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The next time Hajime awoke, it was to an incredibly unwelcome sight - the sight of two of his fellow island inhabitants, Kazuichi Soda and Nekomaru Nidai, hovering over the bed.
Wait, what the fuck ?
For a moment, all he could do was stare at them, wide-eyed, not entirely certain it wasn’t a dream. Hoping it was, actually. The duo seemed equally befuddled, returning his silent stare. But then, finally, as if a dam had broken:
“WHAT THE FUCK ??????????”
This came from Kazuichi, at a volume so impressively loud Hajime would be surprised if the entire island hadn’t heard it. Of course, it woke Nagito up. He rolled over, glancing at the invaders.
“Oh, hello Kazuichi, Nekomaru. What brings you two here?”
Of course. Nagito appeared entirely unbothered by the fact that his room had just apparently been broken into in the middle of the night, and Hajime wasn’t even surprised by that reaction at this point. Kazuichi and Nekomaru were visibly startled, but it wasn’t long before Kazuichi turned his attention back to Hajime.
"Forget us, what the hell are you doing here, Hajime?!?"
This was, without question, the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of Hajime's life. Being caught in someone else's bed would be embarrassing enough, but the matter was significantly complicated by the fact that that "someone" was a literal attempted murderer and potentially completely insane. Hajime floundered, not having even the slightest idea of how to begin to explain this.
But he didn’t have to, because Nagito spoke up again. “He slept here!”
For the love of fuck , Nagito…
He said it entirely casually, so unaffected that Hajime didn’t have a prayer of telling whether it was an act or he really was that oblivious. Kazuichi’s jaw had dropped. Nekomaru let out a boisterous laugh, but it wasn’t a laugh that meant he was actually amused; it was the kind of laugh you do when a situation is so absurd that there’s no other reasonable reaction. Hajime couldn’t blame him. He was on the verge of hysterical laughter himself.
“Hajime!!! You slept with a murderer?!?”
Hajime and Nagito immediately, simultaneously reacted to Kazuichi’s indignant question.
“Whoa, hey, not ‘slept with’ like that -”
“ Attempted murderer! I didn’t get to actually do it, remember?”
So, they might have had slightly different priorities.
For his part, Kazuichi seemed more focused on Hajime’s correction than Nagito’s. “Hajime, come on! You mean to tell me you slept next to him all night and nothing happened there? I’m not buying it! Look at him! And like, the crackling tension between you two has been obvious since the moment we all arrived on this fucked-up island!”
Again with the simultaneous reactions, although this time there was a bit of a stunned pause beforehand.
“The ‘ crackling tension ’ between us???”
“Kazuichi, was that you calling me attractive?”
“OKAY!” Nekomaru, who up until this point had been observing the increasingly ridiculous situation largely silently, interjected. “This is getting…a bit out of hand. Hajime, could you start from the beginning and explain…what exactly is going on here?”
“...Do I have a choice?”
Kazuichi and Nekomaru’s unamused expressions suggested that the answer to that question was no. Hajime sighed. It appeared that there was no option left but the truth.
“Okay. So, last night, I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about the trial and everything Nagito had said. So…I came over here. I just wanted to talk to him, to try to understand. So…we talked. And then, uh…” Oh geez, did he really have to include everything ? He glanced warily at Kazuichi. Maybe he could eventually convince him of a version of the story that didn’t include the whole “repeated making out” thing, but it seemed like it would take quite a bit of effort, and Hajime wasn’t sure he had it in him at that particular moment to commit that much energy to a lie. He sighed again, giving up. “...And then there was kissing.”
“I KNEW IT!” Kazuichi immediately declared, pointing an accusatory finger at him.
“Calm down there, Ace Attorney!” Nekomaru interjected, accompanied by a pat on the back that was ostensibly supposed to be friendly, but from Kazuichi’s reaction, had been significantly more painful than intended.
“But I knew it !!”
“So…yeah. We kissed, and then I, uh…just decided to stay here for the night. There was some more talking, too, but…that’s pretty much it.”
Silence. A silence that descended suddenly and felt like it would last for eternity. “Uncomfortable” was no longer a sufficient enough word to describe the atmosphere. But then Nekomaru abruptly shook his head.
“Alright, we’ll deal with this shit later. We came here for a reason , Kazuichi, remember?”
“Ah, shit! Right!”
…Another immensely awkward pause, after which Kazuichi protested, “How the fuck are we supposed to do that now ? After all…this?”
Nekomaru rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Like this, dumbass.” At which point he proceeded to grab Nagito and fully lift him out of the bed.
“Whoa, hey, what the fuck?” Hajime was stunned. What the hell was happening here? Also, for fuck’s sake, was there no limit to the amount of absurd situations Nagito was capable of being completely calm in? He was just standing there, smiling serenely, as if he hadn’t just been picked up like a child and was now being held tightly by a boy who seemed to have no intentions of letting him go any time soon.
"He's dangerous , Hajime. For the safety of everyone else on this island, we can't let him just...run free." Kazuichi had turned unexpectedly serious. Hajime couldn't comprehend this, any of this. It was all too much.
"So what are you going to do to him? Kazuichi, this is…"
"Relax!" Nekomaru interrupted. "We're just gonna tie him up for a while. Somewhere out of the way, where he can't hurt anyone or cause any trouble."
Hajime tried to respond to that, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make any words come out. This just...it wasn't right , Hajime knew that much. He had to say something. Anything.
"You can't just do that! He's a person , you can't just treat him like a prisoner! Yes, he could be dangerous, but...so could everyone else here. We don't know each other. We don't even really know ourselves, if what Monokuma said about our memories is true. Anyone here could be a killer. If you start singling people out like this, it'll only make us more divided!" Some part of Hajime distantly recognized that he was regurgitating the same sentiments Nagito had said to him before, and maybe that should have concerned him, but he didn't have it in him to care.
Kazuichi stared at him, visibly unimpressed. "Okay, fine. Anyone here could be a killer, that's true. But not everyone here has openly admitted to attempting it ! He might not have been the blackened in this case, but as far as I'm concerned, he's just as guilty."
“I…” Hajime started to respond, but he quickly trailed off, realizing he had absolutely no idea how to. What Kazuichi had said…technically wasn’t wrong, but it still didn’t feel right to him. “So what, are you planning to tie him up somewhere and just…leave him there until we’re all dead and he’s the only one left?”
“That’s not going to happen! We can’t let any more killings happen! That’s why we have to get him out of the way. Even if he doesn’t try to kill anyone again, he’s just going to go around messing with us and getting in our heads. We don’t need that.”
Feeling helpless, Hajime glanced at Nagito. He had just been standing there the whole time - silently, peacefully, not showing the slightest hint of being bothered by the fact that his own freedom was currently being debated as if he wasn’t even in the room. Hajime felt a sudden stab of guilt. But suddenly, Nagito met his eyes.
“It’s okay, Hajime. This is what Kazuichi and Nekomaru have decided is best. They’re only pursuing their own hope, and I can’t blame-”
“Would you SHUT UP with your creepy-ass hope bullshit?” Kazuichi lashed out. The only hint that Nagito might have been even slightly upset by Kazuichi’s harshness was a single blink; otherwise, he appeared as calm as always. Hajime knew he didn’t look anywhere near that calm himself.
“Nagito, are you…really fine with this?”
“Of course. If having me locked away is for the good of all of you Ultimates, how could I possibly try to stop it?”
“Nagito…” Ironically, the situation was feeling more and more hopeless to Hajime. It seemed like there wasn’t anything he could do to stop this. How could he, if Nagito didn’t even want him to try?
“Hajime, you heard him! He’s fine with it, so why are you still trying to stop us?”
This wasn’t right. Hajime knew it wasn’t right, but he was outnumbered apparently three-to-one. There was nothing he could do. But still, he just... couldn't make himself say it out loud. Instead, he unceremoniously sat down on the bed, wordlessly signaling his surrender.
And Nagito smiled . That small smile that was starting to drive Hajime crazy in more than one way. And then it ended, just like that. Nekomaru escorted Nagito out of the cottage, and Hajime just sat there and watched. There was nothing he could have done about it, he knew. But that didn’t stop him from hating himself just a little bit for it.
Left alone, Hajime knew there was really nothing to do but return to his own cottage, and so he did. He had no idea what time it was. It clearly wasn’t “morning” yet, since there had been no announcement from Monokuma, but there was no way he was getting any more sleep. So he laid there on his bed, staring at the ceiling. After some indeterminate amount of time passed, the announcement finally played. Not without effort, Hajime pulled himself off of the bed, knowing he would be expected to meet up with everyone at the hotel’s restaurant as they did every morning.
He had no idea how this would go. Nagito’s absence would obviously be conspicuous. Were Kazuichi and Nekomaru going to just tell everyone what they’d done, or were they planning to play dumb? And if they were going to tell the truth…Hajime paled. Would that include every detail?
His mind raced as he grew closer and closer to the hotel. It was hardly a long walk, so he barely had any time to think things over. Not that thinking could really help him now, anyway. Whatever was going to happen in there was going to happen. Yet again, Hajime found himself powerless.
Far too soon, he arrived at the restaurant. But as it turned out, he was one of the first to arrive. The only ones already there…were Kazuichi and Nekomaru. An immensely awkward silence ensued, a situation Hajime was becoming entirely too familiar with. But he had to be the one to break it. This was the perfect chance to find out exactly what they were planning to do.
“Uh, guys…what are you planning to say once everyone shows up?”
Kazuichi looked at the ground. “We’re not gonna bring it up. I’m sure they’ll notice he’s not here, but…they might not think anything of it, you know? It’s him.”
“Okay, but what if someone does press the issue? What if…”
“Hajime. We’re not gonna sell you out, okay?”
Shit. Kazuichi had seen right through him. He knew exactly what Hajime was really worried about. It was a relief that they weren’t going to expose him, if they really meant it. But…
“Why?”
"We're giving you a chance, Hajime. Right now, I don't have any reason to believe you're a threat. Whatever you have going on with Nagito…" He sighed. "It doesn't mean you're going to become a killer. If you wanna come clean, that's your business. We're leaving it up to you."
Hajime was stunned, and more than a little touched. He certainly hadn't expected such a gesture. Unable to come up with an adequate response, he just nodded.
Shortly after, the rest of the group began sporadically arriving at the restaurant. Nagito's absence was quickly noted, and Kazuichi was quickly proven to be very, very bad at staying cool under pressure. It didn't take long for him to slip up and reveal what he and Nekomaru had done. But thankfully, he somehow managed to keep his word and not mention Hajime's name at all.
Some part of Hajime felt like he should just tell everyone and get it over with. They were a small group in close quarters; people were bound to find out eventually. Three people already had , at least partially, and that was in less than one day. That didn't exactly bode well for the shelf life of how long this secret could be kept.
And besides, Hajime tried to remind himself, it wasn't like he was actually doing anything wrong . Right? He kissed a boy. And okay, yes, that boy was an attempted murderer, but...Well, Hajime felt like the word "attempted" carried a lot of weight there. And just because Hajime had kissed him, it didn't mean Nagito's sins were now his own. Kazuichi had even said it earlier - there was no reason to believe he was a threat . It was fine. But...somehow, he felt certain most of the others wouldn't see it that way. Guilty by association, more likely.
With more than a little bit of his own internal guilt, Hajime decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being.
…
A couple of hours later, Hajime found himself standing in front of the old hotel building.
He had found out it was where Nagito was being kept. In the dining hall, no less - the very same room where he'd attempted to kill someone. More than a little morbid, Hajime thought, shifting uncomfortably.
But there he stood, feeling like he'd been dragged there by some sort of magnetic pull. Nagito was in that building, tied up like a prisoner. Hajime wasn't even going to try to guess what was going through Nagito's head - for all he knew, he could be perfectly fine and unbothered by his situation. But still, Hajime didn't feel right just...leaving him all alone in there.
Steeling his resolve, he pushed open the doors and headed straight to the dining hall.
Nagito looked up at the sound of the doors opening, and upon seeing Hajime, his face lit up. The effect was dazzling, to an overwhelming degree. Hajime's heart twisted painfully at the sight in front of him. How could someone look that happy while they were being held prisoner?
"Hajime! What are you doing here?"
At the sound of Nagito's voice, Hajime shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts. "I...What do you mean , what am I doing here? I came to...check on you. I just…" He looked at the ground, suddenly feeling weirdly shy. "I figured you might need some company."
Genuinely, if Nagito kept smiling at him like that, the next body to be discovered was going to be Hajime's.
"That's…very kind, Hajime. I feel terrible that you're wasting your time on trash like me, but, well…since you're here, would you mind updating me on what's going on out there? I just hate knowing that I could be stuck in here while one of you gets killed, and I wouldn't even know about it."
"Nagito…try not to think like that, okay? We're all working hard to make sure no one else dies. Monokuma hasn't even done anything yet, but…"
"He will," Nagito said with a grim certainty. "It's just a matter of time."
Hajime nodded. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew Nagito was right. "So…everyone found out about…your current situation. Kazuichi is…not exactly good at keeping secrets."
Nagito's eyes widened slightly, and Hajime quickly added, "He didn't tell anyone about…you know, us , though. So. There's that." As soon as he finished his sentence, Hajime winced hard . The way he'd phrased that…it almost made it sound like he and Nagito were actually, like… together . And they weren't! But they also weren't exactly… not . What the hell were they? Why was any of this happening? Why was Hajime being trapped on an island with a bunch of other teenagers by a demonic teddy bear who was trying to make them kill each other? And why had he so quickly fallen into some sort of…entanglement with the very first of them to attempt murder? Literally nothing about Hajime's life made sense anymore. And the most disturbing part of it was that it was all starting to seem almost normal.
Either completely oblivious to Hajime's existential crisis or simply choosing to ignore it, Nagito piped up. "Oh, I'm glad! I wouldn't want your reputation to be tainted by associating with someone like me."
Hajime sighed, taking a seat on the floor next to Nagito. "I know we've been over this before, but…it really doesn't bother you that everyone else thinks of you that way?"
"Of course not! Why would I be bothered by the truth?"
Hajime didn't know how to respond. Nagito wasn't the kind of person you could use typical logic on. His mind had its own rules entirely, and Hajime didn't think he'd even scratched the surface of them yet. He had found himself drawn into a labyrinth and had already lost sight of the way out. All he could do now was keep going deeper and hope that the paths would become familiar to him eventually.
"Hajime…I hate to burden you with this, but could you keep me updated on what's happening out there? I know there's nothing I can really do from this position, but when Monokuma makes his next move, I want to know about it."
"Oh, uh…of course. I don't think it would be right to keep you completely in the dark, you know? This shit affects you too."
That smile again. "Always so magnanimous, Hajime."
It was a bit overwhelming to Hajime, having someone act like he was handing them the keys to the universe just for showing them the most basic acts of decency. Not for the first time, he wondered what Nagito's life had been like prior to…this. What kind of life led to a person like Nagito Komaeda? Hajime couldn't even imagine. He felt this insatiable curiosity, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.
"Are you…gonna be okay, here by yourself?" Hajime asked hesitantly, trying hard to ignore the warmth that flooded his cheeks. When he had first gone to Nagito's cottage only a night ago, it had been under the pretense of simple curiosity. But with every passing moment, that plausible deniability was slipping further and further away, leaving behind only the undeniable truth that Hajime genuinely cared about this boy.
Nagito smiled, but Hajime thought it seemed more forced than usual. "Of course. You all have much better things to do than sit around and babysit me. Someone like me deserves to be alone anyway, you know?"
In that moment, Hajime was tempted to move himself into the building and stay there 24/7 just to prove a point. But he quickly shook the irrational thought out of his head. He couldn't stay there - he had to know what was happening outside. He had to help make sure that no one fell for whatever Monokuma's next nasty trick would be. He sighed, shaking his head and standing up.
"...I'll be back, alright? Even if nothing happens. I'll come back tomorrow."
Nagito nodded, and with more than a little effort, Hajime pulled himself away and left the old building.
As always whenever he left a conversation with Nagito, a hundred different questions and concerns were burning in Hajime’s head. Nagito made Hajime’s mind simultaneously feel like it was working overtime and like it had ceased functioning entirely, and he had no idea what to do with that. Leaving Nagito tied up and alone in that building like that still didn’t quite sit right with Hajime, but…there was nothing he could really do about it, was there? Nagito himself had voluntarily accepted it.
God, everything was so fucked up. But…
Suddenly, like a lightning strike, Hajime felt his resolve strengthening. He didn’t want anyone else to die. Maybe it was impossible, but it was what he had decided to believe in. They couldn’t let Monokuma control them anymore. Two students had already died, and that was two too many. They couldn’t lose anyone else.
No more deaths. No more trials. No more punishments. They had to unite, and then they had to find a way to get the hell off this nightmare island. Together.
Hajime smiled to himself.
How’s that for hope, Nagito?