Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Del was dead. 

Hask wasn’t sure how long he had been holding his body. Minutes? Hours, maybe. Long enough for the Corvus to arrive.

He looks so much like Elias when he’s asleep.  

Oh no… Elias.

How was he going to tell him? He could never look him in the eye again. A thousand apologies and explanations could never undo what had unfolded. Too many words flooded his mind, trying desperately to process what to say, but nothing was good enough. So he settled on silence. 

After what seemed like hours but was likely only a moment, he unfolded his legs and took Del’s body in his arms, checking the distance between them and the Corvus . It was about a hundred yards away, if not a little closer, but every step was slower as he struggled to hold his fallen brother. He was almost to the edge of the ship when the door slid open. 

Elias was standing there, and from the haunted look in his eye, he already knew.

Of course he did. They were twins. Elias probably knew the moment Del’s heart stopped beating and that he was alone. 

The bond they shared was something Hask could never understand. All he knew was that it was deep, impossibly so, and it was something that seemed to even take precedence over a spousal bond sometimes. Yes, there were times where Del and Elias would leave behind their wife and husband and family to spend time with each other- usually around a birthday or some significant date. 

It never offended him. He didn’t understand. 

There was no need to explain what happened. Elias could count. He probably knew they’d had a three days emergency supply even though it had been a week. 

If I had only realized, I would have taken back all the bad jokes I’ve ever made about Del’s condition. 

Sometimes Elias had lain awake at night with Hask, wondering if he was going to die first. Their shared disease was so much deeper than his heart problems and Del’s insulin dependency. In fact, what hurt Hask the most is that Elias was resigned to the fact he would die first.

Del was heavy in his arms. Dead weight always weighed more, and Hask wasn’t as strong as he once was, despite the past decade or so of having kids clambering over him and demanding to be held. 

Oh no.

The kids.

Iden.

Elias must have been thinking the same thing, and could also see how much Hask’s arms shook. After running a gentle hand down Del’s cold cheek, past the scar, he held out his arms and relieved Hask’s. 

“Was he in pain?”

Hask didn’t know. The sight of Del’s convulsing body and pleading eyes would haunt him. But he didn’t know the medical side to it. So he was just honest. 

“I don’t know.” 

It wasn’t like Elias hadn’t seen death before. As a medic and a Rebel he’d seen friends on both sides of the war fall. But all the extensive training the Imperial Academy had put him through could never quite prepare someone to lose their other half. To move on, to continue with the missions, to behave as if you hadn’t been ripped in two. Was this how Del felt, the other Del, the one that had seen it all play out the first time? 

Without another word, lest his voice betray him and force out the emotions he had to keep to himself as he worked, he turned and carried him back to the medbay. It was simply standard procedure from there, no time to think, just following instructions drilled into his head from the years at the Academy. Keep your hands moving so they don’t shake. Distance yourself from the identical and unmoving shape on the table. It was just another operation. Just another patient. Just one more that couldn’t be saved.  

Couldn’t be saved. Couldn’t be helped. Why couldn’t he save him? Why? Why? Why?!

______________________

Out in the main hall, Hask debated whether he should follow Elias or go to find Iden. He decided going to Iden was the more responsible thing to do, especially since she seemed to have a screaming infant on her hands. 

Babies like me, for some reason.

He thought back to the days of Hanan and Alina’s uncontrollable tantrums, when they would only stop crying when he came to see what was wrong, even if Alina was literally not his kid.

Hanan and Tylo had both been his best buddies growing up. He remembered sitting with each of them on a knee and reading the latest story they were obsessed with until Hanan fell asleep and Tylo was hiding his yawns. 

“Is Elias taking care of Del, then?” Iden asked without turning around. He could see the dark curls of the youngest child on her shoulder. 

Chaol.

Del had been so excited when he was born, just a few months ago. He had been praying for a son just like Hask had shamelessly wanted another daughter. But fate had other plans for him, it seemed.

I’m sorry, little one. 

And Iden.

“He…” Hask choked on words. Iden turned to look at him, confused. Hask never stuttered like this. 

And he never cried, either. 

Chaol paused his crying for a fraction of a second, staring at Hask. It was like the baby was evaluating him, reading his thoughts.

With one last hiccup, the baby calmly laid his head back on his mother’s shoulder, wrapping a fist around her hair that Iden hardly wore down anymore. The very fact that she was signified just how tired she had to have been.

But even though Chaol was no longer crying, Iden wasn’t celebrating.

“No, Hask.” She breathed. “ No. Gideon, please.”

Hask just stood there, completely still. 

Iden didn’t cry. Not yet. She tried to march forward through the door but Hask blocked her path. 

“Elias is with him right now.” 

“That’s my husband.” Iden snapped. “I’m going to see him.”

“Iden…”

Normally she would win a staring contest between them.

But not this time. 

Iden took a step back, back towards the crib her son usually resided in. Slowly, like a robot, she set him down.  

And then collapsed herself.

For the second time that day, Hask dropped to his knees as well. Throwing his military dignity aside, he wrapped her in his arms and let her sob into his shoulder. Versios don’t cry, he’d heard her tell herself over the years as an Imperial commander. But they weren’t soldiers now, just a woman who’d lost her husband, and Hask was a man who’d lost his best friend. Her shoulders shook with every unsteady breath and each sob brought her deeper into his embrace.

Chaol lay silently in the crib, kicking lightly in a fruitless attempt to roll over. Del had wondered, when he first held his son, if he might be Force-sensitive. Perhaps that was why the child was so somber in this moment, he understood too much and not enough at the same time. He knew something was missing and yet laid blissfully unaware that his whole world had changed drastically. 

Hask’s voice was shaky as he spoke. “Let’s get someone else to care for Chaol for a while.” A silent, tear-streaked nod was the only acknowledgement that Iden heard him. She unwrapped herself from their tangled mess of limbs and stood. One last look at her baby blinking back at her, and she steeled herself, once more becoming the strong person she’d been raised instead of the heartbroken wife and single mother she now was. 

The light and endlessly joyful voice of Alina rang out through the halls, calling for her mother. “Are Dad and Uncle Gid back yet? I thought I heard the door-” She stopped short when she saw Iden and Hask, still trying to steady their breathing. A single tear traced its way down her cheek. Alina had never seen her mother cry before, and that could only mean one thing: Dad wasn’t coming home. 

Every time he left she told herself a hundred stories of what adventures he was having, and every time those stories ended with him coming home telling the tale of victory. But life was hardly ever that kind, and today she realized fairy tales don’t always come true. Some people aren’t born for “happily ever after”, though she had hoped they were the exception. 

“Whil you look after your brother for a moment, sweetheart?” Iden asked, gripping Hask’s hand for comfort, and support.

“Yes, mama.” Alina leaned over the side of the crib, reaching down to tickle Chaol’s belly, but the baby only reacted with a loud screech.

Kriff, even the baby’s upset. Hask thought. 

“What’s wrong?” Alina didn’t specify who she was asking about, but Hask and Iden knew. Maybe Alina was catching on based on Chaol’s grumpy mood. 

Hask looked at Iden. She slowly looked into his eyes, and Hask knew what she was trying to communicate.

Don’t make me say this more than once. 

“We’ll tell you later, kid. Once your sister’s here, too.”

“I can go get her.” Alina offered.

“No, sweetheart. Stay here with Chaol. He’s going to want a bottle at 1500, okay?”

That distracted the girl. She was proud of herself for knowing how to read the holoclocks. 

“Okay!”

Hask’s commlink chirped. 

“If Iden wants to spend some time with him, she can come now.” Elias said, and then hung up without waiting for an answer.

“Iden?” Hask asked.

She nodded, and they stood together. 

As soon as Iden began walking away, Chaol began to wail all over again. 

There’s no way the kid knows what’s going on. Don’t tell me he wants to see Del, too.

Alina had to cover her ears after a few moments. She was still, technically young. Sensitive. 

Iden sighed. 

“Go and find your sister, then, and come back here. I’ll take Chaol.”

The kids may not have been soldiers, but they were obedient. Alina didn’t ask questions. 

Iden put Chaol in a sling. She didn’t trust her arms to hold him up if she started crying again. 

That’s exactly what he wanted. To go see his dad, Hask thought, since Chaol ceased crying as soon as they began walking towards the medbay. 

Elias was alone. Presumably Isolde had gone to be with the other children, or at least to keep them out of the medbay. (Mostly Whil and Eliot, the two mischief makers.) They were known to sneak around in vents.

One of Chaol’s tiny hands kept poking out of the sling. Iden would hold it, then let go, until Chaol poked it back out. Hask watched the two with a smile, remembering when his boys were that young, and played such simple games like that. Now Tylo was older and getting into dating and Hanan was a total mess of teenage hormones and sleeping problems. 

 “Are you going to be okay?” Hask whispered, as Elias came forward to take his place at Hask’s side.

“I think so.” Iden responded, voice quivering.

“She brought the baby?” Elias demanded.

“He kind of insisted.” 

They watched from a respectful distance as Iden leaned over the motionless body of Del, her husband. The father of Chaol and the rest of their children. 

Speaking of Chaol, he fussed until Iden held him to where he could see, too.

“See, Chaol?” Iden whispered to her son. “Dada’s asleep. But he’s not going to wake up.”

Chaol gave her a look that might have been funny if not for the circumstance. It was definitely a smaller version of Iden’s “don’t try that bantha shit with me, lady, I know better” look. 

“He’s gone, Chaol. Feel how cold he is?” She let one of Chaol’s hands touch Del’s arm. 

A normal baby would have recoiled in fear. 

But Chaol’s hand stayed in understanding. What was he doing? Learning? Absorbing? Remembering? Maybe even… communicating. 

“That’s not sanitary.” Elias murmured. “Everyone knows babies stick their hands in their mouths.”

“Something tells me Chaol knows better than to do that.” Hask whispered back. 

Whatever Chaol had experienced in that moment, it was enough to calm him down. He yawned, probably the only one who could contemplate sleep at a time like this, and Hask stepped forward to take him, and to get one last look at his brother’s face.

So many years together, so many missions. Now it’s over, just like that? What Hask wouldn’t give for just one more day, just five minutes even, to tell him everything was gonna be okay. I’ll look after her, Del. And Elias, and the kids, all of them. I’ll make sure they’re okay.

Just don’t ask about me.

Chaol didn’t squirm as Hask took him carefully from Iden. Almost as if in a trance he marched back to the nursery, where two young girls stood waiting for him. Alina glanced curiously down the hall wondering where Iden was. She watched as Hask set the little one in the crib once more and sank into the chair beside it. 

“What’s going on?” The middle child asked impatiently. So much like her mother in that no-nonsense tone, but she shifted her weight back and forth anxiously, signaling she wasn’t quite as brave as she wanted to sound. “Where’s Mom? Why won’t anyone tell us where Dad is?” 

“Briya,” Hask began, but stopped as he tried to think of how to explain to such a young child what had transpired on the planet’s surface so many painful hours ago. Was she too young for details? If she was anything like her mother she would understand, but if she had her father’s gentle soul… It would crush them both to hear it from anyone but Iden , he told himself. Or is that just what you’re saying so you don’t have to admit it to yourself? 

Just say it. You left him alone when you knew he was vulnerable. It’s your fault he’s gone, Hask. It’s your fault he will never see his children grow up. Tell the girls. Tell them how you left, how he twitched so violently in your arms, how he finally laid still and you did nothing. Look them in the eyes, green like Del’s, and say it.

“I can’t,” he whispered aloud. He cleared his throat and looked up at the frightened faces of two little girls who only wanted their mommy and daddy. “I’m sorry, kid. I’m not the right person to explain it all. I-” His voice broke as he tried to contain the rush of emotions that were too much for children to see. Alina moved away from where she’d been watching her baby brother slowly fall asleep and sat on the floor beside him. She leaned her head against his leg gently, and Briya imitated her on the opposite side. All they could do was wait for Iden to return. 

Briya had almost nodded off like Chaol until she heard footsteps echo down the hall. She rubbed her eyes and looked up to see the exhausted form of Iden enter the room. As Iden took the other chair, her daughters scooted over to her. “Meree betiyaan,” she said softly before switching back to Basic, “I have to tell you something.” She took Briya in her lap and held Alina’s hand. “Dad’s gone. When he and Uncle Gid were stranded, he didn’t have enough medication to last more than a few days.” 

Alina stiffened as she understood what her mom meant. She’d seen her father on bad days, how his words slurred together and his hands shook until Elias could deliver the well-needed insulin. A quick and silent glance back at Hask across the room and she put together exactly how Del died. 

Briya has that too. 

But Briya had her life-saving insulin pump that was constantly monitored for her and supplied as needed. Their dad’s was much more severe. Deadly. Unmanageable. 

“He’s gone?” Briya yawned. “When will he get more?”

“Never, sweetheart.” Iden repeated. “You understand?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good girl.” Iden said, hugging her younger daughter close. 

Alina didn’t say anything. In fact, she took her hand back from her mother and began to pout.

“Dad always has enough medication!”

“Not this time, they crashed and we couldn’t find them.” 

“We should have been faster then!” 

“Alina Meeko.” Iden said sternly, but with no anger behind it. She knew what the girl was thinking. She was in denial. 

Alina turned to Hask with fire in her eyes. “Why did you let my dad die?”

“Alina!” Now Iden was stern. Briya whimpered, and turned her face into Iden’s chest, clutching at her shirt. 

“I-“ Hask couldn’t answer that, of course. And the longer she stared at him, the more freaked out he became. 

Then he turned and ran, wiping tears from his eyes. He wasn’t sure exactly where he was when he laid his forehead against the wall and cried silently. 

“Gideon?”

Hask sniffed and looked up. Only two people called him Gideon. Well, maybe three including Iden. But the other two were Elias (obviously) and Isolde. 

Isolde’s arms probably hurt trying to reach all the way around him for a hug, and she definitely stood on her toes, but Hask hugged his best friend. His old partner. The mother of his children.

Isolde always knew what to say and how to say it, even if it was to say nothing and just pat his back gently. 

“It’s okay to cry.” She reminded him, as he sobbed like a baby, just like he had when he’d thought he lost Elias.

But this time-

Del wasn’t coming back. 

“I had to tell the boys.” She said. “Whil and Eliot were trying to get to you. I had to tell them that you were upset and didn’t want to play right now.”

He sniffed and wiped his face. “Thank you. What about Tylo and Hanan?”

“They figured it out on their own.” 

Hask nodded into her now soaked shoulder. 

“When was the last time you ate?” Isolde asked kindly. 

“I… don’t remember.”

“Well, I’ll make you something. Elias too.” 

“I can’t eat right now, Isolde.” Hask felt like if he tried, he’d throw it back up.

Isolde smiled sympathetically. “Something easy then. That soup you like.”

Hask’s stomach growled in agreement. “Where are Tylo and Hanan?”

“In Hanan’s room. As usual.” 

“I’m going to go find them first. I’ll meet you in the mess soon.”

Isolde nodded, and squeezed his hand as she walked away.

Hask wandered through the familiar halls of the living quarters of the ship. He, Del, and Elias had all completely converted it over a year or two so it wasn’t a barracks anymore, more like apartments. The two youngest boys shared, and obviously Chaol still slept in the crib in Del and Iden- no, just Iden’s room now. The girls shared, and then Hanan and Tylo’s two rooms were connected by a ‘fresher.

He knocked lightly on Hanan’s door. It slid open, and Hask saw that Tylo held the remote from where he sat on Hanan’s bed. Hanan, however, was curled up to him much like Briya had been to Iden. Hask would bet money they were asleep. 

“Hey.” 

Tylo’s eyes were red and puffy, and there were tear stains on Hanan’s cheeks. “How are you doing?”

My son shouldn’t have to ask me that. 

“As expected.” Hask decided to say. “You?”

“About the same. Hanan and I weren’t… particularly close to Uncle Del but Elias and Mama were.” Tylo sighed. “Mama was crying when she told us, so then Hanan started crying, and when they started crying I started crying-“ 

“You don’t have to say that.” Hask said. “It’s okay to cry. I did my fair share of that today. Can’t remember the last time.”

“You cried when Whil and Eliot were born.” 

“Of course.” Hask smiled a bit.

But those were happy tears. Like the kind I shed at my wedding, and at all the kids’ births.  

“Your mother’s making a light dinner if you’re hungry.”

“I would, but-“ Tylo gestured to his sleeping brother.

“Hanan can sleep on his own.”

“They’ll be afraid if they wake up alone.”

“Then just wake him up.” Hask said, stomach growling once again.

“We’ll be there soon,” Tylo assured his father as Hanan began to stir.

______________________

Elias wasn’t quite sure when he’d left the medbay. He walked to his room, not fully aware of the turns and hallways as he moved, numb to the world. He sat on his bed, pulling his long legs up to his chest, wondering if this emptiness inside his soul would ever be healed. How can you move on from being separated from your mirror image?

 A pair of strong arms slid around his shoulders, and Elias leaned into his husband’s chest. 

In the past Elias had always been the one to hold Gideon or Del when everything was too much. He wasn’t used to the roles being reversed, but in this moment he allowed it. No tears fell, how could they when Elias wasn’t feeling anything? No sadness, no anger, simply hollow. A small part of him felt sick at not screaming or crying, as though it didn’t matter. 

“I suppose asking how you’re doing would be a dumb question right now,” Gideon sighed. He gently ran his hand through Elias’ dark hair streaked with grey. “But I still think I should say something.”

Elias didn’t move so his voice was slightly muffled against Gideon’s shirt. “Think of how you felt when you thought you lost me, and multiply that exponentially.” 

Why can’t I feel anything? I should be breaking down, screaming at him for not helping, crying my eyes out on the floor, anything. Just let me feel something. 

“The last time I can think of being separated from him, besides when we had to be…” Elias took a deep breath. “I was about ten, I had one of my first-of many- heart operations. Up until then Del and I had always slept in the same bed, cuddled up-“ Elias shuddered a bit. “It seems so silly, admitting that.”

“No, it’s not. Not at all.” Hask encouraged, rubbing his back some more.

“But I just remember screaming for him as the anesthesia took me. It was the worst feeling ever. Because I thought I was never going to see his face again and now I won’t. I always imagined that we’d always fall asleep and wake up and live and die at the same time, because we always did everything together.”

Gideon didn’t exactly know how to respond. He held Elias a little tighter, gently rubbing his arms and back. He’d lost a sibling before, so many years ago. He could hardly remember how it happened, but he understood a small part of the pain. I was there when it happened. Does he wish he could’ve been the one to hold him? 

“The one time it mattered, the one time I should’ve gotten to say goodbye, I wasn’t with him.” Elias turned his head away, retreating into himself once more. “Those damn reports were more important. I should’ve gone with you. Maybe then I could’ve done something instead of sitting here at my desk being useless!” 

With one last look over his shoulder he said, “I could have saved him. But I didn’t.” 

“You weren’t piloting. There was nothing you could have done.”

“I could have brought him some insulin, or something! ” Elias was so angry he began to shake in Gideon’s arms. “He didn’t deserve a painful death from something completely treatable!”

“It’s not your fault.” Gideon soothed again.

It’s mine.

I was the one who suggested the shortcut that got us caught in that Nebula and caused us to crash.

But he wasn’t going to tell Elias that right now. 

Maybe not ever.

It’s guilt for me and me alone.

Elias shook again, like he was overcome with a cold. All Gideon felt able to do was hold him close, and bury his head in his shoulder.

Chapter Text

Naboo was beautiful. There were no other words for it. From the tall archways so intricate in detail to the endless fields of grass softer than that of any other planet, it was easy to see why so many people wanted to call it home. And although they weren’t truly from there, Del and Elias held a special place in their hearts for that world.

Del’s funeral was short but meaningful. Iden and Elias took turns telling their favorite stories about him, and Gideon held Chaol while they were recalling their best memories. The littlest Meeko never fussed, only watched in un-baby-like silence, looking up with big dark eyes that always seemed to know more than he should. He shuffled in an attempt to get a hand free of Gideon’s grasp and reached out to an empty space beside him.

He smiled and pulled his hand back, tiny fingers curled around the air with a tight grip. Gideon glanced down, curious at Chaol’s movement, but brushed it off as he handed the baby back to Iden. “Where’s Elias? I lost track of him when you stepped forward to talk.”

Chaol cooed softly to his mama, looking back again at the empty place that was so utterly captivating for unknown reasons. “He went off by himself, saying he needed a moment to think,” she answered. She gestured towards the graveyard nearby. “Try over that way, he’s probably talking to Luke.” At the mention of the Jedi’s name, Chaol yelled in excitement. “No, beta, we can’t go see him now,” Iden said, untangling her hair from his grip. “Maybe later.”

From across the meadow Gideon could see the silhouettes of two men deep in conversation. I shouldn’t interrupt. He’ll be fine without me for a while. I’m his husband, not a babysitter. He turned his attention to his boys, who were trying to take as many snacks from the table as they could, stuffing them inside their jacket pockets.
______________________

Luke knelt beside his mother’s grave, laying a single white flower down. As he straightened up, he looked at Elias with that searching gaze of his, blue eyes scanning for something though Elias could never tell exactly what he wanted to find. “I know what you’re going to ask, Elias, but the answer is no.”

“How did you…” Elias’s question trailed off as he mentally answered it himself. He’s a Jedi. Obviously he knows what you came here for. He shook his head and continued, “He told me once, a long time ago, that this was his second chance to make things right. I just thought…hoped that maybe I could try too, but I guess that’s not how the Force works, right? Only a Jedi could bend it to their will.”

“So you thought you’d ask me to bring him back?” Luke had this way of getting to a person’s core within a moment of speaking. It was either the most intriguing or frustrating thing about him, depending on your view of the Jedi. The tone of the exasperated teacher dropped, to be replaced with that of a tired yet gentle friend. “Elias. Even if I could do something like that, I’m not sure I should. Do you know why my father turned to the Dark Side? Why he started his quest for power, regardless of the cost?” Luke gestured to the headstone at their feet. “He tried to save her, but in doing so he lost himself. Would Del want you to follow that path?”

“But it’s not fair.” Elias didn’t mind that he sounded like a whiny child.

“If you were to save your brother, you would be sacrificing everything else you love. Think about it, Elias. My father’s decision led to the war we suffered from. Del was given an opportunity, he didn’t take it. The Force doesn’t tolerate abuse of its power.”

Elias thought of this.

He had a point.

Elias was too angry to actually say goodbye. He stormed away, full of just about every emotion one could feel in the moment.

Well, every negative one.

“You’re back.” Gideon said, getting to his feet. He’d waited on a bench outside of the garden Elias and Luke had taken a walk in.

Elias was prepared to storm by him, too, but Gideon reached out and took his arm. “Elias.”

“What?” He could feel angry tears bubbling in the back of his eyes.

“Do you really want to go back to the Corvus right now?” Looking like this, is what he meant to say, but didn’t.

Elias sniffled. Going back to the Corvus meant dealing with grubby little kids who’d probably eaten themselves sick. They didn’t deserve to be yelled at as soon as Elias’s top finally blew.

“No.” It was almost a whisper.

Gideon pulled him close, then. He wasn’t big on PDA, so the fact he was holding Elias like this in public made it slightly more assuring than usual.

“What do you need to do?”

“Take another walk.” Elias wiped his eyes. “With someone who doesn’t infuriate me as much.”

Gideon had to smile at that. One of his hands slid down Elias’s arm to his hand. “Come on. Tylo and Hanan can manage their brothers for a while.”

______________________

They didn’t spend more than a few hours out and about in Naboo’s markets, and were sure to bring back gifts for all the kids, Iden, and Isolde.

Speaking of “the kids”, it was clear that the youngest two boys were waiting for them. They had sugar crashed onto their father’s bed to the point they had to be shoved over for Elias and Hask to have any shot of lying down.

Throughout the rest of the Corvus, it was mostly quiet. Chaol babbled happily as he chewed on the ear of the new stuffed lothwolf his uncles had given him (and he’d promptly forgotten about the lothcat that was his usual favorite). Iden was finally able to sleep, one arm around the baby boy who now had all the space of his father’s side of the bed to himself.

Mama. The baby thought to check if she really was asleep, and reached out with a tiny palm. His mama turned into it and murmured dada’s name.

Puzzled, he rolled back over (he could do that now) to where his dada sat on the side of the bed.

Why call someone who is right here?

Squealing happily, Chaol held out the lothwolf to show it off. His dada smiled and said something, but Chaol didn’t quite understand yet, it just sounded like noise, although he was smiling.

How was a baby to know that his father didn’t actually exist anymore? His eyes weren’t good enough to catch the blue hue around his father’s body, and the fact that his toy passed right through the hand he held out.

The Force ghost of Del’s eyes widened a second before Chaol teetered off the side of the bed and fell.

Every eye on the Corvus shot open at the sheer force of Chaol’s scream. Of course they didn’t understand the reason why: he harnessed the Force with every sound he made, paired also with the noise of the yell in the first place.

Elias was the second to appear after Iden scooped him up, the guilt of negligence washing over her. This had never happened before, with any of her kids ever.

Because you usually had a second parent with you.

“I think everything’s okay.” Elias said as Chaol wailed in Iden’s arms, staring off into the same direction, reaching for it like he had earlier.

Elias felt that calming sense of familiarity wash over him and he began to understand.

But he wasn’t going to say the truth in front of Iden. She had enough on her plate already.

“Might just have a few bumps and bruises for a few days.”

Chaol’s wails quieted to hiccups, and his hand finally dropped as he turned away to bury his head in his mother’s neck again.

I can’t bear it, Elias thought.

He’s so close.

And I just.

Can’t.

It’s like teasing me. Us.

Chaol.

Everyone was too focused on Chaol to notice when he rushed from the room.

______________________

It isn’t fair. He got a chance to change everything. Why not me? Elias’s hands shook with growing rage. He gripped the sink until his knuckles turned white. Luke had warned him not to mess with things he didn’t fully understand.

Luke Skywalker, Master Jedi. Master of cryptic half-answers and riddles was more like it.

“If I were to save my brother,” he said. If… Is there a chance? Something he didn’t tell me?

He looked up at his reflection. For a moment he didn’t recognize the man staring back at him and saw only Del. “I don’t care what he says,” he muttered, sounding dangerously unstable. “If you can bend the rules to get your happy ending, then I can too.” If he was going to do this, he had to plan out exactly what to do. No mistakes could be made.

First, he’d need a location. Somewhere strong with the Force, since he wasn’t a Jedi he’d need the best connection possible. But it also had to be a place nobody would come looking for him, or else they’d try to stop him. Elias was a man on a mission once more as he snuck out of the ‘fresher and back to the holomap of planets. He quickly scanned the names of all the known ancient Jedi temples, eventually settling on the closest one: Lothal.

In his rush to find a starship he hadn’t noticed that he left the holomap open.

He grabbed a few supplies, just a few bottles of water and some ration cubes, and set out. He didn’t stop to think how many laws, both planetary and Jedi, that he was breaking at the moment. He input the coordinates and jumped to hyperspace. Stars blurred past the windshield of the X-Wing, jumping to a halt as he entered the atmosphere. He landed in a desert, watching the lothcats scatter away from the miniature sand storm.

Somewhere in this endless sea of sand was a temple. How was he supposed to find it without a Master to guide him? Looking around wildly, he spotted a massive grey figure staring at him from the shadows. Elias knew lothwolves were large animals, but this one was huge even by those standards. Its ice blue eyes gazed at him, evaluating him, before it bowed its mighty head. Slowly it walked forward, towering over Elias, and paused at his side as though inviting him to follow. If it was going to eat me, it would’ve already done it. Maybe it knows where the temple is.

The lothwolf moved ahead, every step equaling four of Elias’s. Finally they stopped at a rock formation, and as the wolf bowed its head again, the ground rumbled and cracked to reveal the entrance to the temple. “Are…are you coming inside?” Elias felt awkward at talking to an animal but something in him knew this wolf was far more intelligent than an average one. To answer his question, the wolf laid down by the door. “Didn’t think so,” he laughed, before crossing the threshold. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and for just a moment, he thought he saw a flash of blue beside him. Shaking it off, he continued deeper into the temple.

He didn’t stop walking until he came across a large empty room. Even he could feel this place held an unfathomable energy about it. Something flickered in the distance, that same flash of blue. There for a second, gone the next. Elias set his backpack down and knelt in the middle of the room. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his brother. The room around him quaked and dust fell from the ceiling, as though something ancient was waking up. A cold breeze rushed past and he shuddered, glancing around to see-

Del.

He was younger than the last time Elias had seen him, wearing the red bomber jacket he’d been given when he was back in the Rebellion. A faint sapphire outline surrounded him almost as though he were looking through a thin veil. Del tried to speak but his voice didn’t come through. The only words Elias could understand were his own name and “No!”

Standing up and running over to him, all of the bottled emotions flooded out at once. Tears streamed down his face and Elias made no effort to wipe them away. “Del!” He tried to reach out but his hands went through him sending a slight ripple down his body. “I tried- I tried so hard to reach you. If Gideon knew I was here, he’d kill me. I asked Luke about the Force and the other timeline, but he said it wasn’t possible. But I swear, all I wanted to do, all I’ve ever wanted was to take away your pain. For it to be mine, all me instead.”

Del felt something shift in the Force. Something moved out of place. Something broke. And someone stepped through the cracks.

______________________

Hask started awake with a feeling of dread.

The two boys were still sprawled about, taking up Elias’s side of the bed.

“Elias?” Hask murmured, sleepily.

He peeked towards the ‘fresher where the light was off.

How hard is it to lose a man who’s that tall?

“Have you seen Elias?” He asked Isolde in the medbay.

“Not this morning.” Isolde said thoughtfully.

“That’s worrying.”

“Yeah….”

Maybe he’s on the bridge, he spent a lot of time with Del there.

Hask went in that direction, and on the way he passed the holotable-

Which was on.

Set to Lothal.

Why in the world is it set to Lothal?

“Caton?” He asked the comm. “did we have any departures from the hangar this morning?”

“Just one.” She reported.

Hask’s eyes narrowed in realization as he input new coordinates.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Chapter Text

Impossible. That couldn’t be right. Elias was seeing things, he had to be. That was the only explanation as to why there was another man with the same face standing there, looking confused as a human could possibly be. “Gde, chert voz’mi, ya?” He spoke with the same voice as Elias, but with a different accent, not one from Coruscant. And he wasn’t speaking Galactic Basic, but Russian. 

How do I know what “Russian” is?

“Moy patsiyent?” 

He stopped short when he saw Elias. His long coat fluttered lightly as the Force continued to shake the temple. The man yelled something far too quickly for Elias to process but he stepped back in fear, growing paler by the second and looking as though he might faint. 

“What did you do, Elias?!” Del’s voice was clear in that moment, echoing loudly off the stone walls. “I warned you not to touch any of this!”

“Elias?” The brothers whipped their heads back to the stranger. He continued in Basic, “That’s my name. Well, Ilya, technically, but still. How do you know who I am? And what is happening?” 

Del moved forward, stepping through Elias, and said, “This idiot, my brother, just did the one thing I told him not to do.” He shot a glare in Elias’s direction before turning back to the newcomer, Ilya. “I’m sorry about this. I can’t send you home, once the Force does something like this, there’s no undoing it. In fact, as soon as you leave this temple, you won’t see me anymore. It’s hard to explain, there’s-” He stopped. “No… Not again…” 

The temple rumbled once again, stronger this time, and chunks of stone fell from the roof of the cavern. Ilya and Elias instinctively covered their heads, diving away from the center of the room. When everything settled, a young man in an Imperial Medic uniform stood in the middle of the room. Stitched on his uniform, written in aurebesh, was clearly printed “E. Meeko”. 

“What’s going on, where am I? I was just on the transport to Scarif and now…”

Spotting Elias and Ilya, he raised his blaster. He tapped his comlink shouting, “Sir, I’ve got Rebels in sight.” No response besides a quiet buzzing. He tried again. “Sir, I repeat, I’ve got Rebels in custody. Awaiting orders.” 

Ignoring the fact it wouldn’t have actually stopped any shots, Del moved between the soldier and the civilians. “Put the blaster down, kid. You’re not on the battlefield anymore.” Meeko shoved the tip of the weapon into Del’s chest, nearly releasing it in shock as it passed cleanly through him.  

No one else knew it, but Meeko wasn’t going to use the blaster anyway. He hated using his blaster, and subsequently dropped it after it passed through Del’s body as though he’d been burned. 

“What’s going on?” He asked, voice cracking. 

He’s younger than I thought. Scarif? I was what, seventeen?

Poor kid, doesn’t know what he’s in for. 

A sudden terrible thought hit Elias. 

He’s going to die, right? If he goes back-

Regardless-

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Elias exclaimed, and the two men looked at him curiously. Elias frantically began looking around for Del. 

To his dismay, his brother’s figure was fading, quickly. The Force was doing too much, working too hard- 

Another quake, and this time, two portals opened. Out of one leapt a giant black- Elias didn’t know how to describe it. It looked vaguely wolf-like, but still-

The thing made a very wolf-like noise, leaning down on its front legs and swishing his tail. 

“Sarge, come back- here…” said a new voice, a thankfully (or maybe not so much) voice that wasn’t Elias’s. 

Elias started. Even more confusing than seeing other versions of himself- that much made sense, alternate timelines- this new kid (he wasn’t much older than Meeko, if at all). 

If Elias was being truthful, this new kid looked like he could be an older version of Whil.  

Whil?

Why?

The big black beast seemed to belong to him, though, and circled his feet excitedly.

“Yes, Sergeant. Good boy. You seem to have found us some new… friends?”

“That thing’s name is Sarge-“ Meeko began, but then a much louder “what the hell!” then Ilya’s had caused everyone to turn in the direction of the newest comer. He, like Meeko, decided to have a blaster aimed at all of them, shaking as it switched targets, and this time Del wasn’t here to save them. 

This man was definitely the oldest- older than Elias himself, maybe. His hair was covered by an Empire-esque cap that had a slightly different symbol.

That can’t be good. 

“You- all-“ he stammered, and Ilya hummed a bit, stimming nervously at the sight of the gun. Sergeant growled.

As he stammered, the man slowly lowered his weapon, almost in defeat. “I’m dreaming, is all.” He whispered. 

The look in his eye. 

The absolute defeat. 

This is- Elias realized with a start.

“Gideon?” 

Both the older man and the younger Will-looking one turned. “Yes?”

Oh.

Ohhhhh no. 

Elias’s head whipped back to younger Gideon- how would they distinguish them all?- and wondered if this really was a younger version of his husband. If so-

Elias didn’t know what to think. And the dog, Sergeant, was starting to walk up to each of them and sniff at their legs and hands and shoes. 

He only growled at older Gideon though. He especially seemed to like Ilya, knocking against him like a giant cat.

But back to older Gideon. He looked so lost. So in pain. 

“What happened?”

“Who are you asking?” Younger Gideon asked. “I just was on my way home from practice.” He gestured to his bag. “Almost home, actually, that’s why Sergeant was here to greet me.”

“And you?” Elias turned to the other. 

“I just killed a man.” He said, eyes narrowed without regrets but voice quavering to expose his real feelings. “I think he’s haunting me now, because he looks exactly like you- and you- and an older version of you.” He pointed at Elias and Ilya and Meeko.

“Glad I wasn’t one to die, then.” Younger Gideon said in an attempt at humor.

Just like my Gideon. 

“Okay. Well.” Elias had no idea how to take charge here. This wasn’t the medbay. 

He pointed at older Gideon. “We have two Gideons. You can choose-“

“Hask.”

“Alright, easy enough. You can still be Gideon.” He told the younger one. For now. Assuming we don’t run into my Gideon. “And these are Meeko-“

“Meeko!” Hask barked. “I knew it!”

“ and Ilya….” Elias eyed Hask suspiciously. “And I’m Elias.”

Sergeant woofed in what had to be disapproval. 

“And Sergeant, of course.” A bear, more like.

“…And none of you are Del?” Hask asked, fist under his chin. 

“Who’s Del?” Meeko asked.

The words hit Elias like a bullet.

“I don’t know a Del either.” Ilya put in.

“I never even heard the name Elias or Meeko or Hask until now, so…” Gideon held his arms up in surrender. 

You were warned… Del’s voice floated with the wind through the room. Now deal with the consequences… Too many worlds are colliding. The Jedi can’t help you now… With that, the rumbling ceased and Del’s presence dissipated. 

“We can’t stay here, the Force is just barely keeping this temple up as it is, and I…may have broken it.” Elias grabbed his supply bag and pushed past Meeko towards the entrance. “You should all follow me unless you feel like being buried in debris.” 

Outside, the lothwolf howled a warning. The sound carried through the temple, the echoes transforming it into an ethereal song like a haunting melody. Sarge howled back, wagging his fluffy tail. Ilya flinched at the noises, fingers drumming against his shoulders. 

Elias led the very confused group back to the planet’s surface, answering questions where he could. “Does anyone not know what planet this is? You two, Ilya and Gideon, you don’t look like you’re from… around here.” The two mentioned shook their heads, still trying to process the fact they were suddenly no longer on their home world of “Earth.” Spinning on his heel to face them, he said, “This is Lothal, a planet on the Outer Rim. We’re in an ancient temple. There’s a giant lothwolf guarding the door, but it won’t hurt you so just keep moving.”

Gideon raised his hand like a child in a classroom. “What’s a lothwolf?” He looked so much like Whil with his neverending curiosity that often led to trouble. “Is it gonna mess with Sarge?”

Hask internally rolled his eyes at the boy. “You’ve tamed that beast of yours, and yet you’re afraid of the big bad lothwolf?” His blaster was set to stun, hanging from the holster at his side. Yes, he teased the young one for being frightened, but lothwolves were nasty creatures with too many teeth for his comfort. His hand flicked down to where his weapon lay, just in case. “If Sarge has any sense at all, he’ll recognize the alpha and stay in line.”

What am I meant to do with everyone here? Elias pondered the same question over and over again. No matter how many solutions he came up with, there was always something that would make such a plan fall through. I can’t just leave them stranded here, they have no transports or places to stay. Should I bring them back to the Corvus ? But what would Gideon, my Gideon, say?

He blinked as he stepped back out to the desert, allowing his eyes to readjust to the harsh sunlight. Off to his left, the lothwolf stretched and rose from its laying position. Its eyes scanned over everyone, checking all the alternate versions as they left the temple. It gave no visible reaction save for a slight flick of the tail as Sarge bounded out the door, kicking up sand in his wake. The wolf glared at Elias, its message clear: What have you done? And what are you going to do to fix it?  

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, hanging his head. Surrounded by people, some identical to him, others not, and yet he still felt alone. He’d failed in his mission, and now was in a deeper mess than before. “Force help me, I swear I’ll fix this. Somehow.” The wolf regarded him one last time before turning and vanishing into the shadows. 

“What’s this Force you keep talking about?” Ilya asked. He didn’t meet Elias’s eyes but inspected the X-Wing in amazement. He’d never seen a starship before. The once scarlet paint on the sides had faded and scratched almost beyond recognition. All the battle scars still held memories of missions with Inferno Squad, although a few were made by Tylo learning to fly. 

How do I explain the Force? Is that even possible?  

Before he had a chance to speak, however, Meeko replied “Um.. It’s this energy around us, around everything in this galaxy. I’m no Jedi, but the best thing I can say is it’s a strong power and it keeps everything in balance.” Seeing the confusion in his face, he quickly explained, “Jedi can bend the Force, making things move without touching them or sensing things before they happen, that kind of thing. They’re mostly extinct by now, but there have been stories about the ones that survived.” 

A shadow passed overhead, causing everyone to look up. Elias froze, recognizing the outline as the Corvus landed. Oh no…

Elias began to feel like a child who’d been caught in trouble. Sure enough, his Gideon was standing there on the top of the ramp, arms crossed. 

The ramp lowered to the ground and Sergeant bounded forward, dancing at the bottom on his front paws as Gideon came down.

“Hi…. Thing.” Gideon said, moving out of Sergeant’s way until Other Gideon called him back. 

“Who are these?!” 

“….Me?” Elias said it like a question. 

Hask wasn’t impressed with the newcomer, he probably figured what was going on. He seemed pretty smart. And he seemed angry.

“Another one of those… tricks.” He growled.

From the top of the ramp, a frantic voice called out as two small figures bolted down the ramp, aiming for the temping grasses below.

Great, they’re gonna get sand everywhere. 

At the sight of excited humans, Sergeant barked and ran towards them. 

Whil and Eliot froze, like they weren’t sure what to do.

“He’s fine, boys.” Elias sighed. They’re the least of my worries. “Don’t go too far. Stay within sight of the Corvus and take Dio with you.” 

Gideon-young Gideon- leaned down to show them how to play with Sergeant before sending them off. 

“Is he okay…?” Hask finally asked about Ilya. 

“Hmm?” Elias wasn’t that concerned about him at the moment, he was too busy being concerned for all of them.

The tallest Elias was staring absently until space, seemingly detached from all reality. 

“I think he’s just panicking.” Meeko said calmly, watching Ilya closely. 

“Okay….”

“Why are there three versions of you?” Gideon crossed his arms.  

“…. because he messed with the very fabric of the universe.” Meeko said, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Gideon just gave his husband a disapproving look, like this was a usual occurrence.

“We’re calling him Hask.” Elias pointed to the oldest. “And he’s Gideon. So you’ll have to just be Gid or something.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. And they’re all me?”

“Still trying to figure out why.” Elias murmured.

“It’s a good thing we have a warship, then. Lots of room. Make yourselves at home, everyone.”

Chapter Text

The comm signaled from inside the cockpit, grabbing Gid's attention. That pattern, those short beeps and long dashes, meant one thing: distress call to any allies nearby. He followed the sound to the front of the Corvus and sat in the pilot's chair, pressing the button to activate the message.

The hologram flickered to life on the console, showing the image of a terrified Twi'lek bearing the symbol of the Resistance on his sleeve. "If anyone is out there, this is Grey 3 requesting backup. Our mission went sideways and we're stranded on Ilum. The First Order is-" The Twi'lek shouted in surprise and ducked out of view for a second, avoiding blaster fire. Returning a few shots, he turned back to the holorecorder. "I'm the last one standing. If there's anyone who can help, come to these coordinates. I'm praying someone arrives in time, but if not…" His lekku twitched in fear before laying still with forced calmness. "Long live the Resistance." The hologram clicked off after flashing a set of coords.

Gid quickly input the numbers into the autopilot and started the jump to hyperspace. He headed back to the common area where his husband and the alternate versions waited. "We're going to Ilum," he said, pulling up the holomap to show Ilya and Gideon. "We got a distress call from a Resistance fighter. I'm not sure what we can do but we've got to try to help."

"And why should we do that?" Hask’s tone was cold. He snarled, "Let them die. Serves them right for joining those criminals." 

“Look, while you’re in my universe on my ship you follow  my rules.”

“Technically this would be Captain Versio’s ship.” Hask shot back, while the others watched a very interesting tennis match.

“ Commander Versio is indisposed at the moment.” 

“Right. Motherhood. I should have known.” Hask scoffed.

Gid stood up quickly from the controls, standing over Hask by a few inches. 

“I’m getting tired of your attitude.” He said, jabbing a finger into his chest. “If you don’t want to participate, you don’t have to. But I don’t want you bringing toxicity into my ship.” 

Hask raised his arms in surrender. He knew it was futile to argue, and also to try to stop or change anything. He knew what harm it could bring. He didn’t like it, but he would be smart about it.

Ilya calmed down considerably once the arguing was over. 

“What is Ilum?” Gideon ventured.

“It’s an ice planet.” Meeko supplied. “Hardly hospitable.”

“I like ice!”  Gideon seemed excited.

“You’re a skater, of course you like ice.” Ilya pushed his glasses further up his nose, the same habit as both his counterparts.

“How did you know I’m a skater?” 

Ilya shrugged. “I’ve seen you on TV. American Champion, right?”

Was it Gid’s imagination, or did Gideon blush?

“What planet is “America?” Meeko asked curiously.

“It’s… complicated.” Gideon decided not to share too much about how things are on Earth. 

“Well, this means Elias and I have a job to do. You all will have to stay here and watch the kids, I guess.” 

“Can I go skate?” Gideon asked.

“Um…probably not right now.” Gid had to be so patient with the boy and remember he wasn’t part of their war-torn Galaxy.

“Children love me.” Ilya remarked, drumming his fingers.

Meeko shrugged. “How hard can it be?”

______________________

After hearing about the mission, Iden volunteered to come along. “Anything to get off this ship for a while,” she’d told Gid. Double-checking that Dio’s power was still full, she let it attach to her back and started down the ramp. The wind blew around her, making her shiver and pull her scarf up a little higher.

She pulled out her binoculars and scanned the horizon for any sign of the troubled Resistance member. She caught a glimpse of smoke trailing upwards and followed it to the familiar outline of a crashed X-Wing stuck out of a snow bank. This isn’t my fight. I have a family now, we can’t get caught up in another war. But even as she thought those words, she knew in her heart that she couldn’t sit around while someone died, not when she could have tried to help. Not again.

Pointing out the wreck to the others, they began the journey forwards into the snow. It wasn’t far, but the snow blinded them and several times they slid on the unseen ice patches beneath their feet. Once Elias almost fell, but Gid caught him by the arms before he could hit the ground. They arrived at the crash site and looked for any clues about where the Twi’lek might have gone. Off in the distance a massive dark shape stood out against the white surface. Taking out her binoculars again Iden saw a symbol of a 16-rayed sun inside a red hexagon, the same symbol that Hask wore on his cap. “That must be the First Order. Come on,” she said as she pushed forward.

Sneaking around an enemy base came easy to Iden after years of running missions for the Rebellion. She took the lead, becoming Commander Versio once again, following the sound of screams in hopes they would lead her to the brave young hero. She tracked down where the officers held him. Dio slipped in through the air vents and scanned the room, sending the data back to Iden’s commlink. “Three soldiers, all armed, and the Twi’lek is strapped down to the table,” she relayed to Elias and Gid, “We get in, take them down, and get out without sounding the alarm. On three.” She counted down and kicked the door open. 

As expected they took the officers by surprise. Gid sent one to the floor with a blaster shot through the helmet. Iden took out the others, leaving a smoking hole in their chest plates. “Elias, can you…” He didn’t bother answering as he was already undoing the latches keeping their captured ally down. Once he was free, Elias helped him to his feet, noticing how unnaturally pale his teal skin was. He couldn’t be any older than 19. 

They get younger every time.

“What’s your name, kid?” Elias kept a steady hand around his waist, ensuring he would be able to move without fear of losing his balance.

“J-Jawo.” Stuttering. Not a great sign.  

Iden turned for the briefest of moments. “Well, Jawo, we’re gonna get you home. Don’t worry.” A small beeping noise came from one of the dead soldier’s helmets. Dammit. The alarm blared overhead, giving away their position. “We gotta move, they know we’re here!” She looked back down the hall a second too late to see the patrolling trooper taking aim. Two shots fired, one from Iden and one from the trooper who was now falling to the ground. Jawo cried out and clamped a hand to the bloody hole in his torso. He stayed up only because Elias tightened his grip on the young man. 

Behind them, Gid stumbled back against the wall. His husband glanced over his shoulder, yelling in panic at the dark stain slowly spreading on his shirt. Gid took a deep breath in a useless attempt to steady himself. Panicking will only make it worse. Stay focused on the mission, soldier. Get Jawo to safety, then worry about your wound.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, though he hated lying to Elias, “Focus on the kid.” Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stand and keep moving. Of course they had to shoot my blaster arm. 

They continued on, taking down officers when they could, until they were out of the base. “Not the smoothest op we’ve pulled, but at least it was successful. You good to head back to our ship, kid?” Iden holstered her weapon after declaring the area clear. 

  Elias shook his head. “It’s too far and too cold out here. Blaster shot to the stomach, he’d bleed out before we could reach the medbay. I packed a few stim packs to keep him conscious at least for a while.” As carefully as he could, he helped Jawo down to the soft snow. While Elias dug in his portable medkit, Jawo tugged his shirt collar down to provide an injection site. “We’ve only got two so let’s make this count. Gid, you take one.” He tossed the small syringe of green liquid to him. “Isolde can patch you up on the Corvus , she knows how to clean a wound. My…Meeko and Ilya can help take care of Jawo.” He injected Jawo with the medicine, making sure the painkillers didn’t make him numb.

“Good to go?” 

“Yeah. Thanks. Where’s the ship?” Jawo held onto Elias again but was far more stable than before. 

“This way.” Iden let Dio scout ahead, both to check the path was clear and to let the rest of the crew know they were on their way back with a wounded patient. “Let’s go, I’m sure your boys have found something to keep themselves entertained while we’ve been gone.”

“Not too entertained, I hope,” Gid chuckled. His laughter quickly turned to wincing as the slight movement irritated his wound further. He slipped his unused stim into his pocket, out of sight of Elias. Kid needs it more than I do. Let’s just hope he won’t have to use it before we’re back home.  

______________________

Besides the kids, the only one who seemed to be enjoying the snow was Sergeant, who was naturally in his element. The adults all knew that there really wasn’t that much to be celebrated about snow. 

The kids (even the teenagers) chased Sergeant around and later made a snowman, with Meeko, Gideon, and their aunt’s help.

Hask, pouting, was only at the top of the ramp watching with Ilya. 

“What are you going on about now?”

“I’m worried the baby will catch frostbite.” Chaol was bundled up so much that his little arms stuck out to the sides while sitting  on Isolde’s hip.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” 

“I dealt with this problem every day as a child.” Ilya kicked at some ice that was forming. “Snow up to your waist for the walk to school. It’s nothing new. And it’s starting to pick up.” 

“Wait a second-“ Hask said, nudging Elias lightly. “They’re missing two. Where’s those two mischief makers?” 

Ilya followed his gaze to the group. He counted three adults, four kids. There were indeed two missing.

“Hey, kid!” Hask waved at their younger selves. “Do a head count!” 

Gideon and Meeko also stopped packing snow to glance around. 

“It’s Whil and Eliot. Who else?” Isolde asked. “Alright, girls, come inside for a bit.”

“Do we need to go looking?” Asked Tylo.

“No, help me take care of the younger ones inside.”

Sergeant trotted out in a different direction, his nose buried in the snow. After a few seconds he barked urgently. 

“What’s he on about?” Hask asked, and Gideon turned. The figure of Sergeant, barely visible in the snow, stood alert, tail wagging. 

“Newfies are search and rescue dogs. He might have picked up on their scent.” Gideon started down the ramp again, and this time, Hask followed, trying to convince himself to turn around the whole time.

“What is it, Sarge?”

Sergeant shoved his nose into the snow and whimpered. 

“Footprints.” Hask pointed. “Tiny ones. They went that way.” 

Gideon said something in a language Hask didn’t recognize to Sergeant that sent him ahead. Part of Hask would rather have the droid to it- but the droid was with Iden and Elias and Gid.

“I guess the beast has a use after all.”

When they caught up to Sergeant, he was sitting at the place where the footprints stopped, pawing at the ground and whining. 

“Where’d they go?”

“Shh…” Gideon said, and Hask shut his mouth for whatever reason.

The wind howled. But just above it, the sound that Gideon was familiar with most of all.

Ice.

Cautiously he put his foot forward, and sure enough, it was slick.

“Ice.” 

“We’ll never find them now.” Hask cupped his hands to his mouth to hopefully amplify his voice. “Boys! It’s time to come home! It’s too dangerous to be out there!”

No response. Gideon tapped the ice nervously. 

“It’s not very thick, for some reason.”

“Nearby geyser, maybe?” Hask pointed out.

“Or that weird factory they’re building.”

“Right, factory… ”

They waited a few months more before shouting again. This time, a shrill voice called back. 

“ Help!”

“Right. Sarge and I are going out there.”

“What!”

“I told you, he’s a rescue dog.” Gideon told Sergeant something and sent him in the direction of the kids. 

“He’s going to break the ice!”

“He can swim!” Gideon called, skidding across the ice in his boots. He wasn’t wearing skates, so it was harder to stay centered, but he managed. Close enough.

Sergeant was raising cane, and the snow was so bad he could hardly see what was happening until he heard the splashing. 

“Boys!”

Two voices called out in fear. Gideon knew not to test the ice any more. Lying on his belly, he stretched out his hand for the nearest human shaped blob he could see. 

Cold, wet fabric skimmed his fingers. Gideon cursed, and tried again. This time he got a better handful. Pulling with all his strength, soon the little boy was up on the ice and in his arms. 

“Hey, Hask!” Gideon yelled. “I’ve got one! Yell so he can hear you.”

The older man yelled back. And for once, the kid used the mischievous energy to run straight back where he belonged. 

“This one’s Whil.” Hask yelled next. “You’re looking for the brown haired one, now!”

Gideon squinted.

No other hints of red or blue or any other fabric. Until-

Green in the corner of his eye. Gideon reached, and-

The ice cracked beneath him. For a few seconds he was submerged in cold water and falling, until-

“Gotcha!” Hask said, pulling up the younger man by the collar. The crack had extended all the way to the shore and Gideon had travelled all that way in just a few seconds.

“Where’s-“ Gideon asked, teeth chattering.

“Don’t.” Hask warned. “Save yourself, first. We got one of them.” 

“S-Sarge?”

Hask had a brief moment of horror. What happens if someone dies in this universe?

But then there was a black blur paddling towards him. 

The beast actually did it.

Hask hauled up the freezing boy and instinctively wrapped him in his arms. Gideon would have to live, because otherwise this boy might not. 

Retracing their steps wasn’t a problem, at least. The Eliases had found them instead, with emergency blankets for the boys and Gideon.

“I guess that beast of yours is okay.” Hask said, looking to where Sergeant was shaking himself free of all the water and snow. 

“I told you, he’s a rescue dog.” Gideon’s teeth chattered. He needed to get out of those clothes and under some blankets.

“I’m not even going to ask what happened.” Isolde frowned at the scene. 

Probably unlike her. Gideon assumed. 

Meeko took the older twin, who wasn’t underwater for nearly as long as his brother and was thus already on the way to recovery. 

Isolde and Ilya focused on the other. 

“More blankets?”

Isolde shook her head. “This is all we have.” 

Sergeant whimpered, and nudged the back of Ilya’s knee with his nose. 

“Yeah, alright.” Ilya said. 

Sergeant hopped up onto the bed, nudging his way under the blankets to the shivering boy. His thick fur was an extra layer of warmth that no one could have remembered about. 

“Bring Whil over here, too.” Isolde instructed, and Meeko carried him over to join his brother and the dog, who pressed his nose to Will’s forehead so the boy smiled. 

Eliot had finally stopped shivering. 

Just a few minutes later, Iden, Gid, and Elias returned, accompanied by an injured Twi’lek .

Ilya’s eyes widened. 

At first, everyone assumed it was that he’d never seen a Twi'lek before, but Elias could hear him muttering to himself in Russian: I’m just upset that I don’t know what to do.

He was defaulting to being a savior.

 “Isolde, is everything prepped? We’ve got a Twi’lek with an abdominal blaster shot, he’s already had a stim but it’s wearing off.” Jawo laid on the operation table. The cold metal made him flinch but he didn’t resist as Isolde gave him the anesthetic. “I’ve got this, go take care of Gid. He got hit in the shoulder.” 

“You can’t take care of a case like this yourself. Where’s the other you, Ilya, was it?” 

“Ilya doesn’t know Twi’leks.”

“But I know pediatrics. He’s 19, you said?"

Isolde hustled back to Gid’s side, who was cringing on the bed beside his sons. 

“‘Sold-“ Gid groaned, grasping her arm with his other hand and eyeing the bed over her shoulder, where Gideon was looking at him with wide eyes as he slowly pet Sergeant. “The boys don’t need to see this.”

Isolde nodded and activated the fogging wall between Gid and the boy’s cubicle. Then she began to peel Gid’s shirt off, exposing the wound to the air.

“You didn’t take a stim shot!” Isolde accused as soon as she could see the damage.

“Of course not. I didn’t need it.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t need the epidural when I delivered two kids.”

Gid grunted, thinking back to that day. He wanted to forget most of it, primarily because of her labor. 

“Touché.”

“This is going to hurt because I’m catching this infection before it takes hold.”

Right. But it’s my own fault.

That still didn’t prepare him for the sting of the antiseptic, which finally shocked him enough that his eyes closed and he passed out.

Chapter Text

“The hell happened here?!” Gid demanded after he woke up, seeing everyone gathered around Gideon, who was only in shorts with an emergency blanket around his bare shoulders, and the two boys with every other blanket in the medbay. 

“They decided to go swimming.” Isolde summed up, and Gid rolled his eyes. 

“But they’re okay?”

“Eliot was in there longer.” Gideon reported. “But if not for Hask, we wouldn’t have gotten him at all.”

And Whil would have lost his twin. Elias shuddered, looking to where the boys now cuddled up with Sergeant, who looked right at home despite his earlier swim.

Gid looked at Hask and gave him an impressed, thankful nod. Then, he scanned the room and saw the dejected faces of Ilya and Meeko, sitting adjacent to each other so that their knees were touching.

“It’s the kid, isn’t it?” Gid asked his husband when he could see him again. 

“Didn’t make it. Too much blood loss, and we don’t have that many resources for non-humans on this ship.” 

Gid nodded grimly. “We never knew his mission?”

“Not that I can recall.”

“I think, Hask said something about a factory.” Said a younger version of Gideon’s voice coming up from behind Elias.

“Factory? What kind?” 

“I dunno. He just got all reminiscent when he said it, though, I forget we’re from different times and places. He has the answer, I know it.” Gideon’s finger combed nervously through his hair. 

“Is it right to make him tell us is the question.” Elias voiced for all of them. "Oh, I hate ethical dilemmas.”

“Me, too. But this time, it might be the best choice, for everyone.”

“But, it might change too much.” Gideon pointed out, sounding almost like Meeko in that moment. 

They both stared at him, and he shrunk away.

“Where is Hask?” Gid muttered, scared for a moment that the older man was off up to no good.

“I’ll find him.” Elias said, and started on a lap around the ship. When he found no sign of Hask, he, too, began to panic. 

Until he heard the giggles of his son and peeked inside the cubicle. 

Oh, there he is. 

Apparently, Gideon had taught Hask some of the commands for Sergeant (or maybe Hask had just come up with his own.) 

“ Roulez!” Hask commanded, and Sergeant flopped onto his back and rolled back up, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and watching Hask’s fists carefully. 

Whil found this extremely funny, and Eliot cracked a smile, but was still feverish, and Elias was praying that those toes and fingers that were frostbitten were going to be able to stay. 

Sergeant was standing up on the bed, so higher up than Hask was seated in the chair.  He barked in his face a few times, offended that he wasn’t rewarded for the tricks he’d been performing. 

“Thought I’d run away on you?” He asked Elias.

“No.” Elias lied.

“You’re a bad liar. I have no idea why I married you.” Hask said, standing up as Isolde slipped back into the room with some soup for the boys, and what looked like a thigh bone from a bantha. 

“Here you go, Sergeant.” She said, setting it down on the floor. The dog eagerly jumped down and tucked it between his two paws, demolishing the remaining meat and then gnawing away. To the boys, she handed Whil his own bowl of soup and sat down on the bed beside Eliot, pulling him into her lap to help spoon the soup into his mouth.

“Gid was asking about them.”

“I said Whil could visit him later, but told Gid not to move. Will you take him a bowl?”

Elias nodded, and picked one up, crossing back to his husband’s cubicle.

“I haven’t checked up on you ever since all of this happened.” He said, setting the bowl on the table beside Gid’s bed. He felt terrible, and hung his head in shame. “I was too absorbed in myself.” 

“At this point, Elias, I’m not concerned about our new guests. They seem to be doing okay. I’m still concerned for Iden, and for our boys having gotten in trouble like they did.”

Elias smiled a bit. “You act as if that was the first time.”

“It certainly wouldn’t be.” Gid laughed a bit, pulling up his legs so that Elias had room to sit. 

“You need to eat.” 

“I’m not hungry. Food can wait.” Parenting had taught Gid to recognize the small moments he could get one-on-one with his husband. I can eat when Whil visits later.

Elias took the invitation and leaned into him. 

“None of them know who he is.” Elias whispered.  “I think, when I asked for Del not to have any pain, it erased him completely.”

Gid held him close, unsure of what to say. “You couldn’t have known any of this would happen,” he murmured. Ever so gently, he ran his hands through Elias’s hair, just as he always did when comforting him. Words never mattered in times like this, it was the simple actions of being beside him, with soft touches, that soothed the stress and pain the most. “We’ll figure this out together. We always do.” Elias nodded, ruffling the collar of Gid’s shirt. “What’s our first step?”

Elias sat up and shook his head in confusion. “I’ve been asking myself that since it happened. If I knew what went wrong, maybe we could work out a plan from there, but…” 

Tiny footsteps echoed down the hall, the sound preceding the arrival of Will. “Papa! Dad!” 

Leave it to the boys to spoil a nice moment alone. Gid leaned over the side of the bed and picked up his son. “Hey, kid. What are you up to? Wasn’t Hask watching you?” Sure enough, much louder and faster footsteps followed where the little one had been. 

Hask skidded around the corner, sighing in relief at the sight of Whil sitting calmly in his father’s lap. “Rule number one, child: Don’t wander off like that!” He stepped into the room, arms crossed. “I turned around for one second to take care of your brother and you slipped out the door. Are you trying to give me a heart attack, youngling?” 

Whil only gave a tiny smile, as though he wasn’t sorry at all and would do it again given the opportunity. He slid out of his father’s one-handed grip and clambered down to the floor. Hask moved to block the exit before addressing the other men. 

“Are we interrupting something?” His eyes darted between the couple. Although his voice stayed perfectly in control, Gid had learned that was his attempt to not show how shocked he was. 

Didn’t he just complain about us? He said he’d never allow himself to marry a man like me.

Meanwhile, Whil was trying to weasel his way through Hask’s legs, making him stare in slight disgust before picking the smaller twin up by the shoulder.

“Hey, careful!” Elias squawked. “You’ll hurt his arm!”

But all Hask did was place the boy gingerly back on the bed. 

“I can go get him some clothes.” He said awkwardly, as if he even knew where the twins room was. 

Elias hadn’t batted an eye about the fact that the boys only had on their underwear during recovery. Most patients only had on the base layers during treatment. 

Anything to make him flustered, he laughed a bit to himself.

Gid also laughed, reaching out to Will’s head of curly dirty blond hair. 

“Driving your uncle mad, are you?” He asked. 

Uncle was the default for the boys here, there was too much for them to understand. 

A few seconds later, and Isolde rushed into the cubicle, Sergeant behind her (apparently he would just follow whoever fed him last). 

“Elias,” she said, gravely. “I need you to take a look at Eliot. I think it’s spreading.”

“Of course.” Elias nodded, standing up and back into medic mode. 

“What- what’s spreading?” Gid demanded. 

“The frostbite.” Isolde came and sat beside Gid now. “Oh Gideon, his little hands and feet…”

Gid knew when Isolde needed comfort as much as he did. He opened his good arm for her to snuggle close.

“I’m sure he’ll survive without a few fingers. Up to making more mischief soon.”

Even Whil had gone suddenly quiet, cradling his left hand. He never saw his parents cry like this before. 

“Dad?” A new, older voice knocked on the outside. 

“I brought Will’s pajamas. Thought he’d want them.” Tylo said, holding them out to help his younger brother into them. 

“Did Hask find you?”

“I found him getting lost, then redirected him to the mess. Hanan’s cooking the real meal since mom was busy with the soup.”

Gid turned to Isolde, “See, I’m glad at least one of them inherited your cooking skills.”

The elder of the twins finished wiggling into his shirt, then immediately started clambering on his brother’s back. 

“Is Eliot going to be alright?”

“Elias is finding that out right now.” Gid said, nervously. “We all have to wait just a little bit longer.”

______________________

Eliot’s tiny hands were beginning to turn grey. Ilya studied them closely, delicately turning his little palms over in his own, making mental notes in Russian before translating to the boy’s father. “The nerve damage is too severe. His right hand may be okay but the left… His pinky and ring finger will have to be amputated.” Eliot kicked lightly as Ilya moved to inspect his toes. 

“Well, he can feel that, that’s good.” Elias distracted his son with his favorite toy. He made it dance around the room, preventing him from interfering with Ilya’s work. 

“Less damage here than I expected,” Ilya reported. “Only one looks dead, he should be able to keep the rest.” He looked at Elias and asked, “Can we do the procedure here? I can handle it if you have what I need.” 

“Let me tell Gid and the others, but yes. Isolde can help, she knows where all our equipment is.” He poked his head around the corner to the other cubicle where Gid was waiting not-so-patiently, getting his bandages changed. “Isolde, you’re needed in the OR, can you show Ilya where everything is?” She nodded and grabbed a pair of new gloves. 

Elias could hear the sounds of a tired teenager and a screaming four-year-old out in the hall. He sat beside his husband whose pleading eyes begged for good news. “He’s going to lose a few fingers and a toe, but he’ll be fine. Ilya and Isolde are with him now. How’s Whil taking it?”

“He doesn’t like being separated, as you can probably tell. Tylo is outside with him taking a few laps around the Corvus trying to work out some of the energy. I also think I saw Sergeant chasing after them, so that might help distract them.” 

“Don’t tell me we need a pet…” Elias groaned.

"If Chaol decides he likes him, we may not have much of a choice," Gid chuckled. "I don't think we've got…what did he call it? A "dog"...in our galaxy. The closest thing might be a lothwolf, and I don't think they'd be too good around babies." 

His husband finally smiled again. “Finally, we’re agreeing on something again.”

Gid leaned over to kiss him, now that they were alone. Leaning forward hurt his shoulder, though, and he could only bear it for so long.

“Rest for now.” Elias told him, pushing him back. “I’ll go help Ilya with Eliot and wake you afterwards.”

Gid nodded, and before he had even closed his eyes he was drifting off.

______________________

Meeko wasn’t sure about sharing a room with Gideon. Particularly, Gideon and his dog. Mostly the dog, however friendly he might be.

Still reeling from the loss of the rebel from earlier, Meeko forced himself to the mess hall and sat alone. Hask was there too, not touching his food, but the reason was certainly not that it tasted bad. It was some of the best food Meeko had ever tasted.

“Can I sit with you?”

Meeko looked up in slight surprise. No one ever asked to sit with him.

“Sure.”

Gideon sat down across from him. “It’s weird,” he said. “Everyone else on this ship is so much older than us.”

“Except for the kids.” 

“No, Gid and Elias have a few close to our age. By the way, how old are you?”

Meeko sipped some water. “Seventeen standard years.”

“So am I!” Gideon said, and then flushed. “I don’t know how long a standard year is, though. I only know Earth years.”

They looked up when they heard the telltale noises of an unhappy child, mingled with the exasperated voice of an adult, and also Sergeant’s nails tapping on the odd material the floor of the ship was made of. He still carried the bone Isolde had given him in his mouth.

“Ilya said the little one has to get surgery. The frostbite was too much.”

Gideon sighed wistfully. “I wish we could have saved him sooner. Though, if Sarge wasn’t there he wouldn’t be safe at all.”

At the mention of his name, Sergeant trotted over and stuck his giant head on Gideon’s knee. 

“Thank you for that.” Gideon lifted the bone between two fingers, ignoring all the slobber, and dropped it at his feet for Sergeant to resume chewing on. But the dog only whined and bumped his nose against Gideon’s leg.

“Alright, soon. Let me finish eating first.”

“It’s good. You’ll like it.” Meeko encouraged.

“I have no idea what I’m even eating.” Gideon admitted, and tentatively took a bite of bantha steak. His eyes lit up.

“Hey, this isn’t that bad!” 

“What were you expecting?”

Gideon shrugged, glancing back in the direction of Tylo and Whil, who was beating on his brother’s back as he tried to eat.

“This is why I’m never having kids.” Gideon murmured. “That and the fact that I’m gay.” 

Meeko dropped his fork into the middle of his veggies. “You are?”

“Yeah.”

“Me, too.”

“Nice.” Gideon stirred around the mashed potato-looking item on his plate. It tasted similar, too. 

Breaking a diet is worth this, he decided. It’s not every day you wake up in another Galaxy.

He took another bite.

I need to practice. No ice around here, though. Oh well. At least I can still work on off-ice materials. 

“Ever had a boyfriend?” Meeko wondered out of nowhere.

“A few. Single for now.” Gideon didn’t know why he was telling Meeko this. Usually he didn’t tell anyone.

Sergeant whined again, more insistently.

“What is it?”

“He has to go outside again. It’s a good thing we’re back on that planet with grass on it, otherwise I’m not sure what he’d do. Probably go a bit crazy.” He stood up. “Guess we’re headed out.”

“I’ll come with you.” Meeko offered, for some reason. Fresh air always helped him feel better.

“I’m going to see if Tylo wants to go with us. It might distract Whil a bit more and give him a break.”

Meeko shrugged as Gideon walked over and conversed with the other teenager. Whil squealed with glee and grasped onto Gideon’s back next, startling him a bit, but he didn’t show it. 

“Toss this and he’ll chase it.” Gideon told Will, handing him a tennis ball he’d found in the bag that had come with him. 

Meeko watched as the boy threw the ball as far as he possibly could, which wasn’t far at all, but it bounced so much Sergeant had a hard time tackling it. 

The lothwolf from earlier watched, unimpressed, almost like he was calling Sergeant pathetic for allowing himself to be so domesticated.

Gideon was absently clearing the ground around him with his feet. 

“Do they have ice skating in this galaxy?”

“Hmm?” Meeko asked. 

“You know, ice skating. Like ballet on ice.” 

“I know what ballet is. Still nothing about this “ice skating” of yours, though.”

“I wish I could have shown you on Ilum, then.” Gideon said. But the ice there was too unpredictable. Not to mention outdoor skating can mess with your skates.

When Meeko turned away again, Gideon twisted his upper body, stretching it out. Then his legs. 

One waltz jump. Another- into a single Axel, then immediately a triple. 

Meeko’s head whirled towards him just in time to see the triple. “What was that?!” He demanded.

“One of the jumps.” Gideon said. “Triple Axel. Only forward one.” 

“That looks dangerous.”

“Oh, it is. There’s a reason I get steroid shots in my ankles sometimes.” 

Meeko shivered. The thought of unnecessary needles made him queasy.

“I’m just antsy.” Gideon went on, shaking his shoulders. 

“Do what you need.” Meeko decided, fascinated by the way Gideon could move. How high he could get. How fast he could spin, one, two, three, four rotations in just a second. 

He didn’t notice Sergeant was barreling towards him until all two hundred pounds knocked him over, and then Whil jumped on top for good measure.

“Sarge!” Gideon scolded. 

Stupid dog trying to chaperone. Meeko thought I’m not drooling over him!

Meeko cringed as he saw slobber on his hands.

“That’s enough, Sarge, take Whil back inside.” Gideon ordered, and the black beast gently took ahold of the boy’s shirt between his teeth, leading him back up the ramp and presumably to his bed to sleep.

“It’s getting dark. We should head in, too.” Gideon offered, breathing heavy from his small workout.  He wasn’t too happy with some of his jumps, but it seemed okay given the circumstances.

Right. 

Meeko cleared his throat and followed.

Chapter Text

Chaol reached for his toy lothwolf on the floor then looked up at Iden. Can you get it please? He was too young to crawl towards it and far too little to pull it to himself yet. She slid it over to him, watching with a smile as he started chewing on its ear.

Behind them the nursery door slid open as Hask entered. "Commander- Iden. Can we speak for a moment?" Chaol stopped gnawing on the plush and gave him the galaxy's smallest death glare. The child cannot possibly know what I did. He doesn't even exist in my universe. Ignoring the baby's judgemental glare he continued, "Did Elias tell you where I was before I came here?"

"No, all he said was that you came from a similar timeline." Iden scooped her baby up into her arms and moved to the chair. "Why do you ask?" 

Because I killed your husband. Because I watched as a Sith invaded his memories. Because I planned to hunt you and your daughter down as well. "I just thought I should tell you before things get too complicated around here. There's no easy way to say this." He took the other seat, unable to meet her eyes. "Iden… In my universe, I am the reason your husband died."

Iden didn't respond. She set Chaol back in his crib with a forced calmness. He shrieked in protest and rolled over, trying to see what was going on. Sitting back in the chair, she kept her attention solely on the man across the room. "Talk."

Where do I begin? "When you and Del defected, I stayed with the Empire. I didn't have Elias to talk me out of it, so Inferno Squad fell apart. Eventually the Empire dissolved and I was…lost for a while." I should have messaged you. I should have tried to find you, but it's too late for that now. He didn't voice these thoughts, but carried on with his confession. "When the First Order began, I joined immediately."

"The First Order?" Iden interrupted. "The ones that killed Jawo and his team?"

He removed his cap from his pocket and stared down at its emblem. "Yes. At the time I didn't know how many innocent people we hurt, and either way I didn't care. All I wanted was to stay in command. My team found Del on Pillio and contacted me. I went to find him but the soldiers kept me back until Kylo Ren, a Sith Lord, retrieved the information he wanted. He let me through to…" 

"Say it."

He took a breath before finally admitting, "He begged me to not go after you and your daughter. And I know I should never have gone through with it, but as he looked at me, all I felt was rage and betrayal so I-I shot him." Shoving the cap back in his pocket, Hask buried his face in his hands. “I murdered my best friend, then as I left the ship, I stepped across the rift into a different universe. Iden, I know saying it won’t bring him back, but… I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, Force knows I’ll never forgive myself for it.”

Silence hung in the room like a thick fog, neither one knowing what to say. Chaol turned his dark eyes towards Hask, seeming to relax at last. You told her. Now I can trust you. He reached out and cooed softly, little fingers grabbing the air. Hask glanced at Iden for permission before picking up the child. A tiny smile, and all at once Hask’s walls crumbled, leaving him vulnerable. 

Iden spoke first, keeping a neutral tone. “Knowing what you did in your timeline… I can’t forgive that. But I will let you stay on the Corvus as long as you need.” She noticed the tears in his eyes as he finally looked at her and nodded in understanding. “If… When you go back, just know you have a choice to make. A choice to be better.” She echoed Luke’s words that influenced her and Del’s decision to fight for a better galaxy. 

“Iden,” he called as she turned to leave the nursery. “Thank you.” 

“You didn’t tell me this for my sake. You could’ve kept it to yourself until you left, but you didn’t. Part of you needed to be honest, to apologize for the pain you caused. I think that part can still be saved.” The door closed behind her.

Chaol tilted his head to gaze behind Hask. See, Dada? I knew he could do it.

“Let’s go outside, little one.” Hask cradled the child as though he were the most fragile thing in the galaxy. “I can show you the stars and tell you about all the planets I’ve seen.” Well, maybe I’ll keep the details to myself…but you can hear the names of them at least.

Hask spread a blanket on the grass. He held Chaol so they both could see all the constellations above them. Tracing in the sky he showed the baby a few of his favorites. “That one is the Astromech. Can you see the dome?” Chaol babbled happily, starlight reflecting in his eyes. “And that one there, I always thought it looked like an Ewok, although your mother never agreed.” 

In the darkness Hask couldn’t tell what had pressed up against his back, but by the size he assumed Sarge had wandered out of the ship to sit with them. Chaol lightly grabbed at the animal’s snout, knowing exactly who had come to see this gentle moment. Hi Dada! Look, Uncle Hask is showing me stars! Aren’t they pretty?  

The lothwolf nuzzled against the baby’s tummy softly before laying down. Chaol kept a hand on the wolf’s fur and fussed at Hask, asking to be put down. Still under the impression that the Newfie (is that what Gideon called him?) was the one wanting to cuddle with the child, Hask obliged, setting Chaol down against its side. The dim light of the twin moons shone down, and he knew they’d be safe until dawn.

______________________

What woke Hask wasn't the light from sunrise or the sudden change in temperature, but the sound of Chaol giggling. He rolled onto his side to see what the little one was up to, but froze at the sight of a lothwolf standing over the child. That's not the one that guarded the temple when I arrived. 

Its fur was dark brown, save for a few small patches of white here and there. In its teeth it held a small twig, which Chaol kept trying to grab but missed every time. The wolf's tail wagged as though very entertained by the noises the baby made. But the most intriguing thing about the wolf were its eyes. No lothwolf has green eyes, it's impossible. It must think Chaol is its pup, I've got to get him away from it without aggravating the beast.

Hask's hand darted to his hip where his holster lay, but the blaster wasn't there. As silently as possible, he rose and scanned for anything that could distract it. Chaol squealed at the movement, causing the wolf to turn around. It cocked its head curiously and dropped the stick, acting less like a wild animal and more like a playful pet. Slowly as he dared, he moved forward in an attempt to remove Chaol from the wolf's reach. Why isn't it aggressive? It's just…sitting there. 

The wolf was only a few inches from Hask as he carefully picked Chaol up. It's going to attack at any second. Can I get inside before it realizes what I'm doing? It pulled back and for a moment, Hask thought he was about to meet a bloody death, but it merely sat down and looked towards the Corvus . 

Chaol cried as Hask carried him back to the ship, waving his arms trying to touch the lothwolf one last time. "No, child, the doggy cannot come inside. We've already got one, you can play with Sarge later if you behave. Let's get you back to your mother, I'm sure she's wondering where I've taken you."

______________________

Keeping Whil away from Eliot was a total nightmare. After his interlude with Sergeant, he wouldn’t sleep, kicking at Isolde and Elias when they tried to keep him between them on the bed. 

When morning came and Eliot woke up from the anesthesia, Whil was right there at his door, pressing his face against it until Ilya opened it. 

“Careful-“ he exclaimed, as he caught Whil in midair before he crushed his poor brother.

There was no audible reunion between the two. Ilya understood- relationships didn’t need words anyway. He wondered what it was like to have a twin, someone he was that close to.

Gid also shuffled through to hug his son, and Elias and Isolde weren’t far behind. 

The fact that he had missing digits didn’t seem to bother Eliot at all- although Whil whined about it, wanting to match his brother in all things. 

How to explain to a four year old that they aren’t actually identical.

As Ilya watched the little family, he thought back to the pair of twins he’d recently had as patients, how he felt he’d failed them, how one had died and the other had to learn to live with that hole in his heart, because Ilya couldn’t save them both.

You saved this one.

And Ilya smiled.

“What’s that funny thing you’re doing with your face?” Gid asked, sarcastically, but of course Ilya didn’t pick up on the joke.

“Smiling,” he said. 

“Smiling.” Gid repeated, and opened his good arm for a hug.

“No thanks.” Ilya started tapping his shoulders nervously. 

But to everyone’s shock, it was Whil who surged forward and wrapped his tiny arms around Ilya’s neck. Of course he instinctively wrapped his arms around the boy too, securing him.

“Thank you,” Whil whispered, so quiet that Ilya knew no one would believe him, nor wanted to. 

Ilya felt something building up, then. Tears. In his eyes. Of course- he was shedding tears for his patient as he always did. 

But this time, happy tears. 

Ilya placed a giant hand on the boy’s back and held him close, rocking from side to side, until Whil started squirming and Ilya let him back down.

“Tell your brother to be careful for a few days. No walking.”

Eliot pouted. “Sarge.” He murmured. 

“I’ll go get him.” Ilya smiled. Meeko and Gideon were in the room beside his. He knew where Sergeant would be.

He knocked on their door, not used to the fact that it simply opened at the motion of his hand.

“I was wondering if-“ Ilya stopped talking when he noticed that the bed he faced was empty, except for the giant black figure of Sergeant.

From the other bed in the room, Gideon sat up, shirtless, or maybe worse, with Meeko following in a similar state a moment later.

“Oh.” Ilya said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Can I take Sergeant?”

“Sure. Go ahead.” Gideon said quickly, saying an order to Sergeant.

“Sorry to disturb.” Ilya said, as he turned away and followed Sergeant out of the room. 

Meeko laughed before falling back onto the pillows. Gideon followed a moment later, and Meeko turned onto his side to look at him. 

“That was fun.” 

“Which part?” Gideon smirked back. 

“Don't be like that-“ Meeko flushed. “But we should probably get up. Someone might need you to control Sergeant.”

“I think we’re fine right here-“ Gideon reached out and pulled Meeko close to him. 

Meeko remembered what had led to all of this. He and Gideon had gone to the gym to work out together. Meeko had gotten a look at his muscles and, well- Gideon blamed it on the hormones and the fact that Meeko got so close to him when he was inspecting his wounds. 

“I’m no stranger to doing it in the gym.” He’d said before Meeko insisted they get at least back to the bedroom.

I’m not sure if I love him yet, but last night was quite… nice.

He’s nice.

Am I just horny?

Meeko let himself close his eyes and drift back to sleep as Gideon held him, then slowly let go.

“Hmm?” He asked, rolling back over.

“Isn’t it a bit weird? Here we are, alternate realities… falling into some kind of emotion.”

“No.” Meeko shrugged. “To me, you’re just any other boyfriend. My first, actually.”

“ Oh .” Gideon said. 

“Does that change something?” Meeko wondered, nervously.

“Of course not.” Gideon murmured. “Now uh, if we aren’t getting out of bed…. Would you mind holding me, instead?”

Meeko didn’t know how. But he would try.

He wrapped his arms around Gideon’s back. 

Maybe I am worthy of love, after all.

Chapter Text

Chaol screamed from his crib, summoning the closest person, which happened to be his sister Briya. She picked him up just as her mother showed her, making sure to support his head. “What do you want?” She asked, rocking him lightly. Checking the holoclock, she continued, “It’s not time for a bottle yet.” 

Chaol fussed again, reaching in the direction of the nursery door. He couldn’t explain that he wanted to see the lothwolf waiting outside the Corvus so he simply tugged his sister’s hair in an attempt to steer her into the hall. “Ow! Okay, we’ll go find Mama if you let go.” He babbled in satisfaction that his plan worked, and she carried him out of the nursery. 

She hummed a lullaby to her baby brother as they navigated the twists and turns, checking the rooms for any sign of where their mother might be. She passed by the door leading to the exit ramp, causing Chaol to grab another fistful of hair and pull to make Briya stop walking. Open the door. He’s right there, I know it. Let him in. “You’ve really got to stop doing that, there are other ways to get attention.” She shifted her stance to temporarily get a hand loose, removing the loose strands from the baby’s grip. He looked pointedly at the door until she got the message. “Okay, we can go outside, but only for a few minutes. Mama doesn’t like it if she can’t be with us.” 

Briya pressed the button to open the door, jumping back in shock as the lothwolf entered the ship. “Mama!” She screamed as loudly as she could, but Chaol giggled at the sight of the animal. Backing away until she pressed against the wall, she called out again, “Mama! We’ve got a problem!” She froze as it approached, sniffing at the child in her shaky arms. Its tail wagged when Chaol touched its nose, babbling excitedly. “Chaol, no! That’s not Sarge, it’s a wild animal. Don’t touch it!”

Wild animal? It’s just Dada, can’t you see it?

Watching the gentle way the wolf nuzzled Chaol’s tummy, Briya was suddenly and painfully reminded of how her father would always tickle him when he held him. Several of her favorite stories sprang to mind, detailing how certain Jedi could take the form of an animal after death. But Dad wasn’t a Jedi. He never had the chance. And yet as it looked at her with those green eyes, just like hers, she began to understand. She spoke barely above a whisper. “Dad?” 

The wolf lifted his head and licked her forehead, the same spot Del would always kiss her goodnight as he tucked her in bed. Hey, sweetheart. Chaol, seeing that his sister finally understood, squealed happily. 

Loud footsteps resonated, followed by Iden’s voice calling for her daughter. “Briya? Are you okay?” She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of the wolf standing so close to her children. Chaol reached for her, not seeming upset at all by the sharp teeth hovering inches from his face. “Briya. Back away from the lothwolf, slowly.” 

“No, Mama, it’s okay!” She positioned herself between her mother and the animal form of her father. “It’s just Dad! Look, he’s not hurting us.” To prove her point, she handed Chaol to Iden and sat cross-legged on the floor, sinking her hands deep into the soft brown fur. “See? A wild lothwolf wouldn’t let me pet it. It’s just like that story with the Jedi and the Twi’lek!”

Why did I let your father put all those stories in your head? “Honey, those aren’t real, they’re made up. People don’t magically become animals when they die, they’re just gone.” Inching closer until she could take Briya’s arm, she slid her away from the creature. “I know you want to believe he’s still here, but he’s not. He’s not coming back, he’s gone!” Her tone came out much harsher than she intended, cursing internally as Briya recoiled in fear.

Pressing against the girl's side once more, the wolf turned and wandered off down the hall. You two work this out. With me here, it'll only make the matter worse. Chaol can find me later. 

Helping her daughter up, Iden apologized. “I’m sorry, honey, I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Come on, let’s put your brother back in his room, okay?”  Briya nodded, sniffling quietly, and followed her to the nursery. After placing Chaol back in his crib, Iden sat down in the chair and motioned for Briya to join her. “I really miss him too, betee. Every day I wish I could see him again, but that’s just not how life works.”

“But he is here, Mama! That lothwolf-” 

“-Is just that, a lothwolf. It must have followed Chaol’s scent back here.” She lightly started braiding Briya’s hair as she talked. “Fairy tales and stories don’t come true. They’re not real. And besides, we can’t keep another animal on board, you know I’m allergic.” 

“Mama, you’re not listening to me,” Briya huffed. “Chaol felt it too, he kept reaching for him. He never does that to anything he doesn’t recognize.” She looked over to the baby, almost as if asking him to take her side of the argument, then climbed off her mother’s lap. After nearly tripping over the stuffed lothwolf on the floor, she picked it up, remembering something that could help her case. “Did you see his eyes? They were green. That’s not a normal color.” 

Iden opened her mouth to respond, but paused to process her daughter’s words. She’s right… Lothwolves usually have yellow or blue eyes. I wonder if… No. He’s gone. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. But as she fought to keep her mind from racing off down illogical paths of fantasy, she still couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe there was a bit of truth to the legends after all.

______________________

By lunchtime, Gideon and Meeko still hadn’t gotten out of Meeko’s bed, until the growling of Gideon’s stomach got them both laughing. 

He crawled out of bed first since Meeko was trapped between him and the wall, and Meeko got another view of his impressive physique.

He must be the one they make those anatomy posters of.

“Like what you see?” Gideon smirked as he pulled on his odd undershorts. He refused to give up his “boxers”, even if Meeko had never heard of such an idea before. Wearing something under your pants? It had to get uncomfortable.

“Sergeant probably needs to go out after we eat.” He said as Meeko, too, finally dressed. 

“We could take a walk with him?” He asked, boldly.

Gideon cast him a look, and Meeko pulled back a bit. “If-If you want…”

“Of course I’d want to. I don’t know how much time we have together, Meeko. Let’s make the most of it.”

We slept together. Yet I’m still not brave enough to ask to hold your hand.

They ate, and then found Sergeant to take him outside. He happily pranced along, chasing animals that reminded Gideon of a cross between a fox and a cat. 

“Those are lothcats,”Meeko explained.

“Do all pets in your world use “Loth” as a prefix?” Gideon wondered. “On Earth, we just call them “cats”, and they look much different.”

“Really?” Meeko asked.

“Yeah, here, actually.” Somehow, Gideon’s iPhone still had charge after he had given up on trying to find cell service. “My coach’s cat.” 

Meeko looked. 

“What a strange creature! Though I can see the resemblance.”

“It likes to crawl on my head.” Gideon showed him the next picture, of him in bed with the cat sitting on his face. 

“What is this device?” Meeko wondered.

“A phone. Kind of like your commlink. We use it to take pictures and send messages.”

“So, a mini datapad.”

“…Sure.” Gideon stopped walking suddenly, and snapped a picture of Meeko half-covering his eyes, and Sergeant bounding towards him in the background. It was surprisingly candid, and Gideon felt a moment of “world’s best photographer” rise in him.

“What is a coach? Is it kind of like a commander?”

“Not exactly. A coach is someone who trains you specifically for sports.”

“And you’re around yours a lot?”

“I live with him.”

“Why not with your family?”

Gideon shrugged, “Don't have one. It’s just me and Sarge, right, boy?” He petted the fur at Sergeant’s neck aggressively like Gideon knew he liked, and the dog woofed.

Meeko knew better than to press. He knew most families weren’t happy like his, even if it always seemed like someone was missing…

“It’s so weird to not see any other people.” Gideon murmured. “On my planet, we would have seen a ton.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Nothing is as sparse as this anymore, I think.”

“The planet I come from is entirely industrial.” Meeko said. “No green anywhere. Yet somehow, we have oxygen.”

“Sounds… not fun.” 

Meeko shrugged.

They continued walking, chatting about everything before finally rounding back to the Corvus, where an angry Hask was waiting for them.

“Where were you! You can’t just go running off like that!” 

“We told Elias we were going-“

“Elias has too much on his plate to care about that!” Hask gestured wildly with his hands, and Meeko saw Gideon definitely cringe away. A small detail, but noticeable especially as Sergeant growled a bit. 

“You’re lucky we thought to wait for you to see if you were just out and about.” Hask finally said before walking back inside the ship.

Meeko walked up behind to where Gideon had frozen and reached out to touch his shoulder gently. “You okay?”

Gideon flinched away, hard, and then Sergeant was pushing himself into Meeko’s legs, telling him to back off.

He wasn’t going to hit him. Meeko knew that.

But maybe Gideon didn’t.

It was easy enough to link that back to what Gideon had been saying about his dad. 

So it was that kind of abuse. 

Instead of trying to interfere anymore, Meeko backed against one of the walls, sitting down on a crate of some description. 

He would be here when Gideon was ready.

Ten minutes later or so, Gideon unfroze, and his hands began to comb through Sergeant’s fur.

“Gideon?” Meeko whispered, “are you okay?”

Gideon didn’t say anything.

Meeko pursed his lips. He has no experience dealing with this kind of a medical situation.

And he hated not knowing what to do.

Do I wait on him some more? Or-?

Meeko watched as Gideon suddenly took a deep breath and turned to him. 

“Gideon?”

“Yes?” His voice was softer, more unsure.

Meeko gently reached down, and put one of his hands over Gideon’s, keeping eye contact with him so Gideon could see what he was doing.

“No one is going to hurt you.” Meeko whispered. “Not here. I promise.”

Gideon slowly leaned into Meeko’s shoulder. Meeko waited a few moments, then wrapped his arms around Gideon’s back.

“ You’re safe .”

______________________

“Don’t get me wrong, I like them a lot. But are they still supposed to be here?”

Gid was referring to their multiverse counterparts as he laid awake with Elias, the sleeping forms of the twins between them. Ilya had bandaged Eliot’s left hand and foot and instructed him not to walk on it yet. Then, as a kind of act of pity, gave Whil identical bandages too.

“I don’t know how they will leave. Maybe they aren’t supposed to.”

Gid wasn’t impressed by his husband’s answer. “We both know that isn’t true.”

“But I wish it was.” Elias complained. “It seems like we’d have to undo what I did in the first place, which was to wish for Del to be out of pain- and that erased him. So, what am I supposed to do if he’s not coming back?”

Eliot stirred, making Gid contemplate his answer a bit.

“Maybe this has to do with your treatment of the others.” He shrugged. 

“I’m treating them fine,” Elias sighed, and laid down flat on his back, linking hands with Gid over their children’s backs. 

“I didn’t say you weren’t. You’ve always been a kind man, Elias.”

The older man hummed appreciatively.

“Get some sleep, while we can.” Gid added, and dimmed the lights.

______________________

Ilya mumbled to himself as he undressed, reflecting about the last forty-eight hours or so since he’d slept, always busy taking care of the boy. He probably needed to eat something, too, but first and foremost wanted, above all, a shower.

Off came his shoes and socks and pants. When he tugged off his shirt and started peeling at the tape on his chest, someone cleared their throat behind him.

Ilya jumped, instinctively ducking down a bit. 

“I just wanted to know how the kid was doing.” Hask refused to admit he had grown kind of attached to the two boys. 

“He’s fine.” Ilya said quickly. 

But Hask wasn’t good at reading the room at all. “What’s this?” He asked, pointing at Ilya’s chest.

“It’s my heart monitor,” Ilya decided to indulge him with the answer. “Connected to the pacemaker and stent inside my chest. If something’s wrong, I’ll know about it.” 

“How long have you had that?” Hask couldn’t imagine that long.

“Since I was a boy.” 

“And it works?”

“Yes. At least, back on Earth it does. I can track it with my phone but that is no longer an option here.”

Hask’s brows furrowed as he watched Ilya continue removing the tape. 

“If you’ve always had it, then you’ve always been sick?”

“Yes.” Ilya said. “Doctors say I won’t live past fifty. But that’s okay. My dream is true already, I’m a doctor. A husband would be nice, but dating isn’t really my thing.”

“That’s okay, if you’re happy with where you are in life.” Hask sighed, and Ilya didn’t actually care that he was making himself at home. He did feel a bit… exposed, though.

“There’s so much I should have done.” Hask continued. “So it’s good you think you have your life planned out. Though I hope you don’t have an emergency anytime soon.”

“Shouldn’t. I’m only thirty-four.” 

There was an awkward silence between the two of them. Hask was deep in reflection. Ilya shuffled his feet.

“I guess I should uh, let you take your shower.” He finally said, standing up.

“Hask?” Ilya called before he could stop himself.

The older man turned. “Yes?” 

“Eat with me in about twenty minutes?”

“Sure.” Hask agreed, and smiled, mostly to himself, as Ilya hummed and looked away.

______________________

“It looks like you might have worse damage than we thought. I need to get in there and redirect some vessels and see the damage to the nerves and muscle up close.” Elias told his husband, frowning.

“So, more surgery?” Gid asked.

“Yeah. But don’t worry, I have my two best helpers here.” Elias was referring to Ilya and Meeko, of course, but Whil and Eliot chose that moment to pop up and grin.

“Hey!” Hask was ready to pull them away, and probably would have if he didn’t already have a very upset Chaol on his hip.

“Come on boys, let’s go outside…” he dragged them away and Sergeant followed. 

“You’ll do it now?” Gid asked.

“Sooner the better.” Elias said, combing through Gid’s long hair tenderly. 

Chapter Text

How do those boys disappear so quickly? Children’s laughter sounded from above him, and Hask sighed deeply. We really need to secure the air vents better. “Sarge, stay here and keep an eye out for them.” The dog’s big dark eyes stared up at him blankly, not understanding the command. “What did he say the word was? Restez. ” Sarge planted his fluffy behind to the ground and fixed his gaze to the vent. “Good dog. Now to check on the other little one.” 

By the time he reached the nursery, Iden and Briya had gone, leaving Chaol sticking his tiny arm through the bars of his crib, trying to touch the lothwolf that was so determined to be around the child. “No, Chaol. Leave it alone.” He stepped between them, picking up Chaol and attempting to shoo the wolf away with his foot, to which the animal responded with a mildly irritated glare. That beast is far too intelligent for my liking… Chaol waved his little hands, crying in protest. “Do you… Do you actually want to play with it?” Against his better judgment ( anything to stop him from wailing and bursting my eardrums) Hask knelt to the ground, letting the lothwolf come up and nuzzle Chaol, who squealed in delight.

"Careful there…wolfie. Any aggressive motion and I'm sending a blaster shot through your skull." The wolf simply curled up beside him, resting his head on Hask's leg so Chaol could pat his snout. They sat there together in peace, the only movement was a subtle flick of the wolf’s tail every once in a while. Maybe I’m going soft from being away from my universe too long. I don’t deserve to have nice moments like this. Securing his hold on the baby, he stood up as the wolf pulled his head away and vanished down the hall.

Deep barks preceded the arrival of Sarge, lightly tugging Whil along by his shirt collar and checking to make sure Eliot was still in his position riding on his back. He blinked up at Hask. I found them! “Good boy. You’re dismissed, you can go find that lothwolf if you wish.” Waiting just long enough for Hask to set Chaol in his crib so he could carry Eliot, Sarge bounded out the door. Hask turned his attention back to the boys, one on the floor in front of him and the other on his hip. “Now then, what have you little imps been up to? You’re both aware that you-” He looked sternly at Eliot. “-are not supposed to be out of the medbay yet, let alone gallivanting off on an adventure in the vents. Do your fathers know you’re running around getting into trouble already?”

Whil didn’t reply, being smart enough to not confess, and only gave a devilish grin. A slight trace of icing lined his mouth, revealing exactly where Sarge had found them. “You were sneaking sweets from the kitchen again!” Knowing he’d been busted, Whil frantically glanced at Eliot staying firmly in Hask’s grasp, and turned to flee. “Get back here, young man! I’m not finished with you!” 

I haven't run like this in years. Why are small children so fast?! They have tiny legs! Hask nearly slammed into the wall as he skidded around the corner. "Whil! You stop running this instant!" The young boy obviously did not comply and continued his escape attempt back to the kitchen. Hask heard the familiar noise of the doors sliding open and spotted Whil pressed up against the counter, clearly cornered with the expression of a deer in headlights. "There you are. You can't escape the consequences of your actions, child."

Isolde looked up from decorating the fresh batch of cookies. "Oh, leave him alone, he's only four." Whil immediately dashed to her side, grateful for his new defense attorney. "And to be fair, he only ate one, he was taking the other back to Eliot. I don't think he knew he was following him, did you?" Shaking his head as hard as he could and declaring his innocence, he turned his puppy eyes back to Isolde. "This is your last one, alright? We've got dinner soon and I don't want to ruin your appetite." She took two undecorated cookies and handed one to Whil, who stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. 

She crossed the room and gave the other cookie to Eliot. "Honestly, Hask. Didn’t you ever get into anything you shouldn't have as a child? They're just having fun."

Hask thought back to the many times he’d gotten in trouble as a child, although for far more serious actions than swiping treats from someone so willing to let it slide. “They have to learn to grow up at some point, Isolde.” 

“But not today. Let them enjoy being kids while they still can. You and I both know that's getting harder to do every day what with the First Order and all.” 

He looked at the giggling child on his hip and pondered her words. He could see the light and innocence in his eyes, not yet jaded and bitter about the state of the galaxy, only wondering about his next naptime or what game he wanted to play. “Come on, boys. Let’s go see if Sarge wants to play fetch.”

______________________

“Meeko, adjust that light a bit.” Ilya said, and the younger man obliged, adjusting the light so he could see better.

Elias glanced nervously, like he always did, at the patient’s sleeping face. 

Gid’s just sleeping, it’s okay. The boys are being looked over, Isolde is cooking with Hanan, and Tylo is with his boyfriend. Everything is fine.

“Here’s the dead muscle.” Ilya said, like a proud man showing off a jewel. “Look at this, Elias.”

No wonder he was in pain.  

Ilya continued cutting away, his hands sure and steady like always-

Wait.

“Time out.” Ilya said, stepping away and raising his hands, putting the instruments back on the table. 

“You good?” Elias asked, just as Ilya’s hands started to tremble.

“I- don’t know what’s happening.” Ilya frowned, eyes wide in disbelief at the sight.

“Do we need to stop?” Meeko asked.

“No, I’ve got it.” Elias stepped in, calmly.

I don’t want Gideon to be in any more pain.

Ilya stepped out of the room, muttering to himself as Elias and Meeko finished up the surgery. 

“Go check on him.” Elias told Meeko afterwards. “I’ll wait for him to wake up.”

Meeko nodded, but Ilya was gone when he went after him. 

“Gideon?” He asked, seeing the other man. “Did you see Ilya?”

“I think he went to Hask’s room.”

“Oh, okay.” Meeko looked down, awkwardly. 

“Is Gid going to be okay?”

“Yeah, Elias is just waiting for him to wake up, now. Where’s Sergeant?”

“You know, with the boys. I was about to go chase after him.” 

“I’ll meet you outside, then.” 

Gideon smiled to himself as he watched Meeko jog away.

I think I’m in love again.

Sarge was paying less attention to the boys and more attention to one very confused Lothwolf. 

“Weird, isn’t it?” Hask echoed his thoughts as they watched the two canines. 

“Yeah, almost like the lothwolf is sick or something…” Gideon furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I can’t keep the kids away from him.” 

“Sarge is really good with kids.” Gideon said proudly.

“Not Sarge, the lothwolf! Iden’s kids are all over him.” 

Chaol squealed at that moment, reaching for where Sergeant and the lothwolf were tussling. The lothwolf stopped struggling, his ears perking up in interest even as Sarge cuffed him in the nose.

“Meeko told me Ilya was headed to your room. Have you two been talking?”

“A little bit.” Hask shrugged. “Not as much as what you and Meeko have been doing.”

“Guilty as charged.” Gideon smiled sheepishly.

“Just… be careful.” Hask said, leaning down to place Chaol on his belly so he could try to reach for the Lothwolf. The baby was gradually learning to scoot, and when the lothwolf noticed Chaol coming towards him, he rolled back up onto all fours and left Sergeant on his own, walking over to nuzzle Chaol’s face.

Seizing the opportunity to run outside, Whil dashed to the door. Eliot limped behind him, still unused to the bandages underneath his shoe. 

Hanan watched as the boys descended the ramp, followed closely by Hask and Sergeant. Lightly jogging to catch up, they plopped down beside Hask, who was keeping an eye on the little ones from a respectful distance. “Are you gonna start acting all strange too, like Ilya?”

“That’s generally not how one starts a conversation,” Hask faltered. Is this what teenagers are usually like? I finally get used to the children and then this one is…different. “I don’t know. He came through first, perhaps that has something to do with it. I expect this universe will start to affect all of us at some point, that the longer we stay the worse it’ll become.” 

Hanan grabbed a handful of sand, letting it fall through their fingers. “How long do you think you’ve got then?” He smoothed out the tiny pile of sand before repeating the process. 

I’ve been asking myself that question for too long. “If everything continues to progress at the same rate, then I believe two, maybe three weeks at most. There’s no need for you to worry over it, young lady, we’ll handle it.”

“Don’t call me that,” Hanan snapped. He crossed his arms and shot a glare at Hask. “I’m not a girl.” 

Hask stammered, partially from embarrassment and partially from shock that someone hardly a quarter of his age corrected him with such aggression. “My apologies. I simply assumed because your voice-”

“Is perfectly normal for someone like me, and it’s exactly how I like to sound. If I wanted to change it, I would.” They stood up and spun around to go back inside. “My pronouns are he/him and they/them. I won’t respond to anything else.” Hanan shoved his hands in his pockets, hoping Hask wouldn’t see how badly they trembled. 

“What do you mean, “they?” Hask asked, stopping Hanan as he reached the top of the ramp. “How can you be “they?”

“Because I’m not a girl, and I feel like a boy most of the time. It’s what I’m comfortable as.”

“A boy?”

“No!” Hanan wasn’t angry, mostly just flustered. “Neither! Both.”

“Both?”

“Yes. Both.”

Hask contemplated this. “I don’t understand, but I am sorry for offending you.”

“It’s alright.” Hanan shrugged. “Thanks for being so open to it, I guess.”

“I know you’re worried. But I think everything is going to work out, what is it they say…” Hask felt stupid for saying it. “As the Force wills it.” 

“Right. The Force.” Hanan echoed, still anxious. They wanted to talk to their brother. “Well. I should probably go help mom with dinner, now.” 

They turned and walked away before Hask could say anything else.

Chapter Text

“What’s wrong?” Gideon asked, propping himself over Meeko, whose curls were wild after Gideon had combed through them so many times.

“I’m scared.” Meeko murmured, as Gideon kissed his shoulder and neck, sliding a hand under his back. “Did you hear what happened to Ilya?”

“Don’t think about Ilya.” Gideon protested. “Think about me. ”

“Of course I want to do that. It’s rather hard not to, given what we’ve been up to for the past hour.”

“You’re being generous if you think you lasted an hour.” Gideon smirked, especially as Meeko’s face lit up bright red. 

“Gideon!”

“I’m sorry!” Gideon still laughed, running a hand through Meeko’s curls and down his cheek one last time before rolling off of him.

“I’m worried, too.” He said, honestly. 

“What? Why?”

“Because I might lose you.”

“You will, Gideon.” Meeko felt the soreness as he sat up and looked at him. “But it’ll be okay. You’ll go back to your universe, and find a nice man of your own. Not some side piece like me.”

“Don’t say that. You are a nice man, Meeko.” Gideon cut him off before he could deny it. “Do you know how much it hurts to hear you talk about yourself that way? That’s how I felt about myself for a long time…until I met you.” When Meeko didn’t meet his eyes, Gideon gently lifted his chin to make him match his gaze. “I know we probably don’t have long together, but that’s why I want to make this last. I want to remember every detail about you when I go back. And maybe, if the universe decides I’ve done enough good in my life, it’ll lead me back to you.” 

Aware that he didn’t have a response, Meeko simply leaned forward and kissed him softly, the only kiss they’d shared outside of, well, sex. 

Knowing this, Gideon pulled him in deeper, until they separated, each smiling widely.

Before they could go further, someone pounded on the bedroom door. Elias yelled on the other side, “Get dressed you two. Emergency meeting in the common area.” A note of barely-hidden anxiety rose in his voice, alarming them enough to get out of bed. They threw their clothes on, not bothering to fix their messy hair, and almost ran down the hall to where the others sat in varying stages of panic. Gid paced back and forth, finally stopping when he saw Meeko and Gideon. “We can’t find Ilya.”

“What?” 

Gid handed them a small object, explaining, “Sarge found this in his room and brought it to me. At first I wasn’t sure what it was until I noticed it was reading his vitals. He wouldn’t leave it lying around, so I checked the ship to give it back. He’s not anywhere on the Corvus , and the logs say the door didn’t open.”

Meeko turned the monitor over in his hand, studying it. “This is reading vitals, you said?”

“Yes, why?” 

“Then I have worse news,” he stated. “It’s flatlining.” Hask snatched it from his hand, checking for himself. Sure enough, the line showing the heart rate was still as ever. He nodded to confirm Meeko’s observation. 

Elias sank onto the couch, head in his hands. “This is all my fault. I brought him here and now he’s gone.” Gid took the seat beside him, letting Elias lean into him.

“Let’s not panic just yet.” Hask was a master of taking control of stressful situations, perhaps the only useful thing about being an Imperial officer. “It’s flatlining because he’s out of range. There’s still a decent chance he’s fine, and he just didn’t realize it slipped off.” Elias looked up with tear-filled eyes. “I know it doesn’t answer the question of where he is, but it’s something. Stressing over the problem isn’t helping solve it.” 

Hask remembered the conversation with Hanan. “This universe will start to affect all of us.” Is it possible that the worlds are beginning to correct themselves? “Elias, I think I know what happened, but you may not like the answer.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Giving an almost empathetic glance to the couple beside him, he continued, “He went home. The Force must have decided he served his purpose here and sent him back.” 

“But what purpose was that?” Elias said, almost in a whine.

“That’s for you to decide.”

Everyone turned to Hask. They really weren’t used to this unusual, thoughtful side of him.

“Ilya meant something different for all of us.” He reached down to Whil and Eliot’s shoulders since they stood in front of him. “To Whil and Eliot, he was a savior. To me, he was a friend who encouraged me to think more.”

“He was a role model.” Meeko piped up. “One day, I will be a real doctor and save as many lives as he has.”

“At the very least he’s inspiring,”Gideon added. “So calm under pressure.”

“Polite, caring.” Isolde listed off.

“No judgment.” Tylo said, and Hanan nodded in agreement.

“I mean, he saved my life, too.” Gid pointed out.

Elias paused.

What was Ilya to me?

He thought about the man for a few minutes. His demeanor. His attitude. His… personality.

No one judged him for his needs, or his stimming, or anything.

And suddenly, Elias knew. 

“Ilya taught me that it’s okay to be myself. I don’t have to hide my needs as much as I trained myself to. It’s okay if I need time to myself, or to do things a certain way…”

Elias took a breath, and Gid rubbed his back reassuringly, smiling. Even Hask had a faint smile on his lips.

“I wonder where he is now…”

______________________

Ilya lurched awake, sitting up straight in bed and almost knocking heads with someone.

“Elias!” Sam gasped, jumping away. “You made me so worried! Your heart monitor was flatlining!”

“It was?” Ilya asked, and for a moment, he wondered who Sam was referring to.

Wait.

Sam.

This means….

“Ya doma.” He said, mostly to himself, as his cat jumped into his lap and walked across it. Sam, his boyfriend, reached out and scratched her behind the ears.

“What?”

If Sam is okay, then I must not have actually left. How odd.

He subconsciously felt his wrist, and found his watch missing.

Oh.

Makes sense.

It must have fallen off during my travels.

So, I wasn’t asleep after all?

“I think my watch must have fallen off while I was sleeping.” Ilya shrugged sheepishly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart.”

“Are you ready to work today?” Sam asked, holding his hand.

“I…Think so.”

Ilya hadn’t felt so at peace since his patient, Cooper, had died. His death hadn’t been the first, but it was Ilya’s biggest failure. Having to look his mother and twin brother in the eye-

“I’ll be alright. Will you pick me up tomorrow so we can go out like we planned?”

“Of course. I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Sam leaned over to give him a quick kiss, and frowned.

“You need to shave.”

Immediately, Ilya’s hand flew to his chin, and found an offensively rough patch of hair on his chin.

The only indication that I’ve been away. Can’t ever stop those Russian genes.

Ilya showered, and shaved of course, and then ate the meal Sam had prepared before boarding the city bus and heading to the hospital.

“Ready for the day?” Asked his best friend, Vali.

Ilya pulled on the white lab coat which was still right in its place on the hanger. In the mirror, he saw his name tag staring back at him, and touched it lightly.

Ilya V. Maleek, M.D

Pediatric Surgery

“Let’s save some lives.”

Chapter Text

From back in the playroom, the sound of Eliot crying alerted everyone that their peaceful moment was over. Already halfway down the hall, Meeko reached the room first and spotted the problem immediately. Eliot’s bandage on his foot had come off, revealing a sticky mess of blood from broken stitches. Meeko carefully picked him up, motioning that Whil could come too, and carried him back to the medbay. Gid and Elias caught up to him on the way, so Meeko filled them in on what happened. “He was running around again, and he must have popped a few stitches.”

“Will he be alright?” 

Elias answered, “Yes, he didn’t lose that much blood. We can fix the sutures and keep him in bed for a while, he’ll be fine.” He paused for a moment before adding, “The hard part will be keeping Whil away from him long enough to get it done.” 

“Gideon and I can take him on a day trip, maybe see the city,” Meeko suggested. “You can handle a few stitches on your own.” He handed a still-sobbing Eliot back to his father. Kneeling down so he was eye level with Whil, he lightly ruffled his hair and said, “Doesn’t that sound like fun, bud? We can go see all kinds of cool things, and maybe get a couple of things to bring back for your siblings.” In a stage whisper he continued, “And maybe while we’re out we can get some treats, how about that?”

The promise of more sugar tempted the child enough to agree. As Meeko stood up and headed towards the front of the ship, Whil grabbed tightly to his hand, making sure to keep up with him. “Hey, Gideon, wanna see your first non-homeworld city? I promised the kid I’d show him around for a while until Elias could finish fixing his brother’s foot.” 

“This planet has cities?” Gideon perked up, excited at the idea of seeing such an array of vastly different cultures. “I thought this was just a desert. Wait, what if they speak a different language? I won’t understand anything.”

“Most species speak Basic, or at least will know what you mean,” Hask spoke from his place seated on the couch. “I’m coming too. Not that I don’t trust you two with a child, but I’d rather not injure this one when his father is working on the other.”

“Besides,” Meeko stated, “we’ll handle most of the talking, since you probably don’t even know how much a credit is worth. Are you all ready to head out?” An assortment of nods answered him, and the group descended the exit ramp and made their way into town.

“Stay close to Hask, Whil!” Isolde called after them. “No running off!”

“What’s first?” Meeko asked, as Hask adjusted Whil on his shoulders.

“Snacks?” Gideon grinned at the boy, who nodded eagerly.  

“We shouldn’t give him too much sugar this early in the day…” Meeko chided, but then went quiet when Gideon took his hand, effectively flustering him. 

“I’ll give him anything to keep him out of trouble.” Hask headed for the nearest vendor while they followed.

“I’m not the biggest fan of sugar.” Gideon murmured. 

“We’ll find something else, then.” Meeko said, his hand completely encapsulated in Gideon’s large palm as he led him elsewhere.

“This is like, a whole date.” Gideon said, head on a swivel as they walked around town. 

“Nice, right.” Meeko hadn’t been around such normalcy in a long time, spending so much time in the barracks.

Meeko kept leading him along, until his green eyes settled on something. “Gideon, here!”

“A crafts vendor?”

“Trust me!” Meeko pulled him over.

Gideon humored him as he held up several colors, trying to decide which fit him the most. 

“What are you doing now?” Gideon asked as Meeko paid. 

“You’ll see.” 

They kept walking, forgetting about their original mission pretty quickly, especially when something caught Gideon’s eye this time.

“Look, Meeko.” 

“Oh.” Meeko flushed at what Gideon had found: a rainbow ring. 

“I don’t… get to wear a lot of jewelry.”

“Well, you should. It fits you.” Gideon smiled as he slid it onto Meeko’s finger.

“But, why rainbow?” Meeko was still looking at it.

“In my universe, rainbow is a sign of pride, you could say.”

“Pride for what?”

“For being you.” Gideon said, paying with the credits Gid had snuck him with a smile. “And a way to always remember each other, right?”

“You’re treating this like it’s a wedding ring.”

Gideon just shrugged, sheepishly. 

“We should probably find Hask and Whil again.”

“Or…” Meeko gave him a sly look.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay for a few more hours.” Gideon quickly amended.

______________________

Hask was not okay.

Whil had slipped off his shoulders at some point, leaving him to run around with sweet bread in his hand like a lost tourist (which, in a way he was).

I’m going to put a tracker on that child, I swear- Hask thought as he jogged along the street, looking above for Whil on the rooftops.

“Sorry!” He said, bumping into someone.

“Wilhelm!” He shouted. “Stop!”

At first chance, he climbed a ladder onto the rooftops to continue his chase.

Whil looked back and laughed, speeding up.

This is ridiculous, Hask thought as he felt pain in his legs. I’m not this old.

“Wilhelm!” Hask repeated, as the boy leapt for another rooftop, but misjudged the distance.

“Got you!” Hask pulled him back up by the jacket. 

“You have got to be more careful!” He yelled, but Whil just cackled as he dangled from Hask’s arm. 

He also didn’t notice Hask slip the tracker into a pocket.

“Hask!” Gideon waved at him from the street below. 

“Are you hungry, child?” Hask asked, tightening his grip on his hand.

“What am I kidding? You’re always hungry. Stay up here, this time.” He put him back on his shoulders and climbed back down.

“Where did you two get off to? I could have used your help chasing after this one.”

“We were…busy.”

Hask eyed them up and down once they sat down at a restaurant. Nothing seemed that different, but-

Oh.

He saw the ring on Meeko’s finger.

I see .

“Aren’t you two a little young to be engaged?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Engaged?!” Meeko exclaimed. “No- we’re not- it’s just a promise.”

“That’s the same thing.” Hask frowned, and tried to focus on his food.

______________________

After Whil left the medbay, Eliot’s squirming lessened enough that Elias could cut away the rest of the bloodied bandage. He allowed Isolde to put the anesthetic mask over his face, still holding her hand as he drifted off to sleep. Elias quickly cleaned the wound and began to stitch it closed when his comm notified him of an incoming message. 

“Hey Elias, my asthma is acting up again, can you-?” Tylo’s question was interrupted by a sudden fit of wheezing. The comm crackled with static as it tried to handle the sounds of Hanan and Tay yelling in alarm paired with violent coughing. 

“I’ll be there in a minute, Tylo,” Elias answered, still focused on Eliot. “I’m almost done here.” One final stitch and Isolde took over, wrapping his foot with fresh bandages. Elias removed his gloves and grabbed Tylo’s inhaler. He headed down the hall to Tylo’s room after messaging that he was on his way. 

Tylo was lying on his side, supported by Hanan. Tay looked up as Elias entered the room, quickly reporting the details in a frantic tone. A small amount of scarlet blood dripped from the corners of Tylo’s mouth. Elias carefully picked him up, carrying him back to the medbay for an x-ray. He was light, far too light for his age. This can’t be good. Did we miss something during his last check-up? His mind raced with a thousand possibilities of potentially deadly diseases that Tylo could have. This isn’t asthma. This is something much worse…

Isolde looked up when she saw him enter. When she saw her firstborn in Elias’s arms, she dropped the datapad in her hands and rushed to meet him.

“Tylo?” She demanded, listening to his attempts to breathe. “Elias, what is it? What happened?”

“We were just watching a holo when he started shivering, like he was cold.” Tay reported. “So we got him a blanket, and Hanan noted that he felt a bit warm. Then, he started coughing-”

“Sounds like it might be pneumonia or meningitis.” Elias said. “Isolde, take their temperatures.”

She nodded, even though all she wanted to do was help her son. But she knew that Elias was the more seasoned medic.

One of the droids did the scan, the x-ray showing up on one of the screens along with Tylo’s other vitals. 

“I don’t understand…” He murmured. The x-ray was clean, but Tylo was feverish. “Make it a full body scan.” He ordered, and the droid obeyed.

“Was there anything in the room that might have caused his asthma to act up? I think we’re looking at two separate events here.”

“Um… no…”

“The candle?” Hanan asked. 

“He always has a candle in there.” Tay retorted.

“Oh, I’ve got it! All the fur that Sarge and that lothwolf have been shedding. That can trigger it, right?” 

Isolde was right. 

Why didn’t I think of that? But still, it doesn’t explain the fever and the chills…

A few weeks ago, before Del died, Tylo was complaining about his legs hurting more than usual. I brushed it off as growing pains, but-

Elias’s eyes widened when he saw the advanced scans.

But before he could investigate further, there was a crash from the other part of the medbay. Gid’s voice rang out, frantic.

“What’s wrong with him?” 

Elias knew he wouldn’t be able to say the words so he simply motioned to the scans. Dark foggy spots, hardly noticeable but wildly life-changing, showed in Tylo’s knees. 

“What are we looking for, exactly?” Isolde’s lack of a full medical education shone through with her confusion. She looked over the scans, missing the dark spots. “The scans seem clear to me.” A small noise in the other room signaled Eliot was starting to wake up, so Isolde went to him.

Elias tapped his comm and said, “Hask, is it possible for you to keep Whil busy a little while longer? Stay overnight if you have to, don’t worry about the credits. Just keep him off the Corvus until we say otherwise.” 

“Is everything alright? Do I need to send Meeko?” 

Elias glanced over at Isolde, who was checking on a still drowsy Eliot, and replied, “No. Let him stay with Gideon. We’ll handle it.” The comm beeped as the connection ended, leaving him with his thoughts and a very concerned husband. How do I tell you? How am I meant to explain that your firstborn son is dying? “Gid…”

He instantly picked up on the hesitation, causing him to fret more. “Elias. What’s wrong with Tylo?” he repeated. 

During all of this, no one had actually paid any attention to Tylo. His head lulled to Hanan’s shoulder, and Tay was holding his hand.

“What’s wrong, Elias?” Hanan asked, tears threatening to fall. 

“He…” Elias stumbled over the words, Adam’s apple bobbing.

“I’m dying.” Tylo whispered, and everyone turned to him in shock.

“You’re not-“ Tay tried to start.

“The Force.” Tylo croaked. “I may not have it like you do, but I have learned that it sometimes grants dreams to us mere mortals.” 

Elias and Gid exchanged a look, while Isolde tried and failed to stay strong, burying her head into a very confused Eliot’s shoulder.

“Those dreams, what do they look like, Tylo?”

“Why would you ask him that!” Gid hissed.

“It’s okay.” Tylo gave a bitter little shrug. “Everyone just seems so… sad. I don’t like to think about that. Just try to keep smiling for me. Please.”

How are we supposed to smile with this news?! Gid wanted to scream. 

“Just try, dad.” Tylo gave a little smile of his own, and then turned to Elias. “How long do I have?”

Elias shrugged. “I won’t know without further testing.”

Tylo nodded, and then laid back. “Can I just talk to my parents for a bit?”

Elias, Hanan, and Tay all nodded, and left the room. The only non-parent still in Tylo’s room was Eliot, but he hardly counted.

“There’s painkillers in the top drawer if he needs them.” Elias murmured to Isolde as she left the room, and she nodded even if she already knew that.

Hanan and Tay wandered back towards Hanan’s room, counting on the fact that they’d be summoned back if Tylo asked for them. 

Elias, meanwhile, slid down the cold wall and leaned his head back.

What could the Force possibly be trying to teach me this time?! That death is a normal part of life?!

Not for those who don’t deserve it! 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed out there, crying into his hands. Eventually, he heard soft footsteps coming towards him and looked up, only to be eye level with the mysterious lothwolf that had been plaguing the ship.

“What are you doing here, for?” Elias murmured. “Go away!”

The lothwolf tilted its head, showing off its odd green eyes.

“Go!” Elias repeated, kicking at it. 

When the wolf made no move, Elias kicked again. Again. Then suddenly he let out a pained, enraged scream and lunged for the animal, beating his fists into its side and screaming into its fur. 

All the Lothwolf did was slowly wag its tail back and forth. When Elias had let it all out, he felt the cold nose touch the back of his head, almost like the Lothwolf was trying to reassure him.

“Elias? Chaol’s been screaming again and I wonder if he’s-“ Iden stopped in her tracks. Elias was on his side, there on the cold floor, curled up and asleep with that damn Lothwolf.

Chaol instantly stopped crying and giggled, reaching out for the animal.

“Absolutely not.” Iden told him. “I don’t need anyone else perpetuating those silly dreams of your sisters.”

The lothwolf opened one of its eyes to stare into Iden’s.

Is that what you think of me? He seemed to say. 

Chaol kicked Iden’s side.

“ No.” She repeated, and turned on her heel and began walking away. “We’ll just find out what’s happening later, Chaol.”

The wolf’s ears flicked as his hypersensitive ears picked up the baby’s screams as they resumed from down the hall.

Chapter Text

“Overnight?” Gideon asked. 

“I’m okay with that.” Meeko shrugged, watching Whil spill something onto his shirt that would definitely leave a stain.

“Here, kid-” Hask leaned over and tucked a napkin into Whil’s shirt. “We’ll probably find two rooms next to each other.”

Thank the force, Meeko wanted to say. He also wanted to know why they were staying away. But if it gave him more time with Gideon, he didn’t care.

Smiling to himself, he twisted the new ring on his finger and watched Gideon struggle to eat what was in front of him.

“You’ve never had dewback?” Hask asked, then realized what a stupid question that was and muttered to himself.

“Just not that hungry.” Gideon said, pushing the plate over to Whil since the boy was eyeing it.

At least someone eats their vegetables.

To his credit, Gideon had eaten most of them, and also nearly all of the steaks. He avoided the candied fruit like the plague, though.

“Don’t go asking for midnight snacks.” Hask said as he watched Whil demolish even more food into his bottomless stomach.

Only Meeko noticed Gideon tense up. He was getting better at catching everything that made him uncomfortable.

“Do I finally get to know why you bought that?” Gideon asked later when they were in their room together for the night. Meeko had unloaded most of the bags they’d purchased onto a table.

“You’ll see! Be patient.” 

Gideon groaned and fell backwards onto the bed, just narrowly missing where Meeko was sitting. After a few minutes, he slowly eased his head into Meeko’s lap, causing him to look down and smile.

“A hat.” Gideon hypothesized when he saw Meeko bring out a hook.

“Hmm, very good.” Meeko’s right hand briefly combed through Gideon’s hair before going back to stitching. 

They sat in silence for a while, Gideon watched as Meeko’s fingers deftly manipulated the yarn into shape. Occasionally he sat up just enough so he could make sure the hat was the right size before lying back down. 

“Like the color?” 

“Hm?” Gideon had slowly been falling asleep listening to the gentle sounds of Meeko counting stitches and the yarn being woven into place. “Oh, yeah. It’s a nice shade. I didn’t know crocheting was still a thing in this universe.” 

“It’s not the most common hobby around here,” he responded. “But you can find a few crafters in pretty much any system.” Do we have time to explore some before…? How long do we have? What if tonight is our last? ….am I gonna be okay without you?

Meeko’s hands trembled, causing him to drop a stitch. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind, he carefully put the loop back on his hook and set the project aside. He glanced down to the young man asleep on his lap. If this is it, then at least we’re together. 

______________________

I swear there is nothing more difficult in this galaxy than putting a four-year-old to bed when he doesn’t want to. “Whil, get out from under the bed! It’s time for your bath.” Muffled mischievous laughter answered back, plainly stating the child would rather stay where he was. Reaching into the darkness until he could grasp Whil’s legs, Hask dragged him out of his hiding place. Whil squirmed as he tried to break his babysitter’s grip but to no avail. “Now then, you little troublemaker, you’re taking a bath whether you like it or not.”

Maybe I should’ve asked how childcare is supposed to work before we left… I’m sure I can figure it out, how hard can it be? He carried Whil into the bathroom, ensuring he locked the door before he set him down. I am not making that mistake. “Alright. You sit down while I get the water ready. Not too hot, of course,” he said mostly to himself. 

As Whil waited, he was suspiciously quiet, and Hask caught himself constantly checking to see if there were any vents that he could have possibly climbed into.

Each time he was rewarded with Whil’s cheeky “I’m so innocent how could you hate me” smile. 

“I can already tell you’re planning to splash me.” Hask grumbled. “We’ll do this, then.” He folded his jacket and shirt across the room before undressing the boy, too. It turned out his clothes were extremely baggy and it made sense as to why Whil always seemed so light.

“Wouldn’t guess it by how much you eat.” 

He could see the crossed out names of Tylo, Hanan and even Eliot on the tag.

“Probably because your brother’s bigger than you. He’s got those Meeko genes, then?”

“I’m a Meeko!” Whil babbled. 

Hask looked at his blue eyes and blonde hair. “ Sure .” 

Grabbing the boy under the arms, Hask prepared for all the kicking that would no doubt happen, but was surprised when Whil settled into the water without much fuss.

Hmm.

Hask decided to count his blessings that Whil was pacified, for now. 

“I hope you don’t mind the soap, kid.” He said as he squeezed it onto his head.

Or should I have just put it on my hands?

Whil pushed his hand away when Hask tried to rub it in himself, shaking his head violently.

“Alright, kid.” Hask sighed. “You do it, then.”

Whil squealed and awkwardly patted the top of his head, splashing the soap and in no way effectively spreading it, but Hask figured he’d let it go.

“Ready to get out?”

Whil’s response was to slide all the way in and blow bubbles.

“Alright? Just don’t drown yourself.” Hask debated a shower himself, but figured he’d need to be on hand in case Whil did start to drown.

He at least washed his face, keeping an eye on the youngling, who happily hummed to himself and poked at all the bubbles. 

“Okay, kid. Really. It’s cold. Time to get out.” 

He tried to pick him up and Whil screeched, flailing about and getting Hask just as wet as the stupid dog had when they’d rescued him in the first place.

After wrestling him into a towel, Hask sat him back on the bed, watched him shiver until he could gather his change of clothes back.

“Your mother’s gonna be upset that you stained your shirt.” Hask frowned. Though if something’s up back on the Corvus, she might hardly even care.

“Something with your brother, maybe?”

Whil shook his head and kicked his legs, so Hask couldn’t tell if he was disagreeing or just throwing a fit.

“We’ll find out tomorrow. Come on, buddy. Settle down.”

Whil’s response was to start jumping on the bed. 

“Did they put extra sugar in your food?” Hask groaned. “Come here, we’ll watch a holovid to calm you down. Or maybe your uncles can take care of you for a bit so I can shower.” Hask picked him up in a strong grip, and walked to the next door. 

He was going to knock, but then the sound of… well…

“Nevermind, kid.” Hask turned on his heel and marched them back to their room. “Holovid it is.”

It wasn’t even five minutes before Hask was annoyed out of his mind at the sound. But at least Whil was occupied.

“Alright kid, just come sit here…” he led Whil to the bathroom and sat him down on the closed toilet. 

Finally, a shower.

That stupid theme song is worth it.

For ten minutes, Hask was finally able to relax.

______________________

“Did you hear something?” Gideon asked, sitting up on his arms.

“N-no.” Meeko stammered. I hope not. Please don’t have heard me-

“Hey…” Gideon smiled softly, and ran his hand down the side of his cheek.

“I kinda preferred it when you were just… asleep in my lap.” Meeko admitted.

“Yeah?” Gideon meant it genuinely. “I kind of liked it when you played with my hair.”

Without saying anything, the two of them straightened their clothes and Gideon laid his head back into Meeko’s lap. 

“I don’t mean to objectify you, I just get…touchy. Carried away.”

“It’s okay.” Meeko combed through his hair again, and Gideon hummed playfully. 

“I’ve been told my love language is touch.”

“Absolutely.” Meeko said immediately. “But don’t worry, it’s cute.”

Gideon giggled, “You called me cute.”

Meeko, of course, flushed.

______________________

Elias sat up quickly when Gid came out of the medbay. 

“How is he?” He asked, as if he weren’t the medic.

“He’s resting, for now.” His husband reported, sinking down beside Elias. “Isolde gave him something for the pain, and also the medicine usually used for bloodburn.”

“That should at least keep him comfortable.” Elias mused, and leaned his head against Gid’s shoulder.

“ I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Gid comforted him. “You didn’t know.”

Elias tilted his head to look at him. “That’s the problem, Gid. I did . But I didn’t listen to him when he complained at first.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Probably not.”

  “Then you’ve done all you can. Sometimes…” He hesitated but continued on, “There are things that are out of our control. No matter how hard we try, we can’t stop bad things from happening any more than we can change the weather. It’s just-”

“Don’t say it’s part of life. Tylo doesn’t deserve to die like this. He’s still young, he’s got so much left to do.” Don’t make me lose another one. I can’t do this again. “I can still save him. I have to.” His voice briefly wavered into the same dangerous tone as when he set off for the Lothal temple. But this time, he wasn’t alone. Gid’s arms wrapped around him tightly, grounding him and keeping him from spiraling down into the darkness again. 

“We can figure out our options together. Just don’t shut me out this time,” he said softly. “Let me be here to help. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.” The mixture of his gentle touch and his words worked like a spell, taking some of the pressure off of Elias. “Let us help,” he repeated. 

“Okay.” 

“So what’s the first thing to do?” Gid sat up, still keeping his hands on Elias’s arms. 

“It hasn’t spread yet, so that means there are a few things we can do. Let’s get everyone together to discuss it.” They both rose and walked back to the room where Tylo was lying, already in a conversation with Isolde. As they noticed Gid and Elias, they paused and turned their attention towards them. Elias cleared his throat before speaking, “We have some options for treatment, none of them are perfect but we’ll do what we can. The first is amputation. Since it hasn’t started to spread, we could-”

“No.” Tylo snapped. 

“No?” Gid repeated. “Tylo, buddy-”

“Don’t “buddy” me!” Tylo nearly shouted, and immediately held his head. He was in pain, this wasn’t Gid’s usual respectful yet sassy son.

“I’d rather die than lose my legs.”

“-There is also a treatment that’s been known to work in some cases. Radiation, and-”

“That didn’t work when Iden’s mom did it.” Gid frowned, crossing his arms.

“Iden’s mother had a much more aggressive form.” Elias said calmly. 

“Are there other options?” Tylo asked quietly.

“You could live out the rest of however long you might have on painkillers.”

Isolde and Gid had a silent conversation with their eyes. 

He’s nearly an adult. Let him decide. Isolde said.

I want him to live. He doesn’t know what he’s doing if he does nothing. Gid shot back. It would be selfish of him to do nothing.

I think it’s selfish of you to think you know what he wants.

“Tylo…” Isolde began, and he leaned into her shoulder. “Whatever you decide, we’ll support you.”

“I’ve heard terrible things about the treatment. Is there a way to lessen the symptoms?”

Elias didn’t have a direct answer for that. “I can try.”

“Then let’s do that.” Tylo took a deep breath, shoulders shaking.

“I should mention something, though.” Elias looked nervously at everyone in the room. “The treatment has been known to affect fertility.”

Tylo scoffed. “I’m gay.”

“Just something I’m obligated to tell you.”

“I don’t care much for that right now.” Tylo was definitely blushing a bit. “Now, can I sleep some more? This medicine stuff seems to be working.”

“Of course.” Elias nodded.

“Do you want me to carry you back to your room?” Gid asked.

“Actually, I’ll go to mom’s, if that’s okay.”

Gid felt his heart sink a bit. What did I do? He felt that defensive anger rising from within him.

Elias’s hand went to his shoulder and he just barely shook his head. 

“Of course, Tylo.” Gid whispered, and he, too, kissed his son’s forehead before sliding his arms underneath his legs and shoulder.

At the very least, at least Tylo still snuggled into him.

______________________

After successfully badgering their mother to go find out what was happening with Tylo, Alina and Briya settled down in the nursery, watching Chaol scoot around on the floor. They kept moving their little brother’s toys slightly out of reach to help him learn to maneuver himself better. A light tapping sound of paws on metal let them know the lothwolf was on his way to investigate why Chaol was squealing.

Chaol looked up first and smiled. Hi, Dada! I can move on my own now! See? He pulled himself across the floor towards the wolf, reaching up to run his hand over the fur. The wolf nuzzled against his tiny face, clearly pleased with the baby’s progress. He laid down beside Chaol, letting the girls come up. 

“Hi, wolfie,” Briya said. “I was about to read Chaol a story, do you wanna hear it too?” The wolf raised his head in interest and glanced over at the shelf where they kept the datapads filled with old legends and fairy tales. She wandered over to it, scanning the titles for the best choice. “Let’s see here…” Muttering to herself about the last time she read certain tales, she ran down the list. 

“Ooh, what about the Battle of Jakku? Mama and Dad are in that!” 

“Yeah, but it gets all mushy at the end. I don’t wanna read that part.” The wolf huffed at her comment, mildly offended. Ignoring the objection, Briya returned to her quest of finding the perfect story. “Well, this one is always good.” She took the datapad from the shelf and turned it on so the others could see the pictures in the hologram. She began to read the adventure of a young boy from Tatooine as he learned the ways of the Jedi Knights, going on to rescue a princess and save the galaxy. She mimicked the sound effects of intense battles, and altered her voice for each character speaking. Chaol giggled at his sister’s dramatic antics, while the wolf simply watched and occasionally wagged his tail. 

But, Chaol was also just a baby and his attention span wasn’t enough for a whole story. He babbled and tried to climb the wolf sitting behind him.

Its nose helped push him up and half onto its back, similar to how Sergeant had carried Eliot the other day.

Chaol squealed with delight as he tugged on furry ears and got the cold press of the lothwolf’s nose against his cheek. Alina had long since gone onto the next story, and even Briya was losing focus, yawning as she too fell against the lothwolf. 

The small monitor on her arm beeped, signaling that she was also low on sugar, contributing to her tiredness.

“Watch them, I guess.” Alina said and scurried off towards the mess, returning with some fruit for her sister.

After being assured that all was right in the world again, Chaol snuggled into the warm fur at the scruff of the lothwolf’s neck and-

“What’s going on here?” 

Uh-oh! Mama’s back! Chaol gripped the fur as hard as he could between his fists, but was no match for when his mama picked him up.

“What have I said about having the lothwolf in the ship?”

“We were just reading stories, mama.” Briya said, still tiredly.

Chaol frowned and hung as far as he could out of Iden’s arms, reaching still for the wolf below.

Dada, do something!

He did nothing, just waited to see how Iden would respond.

“Did you find out what’s going on?” Alina asked, in an attempt to distract her.

The two older children knew what it meant when their mother sighed and dropped her shoulders. Then she eyed the lothwolf, almost like she was debating kicking him out, but then decided to let him stay for some reason.

“Your cousin, Tylo, is very, very sick.”

“He doesn’t look sick!” Briya protested.

“Not all illnesses are that obvious, sweetie. He’s got the same one your grandmother had.”

The kids wouldn’t know exactly what that meant, but Del did. 

Iden backed away at first, feigning disgust when the lothwolf stood up and inched toward her. But, when its head nuzzled her side, something inside of her softened, especially when she looked down into those familiar green eyes. The tranquil moment was broken when the door alarm went off, signaling that someone had activated the ramp. A few moments later, male voices were heard in the ready room, and a small, blond boy went sprinting down the halls towards the medbay.

“Your uncles are back.” Iden said, unnecessarily. 

That distracted the girls so that they ran off to greet them, leaving Iden with the wolf, and Chaol, who still whimpered as he tried to reach for him. 

Chapter Text

Elias watched Gid carefully tuck his son in beside Isolde, who was, effective immediately, her son’s around the clock nurse, though it was clear she didn’t mind it.

“We should sleep, too.” Gid said. “Or, when was the last time you ate?”

Elias shrugged. 

“Elias…” Gid chided, and then tugged him towards the mess. 

On the way they saw the newly arrived Hask, Gideon, Meeko and Whil reuniting with Eliot, Sergeant, and the girls. Elias paused, just for a second, and sighed.

“I can’t do this anymore, Gideon.” He said, leaning his back against the wall.

“Do what?”

“Be… responsible for everything. It’s like I know too much. Surely I should be able to help Tylo.”

“Elias, dear, we’ve been over this. Tylo is not your fault.”

“But I should have known!” Elias raised his voice. “Just like I know that Hask is actually a murderer and that Meeko is going to die as soon as he returns!”

Someone’s boots squeaked on the floor. They hadn’t realized Gideon had left to go to the ‘fresher.

“What did you just say?” 

Kriff. Elias tensed, slowly turning around to face him. “How much did you hear?”

“The last sentence. What do you mean, murderer? And what’s going to happen to Meeko?!” A mixture of concern, anger, and panic rose in his voice. 

Gid looked between them before settling his gaze back to his husband. “Actually, I want an explanation too. You seem to know more than you should about certain things. I never asked, because I simply assumed you had good instincts, but after what you just said… How do you know that?”

Feeling like he’d been backed into a corner, Elias kept his eyes on the floor and tried to keep his tone steady, but still stumbled over his words. “I-it’s a long story. It started with Del,” he saw Gideon’s question before he voiced it, “my brother, he told me on the transport to Scarif that I was supposed to die on the battlefield that day. He sounded like he’d seen it happen already, and then when he yelled for me to not go off by myself I froze, just before the explosion.” Silent stares demanded he keep going. “I asked him how he knew when we got back to the barracks. I didn’t get a straight answer but eventually I figured out that basically he got a second chance to set things right after living through a timeline where things were…different.” 

“And that timeline, that’s where Hask is from?” Gid forced his tone to remain calm. That’s what I could’ve been? A killer? “So if I never met you…” He didn’t finish the sentence. 

“You’d have stayed with the Empire until it collapsed.” 

“And the person Hask killed… That was Del? Is that when he went back?” 

Elias hesitated. “Yes. He told me most of what was going to happen, at least for important things. But after a while the timelines got too different from each other, so it wasn’t relevant anymore.”

“Wait,” Gideon interrupted, “Meeko doesn’t have someone to stop him from running into the explosion! Can’t we warn him now about it?” He threw a glance down the hall where he’d last seen him. Before he could go find him, however, Gid put his hand on the young man’s shoulder and shook his head.

“The universe will correct itself one way or the other. We don’t even know if he’ll remember once he’s home.” 

“But- I can’t just let him go to his death!” I love him. I love him and I know he won’t survive long enough to find me in his universe. The weight of Gid’s words sank in as he leaned back against the wall. He spoke just barely loud enough to be audible, “Am I gonna forget him too?”

Elias and Gid shared a look. “We can’t tell what happens when you leave this universe. Maybe somewhere in your world, there’s a version of him. Find him. Let yourself have that happy ending.”

“But I want my happy ending to be with him.”

“You know that isn’t possible if you’re going home.”

Gideon paused. “Then, I want a happy ending for him. I’m going to tell him.”

“And what?” Elias snapped. “Break his heart over something that he won’t even remember?! Wouldn’t you rather him be happy here, now, and have those memories - if he keeps them - instead of giving him a sense of dread? If you care for him so much, you’ll stop and think!”

Gideon’s shoulders heaved with two large breaths. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You would do anything for the one you loved, and that’s noble. Sometimes, you just have to slow down and reconsider what that might be.”

Gideon nodded, and walked back into the room to join Meeko and the kids.

That was only half the problem, though. Elias slowly turned back to his husband, who’d gone eerily quiet.

“Gid, let’s go talk about this-”

Gid shrugged away from his hand, even though it was gentle. But Elias wasn’t going to take no for an answer. 

“If you’re going to get angry, I’d rather you not do it in front of the kids.” He insisted, and Gid started walking without acknowledging him.

Their room was a place of many things: love, laughter, refuge for the boys when they were scared of a thunderstorm, and also an extra sickbed when any of them caught the flu.

Right now, its soundproof walls might hide one of Gid’s outbursts. They were nearly nonexistent, after so many years, but now….

“You want me to accept that I was supposed to be a monster?!” Gid roared. “And that you were the one who saved me from it?”

He began to pace back and forth. Elias watched from where he sat on the bed, desperately trying to wonder what was going on inside Gid’s head.

His husband turned, slowly. But he wasn’t angry anymore. No, the face that turned to meet him was one that Elias had only seen a few times… one where he felt as if he were looking at the younger version of his husband.

“Did you really love me?” He asked, voice high like he was trying not to cry. “Or did you only feel sorry for me? How- how could you love me, or who I was… if you knew what I did?”

“ Gideon.” Elias breathed.

“What if-what if-” Gid looked down at his shaking hands. “What if I’m- still like that?”

“Gideon, come here.” Elias said, and Gid practically fell to his knees in front of him.

“Why did you hide this from me?” He whispered, cheek against Elias’s thigh.

“It was a promise I made to my brother.”

“But our vows.” Gid looked up at him, tearfully. “To be honest. And you hid this- part of myself , from me!”

Elias could feel his own tears gathering. “I know. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

And then all of the emotion came flowing out. About the past, about Tylo, about Meeko and Gideon, and Hask, and Del, and all of them. Gid and Elias shed tears for all of them. 

“Come here.” Elias whispered, helping him stand, and gently laid him back on the bed while paying mind to his shoulder. It was time to hold him, like Gid had been doing for him recently. To hold him, and let actions take over where verbal apologies and assurances no longer could.

______________________

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Meeko murmured.

Gideon was watching from the doorway of the ‘fresher as Meeko played with Sergeant. It was a scene like Gideon had dreamed of for a lot of his life: a partner and a dog, playing together on the living room floor. 

“Nothing,” Gideon said, as Sergeant jumped onto Meeko’s chest, tackling him with his front paws so that he “oofed” and fell backward.

“Help me!” He called, jokingly, as Sergeant licked his face.

“Sarge, ici.” Gideon said, and Sergeant came running, attacking Gideon’s arm instead. 

“Go to sleep, you big bully.”

They expected Sergeant to hop onto one of the beds, but instead he bounded out of the doors, sniffing out Eliot and Whil.

“Betrayed by your own pet.” Meeko smiled, with his cheek still resting on his arm as he laid on the floor.

He’s too beautiful to die, Gideon thought, foolishly, a blush coming to his cheeks as he realized what he’d thought.

Meeko smiled and rolled onto his back as Gideon sat down on the floor and then over him into a push up position, their faces inches apart.

“Gideon?” Meeko breathed, when Gideon ducked his head so his tears wouldn’t be seen. Meeko’s shirt slowly became wet from Gideon’s tears, and it hurt that he didn’t know why Gideon was crying.

“You…me…” Gideon’s whole body heaved. “We have so little time left.”

“Shh…” Meeko combed through his hair. “It doesn’t matter how much time we have left, because we’ll be together.”

Gideon looked up at him. “You don’t understand,” he practically whispered.

“Understand what?”

“After we go home… We might forget each other.”

“I could never.” Meeko smiled in what he hoped was reassuring.

“ Meeko…” The words caught in his throat as he tried to think of a way to explain. “Gid told me the universes will correct themselves, and that means our memories could reset along with it. Everything we’ve learned, everything we’ve done…gone in an instant. We could wake up tomorrow and be two worlds apart, not knowing what we’ve left behind.” And you’d be gone hours later, forever. He kept that part to himself but the emotions bled through in his expression. “Elias said somewhere in my world there could be a variant of you. Maybe that means I’d be okay one day, but you…” He shook his head. “Meeko, you’re never going to see me again. Any version of me.”

Meeko pushed himself into a sitting position. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“Yes, I do, Meeko.” I can’t tell you why. You’d never believe me, and even if you did, it would ruin our last moments together. “This is it for you. When you go back, that’ll be the last time you ever see me and you won’t even remember any of it.” Tears streamed from his eyes again as he choked on the words. “You’ll never know how much I loved you.”

Whatever response Meeko was planning vanished. As heartfelt as that confession was, he knew there was more to it. “Gideon. What aren’t you telling me? Do you know something I don’t?” 

“Meeko-” He stammered. 

“Elias told you something else too, didn’t he? I saw how scared you looked when you came in here, like you were looking at…” He paused as the realization dawned on him. “...a ghost. I’m going to die when I go home. That’s it, right? I’m never leaving Scarif.” 

Unable to answer verbally, Gideon only gave a single nod in reply. Meeko stood up, shoving past him. “When were you going to tell me? Or were you planning to keep it to yourself so you wouldn’t have to deal with me leaving you behind?!” 

“That is not what I meant,” Gideon defended. “Gid said not to tell you-”

“So you keep secrets from me, even if it could save my life? I thought you were better than that,” he snapped. “And here I thought I was the soldier blindly following orders.” He opened the door and stormed out into the hall, letting it slide closed behind him. He didn’t know exactly where he was going, all he knew was that he needed time away from Gideon. Pacing through the halls, he found an empty room and flopped down on the bed. 

“Um…I don’t wanna interrupt your whole “teen angst” thing going on, but you’re on my bed.” 

In his anger, Meeko hadn’t noticed the door open to allow Hanan entry to their room. Desperate to appear as if he hadn’t been crying, he quickly rubbed his eyes. “Sorry. I just… Nevermind. I can go.” 

Hanan shrugged, completely indifferent. “I don’t want to get tied up in your drama, but I’m guessing it’s boy troubles? You’re welcome to hang out here, I was just coming to break into my stash of snacks.” They opened a drawer and reached in to grab a small pack of sweets. He held a second one up so Meeko could see it. “Want one? I’ve got plenty in here, just don’t tell the others.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Meeko said. He caught the sweets pack as Hanan lightly tossed it, popping one in his mouth. Clearing his throat, he changed the subject before Hanan could ask too many questions. “What’s it been like for you, what with all of us just appearing out of nowhere? Must be weird.”

“That’s one word for it, I guess.” They closed the drawer, ensuring their hoard of food was safe once more. “And now knowing you could just disappear like that-” they snapped their fingers- “is kinda freaking me out. I could blink and you just wouldn’t be there anymore.”

“Trust me, it’s unnerving for us as well.”

Hanan awkwardly sat on the bed next to Meeko. “I wonder if that is what Tylo is feeling right now: like he is going to be ripped away from us any second.”

Meeko cocked his head. “Why’s that?”

“You don’t know why my dad made you keep Whil away?”

“No.”

Hanan’s shoulders sagged. “Elias told us the other day that Tylo has Bloodburn. Or cancer. Whatever you want to call it. The point is, he’s dying.”

“Hanan, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t tell me,” Hanan wiped their face. “I’m not the one who’s dying. I almost wish that he would just do it suddenly, like Del did. Then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much to look at him.”

Meeko just listened. He was good at that.

“No one understands me like he does. Even mom and dad- I can tell they’re a bit confused. And Elias most, maybe it’s a doctor thing?”

“What are they confused by?” Meeko asked, genuinely. “Are you sick, too?”

“I’m not sick, I’m gay.” Hanan said, then under his breath, “although some people consider that a sickness, too.”

Meeko felt sympathy for the confused teen in front of him. Of course he did- he saw himself from before he met Gideon. Before he embraced being gay.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently, it’s that being gay isn’t a problem.”

“What about being trans?”

“Pardon?”

“You know, trans. I was born a girl, but now I identify mostly as a boy.”

Meeko had heard about that before, but never encountered someone who identified as trans.

“What if that makes people not like me?” He asked. “What if, when I’m ready for a partner, no one will want me?” He pulled their legs up to their chest. “How are you able to be so… open about it?” 

Meeko almost laughed a bit. “I was going to ask you the same thing. I’m not open about it. At all. That’s why my relationship with Gideon has been so wonderful… and new and free.”

“I guess I’m just open about it because I don’t care what people think. But I’m also a space baby, so it’s not like I’ve encountered a lot of people.” Hanan shrugged. “My advice is to just be yourself. And damn the consequences. Once you get back to your world, find yourself a nice man who doesn’t give a crap what other people think either.”

I don’t know if I can take that advice. 

Not when my life will end so soon.

But outwardly, Meeko smiled. “Thank you, Hanan.”

They smiled, and held out another sweet. “You’re welcome.”

After silently closing the door to Hanan’s room, Meeko was met with a feeling that he couldn’t quite place. It was peace and sadness at the same time. It was realization.

I am going to die.

I don’t know when, or how.

And I don’t care anymore. 

Walking through the last place that would ever be safe for him, knowing his time was limited, should have made him feel uneasy. And yet, as he tried to find Gideon to apologize and say one last goodbye, he wondered how he was so calm about it. If I can’t do anything to stop it, there’s no point in worrying, right? “Gideon?” He paused by the door of his room, smiling to himself at the sounds of Sarge playfully barking at his owner. “Can I come in?”

The door opened, but Gideon’s back was turned as he sat cross-legged on the floor. Not wanting to push his boundaries, Meeko took a seat on the bed a respectful distance away, making sure to stay near the exit in case Gideon didn’t want to talk. “I’m sorry about earlier. I just… I was scared. You were just trying to keep me happy, right?” He picked at a spot on the blanket, waiting for a reaction, any sign at all that Gideon heard him. “If anything, I should thank you for the warning. At least I know what’s coming now.”

Gideon didn’t respond, but he moved to the spot beside Meeko on the bed. Sarge pouted for a bit before flopping down at their feet. 

Gideon leaned back until he could rest against the wall. “I don’t wanna spend our last moments fighting.” His hands twitched, the telltale sign that his time in that universe was coming to an end. “You didn’t say anything when I…told you I loved you.”

“Honestly, I didn’t know what to say,” Meeko replied. “Not that it was too sudden or that I didn’t feel the same way, it’s just that-” He took a breath to give him a moment to put his thoughts into words- “I had some things I needed to work through. Hanan helped me accept that I shouldn’t have to be afraid of myself, of what I am or who I want to be with.” He placed his hand on Gideon’s, making him look into his eyes. “Gideon, I love you.”

“Meeko…”

He smiled, a soft expression that would only be seen in this moment. He moved closer until he could kiss him ever so gently. “Call me by my real name, just this once.” 

“Elias, I love you too.” Gideon wrapped his arms around him as he deepened the kiss, embracing the last few seconds before reality warped around them, surrounding them in darkness and pulling them apart.

Chapter Text

Whil wandered through the halls of the Corvus , poking his head into every room on a search for Sarge. Eliot tagged along behind him, making sure not to run lest he break the stitches for a second time. The younger twin spotted a brightly colored object on the floor and pointed it out to his brother. Whil picked it up, inspecting it curiously. Neither of them could read the name on the tag, but they recognized it as the collar that Sarge wore around his neck. Continuing their investigation, Eliot found a metal hook resting on the desk. He looked at Whil, as seriously as such a small child could, then they walked together back to the common area to show their fathers what they discovered.

Gid was standing by the caf machine, silently pouring himself a cup when Whil tugged lightly on his pants to get his attention. “What do you have there? Let me see,” he said, setting his mug down on the counter and kneeling down next to his son. Whil handed him the collar and hook, waiting for an explanation of the seemingly random objects. “This is Meeko’s crochet hook, and that looks like Sarge’s tag. Why doesn’t he have it on?” Oh. They’ve gone home, just like Ilya did. Maybe the Force leaves something behind every time, so we remember them? Whil blinked up at his dad, confused. “They’re not here anymore, kiddo. They’re back home, where they’re supposed to be,” he clarified.

“Sarge?” Whil sounded like he was about to cry, realizing his playmate was no longer around. 

Gid hugged him gently. “I’m sorry, kid. He went home too.” As he stood up, an idea came to him. “Let’s go see if that lothwolf is still on the ship. He’s probably sitting near Chaol again.” He picked up Eliot, and Whil stuck close to his side as they headed off to the nursery.

______________________

Gideon looked down to where Sergeant was pushing insistently against his leg. 

Did I space out or something?

The dog barked, running ahead and looking back as he waited for Gideon to catch up.

“Alright, Sarge, I’m coming.” I must have hit my head when I fell today because it freaking hurts.

He put his hand to his head, and found a hat that he didn’t usually wear.

Huh.

Where did this come from?

He held it in his hands, admired the heather red yarn. It was homemade, a gift that someone had given him. 

But who?

Sergeant ran up to him and snatched it from his hands, running the rest of the way back towards Gideon’s apartment.

“Sarge! Get back here, I was looking at that!”

The disobedient animal waited on the porch for Gideon to unlock the door, his tail whooshing back and forth and pushing leaves away.

“Give me that- hey, where’s your collar?” Gideon could tell that the fur around Sergeant’s neck was free, meaning the collar wasn’t there to hold it down.

“Did you get it caught on something?” Gideon knew it was designed to unlatch if it did, to avoid strangling him. 

Sergeant barked and trotted inside. The apartment would be lonely until Carter was back, but he had other students to coach. Students who didn’t have to live with the coach because their abusive fathers lost custody.

Gideon sat on his bed, re-examining the hat he had discovered. It was soft, softer than anything he’d felt before.

Why do I almost feel as if… this is from another world?

Sergeant whined and pushed his head under Gideon’s arm. “I know, bud. I hate not knowing.”

Sergeant looked up at him with mournful dark eyes. I remember.

But how was Gideon supposed to know that?

The origin of his hat would remain a mystery until, years later, Sergeant ran up to him again, this time with a green scarf trailing behind him, and a very flustered, curly haired young man chasing after him.

______________________

Elias woke from a severe pang in his chest.

He couldn’t breath for several moments, grasping at the medication on his bedside table. 

His frantic movements woke up Gideon, who sat up worriedly. “Elias? Are you okay?”

Elias stopped reaching for the medication, because just as abruptly as the pain had come, it was gone again, but it still left a feeling that something had shattered inside of Elias.

Something.

Or some one.

Elias.

Meeko.

“He’s gone.” Elias murmured, leaning into Gideon’s bare chest for warmth and comfort. Down the hall, they could hear the unmistakable sound of Chaol screaming.

Did he die afraid? Or were his last thoughts of love? 

They would never know. 

When they caught Hask in the mess that morning, numbly sipping a mug of caf, it was clear he was just as lost, just as pained.

“I wish I’d gotten to know the kid more.” 

“I think we all do.” Elias murmured. He didn’t know how to comfort the other man, so he just sat beside him, and Gideon on the other side.

Three men, all with vastly different stories, all mourning the same life that had been cut grievously short.

______________________

After weeks became months, everyone was basically starting to forget that Hask didn’t belong. Seeing him keeping the boys mostly out of trouble was now a normal sight, as though he was truly part of the family and not someone who'd been dragged across the rift to the wrong world. 

As nice as it was to be there, surrounded by friendly faces, he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. Why am I still here? Shouldn't I have been sent back by now?

He was around to help celebrate the twins' birthday. They were turning five years old and were now, according to Whil, very big boys.

“Do you guys celebrate birthdays any special way?”

“Gifts and cake.” Isolde shrugged. 

“Hask can go with me and Tylo.” Hanan offered. “We’ll be going to find gifts in town.”

“Be careful with your brother, okay?” Isolde told Hanan quietly, cupping their cheek. Hask stayed out of it, but he could still see the sadness in Isolde’s eyes as Hanan nodded.

Tylo.

The kid seemed to be doing okay, although he wasn’t eating that much, and now walked with much difficulty and used crutches most of the time. 

“This is the first time I’ve been out this far.” Hanan said when they disembarked and looked around. 

“The last time we were here was for Del’s funeral.” Tylo said. “Before that, once when you were still in diapers. You fell into that fountain.” He pointed across the square.

Hanan flushed and started arguing with him, but Hask stayed preoccupied.

Del’s funeral.

No, you can’t think of that right now. You apologized. It’s over.

“Hey, boys.” He called, and they turned, Tylo leaning on only one of his crutches. “So, what do the little devils even like?”

“Well, animals, obviously. You’ve seen them with Sergeant and the Lothwolf.” Hanan seemed sad about Sarge, maybe he was remembering Meeko?

“Do you know what size jackets they wear?”

“I think I’d know if I saw.” 

Hask became more absorbed than he’d like to admit as he sifted through the children’s jackets in one of the shops. He felt out of place, most of the other people inside were parents with young children, not old military officers like himself.

He’d let his hair grow out. It was longer, but not as long as Gideon’s. More like Del’s had been when he- 

Stop. 

He distracted himself by pulling out a jacket to look.

Eliot would love this one.

He put it over his arm, then continued looking in the smaller sizes for Whil. Choosing for him was harder. Even though Hask arguably knew him better, that just made him more eager for him to be happy.

After finally deciding on one, he picked it out and paid and went to see where Hanan and Tylo were off to. He found them staring in front of a shop with their bags in Hanan’s hand. 

When Hask got closer to them, he could hear their conversation.

“Hanan, do you think I will live that long?”

“To what?”

Tylo pointed, a bit embarrassed but also wistfully at the shelf of baby clothes. 

“Why don't we go eat lunch, boys? My treat.” Hask said, breaking them out of the depressing mood. 

“What did you get?”

“Well, you said clothes so I found some jackets.” Hask let them peek inside, then felt himself swell with pride when they grinned approvingly.

Tylo’s grin left as soon as he saw the food set in front of him. Even as Hask and Hanan started eating immediately, he stalled, took one bite out of the porg leg and then set it back down. 

“The meds take away my appetite.” He murmured, and caught a girl staring over Hask’s shoulder and subconsciously adjusted the beanie he wore. 

“Eat the protein, at least.” Hanan coached, and waited until Tylo at least picked it up again. 

“I can’t.” Tylo murmured, ashamed as he leaned his head onto the table.

“Are you in pain, kid?” Hask asked.

“Always.” Tylo said, muffled. “I’ve been trying to keep it together for the boys today, but…” 

“You don’t have to do that. They’re old enough to understand.”

“I don’t want them to understand.” Tylo insisted, risking a small slice of vegetable and grimacing.

“Seems to me like you’re already parent material. How old are you?”

“Eighteen.” 

Hask shrugged. “Parents don't want their kids to see them struggle. It’s selfishly selfless.”

“Do you have kids, Hask? You get along with my brothers so well.” Tylo asked.

“I don’t… know.” Hask said, hesitating. A baby in a high chair was making eye contact with him from across the restaurant. It made him oddly…homesick?

Maybe I do have kids, because Tylo is from before this universe’s Gideon met Elias, so… 

“Wouldn’t have guessed. You’re so good with Eliot and Whil.” 

“Most of that would be luck and quick reflexes, if I’m honest,” Hask remarked. “I never imagined myself with a family, I was too focused on my work.” He picked at his food awkwardly, remembering what said work included over the years. That didn’t stop you from meeting women in the past. Did you even think about calling back? 

Tylo hummed in thought. “Being an officer probably doesn’t leave you with much time for anything else, right?”

Left you with enough to go off with her… How long ago was that? Did we have a child, one that I never knew? “I suppose you could say that.” Faded memories came to his mind, nights shared long ago with someone he might’ve cared about once upon a time. Was it possible he left her with more than a broken heart? 

If I go back, I will find out. 

Once everyone except Tylo finished their meals, they started to make their way back to the Corvus . Hask handed Tylo his crutch that had fallen beneath the table, watching carefully to ensure he could get up. “Hanan, you still have our things?” 

They nodded, holding up the bags full of gifts for the boys.

“Naboo is nice.” Hask decided, looking around as they walked.

“Where did you grow up?” Hanan asked.

“Didn’t your dad tell you? Kuat. Have you ever been?”

“No, it seems too industrial-“ Hanan cut off when Tylo swayed, falling against him. 

“Is he okay?” 

“Just slipped.” Tylo said through gritted teeth. “Lost my balance.” 

He took a deep breath and tried to straighten again. 

“Don’t try it, kid.” Hask stopped him. “Conserving that energy, right?”

“I can carry him.” Hanan said, handing Hask the bag, but Hask was already leaning over.

“Come on.” 

If Tylo wasn’t so sick, he probably would have declined. But he wrapped his arms around Hask’s shoulders and let himself be lifted.

“You’re too light.” Hask murmured, not even having to adjust him. Despite the awkward position he never struggled as they headed back to the ship. He doesn't have long if it's already this bad. How much longer until it takes him? Weeks? Months? I don't think he'll see his next birthday.

At one point, Tylo’s head lulled even as his arms tightened around Hask’s neck.

It’s alright, I’ve got you.

Hask was ashamed to admit that he was blinking away tears. 

No. You’re not going to get attached to him, too. You’re going to go back home and live your own life. If Meeko’s right, you won’t even remember any of the kids.

And that’s good. 

I can’t afford to remember them in a time like I’ll be going home to. Where I kill rebels like them.

Unless…

Is it too late to change sides?

For most of his life he’d been told the rebels were dangerous and unstable criminals who tried to destroy the peace the Empire was working so hard to keep. Yet as he carried Tylo back home, he pondered about how true that really was. All Tylo’s family wanted was to protect him to the best of their abilities. Clearly they didn’t want any part of the third galactic war that was beginning to stir, just a chance to live in peace and enjoy what time together they had. 

The entry ramp lowered automatically as they approached. “Hanan, go get Elias, tell him what happened.” They nodded and dashed off to find him. Turning his head slightly to address the young man Hask was carrying, he asked, “Medbay or bedroom?”

“Bedroom. I’m just a little unsteady, nothing to worry about.” He sounded tired, and despite his words, Hask knew something was deeply wrong. He didn’t argue, however, and simply obeyed. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, kid,” he reminded, helping Tylo down to his bed. “It’s okay to not be strong all the time.” Take your own advice, Hask. When was the last time you let yourself feel emotions freely, didn’t shove them down or drink them away?

“ You are. How do you do it?” 

Hask sighed. “Believe me, son, I’m not. I just don’t let anyone see otherwise. The Empire drilled into me, into all of us, that emotion or struggles made you weak. We had to be perfect soldiers, never once showing anything other than determination to finish the mission.” Tylo didn’t respond, listening to the rare occurrence of Hask opening up. He nodded silently in encouragement to continue. “I suppose that’s something this world’s version of me did right. He got out. He found you, raised a family, let himself live…all the things I couldn’t.”

“Maybe it’s not too late for you,” Tylo replied reassuringly. “If you get a chance to remember anything, then take the opportunity to leave.”

Iden’s voice echoed in his mind. “A chance to be better.” Can I really take it, after all I’ve done? As he looked at Tylo’s soft expression, something inside of him shifted. The Force brought you here for a reason, to teach you a lesson. Maybe…maybe you can be better. For the first time in ages, he smiled. “You know, kid, I think you’re right. It’s not going to be easy, the First Order doesn’t take too kindly to deserters. But it’ll be worth it if I can make it.”

Elias and Hanan’s footsteps sounded from down the hall, breaking up the tender moment. Hask rose from the bed, gently patted Tylo’s shoulder, and slipped out the door. I can’t forget this. He searched his temporary living quarters for his datapad, opening the notepad and writing down everything that Tylo said. At the end of the transcript, he added two simple words. “Find her.” It’s been so long I doubt she’ll remember me, but if there was any chance I abandoned her when she needed help, I’ve got to try.

Chapter Text

Tylo was getting weekly scans along with his treatments, which he never looked forward to. Isolde was in charge of them, because Tylo was more receptive when she was the one injecting him with the “helpful” poison.

“You won’t have to do this for much longer.” She reminded him, cupping his cheek to calm him at the sight of her anxious son. 

“Because I’ll be dead, right?” 

“You know I don't like it when you talk like that.” Isolde scolded lightly. 

“But it’s the truth. Elias didn’t seem that hopeful.” 

Isolde said nothing, lest her own tears fall. She did the scan, and examined it like she always did, because maybe this time there would be improvement.

“Elias!” She exclaimed, alerting him from the other side of the medbay. Of course, he was wired for it to be bad. He was pessimistic that way. Tylo was already giving a long, defeated sigh. 

“Look.” Isolde insisted, pointing at Tylo’s most recent scan. “The tumors, they’ve gotten smaller.”

“I- think you’re right!” Elias said in disbelief.

It’s working.

“It’s working?” Tylo echoed.

“It… appears so.” Elias said carefully, still guarding his heart.  “It seems to be minimized.”  

“Explains why I’ve been feeling better,” Tylo coughed from where he was still lying down. 

“Come on up, bud.” Elias helped him sit up, then accepted the hug that he gave.

“I knew the Force wasn’t always right.”

Those are dangerous words, Elias thought.

“Do you think I should tell dad?” Tylo wondered.

Elias and Isolde both thought a bit. They weren’t sure. Gideon didn’t like false hope and empty promises. At the same time, he hated being left out. The silent debate went back and forth until Elias finally said, “Not yet. Let’s see how it develops.”

“Can I go see Tay now?” 

Isolde handed him his crutch, letting him hold onto her arm just long enough to stand. “Yes, I think they were talking to Hanan. Try the mess, that’s where I saw them last.”

Should I tell them? Or do I wait to make sure I really am okay? He argued with himself the whole way to the mess. Eventually he decided he couldn’t keep something like this to himself for long, especially when he pictured their bright smile when he’d say it.

The door opened, and Tay’s conversation with Hanan stopped instantly when they saw him. “We’ll pick this up later,” they said to Hanan. Before Tylo could speak, they stated, “We need to talk.” 

“Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing.” Tylo glanced at Hanan, asking non-verbally if he wanted to stay or not. Hanan didn’t move, clearly interested in what their brother had to say. “I just got the results of my last scan back. The treatment is working, the tumors are going away.”

“That’s great!” Tay grinned, matching Tylo’s mental picture exactly. “But… Now it’s my turn to talk, and you may wanna sit down. I don’t think you’d be steady enough to process everything yet.” Tylo took a seat, confused and concerned for his partner.

“Is everything okay?” 

Hanan sat beside him and gave him a sly smile. “Relax, it’s good news. They just told me, I’m only here for your reaction.” He took a snack from their pocket and motioned for Tay to tell him.

“Tylo, I’m pregnant.” 

All the gears in his mind came screeching to a halt. Did I hear that right? “Elias said…” Too many incomplete thoughts formed and dissipated, cutting off the end of his sentence. “I didn’t think that was still a possibility.” 

“Well, life has other plans for us, apparently,” Tay chuckled. “You are okay with this, aren’t you? I thought you’d be happy, Hanan was just telling me how much you wanted kids of your own.” Upon hearing their name, Hanan’s eyes widened in a pleading expression, saying Leave me out of this! 

“Of course I’m happy , I just didn’t think I’d-” He stopped to reevaluate his thoughts, taking a breath before explaining. “I’ll admit it’s unexpected. But this is great, we can start getting things ready for the-” His vision became blurry and he swayed on the spot. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought yet… The last thing he saw before blacking out was the panicked faces of his sibling and partner as they reached out to him. 

"Hey, Tylo, you still with us?" Hanan’s voice slowly became clearer, though they still sounded muffled. "Do I need to get Elias?"

"N-no, I'm alright," Tylo stuttered. "Just got a bit overwhelmed, I guess." Tay handed him a glass of water, which he took gratefully. As he sipped it, his senses returned properly along with a headache. "I'm really gonna be a dad." There's so much to do. We have to get clothes, pick out names, get a crib…can Chaol share? There's already so many kids on this ship, now we're adding another.  

Tay gently cupped his cheek, snapping him out of his spiral before he overloaded again. "We've got plenty of time, Tylo. Not everything has to be done at once, we can sort out priorities first."

“Does anyone else know?” Tylo had to know.

“Just you and Hanan, though your mom probably has suspicions. She seems to have an eye for that kind of thing.”

“I’m afraid my parents might be upset. I was born out of wedlock….”

“We were all technically born out of wedlock.” Hanan said dully.

“Well, I mean-“ Tylo flushed. “I was an accident. Parents don’t like when kids repeat their mistakes. Not that this is a bad thing!” He said quickly.

“Your parents would prefer it if we were married.” Tay stated.

“Yes.”

“I mean, Tylo’s almost nineteen, Tay, you’re twenty, why not just do it?”

“Hanan!” Tylo exclaimed.

“He’s got a point, Tylo. I can’t pretend like I haven’t thought about it. Especially with…”

“You didn’t want to do it because I’m sick?”

“No! Of course not. That made me want to, in some sentimental way, do it more.”

“Okay, then. This can still work. How far along are you, Tay?”

“I don’t think more than three months. Why?”

“When do people usually start to show?”

“Well, it’s different for every person. Lots of things matter. Height, fitness…”

“Okay. You’re tall, Tay. We could hide a little bit longer.”

“I don’t really want to have to hide.” Tay admitted. 

Tylo understood that he was asking a lot of Tay, and they didn’t deserve that. “Okay. We can talk to my parents.”

______________________

While the family celebrated several things- Tylo was getting better, and he and Tay were having a baby- Hask slipped carefully away.

So much happiness, I don’t know what to do with it. How to process it or…

He trailed off when the wind blew with enough force to make him shiver as he sat on the bottom of the Corvus’ ramp. They were back on Lothal, it had more space for the boys to run around in their new jackets. Hask had given Eliot the one that was dark grey, with black fur around the hood. To remind him of Sergeant, he supposed. Whil he gave a blue one, more like a bomber’s jacket, because that seemed to be his style. And it had been Del’s.

Now they never took them off. 

The wind howled again, but then Hask realized it was actually the blasted Lothwolf.

“What are you doing here?”

The Lothwolf huffed, and settled down beside Hask, leaning its head on top of Hask’s knee.

Stupid animal. Why does it always act so familiar with everyone? Especially the baby, and the kids…

Like he was trying to say something, the Lothwolf’s eyes focused on Hask, that odd, familiar green color.

I know that one.

The same color as Iden and Del’s daughters. 

Del.

“Del?” Hask said it aloud, and the Lothwolf thumped his tail happily. 

“You don’t expect me to rub your belly or something stupid like that, do you?”

In response, the lothwolf, which now had Del’s subconscious it seemed, sat so it could lean its head on Hask’s shoulder, his hot breath tickling Hask’s neck.

The Dreamers. 

Del. You were my brother. 

You passed out on my shoulder. Maybe you drank? Maybe you were tired. I don’t remember. 

I do remember being kind of weirded out. But now, I don’t mind. 

“There’s so much I wish I could say, you’d get it to him, right? Through the Force or whatever.”

A blink. A touch of the wet nose to his forehead.

And so Hask poured out his thoughts. His regrets. How much he wished he never pulled that trigger.

“I don’t understand how to express the pain I was in that day. How confused I was. The pressure- I was almost… brainwashed. I was my own villain. It was never Del. Not ever him, and especially not his family, and I’m ashamed and- and disgusted by how I said I would go after them.”

As he talked, Hask felt an odd tingling in his legs, like they were going numb. Then, his fingers. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “This has really been a gift. To see myself… happy.” A tear slipped down his cheek, thinking of them all. Gideon and Elias and Isolde and Tylo.

Isolde and Tylo.

Isolde-

The lothwolf barked once, sharply, before picking up the First Order cap that had been left behind as Hask disappeared, and ran into the Corvus .

Chapter Text

Hask woke with a start, his alarm blaring on the small nightstand beside his bunk. He sighed as he stood up to get dressed in his uniform. He reached for the hook where his cap usually was, only to find it missing. Strange. No one ever comes in here, where could it have gone? I’ll find it later, I can’t be late to the debriefing. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his datapad to quickly check his notes. Instead of the details of what had happened on Pillio however, he found a transcript of a conversation he must have had, with someone named “Tylo.” 

Tylo… Memories came rushing back to him. The temple on Lothal. Elias. Meeko. Gideon. The mysterious lothwolf. The boys. All at once, he remembered everything. I can’t stay here. I’ve got to get out. Straightening his jacket, he walked out to the hall and quickly located one of his subordinates, a young ensign who was carrying a stack of important looking boxes. “You there. Stop.”

The ensign froze, eyes wide in terror. “Did I do something wrong, sir? I was just bringing these to your quarters for inspection.”

“No, you’re doing fine,” he checked their name tag, “Vane. I just had a question, can you tell me where this ship is heading?”

His calmer than usual attitude must have scared them even more. They swallowed and cleared their throat before answering, “Back to the base, sir.” 

The base… I can take a small ship from there. She wouldn’t still be on Vardos, not since Operation Cinder. “Thank you, Vane. You’re dismissed.” Not wanting to stick around to understand why he was acting so different, the ensign spun on their heel and marched off. 

They still think you’re one of them, an intimidating officer. Act like it, or you’ll be questioned. He adjusted his posture to be perfectly straight and proper, even after all the time spent on the Corvus it still came easily to him. Where would she have gone? Back to her homeworld? As casually as possible, he pulled up the holomap and searched for the planet Kaiyo. He marked the coordinates on his datapad, making a plan on how to get there. Will she even talk to me? I’ve got to hope that at least she’ll listen. 

I should probably send her a message first.

He typed and retyped on his datapad. Finally, he settled on:

Isolde,

I don’t know what you might think of me, and at the moment, I’m not so sure of myself. 

For what it’s worth, I’ve changed. I don’t know what that means to you, but I just have this… sense, that there’s a way I could have  been there for you all of these years.

If you’ll let me, I’d like to talk to you. Soon. 

Gideon

His first name seemed so personal now.

Of course he was careful to send it on a secure channel that couldn’t be easily tracked back to him, for everyone’s safety. 

He was surprised when he got a response almost immediately.

Meet me at my home, 1800. She sent the address, and nothing else. He couldn't tell her tone from the message, but the fact she responded at all seemed to be a good sign. Mentally preparing himself for whatever may happen, he stood by the window and watched as stars sped past until the ship arrived at the First Order base.

______________________

Stealing a starship was much easier than it should've been, although perhaps the fact he was one of the highest ranking officers had something to do with his success. After all, no one dared question General Hux when he wanted something. Hask input the coordinates and set off to Kaiyo. 

He went over his internal script multiple times, each time wondering if it was quite the right thing to say. As he double checked that the coordinates were correct, he glanced down and realized he was still in his First Order uniform. Fantastic first impression, Hask. You're far too early anyway, go find something else suitable for meeting an old lover.

The ship set down on the outskirts of a town. People around him tried not to make eye contact and moved quickly out of his path as he attempted to locate a clothing store. When he entered the building, the shopkeeper practically stood at attention until Hask waved his hand in dismissal, a sign to relax.

"I'm not here on military business. Do you have something that would be appropriate for…meeting a friend?" He hesitantly scanned the shelves of clothes, hoping there would be something decent in his size. 

After being pointed in the direction of a simple navy tunic, Hask picked out some black pants to go with it, and paid the very confused shopkeeper extra. 

As he stepped into the roads of Kaiyo again, he was struck by how… nice it was. Air that was cleaner than he could have imagined. Happy people. 

Virtually untouched by the idea of war.

As he continued scanning the crowds, he ran his hand through his still unusually long hair, and then down his face. 

I’m a new man, he thought. What is something the old Hask probably wouldn’t have done?

He thought back to his relationship with Isolde. In the few years they’d known each other, her personality did rub off on him a bit. He was happier around her, smiling more often. But she was always giving him things (her love language was definitely acts of service) and what did he do in return?

Nothing. 

Hask impulsively found himself in a normal shop next, looking for a gift. 

She was always cold, he thought, scanning the blankets. And she liked both earthy tones and bright colors, so this should do nicely. It was a tan blanket. 

He was about to check out, but then he remembered something.

Tylo. 

If there’s a Tylo in this universe here, I want to make a good impression. 

What did the other Tylo like?

He scanned the shop, and his eyes settled on something. 

Perfect, he thought, picking out a red scarf. That way, if he doesn’t exist, I just got Isolde two gifts, instead.

Smiling to himself, Hask left the store and decided to head over to Isolde’s early, for a good impression. 

He caught himself looking in a shop window to make sure he looked okay. 

It’s alright, she got old, too.

He found the more modern apartments near the center of the city he was in, and rode the lift to her floor. However, his hand paused as he tried to knock.

Why am I so nervous?

I’m not a stupid teenager. I can do this.

At 1750, he knocked. 

The door opened on its own, maybe it had been programmed to let him in when he arrived. Isolde always thought ahead like that. 

There was no one in the living room or the kitchen that he could see, so he awkwardly stood just inside the doorway. Remembering Isolde’s odd etiquette, he slipped off his boots, and noted that there were more than just her pair at the door. One that was her size, clearly, then a pair of men’s boots that was larger, and then a pair that was smaller than both of them, that could probably fit in Hask’s hand.

Oh.

She’s moved on, then.

That’s okay.

He took a breath, running his hand through his hair again, when suddenly he heard rushing footsteps.

“Gideon?” 

There she was. Always using his first name. But he liked that, now. It reaffirmed the intimacy that had once existed. 

“Isolde.” He said, voice cracking. “Sorry I’m early.” 

“No problem,” she said, brushing off her hand on an apron she was wearing. Against her hip, she steadied a tray with some empty dishes and cups. 

“Do you need help with that?” He offered, and she actually turned away a bit. 

“No, no. You’re my guest, Gideon. Sit down. I’ll have dinner in a second.”

That’s the Isolde I know.

So, Gideon sat at the table. On one end was a high chair, an undeniable sign that there was a child in the house.

She must have been taking care of her husband. Maybe he’s sick. Or maybe it’s her father. Isolde always worried about her parents.

“Here we are.” She rounded the corner, tray now filled with a few bowls of rice and a large pot of something, and some small pastry like items on the side.

Ok.

We’re sitting down to eat.

….What now?

“I missed you.” Isolde said it first. She missed me? Has she been waiting for me to come home all this time? “I know your work kept you busy, but I always hoped you’d come find me again.” She smiled softly, and Hask’s heart fluttered against his will. You’re a grown adult, control yourself!

“I should have come back a long time ago.” He took a bite of the food, and old memories of date nights with her homemade cooking rushed back to him. “The Empire turned me into someone I never wanted to be. Being here, with you, that’s when I was the best version of myself.” Not too forward at all, he mentally berated himself. Change the subject before you scare her off. Looking around for something else to talk about, his eyes found the tiny pair of shoes sitting by the door. 

Isolde followed his gaze. “Yoru. Our granddaughter.” She sipped her tea, pausing to gauge his reaction to the news. 

“Our what? ” Out of all the things he’d prepared for, this was not one of them. A granddaughter? Tylo survived in this world? “...can I see her?” 

“I just put her down for a nap, after we eat I can bring you to her.” For the rest of the meal, they talked about everything they could possibly think of. Where they’d been, what Isolde had been doing to support herself and her family, anything to keep the attention away from why Tylo wasn’t joining them. Hask had asked about him, and Isolde simply responded, “Oh, he ate before you came over. Don’t take it too personally, he prefers to be by himself most days now.” He could see in her eyes a kind of hidden sadness but didn’t press for more information.

So it’s happening here too. Maybe it’s not as bad? 

“I suppose we could ask if he wants some company for a while.” Isolde stood up and put the dishes in the sink. Before Hask could offer to help, she shook her head. “I’ll wash them later. Let me check and see if he’s awake.” Knocking lightly on the door, she said, “Tylo? You have a visitor. Can we come in?”

Through the door Tylo’s coughing was muffled but still painful sounding. His voice was quiet, almost too quiet to hear. Hask could just barely make out a “yes” before Isolde opened the door. Tylo lay in his bed, using most of his strength just to move his head towards them. “Yoru?” Another coughing fit interrupted his sentence. 

“No, sweetheart, your father is here. He wanted to see you.” Tylo blinked a few times in confusion. Isolde motioned for Hask to move closer to him, so he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey, Tylo.” He’s so frail, even worse than the other one. Did I get here just in time to say goodbye? He took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself enough to speak. “I know I haven’t been around much, and you needed me when I left, but I’m sorry. I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.” Tylo shivered, and Hask remembered the gift he brought. “I have something for you. I’ll be right back, let me get it.” As delicately as he could, so as not to disturb Tylo too much, he stood up and grabbed the gift bag from the living room. He removed the blanket, carrying it back to the bedroom and gently draping it over his son. “There, is that any better?” 

“Mom told me about you.” Tylo murmured. His voice was low and shaky, and Hask cursed his old worn ears that could barely understand. “She said you were an officer.”

“I was.” Hask said, looking at Tylo’s eyes, the only thing that didn’t seem to betray how sick he was.

“I guessed that was why you weren’t around. Still hoped you would visit. Telling people my dad was a commander got me some credit at school.” 

“I should have visited.” Hask said. “Regardless of if I knew you existed or not. Trust me, I’ll be taking care of you and your mother from now on. You won’t want for anything anymore.” 

“Credits can’t buy what I want anymore. Surely you can tell that just by looking at me.”

“It’s an expression, son.” Hask said softly, putting a hand to Tylo’s face, then recoiling at how hot he was.

“Isolde,” Hask called. “He’s feverish.” 

Those quick, rushing footsteps again and then Isolde peeked her head in. 

“No wonder you were shivering so much.” She murmured, bustling about the room to make Tylo warmer to control the chills. 

“What can I do?” 

“Nothing!” Isolde snapped. “You probably just stressed him out!” 

“It’s okay, mama, let him help.” Tylo muttered. 

At least someone trusts me.

Hask unconsciously unclenched the fist at his side. He didn’t even realize he’d made it, but getting yelled at tended to trigger him.

Isolde sighed. “In the ‘fresher there are some cold packs. Bring me three of them.” 

Hask nodded, stepping into the door Isolde described, and finding not just the cold packs, but a ton of other medical devices and equipment.

I wish someone else were here to help. Someone who knows what they’re doing. 

Elias.

Dammit, Hask thought. Now’s not the time to be thinking about your alter-ego’s husband who actually died four decades ago. You killed his brother anyway, why would he help you?

He quickly gathered the cold packs and brought them back to Isolde, who nestled them gently on either side of Tylo’s neck and then held one to his forehead. 

“Isolde, really, I can stay with him.” Hask said. 

She didn’t respond. 

Tylo’s tired eyes peeked out from under his mother’s hand, giving Hask an apologetic look. 

We can talk later. I promise I can hang on a bit longer, he seemed to say. 

Hask nodded and left the room. 

She’s just stressed. She doesn’t actually hate you, even if she probably should.

He’d never seen Isolde like this before, anyway. Probably because she wasn’t ever stressed before. In fact, the only time she’d ever yelled at him was as he walked out the door two decades ago.

He decided to explore the rest of the house to help calm himself. The living room was decorated with holos that he now knew were Tylo and Yoru. One in particular caught his eye, one of the collage style ones with several photos inside of it. One of them was Isolde, obviously exhausted, but beaming from ear to ear with who could only be newborn Tylo on her chest. 

You missed that, Hask yelled at himself.

As if the picture was coming to life, the sound of a baby’s crying floated through the house and into Hask’s ear.

I just put her down for a nap, Isolde had said. 

Hask instinctively followed the noise down one hall, into a smaller bedroom with a crib and the crying child inside.

Maybe this is how I help. 

Remembering Chaol, Hask gently reached in and picked the baby girl up. 

“Hello, Yoru.” He cooed, surprising even himself at how soft his voice was. “That is your name, isn’t it?” 

Slowly the child stopped her fussing, like he was exactly who she expected to pick her up. She looked up at him with Tylo’s eyes, framed by the large, trademark Hask ears.

“Yeah, that’s it.” He soothed. “Aren’t you supposed to be napping?”

Yoru twisted in his arms like she was saying a sassy response.

As Hask lightly paced the room with Yoru in his arms, it didn’t take long for him to realize that he wasn’t just holding his granddaughter, he was holding his second chance. 

If Tylo isn’t going to live, I will raise you , instead.

A rather pessimistic way of thinking, but that was how he worked.

“She likes you,” Isolde mused, causing Hask to twirl around to face her. “You never seemed like the type of man who wanted to be around children. What changed?”

A pair of little troublemakers far away from here. A young person who wasn’t afraid to put me in my place. Two teenagers that fell in love even though the worlds were against them. “Just time, I suppose. Time spent alone with my thoughts that always drifted back here.” 

Yoru yawned and her blinks became slower until she finally fell asleep, tiny hand curled around Hask’s finger. 

“Gideon,” Isolde began, “Why did you come back? Not that I’m not happy to see you, of course. But it’s just so…out of character for you. Why now? Where were you when Tylo was born? When he was growing up? When we got the diagnosis?”

“Isolde, there’s nothing I can do to fix everything I’ve done in the past. I’m sorry, truly I am. All I cared about then was myself. But recently…” He faltered. Would she believe me if I told her the truth?... No more excuses, no more lies. She deserves to know, even if she thinks I’ve lost it by the end of it. “I had an experience that changed me. This is going to sound crazy, but I swear I’m telling the truth. The Force pulled me into a different world where I met several versions of myself, who taught me what I needed to learn. To forgive myself, to be kind, to do what I should have done long ago.” 

As expected, Isolde just stared at him. But something in her knew he wasn’t making this up. The man I knew would never come up with something this elaborate. “Different versions… Is that why you found me? Was there…another Tylo?”

“Yes, there was. And he had a younger sibling, Hanan, and twin four-year-old brothers. I know they don’t exist here-” Probably a good thing for now, there is such a thing as too much chaos- “but seeing him made me think of all I missed out on. I can’t be there for him anymore, but I can be here to help you now. To help raise little Yoru, if you’ll let me.” 

“You’re not the man I once knew, Gideon. You’ve really changed,” Isolde decreed. “You can have that bedroom-” she gestured to a door- “I’ve been sleeping in Tylo’s room anyway, so it hasn’t been used lately. I may still have a few of my things in there, so let me clean it out first.” 

“No, let me do it,” he protested. “I’m not your guest anymore. If I’m staying here, then I should do my part of the housework.” It’s long overdue anyway, she’s had to survive on her own far too long. He opened the door, only to find the bed was still made from the last time she’d slept there. A body pillow laid abandoned on the covers, the inanimate replacement of him for all the years he wasn’t by her side. She always did like cuddling. That’s probably over now, isn’t it? That relationship burned long ago, I’m not even sure what we are now. 

The only things remaining in the room were some old nightclothes that looked like they hadn’t been worn in ages. Silently removing them from the drawer, he set them on the edge of the dresser to return to Isolde later. He picked up the body pillow, taking it to the living room. “Isolde, what would you like me to do with this?” He held it up so she could see what he was talking about. 

“If you’re not going to use it, you can just put it with the other pillows. Do you have nightclothes?” 

That had escaped Hask while he was at the store, so he shook his head.

Isolde nodded and then opened a closet to find some old boxes. “These are some things you left. See if you have extra clothes.” 

Hask took the box, looking inside. There was an odd number of mismatched socks as a symbol of his forgetfulness, as well as some random pens and knickknacks. At the bottom was an old shirt.

This’ll work. 

“Do you need anything else?” Isolde asked.

“Do you need anything”, he corrected, and Isolde paused a bit.

Not something you can buy, she thought, and slowly walked over to Hask, and then wrapped her arms around him.

He knew how to respond, now. To be softer. He wrapped his arms around her, too, and held her. 

______________________

Hask couldn’t sleep, even if Isolde’s room should have been at least somewhat familiar to him. It smelled like her, and looked like her, and he ended up leaving the pillow on the bed.

He was able to sleep for about four hours before becoming restless. He sat up, and walked back through the house to the only place he seemed relatively welcome. 

Yoru’s room was dim, but not dark. Probably in case Isolde needed to get to her quickly. 

Meanwhile, the baby stirred as he entered. 

“Come here, sweetheart.” Hask said, lifting her up and then sitting in a chair with her on his lap. “You’re not sleeping either.”

She babbled, drooling a bit and reaching up to his face. 

“Are you going to be sassy like your dad?” 

She babbled again, her tiny mouth searching for something Hask definitely didn’t have. “Are you hungry? Or do you have teeth now?”

He rubbed a hand gently on her lips and Yoru clamped down. 

“Ow!” He yelped, tugging it away. 

That answers that question. 

“So your teeth are bothering you, huh? I don’t know what to do for that. Is there something for you to chew on?”

If only Chaol had been a bit older to help prepare me. 

Around the room he walked, and decided to see if he could find clues.

There was a refrigerator bin that had some baby looking toys in it. 

“One of these, huh?” He asked, picking out a red one and handing it to her. She waved it around in her tiny hands before beginning to gnaw on it.

“That’s better.” He murmured. 

He didn’t know how much time had passed until he felt a small hand on his shoulder.

“Gideon? Tylo’s fever broke. He wants to talk to you.” 

“Of course.” He said immediately, standing up and carefully handing Yoru back to Isolde. 

On second thought, he had to ask Isolde. “Does her mother ever come around?”

Isolde’s eyes went to the floor, and Hask immediately had a bad feeling. 

I don’t know if it was Tay in this universe, but I hope not. They seemed like a nice kid. 

“Yoru’s mother was killed in a First Order attack. They weren’t even a Rebel, just a bystander.”

“Poor Tylo.”

Isolde nodded like it was a memory she wanted to suppress. “Don’t talk about it around Tylo, please. Stress isn’t good for him. And I’m sorry for last night.”

Hask smiled in a way that he hoped was forgiving. “It’s okay. Just keep letting me know how to help.”

He went and sat back at Tylo’s bedside. “Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?”

Tylo smiled just a bit. “I’m okay.”

A short, awkward silence passed between them until Tylo spoke.

“I was wondering if you think you’re strong enough to lift me.” 

“What?” Hask was momentarily confused. “Do I seem like I’m not?”

A shrug. “I don’t know how old you are.”

“I’m pretty sure I can lift you. Why?”

“I wanted to go outside. Mama isn’t strong enough to help me into my wheelchair anymore.” 

“Are you allowed to go outside?” Hask was nervous because of his fever last night.

“I can do what I want, I’m an adult!” Tylo snapped, just a bit. “I’m just sick.”

“Okay. We can go outside. Let me just talk to your mother first.” Hask was about to stand but Tylo reached for him. 

“Put me in my wheelchair first so it’ll be harder for her to say no.” 

Fair point.

Tylo clung to Hask’s neck as he first sat him up, then lifted him into the chair and covered his legs with the new blanket. As much as Hask wanted to remember Tylo in his arms forever, he knew it wasn’t possible. 

“Let’s go find your mom, then.” Hask decided. “She’ll probably give me a makeover first so I’m not recognized.”

“Oh, I’d help with that!” Tylo seemed genuinely excited. “I wish I could have a makeover, it’s been so long since I last did my nails. Will you get Yoru for me?” 

Hask nodded. “Absolutely.”

A few minutes later he was seated in front of Isolde as she did his hair, combing some dye into it to finish his telltale blonde locks into the more realistic white-grey for his age.

“This isn’t fair.” He murmured, “you still have your beautiful dark hair and you’re only a few years younger than me!”

“We can’t have anyone recognizing you!” But Isolde was clearly enjoying this.

Hask grumbled some more when Isolde handed him a razor. 

“The beard doesn’t suit you. I miss my clean-faced Gideon.” 

He flushed, just slightly when she smiled. He’d missed that, the innocence and beauty of it.

He shaved until only the hair above his upper lip was left. 

“You could leave it there,” Isolde mused.

“Absolutely not.” Tylo put in from where he played with Yoru.

After the modifications were done, the little family went out to the square. Hask could tell that Tylo was cringing away at all the stares he was getting, no one was wearing a beanie like he was in this warm weather.

"Is that restaurant we used to go to still open?" Hask asked hopefully. The food there could never compare to Isolde’s, but it was still good. "I figure we could stop for lunch, then you could show me all your favorite places around here."

Isolde adjusted the scarf he'd given her, mentally making an itinerary to bring him to the places holding the best memories. "Yes, it's there," she replied. “After we get something to eat, why don’t we go up to the park? The cherry blossoms are in full bloom now, it’s a beautiful sight.” Gideon noticed a slight shift in her tone, as though there was something else she wanted him to pick up on without outright saying so. 

The park? Why does she want to go there? When he didn’t answer, Isolde quickly dropped her gaze. He knew he missed something, and it hurt her to think about it. I’ve forgotten something important, haven’t I? What was so special about the cherry blossoms? It’ll come back to me when we’re there, I’m sure of it. Trying to act as though he remembered the significance of the park, he responded, “I’m sure it’ll be lovely.” 

Isolde merely hummed in reply. I’ve definitely upset her. They had lunch together in silence, and although the food was delicious Gideon couldn’t enjoy it as much as he wanted to, still trying to remember a moment from a lifetime ago. I’ll put that together later. No point in letting a nice moment pass by when recalling the past. 

Despite the fact that she wanted to be angry with him for forgetting that special moment, Isolde couldn’t help but soften a little when she saw how Gideon tried so hard to show he’d changed, that he could be someone deserving of being with her again. She watched as he helped Tylo eat, more gentle than she’d ever seen him. All she had wanted was to raise a family with him, and though she thought that dream died decades ago, it came to life again before her eyes. She pushed down that dark little voice in her head that said How much longer will this last? How many more days until he leaves again? History loves to repeat itself, you know. The voice from her heart answered much louder That won’t happen. We’re both different now, we’ve learned from our mistakes. We will make it work. 

She held out a spoonful of baby food to Yoru, who clamped her mouth shut and turned away. “You’ve got to eat, Yoru. Open up, please,” she pleaded. The baby refused, instead reaching towards Gideon. “He’s too busy with your dad, sweetheart.” I was there for your birth, I changed your diapers in the middle of the night, I made you bottles every day, and I am betrayed by my own granddaughter. She wants him to feed her? She set the spoon down, chuckling to herself over the actions of the traitorous youngling. “Well, it seems the baby already prefers you over me. That’s at least one point in your favor.”

Gideon looked up, glancing between Isolde and Yoru. “And how many points do I need to be considered part of the family again?” He grinned playfully. 

“I haven’t decided that yet. We’ll see how it goes,” she shot back. She pretended to count on her fingers for a moment. “At least six more, I think.” 

Tylo put his face in his hands, trying to hide his laughter. Well, they’re getting along at least! “Whenever you two are done acting like lovesick teenagers, I’d like to go to the park. It’s really nice there, I think Yoru would like the flowers.” Just please, please, stop flirting in front of me. It’s painfully awkward watching it.

Yoru babbled in agreement, chewing on the spoon as Gideon tried to pull it back.

“I remember that you wanted to see them too, don’t act like you weren’t behind this.” Gideon scolded Tylo lightly as Yoru finally let go and refused to try any more food. 

When Tylo tried to hold Yoru, she fussed until Gideon picked her up again, leaving Isolde pushing Tylo’s wheelchair up the hill towards the park.

It was the first time Gideon saw any kind of weakness from Isolde. It was obviously difficult for her to push the chair up an incline.

“Yoru, here, you have to go to grandma.” Gideon insisted, handing her back to Isolde and pushing Tylo the rest of the way, ignoring Yoru’s angry cries.

When the trees became visible, Gideon was hit with the memories of walking around with Isolde, her hand in his, blissfully ignoring the war around them.

Oh.

I remember.

“Did I ever tell you that this was where your father proposed to me?” 

“What?!” Tylo’s head whipped around. “Dad, you proposed? ” 

“Yeah, I forgot about that…” Gideon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. 

It was the wrong thing to say. The offended look on Isolde was back, and Gideon felt like yelling at himself again. 

Way to ruin it. 

He decided not to say anything else, just followed his family through the park, holding Yoru up so she could reach the blossoms with her tiny hands and pull them off the trees.

______________________

After they returned home from their outing,Gideon finally had the chance to apologize. 

“I’m sorry, Isolde,” he said, coming back into the living room after helping Tylo back into his bed for a nap. Yoru played in a playpen on the floor. “I… don't have an excuse for forgetting something like that.”

“It wasn’t that long before you left.” 

“I thought the explanation would have been enough.”

Isolde whirled to face him. “What explanation?”

Gideon was confused. “The one from Admiral Versio, he sent something to all the family members when he selected us to Inferno Squad. I specifically put your name down for him to contact and to make sure you and the baby would be taken care of.”

Isolde’s eyes narrowed. “I got no such message. No help, ever .”

“What?” Now Gideon was angry. 

That’s why you’re so angry. You thought I left you and our child to fend for yourselves.

“Now I don’t know what to say.” Gideon’s fists opened and closed slowly, and then he slowly sat on the couch beside her, and took her hand. 

Something electrical shot up his arm. Isolde jumped too, and then he realized that a tear fell from her eye.

“Isolde.” He breathed, reached out and wiped it with his thumb.

“ I thought you left us.” She sniffed. “I thought you left me, scared and alone, with no one to hold my hand through the pain when Tylo was born, and he had troubles eating, and when he was always sick and having troubles in school, and-“ 

Gideon caught her when she fell into his arms. He held her close, letting her tears soak into his shirt. He debated about whether or not he should say something, and finally decided on, "I never wanted to leave. But the Empire gave me no choice, I couldn't come see you. I thought about you every day while I was gone." 

"You never called, or messaged, or anything."

She's got you there. "Every transmission was monitored, and if there was even a slim chance it could be compromised, it was deleted." 

“Does that mean you never got mine either?”

Gideon shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

The monitor on the side table beeped loudly, breaking up the moment. Isolde stood at once and rushed to Tylo's room to check on him. "Gideon," she called. "Come in here." 

"Is something wrong?" His question was answered as soon as he entered the room. The screen showing Tylo's vitals was going crazy, beeping at an uneven rate. "Tylo, what's going on, son?"

“He’s feverish again, over 104. I need you to wake him up.” Isolde rushed around and found the ice packs again. “He must have gotten too stressed.”

“Tylo.” Gideon sat himself down at his side, hands on his son’s shoulders, noting that after even just a few minutes of being alone he was soaked with sweat and shivering. “Wake up, buddy.”

For a few terrible moments his eyes remained closed, but Gideon could see him fighting it until finally, with a gasp, he was awake. 

“You had us scared there for a moment.” Gideon tried to smile as he held the ice pack on Tylo’s forehead. But this wasn’t like the last time his temperature had spiked- this time Tylo was so disoriented he could hardly focus on anything. 

“Hey, son.” Gideon repeated. “You’re okay.” 

A tear slipped down Tylo’s cheek. “It hurts.” 

“I know.” 

Tylo shivered, and Isolde folded more blankets around him until she couldn’t find any more. Tylo’s eyes followed her, slowly. 

Then, finally. “Dad? I’m glad you’re here.”

Gideon smiled. “Yeah, I am too, son.” 

“We’re a family again. Just like I knew we would be.” Tylo’s hand twitched forward slightly, like a child reaching for his dad. Gideon gently took it in his own, delicate as he could, as though Tylo would break if he moved too quickly. “Stay with me until I fall asleep?” 

“Of course,” he agreed. True to his word, Gideon never moved from his spot on the edge of Tylo’s bed. The vitals monitor seemed to settle for the moment as he drifted off to sleep with a faint smile on his face. After making sure he wouldn’t accidentally wake him, Gideon rose and went outside to find Isolde staring up at the stars. 

She still loves stargazing. “Can I join you?” Glancing behind her at the sound of his voice, Isolde patted the ground beside her and nodded. “When I was there, in the other universe, I came out on a night like this to show Del’s child the stars. He loved it so much.” He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts. “Yoru reminds me so much of that little boy, she knows more than she should. I can see it in her eyes.”

“Do you think she could be a Jedi someday?”

“If that’s what she wants,” he answered. “Tylo must be so proud of her. I certainly am.”

Isolde leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Do you remember our first kiss? I know it was so long ago but…with you here again, out here under the stars, it almost feels like we’re revisiting that night.” 

"We were a lot younger then. No idea how the world worked, it was only you and me." His hand hovered over her arm, unsure if she would allow a simple touch like that. Daring to be bold, he lightly brushed against her shoulder, and to his surprise she didn't resist. "Things seemed so simple when it was just the two of us."

"Yes," she sighed. The night was so peaceful and quiet that she had to fight to stay awake. 

"It's getting late, we should go back inside," Gideon said, helping Isolde up. "With Tylo already asleep, you should probably sleep in your own room tonight. I'll take the couch." 

"Gideon, it's alright if you want to stay with me for the night. I don't mind sharing the bed with you." 

"Are you sure?" He asked with uncertainty. I don't want to overstep if she's just being polite. 

"I wouldn't have offered unless I meant it," she reminded. 

Gideon couldn’t even remember the last time he’d shared a bed with Isolde all those years ago. But his heart did seem to beat a bit faster when he watched Isolde start tossing the decorative pillows off of the bed, followed by the body pillow. 

When Gideon just stood there, Isolde opened her arms and smiled with a large grin. “Don’t tell me you’re scared, Gideon. We used to do this every night.”

Every night.

I can hardly remember that. 

I can hardly… remember.

He finally got into bed beside her. It was a smaller bed than their shared apartment back on Vardos, but it wasn’t like Isolde needed that much space anyway.

She immediately curled up to him like this was normal, like it hadn’t been twenty years and she wasn’t wondering if she was dreaming or that he was just going to leave. 

“Comfortable?” He murmured. 

She giggled softly in response. They were twenty years old again, and bed sharing was such a new, grown up concept that they thought they were rebels for doing. 

One of Gideon’s hands remembered how to play with her hair. One of her arms squeezed tighter around his waist.

“Goodnight, Isolde.”

“Goodnight, Gideon.”

______________________

Yoru's shrill cry woke Isolde and Gideon a little after sunrise. "She shouldn't be hungry so soon, why is she up already?" Isolde got out of bed and went to soothe her granddaughter. 

If she's anything like Chaol… Gideon rushed to Tylo's room, knowing exactly what he would find. He pushed open the door, and just as he expected, Tylo lay unmoving in his bed, the silent echo of a smile still on his face. At least he's not in pain anymore. 

From the other room, Isolde called out to Gideon, "I can't get her to calm down. She wants her dad, is he awake yet?"

Gideon walked out and quietly closed the door. I can't tell her. But she has to know, how can I…? He spotted the baby in her arms. He took Yoru, bouncing her lightly as she gazed at him, hiccupping softly after finally ceasing crying. With a sorrowful look at Isolde, he spoke gently to the little one, "He's with your mama now. You know that, don't you sweetheart? But they're both so happy together again. And I'm sure they're watching over you, wherever they are."

Silent tears fell from Isolde’s eyes. "He's gone?" 

"He's at peace now." He could see her unspoken doubt on her face. "Will you leave me too?" her expression seemed to say. "I promised I'd be here to help. I'm not going anywhere, Isolde. And I’m eternally grateful for the time I got to spend with Tylo, even if it was short.”

“I know that it meant a lot to him, too.” Isolde wiped her eyes, then just shook her head and folded herself under Gideon’s free arm.

I’m sorry, Isolde, I know it seems like I’m not grieving, but I promise I’m just as upset as you. Just… so used to keeping it together.

Tylo.

My son.

My boy.

“I never had the chance to be a good father to him,” Gideon said a few days later as he, Isolde and Yoru looked down at where Tylo had been laid to rest, next to the headstone marking where Yoru’s mother was buried. Gideon didn’t look at it, he didn’t care too much if it was the kid from the other universe or not. He would learn with a fresh slate from Isolde, so they could tell Yoru stories of her parents as she grew older and became curious.

“You want to give dada some flowers?” Isolde asked, when Yoru babbled and kicked her side, waving a pudgy fist with flowers inside of it.

Gideon watched Isolde lean down so Yoru could unball her fist, the flowers- cherry blossoms- floated to the ground. Yoru’s tiny hand skimmed the headstone as Isolde stood again.

“I never got to take him camping, or teach him how to shoot a blaster or drive a speeder.” Gideon continued. “But I promised him I would look after you and Yoru. That’s where my chance is.”

Isolde ended up leaving the site before Gideon did, Yoru needed a change and a snack. Gideon must have stayed there for a few more hours, reflecting on everything until he found his way back to Isolde’s apartment. Yoru was down for a nap, and Isolde was standing in the doorway of Tylo’s room, which had been stripped bare and deep cleaned by droids who knew what they were doing. Any of the clothes he wore towards the end, the sheets he had touched, were burned.

Isolde managed to save the blanket Gideon had given him, though, washed it herself, and now had it draped onto her shoulders.

“Hey.” Gideon came up behind her and kissed the side of her forehead, then realized she was also hugging something to her chest.

“Tylo’s holos.” She sniffed. “Every single one of them, from the moment he was born up until he relapsed and didn’t want me taking them anymore.”

“Would you like to show them to me?” He asked, and she nodded into his shoulder, and let him lead her to the couch where they stayed for hours, and Gideon let himself be washed up in the stories that Isolde told about their son.

Chapter Text

After the mysterious lothwolf dropped Hask’s cap at Elias’s feet, he understood what it wanted to say. They’re gone now. Have you learned anything from them? Kneeling down until he was on the same level as the wolf, he asked, "Can you take me back to the temple?" The wolf turned around, leading him down the exit ramp and into the desert. 

The entrance to the temple remained open, waiting for him. The wolf laid down by the doorway and watched him until he disappeared too deep into the temple. Elias stepped inside, but unlike last time, he wasn't angry or afraid, but calm. At that moment, a familiar flash of blue flickered in front of him, and the Force ghost form of Del stood in the center of the room.

Elias spoke first. "I know what I needed to learn. You tried to teach me to let go, that I would be okay without you." He briefly reflected on what the other versions of himself and Gideon had shown him. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Let yourself feel as deeply as you do. Love the people you're with, but when the time comes, you must let them go. "I don't think I'll ever be truly ready to let go, but I can do my best to keep going anyway. Even if it's hard, and I know it will be, but that's okay. That's what you wanted to tell me, right? That I'll be okay?"

Del moved forward, intangible hand reaching out to his brother’s shoulder. Even if Del was a ghost, Elias could swear he still felt the large, heavy hand of his younger brother on his shoulder.

“You’re not alone.” Del said, in just mind. “You never are. You can survive in a world without me. Multiple worlds without me. I’m part of you but you’re your own person without me.”

“I know.” Elias said. “And I have finally begun to believe that about myself.”

Del’s face widened in a large smile. “Finally, you understand!” He flickered, just a bit, reminding them that this was temporary. “Keep taking care of everyone, okay? It seems like the family continues to grow.” 

“I will.” Elias promised. 

Del cocked his head. “I know you have questions that you won’t say.”

“It’s just… that…” Elias flushed. “Do you know what happened? To Meeko and Gideon- I mean, all of the others.”

Another teasing Del grin. “Perhaps.”

“ Del!” Elias whined as his figure flickered again. A lothwolf howled outside.

“Let’s just say they all found who they were looking for.”

“One last thing!” Elias begged. “The Lothwolf, that visits the children sometimes. The one with the green eyes- is it… yours somehow?”

Del winked, and then he was gone.

_____________________

A few months later, everyone welcomed baby Yoru, another little girl for their growing family. 

From the moment she was born, Elias knew she was going to be just like Chaol. The baby stared up at him when newborns should be sleeping for over twenty hours of the day.

And then Tylo fell.

It happened occasionally, his legs were still weak sometimes, but this was different- once he was down, he was out cold. And the first thing that went through Elias’s mind was the terrible truth.

Relapse.

Please, no .

But it was right. And this time, there was nothing he could do to stop it. Everyone knew it, although Isolde, especially, was in the most denial about losing her son. 

She didn’t mean anything by calling Tylo specifically “her son”. But Elias could tell Gideon was a tiny bit perturbed.

He helped with Yoru, mostly. Chaol would visit, toddling into the room on his chubby little unstable legs, claiming he was “talking” with the baby. Probably through the Force, if Elias had to guess.

But it calmed Yoru down. The cousins had a bond, clearly.

Fevers were the worst for Tylo. The longer the time his fever was high, the more likely it might be the thing that would kill him.

Those were the moments that Elias stayed with him, monitoring his medications and also just being there for Isolde or Hanan or whoever was there for Tylo.

“I don’t understand, Elias. He said he was better. He has a kid. Why can’t you save him this time?” Hanan asked, sounding a bit whiny but Elias excused it. 

“It was honestly a miracle that I even saved him the first time.” Elias admitted. “Medicine can only do so much, it can’t always save someone who’s dying.”

“I’m just tired of seeing Tylo in pain.” Hanan said, frowning.

“I know, we all are.” But I don't like the other option.

“When can I go back to Tay and Yoru?” Tylo murmured, barely audible. 

“Not right now, Tylo.” Elias said. “Your immune system is too weak for that much excitement.”

“Is that why I have to wear this stupid mask?” Tylo breathed a deep breath and the mask moved with it.

“We all have to wear the masks, now.” Elias reminded gently, knowing Tylo’s frustration wasn’t accusing anyone, rather just not knowing how to process emotions.

“Mama?” Tylo asked, turning to Isolde. 

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can we go to Kaiyo? I can’t remember it very well.” 

“I’m sure we can soon.” Isolde smiled and instinctively combed Tylo’s thinning hair, her fingers pulling out a tuft by accident. She immediately called Gideon to see how soon they’d be able to arrive. He said a day after this last delivery.

“I want Yoru to see the cherry blossoms.” Tylo murmured. “Tay, too. They’d love that. It’ll make for some good holos…”

He drifted off to sleep. 

Isolde left Hanan in charge so she could go eat, she hadn’t for the whole day and Elias and Gideon both worried . Elias milled about the whole medbay, cleaning and reorganizing. No one ever needs this place anymore, except for Gideon’s occasional stim shots.

When he turned his head for a second and back to Tylo, he saw Hanan had crawled all the way into bed with him, holding him close. Elias didn’t have the heart to scold them anymore, Tylo needed all the comfort he could get, and Hanan helped his feverish chills as the medicine did its work.

______________________

Elias woke with a start when his commlink beeped loudly. He was ready, he slept in his clothes for an occasion like this.

“Elias, come quick-“

But he was already out the door, Gideon not far behind.

“His oxygen rates and pulse suddenly fell, and I think he’s going into v-fib.”

“His liver’s finally shot, so’s his heart.” 

Tylo’s poor organs had been hanging on for so long as they slowly lost the battle to the invading cancer.

“So what are you doing?!” Hanan was screaming. “Do CPR or something! Save him!”

“He told us not to, Hanan.” Isolde said, calmly. “His body’s finally ready to let go.”

“But I’m not!” 

Gideon calmly held his second oldest, who had been so strong for all of them up until this point, who wasn’t ready to lose their brother, just like Elias hadn’t been ready…

Hanan cried as no one else would while they said goodbye, and Elias turned off the machines and gave Tylo something to make passing less painful. No one needed to hear the frantic beeps. They would have driven Tylo crazy. 

Gideon told Tylo how proud of him he was. Isolde told him how Tylo was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. Hanan was able to stop crying enough to tell their brother that he was his best friend. 

And Elias was able to thank him for everything Tylo had taught him. From patience, to understanding. To acceptance. 

They were just two hours from Kaiyo when Tylo’s heart stopped and Yoru began to scream.

______________________

Elias sat at the bottom of the ramp. The Lothwolf was now officially named Datya, but affectionately known as Wolfie and no one really knew why, but it annoyed the heck out of Iden and the wolf seemed to laugh and wag his tail anytime he saw her upset.

The boys, Whil and Eliot were playing catch not far from the ship, slowly reaching that age where Eliot was looking more like a Meeko each day, with his long limbs and lanky body. Elias just prayed that he didn’t share the bad Meeko genes for his heart. Whil was the opposite: pure Hask with strong arms, strong legs, but blessedly close to his brother’s height.

Now Chaol was at the age where he could fit into his cousin’s hand me downs, and right now he had on the blue bomber jacket that “uncle Hask” had given Whil. He sat on one side of Elias, knees pulled up to his chest with his head resting on them. Clearly, he was deep in thought.

In Elias’s lap was Yoru, two years old and eerily silent as well on this particular day. 

It had been a few days since Tylo passed away. No one expected it, since he was declared cancer free right before Yoru was born, but the cancer had come back, and the relapse had been swift. 

Elias thought it would be nearly impossible to let go of Tylo, the son he had raised for nearly twenty-five years through all stages of life. But seeing Tylo live on through his daughter was an encouragement Elias didn’t know he needed. 

“You miss him, Yoru?” Elias asked, and the baby babbled, reaching for where Datya sat. He flicked one of his furry ears and thumped his tail on the ground once, nudging Chaol’s hands with his nose.

Come play, son! You used to be so into that! It’s only been a few years.

"No, wolfie," he said, although he patted his head softly. "I don't wanna play now." Datya whined and lay down in front of him, keeping his snout in light contact with Chaol’s legs. 

I miss him too, kiddo. You felt it when it happened, didn't you? Chaol nodded, understanding through the Force what Datya meant. He’s happy now. He’s not hurting anymore. 

Chaol reached out and ran his hands over Datya’s fur, as lost in thought as a child could be. “Why can’t I see him? I see you, when you’re not Wolfie.” He was too little to understand such a topic, and explaining the concept to a youngling when Del never truly grasped the idea wasn’t easy. “Where is he? Doesn’t he want to see us?”

Datya sighed, breath tickling the child’s legs. Tylo wasn’t like us, kiddo. He isn’t here anymore. He still loves us, he just…can’t visit us. When you’re older maybe Luke can tell you more. He knows about this kind of thing. 

“But I want to know now!” Although his dark eyes held a sense of knowledge too intense for his age, he still expressed himself like the three year old he was. “I want to see him too,” he pouted. Datya had no response, having already said all he could. He nuzzled against Chaol, calming the boy as best he could. He’s okay now. That’s all that matters right now. We’re gonna be okay too. 

“We are?” Datya could see that he still didn’t understand, and that the second he took his eyes off him he’d go running off to ask his mama if he could talk to Luke. 

Datya’s tail flicked again before curling around Chaol, trying to keep him seated for the moment. Yes, we are. You wanna know how I know that? 

That got his attention. Chaol was at the age where he loved surprises, so he leaned in close, although he couldn’t physically hear what Datya was saying. Taking advantage of the playful energy, Datya licked Chaol’s forehead quickly, making him giggle.

Because we have each other! Me, you, your mama, Elias, Gideon, Isolde, your sisters, your cousins, all of us. As long as we’re together, I know we can get through anything. 

At that moment, a single cherry blossom drifted on the wind, landing right at Chaol’s feet. He picked it up, admiring the soft pastel color. Yoru stretched her tiny arms towards the flower, squealing excitedly. “Dada!” She exclaimed as she took the blossom in her hands. 

Elias looked down at the baby and smiled, pulling Chaol close with his other arm. “Everything is gonna be okay.”