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Useless. Worthless. Unmarriageable.
The three most common words that Bernadetta’s dad used repeated in her head. She took a large sigh and laid on her bed in defeat, the war was over, they had won, but she still never accomplished the one thing her dad wanted the most for her: marriage and the most important part of marriage, a husband. So, maybe he was right, maybe she was worthless.
Knock… Knock… Knock .
A series of rasps came from outside the door. Bernadetta let out a small groan, who could possibly be here right now. A celebratory feast was going on to help aid the pain of war and Bernadetta hoped that meant she would have a moment alone. For a moment, she debated not answering the door, but then slowly got up dragging her feet across the ground with each step. The sound of her feet against the floor stopped as she opened a small crack in the door.
“Hello, Bernadetta.” Yuri smiled gracefully, leaning against the door frame.
“Hello… Do you need something?” Bernadetta asked through the crack of the door.
“Am I not allowed to visit my first and favourite friend?” He countered with a smirk.
“Well… I guess.”
“So, can I come in?” Yuri pushed his hand against the door, as Bernadetta slowly moved back to let him in.
“I mean I don’t have a reason to stop you,” Bernadetta said under her breath as Yuri walked past her into the room.
“Where should I sit?” Yuri asked, scanning the room for a place to rest his feet.
Bernadetta walked across the room and pulled the chair from her desk near her bed, flopping back down on her back, just staring at the ceiling as Yuri didn’t move. “Well, are you going to sit?” She asked, gesturing to the chair.
Bernadetta saw that Yuri let out a small laugh before swiftly taking his seat. The two sat in silence for a moment, Yuri admiring his nails and Bernadetta gazing into the abyss of the ceiling.
“So, what are your plans now that the war is over?” Bernadetta asked from the bed, the words of her father still circling in her mind.
“Why do you ask?” Yuri inquired.
“Just wondering,” Bernadetta replied with a shrug.
“I guess... I will go back to being a thief, taking jobs and contracts that benefit me. That's all I really know how to do.” He shrugged.
“Oh.” This was all that Bernadetta could think to say in response. At least Yuri had some type of plan, if only Bernadetta had a plan for herself. Thanks to this exchange the air in the room grew stale and the silence from before crept back in.
“Do you plan on telling me why you are really here?” Bernadetta asked, once again trying to fill the awkward silence.
“Ah, you caught me,” Yuri said, putting his hands up in defeat, “I came because, even though you are shy, you are not one to miss post-war celebrations, especially when there is free food involved. So, what’s going on, Bernadetta? Why are you not down at the feast with everyone else?”
“I’ve just been thinking about what I want to do now that war is over…”
“Don’t you have a whole territory to rule over?”
“I suppose… but you know I’m not good with people.”
“Yes, but so much more goes into ruling a territory than just talking to people. You can still do plenty of work behind closed doors, and don’t tell me that you can’t when I know for a fact you have always been one of the smartest students from our class back when we were actually in the academy.”
“But that’s not the only reason that I am worried.”
“Then what is the real reason that you are so scared to go back home?”
“Because… I’m useless and unlovable.” Bernadetta blurted out, finally releasing the thoughts that she had been keeping to herself all this time.
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down there. That has nothing to do with you going back home. So, what are you talking about?”
“Well, you remember my father, right?”
Bernadetta watched as Yuri shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I remember… regretfully.”
“Well, my entire life he raised me to be this perfect, submissive wife. Every day I trained for the role, but I hated every moment of it. I should be married right now, yet here I am, I have lived through school and war and yet no one even seems to think I exist off the battlefield. Not that I mind too much, I do enjoy keeping to myself, but I feel that I failed at the one thing I was raised to do.”
“Well first off, you were not born to be someone's submissive wife. That was forced on you by your dad. Second, I think if someone did have feelings for you then you wouldn’t know unless they came right out and told you.”
“Are you calling me oblivious?”
“Well, I’m not… not calling you oblivious.”
UGHH .
Bernadetta let out a disgruntled sound as she covered her face with her hands. “Well, then how do you know?”
“Know what?” Yuri asked, confused by Bernadetta’s sudden question.
“How do you know if someone… likes you?”
“How do I know someone finds me attractive? Well normally people in my line of work are a lot more… let's say, open about their feelings.”
“In your line of work? What is that supposed to mean?”
“Let's just say I have done some things I regret in order to get what I want, even if that means putting my, uh, purity on the line,” Yuri stated with hesitation.
“I still don’t want to go back to my territory as a lonely girl who can’t even find a husband. I would be better off dead in my father’s eyes,” Bernadetta said quickly, noticing the look of pain upon Yuri’s face as memories of the past replayed in his head like a broken record.
“Who cares what your father thinks?”
“I hate to say I do, but I am the one who has to return to my territory and face him now that the war is over. It's the only place I have to go. It's the only place I can call home.”
“At least you have a home to return to.” Yuri’s eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“Yuri, please don’t be like that.” Bernadetta pinched the bridge of her nose. “You know no matter where you go, someone will take you off the streets. Half the girls at the academy swoon when you walked past, you could easily follow any of them back home and they would happily invite you to stay.”
“I’m sick of being treated like a lowly street whore when I am looking for a place to stay. I am tired of using my body to pay for the price of someone's kindness.” Yuri crossed his arms. Bernadetta knew this was a sore spot for Yuri, something he very rarely talked about but something that haunted him nonetheless. “I either want a place to stay with someone I know actually cares about me or I rather just live on my own.”
“Well, you are always welcome to come back to Varley territory with me.”
“Ha.” Yuri let out a dry chuckle. “And how do you think your father would react to the man who almost murdered you following you home.”
“To quote what you said, who cares what he thinks?”
“Touche,” Yuri replied as his chuckle became more genuine.
“I just wish I could bring home someone who generally cares about me, then I could give my father some slice of hope that, maybe, I can be the daughter he actually wanted.” Bernadetta’s body slumped.
“Well I care about you, and if I come home with you, then the problem will be solved.”
“Yuri, you know what I mean, someone who cares about me… romantically.”
“Harsh,” Yuri said with a sad face, covering his heart with his hand.
“What is that supposed to mean, Yuri?”
“You know what I’m trying to say.” Yuri's voice grew in volume, as if he was conveying the feeling that he had never been shy about hiding- one that Bernadetta was not privy to.
“I obviously don’t if I have to ask.”
“Bernadetta,” he said, placing his hands on either side of her face. Bernadetta was unable to bring herself to look away. “Have you ever considered that maybe… I care about you romantically?”
“You? What? W-what do you mean? Don’t play with my feelings like that, Yuri!”
“I’m not playing with your feelings, Bernadetta. I have cared about you since we were children and I thought I would never see you again. When I saw you here at the academy, what can I say, I fell in love with you all over again. I didn’t care about what your father did to me, or if you hated me. All I know is that I care about you and I would continue to care about you until the day that I die. Whether that be at the end of someone's blade or of old age. You never would have slipped my mind. Bernadetta, I love you, I just wish you could see that.
”I have been trying to tell you that since the moment we first talked in Garreg Mach, but you ran away from me and I thought it was because you hated me. Then, when you told me you didn’t hate me, well I just assumed you didn’t feel the same way, you have never expressed it, but I guess neither have I, but the war is over now and I’m done waiting. I do not want to lose you a second time. I would follow you to the ends of the earth, Bernadetta, if only you would have me.” Yuri took a deep breath, releasing Bernadetta’s face. She could see that the reality of what he had just done was setting in.
Bernadetta quickly jumped up once she realised what was happening. Yuri quickly turned to the door, taking abnormally fast strides to reach it as soon as possible but Bernadetta’s head was spinning in reaction to the sudden movement, but she had to reach Yuri. She had to tell him how she felt, she couldn’t let him leave. “Yuri!” She yelled as she quickly grabbed his hand, the force spinning him around to face her. “P-Please… don’t… leave…” Each word caught in her throat, as tears grew in her eyes.
“Oh, Bernadetta.” He gasped. Her delicate frame was hugged, her hand used to draw her in closer. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have forced my feelings on you. I will always continue to be your friend, if that's what you are worried about.”
“Just, shut up!” She yelled through her tears as she wrapped her arms around Yuri in response to his hug. “I, well… I love you too, Yuri. I loved you when we were children and I love you now. I don’t care what my dad or anyone else thinks, I have always just wanted to love you.” Her sentence became muffled towards the end as she pressed her face into Yuri’s chest, the cloth of his top dried her tears as she was held tight like he never wanted to let her go. After a moment, the pair separated, standing in silence as they focused on the room around them, both not sure how to make the next move.
Bernadetta stepped forward, slowly, but surely, finding the confidence she never knew she had until this moment. She saw Yuri was still admiring the wall, she didn't know what he was thinking behind that confused look. Bernadetta used every bit of courage inside of her to place her hand on Yuri’s face, smiling with pure glee. Then, she slowly traced the scar on Yuri’s face with her thumb, before leaning forward and placing a line of small kisses across his scar, before returning backing away, slightly embarrassed by her act of affection.
“What are you doing, Bernadetta?” Yuri asked, his body becoming tense from her blatant sign of affection. She knew he was used to people giving him affection, but this was the first time he was receiving affection from someone who cared about him as more than an object of lust?
“I’m kissing the scar I gave you all those years ago with the gardening shears. I know I caused you pain then, but it also reminds me of all the good times we had together as kids.”
In response to her kind words, Bernadetta felt all of the muscles in Yuri’s body relax. “You are the one thing in my life I would never change. I don’t care that it took us going through some horrible tragedies to get here, but I am happy to be here with you.” Yuri smiled, moving in closer to Bernadetta. She felt one of his hands make its home on the small of her back, creating enough pressure that their bodies pressed together in one quick motion.
Bernadetta couldn’t help but let out a small gasp in response to the sudden closeness. Her chin was gently raised by Yuri’s other hand to an angle where the tips of their noses met as he tilted his head ever so slightly. They slowly drew closer to one another.
Inch by inch the tension between them grew, before Yuri’s lips met Bernadetta’s in what could only be described as a kiss of passion. A kiss that had been taken years in the making. A kiss that created crescendos in their heads. They both wanted nothing more than for this moment to last forever, but before they knew it, their bodies separated on their own, working to pull air back in their lungs as the silence of the room was quickly filled with the sound of their breathes intermingling with one another.
“Never leave me again.” Bernadetta’s voice pleaded with Yuri.
“Never run away from me again,” Yuri teased with equal longing.
“I promise,” Bernadetta said, raising her pinky finger in front of Yuri’s face.
“Then, I promise as well.” He smiled, Bernadetta’s pinky wrapped with Yuri’s, sealing their promise to one another. “Well, I guess now I have to accompany you back to Varley territory and now I wouldn’t need my own room.” He added with a triumphant smirk.
“Great! I guess... that means you won’t have to go back to being alone,“ Bernadetta smiled, “but that also means you can be the one to deal with my father. I-if that’s what you want.” Bernadetta responded with a chuckle.
“You better be lucky that I would do anything for you.” Yuri rebuttaled placing a kiss on the tip of Bernadetta’s nose. “I love you, Bernadetta von Varley.”
“I love you too,” Bernadetta said with a smile before adding, “So, do you want to get to that free feast now?”
“I'd rather just spend some more time with you.” Yuri winked.