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"Well" She sighed, looking anywhere but at him "Not because you love someone it means you want to be with them... " Then, she looked at him again "Sometimes love is not enough, which is valid"
Sova pursed his lips "So you mean the third option is... "
"You reject him" she finished "Kindly, of course, but you put an end to this."
"You think that's a good option?"
"It's... kinder, than not telling Cypher, just so you don't end up toying with him or giving him hope"
Sova toyed with the embroidery of the pillow next to him, a bright multicoloured thing that had to belong to Reyna. "Which option should I take?"
"I think that's you decision to make, Sova" Sage said "There is no wrong choice here, Sova, but when you finally make one, it will be the last thing you can say in the matter. Make sure you won't regret it later"
He regretted it later.
He regretted it the moment he saw Cypher the next day, when the man looked like he hadn't slept a wink the day before and even then smiled at him with his eyes.
He regretted it the moment he asked Cypher to meet him outside the compound for a talk and the man agreed instantly. There was no giddiness in him, but there was not a sensation of doom either in his movement. Cypher was clueless.
He regretted it the moment he said the words out loud, lies that he couldn't help but tell himself, selfishly trying to protect his heart from nothing as Cypher's cybernetic eyes darkened, as the words processed in his brain and not even his mask could disguise his reaction.
He regretted it the moment Cypher, with his voice broken and breathless, nodded once, apologized to Sova for having made him uncomfortable with his actions and promised to forget anything, everything, and made it clear he would not bother Sova again, more serious and sincere than Sova ever heard him before.
He regretted it the moment he found Cypher outside the compound the next morning as he left for his weekly trek, in the same place he had so painfully rejected the man, crouching on the floor and crying his soul out, uncaring of anyone that looked at him. Broken.
He regretted it every day, every hour, as they worked together in the field, or shared meals with the rest, or had to patch the other up after a close call. He regretted it when Cypher smiled at him politely, and hurt, but distant. He regretted it when he no longer saw his face, his white smile, slightly crooked nose, those beautiful brown eyes.
He regretted it when he saw Cypher fall in love again with another agent years later, and when he saw them fall out, when he saw Cypher trying to close his heart but didn't manage to, the third heartbreak being his last straw.
He regretted it when they won, when the connection with the other earth was closed forever, their world safe again from other universes that tried to harm it. He regretted it when he saw Cypher's face again, for the last time, the crinkles by his eyes showing the real fifty something man under it.
He regretted it when Cypher nodded at him, kissed his cheek for the last time as everyone cheered their success, and turned around, the agent named Cypher ceasing to exist as he crossed the main doors, Amir el Amari leaving forever to find a new life as Ilya regretted the day he lied and rejected the only man he would love for the rest of his life.