Work Text:
It was standing in the corner again. A dark, mangled looking version of himself in his military uniform, black goo dripping from his eyes and lips. It had an unsettling smile, black and void, burning a hole into the side of his face.
Naib tried his best to ignore him. After all, he wasn't real. Just a figment of his imagination. A dark shadow from his past— something he never really wanted to talk about.
"Hey, boss?" Ah, the new intern was at his door now. The shadow figure turned his head to watch the young man walk into his office with a stack of papers, resting them on the top of Naib's wooden desk.
"Yeah, do you need something?" The detective rubbed the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a second to will away the incoming headache.
"Uh, no, nothing, just..." The boy trailed off, fidgeting with his gloves.
"Yes? Spit it out, kid."
"… I just- ... Sir, you look like you haven't slept in days."
"This is my normal face."
"Well- yes, but- I mean, no! No, um..."
The detective sighed again, leaning back in his chair, resting a hand on his face. He didn't want to deal with this today. At least, not right now.
"Just finish whatever is on your desk today."
The boy bit his bottom lip, but sighed and nodded, turning his back and heading back out of the office, shutting the door behind him with a gentle click.
The shadow stared at the door before swiveling it's disgusting head towards him, it's smile growing wider than it already was.
"You're a terrible liar, Naib."
Just ignore it. Ignore him, the ghost from his past that—
" You couldn't even be a little nicer about it?"
If he could punch it in the face, he already would have. But that would have been counterproductive. After all, it wasn't even real.
He frowned, glaring at the screen on his desk, even more irritated that they had to manually put information into these infernal computers, since a stupid power outage caused some unsaved files to be lost (he didn't know anything about that, but he heard Balsa was really pissed about it). The screen was too bright, white light flashing at his eyes, making his head hurt, as if a mallet was being slammed against his skull over and over again.
Why was he even seeing this thing? Well, he hadn't been sleeping very well as of late, plagued with nightmares of his past, his doubts, his fears. Of course— he knew they weren't real. Dreams are just manifestations of one's fears, amplified by a hundred or more. When you're dreaming, you don't know what's real and what's not. You'll accept everything as reality without any shadow of a doubt, believing every little lie that you would dismiss in the waking world.
Now, when you force yourself to stay awake for fourty-eight hours, those nightmares will begin to bleed into reality, mocking Naib for trying to escape from his dreams.
The detective sighed once more, crossing his arms across his desk and resting his head on them like a makeshift pillow.
He was so exhausted, his body desperately begging it's owner for rest, and yet... He didn't want to see those things again. That shadow that looked like him— that was enough to keep him awake. If that thing was as awful and disgusting when he was awake, then it'd be even more repulsive if he went to sleep.
The room was starting to feel cold, the evening sun that filtered in from the window blinds behind him disappeared. It must be late in the night by now. He should get home... Yet a terrifying chill ran down his spine, the feeling of pure dread gripping him by the shoulders as if grounding him in his chair.
He couldn't move.
"What a shame. Little Naib, still running away from his problems..."
A raspy voice whispered in his ear.
"Just like before. Worthless. You let her die."
Stop it.
"You could have saved her, you know?"
Go away.
"But you were so incompetent, and you let her burn—"
A crash sounded throughout the room as Naib forced himself to sit up, breaths laboured like he had just ran across the city. It took him a moment to realize it was another nightmare, as the cold dissipated and the sunlight returned. He looks over to the clock on the wall to see it was still only five pm.
Just when had he fallen asleep?
Naib looked down at the floor, remembering he had knocked something over, and realized it was the old desk lamp he had been using since forever ago. He groaned, realizing he now needs to replace it, shaking his head.
The detective got out of his chair to look for the dustpan he always kept around, and began brushing the glass shards into the plastic pan and dumping them into the garbage bin in the corner of the room. When he sat down at his desk, getting ready to finish copying the reports, his phone buzzed on the countertop. He was a little puzzled, as nobody normally calls or texts him at this hour. He grabbed it and turned it on, seeing a new message from his partner— which he immediately opened up to see.
[Cariño! How is work going?]
He hesitated to reply, unsure how to even tell him that it was a rather slow day, or even anything that wasn't remotely boring for him. Before he could even write a single word, though, another message popped up.
[Your intern texted me. He was worried. Is everything okay?]
Ah... That brat... He's gonna scold him later. But for now...
[Everything is fine.]
Now, knowing his dear partner, that simply wasn't enough. And so, a call immediately lit up his screen, the little bubble with the letter N in the center alongside the default ringtone blasting through the speakers.
(It was so startling that Naib jumped a little bit, although he'd never admit that).
"H-hello?"
"Naib. Are you overworking yourself again?"
He paused.
"… No... Not exactly."
"Naib."
"Norton."
A sigh rang from the other end of the line, and Naib could hear the man moving around in his room, doing god knows what.
"I'm coming to pick you up."
"What? No you don't need to—"
"Finish some work, I'll be there in about thirty minutes. That should be enough for you, right?"
"... Okay."
"I'll see you soon."
A click could be heard from the other end as Norton hung up, and suddenly, Naib was alone again. He looked down at the disconnected icon on his phone screen before it turned dark, the only thing he could now see being his own reflection. Sunken eyes with dark circles, his skin a sickly pale, like paper.
He looked like a mess.
The detective placed an equally sick looking hand on the side of his face, feeling how dry his skin was, remembering he hadn't even taken a proper shower in a good while either.
"I... Look like a mess." He mused to himself, putting down his phone and staring back towards the bright computer screen. He didn't have a lot of reports to put in, just maybe two or three new ones, whose information he retained perfectly in his mind. But... maybe it was better to have the paper at the side since he was so tired. His memory might not be the best right now. No- it definitely isn't the best right now.
He grumbled something to himself, shifting in his seat, getting comfortable before finishing the manual input of the reports into the system.
It was hard to focus with that thing standing in the corner again. It had moved to stand to his left now, next to the cabinet that held his medals and picture frames. Watching. Staring at him. Naib could feel it's gaze on him, burning into the side of his head. It was scalding.
"Are you alright, angel?"
The detective looked up from the last paper, seeing his beloved partner standing at the door with a soft smile on his lips, and suddenly, the thing standing in the corner didn't bother him as much anymore.
"Norton..."
The architect shook his head, walking over to him to see what he was doing, frowning when he saw the amount of reports that Naib had gone through. Five piles of papers— and none left. He'd finished all of them.
"I know that's not what a normal workload looks like."
"We just needed to input the information into the computers... It wasn't overkill or anything...."
Naib felt like a child being scolded by his mother all of a sudden.
"And every other desk I passed only had two piles— which were half of one, by the way!" He patted his hand on top of a pile that was close to toppling over, making Naib jump and shoot his hands out to keep it from actually falling off his desk. That'd be a pain to clean up later.
"What did I say?"
"... Okay, you're right about the amount of papers, but this much is—"
"Nothing, right? Wrong. Naib, mi cielo, you need to rest."
"I don't— the kid called you, didn't he."
"Maybe."
Naib sighs.
"Angel, everyone agrees you should take time off."
"Everyone as in-?"
"Your boss."
"You talked to José?"
"And Jack. And Martha. And-"
"Okay, okay I get it! I'm going to go home early then!"
Norton thought his pouting face was adorable. The detective got out of his chair, and tried his best to stifle the yawn that threatened his mouth, but failed.
"You'll be taking a week— no, actually, two weeks off."
"What? You can't just decide that-"
"I did. And José agreed with me."
"Norton..."
"Naib. You need rest. You look like you could collapse at any minute, mi cielo."
"But-"
"We've talked about this. I know you're passionate about your work, but you can't think straight if you don't rest."
"..."
Well, he was right. If one doesn't get any rest, he will not have a steady head, and it could prove fatal, considering his occupation. But...
"Is it the nightmares?"
Ah.
"It's..."
He couldn't finish what he wanted to say, but Norton knew exactly what he meant. It was the nightmares— keeping him from sleep, from peace of mind. The architect looked over at him with sympathy in his eyes, something Naib hated. Yes, he loved him, he knew he loved him. But... The look of pity was something he abhorred, and while he knew it was simply concern from his lover, it still stung. It was like- like he was useless, worthless, incapable of living for himself.
"Don't look at me like that."
"Naib..."
"Please."
Norton wrapped his arms around his beloved, feeling him return the hug with arms around back. He sighed and gently caressed his hair, feeling how messy it was (he didn't even brush his hair, and he knew Naib took good care of his hair).
"I'm sorry, mi amor. But I worry for you."
The detective just lay his head against his chest, hearing the gentle thumping of his heart. He liked listening to that sound, it was a calming rhythm, especially when he was having trouble sleeping. But alas, Norton had his own home and work to do, he couldn't always be at his beck and call. So the nightmares were something he needed to deal with on his own most nights— and yet he somehow, always, knew when he was in trouble.
"Want to stay at my place for your vacation?"
The detective looks up, staring at him with those dim blue eyes. Norton wonders what happened to the stars inside them.
"Can I do that?" Naib whispers, and Norton nods, resting one of his hands on his face and rubbing his thumb gently against his cheek.
"Of course you can. You're always welcome." He pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead, his arm around his shoulder as he guided him out of his office, grabbing his coat for him on the way out.
Before they reached the door, Naib stopped to glance back at the creature, who only kept smiling. It tilts it's head before raising a hand to wave goodbye in a taunting manner, curling each finger individually as if it were a friend who'd just exchanged gossip with him.
It has gotten dark outside already, the weather drizzling just a little bit. Norton quickly ushered Naib into the passenger's side of his car— a 2019 Mazda, shiny and red. He took good care of the thing, that's for sure.
The disgusting creature was seated in the back, sitting peacefully. It was behaving as if it wasn't some abomination, conjured up from the depths of Naib's nightmares. He looks up into the rearview mirror, the thing looking back at him silently. It stayed in the back seat until they reached Norton's house— a nice home that he had designed himself. Naib always looked at it in awe, impressed by his skill and work. He's even seen his office (which was a mess by the way), the plans he had drawn and sometimes the little doodles in a tiny sketchbook he brought with him to keep himself from getting bored.
"Have you eaten yet?" Norton's voice startles Naib out from his stupor, and he nods.
"Just a sandwich and a coffee from the cafe down the street..." He mumbles, looking over to his lover, who'd just put the car into park.
"What about for dinner?"
"Ah..." He hasn't eaten dinner. Norton chuckled a bit before reaching over to grab his hand, rubbing circles into the back of his hand with his thumb.
"I can make dinner then."
"Sorry..."
"Don't apologize, mi amor. This is what I'm here for."
"To feed me?" He offered a joke, and Norton laughs, unbuckling his seatbelt to get out of the car.
"To love you."
He froze and blushed, his tired brain short-circuiting from the response. He was so surprised he didn't even notice Norton had come around to his side and opened his door for him.
"Come on, let's get inside. It's dark and cold, I don't think you wanna be out here any longer than I do."
The detective sighed and nodded, unbuckling the seatbelt and stepping out of the car. He grabbed his bag and coat, noticing that the monster in the back seat had disappeared. Good. His anxiety decreased.
"It won't take too long to cook today," Norton says as he unlocks the front door, "I already planned to just steam fish tonight. My mom sent me some in the morning— hope you don't mind it being simple."
"That's fine, Nort, I don't mind." Naib locks the door behind them as he sheds his coat and hangs it in the closet, while fishing out a pair of blue slippers from inside. The architect smiles, reaching over to wrap his arm around the shorter man and pressed a kiss on the side of his head.
"I promise you I'll treat you to better food next time. I can make dumplings... Or wonton soup... Or mapo tofu if you want spicy?"
He snorted and pushed him away, heading down the hallway as Norton whined behind him, following behind like a puppy wanting attention. And for just a moment, he'd forgotten.
They cooked together, but it was mostly just Norton using the utensils. Naib was only allowed to help here and there, simply because of his exhaustion. It would be dangerous for him to use the knives. But that was fine, Norton would just allow him to help with watching the timer, making sure the fish didn't overcook. He watched as Norton cut up the bits of green onions and ginger, then pour in some cooking wine and soy sauce to flavour the fish with. It started to smell really good after a few minutes, and Naib could feel his mouth water.
He took the initiative to grab bowls and utensils, chopsticks for Norton and a fork for himself. He never really figured out how those things worked.
The detective walked over to the cupboards that kept the plates and bowls, opening it to grab two bowls to put on the table, and then turning around to grab two cups on the shelf above for tea. As he closed the cupboard door he turned around and dropped the cups from his hand, the china shattering on the ground near his feet.
The thing was here again. Watching, staring, it's lightless eyes staring into his, taunting him.
"Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?"
Norton appeared right next to him and grabbed his hands, inspecting them to make sure he wasn't cut by the broken pieces. He looked down and sighed in relief when the shattered pieces were nowhere near the detective's feet, which were protected by the thick blue slippers. Naib realized his hands were shaking.
"Y-yeah I'm fine, sorry..." He mumbles, shaking his head as the architect guides him over to the dining table, making him take a seat so he wouldn't actually injure himself next time. The monster giggles behind its hand.
"Don't apologize, angel, I'm just glad you're not hurt..." Norton sighs and presses yet another kiss to his head. Naib feels awful.
"How about I finish cooking for the rest of today, hm? Stay here and rest. It's almost done anyway."
He was useless once more. But he simply had no energy to argue back, and just nodded, placing his head in his hands as Norton went back to the kitchen.
"As usual, you can't do anything." The creature laughs, walking over to whisper in his ear, and Naib feels the room grow colder once more. His heart begins to beat faster, cold sweat forming on his forehead and the back of his neck. He hated this.
"He's gonna leave you."
No... He wouldn't. He's not like that.
"He'll get fed up with your stupidity, your incompetence, and your stubbornness. Nobody likes a negative and stubborn man, you know."
Shut up.
"He'll come back and he'll tell you he's tired of you. He'll tell you he can't deal with your weak minded foolishness—"
Shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT UP-
"Food's ready!" The monster disappeared the moment Norton returned with the dish in hand, placing it on the wooden, fish shaped trivet that he'd put on the table at some point in time.
"You're probably starving. Come on, eat up."
When he is seated, he gestures for Naib to start eating. The detective picks up his fork, unsure of how to start. Normally he'd be inhaling food by now, after all, Norton is a wonderful cook. But he... Didn't feel hungry.
"Don't be so ungrateful." The monster snarls, now standing in the corner behind Norton, the black goo that was dripping out of its eyes and mouth staining the carpet below it.
"Eat."
He reached over to pick off a piece of the fish and eat with a spoonful of rice. It was good. Of course, anything Norton cooks is delicious. He takes another bite. But this time, he chokes, spitting the food out. Norton was next to him again, fretting over him as he choked. God he was pathetic.
"Naib... Don't force yourself to eat if you can't. Here." He produced a glass of water, and Naib downs it gratefully.
"I'm sorry." He mumbles, again, and the creature scoffs in disgust. Norton can't see it, though.
"Don't apologize, love. Come on, let's clean up and just go to sleep, hm?"
"But—"
"We can finish tomorrow."
"... Okay."
He insisted on cleaning up though. They managed to put the food inside the fridge, alongside the rice. Naib washed the bowls and spoons (against the protests of Norton), and this time, nothing broke. Norton snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist as he was washing, sighing as he buries his face in his shoulder.
"We haven't been around each other lately." The architect mumbles, and Naib's hands stop for a moment before continuing to scrub the dish.
"I miss you."
The detective places the final dish into the dishrack to dry, and sighed as he dried off the water from his hands with the towel that hung over the side of the sink. Norton hasn't let him go yet.
"I've been busy." Naib replies, resting his hands on Norton's, and the other man lifts his head up to kiss his cheek.
"We can spend time together during your vacation, right?"
It takes him a moment to reply.
"Y... Yeah, we can. You're right."
It has been a long while since he'd been off work after all. A bit... Too long. Hmm.
"Mhm. Now come on, you should go take a shower before bed."
The detective hummed in response, not having enough energy to say any words anymore. The two made their way up the stairs, Norton sending Naib into the bath to shower first, taking his own time to prepare the bed. As the Nepali stripped off his clothes, turning on the water, and watching the steam fog up the mirror. He placed his clothes on the counter of the sink, leaving it there to bring to the laundry basket later. Naib reaches up to wipe off the steam on the mirror and sees his own, tired face reflected on the surface.
His dark circles and sunken eyes were still prevalent, skin sickly pale from lack of sunshine, and lips chapped from being bitten and dry.
Still looked like shit.
As he takes his place under the showerhead and allows the hot water to run down his face and chest, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair. That felt good. Shampoo, conditioner.... It felt like the water was relaxing his muscles. How long had he gone without showering properly? Forever. He opens his eyes and stares at the water running down his body and into the drain. Dark strands of hair covered the ground for a moment before washing down. He'd help Norton take it out when he was awake enough.
He realized he may have stayed inside for a bit too long, so he turned off the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist and used another, smaller one to dry his hair. Naib stepped out of the shower, sliding the glass door back in place as he turned back around to face the sink.
The mirror had fogged up again.
Well, might as well wipe it off again. He reached up with a hand to wipe, but was startled at the reflection. It wasn't his face. It was the monster's face. It laughed and made faces at him, mocking him for feeling safe.
"He'll leave you. Just like everyone else."
No, no no he wouldn't, and nobody else would, because he was—
Was he happy?
Naib steps back, not noticing the plastic bottle on the ground, his foot slipping on it and sending him crashing to the floor with a loud yelp, hitting his elbow on the ground and his head on the metal bar that held the towels behind him. That fucking hurts.
The door opens quickly, and Norton steps inside to see what the commotion was, face filled with worry as he saw Naib curled up on the floor, hands on his throbbing head to quell the pain.
"Naib! Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?!" The architect kneels down to help him up, but Naib's legs feel like putty, he can't even get up.
And once he feels his partner's hands on him, he finally breaks down.
"Oh my god, how bad is it? You're not bleeding, that's good. Should I drive you to the hospital? Or maybe—"
"N-no! No, no hospital I- I'm fine, I-" The tears in his eyes fell down the side of his face, and only now does Norton realize the tears weren't from the pain of hitting his head and arm, but from something else. The bottle that he used to keep his emotions in check had overflowed.
"Love, tell me, what's wrong?" His voice drops to a gentle tone, using a hand to wipe away some of the tears on his face, but that just made the detective cry even more.
"I don't know what's wrong, Norton. I don't, I really don't. There's something wrong with me, its like I'm broken-"
"You are not broken."
"But I am! I know you tell me how pretty or strong I am but I'm not, I- I push people away, I leave people behind, I'm unpleasant-"
"You're anything *but* unpleasant. You're an amazing person who throws himself into danger to protect other people."
"I couldn't save Emma."
He let her burn.
"It wasn't your fault."
Yes it was.
"Everyone makes mistakes."
"But—"
"She died in that fire trying to save people. She died a hero. You two worked together to save a building of innocent lives— and you know she would have wanted you to be happy."
Did she?
"Am I happy?"
"Are you?"
The tears keep falling. He couldn't answer.
"I miss her."
"I do too."
He wasn't sure how long he had been crying, but he knew that Norton was there the whole time, with his arms wrapped around him. He wasn't sure if the monster was still there, staring at him. Perhaps it was laughing at him. Mocking him. Whispering into his ear. But he couldn't hear it.
He remembers when Norton helped him up and guided him to the bed, and letting him put on his pyjamas to tuck him into bed. It was like he was a child again, being pampered by his mother. A warm feeling blooms in his chest. He hears Norton shuffle in from the other side, turning off the bedside lamp, plunging them into darkness. He was still scared— scared of the monster from his dreams. But Norton was here, like his nightlight. His dream soldier. His protector.
Norton's arms reach around him and pull him close to his chest, one of his hands running through his scalp and humming a soft and gentle tune to lull him to sleep. A kiss on his hair, and a hand rubbing circles into his back.
It was moments like this that Naib thinks he understands what happiness is.
"Norton.."
"Mhm?"
"I think... I am happy. With you."
Tonight, the monster is silent.