me?” Annie stayed quiet for a moment. The pain of going back to her memories was reflected on her face, even though she was trying hard to save it for herself. Armin understood right away, his chest aching weirdly as his smile vanished.
“Yes, when I was a kid.”
Her first wish upon a shooting star was to not keep training for war.
And when he prepared to ask again, she replied in advance. “But it never came true.”
“Maybe not yet.”
“Maybe it’s just bullshit.”
“And yet you’re here with me.”
“Wha-?”
That caught her off ward. The sentence alone made her blush. She was there with him. She should be heading to her secret spot to meet Reiner and Bertholdt, but he was still there and he seemed so calm with that little dumb smile on his peaceful beautiful dumb face.
“Yes,” he said, “could it be that you’re trying to catch a shooting star so you can make another wish?”
“No, that’s not-!”
Then why? She asked herself. Why was she even talking to him? They barely talked in training, yet their conversations always went so smoothly that she barely was aware of her surroundings. It was always interesting to have a talk with him, but was that really the reason of her being next to him at that moment?
The secret spot. That was her most logical answer. She was about to be seen heading to her secret spot, so she had to make it look like she was just tired of people and went outside to take some fresh air. Right?
They were still celebrating inside the building, lights still on. Not quite too louder like before, but there were still people in there. She was supposed to leave that facility to be alone and yet she was there with another person. With Armin, of all the people. Doing something as ridiculous as waiting for another shooting star to appear, if it ever does so.
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell your secret to anyone,” he muttered. Besides, he liked her company. He had learned new slang and new folklore sayings from her town, and he was happy not to be the only one having that fascination for random data. She was interesting. Hopefully, if he returned back to the capital city, they would share more fun facts: he’d talk about the outer world and she’d talk about the luxury life at the inner wall.
If only he didn’t die first.
If only a shooting star appeared and he’d make a wish in front of it, like she told him.
When she turned back to see him, he was looking at the sky with a soft pink tint in his cheeks. Lips curved slightly upwards with a dreamy look waiting for the damn shooting star to appear.
Dreamy eyes.
“I don’t think another shooting star would appear right now, Armin.”
“Oh, come on, Annie. Have some faith.”
“I told you that saying about wishes may be bullshit.”
“What if it’s not? What if your dreams- or- wishes can actually come true?”
She looked back down. Life is full of wishes and what ifs, Armin, not of dreams came true.
But she let him dream. It was the only thing he’d have right now. The only thing that she hoped could prevail in him the next day, when his world would turn upside down once more because of her.
Suddenly she felt a grip on her wrist at the same time he gasped while looking at the sky.
“Annie! Look at it, look, look! There it is!”
“Huh?”
“Another shooting star!”
Possibilities of a shooting star appearing at that time of the year were really low, and they were even lower if there were more than one in such a short time.
“Fast, close your eyes and make a wish!”
She blinked twice before looking at the rushed rock flying over the sky, a white light tracing a beautiful curved path and disappearing with the blink of an eye. She looked at him: eyes closed, pursed lips avoiding an inevitable smile, and his grip on her wrist not wanting to let go of her.
He opened one eye to see her.
“Did you do it?”
“What?”
“The wish. Did you make a wish, Annie? The star is still there, come on. Close your eyes.”
“I…”
“Come on! What if it comes true?”
Blushing, she closed her eyes, breathing deep.
If the one she was thinking about comes true, it would be his end.
If it doesn’t, it would be hers.
She remembered all the other wishes she made over her past training years. They were not becoming true.
I wish to not keep fighting.
I wish to stop training.
I wish my dad to love me.
I wish to be a rock.
I wish to not be a warrior.
I wish to stop fighting.
I wish to come back home.
I wish to come back home.
I wish to come back home.
Then she remembered the new goal for tomorrow, and the hundred of lives that would stain her and her warrior comrades’ hands again. So she wished something else, even if it was way far from becoming true.
She opened her eyes slowly. The star had already run away from her almost impossible wish.
It was always like that. Her wishes were so selfish that the stars kept running away from her. And as always, her chest would sink at the thought of her being left alone again under the dark big sky.
“Did you finish?” she heard Armin asking. His grip was still there, and it felt warm and soft. Her chest ached again, but in a different way as usual. He saw her looking at his hand, and he felt stupid for touching her and not even noticing it. “Sorry. Did you…?”
“Yes. I finished, I mean.”
“What did you wish? I wished-”
“Don’t say it!” she blurted, suddenly covering his mouth with her hand and making him gasp in surprise and pain. Then she felt like a dumb child playing some kind of pathetic game, so she put her arms back in her knees. “It’s supposed to be a secret, or else it won’t come true,” she muttered.
“Oh, is that so?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Ok, then.”
“Ok.”
There was a brief pause. She should be heading to the secret spot already, and he should be heading to the barracks as he promised to his friends. But despite the silence between them, the moment felt just right. He had seen two shooting stars in one night! He was talking to Annie Leonhart, lone wolf Annie, and he had learned a few things he couldn’t read in the books. It was perfect. It was one of those beautiful moments he could remember with a genuine smile, as far as his wish came true. The future may be quite scary, considering he was going to enroll the Survey Corps, but he was fine with living this night like it has been going. Maybe the stars helped him to have this moment without waiting for him to make a wish. He relaxed and looked at the deep blue once again.
Annie felt at ease, unlike other times when she was accompanied. In some way, his presence made her feel something different, like comfort. Like… peace. The silence being filled barely by their short words was better than full silence, and even better than the noisy joy she was barely enduring inside the ceremony building.
The sky was clearing. Some clouds started to move, as they revealed a partially hidden full moon still not totally seen.
It was time to go to the secret spot.
Both sighed.
“The sky seems brighter now that the moon appeared.”
Stop talking, you need to go.
A part of her just wanted to hide and never go to the secret spot. Never listen, never carry the missions she was given. Another part just wanted to end it all and just come back home as soon as possible.
But then this new part of her just really wanted to stay here and enjoy the moment.
“Yeah. It’s…”
Annie turned her head to see why did Armin stop talking suddenly.
But that blonde good-looking ass was just weirdly looking at her with mesmerizing blue eyes wide open.
It was the light. The new moonlight gave her features a fresh, delicate look, and a new side of her he never saw before until that night. Greyish blue, big dreamy eyes, long eyelashes dancing around her blues, pink lips giving her face some color as her cheeks also replaced the paleness of her skin for a pinkish hue when his lips let the words out.
“Beautiful.” He blinked, and tried to look away as she made the usual movement when she seemed uncomfortable around him. She tucked a strand of golden hair behind her ear. “T-The moon, I mean.” He felt stupid as he chuckled nervously. Why did he feel like his heart was racing? “It’s a beautiful view of the moon, d-don’t you think?”
“Yes. It is.” She didn’t try to look at him either.
“Annie!” She froze at her name being shout out loud. Armin turned back unlike her, noticing Reiner and Bertholdt approaching to the stairs with them. “Oh, hey, Armin. Didn’t know you were here.”
“Oh, hey, we were just… I was just…”
“Do you want something?” The petite blonde said coldly, still without looking at the new visitors.
“Oh, no, we were just heading to the barracks. I think Mina was asking for you, since it was already late?”
Mina- my ass.
“If you see her tell her I’m coming.”
“Right away, don’t worry.”
“Don’t you come to the barracks too, Armin?” said the taller brunette.
“Y-Yeah, I just…” He looked at Annie, then at the bigger pair behind them: Reiner with a smile too wide for his facial muscles’ sake and Bertholdt stone-faced for the first time in their cadet life.
“Bro,” that laugh was getting scary. Reiner patted his best friend’s back as he stared at him. Because certainly that invitation didn’t benefit anyone. If Armin accepted, that meant he was going to follow them. And they surely weren’t going to the barracks as they had said. “They must be busy, right, guys?”
Before Armin could say anything, Annie read the situation as well, so she had to say yes to keep him away from them.
“Well then, just don’t stay up too late. Remember tomorrow we have to wake up early for the great day.”
For Armin, the great day was their recruitment to the military branches.
For the other three, the great day was the execution of their mission.
The mood was ruined once they disappeared. Once again, the thoughts of slaughtered people tomorrow invaded Annie’s head. Once again, blood on her hands. Would any of her new soldier comrades survive to this? Who would die? Would Mina die? Would Armin die? Were those eyes about to meet their dark fate and shut off their lights tomorrow?
“I think I have to get going,” she said.
“Yeah, sure. Good night, Annie.”
He was so oblivious it hurt.
“Good night, Armin.” She stood up and started walking away.
Then she stopped.
“Armin?”
“Yes?” He was already standing up too.
“How long do you think a wish will come true?”
“How long?” He blinked, then he thought for himself while making that cute nerdy thinking pose with his hand on his chin. “I don’t know. In my case, I think it will take a while for it to get accomplished. It’s not that easy, you know?”
Now she wanted to know what was what he wished.
“Do you think some of them may never come true?”
“Yes. Some wishes are just unreachable… or impossible to come true.”
“Which ones?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the ones you don’t work on?”
“So you’re trying to work to get your wish come true.”
“Yes. It’s not like the stars will make all the work for us.”
“I get it.”
“Were you working on yours too?”
“Maybe not enough.”
Now she knew for real that her wish would never come true. Now that the titans were slaughtering the soldiers when they broke the wall, now that Mina was killed, now that Armin’s friends were dead, now that they took advantage of Eren becoming a titan to silence Marco, she knew her wish was running away once again.
She kept fighting. She kept killing. She kept being a warrior and trying to accomplish her mission. The hope for those wishes to come true vanished with every action she took.
Blood staining her hands once again as she took off those soldiers’ lives at the forest, outside the walls, every life shut down for another unreachable wish.
She couldn’t go back home.
She tried to work for her latest one.
I wish to be human.
So she spared Armin’s life. She helped him in Stohess. She was a good person to him.
But he gave fight, and he turned her in.
So she kept fighting, and another wish blew away.
Another chance of going back home, wasted as Mikasa made her fall.
Every single wish out of reach.
Except one.
Rocks don’t feel. But she felt.
Rocks don’t have to fight. But she had to, at some point.
Rocks don’t get hate. But she heard.
Maybe she wasn’t a rock, but she enclosed herself in something alike.
A wish partially came true, huh.
And when she heard Armin visiting her again, she knew.
“We went to the sea yesterday,” he had said. “It was… beautiful.”
It was even the same tone she had heard when he said it for the first time.
“The moment was precious, but… I always imagined the three of us would be happy about it, and yet…”
A deep breath. Then silence. But the different kind of silence she always heard from him.
This one was more peaceful. Because she knew he was there, about to speak again. At least until he says his goodbye.
“At least… I guess wishes are not that unreachable, huh.”
Of course he had to wish to see the ocean with his friends.
“So that’s why I’m still waiting for you to wake up, Annie.”
He was not supposed to tell his wish, but he did. It didn’t matter anymore, he didn’t even know if she was listening, although he hoped so.
And when he saw a shooting star flashing in a silent night full of nightmares, he remembered her. So he closed his eyes, and remembered hers.
She had become his last wish.
And sometimes she felt unreachable.