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Standing around their old, beat-up truck with a map strewn across the hood were Glenn, Rick, Daryl, and Evelynn. Sophia Peletier was still missing, but they were far from giving up on her. She could be out there, scared and suffering, and they weren't going to stop until they knew what happened to her. With frustrated sighs and stressed looks on their faces, they discussed the plan for today's search.
"Alright, we haven't hit these areas towards the base of the mountain yet." Rick voiced as he circled the area in question on the map with his finger.
Glenn furrowed his brows, concerned. "Yeah," he started. "but- isn't that area kinda.. Y'know, dangerous? We don't really know what's that far out. If Sophia was out there, would she have been able to get that far?"
This was starting to visibly take a toll on Daryl. Tired, he leaned over the hood of the truck, resting himself on his elbows.
"Hate ta say it, but Glenn's prolly right. We should try near the river bed again. She could still be there, Rick."
While they deliberated back and forth, Evelynn stood there quietly just out of the way. She didn't have much to say these days. For the last few weeks, it was as though she was determined to pull her weight around camp, but nothing more. She had stopped joking around with the girls about how sensitive the boys were, coming around Dale to listen to his stories about his late wife, she even stopped hanging around Glenn to reminisce about all the video games and comics they used to enjoy before the world fell apart. Everyone could tell something changed in her, but no one could bring themselves to ask. Especially since they all had their own demons to wrestle with, Evelynn seemed to get lost in the shuffle.
The biggest change, however, came when she stopped sneaking around with Shane Walsh. Since the very moment they laid eyes on each other, she knew there was something about him that she wouldn't be able to resist. They met the day she arrived at camp with Rick. It was awkward at first, no doubt. She could sense the weird tension between Rick and Shane, despite them both being supposedly happy to see each other again. As it was none of her business, and not something she intended to get involved in, the stiff air around Evelynn and Shane seemed to die out quickly. His company made her feel like a human again. Ever since she lost her best friend Aubrey to the dead, Evelynn had more or less surrendered her heart to the rotters too. Life was now only about survival, and sometimes not even that. The number of times she considered eating the barrel of her .45 was far too many to count.
Now here was this doof with the goofy smile and brown eyes you just wanted to get lost in, and everything felt a little more hopeful, and not just for her. She was the only person Shane gave that dorky smile to anymore. The bad blood between him and the group got worse day in and day out. The more they turned their loyalties over to Rick, the more Shane lashed out against them. The more Lori seemed to push against every idea he had, the less of a handle Shane had on his reactions. He was acting like an idiot, but being an outsider observing the shit show unfolding in front of her, Evelynn could understand why. That's how they ultimately ended up falling for one another when no one was looking. They understood each other when no one else did. Nights were spent with stolen kisses and secret whispers of love. They agreed to keep their relationship as their own little secret. There was so much chaos between everyone's feelings towards one another, the last thing they wanted was to risk adding more fuel to the fire. Things only got worse when Sophia went missing and blame started being thrown in every which direction. No one could agree on whether or not it was worth looking for her. On top of it all, Carol herself couldn't decide if Sophia was a lost cause or not. The only thing in the world that wasn't in shambles was what Evelynn shared with her Deputy.
Much to Shane's dismay, that too would crumble without warning, however. What had he done to earn the look of loathing she shot him from across the farm that day? That's the last time he could recall her looking him directly in the eyes. Evelynn shut him out with the rest of the group and it was gnawing at his insides like a parasite. He wasn't just worried about their relationship, he was worried about her. If there was a god out there, he knew how hard Shane tried to get to the bottom of what was going on without drawing attention, but she always had "somewhere to be" or "something to do". This time though, he wasn't having it.
Evelynn thoughtlessly shifted her hazel eyes up from the dirt she had been blankly staring at during the boys' conversation when she spotted Shane across the yard. She could tell he was looking for someone, and that someone could only be her.
"Not today, asshole." she muttered under her breath as she hardened her stance.
"Sorry, what was that?" asked Rick, snapping out of his hyper-focus on the tattered map.
"I said I'll do it. Scoping out the area by the mountain? I'll do it, I don't mind."
Rick put a hand on his hip, like a father about to scold his daughter. "No way, no. You're not going all the way out there by yourself."
Nothing annoyed Evelynn quite like being patronized.
"Why the hell not? I can handle myself, I think I've proven that by now. I've been on my own since we got here." She was eyeballing Shane from the corner of her vision, making sure she wasn't raising her voice high enough to be noticed.
"I know that, Evelynn. It's not that, I just don't want to lose anyone else out there. At least take Glenn with you."
Daryl gave an arrogant scoff almost as quickly as Glenn shot up, terrified.
"Me?! Why me!? You guys already tried feeding me to a walker this week!"
Evenlynn gritted her teeth and darted her sight back over Rick's shoulder. Yep, Shane had heard Glenn's complaining and spotted her in the distance.
"Glenn's better off here. What if Hershel or the girls need someone to run into town? Glenn is the best man for that, and I don't know how long I'm going to be out there. This isn't up for debate." She reached past him and started folding up the map for herself. "I'm going. You and Daryl keep to the areas you know today, I'm going to need this. Besides, Daryl's right, it's good to double-check the river. It's the only place we've found signs of Sophia still being alive-"
Shane stepped up to the group from behind Rick wearing a stern look on his face, not caring that he was interrupting her train of thought.
"Evelynn. I need to talk to you."
"I'm heading out." she replied, her tone cold. Grabbing her gun from the hood of the ford, Evelynn turned to Rick one last time and apologized "Sorry, Grimes. Matter's settled." before fuming off towards the woods.
"Damn it, Eevee." Shane growled before starting after her.
"What the heck is up with you two!?" Glenn shouted, throwing out his hands in confusion.
Tying her long, black, curly hair into a ponytail, stomping through the grass and leaves, Evelynn started to swallow the reality that she wasn't going to be able to avoid him. She had blown Shane off one too many times and the routine had grown tired, but if there was anything the two shared was being stubborn. Even after accepting that she wouldn't make it far, she insisted on huffing on through the trees anyways.
"Evelynn! Why are you acting like this?" Shane was keeping his distance, he knew better than to corner her, but he made sure to keep pace.
"Not acting like anything, Walsh. I've got shit to do." Her mouth was going dry and her palms were starting to sweat, the anxiety building up in her chest.
"Just-! Just.. help me understand what the hell happened! One minute you're in love with me and the next you don't want shit to do with me!" It hadn't taken much for his voice to start to shake. He sounded so desperate, his voice was cutting through her heart like a knife.
"T-things change. Gotta get over it"
"Bullshit!"
His volume was so startling that she came to an immediate halt, whipping around and shooting him a shocked look through tear-filled eyes.
"Don't.. fucking yell at me. Don't you ever fucking yell at me!"
Evelynn's fists were clenched so hard that her knuckles were turning white. She didn't even notice she had started to cry. He realized how bad he had fucked up the second she reacted. She hated when men raised their voices to her, and he knew that.
Shane signed heavily as he nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Shit.. Eevee, darlin' I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to raise my voice like tha-"
"But you did!"
"You're right. No excuses. I'm an asshole, and I'm sorry. I mean that."
Silence.
Shane knew he had just lost any right he might have had to insist on conversation, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around and walk away. Not after he had made her cry like that. Fluttering her eyes, Evelynn had a moment to notice how wet her face had gotten.
"Fucking hell.." she croaked, pulling up the sleeve on her tan leather jacket, wiping the moisture off of her skin. Embarrassed, she looked away trying to avoid any further eye contact.
He couldn't look at her anymore either. Now there was no question in Shane's mind that he had actively done something to drive her away in the first place. There was a heavy air around, thick enough to choke them both if they let it.
"Eevee, if you want me to go, I'll go. I just want you to know that I love you. I love you, a-and.. fuck."
He put his hand to his mouth, pondering the right thing to say.
"..I don't want to be without you. I can't be without you. Not anymore. I need you to know that." his tone as soft as his lips had felt on hers in kisses passed, hitting her sadness as hard as a ton of bricks.
"Damn it, Shane." she was weeping now. "I know about Lori! I know what you did! I know I was just a fucking consolation prize when she didn't want you anymore!"
Every word she spoke almost drove her to vomit. It was finally being said out loud. It was real now.
Silence again.
Shane's mouth was agape. The brown eyes she loved so much now looked back at her, horrified. Lori was a mistake that drove him and his best friend apart. Now Lori was a mistake that was going to tear the woman he really loved away from him. He would never stop paying for what happened between them.
"..I need to go. I'm burning daylight." she couldn't stand the tension of his stare, yet she hesitated to leave.
He had nothing to say, though. What was there to say? No amount of love for her could erase his past. Nothing he could do could prove to her that she wasn't second best, not if she's already convinced otherwise. With one more silent pause, Evelynn turned her back on the man who broke her heart and finally walked away.
There he stood. Alone.
Who was going to save him from himself now?