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"Alright, the baby was not part of the plan," Edward declared in a laconic tone of voice prior Batman blamed him for the... unexpected novelty.
Bruce's metallic blue eyes narrowed. He had removed his cowl, exposing his handsome face and his eyes circled of black makeup.
"Indeed. And... what now?"
"I don't know! As I told you, Stephanie was not part of the plan."
"Stephanie?"
"... I dug into the Browns' files: identity papers, history registered on the Internet, former schools, former jobs, informations logged in the GCPD's database about her drug dealer of a father and her suicidal junkie of a mother. Her parents are terrible people. She is two months old, doesn't have medical conditions, is just a bit undernourished because I don't believe someone like Crystal Brown breastfed her newborn enough before switching to milk powder."
The adults watched the blonde girl who fell asleep, like a baby bird, in the middle of an extra fluffy nest of pillows Edward arranged on the large bed of one of the bedrooms in this apartment. Whenever Riddler works with Batman on cases, he is legally placed under his entire responsibility, and because he knows his identity... Bruce takes him to an hideout and hosts him there for the nights during the weeks he spends outside Arkham asylum to assist him on investigations.
Their current affair revolved around a Riddler copycat going by 'Cluemaster', Eddie found out his home location today and went there by himself while Batman was busy taking down another threat elsewhere in town.
Arthur Brown was not at his house, Crystal had passed out on the living room under her daily cocaine intake... What Ed hadn't expected, was to discover the existence of another member of the Brown family.
One thing certain is that Bruce didn't predict he will return to their shared 'home' to see... a baby Eddie felt like he couldn't leave behind at the grim Brown household.
"I have no idea what to do," Ed whined some more. "This being said... she is super duper cute, don't you think?"
"... Indeed..."
Batman and Riddler contemplated the sleeping form. The minuscule living being was sound asleep, her tiny chest raising and falling in rhythm with her regular breathing. They don't have baby equipment in their apartment, Eddie grabbed what he found at the Brown home to bring it here and already projected to go to the nearest stores buy additional supplies.
In the mean time Bruce agreed she looked particularly... sweet...
That is, until she woke up by screaming at the top of her lungs.
And didn't calm down when Eddie lifted her up and rocked her in his arms. She shouted to the point the two men felt like their eardrums will explode.
"Bruce, quick... ask Google! Find something to make her stop crying!"
After successive attempts at calming the angry ball of wrath, they finally gave her a baby bottle full of milk. That distracted her from the endless noisy protests.
Later on, Batman did the sensible thing: he called for back-up.
"What is it, master Bruce?" His butler interrogated from the other side of the phone. "You sound... tired."
"I am," he answered: he felt worn out, sitting on the couch next to Ed who held Stephanie in his arms.
Both were exhausted after only a few hours babysitting.
"Alfred... do you have tips on how to take care of a newborn?"
"A newborn?"
"Yes... I will explain everything later... We are in a bit of a 'situation' here."
Alfred hardly refrained his laughter. Ever since Bruce took Edward Nashton under his wing, things became... peculiar, down there.
But always very entertaining.
Hence, life now decided to introduce Bruce and Edward to... the many joys of parenting.