Archive of Our Own

Lucy walked away from Whistler with a sense of closure. The apology was everything that she needed.

She had waited for Whistler to get there on her own but realised that she had to meet her somewhere along the path.

After weeks of frustration, she had concluded that she had set unrealistic expectations. It wasn't that they were too high, Whistler had a knack for outperforming on any task asked of her. Lucy had expected her to meet her mark without giving her any clues as to where.

As they stewed in the car after Tennent had tasked them together, there was a powder keg of emotions and tension, both of them were exhausted. Lucy laid it all out, everything that she needed. Something so simple, yet so hard.

This time that they spent together, the elevator, the car, the awkward office interactions, were all Whistler shooting blindfolded and Lucy getting frustrated that she kept missing. She knew that Whistler would keep trying. Of course she would, even a broken clock is right twice a day. But they were both hurting and all it took was for Lucy to set her sight in the right direction.

And Whistler fired.

Bullseye.

It was exactly everything that Lucy needed to hear for her heart to mend. To put it behind her.

The hug was a sigh of relief but her body now still tingled from the familiar warmth. She kept walking, fighting the urge to continue what her body craved. They needed to cool, her tears still left salt trails into the open wound and time was the only thing that would cleanse her.

Lucy still longed for her, every moment of every day. Her first waking thought was disappointment as she lay in her bed alone. Coming home to a dark and empty apartment, was once a reprieve from the stimulation and adrenaline of the day but now it was just lonely. Some nights she would fall asleep on the couch so that she didn't have to lie in an empty bit bed.

Tonight as she stood in the empty elevator she closed her eyes and smiled. She saw how much Whistler was willing to fight for her. How she never gave up. She saw love and devotion, and she saw a glimpse of hope.
The hope that her love wasn’t unrequited, her hope that she hadn't thrown herself into another relationship and read it wrong, the hope that there may be a future.

For now though, friends. Getting to know one another. Every house needs to be built on solid foundations and theirs wasn’t. It was passionate and fast, and they didn't take the time to nurture each other and what they had.

Tennant caught her crying in her car one evening after work and gave her the tough love she needed.

'How can you trust someone when you don't even know them?'

'I thought I knew her.' Lucy sat in the drivers’ seat, both of them facing forward making it less intimidating but no less confronting to hear.

'You wanted to know her. You skipped the homework and went outside to play. How can you love someone when all that you know of them is that they're great at their job and in bed?'

Lucy had let her heart rule her head and Whistler was the opposite. Finding a way for their fire and passion to coexist with knowing and understanding would take time.

What do you expect when you run before you can crawl? And when you stumble, the fall is hard and the ground crumbles beneath you.

This time though, Lucy sat in her car after the apology with a sense of calm. No tears, no anxiety at the thought of going home alone. Just peace and hope.

Whistler watched her walk away without a second glance.

The hug was the forgiveness she needed from Lucy so that she could forgive herself. She had been so scared, fumbling in the dark and grasping at anything she could in the hope that it would lead her back to Lucy.

She was relieved when Lucy finally told her exactly what she needed. She would have kept on trying though. Initiating unwanted conversations in the office was painful but she kept at it, hoping that it would calm some tension between them. That finding some common ground to start from would allow her a brief moment to experience the light that would shine from Lucy every time she smiled, just one more time.

Reaching out to Lucy, to provide her some comfort resulted in her being shut down.
Each moment required Whistler to expose her vulnerabilities and each time she was burned.

She knew that Lucy was extraordinary and worth fighting for. And if it meant that she would strip herself of everything she had to prove to Lucy that she was sorry, she would do it. To show Lucy how much she loved her.

She was afraid to say she was sorry because it would mean the end. Closure. But if this is what Lucy wants then Whistler would give it to her. Whistler would give her everything she had and this, this would be everything.

She watched her walk away, her body craving more from the soothing hug. It dampened the final blow. If this was the end of their story, then it was a good way to go.

Recon the next day was unexpected for the team. The tension now gone between them, everyone sensed that something had changed for the better. Whistler had spent the night learning to accept what was now gone. She didn’t know how she would move on but she was the one who suggested that they work on a friendship so she happy that it appeared one was blossoming. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t hope it would progress to something more, but she didn’t allow herself to think too far ahead.

Lucy was so much lighter too. She had finally received the closure that she needed, and her healing had commenced.

She had taken in Tennant’s words. She knew that if there was going to be another house, that they needed to do the groundwork first.

There was banter, there was light-heartedness. No tensions unresolved between them. The others were suspicious of their interactions and questioned it among themselves.

Tennant had pulled the others aside telling them not to raise anything or interfere, so that's exactly what they did.

Weeks went by, soon turning into months. The team started to create opportunities to put the two of them together after their clear mutual pining became a daily occurrence.

Like that time in the bullpen when a new case came through and Tennant asked the two of them to go unofficially undercover in a joint operation. They were scoping out the operations of a drug kingpin, the second biggest on the island, suspected in infiltrating the naval base with dealers.

Sure, Ernie could have hacked into the security cameras and conducted surveillance from base. But no, Tennant insisted that Whistler and Lucy stage a date at one of the island’s most exclusive fine dining restaurants, Bernardino's, complete with a meal and wine. For "authenticity" Jesse had said.

They knew exactly what was happening and they went along with it, eyerolls included.

It didn't stop Lucy's jaw from dropping when she saw Whistler walk into the restaurant in a stunning black floor length dress, her hair flowing down one shoulder. Or Whistler’s heart from skipping a beat when Lucy locked eyes with her as she brought up her wine glass in salute, her face glowing by the soft candlelight.

The fact that the entire team were watching didn't stop them as they locked hands, thumbs absentmindedly traversing knuckles. Lucy had joked that it was for "authenticity". She lied.

To be honest, neither of them could care less about the case.

The embers inside Whistler were still burning and moments like this made her yearn for more, maybe another chance. Lucy knew what she wanted but knew that to rekindle anything now would be repeating history. She needed to give them time. Time for secrets to be uncovered, time for discovering.

Then there was the time when Tennant held a luau at her place. An innocent enough event with the usual crowd, except the commencement time Tennant told them was two hours earlier than everyone else. That meant alone time helping to prepare the food and an early start on drinks.

'Tennant is something isn't she? Not like her to get the time wrong so it can only mean that-'

'She's been busy I guess, maybe she forgot to say that she wanted help setting up?' Lucy always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was part of what Whistler found so endearing about her.

'Well, while we're here, let's toast.' Whistler held out a second flute of champagne, her eyes focused, her voice dropping. Her body was already warm from having helped herself to a glass as she finished preparing the chopped salad, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t fully in charge of her faculties.

Lucy stopped arranging the sweet bread rolls and turned to face Whistler who at that moment, froze.
'Sure, I'm down with that... Whistler?'
She didn't hand the glass over as she stopped in stunned silence. The sight of Lucy, her hair in the evening breeze against the backdrop of a Hawaiian sunset made her breathless.
'Whistler?' She snapped out or her reverie the second time Lucy said her name.

'Oh, um... Sorry... I just'- she was spurred on by the adrenaline coursing through her and some Dutch courage-' wow, you look really beautiful tonight, Lucy.'

She finally relinquished the glass, their hands touching lightly. Lucy was lost for words, a blush tinting her cheeks at the unexpectedly bold compliment. A smile and a glance was all she managed.

The night wore on and Lucy couldn’t help but feel the flutters low in her belly every time she caught Whistler’s eye. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t act on her impulses. It took every ounce of strength to look away as she chewed on her lips trying to control her breathing.

Whistler struggled too but she wanted to respect the space that was between them now. She felt that wasn’t her place to initiate anything, enjoying the ease that came with their interactions that dared traverse into casual flirting.

‘Lucy? Can you help me with the desserts please? Agent Tana!’ Tennent’s forceful approach necessary to distract Lucy from the obvious pining.

Lucy snapped back to reality and nodded Tennant, following her into the kitchen.

She handed Lucy the plates of cut fruit while she opened up a new bag of ice for the punch.

‘Lucy, what are you doing?’

Lucy crinkled her forehead in confusion. ‘Bringing out fruit like you asked…’

‘No, I mean with Whistler.’ She continued with the punch, pouring a bottle of lemonade into the bowl.

‘What?! Whistler? I don’t know…’ The look on Tennant’s face said it all. There was no point trying to hide it. She put the fruit down on the table in front of her and threw her hands up. ‘Ugh, this is really hard. I just want to kiss her so badly. But I’m trying to be good. Think with the head not the heart.’

‘Who gave you that terrible advice?’ It was Tennant’s turn to be confused.

‘I thought that you… that was what you said wasn’t it?’

‘I said that your heart and head have to work together. Don’t let one rule the other. Come on, do you really think I threw this party just because I want to feed the team? This is costing me a fortune!’

You mean this was just a set up to get us together?! Lucy put her hands on her hips, Whistler’s earlier suggestion was correct.

Tennant’s eyes widened as if to say, ‘What do you think?!’

‘I can’t, I promised myself that I would get to know her before I even entertained the thought of starting something again.’

Tennent finished with the punch and placed the plates of fruit back into Lucy’s hands. ‘…and I’m sure she feels the same thing too. But seeing the both of you over the last few months has actually been painful. It’s becoming a distraction for the team so please don’t think this is my way matchmaking, this is purely an exercise to keep the team focused on the job and not your extra-curricular activities.’

Lucy knew the sly look in her boss’ eye meant that she wasn’t being entirely genuine. The softness of her face said as much too. Lucy was grateful to have someone like Tennant in her corner.

‘You know, who’s to say you can’t grow together? Don’t be so hard on yourself. Or her for that matter. Just don’t put any expectations on each other and acknowledge the relationship for what it is. New.’ Tennant picked up the bowl of punch, noticing that Lucy wasn’t even looking at her.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t hear Tennant. It wasn’t that she was being rude in not responding.

From the kitchen window, all she saw was Whistler standing in the moonlight laughing at something Jesse must have just said. She couldn’t hear any of it, but her beauty in the moonlight took her breath away.

It was a week later after the luau and Lucy was working back late one evening. The case was new but taking its toll and the team were working hard to get on top of it.

Whistler rushed into the office hoping that there was someone still working after hours. She had just discovered the cypher that the team required to uncover the clue to the murderer’s hideout, it was the final clue in the twisted cat and mouse game being played.

She was disappointed to see the lights out but as she walked out of the elevator past the empty desks, she saw that Lucy was just packing up. She stood straight up, adjusting her black pantsuit out of habit, smoothing down her crisp white shirt, before making her presence known.

‘Hey, Lucy… is Tennant still here?’

Lucy had just stood and was reaching for her backpack. ‘Whistler, hey, sorry no... she left about 45 minutes ago. Is… everything ok?’

‘No, I mean yes everything is fine but I just cracked the code... Lucy, we have to get everyone together now, we could locate Hugo Tyler tonight.’

Her backpack abandoned, Lucy moved around her desk so she was standing in front of Whistler, her eyes wide and mouth open in surprise. ‘What?! Oh my God... ok, get Tennant on the phone, I’ll text the others, we can all connect in a few minutes.’

Whistler nodded agreeing with the action but then noticed that Lucy was still standing in front her, looking at her as she paused her haste. Her features softened as a soft smile appeared and she looked at Whistler in awe. ‘I can’t believe you did that…’

Lucy caught her hand and their eyes met. ‘You’re... you’re amazing.’

Whistler looked away, a blush gracing her cheeks at the compliment. ‘It was nothing…I loved puzzles as a kid and I-’

She was cut off by Lucy pulling her in for a kiss. It was fevered and impulsive at first but then eased to a gentle touch as they pulled apart enough to look into each other’s eyes, both in shock but neither of them wanting it to end. They both leaned again, this time the kiss was soft and chaste, neither of them daring to deepen it lest the fragility of the moment rupture.

Lucy pulled away, leaving Whistler standing there with her eyes closed.

‘We should probably…’ Lucy couldn’t help but smile at Whistler, her eyes still closed, holding Lucy’s hand against her chest. Her eyes fluttered open and she remembered the task at hand. She cleared her throat and let go, taking a step back to create space between them.

‘We should call the others, let them know.’

‘Yeah… we should… do that.’

The video call was brief as Whistler filled the team in on what she discovered and their next possible move.

Tennent was impressed with the Whistler’s work. It wasn’t lost on the team how Lucy stood back and looked on proudly.

‘I’ll let the Bureau know for back up on this one.’ Whistler was all business, oblivious to Lucy’s glances.

‘That’s great work Whistler.’ That was the second time Tennant gave her a compliment. It was like getting struck by lightning twice. She couldn’t’ help but look away bashful, not used to receiving praise.

For a moment, Lucy forgot that they were on a conference call and reached up to cup Whistlers face and she smiled back awkwardly. Tennant cocked an eyebrow and continued.

‘Team, cancel your evening viewing, regroup back on base in 20… make that 30.’ The rest of the team smirked, and the two women knew that their small moment had been caught.

Lucy pressed the button on the remote to turn the screen off and turned towards Whistler.

‘So… I guess we should talk about-’

‘We don’t have to if you’re not ready.’

‘I am. I mean… I want to. But only if you are…’

‘You are? But I hurt you Lucy, and…’

‘Kate, you were hurting too. These past few months after you apologised, it’s been really hard to deny how I feel about you. And if I’ve read this right, I think your feelings for me are still there.’

‘I never stopped having feelings for you.’

Lucy took a step closer on Whistler’s admission. They could feel the each other’s heartbeats resonating in the empty office.

‘I want to get to know you, no googling, no reading of files, I want to get to know everything about the beautiful woman that is standing here in front of me. No secrets. I want to take it one step at a time, but I want to do all of this together, I want there to be an “us”. Ok?’

‘Yes… Lucy, yes. More than ok.’ She surged forward closing the gap between them, the kiss this time was passionate. Lucy’s hands reached up to cradle Whistler’s cheeks, holding her as if she was the most precious thing. Whistler wrapped her arms around Lucy’s middle and lifted her up and catching Lucy by surprise. A small laugh from Whistler rang out as Lucy squeaked, the air being taken from her lungs, she wasn’t sure if it was the kiss or the lift. She let her down gently, still holding her close, both women unable to look away.

A cough echoed loudly interrupting the moment. They both looked up and around the office but neither let go of each other. Not seeing anyone, they became suspicious until it clicked.

Lucy realised that she had turned the screen on but left the camera running. Pressing the button on the remote again to confirm her suspicions, she was greeted by the familiar little windows with all of her team still present.

The hooting and cheers commenced, both women suitably embarrassed but not ashamed.

‘About time!’ Ernie was starting to ping their phones with screenshots that he captured of them.

‘Yeah, anymore and we were going to have to sign off, we weren’t sure how long it would take you to realise we were still here.’ Kai held up his mug to toast them.

‘Sorry for the interruption ladies but I thought I would stop you before it went places…’ Tennant joined in with her half glass of wine.

‘You guys could have just disconnected, pervs!’ Lucy slapped the screen know that all they would see is the shaking of the screen.

‘And miss the great reunion?!’ Jessie chimed in, his happiness for the women was also clear. Whistler just put her arm around Lucy, bringing her in for a side hug as Lucy wrapped her arms around her middle.

‘Alright alright, we really do have a case to solve here, and you two really do have 30 minutes to do whatever it is you need to do before we’re in the office. Got it?’ Tennant tried her best to look fierce, but she couldn’t hide the smile from her eyes.

‘Yes boss.’

‘Now, I suggest you turn the entire system off and find a nice private location. I heard elevators are good for that kind thing.’

Lucy did as Tennant suggested and powered down the connection. She held onto Whistler’s hand and guided her to her desk. Whistler leaned back against it, bringing them to the same eye level.

Lucy draped her hands around Whistler’s neck as she let herself be pulled closer.

‘Is this really happening?’ Whistler was still caught in disbelief, unable to comprehend anything that had just happened. Lucy stroked her cheek with her thumb, followed by a silent nod.

‘Luce…’

‘Slow, lets take it slow.’ It was Whistler’s turn to nod as their lips met again.

‘Should we’ -Whistler continued a trail of kisses down Lucy’s neck as she spoke- ‘Tennent’s suggestion…’

‘I hate that elevator.’ Whistler scrunched up her face in response.

‘Thank god, me too.’ They both burst out into laugher, a sigh of relief at all the uncomfortable moments shared within its confines.

‘No, no more elevators. No more secrets, no more hiding. I want to kiss you in the open, I want everyone to know that I have the most amazing woman kissing me back and I’m going to spend every second of every day making sure that I let her know just how amazing she is.’