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Why was she so pretty?
It was the only thing that Merrill could think about for hours now.
She was in the Hanged Man with Hawke, Varric, Fenris, Aveline (which surprised Merrill greatly), and Isabela.
Isabela.
Isabela was laughing, always loud and obnoxious, but she thought it was so beautiful.
Everything about Bela was beautiful. Her golden eyes, her dark and wavy hair that Merrill wanted to braid, her dark skin littered with gold piercings and jewels, and her body.
Creators, she has the most beautiful body Merrill has ever seen. Well, she never saw Bela nude, but she imagined that it was a wonderful sight. She’s yearned for that sight for three years now. She desperately wants to know the feel of her skin, to finally know how her breasts feel against her own, to roam her eyes over the magnificent span of her body, to-
“Eyes up here, Kitten.”
Merrill jumped and snapped her eyes towards Isabela, who currently had the most infuriatingly beautiful and knowing smirk on her face.
“Sorry, sorry, I don’t really know what I did but I’m so very sorry, Bela.”
“Don’t get too worked up about it, Kitten. I’m used to people staring at my breasts. It’s hard to not notice them.”
Marian giggled. “They’re the most beautiful pieces of art the Maker ever made.”
Marian held up a hand, raising a brow in askance. Isabela stuck her chest out and grinned at Marian. Marian grinned back and cupped a handful of Isabela’s breast, sighing in contentment.
“Maker, so fucking soft.”
Merrill felt so hot that she was sure her skin burned off from embarrassment. She looked down at her hands on the table, fiddling them while listening to the ruckus of her friends and trying to fight off her feelings of inadequacy.
She needed to remind herself that she could never be with Bela. She always gets lost in her daydreams about being with her, and it hurt more and more every time she was brought back to reality.
She felt a hand land on her shoulder and looked down to see Varric. He smiled kindly at her, as if he knew of the heartache happening inside Merrill’s head. She wouldn’t be surprised if he was completely aware.
She placed her hand over the dwarf’s large one of her shoulder and tried her best to smile down at the dwarf, taking sincere comfort where she could.
Even if she could never have Bela, she would always have her friends.