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"Oh, Tunia," Giggles says, reaching out beside her and slapping Petunia's arm playfully because of her suggestions, keeping her eyes on the road as she grips the steering wheel hard. "You and your ideas! Don't be silly. I'm not going to want to marry the guy after tonight. It's just one date."
Petunia rolls her eyes and kicks her feet up as Giggles switches shift. It would be one date, and then another, and then she would get attached, and then she would come to her house crying and ransacking her fridge for ice cream, and then Petunia would have to comfort her even though she hadn't exactly invited her in because she's been her best friend for the longest time and because she loves her like a sister no matter how hopeless her taste can be in the boys she dates through the years. She knows just how much of a hopeless romantic the other girl can be, but she doesn't say another word about Splendid being her exact type as she had described on the checklist of traits her ideal boyfriend would have, word for word, feature for feature. She doesn't point any of this out, because she's the best friend ever and she has enough tact not to point out Giggles' calamitous dating history and many, many sticky romances.
Still, Giggles seems to be catching on, because she's already flushed, flustered already, pink in the face with effort from driving even though she had just stepped on the pedal. "I'm just going to check the place out, see how it goes with Splendid," she attempts to argue, "maybe watch a movie with him. It's just a trial date, but I'm sure he'll be really sweet."
"Whatever you say," Petunia says, putting on Giggles' square-framed sunglasses to shield her eyes from the sun, and so she wouldn't have to see Giggles getting so giddy at scoring a date with the superhero. "just don't get your heart broken again, or I really am going to kick you out." Giggles gasps, scandalized, but Petunia just brushes it off. She has to keep her calm. She can't let Giggles know. She can't let her know that the only reason she would consider kicking her out of her house when she crawls in, weak and sobbing, is because of the feelings she has for her. "I can't keep cleaning up after you every time you decide to come over."
Giggles turns to face Petunia and shows her that she isn't going to hold a grudge over her constantly gibing at her dating history. "Well, what do you think?" She smoothens the pleats of her skirt and fiddles with her fingers. "Do you think my dress is good enough? Do you think he'll like it?" She pouts when Petunia doesn't answer immediately because she's too busy staring at how long Giggles' legs look in her heels even though she normally only comes up to her shoulders. "Hello? Earth to Tunia?"
Petunia snaps out of her trance. She would have more time to think about how nice Giggles looks in her dress when she watches her walk away and into the bistro Splendid had asked Giggles out to and Giggles had only invited Petunia to for moral support. For now, she has to be her friend.
"I said," Giggles says slowly, "do you think Splendid would like it?"
"It's okay," Petunia concedes, because Giggles does look great in her dress. She would love to say more about it, but saying anything else would be an admission, a confession she really isn't ready for just yet, so she doesn't say another word until she sees Giggles looking up at her.
“You look…" Petunia hesitates. Giggles' ears perk up to listen, and her big blue eyes are wide and searching, as though she expects Petunia to spill her guts out in front of her. "You look very nice. I love... the dress."
Giggles smiles, but she's still looking at Petunia expectantly as Petunia struggles to recollect herself, find her words, find her footing. "It's really nice," she says, and then cringes. "You look very nice. Beautiful, I mean."
"Thank you," Giggles says, backing into the parking lot. Her GPA makes a loud beeping sound to signal their arrival. "Well, it looks like this is the right place," she says, looking apologetic as she opens the door to get out. The skirt of her dress fans out around her ankles as she studies the look of the place. "I'm going to have to go." She turns and smiles at her best friend. "You can do anything you want as long as we can meet up again somewhere downtown. You don't have to wait up for me." She lifts her hand and waggles her fingers at Petunia in a shy wave before patting her pocket to signal for Petunia to call or text her when anything goes wrong. "Call me!" Petunia would, maybe, if she knew she would answer.
Petunia waves back at Giggles, but when Giggles finally turns around and steps inside of the restaurant to confirm the table Splendid had gotten reserved for the two of them, she switches to the driver's seat and holds her face in her hands. "Gods damn it," she says to herself, cursing every god present up there even though she knows she really only has herself to blame for her own shortcomings, "why can’t I speak? Why can't I just talk to Giggles? Why can't I just speak to Giggles like a normal person?"
Because you aren't one, Petunia's brain completes for her. Because you aren't a normal person, it says in an attempt to convince her that all her neuroses make her less human, somehow. She waves it away because it hurts less than simply being unlucky enough to pine for the same best friend she has had since childhood and not even being lucky enough to know that that is what is going on. She waves it away because she knows it had to be something else entirely. It must be something else entirely, she tries to convince herself, because she knows for sure it isn't love.
"Why can't I just tell her?” Petunia says out loud then, sighing, and then she covers her mouth because she can't believe what she had said. She can't believe what she had almost admitted to herself. It is love. It is.
And, oh, Petunia should know the answer to this question, because she is Giggles' best friend, and nothing more. She should know the answer to this question, because she has spent the last ten years wondering what it's like to be close to her, and now that she had finally gotten the chance to be near her, she let it slip through her hands, between her fingers, like a precious, delicate thing, like a promise left unfulfilled, a secret unkept.