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Once the cameras stop rolling—as per Taehyung’s requests—the atmosphere within the tent changes. A slight shift in the air but noticeable nonetheless. They had just finished talking and reminiscing about the previous years, just finished pouring their worries about the littlest and the grandest of things. Just finished being vulnerable and raw to one another after god knows how long and it felt nice and freeing.
Conversations with Jungkook always felt nice. Maybe it’s because he was one of the closest members in terms of age with him or maybe it’s because he knew the younger one would never judge him. Not in this lifetime nor the next.
Or maybe it’s because it was their relationship dynamic after all. It’s their nature. Talking to Jungkook was the closest thing to coming home and Taehyung had been feeling homesick.
Taehyung feels grateful that the younger (and Jimin) went through with his plan. Though he had always known the youngest would always go out of his way to please his hyungs, he appreciates the time and understanding the younger has to offer when it comes to them. Jungkook is selfless like that. And Taehyung takes pride in him even after they had drifted apart. He always had his eyes on Jungkook unbeknownst to the other. Just watching at a safe distance, enough to know exactly what time the younger slept last night but not enough to know what kept him up.
It was weird at first, drifting apart with his best friend. It was weird that he knows him in work, weird how they share their moments during concerts freely but once they are alone together, there is this noticeable distance between them. Like an impenetrable wall that was once nonexistent suddenly stands tall. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe it was no one’s. He knew changes were bound to happen but still, it doesn't make it less painful. Awkwardness was something out of their vocabulary after almost a decade of being attached to one another’s hips but now it is always quick to rise whenever it was just the two of them.
Had he outgrown Jungkook or was it the other way around?
Taehyung doesn’t know and he does not dare to find the answer. Instead he focuses on the cluttered plates which was the result of their shared dinner which Taehyung had prepared and planned a week before shooting.
He wanted to fix things. And fixing things does not necessarily require that he wants things to go back to how they were. Fixing things for Taehyung meant that he is open to challenge the new beginnings, make new memories, and brave his fears. He knew Jungkook’s puzzle pieces would not fit his anymore if they wanted to paint the image they did before, so he set a new image for them to complete instead.
And ofcourse, the first step would be communication. He wanted the elephant in the room out and so he invited the younger for a drink after rejecting the very same idea of drinking with the latter embarrassingly, several times. “Jungkook, I'm kind of beat right now, can we reschedule?” “Sure hyung, I’ll just invite the others. You just rest there.” He decides, this time it will be him taking the initiative.
But now that they are completely alone, without Jin and Jimin playing baseball for the sake of extra entertainment, and without the production team recording their every interaction, the nostalgia that was once in the atmosphere was quickly replaced by tension. Tension in which both men grew familiar with during the years of them being left alone within their shared apartment.
He sees the younger’s fleeting eyes fall on the flickering fairy lights he set beautifully along the tent and to the sight of the now dimming fire. Jungkook’s face reflected the warmth of the fireball and the calm of the lake a few meters from where they sat. He looked beautiful (he always does) and Taehyung could not take it any longer. His desire took over his rationality, so he breaks the silence.
“Do you think it would be corny to ask you to dance right now?” He blurted. Posture stiff and eyes set on the messy table, plate of jamon he once prepared now emptied along with the glass half-full of wine, he fiddles with the hem of his yellow sweatshirt.
After a beat of silence and hesitation (Jungkook was probably taken aback and Tae doesn't blame him for that), the younger answers. “I think you are always corny, that’s not new news hyung.” Their eyes meet and Taehyung feels the air lighten, thankful that the younger one made an effort to make it less awkward for him.
He sees a glint in the younger’s eyes as they both let out a chuckle. Was it surprise? Longing? Relief? Happiness? He doesn’t know. But what he does know is that he probably carries the same spark deep within his gut, trapped within his ribcage. All too familiar with it.
“My feelings are now hurt, thanks to you.” He manages to retort while he clutches his chest in an attempt to feign his “hurt”. Jungkook, throws his head back laughing in reply, muttering a “Shut up hyung” in between his giggles. The sight tugging at his heartstrings dangerously.
Taehyung completely misses the way the tip of the younger’s ears were colored crimson, too busy basking at the sight of laughing Jungkook.
Once their laughter dies down, the younger stands up, removing his bucket hat and approaches the older, making the latter raise his eyebrows in curiosity. Hands sprawled out in front of Taehyung’s face, he says. “I am accepting your offer to dance.” Jungkook blurts, chest puffed, looking anywhere except Taehyung. If there was anything Jungkook was bad at, it was faking his confidence and hiding his true emotions. He smiles at the sight. Fond at the younger's antics.
Not missing a beat, Taehyung stands up and whips his phone out of his shorts and goes to the music app. Totally unprepared, he scans his playlist before deciding to go with the safest choice. He's not about to slow dance with a pop song, doesn't find it fitting. Setting the device on top of the table once the faint sounds of jazz slowly reverberates through the empty field. The music was loud enough for them to hear but not loud enough so the sound of the fluttering of the lake and cicadas were still audible. Surprisingly, both go well with Annie Ross’s velvet voice.
Somewhere, someday we'll be close together, wait and see.
He reaches out his hand, presses it gently against the younger’s. Jungkook’s hand was slightly calloused, but it was warm and delicate, just like Jungkook himself. Taehyung thinks everything about Jungkook is contrasting. He is a walking oxymoron and he means it in the best way possible. He finds Jungkook the most perfect with his rough corners shown unabashedly. Aside from that, he likes how they balance each other out and supplies where the other is lacking. Just like their hands; he thinks the space between Jungkook’s tattooed fingers are a stark contrast against his cold, slender fingers but they perfectly sit snug against each other’s.
Oh by the way, this time's the dream's on me.
He steps closer, slightly towering over the younger but still meets the latter’s bambi eyes. The corner of his lips never losing the upturned smile he has on display.
They start slow, awkward steps and unsure hands not yet finding where to grip. It was stiff and funny, but it was them. They giggle and laugh to their heart’s desire. Then, the younger settles his hands around the elder’s waist while the elder finds his arms make home around the younger’s shoulders. Tension long forgotten.
Body closer than ever, they both began to find their pace. And somewhere along the song, they finally settle into a comfortable silence, letting the music speak for them. Letting all their thoughts and worries get carried away by the soft night breeze. Tonight, they focus on themselves. Tonight Jungkook is Taehyung’s Jungkook, and Taehyung is Jungkook’s Taehyung.
“You really came prepared for this one huh?” Taehyung’s cheek is pressed against Jungkook’s and he feels his chest vibrate as he speaks. The younger’s hair is soft against his skin and it smells like strawberries.
Of course, I want you to have the best.
Taehyung’s mind supplies but he thinks it might be too much for where he stands. Where do they even stand? Where does he draw the line between being a good bandmate, a good friend, or a good… something else? Where does he want to stand?
“Are you impressed?" He hears a chuckle and a hum. Their bodies move in sync, not as stiff as before.
“Slow dancing with jazz? You really are a hopeless romantic.” The younger one fills the silence.
“Says you. You literally want your first kiss to be as cliché as possible.”
“Touché.”
Both men never stop smiling in between their banter. Taehyung slides his hands down to hold Jungkook’s then steps back to raise their joined hands, ushering Jungkook to spin and the younger obliges with a giggle before mirroring the action, eliciting a hearty chuckle from him as he spins silly.
For a moment, he sees hesitation in Jungkook’s eyes but he is quickly pushed out of his train of thoughts as he feels the younger nudging him closer. “You know hyung, you liking jazz makes sense to me.” Jungkook hugs Taehyung while swaying their body to nothing. Both not noticing how the music stopped not too long ago, too engrossed in the moment. Too engrossed in each other’s presence.
“Elaborate. I swear if you say it’s because I’m old and boring I will push you to the lake over there without hesitation.” Jungkook throws his head back laughing and he feels his whole body vibrate against his. Taehyung feels content.
Soon the laughter quiets and they dance along the trees to the sound of nature and their beating hearts. “You just do." Taehyung hums against the crook of Jungkook’s neck in response, letting his feet move with his body to pick up the pace of the dance and leading the younger.
“I think jazz is complicated? But it’s such a delight to hear. For some reason it feels like a mystery even though it is pretty straightforward, and so are you. It feels like home, a cozy blanket, a warm hug. It feels like the soil but it also feels like the clouds. It feels so dreamy but at the same time it is grounding. It feels like all the seasons mixed together, warm, and beautiful in its own ways. I think.. I think it would feel like falling in love for the first time, not that I have experienced it already, totally not haha, but just–.” A sigh.
“It feels like love… Jazz feels like–” A beat. Jungkook hesitates. Wondering if he has pushed too hard or if he had pulled too much but in the end he gives and takes the risk. Faces the bullet dead on.
“You.” Taehyung's heart flutters at the younger's ramble and he wonders if Jungkook’s does too. He wants to see his face, wants to pull away to study the younger's face while he says those words, but then it would mean that he'd have to show his face too and Taehyung would die if that happens. So he thinks of a rational and nonchalant response because quite frankly, he thinks he won’t be able to form a coherent sentence so he comes up with a “See, you are the hopeless romantic one.” And hopes and prays he wouldn't sound so ridiculous with his voice breaking slightly in nervousness. After receiving a short chuckle he reassures himself that it wasn’t obvious that his heart just did a flip and it wasn't obvious that his mind was blaring alarms, screaming at him, telling him that this was uncharted territory and could be dangerous if they continue to paddle within murky waters.
Silence, once again, settles between them and the slight rustle of the grass as they dance is now becoming more audible as he becomes more hyper aware of the warmth pressed against him.
“Thank you, hyung. For reaching out to me.”
“Of course. I’m not letting you get away from me, I'm not losing my partner in crime.”
Jungkook thinks the sky looks beautiful tonight so he smiles at the stars littering the empty space, glad that they were the one witnessing this moment.
Taehyung thinks the lines are once again, blurry. Unsure of which buttons to press and which lines are ok to cross. He asks the stars for a sign.
Even though he can’t see, Taehyung knows that the other one is smiling so he pays his thought no heed not wanting to ruin their moment. After a while, he hears Jungkook point out the loss of music before stepping back. Creating a slight distance between them, but not pulling away. Both savoring the moment. Savoring the proximity.
“We’re terrible at this.” The younger one searches for Taehyung’s eyes, both displaying a smile on their faces but Jungkook thinks Taehyung is still a mystery. The sway of their bodies slowly turning into a halt but neither let go of each other’s hands.
“You’re right, I think we should just settle with dancing hip hop.” A laugh. They had stopped dancing but their hearts were still moving along a rhythm both had set on their own. Thrumming against their stomachs. He thinks that there is something laced underneath Jungkook’s words but he doesn’t push. Not tonight. Someday, maybe.
He feels a tug on his hand. Jungkook pulls him as he goes near the lake not far from the tent. The younger leads so Taehyung follows. They settle on the railings while they watch the water calmly flow, the image of the night sky mirrored in the water. They share a fleeting look before shyly looking away, focusing on the sight in front of them.
Despite the uncertainty, Taehyung wishes he can engrave this memory into his heart.
“Will you write a jazz song, hyung?” He feels a squeeze on his hands and looks down to where their hands are joined before looking up at the sky mirroring the younger while he thinks of an answer.
“Maybe. I hope I can pull it off but I will try once I get inspiration.” He squeezes back before looking down, coming in contact with the sight of round, doe, eyes zeroed on his own.
"I know you can. I just told you, you are /jazz/." His heart soars at the words said with such sincerity, but he doesn't falter. Does not want to falter. Too tired of his own cowardice getting the best of him, so he stares back with the same intensity.
Their eyes never leave each other, and right then Taehyung swears he sees something, even without searching for it. This time he knows what it is. Can now name the glint within their eyes and he thinks this time he might be right. He wishes on the stars. Let me be right.
He looked at Jungkook’s eyes and saw clarity. A new beginning. Like the sky clearing after a rainy day. He sees a new image in the puzzle and he knows he won't be completing it alone.
At that moment, Taehyung thinks– No. Taehyung is sure. Line clearer than ever, that Jungkook too, is his jazz.