Archive of Our Own

One of Asagiri Gen’s first memories were a magic show to which the children of his class were taken in kindergarten, recorded forever in his memory the different tricks performed by the traditionally Japanese characterized magician, the game with the fans, his mastery with the handkerchiefs, the gesture of amazement of the children when he separated the knot from a rope and put it back together. All that staging made his heart flutter in such a way that the teacher pointed to his red cheeks, in response Gen did not stop talking the rest of the day about the show.

Magic was his first love.

He started with the simplest tricks of the manual, such as bending spoons or the rubber pencil, his classmates used to laugh without more until he managed to disappear a coin perfectly; Ukyo’s astonished expression was so cute that Gen memorized it. Thus, the blond became his guinea pig when creating new tricks and almost by natural consequence also became his best friend.

He put so much effort into reading Ukyo that during elementary school it was enough to see him aout of the corner on the eye to guess his mood. Like when he told him the date of his birthday and he accepted it, however, his twisted lips revealed his reluctance to believe him. Or that afternoon, while they were returning home, he noticed him uncomfortable, he was listening with his super ear to some high school boys insulting and bothering one of their classmates.

Gen convinced his best friend to combine his super hearing with his skills in illusionism to help the poor kid. Needless to say, the first attempt ended with a beating of the miserable three, however, the future mentalist learned a couple of important lessons that day, such as gestures anticipating aggressiveness or the predisposition to follow a threatening leader regardless of whether the group agreed with him or not.

And most importantly, that day he learned the importance of small actions in individual perception, for be helped, his little classmate gathered the necessary courage to talk to his parents who decided that it would be best to change his school. Gen and Ukyo had a rough time with the high school boys for a couple of months until they finally came up with the perfect plan and between them two they got rid of the bullies.

During the high school years, they earned a reputation for having a relationship as the ones only seen in anime or sitcoms, they were so unlike that people wondered why exactly they were friends. Ukyo being the nice guy, of good grades and captain of the archery team, while Gen was famous for skipping classes, always getting an invitation to lunch and for going around trying magic tricks on random people.  Despite the perceptions of others, they were the perfect pair until they had to separate to follow their own paths, Saionji to the navy and Asagiri to the United States to perfect his act.

It took him a year to return to Japan with his perfectly planned character and the perfect to make him famous, he started with shows in seedy bars and went quick to his local television appearances, the trick was to know who to relate to.

Ryusui Nanami was a clear target from the start, the brat son of a filthy-rich family with connections in every field imaginable, from media to mining. As grew closer to him, he met his group of high school friends who one might think were there so that their leader and scientific genius, Senku, could squeeze every penny out of him, but they didn’t. Surprisingly, Ryusui’s exaggerated desires came from a fair ambition, he never took advantage of anyone and did not use his privileges to impose his will over others.

Somehow, he managed to genuinely grow fond of Ryusui, making him one of his closest friends. So much so that he sometimes gave in to cooperate in his extravagant plans, such as the one that would cause him more problems in the future: faking to have something with him to make him look more attractive in Tsukasa’s eyes.

It was a ridiculous plan, the professional wrestler would never fall into a trap as silly as that and even if he did, it would not get out of the way the elephant that represented his hatred for privileged capitalists as Ryusui; nor did Gen like the physical contact or the displays of love he professed when his poor object of interest was nearby. But the little dragon didn’t accept refusals to his plan and if that made him have the illusion of advances with Tsukasa, then it was fine; in addition, he always paid him back by bringing big fish or their children to his shows, from the perspective of both parties it became a win-win.

Ryusui was a free spirit, no one could control him and it was something that Gen appreciated in a person, because nothing stopped him from building a real race track or sneaking into Ukyo’s birthday party in a bar despite being underage. Nobody really cared as long as he did not drink alcohol, of course, being Ryusui he didn’t stop trying, but Gen skillfully changed his drinks or found a way to drink them himself, so the celebration soon escalated to see who drank more at the expense of the rich boy, whether the mentalist or the marine.

Predictably, Ukyo was the winner, or at least he was able to tell Ryusui’s driver his address, he still fell asleep in the yard, but that was already the least of it. Instead, no one could understand Gen’s words and he ended up spending the night at the Nanami mansion giggling, drunken babbling, reneging on his friend’s need to sleep naked and in the same bed.

That’s how, the next morning amid an ashamed escape from that place, Gen met who would be his second love.

At first sight Nanami Sai had everything he liked about a man, he was a little taller than him, with deep golden eyes and a certain mysterious beauty bestowed by his half-blood. It took him a while to recover from that first impression to ask for directions on how to get out of there with a nervous smile.

“This place is terrifying huge, luckily you showed up to rescue me,” he thanked as soon as they turned down a corridor.

“It’s normal actually, I’ve lived here since I was a child and sometimes I still discover new rooms in the house,” he tried to be cordial, but for Gen the discomfort hidden in his words did not go unnoticed.

After a brief talk, he gave him the impression of being a lonely person, the mentalist would dare even use the word sad. During his short life Gen learned that the cliché of rich families being absent and cold was mostly true, so Sai made him a bit curious; if he did not find happiness in all the material things of that mansion, then he must have a sensitive and simple soul, he could enjoy the little things in life or be intensely passionate about a specific one. Wanting to know more about him, the mentalist managed to return to the mansion repeatedly, get rid of Ryusui and sneak into the attic to keep the future programmer company.

And slowly fell in love with him.

His hunch about Sai’s character, as well as the nature of the Nanami, were accurate and Gen found himself wanting to help him overcome the pain that this caused him, starting with his dislike for his younger brother, after all Ryusui was the only one in that family truly interested in having a fraternal relationship, not only to take advantage of Sai’s abilities as it happened with the rest of the family members.

After such a silent and touching reconciliation between brothers, Sai’s mood seemed to improve… for a very short time. Yes, he spent more time with Ryusui, he began to get along better with his friends, even having his own initiative to meet those most related to his tastes such as Senku or Chrome, he smiled and talked more, but that was with everyone but him.

He found it so irritating, the Nanami’s older brother was the easiest person to read in the world, the mentalist had seen flashes of genuine romantic interest in him, he definitely did not imagine that attention to himself, the blushes, the smiles, even the occasional look with dilated pupils to his hands, lips or legs, that clear indication of sexual desire. From the guilty look on hist face after getting carried away in those displays of affection, Gen began to wonder if Sai would have any internalized prejudice against his sexuality or if it was something against him.

He shrugged off negative thoughts to put on his best smile as he sneaking through the back door of the Nanami mansion to the kitchen, where François and the cook began with the preparations for the meal, he greeted them with the familiarity of who passed by there at least once a week, making an excuse that they no longer even heard to go up and find his friend in the attic.

Poking his head through the door opening it slowly, he could see Sai focused on something in his laptop, his eyes fixed somewhere on the screen, his eyebrows straight and his fingers on his lips, pressing them without realizing it. Gen held back a sigh; it was unfair that he was so handsome being so smart.

“Good afternoon, Sai-chan,” he greeted waving a plastic bag in his right hand. “I have brought lunch.”

“Gen!” He snapped, closing his laptop immediately. “Good afternoon.”

“Were you doing something private? I can come back later,” he said naturally, after all, he showed up without any warning.

“No, no, no, I was checking… my final grades” even Suika would have discovered his lie, it was visible as touched his neck and looked away.

“So we’re already on those dates, will we have a big party once you already have your actuary title?”

“I’m not quite sure I want to celebrate something like that.”

“What do you say? There are many things to celebrate once you finish, you will not have to listen to teachers speak wonders about the Nanami family’s market decisions again, you also survived the internship with Yuna-chan and from what I know of her, it must have been quite a feat,” he explained, sitting with his legs together on the wooden beam that creaked silently under them handing him an egg salad sandwich from the combini.

“Yes, it was quite difficult,” he recalled in a low voice receiving the food.

“Besides,” Gen also gave him a can of melon soda, holding his hand for a few seconds longer than necessary under his friend’s. “Since your father’s last will for you was that you study to be an actuary and not to exercise it, you will finally be free to dedicate yourself to programming, Sai-chan.”

“Ah, yes,” he put his hands away with his favorite drink, visibly flushed.

Gen liked that, Sai’s sincerity, seeing him blush because of him and making him smile, just like he was doing at the time.

“I was thinking about that too, about my next step.”

“It’s just that someone so good at Smash Bros. should be a programmer,” he mocked, opening can of cola.

“I think next time you can beat me; you start to catch the trick on MewTwo.”

“That’s because you have consideration for me and you don’t use Peach, we stopped believing that Ryusui-chan was invincible when you used her to sweep the ground against him, those pink heels are dangerous.”

Something in Sai’s smile trembled at the mention of his younger brother, lately that happened more often, Gen couldn’t help but wonder if the blonde had done something to him. He looked down at his tonkatsu sandwich, he didn’t know why, but it always tasted better when he ate it with Sai.

“I’ve seen him preparing for the rematch with Ganondorf, maybe he’ll defeat me next time. Are not he at home today?”

Gen had no idea, he always went to visit him with the excuse of having something to do with Ryusui but deviating along the way to see how his favorite programmer was.

“Today I came to see you,” he ventured, but this time Sai did not react. “I wanted to know if you had anything in mind to celebrate your degree.”

“Maybe we should organize something ourselves before Ryusui does,” Sai reasoned, chewing his sandwich. “I wouldn’t want the huge birthday party to be repeated.”

“In Ryusui-chan’s defense, you were turning twenty, so he wanted to give you the opportunity to drink as much alcohol as you could. I admit the ferris wheel was excessive, but at least it was nice to get on it.”

Together. The missing word on died on Gen’s lips.

Despite his prohibition backed up with a threat on Ryusui not to play matchmaker with him and Sai, sometimes the younger brother would do that kind of thing, like renting a fucking Ferris wheel just to make them ride together so that they would have a romantic moment.

It would have been romantic if it weren’t for Sai being stiff the whole trip, his eyes fixed on the window and his fists clenched on his knees. The experience must have made him so uncomfortable that he didn’t see him again for the rest of the night.  Well done, Ryusui.

“I didn’t drink anything that day, so I don’t want to give him a second chance to put together something so over the top,” he sighed. He turned his eyes as if trying to find the most appropriate way to say something, for which he cleared his throat covering his mouth with a fist. “That reminds me, when is your birthday? We have never celebrated.”

Oh, that. Gen already knew by heart the conversation about his birthday. He would say “it’s the first of April” and the person’s reaction would range from mistrust to mockery “April fools’ day?”, as long as it wasn’t like Kohaku who seemed offended, everything would be fine.

“It’s the first of April.”

“That’s in ten days. We should be planning a party for you” he hurried to say as soon as he finished his soda.

“Sai-chan,” he called, his eyebrows raised. “Do you know what is celebrated on the first of April?”

“April fools’ day? It suits you very well, you were born for your profession,” he said with a smile so big and sincere that Gen’s heart skipped a beat in his chest and started beating like crazy.

«Calm, calm, calm» he repeated to himself in vain. for his face felt warm.

“Ukyo-chan will have a few days off next week and promised to come to my birthday,” his voice was smooth enough to avoid revealing his raging heart. “Since we are the oldest in the group, the three of us could go to a bar”

“Sounds good,” Sai commented, his train of thought visible through his facial expressions, as they gradually lit up as they thought of a simple, adult outing, drinking with friends and little else.

Best of all, without Ryusui. It’s not that Sai hadn’t learned to love him, but his brother never ceased to be… himself; and it could become exhausting.

“Then, we’ll combine your graduation with my birthday and keep it simple. It’s a date, Sai-chan.”

“Date?!” He said immediately, flushed. “Oh, yes, an appointment, I’ll schedule it.”

The mentalist smiled.

“So, I think I should leave, as much as I enjoy our meetings here, I should go to a photo shoot.”

“Thank you very much for the lunch, Gen. I’ll take care of this,” he said, putting the cans into the same plastic bag where everything came from.

“It’s okay, I can take it out when I leave,” he offered, resting a hand on the wooden beam to support his weight and reach for the sandwich wraps.

The beam creaked, this time for real and gave in under Gen’s weight who barely managed to grab hold if Sai’s shoulder. The programmer’s reflexes were not the best, so when he felt the support of both about to collapse, he pulled Gen in an attempt to prevent him from falling, not seeing the angle correctly, so the mentalist slipped first, making a gran when he felt his back hit the ground in a fall of almost half a meter with Sai rolling on top of him by the inclined fulcrum.

“Ouch.”

“Ow.”

“Are you okay?” Sai asked, holding his weight in both hands on the sides of Gen’s face.

“Yeah, I didn’t hit my head. And you?”

“Nothing hit me at all, sorry, I didn’t see the angle of fall because of the position.”

“There’s no mathematically correct way to fall either” he said through a giggle.

“If I had pulled you any harder we would have fallen on top of me.”

“If you were stronger you wouldn’t be able to calculate those things in a second, have you ever seen Senku-chan and Chrome-chan trying to get their science toys into a car? Kohaku-chan could carry them both in her arms with those boxes without panting as much as them” He tried to downplay the matter, clearly comfortable in the position where they were in.

Sai also seemed to be for an moment, then realized the situation as he felt Gen’s right leg between his own and e reddened up to his ears. His immediate reaction was to jump away from there, but the mentalist stopped him.

“No! If you move suddenly it may hurt, I don’t know if the pressure prevents me from feel if it hits me seriously.”

“The-then I’ll do it slow.”

Gen wanted to laugh at the double meaning of the conversation, that was a situation worthy of a school romance anime. He barely refrained because he knew that would ruin the moment, where Sai was finally physically close to him, in a position where he could control whatever happened. He could not ask for a more favorable situation to give him a chance to take the first step.

The gray eyes focused their attention on Sai’s parted lips, slowly moving up to his amber eyes where he focused his attention, wishing with all his might that he would listen to his inner plea.

«Kiss me. Just kiss me».

He wasn't imagining things, Sai definitely leaned in a little, as focused on his lips as he did. Gen closed his eyes instinctively, anticipation even cut off his breath away letting him feel the other’s on his skin.

Then, without further ado, the Sai’s blush disappeared being replaced by the same expression of guilt that plagued him lately. He turned to see behind Gen how to hold on to a pillar to stand up without moving him at all in an attempt not to hurt him.

It didn’t matter, he could even kick him, and Gen wouldn’t have been as hurt as with the rejection.

“Let me help you,” Sai offered a hand to help him to get up.

“No, I’m fine.”

There was a terribly awkward silence between the two, so much so that gen’s hands brushed against his clothes as he dusted himself. He reproached himself for his almost abrasive refusal, Sai was in no way obliged to reciprocate his feelings.

Because Gen was afraid of being rejected definitively, of losing what they already had.

He looked at the little mess that was made as if it were a metaphor for their relationship, the dust raised and the trash of their lunch on the floor, they could not go on like this forever, somehow seeing destroyed the wooden beam where they always sat to talk or to be together even though each one went to his own thing seemed like a sign of the end of those moments between them and that hurt him greatly.

“I’ll send you the details of some interesting places we can go, it’s between you and me because Ukyo-chan will go wherever I drag him.”

“Yeah…”

“See you, Sai-chan.”

He waved goodbye by taking the plastic bag on his way out, feeling empty.

Blue Idol
@BlueIdolTV
This week’s special guest on Blue Idol is none other than Winner!!! Additionally we’ll have the debut on national TV of the mentalist Asagiri Gen, remember to tune in

Inner Circle Japan
@Inseojp
I’m so excited to see Winner in Japan!!!

Magic enthusiast
@9999Purple
I can't believe that Asagiri Gen is going to be on national TV
Yay~

Jinu lover
@Jinu1313
Eh? Who is Asagiri Gen?

Yoonie #1 fan
@mijinkoidol
I hope they sing "Empty"!

Sunny
@maruchansing
For those who doesn’t know who Asagiri Gen is
Video: [8 hand-only magic tricks]

Jinu lover
@Jinu1313
Is he a magician?

Bom
@dorararara_68426
He’s a scammer! A cheater and an opportunist!

I dont know if Im horny or sad anymore
@St0n3Fr33
I remember him! In the “Mental Battle” show against Shishio Tsukasa, he is the worst

The Big Me
@teatoast_
He became famous in “Mental Battle”, but I think his variety shows appearances are more interesting, he has a knack for magic.

Magic enthusiast
@9999Purple
I love his act of mentalism

Jinu lover
@Jinu1313
He’s also kind of cute, don’t you think?
[Attached photo]

Bom
@dorararara_68426
Yeah, REALLY cute
[Attached photo]

I dont know if Im horny or sad anymore
@St0n3Fr33
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Why did  he put on that face?

Daily Mino
@DailyMino6
No!
I don’t want someone like him to act with my boys
He’s going to take advantage of them!

Yoonie #1 fan
@mijinkoidol
They are so innocent, what is the TV station thinking about?       

With an annoyed sigh Nanami Sai left his cell phone on the pile of pants on the carpet in his room. The mentalist used to say “there is no more faithful follower than a hater” and he show them off as if it were a great achievement to have them.

In part he was right, after all, they inflated the number of visits and comments on those publications and that was what the producers were looking for, someone who would give people a topic to discuss while they saw their advertising; but he couldn’t disagree more with the public’s perception of Gen. Beneath all those layers of selfishness and superficiality put in there to create a character was the most gentle and empathetic person he has ever met.

Not for nothing did his younger brother, the most ambitious person in the world, have a relationship with him.

He grimaced as he realized how boring the black tie looked over with the black pants and jacket, rummaged his drawers wondering where so many ties came from if he didn’t actively go out to buy those clothes.

«What am I supposed to wear in a bar like that?» He wondered going back to his open laptop to see the photos of the accorded place again, maybe he could find out how those who went there dressed. Before he opened his mail, to see if the one he had been waiting for weeks had finally arrived.

“Sai!”

“Gah!” he screamed closing the laptop immediately.

One day Ryusui would learn to knock before entering his room, that was not the day.

“The Ki no Kuni II has finally arrived! Let’s play!” The blonde proclaimed waving the game box high, then he noticed the pile of clothes lying on the bed, desk and furniture. “Are you moving?”

“No!” He replied blushing. “I’m… I’m going out.”

“With Gen?” He asked immediately, genuinely surprised.

He looked around, that situation must be quite strange, he was acting strange. No one took five hours to get dressed to go out with his brother’s boyfriend.

Of course, no one should be in love with his younger brother’s boyfriend.

“Yes, do you dislike the idea?” He asked rather uncomfortably.

“No, why should I?”

He was right, Ryusui didn’t know about his feelings for Gen, he couldn’t know, it would hurt him.

“I’m not so sure about the outfit, with that tie it looks like you’re going to a job interview, where are you going?”

“To the ‘Memento Mori’ in Minato-ku.”

“Then you couldn’t be more wrong, start by taking off your tie and coat,” he mused, looking him up and down. “Better take everything off.”

“Uh!?”

“What time were will you meet?” He asked rummaging through the clothes.

“At eight o’clock,” replied without the slightest intention of obey to his unhinged younger brother.

“There is no time,” he clicked his tongue by taking off Sai’s jacket. “François, we need the best jeans possible.”

“The classic style of straight legs and half rise are the most appropriate for the master Sai’s body,” they answered, running a steam iron through the cloth.

“When did you arrive!?” He whined trying in vain to take away Ryusui’s restless hands taking off his shoes.

How good he was at undressing people, that thought make feel sick the stomach of the older brother.

“Will you choose a leather jacket master Ryusui?”

“No, I’m looking for a candid image,” he said, throwing his older brother onto the bed to put his jeans on, while looking at what François was ironing. “Excellent decision, that Issey Miyake in black corduroy over the black shirt gives the perfect image of sincere computer genius.”

“Wait! Wait! I can dress by myself!” He continued complaining.

“Okay, put your top while I find you a good watch. Do you have a Seiko?”

“Eh?”

“Casios are classics and go with your personality, but you need to have variety and something that says, ‘tonight I’m not the same as always’.”

“Eh!?”

Sai was so dizzy that Ryusui’s words began to lose meaning.

“I’ll lend you one.”

“Why!?” He asked even more nervous when saw hist younger brother leave the room.

“Master Sai, please allow me,” François gently pushed the programmer’s hands away, straightening his shirt collar and removing the wrinkles caused by bad dressing.

“Here you go,” Ryusui returned, putting a rather expensive-looking watch on his wrist. “Looking at it well, I think it goes more with you than with me, you should keep it.”

His first impulse was to be polite and thank him, but soon guilt washed over him.

“I can’t accept this,” he murmured.

“Consider it your graduation present.”

“No, I...”

“Master Sai, the car is waiting for you.”

“Eh?!”

“I took the liberty of asking one of the chauffeurs from the mansion to take you to the appointment.”

“Just go, I’m going to start the game without you,” he pushed him out of his own room.

“Huh, yes, thank you Ryusui, François,” he managed to say.

“I don’t want you to come back until tomorrow, have fun, you need it.”

Still confused he went downstairs cautiously, there the feeling of guilt soon dissipated in discomfort when he saw his older sister arriving at the mansion followed by his group of workers.

Nanami Yuna had all the looks of a dorama villain, a beautiful woman of traditional Japanese beauty, more like Sai than Ryusui with the exception of always being aligned, giving an image of control perfectly planned by her cold mentality.

“Good evening, sister,” he greeted with a slight bow, a gesture that would be more with a boss and less with a relative.

“Good evening, Sai,” she looked up and down and smiled. “Do you have a date?”

“I’m going to a friend’s birthday,” he replied insecurely.

“You look great, still lack, but you look more and more like the corporation’s future actuary.”

He felt uncomfortable with every word, since always, every time his sister spoke to him he felt much less a person and more an object, a tool of the corporation.

“You should ask Ryusui to do your outfit for the bimonthly corporate meeting in a fortnight, you will officially join once you have your degree.”

“Excuse me, a car is waiting for me,” he bow slightly again in front of the woman as he left.

The spotless black car made Sai more fuss, he knew that the color was for practicality and he was only letting himself be invaded by the discomfort of having interacted with Yuna, but as with her, he was concerned about the rectitude of every aspect of the company, its intention to erase the individuality of each worker; even the way to control him. His older sister seemed to guess his intention to run away one day and so she assigned a chauffeur to take him and from university, as if one day he was going to take a flight somewhere in the world instead of attending his classes.

He couldn’t say he hadn’t thought about it.

“Good evening, Mr. Sorata,” he greeted as entered into the car.

“Good evening, master Sai,” replied the man. “Where should I go?”

“I go to a bar in Minato-ku, the ‘Memento Mori’.”

“Understood.”

Sai sighed and lowered the windows to get some fresh air. As they entered into the streets of Minato City always illuminated despite the night and Tokyo Tower was glimpsed in the distance, he could not help but feel some nostalgia.

He stayed in Japan out of respect for the wishes of his deceased father and was always grateful for making that decision, because he loved Ryusui, his friends, and the video game culture the country possessed.

But, for a while now he began to believe that he was unable to stay in Japan.

Because while he was there, he would not be able to escape the yoke of the Nanami corporation and he could not imagine living a life where others decided for him. He was never going to be completely happy being a tool without more.

And, on the other hand, there was Gen.

His feelings were an unstoppable train in his mind and he couldn’t be at peace with his younger brother as long as he had them. Since the accident in the attic he could not be at peace when thinking about the mentalist and how he was about to get carried away. Sai was haunted by the memory of his flowery scent and his eyes glowing from an expectation that he wasn’t sure if it was a figment of his imagination or if Gen really wanted to be kissed by him.

It must have been his imagination, otherwise why else would Gen have become so uncomfortable as to refuse his help to get up?  He must have thought he was a horrible person for touching him like that despite being with his younger brother.  Still, why did he keep his invitation?

“We have arrived,” announced the driver, Sai paid attention to entrance of the bar where Asagiri was talking on the phone and felt a little scared.

Was that right?

“Thank you very much, Mr. Sorata,” he replied, getting out of the car, not entirely convinced.

“Do you want me to come back at a certain time or should I wait for your call?”

“I will go back on my own, you should go home.”

“Sounds good to me, have fun master Sai.”

He approached the bar down the street on the right, Gen being so focused on a phone call was not able to hear him approaching.

“I think you’ve confused things. (…) Really, Ukyo-chan, you’re confusing things,” he replied more seriously.

So was talking to Ukyo, his best friend who was supposed to meet them there. Trying to give them as much privacy as possible in the middle of that busy street, Sai leaned against the wall of the adjoining building and extracted his cell phone to entertain himself on twitter while Gen finished his call.

“I always make my dear Ryusui-chan happy, you have no idea what kind of things he asks me to do for him (…) I see you took pleasure in making fun of me, what are you guys up to?”

That seemed to be a quite private conversation, the kind of thing Sai never wanted to know in his life. Uncomfortable, he took a couple of steps to the left trying to get as far away as possible to avoid hearing another word.

“Let me guess, does Ryusui-chan thinks we’re going to escape to Las Vegas to get married?”

Sai froze in his place, he knew Ryusui well, he was one of those who if he fell completely in love he would want absolutely everything from that person, even his hand in marriage. But to hear that such plans were already running through his head was unusual.

And painful.

“Well, as a mentalist I’m going to do what suits me best, I'm going to please Ryusui-chan and not only will we elope to get married, we’ll be back in three years with two babies and a fat cat. (…) I’ve done it since we were kids, haven’t I? (…) Yes. Thank you Ukyo-chan,” he said in a pleasantly calm tone of voice.

Feeling his heart shattered, Sai looked down the street seriously considering leaving running into the same two cons that made him show up: first, he would never fool Gen with an excuse and second, it was his birthday celebration, he was not able to stood him up.

“Sai-chan!” He called approaching him, immediately noticing his compressed gesture. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, hum…” he turned to the street, hoping Gen wouldn’t see his face or guess the sadness in him. “Are we going to wait here?”

“No,” he sighed, following his gaze down the street, to the nearby buildings. “Ukyo-chan stood us up, he didn’t even tell me in advance that he wasn’t going be able to leave work, otherwise we would have chosen a less romantic place. If it’s just the two of us, it will look like a date.”

It was the worst possible scenario, he agreed to go there because Gen liked the idea of trying the house cocktails and as it would be three people Sai would not run any risk of deluding himself about what it would be like to have a date there with the mentalist, especially for the quite romantic atmosphere of the place, according to the photographs, the tables had wood and paper separations, decorations with natural plants and many small lights to achieve just enough of darkness and create the illusion of intimacy.

If it was almost impossible for him to resist kissing him when having him close in a dusty attic, he couldn’t imagine how to survive being with him in such a place drinking. He didn’t even know how much resistance he would have to alcohol, because had never tried it, not to mention how uncomfortable it would be to be alone after said incident.

“We could find a place at the bar,” he suggested, desperately trying to find a way out.

“Or we could do something else,” Gen replied. “The night is young and this city never sleeps, for sure we can find a lot of things to do.”

“Are you sure?”

“This is our night, Sai-chan. We are celebrating that I reached twenty-one without starving to death despite having clung to my dream of being a mentalist and that once you graduate you will be free from the promise to your father, you will do whatever you want with your life.”

The mere thought of being able to break free of that promise and go make his dreams come true brought a smile to his face.

Besides, it might be the last time he was with Gen that way.

“You are right.”

“Come on,” Gen replied with a beautiful smile full of joy. “What do you want to do first?”

“Um… shall we eat something?”

“We’re going to eat junk food because we are adults and we decide whether to eat healthily or not,” the mentalist mocked, indicating in which direction the adventure would begin.

It wasn’t exactly junk, but they found a ramen street stall that coincidentally also had cocktails and Gen couldn’t be happier. The cook had a cheerful personality, chatting animatedly with how many people came to eat, spreading good spirits to the mentalist who ended up doing tricks with a deck of cards that he drew from who-knows-where for those present, earning some free drinks and the payment of his account as much as that of his companion.

The sake was delicious on its own or in a cocktail and Sai was glad to discover it there.

Searching for what to do in the crowded streets was the most liberating experience he had lived up to that moment, enjoying walking aimlessly, paying attention to each local to discover businesses unimaginable for the Nanami until that moment, one completely caught his attention.

“Sai-chan?” Gen asked when he saw him stop on a street.

“I just realized I have never been to an arcade before”

“Impossible!”

“Well, I’ve always played hidden from my family and they control all my movements, it’s normal.”

“Come on,” Asagiri hurried into the place. “Let me impress you with my good aim in sniper games.”

It was very impressive, Gen smashed a game with a sniper weapon and others with zombies and handguns, then it was Sai’s turn to show off in different games on the individual machines placing in the top 10 of some highscore boards with the name “S41”. Without intending to, they spent just over three hours on the spot between racing games, combat (where despite Gen’s request not to let him win, he was not so rude against him either), musical and even claw machines.

He was finally able to enjoy the japanese video game culture that he knew so much about without really experiencing it and Sai absolutely love it, the people having fun, the audiovisual spectacle, all the work behind each game was amazing.

“I’m sure my controller is delayed, it’s impossible for you to defeat my entire team of strong warriors with that girl,” Gen reneged, looking at him sideways as he tried to strike a blow with Chris to Kula Diamond.

“We can change places,” he replied kindly covering himself.

“Ha!” He took advantage of Sai’s distraction to turn the joystick in u to the left twice, press A, C and his character become red with flames in his hands. “I think I did it wrong, shouldn’t he become Orochi?”

“You are close, you just have to press D, C, down, C and D, but if it hits after the time zone it will only give eight hits and cause approximately 55% damage, instead, if it crosses that zone it will give fifteen hits and cause approximately 65% damage,” he explained covering himself.

“Like that?” he asked making his character do a spin in the air.

“Ah, no, look,” he reached an arm around Gen to take both hands under his own. “The sequence must have the correct timing to work.”

With his hands he pressed the mentalist’s fingers on the buttons, executing the combo correctly, D, C, down, C and D. The boy became a muscular man with tattoos, rose in the sky and by raising a finger created a lightning bolt that wiped out Kula.

“Ah?”

Did he just defeat himself?

To his own bewilderment Gen began to laugh in a vibrant jolt, not bothering to cover his mouth to hide his teeth amid the laughter, completely amused by his achievement.

“I made you defeat yourself,” he noted and without further ado Sai started laughing too. “My mentalism is invincible.”

“Could you really do that combo on your own?” His voice was barely understandable among the rhyme of his own laughter.

“Of course not! But I’m still going to tell everyone that I defeated you.”

“No one would be surprised, you know my weaknesses better than anyone,” he admitted in a sigh, letting out the air left in his lungs.

He took another breath in an attempt to recompose himself, being so close he could distinguish aromatic woods under already usual flowery scent in Gen.

“Sai-chan, it’s not that I’m complaining,” he said in a low voice. “But we are in a public place.”

In a public place and he had his whole body pressed against Gen’s, almost crushing him against the arcade.

“Sai-chan? Sai-chan?”

They left the arcades to find a bar with pool tables because Gen was curious about the practical application of his knowledge in geometry. At first it took him a little time to learn how to use the pool cue but eventually he was able to use it to explain in his best teacher tone how with a single hit at the specific angle could maximize the number of points, even taking into account the random variable of the beginning. In less than half an hour they were thrown out of there with the excuse of being “cheating”, perhaps for the better, he did not recognize the mentalist’s concentrated gaze on his movements and worried that he would start betting with the people around.

They passed through a almost crowded street where some street shows were exhibited, there were some people who made human statues, a contortionist and a duet of singers in front of which they stopped.

“It’s quite sad that we are only three people listening to them,” Gen spoke quietly as he held a takoyaki against his lips.

“Yes, they have lovely voices,” he agreed, biting his taiyaki.

“Of course they have lovely voices, they’re idols.”

“And are they-!?” His shout was interrupted by Gen, who stuffed a takoyaki into his mouth.

“Tasty, right?”

“Yes…” He murmured, feeling a pleasant tingle from such an intimate gesture.

“They are idols, if you look behind us on the left there is a cameraman and they are very nervous, do you think that with that polished technique when singing they would not be used to doing it in public? They may sing on stage, but attracting the attention of an audience like this is terrifying.”

Sai glanced warily over his shoulder, yes, there was a cameraman there.

“Also, on Friday I’ll be on a program with them, I have watched videos of their group non-stop these days to analyze their reactions,” he whispered again.

So they were idols, no wonder the were so good looking. Once he paid attention to them, he noticed that they did indeed seem nervous, did not look at any specific point and constantly licked their lips, he recognized that feeling very well.

“More than a ring on a ring finger I chose a love hidden to the public gaze. Even if I show that I’m a strong woman, always in my heart I’m shaking of pain.”

“Oh no, we’re two sinners. But no, we can't separate. Oh yes, I want to be loved this way.”

“Oh no, loving you is not right. But no, don’t take me home tonight. Oh yes, so baby won't you hold me tight.”

Fearing the erotic path and the message that the song followed, Sai cleared his throat slightly. Those ideas were forbidden in his train of thought.

“We should go on.”

“Right, come on.”

“Where will we go now?”

Gen threw the garbage into a bin and thoughfully put a finger in his mouth.

“Excuse me, guys, are you alone?”

They both turned to the young woman who asked them, a blonde teenager dressed in very revealing clothes was approaching them carrying another girl by the arm.

“That depends, do you want to keep us company?” Gen replied in a singing voice and the blonde laughed.

“It also depends on whether you can do us a favor.”

Her suggestive voice made Sai feel uncomfortable, what kind of situation was that?

“I’m all ears.”

“My name is Emma and this is my friend Hina, we were on our way to a party where our friends are waiting for us with alcohol, but in the rush we forgot our IDs, do you think you can help us buy for us in that store?” She pointed to a place at the end of the street, away from the shows.

“But you won’t be trying to scam us, are you?” Gen asked, feigning innocence.

“Of course not, here we have the money,” the other girl opened her wallet to show off a lot of low-denomination bills.

“And you can come with us to the party,” Emma continued with the flirtation.

Even for Sai it was quite clear that their friends must be a group of kids in high school who cooperated with everything they could get out of their allowances at the end of the month and were dying to try alcohol.

They had chosen their victims poorly, even he wasn’t so naive and Gen was far above such cheap tricks.

“Yeah, come on, let’s buy the alcohol.”

“Eh?” Sai looked at his companion as if he had sprouted a second head.

“I knew that handsome guys are the nicest!” The blonde celebrated hanging on Sai’s arm making him blush immediately.

That couldn’t be happening to him. Not him, the introvert, the hopelessly shy one with problems with physical contact.

“Did they order any specific type of alcohol?” Gen asked, making Nanami believe that perhaps he drank too much at each of their stops.

“No, you seem to know a lot about it, whatever you choose will be fine.”

“If it’s a party, then the best thing is beer, don’t you think?”

“Yes!”

“So, Sai-chan, please buy a few Sapporo Premium, a six of Asahi Super Dry and if you find, some Orion Premium Draft,” Gen explained as Hina extended the wad of crumpled bills and a handful of coins.

“But…” Sai tried to reply without knowing where to start.

“Why does he have to go?” the blonde pouted.

“Because my dear friend Sai-chan is extremely good at math, he will get the most out of your money.”

“But Gen-“

“We are waiting for you, Sai-chan,” Gen interrupted him, looking directly into his eyes in a way that made him understand it was better to listen to him.

He had a plan, Sai just hoped it wouldn’t get them into more trouble.

Upon entering the store the programmer felt observed by the attentive eye of the cashier who alternated the view between looking at him and the girls chatting with loose laughter with Gen outside, very close to the door, as if she knew what they were up to. Obeying the mentalist’s instructions, he filled a basket with as much alcohol as he could, the accounts coming out almost natural so that not a penny was left over and went to the cash register where she checked his ID too cautiously.

When leaving the place the girls did not seem so animated, quite the opposite of Gen, much more amused.

“Sai-chan, I was just telling our new friends about your work on applying standardized tests to area high schools.”

“Uh?” Of course, he didn’t understand anything, but if the mentalist was up to something, it was best to keep up with him. “Ah, yes, standardized tests.”

“Speaking of which, don’t you think we should call your colleagues from Tendo school to invite them to the party?” Gen asked taking his phone, Hina hiccupped in with fear, and Emma took a step back.

“I didn’t imagine that you were the type who bring more people for free to a party to which you have barely been invited,” the blonde replied with annoyance.

"They won’t go for free, they have enough money to double the amount of booze, I heard that Onizuka-chan has been promoted to principal, right, Sai?”

“Yes, recently,” he tried to play along, not convincingly at all convinced. Luckily the girls were so nervous that they didn’t notice it.

“Is it possible that you are afraid of being recognized by your principal? He shouldn’t be too happy to find two of his soon-to-graduate students trying to trick adult men into getting booze.”

“Now you are trying to trick us into keeping the alcohol, how do we know that all those lies about knowing the principal of our school are true?"

Gen smiled with a malice that sent shivers down the spine of the three present, took out his cell phone and turned to show the girls the calculator while typing.

“Do you think that if Sai-chan wasn’t a mathematician he could do this operation? Sai-chan, how much is 13,848,299 times 25,896?”

“358,615,550,904,” he answered in a second, of course, surely the calculator would have beaten him doing the operation instantly.

“Ah!” Both girls gasped in surprise when they saw that the result on the cellphone screen was the same.

“Do you need help with something in your current homeworks and want to ask?  Some arithmetic? Trigosomething functions? He’s almost as good as a calculator but much more attractive.

«Gen should have a filter with that kind of things».

“Okay! You win,” Emma defended herself with her hands up. “Give us the alcohol and let’s finish this bussines.”

“Excuse me?” Gen looked confused.

“The alcohol, you bought it with our money,” Hina replied this time.

“The booze is to buy our silence.”

The blonde frowned, and the brown haired clenched her fists, as if they were measuring their chances.

“My boyfriend will find out about this and believe me, you don’t want any trouble with him.”

“I’m sure not,” Gen said, moving closer to them with an even more crooked smile. “But you seem to be smart girls, I think you understand the difference between how much damage a couple of fists can do and how much a person like me can achieve with your personal data, we talk for five minutes and I already know where you study, what year you go and what kind of things you are involved in, do you want to give me more time? Do you want me to investigate which police division Hina-chan’s father belongs to?”

“How do you know that my father is a policeman!” She yelled in fright.

“He’s lying, let’s go Hina,” she growled, pulling her friend by the arm.

They saw them get lost in the crowd before reacting, Sai exhaled in relief, and Gen let out a small chuckle before looking at the bag of drinks.

“You bought a lot! I knew you’d make the most of the money. Shall we split it?”

“I would like not to go back to the mansion with so much alcohol,” he admitted reluctant.

“Better for me! But please drink a Sapporo Premium with me, you must try it.”

“Of course,” he smiled.

“Let’s go then and let it be soon, the girls may be terrified, but I’m not so sure what the reaction of the guys in their group will be when they see them arrive without money and without alcohol,” he explained visibly nervous.

The programmer paled, sometimes he forgot that with Gen’s mentalism one could win and lose at the same time.

They took a taxi to the first park big and far enough to be able to spend the end of their night together. They sat in a step of the sandbox, there Gen handed him a bottle, the programmer did not know anything about beer, but that one was very good.

“Isn’t it illegal to drink this in public spaces?” Sai asked after his third sip.

“There is no one here and it’s to cleanse me of the good deed we have just done by preventing those minors from following this terrible path of alcoholism.”

“You robbed them,” Sai laughed slightly.

“It’s their fault for not watching more TV, if they knew who were they trying to scam then wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

“By the way, how did you know that one of them was the daughter of a policeman? Did she tell you?”

“No, it was a risky bet. When a policeman near us she got quite scared and looked at his face closely, no doubt she knows some cops, she also had a whistle” he paused for a drink.

He would never cease to be amazed at the things that Gen could deduce from simple observation, he made it look as if people were open books before him. Sai sometimes wondered how much he could see into his soul. Did he already know of his love for him? Of his plans for the future?

“Besides, Ukyo-chan and I studied at that school, only the children of people with positions in politics, government and even some children of scientists enter. That’s why I know the name of its new principal, he was our renegade literature teacher. He is very disciplined and young, but not so smart, he never found me a single cheat sheet” he took a sip and replied. “To be fair, the teachers only found me one in ten cheat sheets, I am very good at hiding things.”

“Did you graduate from such a school?” He asked genuinely surprised, only Gen could manage to do it in such a strict school by being a top notch cheater.

“I don’t know,” he laughed. “I had to do some extraordinary exams and I’m not so sure if my physics cheat sheet was correct, even to cheat you must have the right information, you know?”

His laughter was contagious, as much as the fun of the anecdote, Sai got carried away and let out a few loud laughs, feeling lighter.

“I only took those exams because I was still a minor, when you live with your parents you must do what they tell you. But I turned eighteen before graduation, so I never knew if I graduated too, because on the first of April at six in the morning I was already on a plane to the United States.”

“How...?” Sai cleared his throat. “How did you do that? Did you have family or friends there?”

“No, not at all. I couldn’t even speak English well at that moment.”

“So how did you do it?”

“I wanted to learn magic more than doing anything else in the world, I was determined to be a mentalist and I started saving from the age of fifteen, I used the money from my allowances, from some shows at children’s parties, I also learned the subtle art of having people invite me to eat or do my homework. I was able to support myself in the US a few months with that money, there I worked in cafes and fast food restaurants before starting to get to be an assistant to some famous magicians.”

“You were completely determined to make your dream come true,” he understood stirred, it was an amazing story.

Behind that disguise of liar and scammer an amazing person was hidden, Sai felt his heart beating with emotion, as if knowing that Gen managed to make everything he wanted made him capable of doing it too.

“I still have a lot to work for. To begin with, I must find a better manager; the book sold well, but it still seems like a dud to me and you should see the room where I live now, the bed touches all four walls.”

The two laughed heartily, Gen even choked a little and began to cough, earning a pat on the back from his date.

“Despite that, it must be worth it.”

“It does, I’m very happy now.”

That somehow also made Sai immensely happy.

He took a good sip of his beer feeling satisfied, sometimes he was fine with being like this, just the two of them, chatting like good friends who could trust each other.

“I will always be grateful for you helping me understand Ryusui,” he explained honestly. “So for a while I wondered if I might be misinterpreting other members of my family as well and tried to give them a chance, some like my uncle are only very strict because they were raised like that and others like Yuna, well…”

“Is she your big sister?”

“Yes, she is the daughter of the matriarch of the family. I thought that if I got closer to her we could have at least a cordial relationship,” he remembered bitterly, shaking the almost empty bottle. “But it is absolutely impossible, not only does she see me as a tool, but someone inferior. I should have understood it because even Ryusui has tried to keep her away and François limits his contact with her.”

Gen remained in respectful silence, listening carefully.

“Video games have always been my escape route, since I was a child I could only hide from private math classes to play, they helped me a lot in bad times, so all I want to do is code.”

“Is that the next step you were talking about a few days ago?” He asked, opening another bottle.

“Yes, I want to study codding and I thought maybe I should do it elsewhere to distance myself from the rest of my family while I do my degree. At first I was afraid, I still am, but I think I can follow your example and try my luck, make my way for myself.”

Gen outlined a sad smile, Sai never remembered seeing a gesture like that in him, quicky erased by a more animated one.

“You could be a good math teacher, make the façade I invented a reality and so I won’t look bad with the girls if I find them again one day.”

“That could pay the bills.”

“It makes me very happy to see you so motivated,” Gen conceded before leaning his head against Sai’s shoulder, making him straighten up a bit. “It’s a shame I’m going to miss you so much.”

So, without further ado, with such a simple gesture Gen threw overboard the quiet resignation of staying as friends just to give him hope again, to make him wish with all his strength to have something more with him. Maybe it was alcohol or maybe the long struggle against his feelings during those years, but at that moment Sai was tired of holding back, he left his mind blank and reciprocated the gesture by resting his face on the mentalist’s head, worshipping his scent of flowers.

“I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered.

“Then take me with you,” he asked.

«Could I really do that?»

Surprised, Sai turned away from him to get a better look at his face. Gen had a calm, almost shy smile.

«Kiss him».

Thought in his head passed before he could fully understand it and Sai already had his left hand near Gen’s face, he paused to search in his cloudy mind and this only asked him to feel the soft skin of those cheeks with his fingers, yes, it was such a warm and pleasant feeling. At no point did Gen look away from his, expectant of his next move.

«Kiss him».

It went through his mind again, and without any control he took Gen’s face with both hands applying perhaps more strengt than necessary, to finally, after so many years…

“No…” Sai whispered with his eyes fixed on the wristwatch Ryusui had given him just a few hours ago.

“Sai?” Gen asked, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and pleading so transparent, as if yelling at him for an answer.

By saying his name without the honorific, it was as if he did.

“No.”

Just no.

He wasn’t going to steal his beloved from the only person in his family who loved him. He couldn’t betray Ryusui like way. He wasn’t going to take advantage of Gen in that state either, they were drinking all night and he surely wasn’t entirely lucid.

“You have very beautiful eyes, I had never seen them up close,” was the first thing that crossed his mind to justify having taken it that way. Normally Gen would see through that lie, but in that state, maybe he could fool him.

“Your eyes are so much prettier,” he teased in a groaned voice, he cleared it and turned to take his bottle and drank to the bottom.

That was for the best thing, even if it didn’t seem like it, even if it didn’t feel that way.

“Let’s go back,” Sai asked, suddenly exhausted from the day’s rollercoaster of events and emotions.

“Yes. Let’s go back.”

Part of what it meant to be an adult who worked hard to fulfill his dream was to have to continue despite his mood and if Gen could boast of anything, it was to be a professional regardless of whether the day before he had his heart broken or not.

It was so difficult.

Instead of being in the studio ready for a live broadcast, the mentalist only wanted to be in his apartment, put himself to the point of an ethyl coma with the rest of his alcohol loot and cry while watching a dorama feeling some empathy for the innocent protagonist on duty who, due the universe/script will was involved in a back-and-fort romance of with an attractive wealthy man.

It was just a touch of empathy, Asagiri Gen was anything but an innocent girl. Perhaps that’s why his dorama heartthrob refused so stubbornly to make the first move.

“Why? Why you can’t?” he was about to ask that night, to Sai who resisted with all his strength to kiss him. But seeing that face of such a refusal he could never ask anything, because he feared the answer to the next logical question: “What is wrong with me?”

Gen was a coward, he knew himself well, so he was sure of it. That’s why he didn’t have the courage to face Sai and listen with his words why he couldn’t be loved by him.

He had enough of being rejected twice, thank you very much.

“Five minutes,” the director announced.

Responding to the call approached to the set’s entrance the group of five boys who were willing to be victims of his mentalism during the program that day, Gen recognized any idol regardless of their country of origin a kilometer away because he genuinely liked what they were, a combination of passionate hard work with the most perfect mental manipulation.

“Good afternoon, you are Gen Asagiri, right?” Yoon, the group leader spoke, he and his partners greeted with a slight bow.

«They look inexperienced, but at least they seem confident, it’s totally different from the nervous boys who were singing on the street the day before yesterday. It is not the same to be in a controlled TV show to a street where they must attract the attention of people who do not you him and will surely judge you» Gen analyzed focusing his attention on the two main vocalists.

“Good afternoon!” He greeted in the same way, getting in character. “That’s what they call me. As a big fan of yours I’m happy to see you recognize me.”

“I saw you in ‘Mental Battle’ on TV when we arrived in Japan a week ago,” said one of the rappers, Hoony, who always used to have a smile on his face. “How could you guess that skater’s cards? It never seemed to me that he was lying.”

Gen remembered it and certainly, the boy did his best to mask his lies, but a small tremor in his eyes always tell the true. He also kept cheating from time to time because he couldn’t spend too much time investigating every guest of the shows he was on.

“I didn’t guess them, I cheated.”

Sometimes that job was so easy, he paid full attention to the surprised faces of the boys memorizing their expressions.

“Really?” Jinu took a step back, the pretty face of the group and by far the sincerest of the five.

“Yes, I can read minds, that should be considered cheating.”

“That’s a lie!” The leader of the group replied.

“Ah! You were testing us, right?” Understood Hoony, who apparently paid enough attention to the show.

“No, I can really read minds,” Gen insisted in a more joking tone.

“It will be fun to work with you,” admitted the other rapper, Mino, in amazement.

“I say the same thing.”

“Be ready! We will be on air in five, four, three, two.”

The scheme of the show was simple, two hosts interviewed the guests on duty, then they would move on to a game where he would make his debut on that show and finally the group would perform a musical number. While the interview was going on Gen took a moment to check his cellphone, Ryusui had sent him a photograph where his group of friends were laying everywhere in his room while, among them Sai chatted animatedly with Yuzuriha who had the book “Magic Psychology” in her hands.

The younger Nanami brother never played to lose, and he certainly played dirty by dressing Sai like that. When Gen saw him on the pool table, explaining something about angles that he wasn’t really listening to, looking so handsome and focused, it almost, almost made him throw away his conviction not to intervene in the process of accepting his feelings.

He focused back on his phone, that wasn’t the time to mix his memories with the desire to be under Sai on a pool table.

He vaguely got to see Ryusui’s response saying on something about how one could win and lose at the same time, all his attention was drawn to a message from Sai.

Gen sighed, sometimes he hated Sai, he hated how one day he made him feel rejected with no hope of having a relationship with him and the next one was the sweetest person in the world, interested in him and he was so attentive.

Above all, he sometimes looked at Gen as if he were the only person in the world.

He paid attention to the interactions of the group in the interview to identify what was cooking between them right at that moment. He had studied them enough to recognize the concern of his young leader to be accepted as such, the main vocal’s diva attitude and the concern of one of his rappers to be taken seriously.

“Jinu’s face is so beautiful that he has been considered the second best visual of his huge talent agency, do you want to be able to become the best visual?”

“Well, I wish I could be even more attractive,” he explained without feeling the least bit embarrased for the attention to his physical appearance.

Jinu was precisely the member of the group from whom Gen wanted to keep the most distance. Because he kept a secret that could only affect him if it was found.

“So if you could have a facial feature from one of your partners, what would it be?”

“I’d like to have Mino’s lips,” the idol replied too quickly.

Wrong, Gen lamented that he couldn’t find him before the show and tell him how he shouldn’t answer when the questions became too intimate.

“Wouldn’t you rather have Yoon’s lips?”

The host declared one of the correct answers in the eyes of the mentalist, since the aforementioned had thick lips perfectly defined and very attractive to the eye. But, of course, Jinu didn’t pay attention to them because he was in love with one of his partners and because of what their interactions were like, he was probably reciprocated.

It was common for male groups to do fanservice in order to win over the female audience, play flirting with each other and that kind of thing, but theirs seemed natural, during his investigation of the band, Gen he could guess certain typical gestures of people in love in them, how to pay much more attention than normal to when the other spoke, hugs for no reason, desire to do certain things together.

If he were someone else he would certainly diminish their guards by insinuating things about it, if that didn’t work he would go further, if they were playing a mental battle and there were no cameras, Gen would surely use it to break the boy’s concentration and make them vulnerable. But that would be a simple game in a variety show, it was better for the sons of a nation still quite closed to homosexuality not to force them to come out, much less among themselves because knowing the idol agencies, surely they had a clause about not having relationships with people in the company.

Once it was his turn to enter the scene, Gen greeted the hosts animatedly, thanked the TV station for giving the opportunity to that humble mentalist and asked viewers not to change the channel earning a couple of laughs. He explained what the rules of the game would be in the next segment, they would make a questions game during which the idols would be connected to polygraphs that no one on the set had access to, instead appeared as a circle on the viewer’s screen, green if they told the truth or red if they lied. With each question, the mentalist would have to guess if the answers to the questions were true or false, if he got it right they would give him a point, if they told the truth from the beginning they would also give them a point, however, if their lie went unnoticed they would give them two points and if they were discovered, then they would lose a point. In the end whoever had the most points could order the punishment of the loser and being that a Japanese show, with its respective dose of malice, Gen was not willing to accept a punishment for anybody.

During the commercial break they connected the boys to the polygraphs and Asagiri couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Jinu, who at times gave an occassional frightened look to his partner Mino, but he never returned any, as if something was not right between them. It was predictable after all, touring Japan, sharing hotel rooms, both happy to fulfill a dream come true and at the same time exhausted from work, something between them was going to snao while they were hooked up to a polygraph and he felt some responsibility to stop it.

It must have been because his sad eyes reminded him of Sai.

The things one did for love.

The first round was a piece of cake, control questions more than anything like “what’s your real name?”, “How old are you” or “How tall are you?”, before which jumped the first lie told by one of the rappers, mostly because he was not so sure, so Gen won his first point.

When they touched on embarrassing questions like “how often do you change your underwear?” or “Do you pose in front of the mirror?” Gen got to add a not inconsiderable thirteen points between laughs and some shouts or scolding more comical than anything else. Then jumped the first awkward question to Jinu “If you were a woman, who of the guys in the group would you date?”

“With Hoony, I’d like to be made to laugh.”

It was an obvious lie, whenever he lied he nervously licked his lips.

“It’s a lie,” Gen said, warning that if he was going to save him, it would be with worse.

“Why don’t you answer that question with the truth? Are you embarrassed to admit who you would date?” The male host asked, failing in his attempt to be funny.

“No one thinks about dating their bandmates, we know each other’s bad habits,” Yoon replied.

«He knows his secret». Gen understood, thanking not to be alone on covering the back of that fool.

The hosts’ questions were even more difficult and harsh with the poor boys. “Do you think you should be the leader?” “Do you think Mino is a fool?” and others especially worse with Jinu, such as Gen, the male host seemed to have done his homework or heard the rumor of his relationship with his groupmate and little by little he was insisting with questions related to girlfriends and his closeness to the other boys, making him feel much more nervous.

“This is unfair Shoya-chan!” Gen said to the presenter, tired of losing points for purposely failing against the now interrogated. “If you make Jinu-chan so nervous it’ll be hard for me to know if he’s telling lies.”

“But the fans are dying to know if their favorite idol is in love with some lucky woman.”

«So that’s why so much interest, because a woman in his life wants to know and he wants to expose him».

“It seems more like Shoya-chan is interested in Jinu-chan,” he scpffed, getting almost awkward laughs. “Jinu-chan can’t admit on live national TV that he likes a girl because it will break the hearts of his fans, although, if that woman is listening to him being asked more and more about his feelings being so close to her, even I would get nervous.”

When making the comment about a woman, inevitably the idol’s eyes went off on the one female host. She gasped in surprise, putting her hands over her mouth.

“No wonder you were so excited to come to this show! And you’ve listened to miss Mariya’s songs for weeks” the leader supported, elbowing Jinu.

At least one was getting the right signals, that should be enough for the audience. For a moment the mentalist almost sang victory.

“Mariya is really beautiful, her skin looks so bright and smooth, she also has very deep eyes,” the poor boy tried to support him in his lie, but Gen wanted to have the opportunity to scold him for being so vague about it.

There was useless to elaborate a lie if its components did not work.

“But Mino also has deep eyes,” said the male host, insistent on discovering the romance between the bandmates.

The boy had no choice, they were going to expose him on tv. Gen decided that if a truth was to be revealed at this time, it would be the least damaging.

“I have deep eyes too!” The mentalist joked. After receiving a few laughs from the audience, he stood up to receive all possible attention from both the cameras and the program participants “However, you are right with your suspicions about Jinu-chan, he has been hiding something.”

He approached at him winking with the eye out of camera range, to see if he understood that he should follow the game.

“Jinu-chan,” he called, sliding a hand gently down his cheek, lowering it to lift his chin to force him to stare into his eyes.

It was the same gesture that his other bandmate always had with him when doing fanservice, that must have altered him enough to drive to the polygraph crazy.

“Do you like me?” He asked with a wide smile.

“Ye-yes,” he supported the lie, surely confident that his heart was already coming out of his body and he would no move more the polygraph than already has.

It happened so much on stage that production did not even remember to put if Jinu lied in the backlights, more focused on the reactions of those present.

“I’m so sorry. Jinu-chan is overly attractive, but my heart already belongs to someone else.”

He said it to draw as much attention away from the poor idol as possible, then he realized that never had admited it out loud, it was just so natural.

Because it was true.

“Oh! Gen! Are you dating someone?” The host questioned excitedly, almost jumping out of her seat.

“I’m not the one you should ask the questions to,” he excused himself knowing that if he refused, they would insist more.

“You can’t leave us like this!” She squealed excitedly. “It’s your first time on national tv, I think it would be special for that person if you admitted your feelings on live.”

“It’s the perfect moment for a marriage proposal, who could refuse?”

Huge displays of affection could overwhelm shy people like Sai. But, maybe…

“We’re not dating, I just have feelings for one person who’s watching this,” he said without straining to control his crazed heart, ultimately, he wanted to be as honest as he could.

He had feelings for Nanami Sai, he liked to put it into words inside his mind. Despite not being able to say his name out loud, because he didn’t want to expose him to being recognized.

He loved him, he loved everything about him, his eyes with that golden glow, his beautiful skin, his sincere smile, his masculine features, his naivety, his passion for the things he liked, his hands and those small particularities of his that he already knew by heart as his ambidextrous, the way he held things against his lips or even the curve of his smile like a heart when he was too embarrassed,

And he was ready to face it, even if he ended up heartbroken in the process.

“With your mentalism you couldn’t have two boyfriends at the same time?” The male host insisted in a casual tone.

«What kind of things does this guy think homosexuals do?» Gen thought feeling uncomfortable.

“I’m not sure you’re my type, Shoya-chan,” he replied, getting more nervous laughs in return.

A signal from the director instructed them to resume the game to count the points. Despite having a winner and a loser, the participants were finally able to breathe easy.

Sai liked Ryusui’s group of friends who ended up joining him due the proximity with his younger brother, he enjoyed their journeys of scientific projects, videogame tournaments and supporting the broadcasts of tv shows where Gen came out.

He desired the mentalist’s success so bad that he put his shows on as many house televisions as were available and even streamed the online on as many devices as possible. Not only did he do it because he was in love with him, but because he really enjoyed his tv appearances, there was something wonderful about his magic made to see through the minds of his spectators, as well as something beautiful about his act of discovering people’s deepest secrets and the reasons behind their way of being, as if it were true magic despite carrying behind it a lot of preparation, observation and years of study.

Maybe that’s why even the biggest detractors of his act like Senku or Kohaku stayed to see it without saying a word, expectant despite how strange that specific show was going. Much of the blame for Gen’s stumbles was due to that annoying host who kept poking his foot in his nosy questions to one of the idols, as if being a public figure did not deserve to keep his personal relationships private.

Also, it seemed as if the mentalist was holding back something, as if he wanted to prevent something specific from happening.

“Mariya is really beautiful, her skin looks so bright and smooth, she also has very deep eyes.”

The idol’s excuse was so bad that even Chrome clicked his tongue whispering “he’s lying” despite all the polygraph alerts on the screen.

“But Mino also has deep eyes.”

Then everything seemed to click on those present, Ruri even let out a small “Oh!”. Everyone in the room had spent so much time with Gen that they immediately understood what was happening on screen: the idol was in love with his coworker.

“That mentalist is having a hard time trying to contain that guy, huh?” Senku said.

“Can’t he just tell him to leave the subject once and for all?” Kohaku asked, irritated.

“That would only prove him right,” François acknowledged.

“I have deep eyes too!” He complained dramatically, earning a few laughs from the audience. “However, you are right with your suspicions about Jinu-chan, he has been hiding something.”

“Then he just have to divert attention to something else, right?” Nikki asked.

“Anything better than a scandalous confession on a national network?” Ryusui continued snapping his fingers. “I desire to see what it will be.”

“Jinu-chan.”

The way Gen took Jinu’s face was almost scandalous, lifting it up in such a way that their faces were very close to each other, it was no surprise to anyone to see the idol’s polygraph go crazy with higher and higher spikes of cardiac activity. Nikki and Yuzuriha held their breath, too still in place, as if the kiss they expected was a shy bird that would fly at the first wrong move.

The mental image of Gen kissing someone else made a knot in Sai’s stomach, for which he immediately berated himself. He wasn’t the one to be jealous of his brother’s boyfriend.

Ryusui on the other hand seemed surprised, as soon as he felt his older brother's gaze on him he turned to smile at him, as if he trust that the feelings for him were strong and not even the social pressure of a public confession or the beauty of that young man would make him change.

“Do you like me?” He asked with a wide smile.

So he was going to turn the spotlight to him, Sai didn’t know if it was the right decision, but he appreciated his courage in doing so.

“Ye-yes.”

“I’m so sorry. Jinu-chan is overly attractive, but my heart already belongs to someone else.”

It was like bringing one of his most recurring nightmares into the real world, the one in which Sai, convinced that he had imagined the relationship between Gen and Ryusui all those years, finally declared his feelings to be rejected immediately.

"My heart already belongs to someone else."

It was repeated in his head, the voice of the Gen, of the true Gen in his five senses, telling him through a screen in front of the entire nation that he was already in love with someone else.

“Oh! Gen! Are you dating someone?”

“I’m not the one you should ask the questions to.”

“You can’t leave us like this!” She squealed excitedly. “It’s your first time on national tv, I think it would be special for that person if you admitted your feelings on live.”

Asagiri seemed to think about it for a moment.

“We’re not dating, I just have feelings for one person who’s watching this.”

The screen focused on that smile that Sai recognized perfectly, because he had engraved in his mind each one of them, the precious treasures in his mind as well as his knowledge about video games.  A small curvature in his lips, as well as an almost imperceptible shrinkage in himself.

Until that moment he thought he was the only person to see the precious shy gesture in Asagiri Gen, the famous mentalist of machiavellian nature. But he had revealed it to everyone for someone else.

He didn’t even dare to raise his face to see Ryusui’s expression, he couldn’t, Luckily, he received a notification from his phone and that gave him the guideline to leave the room.

As soon as he closed the door of his younger brother’s huge room, the boys looked at each other, listening distantly to the game on television starting over, with one of the idols blindfolded into a pool of balls, until finally Taiju dared to say something.

“I bet everything on what they confessed to, does it mean that I won?”

“No, the time limit is on April Fools’ Day,” Senku replied. “And that doesn’t count as a confession because he wasn’t direct about it, he might as well say it to divert attention.”

“Also, we still don’t know what happens from  now to the first, they could give us a surprise,” Ryusui hinted. “Although now that we are at this, if they elope to las Vegas instead of New Delhi, I’ll win because I’m the one who closest.”

“You won’t be cheating,” Tsukasa looked suspiciously at the blond.

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” he admitted, snapping his fingers. “Although you could keep an eye on me if you don’t trust me.”

Tsukasa’s expression of displeasure spoke for everyone on the spot.

“How could be a couple of brothers so different from each other,” Kohaku said, looking for the TV remote with his eyes.

Being in the privacy of his room, Sai was able to check his email. It was from Nanami University in Mumbai, giving his compressed heart a break.

Dear Sai Nanami.

We are pleased to inform you the acceptance of your application to the software and computer systems program at Nanami University for the class of 2020. You need to immediately contact…

He didn’t want to finish reading, already knowing the rest. It was the news he was waiting for, his long-awaited door to freedom, away from the Nanami family, from the pressures of being an actuary… of his unrequited love for Gen.

So why did he feel so empty?

Sai’s first impulse upon waking up on the first of April was to send a message to Gen for his birthday. That was what he wanted, at least to act like a good friend, but after that week it had become clear to him how impossible that was, he could never see the mentalist as just a friend, not as long as his feelings for him were so strong.

And that day he was determined to cut all his ties with that forbidden love.

He once again checked his belongings, the necessary clothes, a tailored suit only, all his gadgets, computer, money from his intership and nothing else.

Sai was ready, once he set foot outside that house there would be no turning back.

He went to Ryusui’s room and knoked twice. The surprise on the blonde’s face when he opened was a little funny, he turned his attention to his suitcase and smiled.

“Are you going on a trip? Could it be that to India?”

“How do you know?” He startled, taking a step back.

“Intuition,” he shrugged. “I’m so proud of you! For a moment I thought you would never dare to take the plunge.”

So he was referring to his decision to go to India to study software, apparently he had not been discreet enough on the subject.

“It will be a couple of years before I can return to Japan, that’s why I wanted to leave you my home consoles as a gift, I know you already have them, but the Xbox has some games that I’ve working on these years.”

His younger brother’s gesture trembled for a moment, changing to something more melancholic.

“I know you’ll do very well.”

“So do you.”

Ryusui came over to give him a comforting hug that made it worth all he was leaving behind. He was doing the right thing.

Gen did not like scandals, he considered them in off-color and more harmful than anything else, but he always knew that his career would take off with the first one he got involved in.

Since the incident with the idols, the job offers did not stop coming, some of live shows, appearances in other tv shows in better hours and even a reprint of his book with additional content that he was not so sure about it. His manager couldn’t handle so much work and he would be genuinely happy if it were not for the small detail that since that day Sai had not answered a single message or call.

As soon as the broadcast ended, the boyband’s manager and its leader were furious to scold the production of the program for allowing the host to overdoing in so many levels with them, Jinu thanked him from the heart for having saved his ass from a problem that could escalate much more and social media had gone crazy.

The hashtags #JiGen or #Gennu made him laugh because it was very funny to see how the fujoshis discussed who of the two had more characteristics to play the bottom role, some edited photos were cute, especially because they respected the fact that both had practically the same height. The other side of the coin was, of course, a very welcome number of haters, the usual ones were accusing him of being a cheating scammer and the new ones pointed out what a horrible person he was for bringing out the sexual preference of a public figure, risking his career and rejecting his feelings in the process.  As if it was his fault and not the damn host.

He was used to receiving that kind of hatred, it was good and more than necessary for a mild celebrity like him. But he couldn’t help but worry about whether Sai thought the same of him, that he was an opportunist only interested in fame and money. Just like the family that despised him so much.

Something like this could end up stoning a relationship that has not yet begun.

Gen was proud of his profession, was a mentalist above anything else and the love for a person could never come before who he was or else he would end up wearing him down to leave a shadow of himself. He had already seen other people go through it.

Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, one part of him was willing to find a space in his busy schedule so he could escape to nanami mansion and talk to Sai, another wanted to give him time to understand his feelings on his own and be at peace with them.

“Gen?” The confused voice of one of his friends brought him to reality.

“Ryusui-chan, what a surprise, what are you doing in the theater? Are you coming to help us with the show?” The blonde never went with intentions to help, but Gen always managed to cajole him into doing something anyway.

“Damage control! I thought I should explain to your staff why you had eloped with my older brother!”

“We postponed it to tomorrow, we can’t afford to help you win a bet at our expense and the stripper minister wasn’t free for today,” he joked while opening and closing a couple of locks to check they worked well.

“Gen…”

“Maybe we should drop the subject, as I told Ukyo-chan, you guys are confusing things. Sai-chan and I don’t have that kind of relationship, besides-…”

“Gen!” Ryusui grabbed him by the shoulders, cutting him off. “Sai is gone! It’s been a couple of hours since he said goodbye to me. He’s going to India!”

The mentalist always knew that this was a possibility, even before Sai told him, it was the greatest act of rebellion that such a docile person could put against his family, perhaps the only way to make them understand who he really was.

But leaving without saying goodbye was… so cruel. Was he so desperate to deny his feelings that it was going to hurt them both?

He never imagined that a person as sweet as Sai could break his heart so many times.

The thought of not seeing him again for years overwhelmed Gen as an unknown fear, a distant possibility at suddenly became a reality that made him feel alone in a huge world.

Why? If Gen was always able to fend for himself, why did it hurt so much then?

He needed to see him one more time, before separating for years and that when he saw him again both were different people or the love between them withers without more by the passage of time.

“I have to go”

“I’ll take you, you won’t find a better driver than me,” replied Ryusui, ahead of Gen’s step to guide him to his car. “Do you have an idea of which airport he might be at?”

“Wait.”

Once Hyoga, scathing as always, compared Senku’s posture to fully concentrate to a jutsu, even Homura muttered something like “thinking jutsu”. The truth was that it was very useful, they didn’t know who of the two was the first to do it, but when Gen raised two fingers in front of him, he felt capable to solve any puzzle about someone’s mind.

After all those years stuck in an attic, hiding from his tutors and lamenting the responsibilities that came with being born with a brain capable of solving mathematical problems faster than normal; Sai finally was about made his dream come true. Despite the logical fear of having to fend for him for the first time in his life, he must have been excited, it must be the new beginning in his life.

Why didn’t he feel good about his decision?

On the departure screen of the airport he saw that his was next, he inhaled deeply, trying desperately to find the necessary strength somewhere inside him, disappointed to find nothing.

Her first step toward his departure door was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.

“Gen?” He called, confused to see him there.

He shouldn’t be so surprised to be found, the mentalist always understood his thoughts without even trying.

It took Gen a moment to catch his breath after what seemed like a long run, without turning away Sai noticed the tailored suit made specifically to have a hundred pockets hidden, Gen must be rehearsing for his show that night and when he found out his escape he left everything to reach him.

He did not understand why he kept doing all those things for him, at first it was easy to confuse his consideration with the logic towards the older brother of his boyfriend, but to getting to the point where they were did nothing but hope him in vain.

“Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?”

A rhetorical question that hid deep down the real one: “Why are you leaving without saying goodbye?”

Sai couldn't answer that question without confessing his feelings, he bit his lip feeling small.

“I’m sorry.”

Gen’s wince was transparent, Sai could see through his trembling eyes and tight lips, making him feel like the worst person in the world. He wanted to let him know that there was nothing wrong with him, if they were to look for a culprit it must be Sai for falling in love knowing how wrong it was. If there was a culprit it must be Sai himself for being tempted to ask him to go with him.

“Then, at least…” Gen’s voice came out low from his dry throat. “Now that I found you, finish things once and for all.”

“Finish things?”  Sai thought understanding why all that felt so wrong.

Because despite the pain and guilt of being in love with Gen, during all those years he could afford to be by his side as a friend, wondering if there was any way to be with him and comforting himself with his presence as an analgesic of which he was about to suspend the dose abruptly.

Then, for once, he would allow himself to indulge.

Taking advantage of Gen’s closeness, he took his face with both hands to finally heed that insistent desire for years to kiss him.

Gen’s lips were hot and parched from mouth breathing oh his run; still, and despite the bitterness of the upcoming parting, Sai thought that his first kiss was perfect. An electric shock pierced his heart, filling it with an energy unknown to him until that moment, as if thanks to such ephemeral contact he was suddenly able to face his uncertain future.

Just by feeling the soft skin of Gen’s face against his trembling fingers, from having their lips meet, Sai could remember that he was doing just that precisely because he loved him. He loved everything about Asagiri Gen, he loved his curiosity for the human mind, he loved his affinity for magic, the blue hidden in his gray eyes, each of his gestures, he loved his hidden kindness.

Above all, he loved his smiles and if they were for Ryusui, then he would not interfere. He would keep the memory of that kiss and leave, put countries in between so as not to intervene in their happiness.

Convinced he took a step back, but Gen held his hands against his face and moved forward to give him a second kiss, silently asking him not to leave. Not like that.

He gave every one of his senses to the kiss, so the warmth of his body, the smell of his hair and the taste of his mouth would make a wound so deep in his soul that it would never heal.

“Let me keep this,” Sai asked against his lips.

Gen exhaled a muffled laugh in response.

“You should have asked me long ago.”

“No, this shouldn’t have happened. But I do not regret it.”

“You are a fool,” Gen reproached, letting go of his hands, dropping them to his sides, exhausted.

He took a step back and smiled at him sadly.

“I know you’ll do well. I’m happy to see you take this step.”

Sai took a few seconds to caress the face of his impossible love once again before letting go, slowly, wishing he could stay that way.

“Thank you… for everything. These years were better because of you.”

There was no more farewell, no promises to see each other again because neither of them had a single thing for sure about their future. They would have the memory of that kiss to comfort their battered hearts for years to come and nothing more.

Ryusui never expected to see his older brother come back, because leaving was the first decision he made himself for his future and if he thought about it, it was his best option; his talents and interests were being wasted in his education as an actuary, he would do better as a programmer. It was never Ryusui’s intention to take Gen to the airport to try to convince Sai to return and surely neither was Gen’s at any time.

They had to say goodbye, perhaps confess their feelings, but at that point, after so many opportunities to say them, he did not expect anything in particular.

He sighed by leaning in his seat, remembering, Sai was always bad at dealing with  cute women and men, so at first he thought it was simple attraction, but something in his interest in Gen as soon how made him happy and how he became a better person for him that made his infatuation something real. Then, he simply did not conceive how two people who loved each other so much could give him so many turns to confess it even, it was shameful to see each other’s mutual smiles almost as much as being with them when they were immersed in the aura of intimacy that only dedicated lovers could share, always attentive to each other.

When he glimpsed Gen approaching through the rearview mirror, in a slow gait, he turned to the opposite side of the co-pilot’s door, giving him the intimacy he needed to hide his emotions.

“Do you want me to take you somewhere before your presentation?”

“No, let’s go back, I must finish with the staging,” he spoke with a calm tone of voice, capable of deceiving anyone but Ryusui.

He drove a couple of streets without looking in the direction of the mentalist, it was not until he entered a tunnel that he could see by the reflection of the tinted window his watery eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Without answering yet, Asagiri leaned against the window,

"I'm sorry you didn't win the bet," he muttered.

And he knew he meant it, Gen regretted it because somehow he hoped he had made that bet come true.

That day the theater where the Magic Psychology show presented was more crowded than usual, the high of popularity came after controversy with the idol was enough to fill the place and Gen would usually appreciate it, but at that time the last thing he wanted to do was give a show.

“With you, the man who made his popularity grow by discovering the secrets of some celebrity on free-to-air television, the mentalist Gen Asagiri!”

The brazenness of the presentation had the purpose of attracting the attention of the public and being funny, by the laughter of some people seemed to achieve its mission, however, hearing how it was able to deceive caused a bitter drink at that time. Despite this, he composed his best smile and went on stage to meet Ryusui and Ukyo in the front row.

At least he didn’t lie when he told him he would go see him on his birthday.

He turned his attention to his childhood friend, looking at him with the same gentle eyes he gave him when they got into trouble during elementary school, telling him as then that no matter what happened, he was going to be by his side.

Then, Gen’s smile became sincere.

The end