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“This is actually the last day I intended to spend here, in the Dark Cacao Kingdom… I forgot entirely.”
Pure Vanilla spoke up out of nowhere as he walked beside Dark Cacao through the castle halls. His fingers twiddled on the orchid staff. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be on my way again… Oh, how the time flies.”
Cacao glimpsed down at the other, gentle in his expression. “How it flies indeed…”
Slowly, the two men were approaching Dark Cacao’s chambers up above in the highest towers. Through stairs and corridors they mostly remained silent. Only making occasional pauses, when Cacao got winded. “But we won’t be apart for long, will we?” Cacao then asked, “In less than a month, the new heir will be born. I’d hope that I’ll see you soon thereafter.”
“You’re right… In that case, we surely will see each other in just a few days or weeks from now on.”
“Unless something goes astray…”
“Shush.”
A guard stood posted by the king’s bedroom. He shot up alert when two figures came closer to the door, but then eased again when he realized who they were. Not saying a word, he made way for the king.
But instead of leaving Vanilla and entering the bedroom, Cacao stood thoughtfully in front of the door. Silence from all three of the Cookies in the hall.
Cacao slowly turned to look Vanilla in the face, a hopeful look in his eyes; “Pure Vanilla, would you like to stay in the room with m-”
“Yes!” The blond interrupted, in an instant grabbing Cacao’s hand and dashing past him through the door. Only a split second allowed Cacao to make eye contact with his guard, before getting pulled into the abyss, and the door slid shut behind them. It took the baffled guard but a moment to realize that he should probably, maybe… plug his ears a bit.
Dark Cacao Cookie’s bedroom looked like the bedroom of a king who really only values it for what it is. A place for resting. The bed was over there—on a pedestal similar to his throne’s—designed to be huge and comfortable. Typical Cacaonian patterns graced the walls. And even though Cacao already had one separate study room, and another one for studies with company, there was yet another desk equipped with ink and documents in this room. Everything was black, white, and purplish shades of grey. An extinguished incense rested by the window.
Striding onwards, Pure Vanilla edged his feet upon cushions on the floor.
“Careful, my tea set.” Cacao pointed out anxiously.
“Apologies! Ah, it is quite dim here. I know every inch of this room, and I remembered the floor pillows being elsewhere.”
“I move things around sometimes.”
Vanilla went up the two low sets of stairs to approach Cacao’s bed. The platform was also surrounded by an ankle-high wall. A paper screen was spread out on the wall behind it. It was a simplistic pattern painting, though, if you tried to analyze it really hard, you might recognize the shapes of five mountains and a sun within it.
“You’ll lie on your bed, and I’ll prepare us a drink, right?”
“Aah, that does sound like a fine idea, although…” Cacao crossed his arms, “Drinking tea on a bed instead of the floor, especially with a guest in the room, is completely uncouth. It goes against our tea etiquette, friend.”
“Hmm? It’s something I’d do with any of the girls without a problem.”
“Are we drinking tea, or laying in bed? It can only be one. Choose wisely. One hint though; my back and legs hurt horrendously.”
“Ahh… Yes… In that case…” Vanilla leaned down and gave the sheet atop the mattress a little pat, “Lie down, my king.”
“Thank you.”
Two more steps, only two more steps… Cacao really had enough walking for today. Going from the palace entrance to his bedroom was the second workout of the day.
With heaviness and exhaustion, the king removed the crown from his weary head—pulling out some unfortunately intertwined hair along with it—and placed it beside the bed. He removed his gloves and put them next to the crown. He sat down on the bedside and took the domestic shoes off his feet, at this point looking a bit impatient to just lie down already. With heaviness and exhaustion, the king laid down flat on the bed and sighed. The back of his hand dabbing his forehead dramatically.
“Oh, What’s this new thing?” Vanilla pointed out a large, wedge-shaped pillow atop the bed. Cacao promptly took it and slid it under his side. “A pregnancy pillow.” he explained, “It received a blessing from a trusted shaman… Supposedly to allow the baby to have a peaceful sleep, alongside my peaceful sleep. I say ‘supposedly’ not because I doubt shamanism, but because I can’t ask the baby if it sleeps better with the pillow or feels no change. Either way, it is a bit too small for me.” Cacao was trying to figure out the most comfortable position to lay in, “I usually… end up finding the pillow on the floor in the morning. I kick it away in my sleep.”
“Ooh, are you a restless sleeper?”
“Apparently. I believe I sleep worse unless I have something heavy crushing me. Unfortunately, my heaviest blankets were deemed dirty by a maid, and so I’ve been sleeping with only lightweight sheets since the last few days… I have to obtain a new blanket, certainly… Maybe bear skin? How exciting.” Cacao said that with complete monotone. Totally fatigued young dad.
“Ahh. Right. That’s why whenever we would go on group missions and sleep in the wilderness, you’d put everyone’s luggage atop yourself.” Vanilla sat on the bed, reminiscing energetically, “When you did that for the first time, we wondered if it’s because you get cold easily, or if it’s some kind of… northern ritual~!”
“Is that so. Why did you just not ask me?”
“Well… At this point thousands of years have passed… And we were all barely acquainted when we grouped up to defeat the Cake Cerberus.” That was the first time the five have combined their powers to defeat a monster, “Back then, you were possibly the most enigmatic out of the group. You seemed only interested in finishing the mission, didn’t join our conversations much, so we were all a bit… intimidated!”
“Ah…”
“And along the way, years passed, we went on hundreds of missions, and I suppose we all stopped wondering and hypothesizing about it. We just accepted that Dark Cacao has his silent quirks, as we all do.”
Cacao’s hand slid off his forehead, his relaxed gaze turned to the ceiling above.
“It’s really cute, actually. The way you sleep.”
Surprised, he glanced at Vanilla—“Hm?”
“Nothing, nothing~”
Minutes passed as the two engrossed themselves in banter. They both had rather calm and peaceful lives, yet could manage to fall into endless dialogues for hundreds of pages, and lose sight of their surroundings. Vanilla strolled back and forth throughout the room. His curiosity undying, he picked up and picked out objects in Cacao’s chambers and asked questions about them… Time so idle yet so enjoyable, that they didn’t even notice when almost two hours passed. Throughout that time, Cacao had to get up and leave several times to go to the bathroom, which he himself pointed out and apologized for profusely.
“This bookshelf certainly had an influx of books since the last time I was here!” Vanilla was tracing the cover of a new book with his finger, searching for potential writing in Braille.
After not hearing a response for a number of seconds, he glanced back to see if Cacao was doing something. And indeed he was; pulling off an upper layer of his multi-layered robes. “Yes, a lot about… fatherhood and motherhood, I’m sure you’ve noticed—” he exhaled, folding the fabric into a square, then placing it elegantly on a corner of his bed. “I’m more comfortable now. What were you saying?”
“Ahh, would you like to sleep? That’s fine, I’ll leave.” Vanilla put the book back on the shelf.
“It’s not necessary for you to leave.
I would… be happy if you remained.”
When Vanilla returned his eyes to his friend, and the orchid sharpened his vision, he was met with the image of Dark Cacao… sitting on his bed, barely keeping himself awake, with a faintly hopeful look in his magenta eyes. He was not desperate or assertive in asking Vanilla to stay, and it wouldn’t be right to say that it sounded like a plea either… Though when surrounded by everything, he looked like he very much wished for company. Cacao beckoned the other man to join him on the bed. He rested his other hand on the round form of his belly.
Oh, to see Cacao invite somebody into an embrace was a one of a kind sighting. There was no way he’d refuse.
Quickly, Vanilla got up the steps to approach Cacao’s bed.
The Cacaonian made more room for him by inching to the side. As soon as the orchid staff left his grasp, Vanilla was blind as a mole, and knowing that, Cacao’s arm casually went around his back, guiding Vanilla’s movement to where to sit beside him.
Pure Vanilla and Dark Cacao resided in this comfortable position in their relationship where they were close enough to cuddle in bed, and if you asked either of them what they thought about the other, they wouldn’t have a problem with using the word ‘love’, yet… They both seemed equally uninterested in confirming whether they qualify as ‘lovers’.
Vanilla rested his head in the crook of Cacao’s neck, and he leaned back against him.
The smaller mumbled softly, “I’ve actually wanted to do this since the first day I came here, but it has been… so awkward, hasn’t it?”
Cacao responded with a hearty chuckle. It surprised Vanilla that that kind of comment is what earned ‘something more than a scoff’ out of his humorless friend. “To be fair, if you asked me for this on the first day, I would have been too nervous to allow you even near my body. Irrational anxiety, and so on, and so forth.”
“You were so strung up, I feel like if I would’ve tried to hug you, you’d suddenly pull a sword out of your hair and pinned me to a wall with it.”
“How would I store a sword in my hair…” Cacao questioned seriously.
“I was joking, my friend. It was a hyperbolic exaggeration.”
“Aah, a joke…” His low voice rumbled, barely opening his mouth to speak, “I never understand that, that… when people have a normal conversation and then say something nonsensical as a joke…”
“I know, I know.” Vanilla’s fingers crawled up to comb the back of Cacao’s head. “I believe you’re half asleep, my friend. That’s making you even more foggy right now.”
“Mmmmh. If we fall asleep now, you won’t be well rested before your journey home…”
“I’ll conjure something up…”
“You’re sounding sleepy too, you…”
Vanilla curled up onto his side, snuggling onto Cacao’s arm.
“Wait, now, how about this…” Cacao slithered out of Vanilla’s grasp, slid lower down the bed to lie on his side. “This is more comfortable.”
But now his back was turned to Vanilla. “Hm, should I spoon you?” looking at Cacao’s shoulders, he blinked, “Oh, I should spoon you…”
“If it weren’t for the bump, I would prefer to be the big spoon instead.” he heard Cacao’s slightly distant voice as he positioned himself lower down the bed as well.
“It’s no problem, no problem at all~” Vanilla slicked his arm in the space between Cacao’s elbow and waist, “Hopefully you won’t kick me off the bed like that pillow.”
With his temples pressed to the other’s back, and that long dark hair out of the way, Pure Vanilla could honestly say that he felt safe and secure. The hardened warrior he was cuddling onto had softened down, his presence was soothing… Is this how people feel in Vanilla’s presence too?
He felt the folds of the Cacaonian king’s robes under his fingers. He held the eight month bump, too. It was firm to the touch, even under the warm clothes, but Cacao himself was pillowy. Actually, more pillowy than when they last hugged like this.
They dozed off within one minute.
———
After no more than one and a half hours, three knocks on the door prompted Pure Vanilla to flinch out of sleep. Cacao woke up with an annoyed groan—they were both sluggish and unhappy to have been forced out of their pleasant nap. Becoming aware that the room was shrouded in dimness, they figured that it had gotten late enough for the sun to vanish behind grey clouds.
“Hmmrgh…”
“What time is it…” Vanilla’s limbs felt freezing cold, he removed his hands from Cacao to hug himself for warmth.
“Must be five in the evening… That is the time for dinner and the evening study…” The king explained his daily routine, rubbing his face to wake up faster.
“Studies? You haven’t done that yesterday or the day before.”
“Well then, it’s about time I returned to it, then, right? Agh, and for all hours where I didn’t have a retainer following me, I’ll have to meet them now and explain everything I’ve done today, allowing them to note down my every movement. I’ll work for three to four hours now.”
“S-Seriously? Is it that strict around here?”
“No rest for the king of the Dark Cacao Kingdom.”
Cacao slurred. He struggled to get up from the bed… pinned by the pregnancy… and Vanilla heard him grunt with his three failed attempts to push himself up. Finally he succeeded, half-rolling off in the process. Careful to not slip off the stairs, Vanilla then heard how Cacao sped up to reach, and drag open the door.
“Give me five minutes.”
And shut the door again.
…Vanilla giggled on the other end of the room. Cacao didn’t know what he did that was deemed so funny, but he paid it no mind. “I have to put that thing on again…” he walked all the way back to the bed to retrieve the top part of his robes which he had removed before.
Vanilla sat up on his side of the bed, and took the orchid staff into his hand, adjusting to newfound vision. He hoped to set down some of his static-messed up hair by flattening them with his hand. “Ah, all and all, that nap was quite refreshing.” he commented, “Also, I’d like to accompany you for dinner if you’ll allow me. Maybe I can start packing my small amount of baggage again and… hm?” His gaze turned to Cacao, who seemed to be doing… something.
Namely, cupping one of his own breasts, and staring very intensely at it.
“…What are you doing, Cacao.”
“I, um… I think that… I have to take off my clothes. Something’s off.”
Cacao placed the fabric back down and began to undo the ribbon above his waist, which tied his hanbok. Vanilla opened his eyes. He watched, growing concerned.
“What is it? Are you in pain?”
But Cacao didn’t answer.
Bare dark skin was revealed before Vanilla. The king in all his glory—battle scars all over; some took on a slightly stretched out form atop his stomach, and oh my goodness his breasts are leaking. It was invisible on his clothes because of the thick fabric, but the skin itself had a wet sheen.
“Not this again.” an irritated head shake from Cacao, “Now I have to change my clothes, even though it’s close to evening anyway. Such a waste.”
“From a bit of colostrum? That’s excessive.” Vanilla stood up and made his way to the wardrobe in the room, “A bit of cleaning with a hot wet towel should be enough.”
“Is it not a bacterial matter?”
“It’s not like pus from an infected wound, if that’s what you assumed it to be.”
“Right, you are right… Foolish of me. This is truly one of my least favorite things about pregnancy.” Cacao followed Vanilla around, as the other picked out a fresh white towel from the king’s garderobe. “I can stand all the pains, and random swellings here and there, but leaking from parts of my body is just revolting.” He complained while waddling after Vanilla as they went over to the king’s private bathroom. Vanilla screwed the tap until it ran warm water.
“Milk is milk! I’m surprised at your aversion towards it, when the Milk Tribe is just a distance away.” Vanilla teased half seriously.
“It’s a different kind of milk, is it not. The milk that we Cacaonians use and drink, is from a sacred well that retrieves it from deep underground. Pools of magic-imbued milk lie deep in the caves beneath the Dark Cacao Kingdom.” Cacao fondly explained the geography of his own homeland. “Cookie milk is a different thing. I am not easily squeamish, not at all, I would say, but something about the mammalian nature of our species has always been strange and revolting for me…”
While washing the towel, Vanilla shot a discreet glance at Cacao behind him, in the reflection of a mirror right above the sink.
He loved that grump, but man, if his ability to complain and speak critically of most things wasn’t a bit of a bother sometimes. His stone cold warrior of a friend has turned into a bit of a naggy auntie.
“White leakage from my nipples is simply not very appetizing. Ah, I have occasionally worn a cotton brassiere now and then, as I had known that it would come to leakage, but guess what… Any time I don’t wear it, I leak, and when I do wear it, I don’t leak. And I do not like wearing brassieres in general, but especially not when my chest is two cups bigger than usual, and constantly sore.”
“I see, that’s understandable. Let me dry you off now.”
“Hm? Alright.”
Vanilla turned on his heel and pressed the towel to Cacao’s boob, tenderly wiping it.
And it apparently was not tender enough, because the moment he pressed into his friend’s chest, one more droplet discharged from the nipple.
It felt like a cold stream ran down Vanilla’s back.
“Careful, Vanilla,” Cacao’s eye twitched, “I read that stimulating the nipple can induce labor.”
“Oh crumbs, that was sloppy of me.”
With more care and gentleness than before, Vanilla cleaned it again. Cacao stood firmly and didn’t react to it. He had no reason to worry, his dear friend was a medical professional.
Vanilla scrubbed the leakage off Cacao’s robes as well, leaving the other to just stand there awkwardly and wait until they’re done.
Vanilla shot small glances towards Cacao every now and then, peering from underneath his pale eyelashes, as if that man would not notice it. How does Vanilla keep falling for this over and over again?
“I can see you stalking me again.”
“Kya!”
“If you have something to say, then do it upfront.”
“No no, it’s nothing. I swear~!”
“That is clearly not true.”
“It’s nothing, ahahaha…” he got a little pink in the cheeks.
“Speak, Pure Vanilla.”
“Your boobs are so gigantic, that I confused them with mountains.”
“Nevermind, I wish I didn’t ask.”
“See, I told you it’s no good!!!
But above all, I think this is the first time I’ve seen your stomach all bare.”
Hearing that prompted Cacao to hold it up in his hands, “Mhm. What, are you surprised by something?”
“I think I underestimated how big you are…”
“I know, right? I wonder if I had something to do with it.” massaging it firmly with his palms, “But it should be noted that a small portion of it is my own weight gain. Little rascal turned me into a couch potato…”
It seemed like Cacao stopped talking to Vanilla, at one point, as his eyes were directed to the baby bump instead. “I can’t even put on socks anymore without help. I learned how to put boots on and off with just my legs, but—That’s how huge you are, your highness…”
Vanilla picked up something unusual from Cacao. He could swear that it’s almost as if the man is… in a good mood? What was that, another joke? Did he just partake in sarcastic humor?!
Cacao does have a tendency to be flippant like that. Sorrowful in one second, then relaxed and playful in the next. Alienating the baby baking in his bump one second, then hugging himself the next, seemingly happy about pregnancy. Then wallowing in depression again—Vanilla pondered that this isn’t even an effect of the other’s rampant hormones, because this kind of borderline personality is something that Cacao has had for as long as they’ve known him.
Actually, now that he thought about it… A hint of worry began to fester in Pure Vanilla’s head.
“…But alas, I do not want to sound like a broken record.” Cacao’s voice reached him, “Yes, I’m massive, this has been established. May I have my clothes back, please?”
“Oh, oh yes.” Vanilla felt like a third wheel out of nowhere, but returned the cleaned robe to its owner. Cacao proceeded to put it on, and was about to leave the bathroom, before Vanilla interrupted him, soft concern in his tone;
“Cacao, how are you feeling?”
A little question that caught the man off-guard, he paused in his walk, and slowly turned his eye to Vanilla.
“…In what sense?”
“Physically, and emotionally…”
“…Which answer do you want to hear, I wonder.”
“In the last few days…” Vanilla began to elaborate, heterochromatic eyes opening slightly to peer into Cacao’s, “…I got the impression that you’re in a pretty bad state. You struggle to walk, and often are in pain. You might feel really awful after sitting in a meeting for three or four hours without pause. At least a bit of accommodation at work would be beneficial to you…”
What a bewildering thing to say. Cacao furrowed his brows, glancing towards the furniture, before turning away and walking off.
“Let’s not waste time. I’m already late for the meeting.”
Vanilla frowned, afraid that his advice just triggered Cacao’s good mood to plummet into the opposite.
Cacao was sitting on his bed while placing the heavy steel crown back onto his head. No mirror was necessary for him to tell if it’s seated symmetrically or not, but he did take a second to brush stray hairs out of his face, and tighten the ponytail on the back of his head.
Then he stood up, and looked as if he hit his head on an invisible ceiling right above him.
He let out a sharp pained noise, landing right back down where he was sitting.
“Ca-Cacao!” Vanilla sprinted closer—
“Nothing, it’s just… Ugh, contractions.” the man growled, massaging his thigh up and down, “I-It felt like lightning just shot through my leg when I stood up…”
“Oh dear—”
Four rhythmic knocks on the door interrupted him.
Cacao hissed through gritted teeth, “C-Can you please go and tell them to give me a few more moments? Tell them I’m sorry and that I haven’t forgotten about anything…”
Vanilla approached the door, and swiftly dragged it open.
On the other side was a shaman. Their eyes were covered by a black bind, but still they were clearly irritated by the wait. There was another Cookie behind them as well.
“The king is taking his sweet time over there, isn’t he?! I thought this was a proper kingdom! He should’ve been downstairs twenty minutes ago already!”
Pure Vanilla’s fingers dug into the wood of the door. A rare moment of assertion in his tone as he said, “You ought to have some consideration. The king is in a very unique condition. You should recognize by now that he’s greatly slowed down by his-”
“He has merely three scheduled study meetings per week! Three!! Dark Cacao, of all Cookies, should know to prioritize professionalism and the fate of his kingdom over his own problems!”
“Honor above everything. At the very least, he could call meetings off if he’s too unwell to show up for legal obligation.” The historian Cookie added behind them.
Vanilla felt his face get redder, “How can you be so inconsiderate?!”
As an Ancient—though the shortest one out of them—he towered above almost all Cookies. Pure Vanilla stomped his staff against the floor in frustration, “Shouldn’t the health of the king matter above all else in your kingdom? Especially at a time like this! Do you know how complicated and unpredictable a pregnancy can be, especially for someone burdened with as much responsibility as Dark Cacao?!”
The shaman gulped nervously as Vanilla scolded down their forehead, “Cacao would never disregard his duties and make excuses. He’d drag himself over to the throne even if both of his legs were missing! How dishonorable it is of you to doubt him! If the meeting is so crucial that it can’t happen without his involvement, then have the courtesy to wait a few more minutes, or postpone it!”
The historian and the shaman hugged each other in fear.
“So now, stop wasting even more of this supposed precious time, and allow me to heal him in peace!”
With a hand on his hip, Vanilla shut the door once more.
The historian and the shaman were baked solid.
Five seconds in silence passed. As his face cooled down, so did his anger, and Vanilla finally dabbed his fingers over his lips. “Ah… I think I went a tad too overboard…”
“Yes, you did.”
He flipped around to see Cacao towering right behind him, sharp and angry in his glare.
“I was about to intervene. You spoke on my behalf.”
“Aah…”
Even someone as devoted and trusting of his friends as Vanilla was suddenly poked by the needle of fear. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you’d disagree with me…”
“You didn’t think I’d disagree with you scolding my followers? Whose kingdom are you in, Pure Vanilla?”
Cacao’s words cut like a knife. He had every right to be angry, and Vanilla wished he could take back the last two minutes.
“I, I understand. I got rash and bold. But please understand that I did it out of concern for your health and safety. They disrespected you… Wouldn’t you be offended if they spoke like that to your face?”
“I would.” Cacao squinted, “But I would say it as their king, and not as a guest in the palace.”
Vanilla’s tongue felt dry, before suddenly, he snapped back “—And how many times have you started scolding my followers in my kingdom under the presumption that they mistreated me? I thought this is something you like and appreciate!” he stood on the tips of his toes to make himself taller, “Remember when some Cookie shoved me off my throne, and sat down in it? You were ready to kill them right away, when all that was needed was a bit of firm words and conversation!”
Cacao blinked the counter-argument away, barking; “You don’t need to jump in ahead of me to defend my honor. Stop trying to be a savior for once, Vanilla, please. I can defend myself.”
“See it from my perspective! You are a historically stubborn man who neglects himself, and sacrifices his body for work and duty. I am just trying to help you, help you see when you should sit down and not force yourself to work overtime…!”
Cacao bit his lip to prevent an emotion from spreading across his face. “Do you think I’m weak? Do you look down on me? Gh… That’s right. I should’ve noticed it sooner.” His fists hardened until his fingernails dug into the skin, “I got put into this uneasy medical situation, so you want to pity me, and make everyone else pity me… Just like how you do with White Lily.”
“What?!” Vanilla pleaded, “Cacao, no, that’s not what I meant, let me…!”
“Stop wasting my time.”
He blurted out as he circled around Vanilla to leave through the door.
“I’m sorry…!”
The door shut, and the healer along with his apology was left in the dim bedroom. Alone with his thoughts, he dragged himself over to the bedside and sat down on it. He would have several hours to think about what to say when Cacao returns from work…
It was not often that Pure Vanilla was put in the situation where he had to make up for his mistakes, and earn another’s forgiveness. But… He would do his best. This should be his specialty, after all…
Solving conflict through conversation…
And what was that thing that Dark Cacao said…
The sky had turned but completely black by the time Dark Cacao could set his pen down and bid farewell to the members of the parliament. His lateness earned an unpleasant energy in the room for a while, but it dispersed when everyone got down to the point.
He could not have afforded to miss or postpone this meeting, because it revolves around the most pressing of issues; the future heir, and which actions are to be taken directly after their arrival.
The king became so focused on the plans and decisions that he swiftly forgot who was waiting for him upstairs. But the realization came back to him with just as much swiftness, as soon as the meeting ended.
“My king, do you need assistance?”
the Chancellor of Medicine offered her hand to him, seeing as he was still seated on the floor, when everyone else had already left. He looked at the hand and then turned away, “No, not necessary. I can do fine by myself, and I intended to work for a while longer. Thank you nonetheless.”
Soon thereafter she left too. Cacao was all alone with his thoughts. A dark impulse told him to stay in this room for as long as possible… and delay his inevitable meeting with Pure Vanilla.
Because truthfully, he was a bit embarrassed and regretful of what he told the other too. Surely, Vanilla took offense to his brash language. When he thought about the fear that flashed in Vanilla’s eyes when he scolded him, and then the frustration—Cacao felt a pit in his stomach.
That heaviness was only disrupted—and his thoughts only distracted, when he felt a jerky motion from the inside of his stomach. All his focus snapped to it.
“…What is that…” he thought out loud, as his hand came over to stroke it with his palm. It wasn’t visible through the maternity robe, but he felt another jerk. “…Are you having hiccups?”
Speaking to the child directly is what he should be doing, isn’t it? Instead of only addressing it in his thoughts. That’s how it can get adjusted to his voice, yes… That’s what the books said…
“…Are you feeling nervous, as I feel nervous?” Cacao let his other hand off the desk surface to place it on his stomach as well, “…You don’t have to worry. Pure Vanilla and I do not always agree on everything, but… our bond is firmer than the core of earth. A petty argument, a small disagreement, would not leave a dent in our friendship.”
Cacao’s voice hitched, “…It would not, would it?”
And as he breathed, the baby hiccuped again.
The father sighed through gritted teeth, “Fine… Very well… I’ll go up there to meet him right away.”
Standing up from a slightly low chair was already something scary, but standing up from the floor was a whole another dilemma. Imagine having two watermelons attached to your stomach, and having to do that.
First bent on one knee, took his documents under his arm, and then he pushed himself up to his feet by prepping against the short desk.
He heard the quiet whoosh of a paper sheet falling to the floor, falling out of his grasp.
“Not-… Urgh.” his voice sounded close to pitiful, “Why must you be such an inconvenience… I can’t even look and see what fell, because you’re in the way.” He could not see his feet. He turned on his heel to get a better look, “…Is that important? How important is it? Perhaps, I can afford to lose that one.”
It was hard to read any of the small writing on it, because he was the height of a tree.
“……I really am not capable of the barest minimum of workload, huh?” Cacao sobbed into his free hand, “I can’t believe this…”
Increasingly frustrated at himself, Cacao slowly waddled through the citadel’s ground floor until he reached one of the grand staircases. Just looking at it made his hips hurt. And the inevitability of his feet swelling after all that. His backside was stinging from the previous several hours of sitting too. The king let his head down in shame.
“…I can’t believe that Pure Vanilla was right to look down on me and doubt my ability to just walk and transition from sitting to standing…” he was leaning against the wall with his back, talking softly and quietly. “I am not afraid of pain or injury, but if overexerting myself puts you at risk, then I don’t know what to do with myself.”
But it wasn’t all just concern for the baby, was it?
He was bickering his way out of going upstairs for multiple reasons.
“…But nonetheless, I still think that Pure Vanilla has a pervasive tendency to pity others. As a medic, he… can really only prove his value to people, when they are dealing with a medical problem.
…I feel like a monster for even thinking that, let alone saying it. I don’t know if that is truly an opinion I have or not. It’s like there are two opposing people in my head…” his forehead wrinkled, “A part of me knows that he only meant well, and that he is my dearest friend, yet I am filled with doubt at the same time… suspiciousness, wariness, distrust. How can I feel two completely opposite emotions at the same time…?!”
But he should be saying these things to Vanilla, instead of the furniture.
…Why did his throat clog up for a second. His eyes felt warmer. Did he seriously bring himself to tears?
“…These feelings… They are nonsensical and bewildering… And there is no need for me to bring that nonsensical mess into Vanilla’s mind as well. If he knew, surely he’d loathe me.”
He sucked it up, all of his stormy thoughts, and breathed out cool air. Fingers dug into his head, tugging at the strands of tangled locks. He had to close his eyes and let this panic pass.
Yet it was harder than usual to retreat his mind. He tugged harder at his head, pressed the sharp edge of his crown into the skin, until it began to hurt. Concentrating on this pain… elevated the mental one.
“…I…I have to stop allowing myself to think…Such dishonorable words…
I’ll accept any apology, I apologize for my own accusatory words, just please, don’t leave me…”
He came to wicked conclusions. He is to blame.
“I have to stop allowing myself to feel… so deeply… I have to stop allowing myself to feel at all…”
In an instant, his inner eye showed him the most harrowing of images. A hundred memories, all of which made him remember that—Things can end so quickly, and so easily. Far too many people have vanished out of Dark Cacao’s life because of small mistakes. He earlier reassured himself that this kerfuffle would mean nothing in the grand scheme of things, but with all this silence and confusion, his mind armed itself for the possibility that the fate, and destiny to be Pure Vanilla’s comrade, would come to an end today.
He could not snap himself out of it. That morbid fantasy.
Shhhh. That came out of nowhere. It would be pretty bad if he just decided to go upstairs now and meet Vanilla while he’s in this brittle, brittle state, with tears that just barely got sucked back into his eyes. Therefore, he allowed himself to spare two more minutes at the bottom of the stairs, massaging his forehead. He needs to regain his balance. Regain his composure. And start with a deep sigh.
His eyes snapped open when he heard an ever-so familiar sound of an orchid-cane tip dragging across the floor.
Pure Vanilla revealed himself from behind a corner. Pure remorse was painted across his face, as he approached Cacao, with his free hand clutching his chest.
“I…I knew it’s quite the distance for you to wander to your bedroom, so I waited down here to meet you.”
“…”
“Dark Cacao Cookie…”
A nimble hand rose up to hold the other king’s shoulder.
“You sniffle, are you weeping?”
“…”
“I heard everything you said…”
“…”
“I hadn’t suspected that that’s how you feel about me…”
Cacao’s lip gaped, as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t know what.
“…And about yourself…”
Vanilla’s frown deepened, “…I deeply apologize for what happened in that room. I was overtaken by worry for you, I have been for a long time.” his gaze fell away from Cacao, “You… Your assertion about me wasn’t wrong… I realize now… We’ve been apart for so long that I wanted to make myself more useful to you. I wanted to show you that I really care about you. And this unborn child as well. And I was desperate to prove it, convey it to you. I didn’t realize that it all felt to you like you’ve been coddled…”
“…I don’t look down on you, either.”
“That thing you mentioned about White Lily… I still don’t fully understand what you meant by it…”
Cacao chewed on the back of his mouth. He had no choice but to be open and admit it. “…There are moments where I feel like you are too… forgiving towards other people. And I think you might have a special bias for your friends.
But then I… I know that this sounds strange, but, I do not agree with the person I was three hours ago… I can’t explain what I was thinking.”
“Mm…” Vanilla’s fingers crawled farther up, until he could brush his knuckle against Cacao’s cheek, “If I may say… Could it be that you despise when others are forgiven, because you can not forgive yourself?”
Cacao felt that pit in his stomach again.
“…I don’t know. It could be. You put yourself to such a high standard, my friend. And now that I heard your mumblings, I am more assured of it than ever. There is chaos inside your mind, but you force yourself to remain rigid. And therefore… You are annoyed when people around you seem to ‘get away’ with their feelings.”
It was the confrontation that Cacao did not expect to have with Vanilla. It left him in a frozen state. Vanilla felt the other’s face heat up, and his heart rate accelerate.
“…In spite of what you said about White Lily, I think you two are very, very alike…” Vanilla made a slight smile when he thought about that girl, “Neither of you seem to fully accept that you are my dearest friends, and it’s not because you show me the good sides of your character—but the bitter too.
I would not turn against you if I found out that you harbor a secret, or even had a problem with me. Similarly, I know that you wouldn’t do it to me either.”
“…”
“It’s alright to admit that you’re not, well, um…” what is the kindest way to put it, Vanilla stammered.
“Well in the head.”
“Sick in the head is one, demeaning way to put it. Everyone’s brains tick differently. We can read the same sentence and get something different out of it. In order to make peace, we have discussions. You mustn’t be afraid of judgment from me… I would really like to know what goes on inside your head.”
The thing Dark Cacao hated the most. Putting his emotions into words. He had to concentrate on the patterns on the floor to confess this harbored secret.
“I really appreciate everything you said, and did for me… Indeed, I… sometimes don’t feel like I’m in control of what I think and feel. I don’t know how much of this can be blamed on the hormonal changes in my body, and how much of it is just the way I am. I’m afraid that if word about this got outside these walls, my entire kingdom would turn against me.” Cacao exhaled, “And my colleagues against me too.”
“Why—”
“I don’t know why.” he spoke weakly, only for Vanilla to hear, “I don’t know if it is something that happened a long time ago that caused this or not. So long ago, it was before I met you. It doesn’t feel voluntary.
There is nothing you can say to convince my brain that you are trustworthy, because you’ve already done enough. It is my own responsibility to learn it… not fall into this fear of… breach and betrayal.
A slow nod from Vanilla, “…I am glad you told me about this. You can be reassured that this is not something that would make me turn against you. Shall we continue talking upstairs? I think it’s time we got back to our— woh! ”
Before he knew it, Vanilla was pulled into an embrace by Cacao. The giddy thing about it was that their torsos couldn’t touch, because of the massive bump in the way. Vanilla instead could press his cheek to a pillowy bust, and lean against the firm stomach, as Cacao held him in place there.
Cacao did not say anything more. The hug was the clearest gesture he could extend Vanilla’s way to show his appreciation. The love he felt for his friend.
They stood at the bottom of the stairs for another few minutes, sharing gentle caresses on one another’s backs.
They later got up to prepare for the next day, and finally went to their respective beds to sleep.
They didn’t look back on their conflict earlier. It has already become a distant memory.
Still a bit shaken up after last night’s events, Dark Cacao brought a melancholic air of him when he accompanied Pure Vanilla to the bridge.
Before leaving, “One last thing,” Cacao beckoned Vanilla to come closer to him.
“What is it?” The blond asked, before Cacao shifted his weight from one foot to another, and carefully bent forward, putting a hand behind Vanilla’s neck.
A look of surprise emerged on his face, multicolored eyes opened, when Cacao pressed a small, silent kiss on the corner of Vanilla’s lips.
He waited until the other’s face inched away, and then returned the same kiss to Cacao’s lips.
“…There.” Vanilla spoke lowly while their foreheads were practically touching, “Now our debts are even.”
Cacao chuckled behind closed lips. “Farewell, dear Pure Vanilla.”
“Farewell, and I hope to see you well again soon, Dark Cacao dear.”
The wandering healer’s form vanished behind the five peaks; thus Pure Vanilla’s visit came to an end.