Work Text:
Kapag ba nagtapos ang isang kabanata ng buhay mo, ‘yon na yon?
Hindi.
Patuloy ang buhay.
Kung akala ni Junmyeon noon ay mas magiging madali ang buhay pagkapasok niya sa corporate world pwes ngayon sigurado na siyang nagkamali siya. Ilang taon na rin siyang empleyado sa kompanyang pinapasukan niya, kasama pa rin niya ang kaibigan na si Jongin na mukhang wala talagang balak humiwalay ng landas sa kanya. Ilang taon na nang bumukod sa mga magulang niya at naging opisyal na strong independent person na taga bayad pa rin ng tubig at groceries ng mga magulang niya habang ang kuya niya naman ang umako sa kuryente at wifi dahil doon pa rin ito nakatira. Ilang taon na siyang alipin ng tambak na paperworks at overtime.
Parang college lang pero imbis na grades ang nakataya, ang nakataya ngayon ay ang susunod na pang hulog niya sa apartment na inuupahan niya ngayon. Bawal sumuko. Dati kapag sumuko siya magkaka tres siya, ngayon kapag sumuko siya mae-evict siya. Kaya heto siya ngayon, kulang sa tulog, nagmumura ang eyebags, namumula ang mata at nagpapanic dahil sumobra ang ‘idlip’ niya at ngayon ay malapit na siyang ma-late.
’Tis the season na sobrang busy ng lahat ng emplayado. Ewan niya kung bakit pero pag dating talaga ng ber months ay tila ba mas nanghaharabas ang mga boss nila. Extra work dito, extra work doon, walang pahinga buong mag hapon. Buti nalang ay may health insurance siya (na sana hindi minamarcos). Pagkagising niya ay nagulat siya sa dami ng calls at texts na nakita niya sa notifications niya.
23 missed calls from Love
10 missed calls from Nini
11 messages from Love
19 messages from Nini
4 messages from Soo
1 message from Beth (Accounting)
Narinig niya pang nag ring ang phone niya pero dahil nagmamadali siya ay hindi niya na nasagot. Shit, shit, shit may meeting kami ng 10 am! Tinignan niya ang oras at nakitang 9:25 na, hindi niya na nalagyan ng concealer ang eyebags niya dahil either haharap siyang medyo panget ngayon or hindi siya makakaharap at all dahil sa hindi masolusyunang traffic sa Pilipinas. Mabuti nalang talaga ay may Grab siyang nakuha agad, salamat sa Grab.
“Jun! Kanina pa kita tinatawagan!” bungad sa kanya ni Jongin na sinalubong siya sa lobby, magkaiba sila ng department pero kasama niya ito sa meeting ngayon. They both worked their way in the corporate ladder these past few years kaya, “Muntik na nga kitang ipasundo kay Soo kasi day off niya”
“Sorry napahaba tulog ko, nandoon na ba lahat?”
“Hindi pa naman kumpleto kaya pasalamat ka” sagot ni Jongin, nasa loob na sila ng elevator “Oo nga pala, kanina pa rin ako tinatawagan ng love mo para gisingin ka”
Shit oo nga pala, hindi niya pa narereplyan ang mga text nito. Anong oras na ba sa London ngayon? 2 am na ata ng madaling araw doon, iniisip niya kung gising pa ang boyfriend niya pero malamang based sa pagiging workaholic nito malamang ay nakatuktok pa rin ‘yon sa laptop niya.
Love it’s almost 8, gising ka na ba?
May meeting kayo today, right?
Hey
It’s 8:03 na po.
Love, wake up!
It’s 8:28 na, kanina pa ko tumatawag.
Still asleep? *crying emoji*
It’s 8:37
Para akong human clock, HAHA.
I feel so bad for laughing *skull emoji*
Love gumising ka na please, male-late ka na. *three crying emojis*
Bakit mo ko tinatawanan? *crying emoji*
Thank you for TRYING to wake me up.
Kasama ko na si Nini.
Not late btw!!!! *pink heart emoji*
After a few seconds ay nag reply na ito agad, see? workaholic.
Yay!!! *party popper emoji* *smiling cat emoji*
Good morning, matutulog na ako bago mo ko pagalitan.
I’ll call later!
I love you *heart emoji*
Good night, I love you too!
Nakangiting ibinalik ni Junmyeon sa bulsa ang cellphone at tsaka lang napansin ang chismosong Jongin na nakikibasa pala ng convo ng may convo.
“Sweet yarn?” panggagaya nito sa lagi niyang sinasabi dati tuwing makikita niyang naglalandian ang dalawa, natawa naman si Junmyeon bago literal na inelbow ang chismoso at medyo desisyonavility niyang kaibigan.
“Sana awayin ka ni Kyungsoo mamaya”
Natapos ang meeting nila Junmyeon without any problem, it went on smoothly. Ngayon ay bumalik na si Junmyeon sa office cubicle niya samantalang bumalik na si Jongin sa department niya. Pagkabalik niya ay ika nga ay ‘we will not stop, we will not surrender’ mode siya dahil agad siyang nilapitan ni Beth mula sa accounting department at may pinakonsulta sa kanya. Ano namang kinalaman ko sa accounting?! on the inside habang Sorry hindi kita nareplyan kanina, ano nga pala kailangan mo? on the outside.
Nang magkaroon ng moment of peace si Junmyeon ay balak niya na sanang kainin ang binigay ni Jongin na lunch made by Kyungsoo pero siyempre hindi doon natatapos ang daily dilemma niya sa buhay. He received a text from none other than Seulgi Oh. Muntik niya nang malaglag ang scrambled egg na ililipat niya sana sa takip ng tupperware.
Hi Jun! Long time no talk, miss ka na namin.
You’re invited sa renewal of vows nila Mom and Dad, they really want you there.
Let’s catch up, okay?
I hope I’ll see you there!
Long time no talk…
Gaano katagal na nga ba nang huli niyang makausap ang mga ito? Almost 4 years na rin pala. He stayed out of their radar for years para sa peace of mind niya na rin. Hindi naman sa nagdadala sila ng kaguluhan sa buhay niya ha, hindi ‘yon ang ibig niyang sabihin, he just doesn’t want to relapse habang nasa process niya ng pagm-move on and somehow nakalimutan niya nang kamustahin ang mga ito along the way. Pero he still treasure the Oh family, after all pangalawang pamilya niya na ang mga ito all throughout college.
Miss ko rin kayo ate!
I’ll be there.
See you!
Seeing them again would be nice.
“Sehun, hindi ka ba talaga pupwede sa Saturday? We need you there sa site” tanong ni Yixing pagkapasok sa opisina niya.
“I have somewhere important to be that day, nandiyan naman sila Minseok they can handle it” sagot niya rito.
May inaasikaso kasi silang importanteng project which they consider as a BIG project because of the amount at stake. Napatunayan niya na ang sarili sa loob ng halos apat na taon niya sa field na to kaya naman kinuha siya bilang isa sa mga architect para sa project na ‘to. Hindi lang naman siya ang nag-iisang architect kaya he thinks it’s alright to skip one day para sa renewal of vows ng parents niya.
It’s a no brainer naman dahil dalawa lang ang choices niya, mag file ng leave that day or madisown ng magulang niya. Mas madali ang former kaysa sa latter choice.
Nang makaalis si Yixing sa office niya pagkatapos ng ilan pang pagrereklamo ay tinignan ni Sehun ang cellphone niya para i-check kung may important calls or texts ba siyang na-miss. Kakatapos lang din kasi niyang makipag meeting and he turns his phone on airplane mode tuwing nasa meeting. Bumungad naman ang text ng ate Seulgi niya which is sent exactly 23 minutes ago.
Pupunta si Junmyeon sa Saturday!
*insert screenshot*
Natigilan siya at binasa ulit ang message ng ate niya. Seryoso ba ‘to? Is this a prank? Paano naman siya nacontact ng ate niya? Don’t tell me he didn’t change his number after all these years? Pero hindi ‘yon ang importante, ang importante pupunta si Junmyeon.
It’s been years nang huli niya ‘tong makita. Their last conversation was at the cafe at wala nang sumunod dahil hindi naman talaga doon ang office ni Sehun. Idagdag pa na he went to work sa Hong Kong for a year so no chance of seeing each other talaga. Hindi niya na rin mahanap ito sa social media, nakablock pa rin ata siya.
He was disappointed from their last talk dahil hindi niya manlang ito nakausap ng matagal, he couldn’t even tell him how he really feels. Pero dahil patuloy ang buhay, he too, moved on with his life dahil sigurado siyang that’s what Junmyeon would’ve adviced him to do too. Doon pa rin tumutuloy si Sehun sa luma niyang condo na pinupuntahan ni Junmyeon dati, thankfully it’s also near to his work.
U serious?
Oo nga!
Ayan na nga resibo oh!
Sehun can’t help but smile.
Great.
Sehun was looking around the venue, kanina pa natapos ang renewal of vows ng magulang niya and they went straight to the reception. Nakita niya na kanina si Junmyeon, the other was wearing a normal black suit and to be honest, Junmyeon is still as good looking as ever. Lalapitan niya na sana ito kanina nang bigla siyang tawagin ng tita niya from his mother’s side at nang tignan ulit ang binata ay wala na ito sa puwesto niya. Baka nag cr lang. And he guess he’s right dahil nakita niya nang bumalik ito sa table.
Junmyeon looked so out of place sa table na pinwestuhan niya, sabi naman ng ate Seulgi niya ay inaya niya ito sa table nila pero tumanggi ito and she said she doesn’t want to push her luck. It’s a miracle na nga na pumunta ang isa dahil wala naman nang naging communication ang pamilya nila rito for years.
After the guests finished eating, siyempre being the oldies that they are ay ginawa nilang prom ang okasyon at nagsimulang mag sumayaw sa gitna. Buti nalang ay malaki ang venue na pinili ng parents niya kaya maraming space.
“Lapitan mo na” Seulgi urged him, dalawa nalang sila na nasa table ngayon dahil miski ang parents nila ay sumasayaw.
“What should I say?” tanong niya rito,
“What should you say?” natatawang pag-uulit ng ate niya sa sinabi niya, “Sehun that’s Junmyeon! You have so many things to talk about! Go to him and start there,” mahinang tinulak din siya nito para tumayo.
I guess there’s no harm in trying.
Naglakad siya papalapit rito, wala na itong kasama sa table siguro ay dahil nagsasayaw na din ang mga ito. The beat of an old disco song which made him laugh kanina nang marinig niya ito at makitang kuminang ang mata ng mom niya.
Hindi pa rin napapansin ni Junmyeon ang presence niya dahil busy ito sa paggamit ng cellphone. He doesn’t know kung may kausap ba ito or if he’s just scrolling through social media na hindi niya alam dahil blocked pa rin siya. Nang tuluyang makalapit ay pekeng umubo si Sehun.
Gulat na napalingon si Junmyeon sa gilid niya at mukhang mas nagulat ito nang makita si Sehun, “Uy hi” tipid na bati nito at nginitian siya, “Upo ka” tinuro nito ang upuan sa tabi niya kaya umupo si Sehun.
“Nandito ka pala” kunwari’y hindi niya alam na pupunta ito at mas kunwari’y hindi niya ito tinitignan kanina pa.
“Uhh oo, ininvite ako ni ate Seulgi, hindi niya ba nasabi sa’yo?”
“No, not really” iling niya rito, “By the way, nakausap mo na ba sila Mom?”
“Yup, nakausap ko sila kanina pero saglit lang kasi may tumawag sa kanila” casual na sabi nito, para bang hindi sila matagal na nagkausap at para bang walang nangyari.
Like their talk at the cafe didn’t happen years ago.
“Buti naman, they really missed you” nakangiti niyang sabi rito na ikinatawa ng isa,
“Sabi nga ni tita, I feel bad tuloy for not contacting them”
“Hmm…” tumatangong sabi ni Sehun, he was tapping his fingers sa table kasabay ng tune ng kanta. Napatingin naman siya sa pwesto ng ate niya na pinapanood pala silang dalawa. Sumenyas pa ito ng ‘go!’ nang makitang hindi na siya nag salita, “So… kamusta ka?” tanong niya kay Junmyeon.
“Me? Okay lang. Officially a corporate slave for almost 3 years” natatawang sabi nito, “Ikaw?”
“Same. Kamusta sila tita?”
“Ok lang din. Nag retire na rin silang dalawa officially, may savings na daw kasi sila tsaka kami na rin naman ni kuya nagbabayad sa utilities at grocery sa bahay”
“You both still live with them?”
“Ako hindi na, lumipat na ko sa apartment na mas malapit sa work pero si kuya doon pa rin, ikaw?”
“Uhm, doon na ko nakatira sa… dating condo ko” Sehun hesitated dahil alam niyang they had so many memories there at hindi niya alam how Junmyeon would react kung babanggitin niya ulit ang lugar na ‘yon.
Pero mukhang wala na ‘yon kay Junmyeon dahil ngumiti lang ito at sinabing, “Really? That’s nice”
“Sila Jongin kamusta?”
“Ayon very Jongin pa rin, iisa lang kami ng company na pinapasukan. Si Kyungsoo naman, you know Kyungsoo di’ba? They’re still together, waiting nalang ako na ikasal na sila” Sehun can see how Junmyeon’s eyes lit up with the mention of his friends, I guess that’s one more thing that didn’t change about him.
Ramdam naman ni Sehun kung paanong there’s something different with Junmyeon’s aura. It’s more mature but also more… refreshing. Dati kasi ay sobra ang pressure nito sa sarili, like the man won’t even take a rest until sigurado siyang everything is perfect. Sehun thinks the perfectionist is still the same kung pagbabasehan lang rin ang perfectly plantsado nitong suit. Pero ngayon ay mukhang marunong na rin itong mag ‘let go’ he just can’t pinpoint it but he knows.
Pakiramdam niya ay mas nag lighten ang aura nito. Sehun doesn’t know kung ano ang reason kung bakit nag bago ito. Is it simply just because of time? of experience? or is it because of someone else?
“Wow, they should get married” komento ni Sehun na ikinatango ni Junmyeon,
“Di’ba? Ikaw? Married? Engaged?” tanong nito, Sehun stared for a few seconds just looking for something.
Tinitignan niya lang mabuti kung itinanong ito ni Junmyeon nang bukal sa puso. With no bitterness or anything negative. Back then he wasn’t able to sense the pain that Junmyeon was feeling tuwing may itatanong ito tungkol sa kanya. Back then he thought it was odd but he didn’t really do anything dahil akala niya’y stressed lang ang isa o baka pagod lang ito. But that wasn’t the case pala.
“Ako? I’m single” he said nonchalantly, nakita niya namang nagulat ito sa sinabi niya.
I guess he thinks I’m still with Baekhyun.
Matagal na silang hiwalay ni Baekhyun. It was around two years ago when they broke up, noong una ay akala nila pareho lang silang nag-aadjust from students to employees. Hindi naman madali mag adjust pero nang lumipas ang isang taon and they felt that they were just not putting the same effort as before ay ayun, their relationship slowly fell apart. They decided to end it before things go south kaya walang hard feelings sa pagitan nila. Last thing he heard about Baekhyun was a few months ago at may bago na itong boyfriend, nalaman niya lang ‘yon through Instagram.
“Baekhyun and I broke up two years ago” dagdag niya just to confirm,
“Ah… sorry” nahihiyang sabi nito, tumugtog naman ang pamilyar na kanta kay Sehun. The timing.
Was there a lifetime waiting for us,
In a world where I was yours?
Natawa siya sa sinabi nito, “Why are you sorry? Okay lang kami, no bad blood”
Paper planes and porcelain
Smell of rain through the window pane
And the sight of you
Oh, you were a good dream
“That’s…nice. Akala ko kayo na ang susunod sa yapak nila tita, you looked very happy with him” sabi nito habang nakatingin sa kanya, Sehun let out a little chuckle.
You wouldn’t say that if you saw us on our lowest.
Dahil bukod sa kawalan ng time at effort, one of the reasons kung bakit hindi sila nag work ay dahil hinahanap-hanap ni Sehun ang presence ni Junmyeon. Baekhyun thought that it was just the lack of time and effort pero alam ni Sehun ang totoo, he was looking for Junmyeon at ayaw niyang sabihin ‘yon kay Baekhyun. As much as he wants to be honest, he doesn’t want Baekhyun to feel like shit. Ika nga ni Taylor Swift sa kantang ‘All Too Well’ na laging pinapatugtog ng ate niya, he doesn’t want to be ‘cruel for the sake of being honest’.
So he left it at that, just the lack of time and effort.
“I was happy”
“Then it’s sad na hindi nag work out for the both of you” Junmyeon said, tinignan siya nito like he pitied him.
Sehun laughed before he turned to the other man, and with a small smile he asked, “Eh tayo? Do you think we would’ve worked out?”
Napatingin sa kanya si Junmyeon, “Anong ibig mong sabihin?”
“Nothing…just what ifs”
There was a moment of silence between them.
It’s true, isa ‘yon sa mga what ifs ni Sehun. Don’t get him wrong, Baekhyun was a great guy. Hindi naman siya susubok muli sa isang tao if he doesn’t think that he’s a great person. So yeah, Baekhyun was a great guy… but he was not the guy that Sehun thinks about before falling asleep. Just not the guy that’s already embedded in his heart. Baekhyun was just not Junmyeon.
I was scared to lose you then
But secrets turn into regrets
Buried feelings grow
Oh, you were a good dream
“I think we would’ve fought to make it work, I mean at least I would” nakangiting sabi nito,
“Yeah… I would’ve fought too” sagot niya na ikinagulat nito,
“Anong ibig mong sabihin?”
“I meant exactly what I’ve said, I would’ve fought too” Sehun sighed, “If I wasn’t such a coward…”
“Pero Sehun—“
“Did you honestly think I didn’t love you?” seryosong tanong niya rito,
“Well… ano pa bang iisipin ko? You chose Baekhyun”
“That was because I was stupid, not because I didn’t love you” pag lilinaw niya before taking a sip of the wine na hawak hawak niya kanina pa.
Was there a lifetime waiting for us
In a world where I was yours?
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried
Giving in a little more?
To the warmth we had before
“Sehun don’t you think masyado nang matagal ang lumipas para pag-usapan ‘to?”
“Naka move on ka na ba?” Sehun asked,
It didn’t even take Junmyeon long before he answered, “Yes”
Sehun smiled, hiding the pain he felt with Junmyeon’s answer, “Then it’s the perfect time to talk about it, hindi ka na masasaktan”
“Hmmm…” pag-iisip ni Junmyeon, “Then did you love me the same way I loved you”
“The same way you loved me? Hmmm…” pag-iisip ni Sehun, “As corny as it will sound pero I loved you like the rain. At first it was just small pitter patters” he looked at Junmyeon and smiled, “And then it poured all at once” Just when you were gone.
Junmyeon looked speechless.
“Wow ang tanga mo Sehun” was the only thing Junmyeon said after a while, “You could’ve saved us both from the heartache!”
Sehun agreed.
“Alam ko, but like what you’ve said. I was stupid, tanga eh”
“Well, it’s fine” Junmyeon said, “After all, naka move on naman na tayo”
“Right” Wrong…
“Do you think we could tr—“ y again?, He was about to ask nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone nito. Hindi nakita ni Sehun kung sino ang tumawag but based on how fast Junmyeon answered the call as soon as he saw the caller id, it must be someone important.
“Hello?…What?…You’re here?!…Bakit hindi mo sinabi?…Outside?!…Okay, okay wait” sunod-sunod na sabi nito, Sehun was just sitting there and watching the other.
Ibinaba nito ang call at agad na humarap sa kanya.
“I’m so sorry, Sehun. Kailangan ko na umalis,” tumingin ito sa harap kung nasaan ang parents ni Sehun bago tumingin ulit sa kanya, “Magpapaalam sana ako sa kanila tita pero mukhang busy sila” pag hingi nito ng paumanhin.
“No, it’s okay sasabihin ko nalang sa kanila” tipid ang ngiti niyang sabi rito,
“Talaga? Thank you, sorry ulit” sabi nito at tumayo,
“Hatid na kita sa labas” pag-aalok niya rito,
“Ay ‘wag na”
“No it’s okay, I should do that you’re our guest”
Junmyeon finally agreed, “Okay”
Pagkarating nila sa labas ay nakita ni Sehun ang isang Mercedes-Benz na nakaparada sa harap. He wasn’t familiar with the car kaya sigurado siyang hindi ito pag mamay-ari ng isa sa mga bisita nila. Nakabukas rin ang makina nito so someone must be inside. He was busy staring nang makita niyang nagmamadaling lumapit si Junmyeon sa sasakyan.
Bumaba rito ang isang lalaki. Mas matangkad ito sa kanya and the guy was wearing a suit minus the coat.
Tangled with another's eyes
Never mind, you were never mine
Glimpse of me and you
Oh, you were a good dream
“Bakit hindi mo sinabi na ngayon uwi mo?” rinig niyang tanong ni Junmyeon,
“I’m sorry, love. Surprise?” nakangiting sabi ng matangkad na lalaki bago yakapin si Junmyeon na sinuklian din ng isa.
Oh…
Ganito siguro ang naramdaman ni Junmyeon noon.
Sehun would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. Of course it fucking hurts, he was just about to ask kanina if they can try again and here he is right now watching Junmyeon hug another man.
Pero kasalanan niya naman, so he has no choice but to suck it up and step forward.
“Ay ano ba yan, oo nga pala Love, this is Sehun” pagpapakilala sa kanya ni Junmyeon nang humiwalay ito ng yakap sa lalaki, “Sehun this is Chanyeol, boyfriend ko” malapad ang ngiti nito pag katapos ipakilala ang isa.
Junmyeon loves the guy, he can see it from his eyes.
I'd spend a lifetime waiting in vain
Just to go back to the way we were before
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried
Giving in a little more?
To the warmth we had before
And Sehun can do nothing but accept his defeat, inilahad niya ang kamay “Nice to meet you, I’m Sehun”
Tinanggap ito ng isa, “Chanyeol”
Now it’s his turn to move on.
“So that was Sehun?” tanong ni Chsanyeol nang makaalis sila,
“Yup” sagot niya rito, “Nice di’ba?”
Chanyeol nodded, “Hmmm…”
Tinanggal nito ang isang kamay mula sa manibela at pinagsalikop ang kamay nilang dalawa bago ito ipinatong sa hita niya.
Tumingin ito sa kanya bago ngumiti,
“Drive thru?”
“Oh my god, yes please!”
Is there a lifetime waiting for us?
All this time, I have been yours