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Jonathan exhaled, watching as the grey smoke billowed through the crisp night air.
It fit, somehow, the dark grey of the smoke winding its long fingers through the pure silver light of the moon. He took another drag of the pipe & let out streams of wispy smoke with another exhale, entranced at its quiet beauty.
Jonathan leaned back, back resting on the wall of the sill he was currently perched upon. He set the pipe down, its embers slowly fading to dying cinders, bringing a single knee up to his chest & holding it there with his arms. He gazed back out at the moon.
Truthfully, he felt a little guilty, he had already bid Erina goodnight, gracing her cheek with a nervous kiss. He had told her he went out for a walk but instead, he had sat himself against this window in the highest, loneliest corner of the house. Jonathan felt the rare desire to be alone.
Jonathan had only ever intentionally sought out solitude once before, upon the death of his beloved pet, Danny. His young heart was so overcome with grief that he couldn’t face anyone for at least a week, though he didn’t feel normal again until a few months later.
But, despite his brush with this feeling, he couldn’t say he understood the persistent desire for solitude. Certainly, there was the odd chap he met at university who required a bit of alone time before he rejoined everyone, but, there was only one person he could think of that consistently isolated himself.
His eyes burnt with tears unshed, his throat ached with dulled pain & he felt a stabbing pain deep in his core. Jonathan rubbed his eyes, willing the pain away, bidding himself not to cry.
‘God,’ he thought, ‘I cannot so much as think about him without feeling this pain all over again.’
It felt as though Dio had ripped a hole in his chest with what he’d done, what he had become.
Jonathan shook his head. Three months in & it still didn’t feel real.
He couldn’t help it, he felt as though his memories didn’t match reality. By God, three months ago they were still in university, laughing & talking just as normal.
He couldn’t understand it, the Dio he had fought didn’t match the one he remembered.
‘Ah, but it was always this way, wasn’t it?’ Jonathan thought dropping his gaze to the now dark town below, ‘I have never understood him; he’s like a performer.’ Jonathan raised his gaze back up to the moon, ‘wearing many masks & at the very moment, you remove one you realise there’s another underneath. He always adapts to any situation saying exactly what people want to hear, I suppose that’s how he got to father.’ A small part of him said that’s how Dio got to him as well, Jonathan ignored that part.
Jonathan’s mind was scattered on the topic, it just didn’t make any sense. He remembered it clearly, three months ago, the afternoon that the two of them talked about their future, Dio seemed so excited….
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Amber light spilled in through the windows in the University dorm, the semester was winding down to an end. Jonathan was making the final edits & revisions to his thesis & Dio, currently skimming his notes across from him, was doing some last-minute study for his final exam.
He liked it when they could spend time together like this, quietly studying together. Though he noted with a small twinge of sadness that, soon, they would never spend time like this again. Soon enough both of them would be headed off to their respective professions & seeking wives with which to have children with. Between their jobs & family, they would likely be much too busy to spend time with each other anymore.
This saddened him, their friendship had come so far. But alas, there was nothing that could be done about it. Jonathan would simply enjoy the time they had left before their exams, as afterward, everyone would be so caught up in celebration it would be virtually impossible to get Dio alone. This is a shame, as Dio is most tolerable when he’s alone.
He was broken out of his thoughts by movement across the room, Dio was closing his notebook & arranging all his books in a neat stack.
“Finished already?” Jonathan asked.
Dio hummed at that, resting his cheek in his palm he looked over at him, saying, “almost, truthfully I am quite bored & judging by the process on your paper I would say you are too.”
Jonathan looked down at his paper & true to his word, the only progress being made was by the inkblot covering up his words.
Jonathan scrambled to save his work, and Dio snickered at his effort.
After a few frantic minutes, he resignedly crumpled the ruined paper, all efforts to recover it for naught.
“Are you almost done with your thesis?”
At first, he wasn’t sure if he was serious or not but he looked somewhat interested, so he told him, “almost, it just needs one or two revisions & it’s complete.”
With a calm smile, Jonathan asked, “what about you? Are you prepared for your final exam?”
A proud smirk crossed his countenance, “of course, I’ve been studying for it for months.”
He chuckled at that, of course, he already knew that Dio had started studying early for finals. Jonathan had seen his tireless work ethic firsthand back when they were competing over academic success.
That was one of the reasons he admired him, despite all his posturing around his success being effortless (& to a degree it was), he always worked very hard to achieve his goals. It was a trait that Jonathan couldn’t fault, no matter how he felt about the man sitting across from him.
Jonathan’s smile faded to a sadder, wistful one saying, “it’s strange to think that in a matter of weeks we will have gotten our degrees & begun our adult life.”
Dio seemed surprised at the sudden shift in mood, “my, who would have thought you’d have the ability to be so wistful?”
He was being sarcastic but Jonathan couldn’t ignore the underlying mocking tone in that comment, defending himself he retorted in earnest, “hey! It’s hard not to think about it, people are already starting to say goodbye to each other!”
Dio’s face had a slightly confused look, “you know we’ll still see each other, right?”
He averted his eyes, smile faded, “we may not. We’ll both be headed off to our respective professions & starting families of our own. We will likely be too busy to see each other, especially with you planning on moving away.” Jonathan met his gaze, for once, Dio was quiet, listening to him with an unreadable expression. He continued, “even if we do see each other again, it won’t be like this.”
Dio was quiet for a moment that stretched on, seemingly forever. He was afraid that he may have said too much before, graceful as ever, Dio smirked.
“Oh, are you saying you enjoy my company then?” He practically had whiplash from how quick the tone had changed again.
Before he could say anything, he was interrupted, “you speak with such adamant certitude at what the future holds, it’s almost laughable.”
Dio’s face rested once more against his palm, with a mischievous smirk he continued, “Honestly, running straight off to our jobs & starting families, don’t you know life is never that straightforward?”
Jonathan could tell he was being mocked again, he defended himself hotly, “it’s a reasonable concern.”
Dio sneered at that, closing his eyes he said “honestly, I never pegged you as the dramatic type.”
Opening his eyes to meet his gaze once more, his eyes had an unreadable energy, “if you want me around, I’ll stay around.”
Despite the strange tone, that made Jonathan feel better, he supposed also that Dio was right. Perhaps he was being too serious & fatalistic about the whole thing, they wouldn’t fall out of touch unless he let them. There really was no way of telling what the future holds, though he still found the rest of their adult lives waiting for them after graduation to be daunting.
Although, no one ever said they had to run straight off to their adult lives. That’s when it hit him.
Jonathan jumped up, suddenly excited, Dio jumped slightly at the sudden movement, instinctively taking a slightly defensive stance. Jonathan took his hands into his, bending his massive form to better meet his eyes.
“You’re right, we don’t have to go straight to our adult lives after we graduate.”
“I know, that’s why I said it.” Dio made a small effort to take back his hands but he held on tight for the time being.
“But that’s just it, I had a brilliant idea!”
Dio looked thoroughly unamused, a dark tone of anger seeping into his voice, “And what would that be”
“After we graduate, why don’t we go on a sabbatical, just the two of us!”
Jonathan was nervous that Dio would say no or get angry at him, Dio was silent for a beat but it looked like he was successful. Dio’s expression had softened, his interest successfully piqued, Dio slid his hands out of his grip & brought one to his chin, seemingly mulling it over.
Shooting a questioning look his way he quietly said, “a sabbatical hmm?”
“Yeah,” he responded with a smile, “we could travel all over the world if we wanted to.”
Frankly, he was glad that he had even taken a second to consider, so naturally, he was simply giddy when Dio rose to his feet, pacing as he thought it over.
Tilting his head to face him he asked, “wouldn’t your father mind?”
“No, in fact, I’m sure he would have no problem funding our trip either.”
Dio hummed at that before turning to face him, crossing his arms across his chest he asked, “alright, but where exactly would we go?”
Jonathan felt jubilant, he could see a smile tugging at the corners of Dio’s lips, despite his best efforts to hide it, he was excited about it too. ‘I can see right through you Dio,’ Jonathan thought with an uncharacteristic cheekiness.
He responded, “we could go pretty much anywhere we like, perhaps France, Germany, the Americas…”
He petered off, thinking over possible locations for their trip.
“Hmm, well I wouldn’t mind going to France, though I’d probably have to brush up on my French.”
“Maybe we could also go to Egypt?” He said with a hopeful lilt, Dio rolled his eyes at that.
“Fine, we can go to your beloved Egypt if you must. Though Italy wouldn’t be too bad either.”
Jonathan was elated, “ooh that would be great, I would love to see the ruins of Pompeii.”
Dio didn’t look nearly as thrilled but nevertheless conceded, “ugh, fine, so long as it doesn’t turn into an archaeology lecture while we’re there.”
Jonathan laughed before promising not to, defending himself afterward saying that the topic was interesting. Dio rolled his eyes at that too.
Soon enough they were parting ways with a list of places to visit; Jonathan promised he would speak to his father about the matter, though he suspected it wouldn’t be difficult & Dio said he would start arranging things as he didn’t trust him with the task.
The conversation had left him surprised & in a calmer, festive mood. The sabbatical had been a spur-of-the-moment thought & now he was actually going to do it. On top of that, Dio seemed just as excited. Jonathan would be eagerly anticipating the trip for a while to come, their relationship had only improved as they grew, especially in the close quarters of university. He could only imagine how close they would become on their trip.
Though he felt a gnawing sense of guilt, he felt selfish for wanting it to be just the two of them. He couldn’t help but want to have Dio all to himself on the trip, he felt light-headed just at the thought of it. ‘Though,’ he reminded himself, ‘Dio is much easier to deal with when he’s alone, other people would only get in the way. Besides, it’s not selfish to want to be alone with your brother’ (even though he never thought of Dio as his brother).
He shook his head chuckling at himself, there he was being dramatic again, this was a happy occasion it was not the time for over-thinking. They would have fun on this trip, despite its suddenness, Jonathan supposed that Dio was right, life is not so straightforward it always has a way of surprising you.
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Jonathan chuckled mirthlessly at the memory, his chest felt empty when he thought about it & his head throbbed with wave after wave of confusion. ‘Dio seemed excited too, he seemed like he genuinely wanted to go on that sabbatical with me.’ Jonathan knew this to be true, as, a few weeks later they came together. Jonathan had secured approval from his father & Dio had come up with more concrete plans. Jonathan’s father was glad that the boys were getting along so well, though he was sick & bedridden, he had wished them a good trip.
But then, why would Dio do that, just to get his hopes up? Why would he make plans for the future if he planned on throwing it all away?
Jonathan’s eyes were burning again & he was finding it hard to breathe. He was certain that Dio’s feelings were genuine, had he been pretending that long? Had he been fooled so thoroughly?
‘God, Dio must be the best actor on Earth’ Jonathan thought in uncharacteristic bitterness, ‘he deserves an award for that performance.’
‘Yes, he is much like the performers of old, wearing many masks. Each mask is like a different personality’ his eyes were stinging yet again, it felt as though a clamp was slowly tightening across his chest. His thoughts seem to portray reality, he recalled the Dio that dragged him out of bed when he was still mourning Danny, the Dio who drove him to greater academic heights & helped him when he was confused about a concept they had learned & he remembers still, the Dio who he could rely on to always catch the ball when he threw it his way.
But then, there was that darker side of Dio, much like a great beast hiding under the surface of a dark ocean, it would occasionally appear. That was the Dio he first met, cruel, arrogant, mocking & utterly malevolent.
Jonathan thinks that, perhaps, it was always there, like when Dio would get frustrated when he kept failing to understand a problem he had already explained, as though it was behind every smirk & every mocking comment he had assumed to be sarcastic. ‘Was I deceived so thoroughly by this dark monster that lived within him?’
It was then that murderous eyes filled with blood came into his mind, he tried not to think about it, but the memory kept coming. A silver moon, the perfect backdrop for alabaster skin, topped by hair of golden flax blowing gently in the breeze, he was changed, inhuman. Dio was beautiful, but cold, like some great & terrible ghost. Jonathan supposed this was the final evolution of that dark Dio he had first met, one taken to its natural conclusion.
Jonathan took a shaky exhale then quickly took another drag on the pipe, letting himself be eased by the tobacco. ‘It seems as though Dio was fighting against something dark within him, & that thing won.’ He tilted his head back, flush with the sill, head facing the ceiling. He exhaled again, easing his mind, another memory came…