Chapter Text
It was a wonderful day in Elwood City. Birds were chirping and the sun was shining, and over at the Sugar Bowl, Carl was getting ready for a good day of business. He made sure his ice cream machines were churning the soft serve appropriately, then he made sure he had plenty of bananas, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream. Today was a banana split kind of day, and he just knew teens were going to come in looking to share the delectable treat.
He flipped his sign to say OPEN and cleaned the counters, eagerly watching the sidewalk for incoming customers. His eyes landed on Sue Ellen Armstrong approaching with her shiny purple notebook and a small kitten-shaped purse. A smile fell on his lips as he conjured up what he knew about the girl. She was dating the aardvark boy, Arthur, but he didn't know what she saw in him. He was a fire cracker now that Francine was done with him, but that was a different story. He decided to focus on this one, and he smiled as Sue Ellen entered the shop and sat down at a back booth, nodding to him as she passed. She was here for a date, he just knew it.
Carl moved to wiping the bowls with his dishrag, not that any were wet yet. These were stacked from last night, meaning they'd had all night to dry. They didn't need the wiping, but he had to keep himself busy. And the area where the bowls were gave him full view of the sidewalk and the small parking lot outside of his business. This allowed him to see—wait, were his old eyes failing him? No! Buster Baxter came strolling up, leaving his bike on the stand without a lock.
Buster ambled in, nodding to Carl as he moved towards the back booth, the one with Sue Ellen in it.
“I can't believe it!” Carl thought, shaking his head. How could Sue Ellen do such a thing? And with his best friend!
Buster pulled out a menu for a moment then waved Carl over. Carl pulled a pen out of a jar by the register and walked over. Buster ordered a single banana split...and two spoons. Carl nearly fell over, but he knew to do what he was told. He put two dollaps of vanilla ice cream down, then three chocolates, then two strawberry on top. Next he pulled out two bananas and laid them out, then he drizzled on chocolate sauce, squirted on the whipped cream, and added two cherries. He put in two spoons and the dish was done. He delivered it to the teens then sulked into the kitchen.
Carl watched through the dish return spot as the two looked over a book between bites. Sue Ellen looked up at Buster and smiled every few minutes, an obvious sign of love. Well, false love. She was in a relationship with Arthur. She shouldn't have been with Buster, not at all, and it made Carl very angry. He had to tell someone, but he wasn't really sure how to do it...until he remembered his nephew.
Ever since his sister divorced her husband, Carl had been spending more time with his nephew. The boy was an eight-year-old terror, enough to put the monsters in horror movies out of business, but lately he'd been occupied by a cellphone he insisted his mother get him. She resisted for months, but now that the boy was going between houses and going to stay with his uncle too, he needed it...and the apps and games that went with it. Carl hated it, but he liked one of the apps for this occasion.
Cheaters loaded easily onto his phone, and after filling out a profile with alternate information, Carl posted a picture of the couple with this caption:
OMG, u won't believe this!! Look @ whose on a date. OMG, such a cheater! Sue Ellen, how could u?
He knew it fit how a teen would talk, and he hoped plenty of people would see it and listen. Sue Ellen Armstrong was a cheater and everyone had to know.
Sue Ellen entered her room and put down her books. She booted up her computer to begin working on a report for history when the tone sounded for her email...several times. She wasn't expecting anything, but when she opened her email, she found almost a dozen new messages, four of which were from her boyfriend.
“What in the world? Why are people being so mean?” Sue Ellen asked, scrolling through the subjects. When she landed on Arthur's message with RE: HOW COULD U?!, she knew something was up. She opened Arthur's email to find him ranting to her, then breaking up with her for being such a skank.
She didn't understand it. How was she a skank? What did she even do to get such a thing said about her?
As she sat there confused, a new email came in, this time from her best friend, Fern. It was labeled RE: Head's up. Sue Ellen opened it and found a link to the app's online counterpart, cheaters.com. Sue Ellen saw the photo and read the caption, then she made an account in an attempt to defend herself:
Hey, this is Sue Ellen. I was NOT on a date with Buster! We shared a banana split as we talked about a group project. Another person was supposed to be there but he never showed. Honest. Ask Binky Barnes for proof.
She posted it, then to her surprise, people started attacking her from all different directions. She eventually just closed the window and disconnected from the internet. How could people be so mean over something so stupid?
She decided to call Arthur, but he refused to answer. He was done with her, all over a banana split lunch meeting with a group partner. Sue Ellen texted Buster and let him know what was going on. Double standards were clear as he responded “Oh really? Didn't notice.”
Sue Ellen cried, then she started her history report anyway despite her ill mood.
Binky was walking out of a bookstore carrying a new purchase when Muffy Crosswire stopped directly in his path and held her phone in his face. Binky shifted his bag in his hand and peered around Muffy's phone to look her in the eye:
“What are you doing?”
“Look!” Muffy demanded. “Why weren't you at your meeting with your group? Now everyone is calling Sue Ellen a monster!”
Binky cursed himself. How could he forget such an important meeting? He pulled out his phone and looked through his messages, then looked up to Muffy confused, “We weren't meeting today, it's tomorrow. What are you even talking about?”
Muffy scoffed, “Really? You're just going to play dumb as TWO relationships crumble?”
“Yeah, you've really lost me now. Could you just explain what's going on instead of assuming I know everything,” Binky requested, scratching his head in confusion as his bag swung in his hand.
“Sue Ellen is dating Arthur, and Buster is dating me. Someone posted this to the Cheaters app,” Muffy said angrily, tapping her smartphone's case with her fake nails, “and now everything thinks they were on a date. I know they weren't on a date, and Sue Ellen responded to the post saying it was a group meeting, which it was because Buster told me. Why weren't you there?”
“Here's my phone,” Binky exclaimed, “just take it and do what you want! No one sent me anything.”
Muffy did as he asked, and she quickly realized he was right. She shifted and handed back his phone, “So they're lying about the group meeting?”
“I don't know. What does it matter anyway? They're eating a banana split while doing homework. We did that all the time as kids,” Binky shrugged, walking away.
“Well it was cheating then too,” Muffy pouted, pulling up Buster's number. He didn't answer, but Muffy decided that didn't matter. She'd just go over to his condo and confront him.
Sue Ellen was upset, too upset to properly do her paper. She just couldn't believe what was going on, and she was even more upset that no one online believed her. She had to do something about this, and since Arthur wasn't talking to her, she decided the next best thing would be to go to Buster and make sure she wasn't many any cues. It was his idea to share the banana split, and it was his idea to get such an early jump on their group assignment.
As she got to the condo, she noticed a familiar car pull into the lot, Muffy's. Sue Ellen sighed heavily, knowing exactly what was about to happen. Word was spreading fast, and she knew that in Muffy's eyes, she was the enemy.
But she had to do this. Despite what she knew was coming, Sue Ellen kept walking into the complex, right into the danger zone.