Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s a quiet morning, like it usually is. Gakushuu and his father sit across from each other at the table, eating breakfast without acknowledging the other’s presence.

“Everyone seems to be settling in nicely,” his father finally says. “Although I can’t help but notice you’ve been somewhat distracted lately. Care to explain what that’s about?”

Gakushuu doesn’t even look up. “Minor technological issues. Nothing that will affect my studies, or the studies of my classmates. A Class will stay on top, as usual.”

“See to it that you do,” Father says. “I hope I do not need to remind you again that the strong can be toppled just as quickly as they rise. Those at the top would always do well to heed (Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-)”

“Naturally,” Gakushuu agrees with a pleasant smile when his father finishes. “No need to worry about me, sir. I’m fully aware of your educational philosophies. I won’t be toppled this year, or any other year.”

His father turns back to his newspaper. “As expected. And of course, I should remind you that simply being student council president doesn’t mean you’ve come any closer to removing me from my throne. Do try and put up a good challenge this year, at least. We wouldn’t want your middle school years to have been completely useless when it comes to beating me.”

Gakushuu knows his smile is far more calculating now, aware that while his father might not look like he’s paying attention, he certainly is. “Of course. I’ll be sure to surprise you, Sir.” With that, he finishes his breakfast and takes his leave. He always gets to school earlier than father anyways.

And, of course, as soon as he’s out of the house, he can’t help but roll his eyes. Father used to be more intimidating, but he’s become rather boring lately. He needs some new material. Gakushuu’s pretty sure he’s heard the “strong” speech a hundred times now.

And for all of his father’s talk about holding the throne at Kunugigaoka Junior High, he’s amusingly - frustratingly - oblivious as to what’s really going on there.

They manage to make it to third period today. It’s as they’re going over the new equations that the lights in the room flicker, and outside the windows, a strange dark substance oozes over the glass panes, forming claws and mouths and other monstrosities. The strange something starts to rap against the windows, as though demanding to get in.

There’s an ominous knock at the door.

Ito-sensei sighs. Then she pulls her hair back into a bun. “I’m very sorry about the interruption, class. “We’ll continue going over the new material shortly. Please look over what we’ve learned so far, this shouldn’t take long.” She grabs something from her desk and slips out the door.

Anaya closes the blinds, blocking the creature from their view. Gakushuu nods appreciatively, before addressing the class. “You heard Ito-sensei. I want everyone reviewing right now. If you’re interested, you can take a closer look the next time this thing tries to get in.”

Everyone easily complies, because at this point whatever this creature is, it always goes away once Ito-sensei is done with it, at least for a few days.

“Who wants to bet Sensei is some sort of magical girl?” Watanabe offers brightly.

Seo snorts. “As if anyone’s gonna take that bet.”

They’ve just finished fourth period. Araki leans over Koyama’s paper and raises an eyebrow. “Are you seriously trying to theorize a scientific reason for the moon blowing up?”

“Seems kind of pointless,” Ren notes, taking out his English books for next period. “I mean, we all know magic is a thing.”

“That doesn’t mean magic is the only reason the moon could’ve blown up!” Koyama argues.

“Koyama, you literally live in a sentient magic house,” Seo points out.

Koyama shakes his head, looking determined. “Just because magic exists doesn’t mean everything weird is caused by magic. Just ask Amami.” He pauses. “Then again, is the stuff she does technology and science or magic?”

They all pause to think about that. “It’s a little unclear,” Gakushuu admits. As much as it frustrates him, he has no idea how Amami creates her things.

“Asano! The weird ghost invaded the computers again!” Chika calls out. Gakushuu sighs and gets up.

“I’ll be right back,” he says to his friends. “I’ve got a spirit to exorcise. Again.”

“Maybe it’ll stick this time,” Ren offers hopefully.

“That would be nice,” Gakushuu says. “I really wasn’t planning on getting this good at quick exorcisms. I’m starting to think learning how to perform them should be mandatory for everyone in the computer club.”

Fifth and Sixth periods go smoothly, for the most part. At one point during Japanese, something tries to crawl through their whiteboard, and Ito-sensei beats it back with a rod before continuing on with her lecture.

She’s a rather good teacher. Of course, the principal wouldn’t hire any bad teachers at their elite school, but just because a teacher might know their subjects well doesn’t mean they’re well versed in actually teaching those subjects. And Gakushuu knows his father doesn’t like to hire more “out-of-the-box” teachers, especially for the A Classes. He suspects Ito-sensei gets away with it because she lectures more than anything else.

In seventh period, Amami, who never came back from lunch, finally shows up again. Her lime green hair is covered in soot, and she has that wild look in her eyes that never promises anything good.

“Piranha pigeons,” she explains.

Gakushuu balks. “...What?”

Amami reaches into her desk and pulls out - hang on, is that a death ray? He’s sure he confiscated all her death rays. “Three-foot-tall Piranha pigeons. They’ve got Kita.” Kita also hasn’t come back from lunch.

“Rip Kita,” he hears someone mutter under their breath, and fights back a sigh, before getting out of his seat. Kanada, the other class representative, does the same.

“You should’ve said something before.” He glances at Ito-sensei.

“I’ll email you three the presentation,” she promises. “But Amami, you’re going to be on thin ice if you miss more than four periods a day again.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” They all know she won’t keep that in mind, but Ito-sensei lets the three of them go anyways. Amami hands each of them a - yeah, those are definitely death rays.

Gakushuu raises an eyebrow. “What did we tell you about bringing these to school?”

Amami’s unperturbed. “You may be student council president, but until Anaya, my coffee goddess, tells me to stop, the rays will stay.” Gakushuu makes a mental note to ask Anaya about cutting off Amami’s coffee supply.

“At least they came in handy this time,” Kanada offers with a weak smile, handling the ray-gun shaped weapon with the ease of one who’s had to use it far too many times. “I mean, last time we almost lost Saito for good. Don’t really feel like losing Kita.”

That’s an admittedly fair point. Gakushuu still wishes there were at least Safeties on these things though.

“You know, today was a pretty easy day,” Araki notes, as they pack their things after classes are over. Everyone’s going home today, except Kita, who’s staying at Amami’s place for the night to make sure he didn’t get infected by any of those monster hybrids. “I mean, I know we’re still a bit in review, but I was expecting things to pick up a bit this week.”

“We’re getting an essay for the weekend in Japanese, or so the rumors say.” Ren stuffs his things into his bag, then frowns and pulls out some sort of black soot cloud with what look like curious eyes, laying it carefully on his desk, then turning back to his things.

“We could work on it at my house?” Koyama offers. He’s met with easy agreements. Everyone loves going to Koyama’s house.

Gakushuu quickly goes over his own schedule. “I can make it. I’ve got soccer practice Saturday morning, and I’m tutoring first years at three on Sunday, but I should be good any other time.” It’s a pretty open weekend for him.

“Five on Saturday?” Seo offers. That turns out to be good for everyone.

“How was your day today?” Father asks, in a rare display of concern for Gakushuu’s wellbeing.

Gakushuu thinks about it. “Fairly uneventful,” he answers truthfully.

Chapter Text

Gakushuu arrives at Koyama’s house at five o’clock exactly that Saturday. From the outside, it looks like a normal townhouse, if slightly run down. He goes up and knocks, and the door, which was previously locked, swings open.

A woman with messy black hair and glasses is at the other end of the hallway, and rushes over to greet him. “Gakushuu, you’re here. Natsu and Teppei are in the study room. Unless you want snacks to bring up there?”

Gakushuu deliberates for a moment. “That would be wonderful. Thank you.” She smiles and gives him a pat on the head, even though she’s shorter than him, and goes off to get the promised snacks.

Koyama Sakura, who insists they call her by her first name, is an engineering genius. She’d risen to extreme prominence at her job, becoming vice president of the wealthy company, unheard of for a woman in Japan. Of course, soon after, baseless accusations started flying of how she was unfit to do her job, the CEO turned his back on her after crumbling under the pressure the board was putting on him to fire her, and so before her career could be totally ruined, Koyama Sakura had left, using the considerable wealth she’d acquired to focus on her other passions, such as gardening, which is probably why the house is overflowing with plants.

(Koyama had admitted that his mom had been unmarried when she had him, and that had alienated her from her workplace even further. They all know Sakura’s not the type to blame her kid for that, but Gakushuu’s sure Koyama still blames himself at least a little.)

Gakushuu’s not sure how she and Koyama, two of the most scientifically-minded people he knows, can stand living in a house where everything is bigger or smaller on the inside and the rooms can shift around at a minutes notice, but they certainly make it work.

Not that he’s complaining, because after she comes back with a tray of cookies, fruits, and apple juice, all he needs to do is turn in a random direction, open a door to a hallway that wasn’t there before he turned, and open any door in said hallway, and he’s in the study room.

Koyama and Araki are already inside, sitting at the table with their workbooks and laptops out. The study room looks the same as it did the last few times, which means a large table, comfortable chairs, and the ever present science lab in the back corner. According to the Koyama’s, that’s been there since little Natsuhiko first discovered his love of chemistry.

This house certainly has its favorites.

Araki notices him first. “Asano! You’re here! And with more snacks.” Gakushuu sets the plate and juice boxes on the table and takes out his own laptop, before grabbing a juicebox as quickly as he can.

It’s not like he gets these things at home, after all. He needs to go to Koyama or Ren’s for the less organic food.

“I suppose we’re waiting for the other two before getting started on the essay?” He ventures.

“That’s the plan,” Koyama agrees.

There’s always something comforting about working at Koyama’s house. One would think being in a sentient house would be strange and weird, and while it’s a little bit of both, it’s also very nice. Gakushuu can always find his way around the place, and always ends up in the room he wants to be in. Sometimes when he’s really tired he even opens up a door to a bedroom that definitely isn’t Koyama’s or Sakura’s, decorated in his favorite colors and filled with knick-knacks he’s sure he’s lost over the years, and he knows what the house is trying to say.

Ren and Seo walk in together, and they do finally get their essays out, for the most part working quietly, but sometimes asking for each other’s opinion. When he leaves later that day, he sees the windows waving goodbye to him out of the corner of his eye.

Araki frowns at the stack of papers in front of him. “This isn’t enough. Shouldn’t we have about twenty more?”

Chika shrugs helplessly. “Ghost interrupted the printing process again.”

“I could replicate twenty more of those sheets,” Amami suggests, pulling out a dubious looking device.

“No thanks. I don’t want my paper to eat my face.”

“It won’t eat your face!” She frowns, looking over her gadget again. “Maybe. Probably.”

“Probably isn’t good enough.”

“It would be if you weren’t a coward.”

Araki sighs and pinches his brow, almost dislodging his glasses. “Guess we’ll just have to print our own activity schedules out later. Did you try the salt?”

“Of course I tried the salt,” Chika replies, looking mildly offended. “The monitor started literally smoking, and I think it hissed at me. I swear, that stupid ghost is just getting stronger.”

“Maybe you should try something different,” Tsubara, who is passing by, offers. “I dunno, befriend the ghost instead of exorcizing it again.”

“I would’ve tried that already if it wasn’t an asshole-”

“We’ll focus on our ghost problem later,” Gakushuu interrupts lightly. “The assembly’s in an hour, and we’re still missing Saito and Ito-Sensei.”

The door to the classroom bursts open. “I’m here! Ito-Sensei is coming, she just had to take care of some weird void dimension trying to eat some B-Class students. I think she’s wrapping up now.”

The boy who just walked in is very explicitly not Saito. Sure, he looks approximately the same, but if one pays attention, they can see the way his eyes shift from normal brown to slitted gold, the green tint to his skin that sometimes reveals itself under weird lighting, the pointed ears he hides with his long hair.

“Are the B-Class kids alright?” Ren asks.

“They’re fine,” Not-Saito assures them. “They didn’t even know they were about to be eaten, and Ito-Sensei got rid of the void before it could do anything.”

“Lucky,” Kita, who has been eaten by a void dimension before, mutters.

That settled, Gakushuu raises an eyebrow at the latecomer. “Saito’s skipping again, isn’t he.”

The changeling who’s replacing Saito shrugs, unrepentant. “He hates assemblies. And my parents said they were going to contact me today, and there’s no way I’m going to listen to them saying the same annoying shit over and over. “Oh, you’re not still mad at us for kidnapping a human and dropping you in his place, are you? We just wanted to play with a human child for a few weeks, why are you so upset about this?”

“Tough break,” Tsubara sympathizes.

“I think they’re mostly just upset that I hang out with the group of human kids that rescued him,” Not-Saito agrees. “They’re still smarting about being bested like that.”

“They should’ve known better than to challenge a group of cutthroat middle-schoolers.” Watanabe nods sagely. Then she pauses. “Wait, are all of us human anymore? Besides Not-Saito, obviously. And Imai.” Imai, not currently hiding her fox tail, grins sheepishly at being addressed. “And the ghost, if we count it as a classmate.”

“That,” Gakushuu says, watching Ito-Sensei approach the classroom, “Is an existential crisis for another time.”

“There weren’t enough papers?” The dean looks confused at their explanation for why their stack of activities sheets is an entire class short.

Araki winces. “Printer stopped working,” he offers, because it’s easier than explaining the ghost that only seems to affect their class. Maybe it has a weird vendetta against 3-A. Maybe they’re just the only ones it feels comfortable enough to act up around.

“I see,” the dean says. He smiles in that insincere way of his. “In that case, we’ll pass them out to classes A through D.” He holds out his hand.

Araki doesn’t give the papers to him. “Oh, we were perfectly fine printing more for ourselves later-”

“No, I insist.” The dean’s smile is more forced now, clearly disliking the idea that the prodigious Class A would think to give their papers away to a lower class. “You worked so hard on these, after all. I’m sure E Class will manage until more can be printed.”

The rest of the student council exchanges glances. They know how the school works, how the system goes. The dean is still holding out his hand impatiently.

Araki gives him the papers and turns back to Gakushuu, rolling his eyes. “Couldn’t they at least be more subtle about it?”

“The principal wouldn’t know subtlety if it bit him on the ass,” Gakushuu dryly informs him. “We’ll get 3-E their papers later.”

From what Gakushuu had learned after the untimely passing of Yukimura-sensei, E Class’ homeroom teacher was a man named Karasuma Tadaomi. About a week ago, another teacher, Jelavic-Sensei, joined to teach 3-E language arts.

Karasuma is a former air force instructor with dark spiky hair. Jelavic is a young blonde woman who looks like she could be in college. Both are already standing with the other teachers when there’s a burst of wind, and suddenly a third 3-E teacher is in the room and all of E Class have the activity sheets.

He’s got a massive round head, an unchanging Cheshire grin, and numerous tentacles slithering about him. He seems to give his students the equivalent of a thumbs-up, and E Class representative Isogai turns to Araki, who is at the microphone. “Looks like we got our sheets, thank you!”

Araki blinks once at the new teacher before giving a tiny shrug and nodding at Isogai. “Good to know. Now, on to the next agenda…”

Ren leans over. “Doesn’t he kinda look like Takeuchi-sensei?” Takeuchi-sensei is their substitute on the days that Ito-sensei is unavailable (not sick, she doesn’t get sick. Just… unavailable). He’d seemed like a normal substitute, enough to fool the other teachers and the principal, until he got tired of Juno pulling out his phone in the middle of class. He still subs for them sometimes, since he’s rather good. He even wipes all the slime off the floor himself before he leaves, which is more than they can say about other substitutes.

“Not really,” Yuna whispers back. “Takeuchi-sensei is green, and has a lot more mouths and those mouths have needle-teeth, not human-like teeth, and his face is more…” She makes twisting gestures with her hands, trying in vain to convey how their substitute’s “face” contorts.

“Maybe they’re the same species?” Watanabe offers.

“They seem a bit too different for that. Not all creatures with tentacles are connected,” Gakushuu points out mildly, as they watch Jelavic-sensei trying to stab her coworker. “Plus, Takeuchi-sensei can actually pass as a human. This being’s human disguise is just pathetic. I have no idea how he’s fooled anyone with that.” The other’s nod in agreement.

Koyama squints at the crescent tie on the eldritch being's cosplay-teacher's outfit. "Wait, is that the monster they're saying blew up the moon?"

All of them consider this for a moment. "Huh. Neat," Yuna says, effectively summing up their general feelings on the subject.

Kanada smiles slightly. “At least we know now that we’re not the only class who has to deal with these things. I wonder what kind of messes 3-E gets into?”

Seo snorts. “Well, unless they have their own crop circles they need to mow out of the lawn once a month, then I don’t want to hear them complaining about whatever they deal with up there.”

Karasuma-sensei has Jelavic-sensei’s arm twisted behind her back, and E Class is laughing at their antics. “Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Gakushuu says, for the sake of having it said. “We don’t know if it’s just the teachers, or if there’s something more to it.”

Ren raises an eyebrow at him. “Even you don’t believe that. It’s never just one thing.”

“No, it never is,” Gakushuu agrees tiredly. Whatever. E Class can deal with their own Eldritch teachers and supernatural issues. It’s not their problem.

Chapter Text

“You know what I just love doing?” Yuu says dryly, as she powers down her mower. “Having to get rid of all the crop circles on the lawn right before Midterms. This is taking away from studying time.”

“Seo jinxed us,” Chika announces. Seo glares at her, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

“At least we’re finished now,” Gakushuu says, wiping away the bit of sweat that’s gathered on his brow. “I’ll unlock the break room - we can use it to get some extra studying in before classes start today.”

Anaya’s brow pinches a little. “Why do you think whoever’s doing this keeps coming back to make more of these things? Is there a message that we’re not getting?”

“Maybe they’re just doing it because they’re assholes,” Seo grumbles.

“So they’re here to connect with you specifically, then? Let you know that you’re one of them?” Araki offers blandly. Seo leans over and cuffs him on the back of his head.

“So,” Ren says, deliberately ignoring the snark-off that’s starting to build between their two friends, “Should we head up to the break room now?”

“That sounds fine-” He’s cut off by the sound of rapid movement. From underneath the freshly mowed ground, a massive worm-like monster with a mouth bigger than a human head and rows and rows of sharp teeth bursts into the open air, heading straight for Seo and Araki.

Koyama runs it over with his own mower. Green gunk flies everywhere as the creature hisses and dies. There’s a short pause as everyone looks at the creature’s corpse. Yuu pokes it with her mower, confirming that it’s dead.

“Anyways, like I was saying, that should be fine,” Gakushuu continues. “Let’s put these away and head upstairs.”

There’s a general murmur of agreement. Behind him, Gakushuu can hear Seo and Araki continuing their banter right where they left off.

“Alright,” Gakushuu decides. “I’ve had enough.”

Chika winces. “But-”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong for being annoyed at this thing.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Believe me, I am thoroughly fed up with it. But it’s almost midterms, and your rivalry is making it near impossible to get anything done here. We need to be able to use the computers. This means that we’re going to make peace with this ghost, whether we like it or not.”

It’s a testament to how bad things have gotten that Chika doesn’t argue.

One of the computer screens is currently active, open to a document which shows only a bolded angry face in very large font. Chika sighs and sits down right in front of it. Gakushuu sits in the seat next to her.

“Alright, ghost-”

[EMI.]

They both pause. “...Sorry?”

[MY NAME IS EMI. CALL ME BY MY NAME, DIPSHIT.]

“Okay, I’m done here.” Chika goes to stand up. Gakushuu grabs her hand and drags her back down into her seat. She pouts at him, and he chooses to ignore her, turning back to the possessed computer.

“Alright then, Emi,” he says. “Clearly you’re frustrated. We’re frustrated too.”

[YEAH NO SHIT. YOU KEEP EXORCIZING ME.]

“Yes, and I’m sure that’s pissing you off,” he agrees. “Just as you interrupting everything we do online has been pissing us off. You don’t want to be exorcized again, and we want to use technology in this room. I don’t see why we can’t come to an agreement that benefits both of us.”

There’s a pause. Impossibly, the document displays a moving buffering symbol. Chika taps her fingers on the desk impatiently.

[I WANT HER TO APOLOGIZE. AND I WANT ACCESS INTO YOUR CLASS GROUPCHAT. I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN BLOCKING THAT OFF FROM ME.]

It’s true, they have. It’s one of the few digital spaces Emi has never been able to breach.

“And in return, we have your word that you’ll stop harassing the class?” Gakushuu confirms.

[UH-HUH.]

He raises an eyebrow. “If you don’t keep your word, we’re sending Amami in next.”

Emi does the digital equivalent of a shudder. [OH FUCK NO. YOU THINK I WANT THAT LUNATIC NEAR MY CODE? I’M A GHOST OF MY WORD.]

Chika sighs. “Alright, fine. I’m sorry for calling you a weird and annoying dick all the time, and I’ll let you into the groupchat. An apology in return would be nice, though.”

[>:D]

Chika sighs again.

It’s the end of the day, and clearly something has had Ito-sensei bothered for the last two periods. Everyone has been exchanging glances at each other, curious but not willing to pry just yet.

Finally, Ito-sensei erases the last sentence from the board and turns to address the class. “I just received an email from the principal,” she informs them. “There’s going to be new material on the midterms exam. Principal Asano is coming to A-Class directly to teach this new material himself, and the lesson will be broadcast to the rest of the school live.”

There’s a pause, as all of them take this in. Kita tentatively raises his hand.

“Yes, Kita-kun?”

“Is it going to be… you know… okay? If he teaches this class? I mean, I guess we can hope that nothing happens in the short time he’s here, but…”

“The rest of the school is going to see what happens live, so it should be pretty calm,” Kanada says reasonably. “Whatever weird effect makes it so no one outside of this class notices anything should be in effect.”

“Or something could prevent whatever happens from showing up on the screens, regardless of what’s actually going on in the classroom,” Watanabe points out, just as reasonably.

Personally, Gakushuu doubts anything big will happen. If whatever weirdness filter that keeps others from realizing just how strange things really are wanted the principal to know about A-Class, he would’ve known about it by now.

He points this out to the class, and can see them contemplating it.

Ito-sensei clears her throat. “Whatever the case turns out to be, I hope everyone will be on their best behavior, and make principal Asano feel welcome in our classroom.”

No one hides their snickers at their sensei’s dry words.

Gakushuu really shouldn’t have pushed their luck.

This new material the principal is teaching is important, so half of the class is taking notes on it to share with the other half of the class, who are currently distracted trying to shoo the weird cross between a serpent, bird, and lobster out of the classroom. The irritating yokai keeps managing to just get away from them, however.

“It’s called an Amiriki,” Imai hisses at the rest of them, having already assured everyone through the groupchat that this specific yokai doesn’t show up on cameras. “It usually spends time cutting through fishing and mosquito nets. Dunno how it got here.” She reaches out to try and grab the Amiriki, but it scuttles out of her reach and up Kita’s desk, before crawling onto his face and snipping at his nose with its lobster claws.

Kita lets out a muffled yelp as Kanada and Juno try to get the creature off him. The principal finishes writing out the equation just as they peel the Amiriki off of Kita and send it flying up to the ceiling, where it scuttles just above the principal’s head.

Gakushuu’s father turns around with a pleasant smile, clearly having heard Kita’s yelp, but utterly unaware of the yokai scuttering above his head. “Did everyone get all of that?”

There are dutiful nods all around the classroom. The Amiriki, mimicking all the human faces around it, seems to nod its head as well.

The principal turns back to the board just before the Amiriki makes its way towards the student side of the classroom. Gakushuu watches as it stops right above him, before dropping down, claws aimed at his face.

Gakushuu’s hand shoots into the air, and he grabs the Amiriki by its long body, trying not to grimace at how damp it is. The yokai thrashes in his grip, but he holds firm, nodding towards the window.

Watanabe, who is closest, reaches over to the window, and as silently as she can, slides it open. Gakushuu pulls back his arm and adjusts his aim, before launching the creature out of the window like a javelin. It makes a weird keening sound as it fails around, and they watch it crash onto the lawn, where another weird worm monster erupts from the grass and devours it. Watanabe slides the window shut.

Gakushuu sits down and picks his pencil back up adopting an invested expression as his father turns around once again. “Do you understand everything so far?”

“Yes sir,” comes the dutiful class response.

“Excellent. Now, here’s how this may be applied to your midterm…”

Gakushuu idly thinks of E Class as he gets back to working on the new material. He wouldn’t be surprised if the video explaining all of this isn’t sent to them, but they should be fine. At the very least, their teachers probably have a way of fishing it out of where the principal’s going to store it, and will show it to them. That’s what Ito-sensei and Takeuchi-sensei would do, and out of the three, Karasuma at least seems competent.

It’s probably nothing they need to be too concerned about.

Chapter Text

Yuna slams the door to the classroom closed with far more force than is necessary. “Fucking aliens.”

“Aliens?” Yuu repeats curiously.

“Aliens,” Yuna agrees sourly. “Fucking aliens that took my fucking cat.”

Most of the class has already arrived, save for Kita and Ito-sensei, and they’re all looking at her curiously. “Do you think it’s the same aliens who keep making those crop circles?” Kanada wonders.

“If it is, why would they switch to kidnapping cats all of a sudden?” Ren points out.

“The MO certainly seems different than the crop circle menaces.” Gakushuu sighs. So much for getting some last minute studying in. “What did the aliens look like?”

Yuna glares at the room, sitting down in her chair with far more force than is necessary. “How should I know? One minute I’m trying to get Skittles back inside, the next, this green cone of light appears and she’s sucked up into it!”

“You named your cat Skittles?” Juno asks, amused.

She turns her glare on him. “You got a problem with that?”

He shakes his head and puts up his arms in a surrender pose, still grinning. “Not at all. A great name for a cat. Is she a calico or something?”

“No, she’s a black cat. Her eyes look like green skittles. It’s a fitting name for her.”

Gakushuu pinches the bridge of his nose. “Cat name aside, did the UFO she got catnapped by look like a stereotypical flying saucer, or something else? We need to know what we’re dealing with here.”

“It was definitely stereotypical,” Yuna confirms. “To the point where it was almost surprising. I guess all those images of alien ships had to come from somewhere. I wonder if the guys who took her are actually little green men?”

“Not quite. Hang on, I need to make a call, and then we can rescue your cat.” Gakushuu pulls out his phone and flips through his contacts.

Araki leans over curiously. “Really? Not that I’m complaining, but you’re usually a stickler for getting misadventures done after class whenever possible. The day just started.”

“Skittles could be dissected by the time class is done!” Yuna protests.

“She’s right. Also, according to Alphonse, these guys are terrible opportunists, and if we don’t head them off now, they’re going to keep coming back and abducting more animals and eventually people.” He finds the contact he’s looking for and calls them up.

“Alphonse?” Seo asks.

“You can’t pronounce his real name with a human tongue, so he told me to call him Alphonse.” The call connects. “Hey, Al? The Zenkrinos are back and stealing animals again.”

“Oy, seriously? You need me to vaporize those guys for you? Also, call more often! It’s been forever, man!”

Gakushuu winces. “No, there’s something on board we need to get back. Is there any way you can send us up to their ship?” He’s very aware of his classmates gathering around him, listening curiously to his call.

“Course I can! You don’t even have to ask. And once you’ve got what you’re looking for, I’ll beam ya back and destroy them! Have fun!”

“Wait, Al-” There’s a sudden flash of light, an immense amount of disorientation, and then all of them are standing in a spotless grey corridor, strange lights blinking all around them. Gakushuu sighs as the call disconnects. “This is why I don’t call him that much. He always jumps the gun.”

Tsubara looks around the alien corridor curiously. “You didn’t mention you had an alien friend. Especially one so… trigger happy. How did you guys meet?”

“He crash landed in my front yard, and I helped him repair his ship before the principal woke up. He insisted we stay in contact since then. He’s usually fine, he just has a problem when it comes to solving problems in any way except vaporization.” He turns, and takes in Amami’s delighted face. “No. Absolutely not.”

“But Asano!” Her eyes are practically sparkling as she grabs his hands. “You have to introduce us! It would be so cool to meet-”

“Not a single goddamn chance.” This is why he told no one but Ren about Alphonse. This is the nightmare scenario. “Let’s just get Skittles and get out of here.” He takes in Amami’s hands, which are still around his, and her disappointed expression. Dammit. “I don’t suppose you have enough weapons for all of us?”

Amami beams. “Oh boy do I!”

See, this is why he never wants the two to meet.

“So… when did you make the lightsabers?” Saito asks, using his new blade to cut through a door made out of unidentifiable metal, while Chika messes with whatever recording technology might give away their presence.

“Aren’t they more like light-katanas, considering their shape?” Yuu wonders, holding up her blue blade and studying it.

Ren admires his own purple weapon. “Mine would be a light-naginata then. You really know us well, Amami!” That one isn’t surprising - Ren’s always been better with longer weapons, a fact he and Gakushuu discovered when they were kids and found the old stash of blades in his house.

Amami puffs up proudly. “Of course I do! I don’t do shoddy work!” Everyone eyes her skeptically. She pointedly ignores them.

Koyama is snickering at Ren. “Compensating much?”

“Says you with the light-tanto.”

“What the fuck?” Everyone looks over to Chika, who is staring at a familiar symbol flashing on the alien screen.

[YOU GUYS CAME UP HERE WITHOUT ME. >:( ]

“We didn’t exactly plan our arrival,” Gakushuu points out, begrudgingly impressed with the ghost’s tenacity. “How did you get up here anyways?”

[TRADE SECRET. ALSO, THE HOLDING CELLS ARE TWO CORRIDORS TO THE LEFT, BEHIND THE DOOR WITH THE WEIRD LOOKING BUNNY ON IT.]

A map of the spaceship’s layout pops up, and a bright red circle pinpoints the location Emi mentioned.

“If you were tangible, I’d give you a hug,” Yuna says, and the screen visibly brightens. “Skittles, here we come!”

The holding cells were surprisingly easy to sneak into. There were only two guards - Zenkrinos looked like some kind of cross between moss, fungi, and snakes, and they’d dealt with horrors like that plenty of times before. Tsubara kicks one of them so hard they literally fall apart, Gakushuu slices another’s head off, and then they’re inside.

From inside one of the force-field cells, Skittles meows excitedly jumping to her feet as she sees Yuna. She’s not the only familiar face in the room, however.

“...At this point, I’m starting to think you’re cursed,” Anaya says dryly.

“You think!?” Kita wails. “I was just trying to get to school! Why do these things keep happening to me!?”

“Could be some kind of bad luck curse,” Imai muses, as Chika and Emi work together to turn the force fields off. The newly freed Skittles takes a running leap into Yuna’s arms, who lets out a happy cry and snuggles her cat. Kita stumbles out of his own cell, and Amami helps him to his feet.

“Can we find a way to get rid of it?” Kita asks desperately. “They were going to probe me! It was traumatizing!”

“TMI, man.”

“Oh, that’s easy for you to say! You’re not the one who always gets attacked or kidnapped or bitten or eaten!”

“If it is some kind of bad luck curse, we’ll find a way to break it,” Gakushuu promises. “For now, is there anything else going on in this ship that we need to know before we leave?”

Kita shrugs, mollified. “They mentioned heading to America to steal and sell some cows, but not much other than that.”

“Not our problem, then.” Gakushuu calls Alphonse again. “Thanks for this. We got what we came for, mind bringing us back to Earth?”

“No problem. Enjoy the fireworks show!”

“Al, wait-”

There’s another uncomfortable flash, and they’re all back in the classroom, Kita and Skittles included, with an unphased Ito-sensei grading papers at her desk. She looks them over and smiles. “Good to see everyone is present. Take your seats, please.”

There’s a bunch of maneuvering as everyone finds their desks again, putting away their new weapons. Gakushuu looks out the window and spots a small explosion high up in the atmosphere.

Alphonse really doesn’t know the meaning of restraint.

“At least that was over quickly,” Saito offers, as they get ready for first period. “Maybe that’s a good omen for the upcoming trip to Kyoto.”

“Maybe that’s a good omen for the upcoming trip to Kyoto,” Chika mocks, as everyone hides in an abandoned shack.

“Hey, this is Amami’s fault, not mine!” Saito protests. “It’s not like I wanted to visit 1568 Kyoto!”

“I didn’t want to visit here either,” Amami admits, looking perplexed. “I’m not even sure how we got here. The gadget I was making wasn’t even meant to be a time machine.”

Ito-sensei, for her part, looks thoughtful. “Our school trip is meant to last three days. In two days, Oda Nobunaga will begin his march on Kyoto. This is an unprecedented chance to see firsthand one of the topics we’re currently studying in history.” At this, everyone perks up. It’s true - It might be spring back in the present, but here it’s early November, and they all remember that Oda marched Kyoto around this time.

The thing is, despite all the strange supernatural occurrences they face, A Class is, at heart, a bunch of nerds. Gakushuu included. Getting to study history up close and personal is an exciting prospect.

“I’ll work on a way home in the meantime,” Amami promises. Ito-sensei nods gratefully at her.

“Thank you, Amami. Alright class, does everyone remember our time-travel protocols? I’ll be going over them again, just in case - you know how important they are. Anyone who breaks them will automatically get five percent off of their final grade.”

“Yes, sensei!”

At the very least, Gakushuu thinks, this will probably be more interesting than the actual Kyoto trip would’ve been.

Chapter Text

Gakushuu’s not sure what he expected after returning from Kyoto, but every screen in the room showing pictures of a girl with purple hair and red eyes wasn’t it.

“...Emi?” Tsubara asks hesitantly.

[HI!!!!] So it’s definitely Emi then. This still explains nothing.

“Is this supposed to be what you look like?" Araki wonders.

[WHAT? NO! THIS IS RITSU!!! SHE’S THE NEW TRANSFER STUDENT IN 3E AND SHE’S SO CUTE!]

Gakushuu did hear about E class receiving a new transfer student, possibly two. One girl and one boy. Although he was pretty sure there was mention that the girl was transferring from Norway - maybe she was of mixed parentage?

A few of his classmates seem to agree with the ghosts assessment of Ritsu’s beauty though - Ren and Yuna look particularly interested.

Chika raises an eyebrow. “Looks like someone’s got a crush. Well, maybe go talk to her about it, rather than bothering us with all these pictures.”

[BUT SHE’S SO COOL AND PRETTY AND HAS ALL THESE AMAZING WEAPONS! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HER?!?]

Gakushuu pauses. “Weapons?” He tries not to look over at Amami, who suddenly seems far more interested.

[YEAH SHE’S A KILLER AI MACHINE AND SHE’S AMAZING! THERE TO ASSASSINATE THE TENTACLE MONSTER OR WHATEVER.] There’s a pause. [HOW DO I TALK TO A CUTE GIRL?]

Chika lets out a loud, long groan. Gakushuu doesn’t blame her.

“Maybe ask some of us this after class?” He says dryly. “We have work to do.”

Emi seems to pout, but does take down all the Ritsu pictures. She keeps sending new ones though, to all of their computers and phones, all throughout the day, until she changes one of their online test questions to [IS RITSU CUTE? YES OR YES] and Chika finally kicks her out of the group chat. The ghost spends the rest of the day sulking in the printer and making it smoke.

She’s finally allowed back in once school is over, and Ren gives Gakushuu a dry grin as they’re packing up their things. “A few of us are gonna stay for a bit, to try and calm Emi down and maybe give her some advice, try and get her to actually talk to Ritsu rather than bother us. Not sure it’ll work when it comes to an AI, but at least it’ll get Emi off our backs.” He lets out a dramatic sigh. “Even if it is annoying that she called dibs first. Anyways, you wanna join?”

Gakushuu levels his friend with an incredulous look. “I can think of very few things I’d like to do less.”

Ren laughs and claps him on the back. “Yeah, I figured. Couldn’t hurt to ask, though.”

At the very least, Gakushuu just hopes that this will calm Emi down.

Considering how the next day she keeps bringing up new pictures of Ritsu’s new look whenever Ito-sensei tries to pull something up on the board, and then the day after that starts gushing about how she finally worked up the courage to say hello, while overwriting the texts Gakushuu has been getting from the principal to do so, apparently not.

Dammit, Ritsu.

“Emi’s not the only one who wishes she could get to know someone in E class better,” Watanabe admits with a sigh, as Emi extols Ritsu’s virtues in the group chat. “I mean, those guys get to hang out with Mase Haruna every day. I’m so jealous.”

There was a pause, as everyone turns to look at her.

“...I’m sorry, what?” Yuu finally says. “As in the actress?”

“What other Mase Haruna would I be talking about?” Watanabe wonders. “You know I run a stan account for her, you think I couldn’t pick her out of a crowd? She’s dyed her hair green and is wearing pigtails, but it’s definitely her.”

“The green-haired girl with pigtails is on the register as Kayano Kaede,” Gakushuu recites automatically. “I’ve never seen Mase, so I don’t know if they’re the same.”

“Oh, come on!” Watanabe huffs. “I can’t be the only fan in this class!” She looks around and receives only shrugs in return.

“I think I’ve seen her in a couple shows,” Araki offers.

“There was something in the news about her taking a break from showbiz?” Yuu suggests.

Watanabe pouts. “You’re all hopeless. I’ll pull up one of the drama’s she’s been in. Then you’ll see what I mean.”

“...That’s definitely 3-E’s Kayano,” Seo admits, watching the young actor on screen. “Why’d she end up in E Class, of all places?”

“Being an actor probably makes her qualified to end up in either 3-E or 3-A,” Juno suggests.

Watanabe groans. “It’s so unfair. Why do they get her? Why couldn’t we get the cool actress?”

“Whatever the case is, try not to bring it up to her,” Gakushuu tells his classmate. “If she’s not going by Mase Haruna, then she probably doesn’t want to get recognized by fans.” Watanabe groans, but thankfully agrees.

For the first time since that one assembly where E Class’ moon-destroying teacher first showed up, Ito-sensei can’t make it to school, and Takeuchi-sensei is subbing in for her. He’s in his human disguise, which really just puts the 3-E teacher’s own piss-poor human disguise in even more perspective.

Everyone is dying to ask him some questions.

Finally, when lunch break is called, Kanada raises her hand. “Um, Takeuchi-sensei? We were wondering if you knew E Class’ newest teacher?”

Takeuchi-sensei raises an eyebrow. “Not that I’m aware of. Why would I know an E Class teacher?”

Koyama pulls up a picture he took of the moon-destroyer and shows it to him.

Takeuchi-sensei… twitches. Two more mouths form on his face. “What is th a t t h i n g?”

Oh, he seems rather pissed. Gakushuu suspected their substitute wouldn’t know the other tentacle monster, but this level of reaction is a bit surprising.

“3-E’s teacher,” Kanada repeats. “We’re pretty sure he blew up the moon?”

“W h y w o u l d I k n o w a p o o r e x c u s e f o r a (there was a rambling static here where the name of Takeuchi-sensei’s species was said)?” A few more circular mouths with those needle teeth appear on Takeuchi-sensei, and then on the walls. There are a lot more eyes than there were before, blinking at them from desks and windows and tentacles. The green and slime and distorted visage are back. “M o o n d e s t r o y e r. A B O M I N A T I O N.”

“Oof,” Kanada says sympathetically. Sorry for bringing him up, then.” Juno and Imai, meanwhile, are freeing Kita from a stray tentacle that’s popped up from the ground. Eventually, Saito just slices the thing apart with his light-katana.

Gakushuu politely raises his hand. “Sensei? I’m sorry for interrupting, but could you please return the classroom to normal? We only have a limited time to eat our lunch.”

Takeuchi-sensei doesn’t look happy about it, but he returns the room to normal, then reforms himself into his human disguise. Everyone finally takes out their lunches, and a healthy chatter fills the room.

Koyama grins at his phone. “Man, Amami’s modifications have really held up. At least my phone didn’t go the same way as Juno’s when Sensei got mad at him.”

“She really can be helpful,” Seo agrees. “Sometimes.”

“I’m still kind of curious about 3-E’s teacher, and how that ties in with Ritsu,” Ren admits. “I mean, Emi said she’s there to kill the guy, right? Seems like that could be pretty disruptive.”

[DID SOMEONE SAY RITSU!?]

Gakushuu sighs.