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She hadn't left her room since Friday. As the sun rose on Monday, she felt the fear and hopelessness spread all throughout her limbs. She was running out of time, she could just feel it.
Opening her email, she sent her teacher a quick message explaining that she'd likely be absent for a few days. Maybe she'd be gone forever, but she felt like that would be a bit too dark or worrying for an email like that. The last thing Mikan wanted was to make a scene.
Besides, it might be a bit concerning if the ultimate nurse suddenly fell sick.
The rest of her day she spent asleep, to make up for her sleepless night. It was hard to lie still when it felt like she couldn't breathe, but she was so tired that it no longer mattered.
She was a pretty heavy sleeper, so she didn't hear the knocking on the door, the gentle creak of it opening, or the soft footsteps leading to her bed. When she woke up, she found a small stack of papers on her nightstand next to where her phone was charging. On top was a blue sticky note. Pulling it off, she began to read the message she had been left.
"Ms. Yukizome needed someone to bring you your assignments from today, so here they are! You were asleep when I got here, so I just left them here," the note read, with a little stylized smiley face on the bottom corner. It wasn't signed, so Mikan had no way of telling who it was that had stopped by. If she hadn't been so tired, she probably could've recognized the distinct doodling style of one of her classmates.
She got to work, trying her best to do the work she had received.
It was already Tuesday and Mikan still hadn't ventured out of her room. She lay curled up in her bed, tears dried on her cheeks. She wanted to just get up and go on with her life, but that could only make things worse. Maybe she should just give up and die, just get it over with already. It's not like her classmates would miss her too much.
She tried to stay awake the best she could, but by 2 pm she had passed out again. Yet again, she failed to notice what was going on around her. Yet again, she woke up to a stack of papers and a note, this time with a textbook under all of it. She picked up the sticky note, which was pink this time, and read it.
"I got you your stuff again! I hope you don't mind that I got your textbook from your locker, we need it for math." This time, there was a sketch of a cat in the corner. It was clearly from the same person as yesterday, but Mikan still failed to recognize the handwriting she should've known so well.
Again, she set to work. However, her cough had gotten worse, which made things a bit more challenging.
~~~~
Ibuki was starting to get a little worried. She couldn't remember a single day that Mikan had skipped school due to some illness. Usually, she'd just tough it out and try not to complain, or she just wouldn't get sick in the first place.
She honestly was starting to feel like a bad friend. The week before, she had noticed that the nurse was a little shaky and that she seemed to be a bit out of breath. It didn't seem bad at the time, but maybe she'd overexerted herself and made it worse. Maybe Ibuki should've done something, anything, to try and help.
She began her walk to Mikan's dorm, which was conveniently close to her own room as well as the lockers. She knocked on the door for the second time that week but again got no response. Walking in, she found her friend asleep again.
The blanket was pushed onto the floor, probably from restless tossing and turning, but the girl appeared to be shivering. Reaching down, she grabbed it and draped it over Mikan. Ibuki could've been imagining things, but she could've sworn that she seemed more at peace the moment she did.
She left after writing her note, not wanting to stay too long uninvited.
The next day, she couldn't help but think about Mikan. Ibuki knew that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she was the ultimate nurse after all, but that didn't calm her anxiety. She couldn't help but worry that there could be something terribly wrong.
She paid even less attention to class than usual, which probably wasn't good for her grades. The last bell rang and she practically dashed to the front of the room to get Mikan's assignments.
She didn't bother to knock this time, figuring that the other girl would be asleep again. She walked in to see a very surprised nurse sitting up in bed, staring directly at her.
"Oh, sorry! Ibuki didn't mean to barge in." She reached behind her to shut the door as she spoke. "I have your stuff again today." She was careful to keep her voice low so she didn't cause too much of a disturbance.
"Oh, it was you this whole time?" Mikan asked sleepily.
"Yep! Ibuki was gonna use a purple sticky note today if you had been asleep again," she said, holding up the block of purple papers. Setting the assignments down, she asked, "May I sit on the bed?"
"Yeah." She seemed kind of sad, maybe a little distant. Her usually bright eyes seemed duller, though it could've been a trick of the light.
"You okay?" the musician asked in an even softer tone.
"I'm fi-" she cut herself off with a violent cough. She clearly was not fine.
"You're coughing up... purple blood? That doesn't seem fine!" Her voice was probably a little louder than it should've been, and she felt a twinge of regret after seeing the more timid girl flinch. "Have you told anyone anything? Contacted a doctor maybe?" Despite not knowing much about the human body, she probably should've known that purple blood didn't exist.
"N-no, I haven't." Before she could react, Mikan went on to mutter, "That wouldn't help anyways..." Her gaze was fixed on her hand.
Ibuki followed her line of sight down to the tissue nestled in the palm of her hand. She let out a gasp when she saw what was there: A singular flower. It wasn't purple blood she had seen, it had been that. A pale purple blossom, three long delicate petals branching out with pointed tips curling slightly down.
She had only ever seen the white ones, and even then they were only ever growing up by her grandparents' cabin. Her grandma had taught her the name, which she had remembered all these years because she thought it sounded pretty. It was a trillium.
"So... it's..." Her words seemed to fail her as she stared.
"Hanahaki." Just one word, so quiet it was almost a whisper.
It was one of the worst things that could happen to someone. One of the most tragic ways a person could die.
Nature truly was cruel.
The next thing she knew, Ibuki had instinctively pulled Mikan into a hug, trying to tell her that it was going to be okay, that it was going to be fine, and that she was going to have a happy ending. She just couldn't bring herself to lie, so no words would come out.
Ibuki had stayed with her all night, trying anything and everything to make her friend feel better, but it hadn't seemed to work. Mikan acted like she had already accepted her death, which wasn't good.
Maybe her unrequited did like her back, maybe Mikan just convinced herself it wasn't possible. Maybe if Ibuki found them, she could ask and maybe then there would be a chance. Ibuki knew that with the nurse's highly ironic fear of surgery, she'd never opted to get the flowers removed that way. Besides, if you did it that way it was like you had lost a part of yourself. You could no longer love. At least aromatic people wouldn't have that worry, but then again they probably wouldn't end up coughing up flowers in the first place.
She had resolved by lunchtime that she was going to find out who Mikan loved, one way or another.
~~~~
She had told Ms. Yukizome that Mikan was really sick and that she probably wouldn't be back for a long while. Of course, that wasn't the whole truth, but it hadn't been lying either. She asked her teacher to only tell people if they came and asked. She didn't want anyone to fake any sort of worry over this, besides, announcing it would cause a scene, and Mikan hates big scenes if they involve her.
She did still grab the assignments, partly because Mikan might appreciate the busy work but mainly because it made it seem like she would come back to school eventually.
Cracking the door open, she stepped inside the dark room yet again. It was somehow comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. She set the assignments on the usual spot and sat on the bed.
"I guess I don't get a chance to use those purple sticky notes, huh?" Ibuki joked as she made herself more comfortable. "Anyways, do you need anything? Like a water bottle refill or anything?" Looking at the aforementioned water bottle, she noticed that it appeared to be in the same position and at the same water level as it had been the last time she saw it.
"You haven't been drinking water, have you?"
Her question prompted a slight shake of the nurse's head, a clear no. She didn't seem too proud of herself.
"Have you been eating?"
Again, she got a head shake in response. Mikan spoke up softly, "I don't have much of an appetite..."
"Okay, let's go. Ibuki's gonna take you to the kitchen to get some food."
Mikan tried to protest, but all of her excuses were shot down. She knew she needed to eat. Besides, she didn't really want to spend her last days cooped up in her room.
Ibuki guided the taller girl all the way to the kitchen, careful not to go too fast for her. They arrived at their destination and the musician opened the door to allow both of them to enter.
"Oh, hi guys!" the ultimate gymnast called out as soon as she saw the pair. "What's up?"
"Just getting some food." Ibuki busied herself looking for something Mikan might enjoy.
Turning her attention to Mikan, she asked, "Hey, are you feeling better? I asked where you were and Ms. Yukizome said you were out sick."
"I-I'm fine, don't worry."
"That's good to hear!"
Mikan was obviously not fine, but she didn't want to be the one to ruin everyone's good mood.
There were two other girls in the kitchen as well, but they seemed preoccupied with trying to figure out the fryer. Mikan didn't know them by name, but she recognized them as her lower-classmen.
"Aoi and Sakura are trying to make doughnuts with me if you want to help with that."
The five of them successfully worked together to figure out how doughnuts worked using a combination of basic knowledge and the internet. They sat and chatted for a while afterward, enjoying their snack. If you walked into the room just then, you probably wouldn't be able to tell that one of them was slowly dying.
"So, when you planning to come back to class?" Akane asked between bites.
"Ah, well... I'm not really sure..."
"Well, hopefully it's soon. The other girls and I are really starting to miss you."
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course! You're our friend, aren't you?"
This conversation did make Mikan feel a bit better, but the realization that she probably wasn't going back brought her to tears. She thought she had accepted her own mortality by now, but apparently not.
"Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" Akane asked as she saw the tears falling, walking over to put her hand on the girl's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.
Ibuki came over and pulled her into a hug, trying to empathize with a feeling she hoped to never feel herself. She placed her hand on the back of the nurse's head, pulling her closer to her chest while also being careful not to hurt her in any way.
Mikan managed to compose herself enough to speak and said, "I just didn't realize that... you all... actually cared about me... I'm sorry for reacting like that."
The pair continued to assure her that she was in fact a valued classmate and a wonderful friend while the other two people continued to make more doughnuts, which they brought over to share. What better way to feel better than to eat comfort foods among people you can trust?
As they were walking back to the dorm room a few hours later, Ibuki decided that she had made up her mind. If she didn't ask now, she might never get another chance.
"Mikan, who's your unrequited?"
You could tell she hadn't been anticipating the question by her facial expression and the way she stammered, "Wh-what?"
"Y'know, the person you're in love with. If you tell me who it is, I can try and help you!"
"N-no, that wouldn't work."
"It might! There's a chance they like you back and you've just convinced yourself that there was no way they could like you!" She stopped walking in the middle of the hallway, then continued, "Just like how you were convinced that Akane and all of our other classmates didn't consider you a friend until earlier today."
"Look, th-this case is different, Ibuki..."
"No, it's not! You could just be caught up in your own thoughts, there are plenty of reasons why someone could like you, you just don't see yourself the way other people do."
"No there aren't. You're just lying to make me feel better, to make me feel like I have a chance!"
"No, I promise I'm not!"
Now starting to cry again, she asked dejectedly, "Look, can we please not talk about this. I've already accepted that I'm going to die. There's no point in trying to make it better. Some things just can't be fixed."
"Alright, I'll drop it for now, if that's what you really want," Ibuki answered after about a minute of silence, a sad tone to her words. She took a few steps toward Mikan and brought her hand to her face to wipe away the forming tears. "I just want to try and help. I don't care if it's hopeless, I just don't want you to give up for no reason."
The hallway seemed to have gotten longer, probably due to their emotions messing with their sense of time. In reality, it had only taken a minute at most to get to the door of the ultimate nurse's dorm room, but it felt like at least a quarter of an hour.
Ibuki's hand reached out towards the doorknob, pulling it open and gesturing for Mikan to enter. She did so after a half-second of hesitation, but stopped and turned around a few steps in.
"I guess this is goodnight," Ibuki said softly, the sadness extremely evident in her statement. She contemplated giving the taller girl a hug but decided that that might not be a good idea, so she settled for a wave. She turned on her heel and tried not to consider the fact that this might not only be goodnight but their last goodbye as well, although the tears threatening to spill out from her eyes betrayed the fact that she at least understood the possibility. Besides, if Mikan refused help, there wasn't really much else she could do.
She hesitated a bit before going to close the door, but in that short moment, she felt the impact of someone slamming into her back and the gentle hug of the arms that were now suddenly wrapped around her chest.
"Please... don't leave me..." the weak voice pleaded with her, the shakiness of the words revealing that she, too, was holding back tears for similar reasons. Of course, the musician had no reason to say no, so she turned around yet again and walked into the room with her friend.
They both started to get ready for bed as well as they could manage with both of them tired and emotionally drained. They both kept mostly silent, and often times the only sounds that were heard were the rustling of clothes or the water running in the sink. Mikan had set out an extra pair of pajamas for Ibuki to change into. She could technically walk down the hall to get her own clothing, but that meant leaving, even if only for a short period of time.
"Hey, do you have any spare blankets? I can set up somewhere for me to sleep on the couch," Ibuki asked softly, gesturing to the piece of furniture she was referencing.
"I can't make you sleep on the couch!" Mikan wanted Ibuki to be comfortable. After all, it was her fault that she was robbed of the comfort of her own room and bed. "Uhm, you could sleep in the bed with me, if you're comfortable with that, that is..."
Ibuki gave her a warm smile to let her know that she was completely fine with the idea, and so they both practically collapsed into the bed.
Ibuki may have been super tired, but she still was a bit anxious. Friends were still allowed to cuddle, right?
The arrangement made Ibuki long for the chance to do this every night, but she knew it could never happen. It seemed selfish to act on her feelings now, especially since she was now so committed to helping Mikan get with her one true love. If only the universe could cut them some slack and make all the problems go away.
"What if... what if my unrequited is unrequited after all? What then?" The question was unexpected, breaking through solid layers of silence all at once.
Ibuki tried her hardest to give her an answer that wouldn't make her despair, but her words failed her.
"Ibuki, I'm scared." Her voice shook, but she wasn't crying. At least not yet. "I don't want to die, not yet," she mumbled softly, volume barely above a whisper. Her head then buried itself into the other girl's chest as she felt a hand reach around to cradle her head.
"Well, I'm not going to let you. You can trust Ibuki!" She put a bit of pep into her words, trying to prove to the both of them that it wasn't an empty promise. "Hey, if you don't want to tell me who it is, can I guess?" Even though she couldn't see her nod in the darkness, she felt it.
She let herself get lost in thought, trying to think of who on earth it could be, even though it pained her deep down to think that Mikan might like anyone other than her. It was hard trying to pick apart all of her relationships with their classmates, although she knew some crushes didn't need too much of a reason to start developing.
"Well, I know it can't be me. If it were you wouldn't have this problem in the first pla-" She tried catching herself, but it was too late. The words had left her mouth. There was no trying to hide it. She clasped her hand over her mouth, trying to stop herself from messing up even more.
Now the tears came. Mikan pushed herself up into a sitting position. She could feel her heart pounding at a worrying rate. It couldn't be true, could it?
"You're lying." She didn't want to believe her own words, but she forced herself to. "Y-You figured it out already, y-you're lying to make me feel better." She tried to make out the other girl's facial expression in the dark, but she couldn't. Her emotions were starting to get the better of her.
Ibuki, on the other hand, was caught up in a mixture of laughing and sobbing.
"It was me... this whole time. Oh, I'm such an idiot!" She had also sat up by then. She pressed her hand to her face in realization.
Mikan still didn't want to believe it. She couldn't. It was too good to be true, it was impossible. Ibuki wouldn't love someone like her. But then-
Oh.
Oh, this was new. A feeling of warmth spread throughout her shaking limbs and it was like a massive weight had been gently hoisted off of her chest. The butterflies in her stomach suddenly burst forth from their cocoons all at once, fluttering rapidly. Her mind raced as it set to work disproving all of the lies that she had just told herself.
Ibuki was kissing her.
Her world righted itself, she was at peace. She could die happy then and there.
The musician pulled back, her furious blushing noticeable even in the darkness. Their eyes locked on one another, the brief silence was anything but uncomfortable.
"I-I'm sorry, I should've asked," Ibuki stammered, wanting to avert her eyes but finding herself unable to do so.
"N-No, just, uhm," She couldn't find words to explain, still caught up in the thrill of the moment. Wanting it to last longer, she threw her arms around her beloved's neck.
Now it was Mikan's turn to initiate the kiss.
Ibuki let her hands roam, choosing to drape them around the other girl's waist. Her hands pulled the timid nurse closer, wanting to wrap her up in an embrace and protect her forever from the world that at first had seemed so against them. Fate had brought them together and neither of them wanted to let that go.
The musician smiled into the kiss and pressed her forehead against Mikan's.
"So... girlfriends?" she asked, not feeling the need to make her question too wordy.
"Yes, please." The shyer girl rested her cheek on Ibuki's chest once again, feeling comforted by the heartbeat she could hear.
"Yay! Ibuki is sooo happy," she proclaimed, sounding excited but still being careful to not be too loud. Mikan was somewhat relieved to hear her speaking in the third person again, usually she only dropped the habit when she was sad or upset, or when it was a serious conversation.
"I guess now I don't have to be afraid of dying, at least not yet." These words comforted Ibuki the instant they were said. She had done it, she had saved the only girl she'd ever loved, just like she promised she would. The outcome also turned out a lot better than she could ever have dreamed.
They cuddled up together, content and comfortable, ready to fall asleep. They slept peacefully, their breathing and heartbeats in sync, undisturbed by neither dreams nor nightmares nor outside forces.
The next morning, the pair were awoken by the warm sunlight, which painted pinkish-orange stripes as it filtered through the blinds. It was still early, so they were pretty tempted to fight consciousness and fall back asleep in each other's arms once more. However, a quick glance at the clock on the nightstand told them that the alarm would be going off in a little under half an hour, so there was no point in staying in bed.
"Does Mikan feel up to going to school today?" Ibuki asked, brushing a few stray hairs behind her girlfriend's ear.
"Mhmm," she mumbled in response, trying to shake the grogginess from her mind.
They got out of bed, moving somewhat slowly, to get ready for the upcoming day. Ibuki left the room once to retrieve her uniform, then immediately returned as soon as she had changed.
Glancing at the clock, they checked that they were in fact on time.
"You ready? Oh, remember your assignments!" Ibuki asked and then exclaimed. Mikan quickly went to gather them up, with Ibuki close behind to offer assistance. Papers and books in their grasp, the remains of what couldn't be fit into their school bags, they each ended up with one hand free.
However, those hands did not remain free as they found each other. The girls walked out, hand-in-hand, to the first day of the start of their lives as a couple.
They did have to explain a few things to their classmates, and Mikan did have to start getting used to surprise cheek kisses throughout the day, but to them, it couldn't get more perfect.