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They were completely exhausted. Leaving the stage, they were all panting for breath, heaving air and sore from the amount of exertion they’d put their bodies through. They all stumbled back to the dressing room, getting changed in silence as quickly as possible, desperate to get home and sleep.
The concert had been great, as always, but so much more tiring than usual. It had been a much more last-minute event than they were used to, leaving them with just a few weeks to prepare rather than a couple of months. It had been non-stop rehearsals, costume fittings, more rehearsals, singing lessons, recording sessions for VCRs and more. They’d barely had a moment to breathe for weeks now, but now the concert was over, all the adrenaline that surged through their bodies in the lead up to it and during it was subsiding, the reality of the last few weeks hitting them all.
Taemin had to admit, he hadn’t been doing a good job of looking after himself during the preparations. Meals were often had very late at night so were chosen for convenience rather than nutritional value, sleep was short-lived and never left him feeling rested. He’d practiced for hours every single day, his body sore in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Everything ached, no matter how much he warmed up and stretched. Over the last couple of days, he’d barely eaten or slept, which happened occasionally in the lead up to a big concert like this, but coupled with the fact that he’d been suffering frequent headaches, struggling to concentrate and been feeling generally moody, it had felt worse than usual.
The other members seemed to have done an alright job looking after themselves. Sure, Minho was chugging coffee every day and Key complained every two minutes, but they still seemed to have much more energy than Taemin did. He had poured every last ounce he could muster into the actual concert stages, leaving him with nothing now. He felt like he was on autopilot as he changed into comfortable clothes and packed away his things, farewelling the staff and trailing behind the members as they all made their way to the car to go home.
Taemin dragged his feet while they walked through the venue, eyes hung low from exhaustion. Onew, ever in leader mode, noticed the strange actions of his maknae and slowed down to walk next to Taemin, letting the others move ahead.
“Hey Taeminie, you okay?”
Taemin hesitated, they were all feeling tired now, the last thing Jinki needed was for Taemin to start complaining, “Yeah I’m fine.”
“You’re not acting like yourself, and god, Taem, you’re really pale, are you sure-”
Onew was cut off by Taemin suddenly stopping walking, looking at Jinki with sudden immense fear and confusion, before everything went black and he started to collapse.
“Woah! Hey, I’ve got you Taemin,” Onew grabbed the boy straight away, hooking his arm around him to prevent him slumping to the ground, he called out to the others as he lowered Taemin’s limp form to the ground to rest against him.
Key and Minho turned, tired and confused, but immediately came running when they saw the pair on the ground.
“What the hell happened?” Key asked worriedly.
“I don’t know, we were just walking and he stopped and just totally passed out all of a sudden,” Onew was extremely concerned, feeling Taemin’s head. “He’s burning up, too.”
“I’ll call manager hyung,” Minho was already dialing. Their manager had gone ahead to bring their car around to the exit.
“Taemin? Can you hear us?” Key’s heart was pounding.
No reply.
“He’s out, what do we do?” Jinki truly had no clue what to do in this situation. It wasn’t like there was a ‘Leaders 101’ course for idols that covered ‘what to do if your maknae suddenly passes out after a concert’.
“Here,” Key pulled a spare water bottle from his backpack along with a towel, wetting it so it was cool and handing it to Onew to hold against Taemin’s head.
“Euisoo is on his way,” Minho informed, looking again at Taemin. He was nearly white, and completely unresponsive. This wasn’t good, and it definitely was not the way they expected to end their night.
“Minho can you unzip his hoodie and get it off him?” Onew asked while he dabbed gently at Taemin’s forehead, murmuring soft words of comfort to the boy, even if he wasn’t sure he was being heard.
Minho did as he was told, and could feel Taemin’s skin was hot to the touch. Taemin naturally seemed to run cool a lot of the time, he was always in a jacket or a hoodie (or cuddled up to one of his members given the chance). This was extremely unusual and very worrying.
“Hyung, he’s so warm,” Minho said quietly.
“I know, I don’t know what to do,” Onew said shakily.
Key was holding one of Taemin’s hands, rhythmically rubbing circles on it. He could also feel the heat radiating from him. It pained him to see him like this, so limp and completely helpless.
Their manager finally arrived, running down the hallway with a first aid staff member close behind. Together, they shifted Taemin to a lying position, keeping his head situated in Onew’s lap. The first aid person checked his temperature (high, unsurprisingly), and looked him over for any obvious injuries or signs of sickness.
“It could be severe exhaustion? I’m assuming you’ve all been very busy, was he looking after himself?”
‘He’s known to neglect his own needs,” Onew admitted. It was true, it had happened before, but it had never gotten this bad before. Had Taemin really been taking such poor care of himself that he’d reached this point?
Jinki felt a slight movement in his lap and looked down immediately, Taemin was stirring slightly. “Taeminie, can you hear us?”
A soft groan came in response. Onew would take that as a yes.
“Taemin, are you hurt anywhere?” their manager asked gently. Key and Minho were standing close to Onew, watching Taemin’s every breath.
“No,” Taemin shuddered.
“Do you know what happened?”
“I- I don’t… I’m just tired. How’d I get on the floor?” Taemin blinked, looking up at Jinki and seeing his other members close by.
“I caught you Taem, you passed out while we were walking,” Onew explained, still dabbing at Taemin’s head with the damp towel.
Taemin had no recollection of passing out. Just walking and then… here, now. Weird.
The medical person tested another few things on Taemin now he was responsive. shined a light in his eyes, checked his reflexes (slow, but not too abnormal) and checked his heartbeat and breathing.
“Is he okay?” Key asked the staff member when they’d finished.
“I can’t see anything wrong. I think it must just be a case of you’re so exhausted it was just too much for your body all of a sudden. With a few days rest you should be okay, but if anything worsens, you should go to the hospital.”
The members nodded along. Hopefully it was just a case of tiredness and nothing more.
“Can you stand, Taemin?” their manager asked, offering his hand.
“I-I think so,” he shifted his body, and Onew helped support him as he stood up slowly, one arm round his waist.
“Feel okay?”
Taemin nodded, “I think I’m good. I just feel really tired.”
“Let’s get you home then,” Onew nodded to their manager, who agreed that all seemed to be fine and Taemin didn’t need medical treatment.
"Taemin, would you be okay with staying with me tonight? I want to keep an eye on you," Jinki kept an arm around the younger as they walked slowly, the other members close behind.
"Hyung, you don't have to-"
"Listen to Jinki, Taemin," Key warned from behind.
"I need to know you're okay tonight, I think it would be for the best," Onew elaborated, and their manager chorused his agreement.
Taemin did have to admit, considering what had just happened, he was a little scared to be by himself in case he did suddenly pass out again. And spending the night with Onew sounded comforting, his leader was always able to set his mind at ease.
"Okay, if you're sure."
Jinki nodded, and they all finally piled into the van, their manager pulling away from the venue to take them home.
Eventually, Taemin and Onew were the only members remaining in the vehicle. Taemin's head had slumped to rest on Jinki's shoulder. Jinki was reluctant to wake him even when Euisoo stopped the car outside of the apartment building that housed SHINee’s old dorm, now Onew’s home.
“Taem?” Jinki tried shifting his shoulder slightly to wake the man gently.
No response. Onew’s heart beat a little faster.
“Taeminie?” he gently petted his maknae’s hair, waiting anxiously for him to respond.
It took a moment, but Taemin grunted softly in acknowledgement and slowly lifted his head from his leader’s shoulder. “Are we here already?” he yawned sleepily, eyes still mostly shut.
“You’ve been asleep on my shoulder for nearly 40 minutes, Taem.”
“Oh… sorry, hyung,”
“Don’t apologise, you obviously need the rest. Come on, let’s get you up to bed.”
Onew and Taemin farewelled their manager with the promise of letting him know if anything changed with how Taemin was feeling. Then they began the climb of the many flights of stairs up to the dorm. Taemin was on autopilot. Whilst he rarely visited the dorm these days, the muscle memory from living there daily was still there. He didn’t need to look to know where the doorhandle was to the stairwell, barely needed to watch his feet as he climbed the stairs, even in his exhausted state.
Onew ascended the stairs just behind Taemin, keeping a close eye on him. He was still worried, even if the medical staff had given him the all clear. Taemin was definitely known to lack some self-care skills and had a tendency to over-exert himself, but Onew had rarely seen him this bad, it had been years now. And he definitely did not want to see him like this again.
Finally, they made it to the dorm. Taemin was dragging his feet as Onew unlocked the door and let them in, sleepily shaking off his shoes and barely looking up to take in his surroundings. Onew had to admit, not much had changed. He was reluctant to change any of it, it was like stepping into a time capsule. He never touched the members’ old rooms, it felt wrong, and even their living area and kitchen still carried many of the same trophies they’d won, albums on the shelves, photos on the fridge from tours. More had been added over the years, but Onew never took them away.
Taemin collapsed onto the familiar couch and breathed a sigh of relief. Even though this wasn’t his home anymore, it bought him such a sense of comfort. Years had been spent living here, all five of them, teenage boys and young adults trying to work out how to live together whilst juggling life in the public eye as idols. It hadn’t been easy, but coming back to this space reminded the maknae of just how much had changed since then.
Jinki entered from the kitchen with bottles of water, joining Taemin on the couch, letting the younger snuggle into him. He would admit, he missed these types of moments with the members. It wasn’t uncommon, when they all lived together, to walk out and see two or more of the members lying together on the couch under a blanket, very nearly on top of eachother. Taemin especially was usually there with one of them, cuddled up next to them. They both at in comfortable silence for some time, sipping their water and listening to the quietness of the apartment.
“Thankyou for looking after us all this time, hyung,” Taemin said quietly all of a sudden, breaking the silence.
Onew looked down at him, “Where did that come from?”
“I was just thinking. You looked after us so well when we all lived together, and even now, like tonight, you still do, even though we’re all grown up now. Thankyou.”
“You’re obviously tired,” Onew ruffled his hair, “You’re not usually this sentimental.”
“I mean it though, it means a lot. I hope… I hope we do enough to look out for you too, hyung.”
Jinki rested his head against Taemin’s, “You do. We’re all here for eachother, forever.”
Quiet settled over them for a while.
“Kibum-hyung would call you yeonggam right now.”
Onew laughed, “He definitely would.” Onew made a move to shift Taemin off him, but Taemin pulled him back toward him, “Taemin-ah, I need to go make your bed up.”
Taemin pouted, “I have to go sleep in my room?”
“I mean… I thought…”
“Can’t I sleep with you? Like we used to do when I was upset or had a nightmare?”
Jinki chuckled, “Ahh, you haven’t changed a bit, Taeminie. Of course you can.”
Taemin sleepily lifted his arms in celebration like a child, making Onew laugh again. “Come on then,” Onew took his maknae’s hands, “Let’s get you to bed, I’m tired too, we did just perform a concert.”
Taemin groaned but allowed his leader to help him up, following behind him to his bedroom and collapsing into the tidily made, soft bed.
“I’m going to shower, I think you should just sleep Taeminie. There’s spare pyjamas in my closet you can use,” Onew patted the boy’s head as he lay face-down on top of the quilt. Yep, just like when he was a teenager. This was familiar, Onew looking after a tired maknae just like he used to. Taemin softly padding into his room late at night, puffy-eyed, I can’t sleep, I had a nightmare, hyung, can I stay here? So much had changed, but at the same time, it felt like no time had passed at all.
Taemin slept more soundly that night than he had in weeks. Comfortably bundled up next to Onew, listening to the muted sounds of the street below. Onew felt comforted knowing that if anything was wrong with him, he was right next to him to make sure he was alright. Thankfully, when they woke the next day, Taemin had his usual spring in his step and was more energetic than Onew had seen him in a while. They met up with Minho and Key the next morning, the others also anxious to know the maknae was fine. SHINee really was a family, no matter how much time passed, what hardships they went through. Onew was right, they were there for eachother forever.