Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“You look beautiful.”

Kate Sharma ran her gloved fingers down the ivory silk of her dress, running them over the crystal beads and pearls sewn into the fabric. The sleeves and train of her dress were embroidered with gold swirls, with the slightest hint of blue and purple. The dress was breathtaking. Kate felt like an imposter in it, staring at a stranger in the mirror.

“I feel like a prized peacock.” Kate frowned at the ridiculous feather perched on the top of her head.

London was abysmal.

Oh, how she missed Somerset.

The fresh country air that filled her lungs with life, her comfortable, non-suffocating dresses, riding freely astride not under surveillance.

Kate met Sophie’s gaze in the mirror over her shoulder and gave her a small, weak smile. The diamond tiara attached to the feather sitting on top of her head shifted slightly, the weight of it already giving Kate a headache. It was the tiara or the tight braids woven around her head in an up-do Mary spent an hour doing.

“I wish you could be there.”

Sophie smiled back sadly. “Me too.”

Sophie Beckett was Kate’s dearest friend. Her sister, in all ways that matters. Edwina, Kate’s biological sister, and Sophie were Kate’s only friends, truly. They had grown up together. She had known Sophie since birth, her father had been Kate’s mother’s first cousin.

Sophie was born as the illegitimate child of an Earl and Lillian Terrence, a maid, who had died giving birth to her.

That had never mattered to the Sharmas but society was not as kind.

Sophie lived the first six years of her life as her father’s ward until his death. Her father had married a cruel woman with a cruel daughter. Sophie had always spent the holidays and summers with the Sharmas, always arriving with a sad smile that grew brighter until it broke the day she had to leave.

When Kate was ten years old, their father had left for two weeks. When he returned, he had a ten year old Sophie with him and announced she would be living with them from now on. The Sharmas were ecstatic. It raised eyebrows and whispers, even in the small town of Somerset where they grew up. Papa and Mama ignored them. Taking care of one’s family took precedent above all else.

It was only years later Kate was told the truth of why Sophie came to live with them, the severity of the abuse Sophie suffered under her stepmother and sisters’ evil hands. Kate’s parents had never forgiven themselves for not discovering it sooner. Kate had barely seen Sophie for two years after her father’s death before she arrived for good. Her stepmother had always claimed Sophie needed to be with her family in their unusually long period of mourning.

Instead, she was hidden away. Forced to be their servant. Never home when the Sharmas had called when they were in town. On the rare, short occasion they did see Sophie, she was as quiet as a mouse.

“I will find a suitable match this season.” Kate implored, joining her friend on her bed and squeezing her hand. “He will be tolerable and wealthy so I can take care of you all. You will be protected. You will never have to pretend to be anyone but yourself ever again.”

“A suitable match? That is hardly romantic,” Sophie scolded playfully but the concern was evident on her face as she shook her head. “Kate. I am content. I have you all. Your happiness is my concern. Your happiness should be your top priority this season.”

“Your, Mary and Edwina’s happiness and security are my top priorities this season. Everything else is just trivial.” Kate stated decisively, pulling at her bodice and trying to think of something to say to change the subject. Sophie was the only one who knew somewhat of Kate’s true intentions this season, Mary and Edwina were completely in the dark. It would break their hearts if they knew.

Sophie leaned forward, her doe-like blue eyes full of concern. “It pains me to see you this way. If only you would reconsider your objectives this season. See this season in a new light. Kitty, whatever happens, I will be okay. I am not your responsibility.”

“Never say that,” Kate half pleaded, her eyes blurry as she softly pulled Sophie to her side, prompting her to lay her head on Kate’s shoulder as she stroked her hair. “You are as much my sister as Edwina is. I am so sorry I am doing this to you. You deserve so much more than this.”

The weight of her responsibilities and the repercussions of her potential failures for her season weighed on Kate’s shoulders heavily.

She had to succeed.

Sophie would be known as their distant cousin of the Sheffields, Kate’s mother’s family, who had come to live with them after her parent’s deaths. It was technically true, Sophie was a distant cousin of Kates. Kate had no other family remaining, they were all dead. Including her own mother. The Sheffield line ended with Kate. A faint, distant memory. One Kate did not even possess.

Her mother had been estranged from her small family before she passed except for Sophie’s father. He had come to the Sharmas when Sophie was born for help. Kate could not remember her mother, she was barely three when she died. Mary had soon become her stepmother, but she was her Mama in every way that mattered.

Mary, Edwina and Sophie were the only family she had left. She would protect them at all costs.

They had practiced their lie for weeks, knowing exactly what to say and how to respond. No one could not know who Sophie truly was. Society was not kind to illegitimate children, especially one of Earls. Nor kind to families that harbored them.

Sophie had to be disguised to protect her, to avoid scandal and too many questions being asked.

If the truth were to come out, scandal would ensue.

If anyone inquired into why Sophie was not debuting, they would say they were focused on Kate having a successful season. It was a feeble explanation but it was all they had. If pressed for more explanations, financial matters would only allow for Kate to debut.

That was also true. Their family had lived a comfortable life but financially, they had been struggling for years. Their wealth had declined significantly before Papa’s death and every penny had been saved for this season. Kate’s season was the only one they could barely afford, a marriage an essential ending result. This was her only chance to save her family.

Kate would get married and ensure their family’s security. Sophie’s safety, especially. Then, Mary, Edwina and Sophie would go back to Somerset until Edwina’s debut. Their estate was Kate’s dowry. They would be safe and protected by Kate’s husband’s title and wealth. Kate would join them when she knew of her circumstances, married couples did not always live together for the year.

The marriage Kate had planned did not involve that type of love. Not the one her parents shared. It was not something she could risk.

Kate would be playing pretend too. Pretending to be someone she was not. Smiling and nodding along, not arguing back, every hair in place. The perfect debutante.

“Kate,” Sophie admonished, shaking her head and clutching at her hands. “You must stop blaming yourself. I am content with our situation. This is not your doing. You are protecting me. If I have to pretend to be with you all, that is a small price to pay for being with my family. It is only for the season. What I am not content with is the burden this is placing on you. What you are doing and risking for me, it means everything.”

Papa was gone now. It was Kate’s responsibility to take care of them all. A suitable marriage would solve that. There was no space for happiness or love, just security and practicality. Her future husband would live his life and Kate would live hers.

Kate blinked back tears. “I would do anything for you, Fifi.”

“And I you.”

“Your happiness is everything to me. You are my best friend and my family. No matter what anyone says.”

“As are you,” Sophie whispered, turning on her back on the bed to stare up at Kate. “You all have given me the family I have dreamed of. Which is why I wish for you to be happy. Will you please promise to try? Try to find that happiness? That is all I ask.”

“I promise,” Kate lied through her teeth, smiling tightly at Sophie before she stood up again to inspect herself in the mirror. A love match was something that had never been on the cards for Kate. She had long made her peace with that. “Is this corset meant to be so tight? I can scarcely breathe.”

The tight, gripping feeling in her chest was not just the fault of her tightly pulled corset. Today was the day, the day she had been dreading in her one and twenty years. Her debut to London society.

“I believe the men of London like a snatched waist.” Sophie giggled, her blonde hair spread out across Kate’s bed cover.

If Sophie or Edwina were debuting today, there was no doubt in Kate’s mind they would be crowned the diamond. They had a sparkle about them. Their inner and outer beauty was something to be marveled at.

Kate preferred to stay out of the spotlight. Not that it ever veered towards her. She was content with her position. Compared to them, she was simply not comparable.

She was just Kate.

Kate scowled. “They sound feral.”

“I hate the idea of everyone staring as I walk towards the Queen,” Kate admitted, running her hands again down her dress. There was not a crinkle on the fabric, it was as perfect as it could be. “What if I trip?”

“I think they will be busy staring at something else entirely,” Sophie said, biting her lip to hold back her smile. “That corset really flatters your bosom. I must borrow it.”

Kate gasped. “Sophie!”

Sophie wiggled her eyebrows with a playful smile. “The men of London will be very appreciative.”

Kate threw a pillow at her. “That is not how a lady talks!”

“I am quite jealous.” Sophie stared down at her chest and sighed. “Mine just gave up on growing.”

They both burst into laughter, the euphoric joy momentarily easing the gnawing anxiety sitting in her stomach. Kate was laughing so hard she had to hold onto the bloody feather perched on the top of her head to steady it. She brushed a tear from her eye, smiling widely at Sophie.

How was Kate going to survive the parties and balls without her?

“Is that my favourite sound I hear?” Mary Sharma said, opening up the doors and beaming at Kate and Sophie as she entered the bedroom. She glowed in the cream dress tailored for today’s ceremony. “Are we ready?”

“Oh Kate,” Edwina gushed, following in after their mother and smiling widely. She was dressed in a white frock for the ceremony, looking like an angel. She hugged her eldest sister before joining Sophie on the bed, wrapping her arms around her. “I only wish I could ever be as beautiful as you are.”

Kate smiled softly at her little sister, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Edwina had always been the beautiful one. Even at sixteen, five years younger than Kate, she was breathtaking. Her full lips, her kind brown, round brown eyes and long, fine black hair. Kate would do anything for her sister and that included saving her from debuting too young.

Edwina did not even have a dowry. Kate could only hope she could convince her future husband to provide one.

Mary brushed a curl out of Kate’s eyes, brushing her thumb over her cheek. “You truly do look beautiful, my darling.”

Kate smiled uncomfortably, feeling anything but beautiful. She let out a deep sigh. “Let us get this over with.”

A loud bark followed by paws tapping the floor sounded through the bedroom as her darling corgi, Newton, waddled towards Kate.

Kate hummed adoringly. “Newton.”

Mary clicked her tongue. “Newton! Kate, do not let him touch that dress.”

Kate tapped the chair which Newton hopped onto, feeding him a treat from the jar on her desk. She scratched his ears, leaning down to kiss his nose. “He would never. He is such a good boy, are you not? Mama, I need his emotional support in these trying times.”

Mary eyed Newton suspiciously before rolling her eyes at her daughter. “You are debuting my dear, not dying.”

“Is there a difference?”

“You might meet the man of your dreams.” Edwina chirped in dreamily.

Kate snorted. “Or my nightmares.”

“We must make haste. We cannot be late for the Queen.” Mary said, clapping her hands together. She looked beautiful in her ivory, jeweled gown. She had thought the same when they met for the first time when she was three. Her mother had died when Kate was three.

Mary walked towards Sophie and pulled her into a hug, kissing both of her cheeks. “We will be back before you know it, my love.”

It had been decided to keep Sophie’s presence limited to certain events. She would join them on occasion and on outings as Kate’s companion but they needed to be careful.

Sophie smiled softly, the sadness in her eyes breaking Kate’s heart all over again. “I will be fine. I have Newton to keep me company. We shall read and take a stroll in the garden, perhaps chase a squirrel.”

“Please do not let him kill one again, Fifi.” Edwina said uneasily, kissing Sophie’s cheek goodbye before following their mother out of the room, a bounce in her step.

If only Edwina had been born first. She was made for society.

“Remember to breathe. We have practiced this many times. You will be wonderful,” Sophie said, pushing herself off the bed and standing in front of Kate. She adjusted the tiara and feather on the top of her head. “There. Flawless.”

It was time.

“I am going to trip.”

Kate was frantically fanning herself, surveying the room of perfect and prim debutantes at Court. She did not know anyone here. Panic had overrun her body, her hands were shaking and her mouth was dry. Mary was whispering soothing words in an attempt to calm her down, softly running her hands through Kate’s hair as she had done since she was a child but her attempts came to no avail.

This entire situation was completely out of her control and she did not do well when things were out of her control.

Mary shook her head. “You are going to be wonderful, darling. It is just one walk. Like we practiced.”

Kate could not fathom logic at that moment. “What if I lose my balance? What if I faint? Is it treason to faint in front of the Queen?”

Mary fails to hide a small smile. “You are not going to faint, Kate.”

Kate removed her gloves and hastily put them back on. “What if I do? What if I do something that you are not supposed to do and then I am ostracized from society before I even enter society?”

“You are not going to commit treason during your debut, Kate.”

“Do I have to do this?” Kate whimpers. Of course she knew she had to, it was her duty and responsibility. The child within her was desperate for someone to take the weight of her responsibilities and make them their own, reassuring her it would be alright.

“I am afraid so,” Mary rubs her thumb across Kate’s palm. “I know it is difficult. You must remember I will be right with you.”

She whimpered slightly, feeling incredibly nauseous. “Why does everyone look so calm? Why is no one panicking?”

“Do not worry,” A brunette beside her spoke, pushing away her mother’s hands which were fussing at her dress. “I very much want to die.”

Kate turned in surprise to look at the girl, the first person in the icy room of debutantes that had spoken to her. They exchanged a small grin but before Kate could reply, one of the guards announced her name and Mary hastily guided her to stand in front of the large, golden doors.

“I will be right beside you,” Mary whispered, her eyes slightly alarmed at the girl’s statement as she squeezed Kate’s hand reassuringly. “Just breathe, Kate. I know you can do this.”

The Queen’s guards opened the door as another announced, “Lady Sharma presenting her daughter, Kathani Sharma.”

The doors opened to reveal the room full of society’s most elite families. It was a room full of strangers, inspecting and judging her every move. The most important being the Queen, whose opinion mattered the most. She would determine Kate’s worth. Kate’s eyes darted to the right, where she saw Edwina standing with Mama’s old acquaintance, Lady Danbury.

Edwina’s gloved hand moved to her open mouth as she saw Kate, her eyes beaming at her. She smiled reassuringly, placing her other hand over her heart. Mary was right beside her. Kate had to do this for them.

Kate lets out a shaky breath as she composed herself, stepping forward a perfectly, pointed satin slipper. She could do this. Mask control, mask perfection. Chin up, shoulders back. She counted in her head as she walked up the aisle. One, two, one, two, one, two. Mary and Kate bowed as they reached the Queen who sat on her throne, looking dreadfully bored. Her eyes glued to the ground.

How long were they expected to do this? Her knees were already killing her.

A bark erupted throughout the hall.

The queen’s pomeranian jumped off her lap, trotting towards Kate and began pawing at her skirts. Kate froze. The dog continued to bark, his tiny paws attempting to jump onto her.

Panic flooded through Kate, her voice coming out in a frightened whisper. “What do I do?”

“I do not know. Just stay perfectly still.” Mary whispered back, causing Kate’s hand to cease its movement.

“He must be able to smell Newton on me,” Kate whispered panicked. “I gave him some treats before we left.”

Kate could not resist petting the dog, moving her right hand ever so slightly to rub the dog’s ear to calm him down. She could not help the small smile on her face as she gazed down at the puppy. Her actions only encouraged his eagerness more.

Queen Charlotte rose from her throne slowly, her chin up in the air as she stared at Kate curiously. Kate’s hand dropped immediately. She snapped her fingers and a servant picked up a barking Monty. “My Monty seems to like you, Miss Sharma. He does not like most. Do you enjoy animals, Miss Sharma?”

Kate attempted to swallow the lump in her throat to try to speak. “I-I do, your Majesty. I love dogs in particular. I have a corgi, called Newton. I adore him.” Kate spoke a lot when she was panicking and in that moment, she was spiraling. “I find dogs to be quite delightful company. Yours are quite beautiful, your Majesty.”

Queen Charlotte’s eyebrows were pinched as she surveyed Kate, her chin moving up and down slowly. She then decided to smile, letting out a chirped laugh. “As do I, Miss Sharma. They are, are they not? I have excellent taste. I much prefer them to people.”

Kate nodded slowly, not letting her smile fall for a second.

The Queen stared at her, her head slowly moving up and down as she inspected Kate. The look on her face was pensive and curious. Kate did not move a muscle. When would this torture end?

Kate remained frozen in her spot as the queen stepped towards her, placing two fingers under Kate’s chin to tilt it up, her terrified eyes meeting the Queens. “Flawless, my dear.”

Mary let out a gasp from behind her. Kate no longer understood English.

“That is all,” The Queen announced, waving her hands in the air as her servants rushed forward to pick up her train. She smirked proudly to the room. “I have found my diamond.”

A gasp echoed around the room at the Queen’s declaration.

Kate Sharma was the diamond of the season.

“Please get her some water.”

“Should I get the smelling salts, Mama?”

The room was spinning, a disarray of blurry figures and furniture.

One minute, they were at Court and the next, they were in Kate’s bedroom of their rented London home. Edwina and Sophie had helped her change into a more comfortable gown. Kate was sitting on her bed, Newton scrambling to get onto her lap despite Mary’s protests. At least Kate thought it was Mary.

Her senses and motor functions had given up on her the minute the Queen had announced her as the Diamond.

Kate was the Diamond of the First Water.

“Kate?”

“Are you well?”

“She did not speak the entire carriage ride home.”

“Newton, stop licking her.”

“Should we fetch the doctor?”

Kate shook her head slowly at her family’s concerned questionnaires, regaining mobility as she clutched Newton close to her chest and twirled his fur around her fingers. “Did that truly happen?”

It was not part of the plan.

Edwina reached for her instantly, beaming with excitement as her concern faded into joy as her hand gently threaded Kate’s fingers with her own. “You did so well. We are so proud of you. My sister. The diamond!”

It was not part of the plan.

“Tell me everything.” Sophie pleaded, looking between the three of them eagerly. “What was it like? What did her Majesty say? You must have been breathtaking.”

“There was a dog.”

Sophie raised an eyebrow. “A dog?”

“She was perfect.” Edwina gushed.

Kate shook her head, sliding further into the cushions of the couch. “She has made a mistake.”

Kate had no qualities of being the diamond. She was not perfect, poised or mannerly. Her father had always said she could argue for England, an attribute she had to try to control this season in order to find a husband. Men did not enjoy women who talked back or had opinions.

She was starting to feel dizzy again.

“Kate,” Mary instructed, holding a glass of water up to Kate’s lips and prompting her to sip. “The Queen does not make mistakes.”

“Everyone in that room wanted to be you,” Edwina said, practically shaking with excitement. “I feared for the worst when her dog jumped on you. However, she was terribly impressed by Kate’s composure and kindness. Animals are very good readers of people. The Queen had previously scoffed and looked dreadfully bored at everyone until Kate.”

It just did not make sense. Questioning the Queen’s judgment was practically treason but Kate was not good enough, not beautiful enough, not deserving enough of the title. No one had ever seen her that way. Nor should they.

Sophie looked more confused. “A dog jumped on you? In Court?”

“Girls,” Mary interrupted. “Kate is quite overwhelmed. We shall leave this discussion for a later time when she is more composed and rested.”

Kate could feel her forehead beginning to perspire, the heated flush of her cheeks and the tingles in her hands and legs. “I cannot be the diamond.”

Mary shook her head, tapping Kate’s nose lightly. “You have always been one in my eyes.”

“Mama,” Kate protested weakly, that warm feeling from her mother’s words settling in her chest and calming her nerves. “As kind as that is, I am your daughter. You have to say that.”

“I do,” Mary teased, a small smirk on her lips as she pulled the duvet over Kate and tucked her in, as she had done when she was a child. “Flawless? There is no such thing. Flaws make a person. For instance, I do not love your flute playing.”

Kate gasped. “Mama!”

“You are rather terrible.” Sophie agreed, quite amused.

Kate was a very eager flute player, having decided to take up the instrument in the past year.

Kate scowled. “At least I did not break a piano when I attempted to play it.”

“I can assure you whatever you are doing to that flute, it is not playing it.”

It was unclear who threw the pillow first. As always, it was not Edwina.

“Girls!”

“You cannot attack me in my sick bed!”

“Oh, my apologies. Being crowned the diamond must have made you dreadfully poorly. My sincere condolences.”

Mary grabbed Kate’s hand before she could pinch Sophie.

“Some would take this as a compliment,” Mary said sternly, eyeing her daughters. “Please do try to see the good in this. The opportunities it opens up for this season. I want you to rest before the ball this evening. Tonight is important.”

Edwina pressed a kiss to her cheek, moving off the bed to take her leave. “They see you how we see you.”

“Think of it this way,” Sophie suggested, rubbing Newton’s belly as he wagged his tongue in delight as she curled up beside Kate. “The power is yours. There are many eligible bachelors but there is only one diamond. They will all want you.”

Tonight was the most important evening of her life. Her true first impression.

The responsibilities of the diamond were another weight to be carried, too.

Kate squinted into the blinding light of the chandelier that hung in the center of the room, gazing around the ballroom. The room was alive with the finest members of London’s high society, the eligible bachelors, eager debutantes and their controlling mamas.

Whatever men she met tonight, Kate had her priorities straight. She would not be distracted from her goals. She would have her pick from the litter if she behaved correctly. Her requirements were simple. Not too dull, enough intelligence to hold a conversation, tolerable company, holds the correct opinions (aligning with hers), kind and most importantly-wealthy.

They were perfectly reasonable requirements for a husband.

Someone she could live a suitable life with. He could not be charming, arrogant or dangerous in an appealing way. He could never be someone she could ever love.

She felt shallow and empty but marriage was nothing but an economic proposition. Nothing more, nothing less. Some marriages were the exception but hers would be the rule.

It was her responsibility. Her marriage was fundamental to the wellbeing of her family.

“Kate-please put that away.” Mama said quietly, frowning at the piece of paper in her daughter’s hand that she quickly took. “What is this?”

Mary looked up bewildered from the page to her daughter. “Is this a list of suitors? Wherever did you get this?

“We are new to London and I wanted to be prepared. I had the maids draw me up a list of the most eligible bachelors with titles.” Kate took the list back and neatly folded the piece of paper into a miniscule size, tucking the list into her bodice. “Maids know everything, Mama. I am not going to dance with anyone who is a waste of time.”

“You will dance with whomever asks,” Mary reminded her, taking her arm as they walked into the ballroom and nodding at the people who greeted them. “You may also enjoy yourself. Tonight is meant to be fun, darling.”

Kate bit down on her bottom lip, that clawing feeling wrapping itself around her lungs and moving up her throat as they walked through the room. She could hear the whispers and see the judgemental eyes on her, scrutinizing her from head to toe.

Why is she the diamond?

She doesn’t deserve it.

“I will try, Mama.” Kate endeavored, giving her mother a reassuring smile that did not quite reach her eyes as she surveyed the room.

Nothing about this facade was enjoyable. It was exhausting, being someone she was not. Holding her tongue. Smiling dutifully. Not arguing against outrageous, offensive statements made by blithering idiots.

She only hoped her duty could be completed as easily as possible.

Kate knew how to act, how to stand, how to answer each question and say exactly what men wanted to hear.

“Lady Sharma. Miss Sharma,” A gentleman to their right announced, his deep voice taking Kate by surprise as he moved in front of them. He bowed his head, smiling brightly at the mother and daughter. They curtseyed back. “Lord Carlisle. It is an honor to make your acquaintance. I would be very pleased to escort you to the dancefloor for your first dance of the evening, Miss Sharma.”

Lord was all Kate needed to hear. His name, conveniently, had been included on her list. Excellent. Kate put on the smile she had practiced in the mirror for weeks, bowing her head dutifully. “I would be delighted, my lord.”

Male attention was not something Kate was not used to. She would not have believed Lord Carlisle was addressing her except for the fact he used her name.

It did not matter. He was not interested in Kate. He was interested in the diamond.

He led her to the dancefloor and as the music began to play, her act begun.

“Mama.” Kate let out a sigh of relief as she finally found her mother, her mother’s presence a comfort she seeked after five disastrous dances in a row. She discreetly took out her list, drawing lines through numerous names.

“Darling,” Mary Sharma said, smiling warmly as she touched her daughter’s arm and squeezed it softly. “How were your dances? You looked so elegant on the dance floor. All that practice with Sophie and Edwina has paid off wonderfully.”

“Horrendous,” Kate muttered, shaking her head as she fidgeted with her gloves. She was anything but elegant. Keeping up with her steps and maintaining conversation was a tiresome endeavor. She had bruised toes to prove it. “I have already crossed names off my list.”

“Darling, what about our discussion previously regarding focusing on enjoying yourself? Please put away that list. Someone could see. Your expectations might be too high for this evening.”

Kate frowned. “I cannot help if the gentlemen present tonight do not meet my expectations. I must interact with all of them to find the ones that do.”

Each dance had been more painful than the last. The conversation had been dull as expected, none of the men eliciting anything from Kate. She had no right to be disappointed. That was what she wanted, after all.

Some were pleasant, she would give them that. Perfectly suitable. She had been introduced to many gentlemen that evening, dancing and conversing for the past few hours. The attention was strange, something Kate had never received in her life. Their attention was drawn to her title, not to her. The diamond was a weapon she could yield, to secure the best future for her family.

“The Earl of Mansfield is quite handsome,” Her mother said, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Was he not agreeable?”

“He is an imbecile,” Kate barked, shaking her head. “They are all either as dull as a ledger or an obnoxious, breathing brewery.”

“Darling,” Mary began carefully, eyeing her daughter warily. “The night is still young. Perhaps a deep breath and a glass of lemonade shall brighten your spirits?”

Kate did not have Sophie or Edwina to talk to, or a friend. Her mother was all she had in this room full of strangers. She was tired and overwhelmed, speaking and dancing with gentlemen who approached her. She had yet to have a worthwhile conversation.

“I have endured my toes being stepped on, wandering hands and lectures on fishing and hound breeding. Did you know there are more than thirty different breeds of hounds? I do,” Kate squeaked, her voice cracking with desperation as she gripped her mother’s hand. “He listed them for me Mama. Every. Single. One.”

“Kate-”

“He complimented me on my apparent obedient attribute, quite similar to the ones of a hound.” Kate gripped her mother’s arm, her voice turning into a hurried whisper. “I believe he thinks I am a hound to breed, Mama.”

Mary cocked an eyebrow. “Obedient? You?”

Kate cocked her head to glare at her mother. “Ha ha.”

“If you would let me introduce you to some gentlemen-”

“I have it perfectly under control, Mama. I cannot recall one gentleman asking me a single question about myself. Oh, except for when the Marquis of Ashdown, who is seven years my junior by the way and a foot smaller than me, asked after three minutes of silence if I enjoyed a game of marbles.”

Her mother failed to hide her amused smile. “It is the opening ball of the season, dearest. We have not yet seen what London has to offer.”

“I believed London had more to offer than this mediocre bunch of jesters.”

A throat cleared itself loudly from behind them.

The surprised looks on the two older women and gentlemen’s faces in front of her confirmed they had heard every last word of their conversation.

“Lady Mary Sharma. Miss Sharma.”

“Good evening Lady Danbury.” Mary said kindly, bowing her head and putting on a slightly manic smile. Kate knew her mother was desperately hoping they had not heard a word of their conversation. From the amused look on the gentlemen’s face, he certainly had.

In fact, Kate was quite sure he was smirking at her.

She could not stop her cheeks flushing under his stare even if she tried. Yet, it did not defer her from breaking eye contact. She could not bring herself to look away from him.

Kate could admit to herself his face was agreeable. Quite agreeable, in fact. Far more than any of the gentlemen she had danced with tonight. His chestnut hair was finely cut, his jaw sharply drawn. He was tall but so was Kate, she had to tilt up her chin to meet his gaze.

Lady Danbury gestured to the gentlemen and his mother. “May I introduce Viscount Bridgerton and the Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton.”

Viscount Anthony Bridgerton.

He was on her list.

“It is a pleasure, Lord Bridgerton and Lady Bridgerton,” Mama replied, her hand gesturing kindly towards Kate. “May I introduce my daughter, Miss Kate Sharma.”

The Viscount spoke, nodding his head. “It is lovely to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Sharma.”

Kate smiled pleasantly, “It is a pleasure, Lord Bridgerton.”

It did not escape Kate’s notice that her mother, Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury had stepped aside, leaving Kate and the Viscount beside each other. Subtle.

“Are you enjoying your evening, Miss Sharma?” His voice was deep, strangely enticing in a way Kate had not encountered before. He had a serious expression on his face, almost strained. It faded briefly as he spoke to her

Kate felt..odd. Her fingers ran up and down her other glove nervously, playing with the material, her breathing slightly heavier. She must be overheated. “Quite so, my lord. Are you?”

“It is most pleasant.”

“Darling,” Her mother interrupted, smiling at the both of them. “Were you not going to fetch some lemonade? You must be parched.”

Kate frowned in confusion at her mother.

The Viscount offered Kate his arm. “May I escort you to the refreshments table, Miss Sharma?“

Understanding dawned on Kate as she nodded her head slowly. Kate shot a look at her mother before turning to the Viscount, taking his arm. “Thank you, Lord Bridgerton. That would be lovely.”

The refreshments table was only a few steps away and Kate did not miss the looks from various people, notably at her arm around the Viscounts. She would have to try to sneak some of the fine delicacies home in a napkin for Edwina and Sophie.

Kate was very aware of her company and waited for him to make the expected conversation. She was unaware of why she felt so strange in his presence. Almost on edge. The previous gentlemen she had met that evening had not sparked her interest whatsoever.

“Miss Sharma,” Viscount Bridgerton began, handing her a glass of lemonade which she thanked him for. “I simply must know. Do you enjoy a game of marbles?”

Kate’s composure slipped and she stared at him in bewilderment, her lips beginning to twitch.

The Viscount was teasing her.

“We have just met, my lord,” Kate replied, her mouth fighting her smile. She could not resist indulging him. “I cannot answer such a personal question.”

“Forgive me. Hopscotch, perhaps?”

She finally let herself laugh freely, feeling the tension drain from her stomach and an unfamiliar fluttery feeling replacing it. “That is quite a question, Lord Bridgerton. If I answer, you must be sworn to secrecy.”

“How about a proposition?”

“A proposition? I am intrigued.”

“In exchange for your answer, you would do me the honor of a dance this evening.”

Kate took a moment to reply, warmth flooding the rest of her body. “I suppose that is agreeable.”

“I must confess, I have been eager to meet you all evening but you were otherwise engaged,” He confessed, taking Kate by surprise. The Viscount seemed quite serious but he was effortlessly charming.
“You were preoccupied with enticing conversations about fish and hounds, it seems.”

So he had heard her. Every single word, it seems. Certainly not the words of a proper debutante.

Yet, here he was. Engaging with her. Asking her to dance.

He was certainly agreeable. Witty. Intelligent enough to hold a conversation. Considerably wealthy. There was no risk of love. A suitable match, potentially.

Viscount Anthony Bridgerton.

A Viscountess.

Hmm, indeed.

“Indeed,” Kate agreed, her smile matching his own as she decided to own up to the fact. It was not proper to outright ask a man questions, so Kate had to navigate conversations strategically to find out what she wanted. “I must admit, this is already the most refreshing conversation I have had all evening.”

“If I swear to not speak a word about marbles, hounds or fish, could I convince you to speak with me further?”

Kate’s reply was almost too quick. It was the first time she had been herself all evening. “I could not ask you to not be yourself, Lord Bridgerton.”

He brought his glass to his lips, taking a small sip. “I would much rather hear about your interests, Miss Sharma.”

Kate could not tear her gaze from his. She took a small sip from the glass in her hand, her mouth suddenly quite dry.

“I am fortunate enough to have a good education which I value dearly. I enjoy spending my time playing the flute and reading. I also quite enjoy nature, particularly the garden.”

“The garden?” Lord Bridgerton prompted.

“I find flowers quite wonderful.” Kate explained, suddenly feeling a bit stupid at her confession. Did she appear childish? Her answers were so rehearsed and expected, constructed to appease men. However, she had not truly considered that she might care about impressing what a man truly thought about her until that moment. It was unsettling.

“The flower arrangements tonight are beautiful. I do adore tulips.” The ballroom was filled with large flower arrangements, vases of various sizes filled with a rainbow of different tulips. Papa had loved maintaining their garden back home, a passion he had passed onto Kate.
“I believe they are a symbol of passion.” The Viscount spoke, his face unwavering from its tight, stoic expression.

Kate looked at him in surprise, masking it quickly with a small nod. “Indeed.”

“My main interest, however, would be my family,” Kate continued. “Family is very important to me.”

“That is very admirable, Miss Sharma.” His tone was softer, slightly sweeter. He was an incredibly hard man to read. “Our values certainly align. Family is incredibly important to me. I have seven younger siblings.”

“How wonderful,” Kate said, not because she had to but because it was true. “I am very fortunate to have s-a younger sister,” She corrected her near mistake swiftly. “Siblings are a blessing, sometimes trying-but a blessing nonetheless. Being the eldest is a responsibility unlike any other.”

Something passed across the Viscount’s face, something Kate could not read as it disappeared as quickly as it came. Kate thought he looked impressed. His voice was softer as he spoke, almost reflective. “Quite, Miss Sharma.”

They stared at each other, neither of them speaking for a few moments.

“Forgive me for my forwardness, but what are your thoughts on children? Do you desire them?”

“Very much so,” Kate replied, she could rehearse her practiced answers without a second thought. She knew what was expected of a woman and childbearing was one of them. They were one of the consolations she could look forward to from her marriage. Someone who could love her. “I look forward to raising them with my husband, my lord. Children are quite special. I have been very fortunate to have a close relationship with my parents, one I would hope to have with my future children.”

She wasn’t lying. In the loveless marriage she knew she would have, her children would be a solace in the emptiness that remained. Kate could only hope the husband she chose would be a tolerable companion. She found the Viscount’s line of questioning quite refreshing, truthfully. None of the usual nonsense. Kate knew what she wanted and it appeared the Viscount did too.

The Viscount appeared to be studying her, a calculating look on his face before he snapped out of it, a serious expression taking over his face. “Miss Sharma, I wish to speak with your-“

“Miss Sharma,” Lord Hardy said, interrupting and snapping Kate out of her trance-like state with the Viscount. “I believe we have the next dance? Oh. Viscount Bridgerton.”

“Lord Hardy,” Kate greeted, bowing her head in acknowledgement as she turned to look at the man. She tried to hide her disappointment at their interruption. Her eyes still darted back to the Viscount, who looked disagreeable at their interruption. “Yes, my Lord. I believe we do.”

“Lord Hardy,” The Viscount replied in a clipped tone, his serious expression returning as the man’s arrival. “I require a moment to sign Miss Sharma’s dance card.”

The man nodded, stepping aside as Kate carefully offered her right hand to the Viscount. Unlike most gentlemen, he did not wear gloves. There was a layer between them.

“Lord Hardy is next on your card,” The Viscount murmured quietly only for Kate to hear, delicately signing his name on her dance card. “A warning, Miss Sharma. He does hold great affection for his cattle.”

He could not help the laughter that came out of his mouth from the look of pure horror on her face. Kate really needed to work on controlling her facial expressions.

“It appears I will be an expert by the end of this night,” Kate quipped, smiling at his laughter. “Are you taking to the dancefloor, my lord?”

Perhaps it was too forward. Kate could not recall seeing him on the floor for any of her previous dances. She was curious what other ladies he was interested in.

“I believe my last dance shall be with you, Miss Sharma,” He said, dropping her hand softly but keeping her gaze. “I must admit my dancing has been a struggle so far this evening. Perhaps I have not yet found the right partner.”

Kate held her breath, smiling softly. “Perhaps you have not.”

“Miss Sharma?” Lord Hardy prompted.

Kate had to unclench her jaw, shooting a strained smile at Lord Hardy. The Viscount and Kate both bowed their heads.

“I look forward to our dance, Miss Sharma.”

“As do I, Lord Bridgerton.”

As she took Lord Hardy’s arm and he escorted her away, her spare fingertips lightly traced the Viscount’s signature on her dance card. She did not look back, despite wanting to desperately.

Kate felt strange. Very strange, indeed.

“Miss Sharma,” Lord Hardy said as they began their dance, his spit landing directly on Kate’s cheek. It took all of her self control not to gag. “Let me tell you of my farm at my country estate. Did you know there are many types of soil?”

Heaven help her.

Her Mama was waiting on the edge of the dance floor as she finished her dance. Kate raised an eyebrow at her mother’s eagerness, practically dragging her daughter off the dancefloor to a secluded corner once she bid Lord Hardy a good evening and thanked him for the dance.

“Did you enjoy your lemonade?” Mama asked, once they were away from the prying ears of Lord Hardy. “

“Well?”

“I have never known you to be so interested in my drinking habits.”

Kate smoothed out her skirt. “You were quite obvious in your attempts, you know.”

Mary did not try to deny it. “How was the Viscount?”

“He was sufficient.”

“Kate.”

“His presence does not pain me,” Kate elaborated begrudgingly. “He appears normal. Wealthy. Has a brain. Can hold a sustainable conversation. A family man, which is admirable. Kind. Appeasing to look at, I suppose. He is a suitable candidate to consider.”

“Kate Sharma,” Mary teased, squeezing her daughter’s arm. “You are smiling.”

“I am not,” Kate protested weakly, attempting a frown. “I still do not know much about him. His reputation, for one. Appearances can be deceiving. We are to dance after this interlude.”

“How wonderful. Lady Danbury informed me that the Viscount very much intends on marrying this season,” Mama said, beaming at her and looking quite excited at the prospect. Kate desperately wanted her mother’s approval. Maybe the Viscount could be her husband. “He asked Lady Danbury specifically for an introduction to you.”

“We have yet to dance Mama,” Kate reasoned, pushing back her shoulders and smiling as a gentleman nodded his head as he passed. “Let us not get ahead of ourselves. There are gentlemen I have spoken with tonight that are also potential suitors.”

“Lady Sharma, how wonderful to see you.”

The Sharmas turned around to see who spoke and Kate’s blood ran cold.

“Lady Cowper. Miss Cowper.”
Sophie's stepmother and stepsister. The blonde woman stood tall alongside her daughter, a carbon copy of herself. Kate had not seen them since she was eight years old, but that evil pinched scowl had not changed.

“I must say I was surprised to hear you were joining us this season,” Lady Cowper remarked, her voice dripping with disdain disguised as friendliness. “London has never really been your scene. How is dear Sophie?”

“How dare you. Keep her name out of your mouth.” Kate hissed, overcome with fury and shock and not caring whatsoever they were in public, much less in the middle of a ballroom.

“Kate, please go outside and get some air,” Mary said tightly, her eyes not moving from the Cowpers. “Now.”

“Mama-”

“Now.” Mary had rarely raised her voice or got angry, her calm nature more prone to lectures of disappointment as a form of punishment. The finality in her tone made it clear there was no room for discussion.

Kate glanced helplessly at her Mama, her mother’s face completely stone as she waited for Kate to take her leave. Reluctantly, Kate abided.

“It appears our diamond has a few cracks.” Cressida sneered, the malicious smile on her face pointed at Kate. She looked ridiculous, the plaits on her head pinned in directions that could poke one’s eyes out.

“Are you enjoying your second season, Miss Cowper?” Kate asked swiftly, narrowing her eyes at the girl. “I heard the previous diamond caught the eye of your suitor last year. It would be such a shame if history were to repeat itself, would it not?” Kate cocked her head to the side, glaring at the two women before taking her leave.

Kate made her way out into the gardens, the cool air hitting her bare arms. She pulled her shawl, needing a few moments of reprieve. She was breathing heavily, swallowing a sob that threatened to break. Her dress felt heavy, her gloves too tight and the diamond necklace around her neck choking her.

She made her way down the path, taking a left until she found a small square with a large tree in the center of it, with benches surrounding it.

“What a nightmare.” Kate muttered to herself, sighing loudly as she pulled her shoes off. She gently massaged her sore feet. She held her face in her hands, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. The Cowpers presence in London had been something they had considered but Kate had never truly thought of the moment she would actually see them.

Would Mary tell Sophie? Could Kate?

Kate needed to secure a match. She had danced, she had made conversation and yet her head felt scrambled. She pulled her wrinkled list out of its hiding place, taking the pencil attached to her dance card and making notes by each name. She crossed a few names out, scribbling notes beside a few names.

Kate ranked the top five gentlemen she had met tonight, hesitating before drawing a small number one beside Viscount Anthony Bridgerton’s name.

“Hello.”

Kate screeched.

“I am sorry! I am sorry!” The feminine voice pleaded, a figure appearing from the other side of the tree with her hands in the air. Kate recognized her, she had been the girl who had spoken to her at the Queen’s ceremony. “It was just you clearly did not see me and you began talking to yourself and I figured the longer I sat here, the more awkward it would become if you were to discover me.”

Kate panted, staring at the girl in disbelief. She hastily tucked her list away. Recovering, she eventually laughed, shaking her head. “My aologies. You startled me.”

“Are you escaping too?”

Kate let out a sigh of defeat. “Indeed. It has been a long night.”

“I believe we met at the debut,” The girl said, sighing loudly as she leaned back against the trunk of the tree. “We appeared to be the only two hyperventilating.”

They both laughed, sharing a small smile. The girl shifted a few times before she found a comfortable spot on the bench. “I thought I was going to faint.”

“I hoped I would,” She admitted, chuckling softly. She extended her hand. “I would very much like to be anyone but myself tonight.”

“As do I.” Kate agreed. “Perhaps, out here, we can for a few minutes.”

“I do not believe we ever have been introduced. I’m Eloise.”

Kate took her hand, shaking it softly. “I’m Kate.”

“I may not be able to understand your position,” Eloise said, fidgeting with the glove in her hand. “I can imagine it is a lot of pressure. I am currently living in the shadow of the previous diamond of the season, my perfect sister. A duchess, now. Failing quite miserably at it, actually. I had to escape out here. My sister gave me a list to be the perfect debutante. I can share it with you if you would like.”

“Thank you but I feel as if I am beyond help. That is quite a shadow to live in.” Kate paused, “My sister would have been the perfect diamond. I do not know why the Queen chose me.”

Eloise nodded. “Well, thank you. I am certainly glad it is not me.”

Kate let out a quiet snort.

“I have barely spoken all night to not argue with most of the gentlemen I have had to engage in conversation with.”

Eloise waved her hands in the air, frustration filling her voice. “We are expected to undergo so much in order to be accepted into society. We are prodded with needles, tied into corsets, expected to comply with what men expect of us. Do men not require any training? They are the ones in need of it.”

“A man would not survive an embroidering lesson.”

“Or an evening in a corset.”

They doubled over in laughter, clutching their stomachs as they spoke freely without prying ears.

“I regretfully must return before my mother or brothers hunt me down,” Eloise eventually said, pushing herself up from the bench. “I have already pretended to lose my dance card twice.”

“I will have to remember that trick.”

Eloise smiled, smoothening out her dress. “I enjoyed this.”

“Me too.”

“A friend makes these soirees slightly more bearable.”

Kate perked up significantly. A friendly face was a comforting thought. Someone she actually felt normal around.

“Pen usually calls for me around midday. She is my dearest friend that I seemed to have lost this evening,” Eloise said, sadness flashing across her face. “I believe our Mamas have already arranged tea for later in the week. We could call on you tomorrow afternoon? I must introduce you two. The three of us can survive this season together.”

Warmth flooded Kate as she nodded eagerly. “I would really like that.”

“Until tomorrow then.”

Kate beamed. “Until tomorrow.”

Kate granted herself another fifteen minutes of solitude before she moved to return inside, the final dance of the evening would begin in under ten minutes. It was close to the doors when she heard his voice.

“What say you, Bridgerton? Any young ladies caught your eye?”

Kate glanced around the garden, quietly walking towards the direction of the voices. She knew she shouldn’t but she was curious. The group of men seemed to be near the opposite door of the ballroom, the Viscount in the center of them. She could just make out his face through the hedge blocking her from sight.

“It has been a tiresome edvenour, that is for sure. Who knew the debutantes of London fell so short of simple requirements? The perfect Viscountess should not be so difficult to find.”

“What requirements are those, Bridgerton?”

“Half a brain cell, preferably. Dutiful. Compliant. Intelligence and a pretty face are essential if my children are to be of good quality. I am not looking for attachments. I required an heir and nothing more. I am looking for a wife, not a pet.”

Kate stiffened.

“I saw you conversing with the diamond earlier. Does she fulfill these standards, Bridgerton?”

“I want the best as my Viscountess and that will be the diamond. She will be mine in no matter of time. It will not be hard. She hung onto my every word. An impressionable girl. I must return inside and suffer through a dance and painful conversation.”

Kate could not stop the scoff that escaped her mouth, quickly covering it with her hand. She had done no such thing. The vile repulsion she felt for Lord Bridgerton was beginning to brew.

“I have not made Miss Sharma’s acquaintance, she has been quite popular this evening,” Another male voice spoke. “Is she handsome?”

“Enough. I have seen better, truthfully.”

Kate’s jaw began to ache, she was clenching it so tightly. Kate would not let his words mean anything.

“She was an unexpected choice for the diamond, was she not?”

“They usually are of greater stock,” The Viscount said, moving directly into Kate’s eyeline through the hedge. His face was so serious, expressionless and eyes empty. “The Queen’s word is final. We cannot question her judgment. In due time, Miss Sharma and I will be the match of the season. She will not reject me.”

“Is she tolerable?”

“As tolerable as a desperate debutante can be. Does it truly matter?”

His words stung, reminding her of exactly why she could not let her guard slip even for a moment. She had been a fool, when they had spoken earlier. She would not make the same mistake again.

“Always the romantic, Bridgerton.”

Kate retreated from the hedge, making her way down the path towards the door she had entered the garden through. She took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh cool air before she stepped back into the ballroom.

She was Kate Sharma.

She would not be made a fool of.

Kate waited, just on the edge of the dancefloor where Lord Bridgerton would easily find her. She sipped on a glass of lemonade, waiting patiently.

“Miss Sharma.”

“Lord Bridgerton.” Kate’s voice was plain, her face flat. She put her empty glass on a nearby tray.

He extended his hand towards her, smiling gracefully. “I have very much been looking forward to our dance.”

Kate did not take his hand. She smiled too widely at him, cocking her head to the side. “Have you?”

The Viscount frowned slightly in confusion, “Of course, Miss Sharma.”

“That is quite a shame,” Kate said, taking another glass off a passing servant’s tray. “As I have changed my mind.”

Viscount Bridgerton blinked at her, his mouth opening slightly before he found his words. “I do not understand.”

“Oh,” Kate said, pouting slightly before laughing. “I apologize, my lord. I forgot you were a man. Let me explain it to you in more simple terms. I do not want to dance with you, Lord Bridgerton. I do not want to converse with you. I do not want to look at you. Is that clear enough?”

Kate took a step forward before he could reply, her tone venomous.

“I myself also have requirements for gentlemen I consider as suitors, Lord Bridgerton. Dutiful. Compliant. Handsome. Worthwhile of a conversation. Intelligent enough so my children are a good stock. You, Lord Bridgerton, do not even meet one of them.”

Realization and horror dawned on the Viscount’s face, his own words falling back on his own ears. Kate was overcome with satisfaction. “Miss Sharma, I do not think you understood what you heard-”

“I am not a prize to be won.”

“Miss Sharma-”

“I know this may come as a shock to you, Lord Bridgerton, but women are capable of much more than men deem them capable of. No woman in the world could ever produce good quality children with you as their father.”

“You asked of my interests. What I am not interested in is lying, deceiving men who put on a facade. It is cowardly and despicable.”

His jaw was clenched. “I would kindly remind you who you are speaking to, Miss Sharma.”

“I would kindly remind you who you are speaking to, Lord Bridgerton,” She replied sharply. “The diamond.”

“Let me be extremely clear, Viscount Bridgerton. There is no status or money in the world that would ever make me consider marrying you. Your reputation truly precedes you and I imagine everything else is quite lacking. I find your manners appalling and your views on women as statutes at your disposal quite despicable. I will have nothing to do with any of it.”

“You were eavesdropping-”

“You were boasting your efforts for the entire party to hear!”

“I believe we can put this mishap aside, Miss Sharma and move forward.” The Viscount said through clenched teeth. “I apologize.”

Kate smiled sweetly. “I do not care for your apologies. They mean nothing, Lord Bridgerton.”

His voice came out in a hiss, his temperament breaking. “I did not take you for being so childish, Miss Sharma.”

“I did not take you for being so boorish, Lord Bridgerton.”

“I will put aside this misunderstanding, Miss Sharma,” The Viscount said, matching her glare. “You will then see reason and understand that we are a suitable match.”

“Reason is exactly why I will never consider you as a suitor, Lord Bridgerton.”

He shook his head at her, his fists clenching and unclenching as he composed himself. “I do not mind a challenge, Miss Sharma,” He almost spat, his nostrils flaring. “I welcome it.”

“I will never marry you.”

“You are not going to consider marrying me Miss Sharma,” He said slowly, the shadow of a smirk on his lips. It infuriated her further, if that was possible. Kate had never been made to feel such fury by another person in her entire life. “You are going to want to.”

Kate untied her dance card off her wrist, presenting it to him before she grabbed the pencil in her other hand. She scribbled through his name ferociously, her pencil tearing a hole in the paper where his signature once was. “There. Perfect. The last time your name will ever be on one of my dancing cards. I will not waste another second in your presence. I bid you a good night, Viscount Bridgerton.”

“I will call upon you tomorrow, Miss Sharma.”

“I would bring a warm coat Lord Bridgerton,” Kate said, half turning to take her leave. She briefly bowed her head, smirking at him. “It will be cold, after all. Considering my front door is as close as you will get to my drawing room.”

The Viscount’s nostrils flared as he stared at her.

“Besides, my Lord. Showing up where you are not welcome. All this begging. It might appear quite…desperate, really.”

That was the last time Kate Sharma would walk away from Viscount Anthony Bridgerton. Their conversation was the most she had felt like herself all evening.

Victory was sweet, indeed.