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Alex and Morgan both received the invitation to tea on the same day. Morgan’s came in the form of a text conversation with their sister. Tayler had sent them a message out of the blue a few weeks after her wedding. Not having expected anything from her, the D tier was quick to open it.
Hey, you remember May from the wedding right?
Morgan scoffed at the idea that anyone could forget a child that precocious. If nothing else she had thoroughly shocked Alex and that was worth remembering every second of.
Yeah, are her parents finally kicking up a fuss about her sitting with us?
They tossed their phone back down on the desk they were working at. The plans for one of their back up bases were spread before them and Morgan was contemplating how much they really needed it as a backup. It had been a long time since they pulled together an elaborate death trap and the large central space would be perfect for one. They could lure in a lower tier hero or two with rumors that it was their actual base. It would probably be worth it if they got to watch Ohio James run around like an idiot only to find empty rooms on the other side.
Morgan only barely noticed the vibrations of their phone and absentmindedly picked it back up. The response from Tayler knocked any idea of plotting out of their mind entirely and replaced it with incredulity.
No. Apparently she misses you and would like to invite you to a tea party on Saturday at 2pm.
What?
Morgan thought the single word adequately expressed their feelings.
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Meanwhile, Alex had been mostly just supervising some of their more action oriented minions in the hostile takeover of a random power plant somewhere along the west coast. A few of their scientists had gotten together for some sort of project that the S tier honestly hadn’t read the proposal for, and now they needed a frankly ludicrous amount of power for some reason.
To that end they had set out that morning with three separate teams. Two of those groups were already ensconced in their own facilities. They were running the plants at full output but draining everything produced into specialized batteries. Once they had full charges they each had their own exit strategy and transport stations relatively close by.
The team they were currently with was just hooking up the battery cells when the sound of a heavy impact reverberated through the floor. Alex grinned. It seemed the cavalry had arrived. With a thought they found themselves outside the building facing a sight that stretched their grin wider.
Leader USA, new laser enhanced shield and all, was just standing from his dramatic hero landing in the middle of the power plant’s parking area. The S tier scanned the sky and caught sight of some sort of military jet speeding away. They turned back to the hero with an eyebrow raised. “How did you eject from that without fucking over the pilot?”
Dave seemed startled at the question, enough that he stumbled to a stop before he could get more than a step or two closer. “What? Why does it matter? I’m here to free the employees of this plant and hopefully take you away to face justice.”
Alex sighed. They had hoped that the hero would be willing to banter a bit more now that they were better acquainted, but it seemed they were going to be all work still. “I was just curious. I figured clinging to the outside and just letting go over the parking lot would mess with the aerodynamics or something. Just trying to find an explanation for your travel that doesn't strain credulity.”
The villain grinned as Leader USA used their seeming distraction to try for a throw with his shield. It was easily dodged, of course, but it was still fun to watch the edges glow with a thin band of lasers and watch the strip of destruction as everything on the plain of the light was cleanly sliced in two. Sometimes Alex really did appreciate how good their R&D department was.
This time their distraction had been real and the S tier had let the hero much closer than they usually would have allowed. Dave took a swing at their head and they stepped back out of reach before it could connect. There was the sound of metal ricocheting off of concrete behind them and Alex ducked just in time to miss the returning shield, lasers now deactivated.
Dave executed a perfect catch and stood ready, clearly expecting Alex to retaliate. Instead the S tier just glanced around. “No friends to back you up? Don’t you normally travel in a group?”
The hero lunged in, raising his shield at the same time and tried to smash Alex in the face. He seemed to have given in to the villain’s current talkative demeanor though. “I was the only one in the area if you must know.”
Alex laughed even as they grabbed the edge of the shield and redirected its momentum past them instead of into them, spinning on one foot as they did. The patriotic hero was caught off balance and stumbled past before swiftly righting himself and whipping back around to face his opponent. “Oh, raw deal buddy. I see you’re playing with the new toy. How’s it working out for you?”
Dave glared as he took the opportunity to regroup. “You mean now that the tech guys have had a chance to take out all the micro explosives you had hidden in it? It works great.”
Alex flashed him a grin. “Checking your team for incompetence was part of the wedding present. Congratulations! They passed!”
The look on the man’s face clearly communicated how unamused he was. “Speaking of the wedding…May wants you to come to a tea party on Saturday.”
Alex froze in shock so suddenly that the right hook Leader USA had just thrown actually connected. The villain felt their head jerk to the side with the momentum and thought they might even bruise from the force of the hit. It had been a long time since a lone hero had been able to land a hit on them and the surprise was probably clear on their face.
Dave seemed just as surprised to have connected. The man was just sort of standing there, still in a fighting stance, but with wide eyes and a shocked expression.
“Excuse me? I’m gonna need you to repeat that.” Alex let their body relax, hoping the hero would take the hint and stop trying to fight as well.
“Uh, May invited you to a tea party. She was really excited about her ‘new friends’ after the wedding. Mark and Beth caved the other day and asked Tay and I to get invites to you and Morgan.” Somehow Dave managed to keep a straight face even while saying the most ludicrous thing the S tier thought they had ever heard.
“And you didn’t talk them out of it?” They let the incredulity they were feeling color the already sarcastic question.
The man in front of them made a frustrated motion with his arms and let out an explosive sigh. “Are you kidding?! I spent at least a week after the honeymoon just trying to convince May that you were a villain! She’s adamant that no one with eyes as ‘pretty’ as yours would hurt her.”
Alex just stared for a good minute. Dave surprisingly let them without even trying to sneakily take them out. “I think I need to go talk to Morgan.”
Without even waiting for the man to respond, Alex concentrated on their minions inside and moved all of them, as well as themselves back to their lair. The minions and the batteries they had been working on filling appeared in the empty room, clearly surprised, only to see their boss already running out the door.
Alex stayed at the lair only long enough to find Lighthouse and let them know that there had been an emergency. Their number two had given them a knowing look and quipped about being able to hear everything through the comms. The S tier had been too preoccupied to do anything more than grin appreciatively before they teleported themselves to Morgan’s apartment to try to figure out if they were having a crisis or not.
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Morgan and Alex had jointly come to the conclusion that the tea party was not likely to actually be a trap. Not only was that not really Leader USA’s style, but Morgan had argued that the man would never use his own family as the trap. Alex had been unable to argue that point. With no real reason to distrust the invitation, the two villains had accepted.
Alex teleported them to the address that Tayler had texted over just before two in the afternoon. The world rematerialized into a peaceful cul de sac ringed with moderately sized houses. A good number of the yards had children's toys scattered around them and there seemed to be a communal movable basketball net between two of the driveways. It was the kind of place that typically avoided too much notice from villains or heroes due to being full of unconnected civilians.
Alex almost immediately looked uncomfortable with the surroundings. Morgan gave them a quick grin before grabbing their hand and starting towards the front door of the house they had appeared in front of. They were just getting close when the door swung inwards with a bang and a small body came barreling out the opening.
May slammed into Morgan’s legs with all the force a six year old could muster. Her short arms wrapped securely as far around the villain as she could get them. The only thing that kept the D tier from toppling over backwards was Alex’s reflexive catch. Before Morgan could even really react the little girl had let go and moved over to hug the S tier as well.
Alex just took the embrace in stride and waited for May to excitedly let go of their legs. When she did, it was only to reach out and grab one hand from each of the villains. The little girl then proceeded to drag them towards the front door, talking all the way about introducing them to the “other guests” and how excited she was that they were coming over. It was exceedingly cute and only made funnier by the way her parents lingered nervously just inside the doorway.
It was clear from the way they watched everything that they were more than passingly uncomfortable with having the pair of villains over. Morgan wasn’t sure what to think about the fact that they had caved and let it happen. On one hand, it was a good sign that they didn’t want to stifle their daughter’s outgoing and friendly nature. On the other, most people would probably consider it bad parenting to purposefully allow your child to hang out with S. Morgan decided to give them the benefit of the double and assume that they had only given in to May’s demands after talking to at least Tayler.
Despite their obvious discomfort, neither Mark or Beth Dodgers tried to stop their little girl from bodily dragging two villains into their living room. Morgan made a point of stopping just inside the door, gently pulling their hand from May’s. They weren’t exactly sure what the etiquette was for being invited to a six year old’s tea party so they had fallen back on what their parents had always done for dinner parties. The D tier sheepishly held out a bottle of what Alex assured them was nice wine. “Um, I’m not really sure if I’m doing this right but thank you for having us in your home?”
Their own nervousness made the statement sound like more of a question than they had meant it to. It seemed to have done the trick though as Mark’s face relaxed and Beth actually gave them a small smile as she accepted the bottle from them. “It’s no problem. May has been wanting to do something like this since the wedding ended. Really we should just be grateful you both agreed to come.”
Morgan chuckled a bit at the image of May pestering her mom and dad until they gave in. They knew the first part of her response had to be a lie but it was a nice sentiment anyways. They were just about to say something about the persistence of small children when May came skipping back into the room. She once again grabbed Morgan’s hand and started pulling.
“You’re gonna be late for tea! Come on.” Both parents just watched on in bemusement and motioned for the D tier to follow along after their daughter. Morgan figured it would be easier not to argue.
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Alex sat in the spot they had very forcefully been told was theirs as they waited for May to finish fetching Morgan from her parents. The little girl had had no problem dragging them off alone when the D tier had stopped to exchange pleasantries with her mom and dad. Alex had gone along with it and found themselves in a neat and nicely appointed living room.
A cleared area off to one side was clearly reserved as May’s play space. There was a large, old steamer chest pushed against one wall that had toys and stuffed animals spilling out of the poorly closed lid. In the center of the space was a small table. Alex had been relieved to see a lack of tiny, child sized chairs. Instead each spot at the table had been given a pillow as the seat.
Three of the four spaces had been left empty. At the fourth sat a stuffed animal so decrepit and old that Alex just had to trust May when she insisted that “Mr. Floofers” was a hippo. To the S tier it just looked like some grey rags with entirely too little stuffing sewn in. Nevertheless they had obligingly shaken the sad, understuffed foot that May held out towards them. Morgan had made a point of getting a promise to be on their best behavior out of them before ever leaving the apartment.
It wasn’t a terribly long wait for the little girl to come clamoring back into the room, D tier helplessly in tow behind her. Morgan was giving her a very attentive look as she apparently explained the seating arrangement to them. They nodded seriously as she glanced up at them and received a beaming smile in return. Alex had a startling moment where for just a second they could perfectly picture their partner as a parent in a perfectly quaint little house of their own, with a little brown haired child excitedly pulling them into a new game. It was not something they had ever thought about before and until that moment they would have sworn that the other villain would never have fit the picture.
Alex shook the thought away as May skipped up to the table and dragged Morgan to the seat next to the S tier. She repeated her introduction of Mr. Floofers to the new arrival, handshake and all before taking her own seat at the last open spot. Alex was sure at that point that they had never done anything more ridiculous in their life. They almost hoped one of the neighbors called it in to a news station just so that they could see people’s reactions.
With introductions out of the way May reached for the lightly steaming tea pot in the center of the table. She very politely offered to pour for both villains while only pretending to add tea to Mr. Floofers’ cup. Alex was once again surprised, this time to find a very pleasant Assam tea that they thought their mom would have liked. This was, so far, a much more proper tea than they had been expecting from a six year old.
May continued that impression as she started off the conversation with gossip worthy of the setting. “My Grandma said Aunty Tayler’s family is a bag of cats. Mommy wont tell me what that means though.”
Morgan grinned and leaned forward with interest. “Really? It means she thinks we’re crazy. Do you know what she was talking about when she said that?”
May’s face lit up at the information and she nodded eagerly. “Grandma said that they were a bag of cats if they thought that yelling about it at a wedding would keep their secrets.”
Alex was pretty sure that the little girl was misquoting something in there but it got the point across. Between Kate, Portia, and Maddy, it seemed people had taken notice of the less than stable family ties on Tayler’s side of things. They had wondered a bit at Dodger’s seemingly sudden change in how he treated Morgan, and to an extent Alex themself. Having been at the wedding and now hearing what May’s grandma had said, they were starting to think the change may have been due to Tayler sharing a bit more about her family in preparation for the guaranteed wedding drama.
They took a casual sip of their tea and decided to see if the little girl had overheard anything else good. “What did everyone else think of the wedding?
“Grandpa said there were too many people and the heroes were cond, con-des, were kind of mean.” Alex hid a smile at the little girl’s frustration in another sip from their cup.
Morgan on the other hand very kindly offered condescending as the word that she had been trying for. May beamed back at them and practiced the word a few times to herself. Right around the end of her attempted memorization Mark came into the room like he didn’t want to be noticed.
The man eventually made his way over to the little table and set down a plate of what looked like home made scones of some sort. He nervously rubbed at the back of his head and managed a little smile at his daughter. “Your mom thought you all might like some snacks to go with your tea.”
His eyes flicked around a bit as if checking that everything was still in one piece but May didn’t notice. “Thank you Daddy! Mommy makes the best treats.” The last part was said towards both villains even as she reached for one of the baked sweets.
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Morgan smothered their amusement at Mark’s obvious discomfort. It was clear that his wife was much better at keeping her cool and they wondered why she hadn’t just come in herself. They had the fleeting thought that she might think her husband’s discomfort was a bit funny too. Then the man nodded a bit jerkaly, told his daughter to “have fun”, and hightailed it out of his own living room.
Morgan couldn’t have stopped the laughter if they tried. As it subsided they were unsurprised to see Alex looking at them with clear amusement on their face. What was less expected was the matching look on May. The little girl looked almost on the verge of laughter herself.
She cracked a grin that was just a bit too toothy to be fully innocent. “Daddy is a little scared of you guys. Mommy said he needs to get over it because we’re gonna be friends.”
Morgan lost control of their laughter again. This time they were joined by the bright giggles of their host. The D tier was starting to think that Dave was going to have a problem on his hands if May ever manifested a super power.
They caught sight of Alex’s grin until the S tier masked it by taking a bite of scone. The other’s eyes went a little wide even as they chewed slowly and swallowed. The D tier soon found a scone of their own practically being forced on them. “Morgan, you have to try these. They’re so good.”
They obligingly took the scone from their partner and bit off a chunk of one corner. Despite Alex’s reaction they hadn’t quite expected the perfection of the flavors. They had of course eaten maple pecan scones before, but these were by far the best ones they’d ever tried. There was just the right balance of nuts to flaky, buttery pastry, and the drizzle of maple icing on top was just the right amount to be tasted but not overpower anything.
Morgan was not ashamed to admit that they lost track of anything but the perfect scone for just a little while. Alex laughing at them brought them back relatively quickly though. “You’re right, those are really good.”
May had a smug look on her face, like her mom’s baking skill was something she was responsible for. No one at the table seemed inclined to disagree with her. Certainly not the mostly forgotten Mr Floofers.
The rest of tea time had gone in much the same way. May had shared what passed for gossip with a six year old. None of it had been as interesting as the first few bits she had shared but Morgan never let on to that. Alex had even done an admirable job pretending not to be bored to death over the description of some playground disagreement.
About an hour after the tea party had started Beth came into the room to break it up. Apparently May had swimming lessons in half an hour and needed to get ready. The excitable little girl had jumped up and given each villain a firm hug before running off, yelling about which swimsuit she wanted to wear.
All three adults had watched the departure with varying levels of bemusement. Morgan eventually broke the silence. “I assume that’s our cue to leave then.”
They shot a grin at Beth and was happy to see it easily returned. “That would be convenient.”
Alex chuckled at the less than forceful agreement. They held their arm out to Morgan like some proper gentleman even as they addressed Beth themself. “It was very kind of you to have us over. I very much enjoyed your scones.”
Morgan grabbed the offered arm and felt themselves teleporting out even as they watched the pleased blush spread up the woman’s face.