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Izuku opened his eyes lazily to the morning sun. The day was smiling at him with an open sky and birds chirping from the half open window. He would’ve felt so warm and embraced if not for the cold side of their king sized bed with the empty half.
He was 21 years old with a decent job at an advertisement company. Having achieved a lot with his boyfriend Shouto Todoroki, who was a few statues higher than him in the same agency, he wouldn’t be wrong to phrase his life was less than undesirable. They had met in high school and thanks to Todoroki’s father and his connections with their academic successes they had their occupations easy enough to afford an apartment soon enough.
They started dating in their second year and had been the example couple for most of the students that were admiring and sometimes that got jealous of them. Never had Izuku felt more loved and wanted in his life other the motherly love Inko Midoriya has shown him. They went to dates and shared their interests with each other. They talked and listened and loved and laughed. They kissed and hugged and made love. Now they were 21.
And Shouto was gone.
Every morning, Izuku would wake up to a very empty other half of bed. It had been a few weeks now and he was trying not to make this effect his life but it was. It wasn’t that they broke up or had a fight, other than the ones that started at around a few weeks ago nearly every day.
It used to be sweet touches and even sweeter words that showered Izuku before they fulfilled their desires towards each other. Now all Izuku heard was how bored Shouto was of him talking, walking, working, sometimes even breathing. Izuku couldn’t understand it for the life of him but he tried to annoy his beloved less nonetheless, trying to walk around the bush. “He must be going through some rough times.” he thought, knowing his bitter past with his family, the loss of his brother and the condition of his mother. The problem was, those rough times still hasn’t ended thus far.
Every night, Izuku would try to approach the man with patience and love, pity, too, sometimes. Shouto never did less than a grunt and turning his face away from Izuku’s kisses and pushing the man away from a hug. Izuku cried for days the first few times but now he just felt numb to the feeling. He was numb of getting rejected and disliked. He wasn’t a stranger to the feeling after all.
Last night’s fight was about how Izuku got sick in the middle of spring and his coughs were sabotaging Shouto’s work. Izuku apologized without a fight, hoping to get away from it by leaving the room and taking another coughing pill but to no avail. Shouto followed him to the kitchen area shortly, shouting out about how he was always ignored and how Izuku didn’t even care about what’s good for Shouto’s future.
“You are the most selfish person I’ve ever known, Izuku! You might even race my father on this-”
“Think twice before you say something regretful, Shouto. You might add another crack to my heart, if you care.”
Shouto froze on his words and fisted his hands on his sides, face scrunched up in anger whereas Izuku’s was expressionless and eyes hurt. Shouto walked pass him, knocking his shoulder on the way and grabbing his jacket with his keys and before he slammed the door close behind him he hissed.
“I wish I never asked you out in the first place. God knows how much I hate you.”
And just like that, he was gone.
Izuku stood there in the silence of their apartment for a while, his stupid eyes burning and tearing, as if he wasn’t used to these words already. As if he didn’t hear the exact same sentences for the fourth time this week.
He went to the cabinet in autopilot and opened it to grab a tequila bottle with the largest glass he could see. You see, he also didn’t have a drinking habit until a few weeks ago.
He opened the cap and filled the glass to the brim. The downed it in ten seconds and before he knew it, he was filling it again. He didn’t even get drunk anymore, what a flex huh?
That’s how he remembered the night was spent and then he barely managed to drag himself to the bedroom, puffing out both his and Shouto’s pillows and warming the bed for his boyfriend lest he came home, came back to Izuku’s arms.
He didn’t though, the other side of the bed was cold even for a warm spring morning. He was so used to be woken up by morning kisses and breakfast-in-bed’s that he felt the phantom pressure of a kiss to his right cheek, right on his freckles.
He wiped the stupid tear away from his eye and got up. He had to meet up with Kacchan today. His childhood friend turned bully turned best friend that he now trusted more than himself. He was working as a scientist in Tokyo but he came to where Izuku lived oftentimes, never missing the opportunity to hang out for at least a few hours until they parted. It was heartwarming because the man could do anything other than killing time with Izuku: seeing his family, go sightseeing, hangout with other guys more often rather than very few weeks and etc. but most of the time, he was with Izuku. They sometimes would just go to the near beach and skip rocks for hours, as 21 year old respective adults. It was silly but also endearing.
Katsuki was helping him a lot through this… period of Shouto and his relationship, if it was even called one anymore. Katsuki was the only person who was aware of it, the only person Izuku let know. The very man he cried on the shoulders of for days and the man who soothed him until his hiccups went away.
He got up from the bed, not bothering to tidy it because he knew Shouto was gone for days after last night’s fight and he was the one who was obsessed with organizing. Izuku lacked the fucks to give whether the house was presentable or not, proven by the bottles from last night that were lined up on the table in their living room.
He washed his face and tried, key word: tried, to brush his unruly hair a bit which was slightly dirty but it was Kacchan he was meeting with who’s seen him in way worse situations so it was fine. He put on a white t-shirt and pulled a dark blue shirt on with black jeans and red shoes. He didn’t feel like eating so he skipped the nth breakfast of the month and left the house.
He was still an hour away from their arranged meeting time so he decided to have a beer waiting for Katsuki. The bartender of the bar they always met in looked worriedly at him since it was only 9 am and super early for a drink but Izuku swatted his hands away saying he just had a weird morning and smiled on of his happy-go smiles to convince the lady. He was on his fourth glass when Katsuki showed up, half an hour early.
“Hey there, drunkard. I was looking for a rather innocent nerd than an alcoholic bush, have you seen him?”
Izuku looked up to see the man in a casual dark red shirt and blue ripped jeans with white shoes and a sunglasses on top of his head. He looked like a supermodel rather than a nerdy scientist.
“Hi Kacchan. You’re early.”
“I should be the one to deliver that line, dumbass. It’s nine thirty for fuck’s sake, Deku, on what glass are you?”
“Uhm… first?”
The bartender rolled her eyes and sighed.
“He just asked for the fifth glass, Bakugou. Take him away from the bar and to the tables where he can’t reach out to one every five minutes.”
Katsuki’s eyes widened in horror and disapproval as he hooked an arm to Izuku’s left arm and dragged him outside, slamming the fee on the table generously. The sun was now too bright, gosh.
“What the hell are you thinking, Deku?! You wanna die that badly? Who in their right mind would- Did you even have a breakfast?”
“Y-yes?”
“Yeah, next time at least try to be believable. What is wrong with you?”
Izuku’s sheepish smile faded slowly as the first traitorous sob escaped his wobbling lips. Soon, it was followed by an all-out crying his eyes out session and Katsuki, upon witnessing his breakdown, held him close to his chest to a warm embrace, slowly moving his hand in soothing circles on his back. A few people were looking at their way and Katsuki sneered to all of them, making them face away from Izuku’s vulnerable form. He whispered sweet nothings and encouraging words to his ear until the man stopped shaking with each sob and took him to his car, driving to the nearby hiding spot they found a year ago.
It was near the artificial forest the government built three years ago and upon getting lost in it last year, they found a place that was away from the people and perfect for just hanging out in peace if they felt like a solitude.
Izuku softly sobbed the entire ride, eyes out the window and trusting Katsuki to take care of him for which Katsuki felt his pride swell and pour out of him.
Because that was his dirty little secret now, wasn’t it?
He was in love with Izuku Midoriya.
He realized it in their second year of high school that they went together, sitting back to back no less and he was too much of a pussy to take the first step so when he finally gathered enough courage to ask him out he saw it. He saw the half and half bastard kissing Izuku “in secret” in one of the less used corridors. Katsuki gave the flower he picked for Izuku to Kayama Sensei and swallowed his emotions up. The boy was happy, smiling brighter than he ever did with anyone else so who was Katsuki to ruin that? Instead he apologized from the boy thoroughly and made sure he was happy every step of the way.
He spent any available time he had with Izuku because the boy seemed to like their times together and Katsuki just couldn’t help but feel selfish to want to keep the boy close to him. Maybe not as a lover now but as his best friend, as his greatest support.
He knew Todoroki and Izuku had a relationship you could envy of for four long years. For four years, Katsuki died on the inside knowing there was someone who made Izuku happier and feel loved. There was someone that touched Deku in the ways he could never, hold Deku like he couldn’t dare.
Until there wasn’t.
Katsuki didn’t enjoy the love of his life wasting away right in front of his eyes and having the man crying in his arms every time they met instead of losing himself in laughter. Katsuki didn’t enjoy the dark circles and eye bags around emerald greens that once screamed of life but now was dull of any light. He didn’t like the way Izuku became addicted to the alcohol that once he despised of. He hated how he checked in with the boy enough to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid because he couldn’t vanish the problem that was fucking Shouto Todoroki away.
Because the nerd was still in love with him regardless.
Todoroki’s logic was rotten and his words were harsher than a slap to face even when Izuku talked about them nicer than what was originally said. Katsuki tried to go give the man a piece of his mind more than once but Izuku stopped him with tears in his eyes saying the man was just going through a phase and they’ll be alright.
Katsuki wasn’t buying it.
So he stalked the man, trying to actually reason with him for Izuku and what he found was…
That was why he wanted to meet today. He had to save Izuku from this hypocrite bastard.
They arrived at the forest and walked in silence, Izuku slightly leaning over to his space and Katsuki throwing an arm around his shoulder, keeping the drunk man upright even though he knew a few beers were less than a quarter of Izuku’s limit.
They sat down to the root of an overgrown tree they loved to play cards at and Katsuki let Izuku when he scooted over until he could lay down and put his head on Katsuki’s leg. Katsuki’s heart clenched and beat faster as to how cute he looked from up above. He had to focus though he had an extremely sad nerd to save at hand after all.
“Do you wanna talk about what the bastard did to you this time?”
“It’s the same stuff, can we just enjoy the moment?”
“What do you mean ‘the usual stuff’, Deku? How much more are you going to go along with his shitty antics?”
“I-It’s just a phase-”
“’Phase’ my ass, Izuku! You can’t do this to yourself anymore! Have you looked at that face of yours lately? Are you going to just all those circles by the end of this holy ‘phase’?”
“What the fuck do you suggest me doing, Kacchan, huh?”
“Just leave him!”
“I can’t! He- I can’t!”
Katsuki ruffled his hair with frustration as to not lose his cool anymore and hurt Izuku. Then he sighed when he heard soft sniffs coming beneath him. He was done with this, no more of this deadends.
It was the day.
“Apparently he can.”
Izuku stopped his sniffs and sobs. Katsuki thought he even stopped breathing. Then Izuku stood up carefully, eyes frantic and a horrified expression on his face.
His lips and voice was shaking as he spoke.
“W-What do you m-mean?”
Katsuki avoided his eyes as he closed them and swallowed thickly before he turned his face fully to Izuku and holding his hands. Izuku looked at where their hands connected shocked but didn’t pull away. He focused on Katsuki’s face instead, waiting for an explanation.
“I saw it from a friend of mine back at the lab that’s close friends to this… girl. He was showing me the girl’s boyfriend and… Izuku I’m sorry. There’s hardly any way that I could confuse him with someone else-”
“No....”
Izuku’s hands began to retreat from Katsuki’s grasp and he let it happen. Whatever happened from now on was Izuku’s decision to make only, he did what he had to do as his friend.
Izuku shook his head and tears were falling free of his eyes now. Izuku seemed to do that more often lately, not even realizing when he was shedding silent tears. Katsuki wanted to wipe them away, to kiss the freckled cheeks clean of any droplet of pain he was letting out but he couldn’t. Izuku had to have a moment.
“Kacchan wouldn’t lie to me. Kacchan would never. So that means… all this time… For how long?”
“Three months is what my friend said but… I don’t know if it checks out. Look, Izuku, I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t be, Kacchan. You’re not the one to apologize. I should be down on my knees, begging for your forgiveness since I’ve been troubling you and myself for such a scumbag! Such… Such a s-scumbag that can’t e-even break up properly a-and- and-”
Izuku’s breath was coming short as he hyperventilated and shook with the force of his sobs that couldn’t stop from coming. Katsuki couldn’t stop himself from taking the man’s fragile frame in his arms and holding him. If not for him then for Katsuki himself. he felt like a villain but he knew he was doing Izuku a favor. He was ending his weeks long misery that was caused by a one sided love.
Izuku held him back like if he let go for even a second than his broken wolrd would just fall apart in pieces, like Katsuki is the only one that could pull him together as long as he didn’t let go.
“I loved him! I-I t-thought I was cared about, f-for the first fu-fucking time in m-my life- I felt- someone- And he ruined everything for me! I hate it that I can’t even hate him properly! W-what do I d-do, Kacchan? What wo-would I do?”
Katsuki didn’t know when he also started to cry but he was now leaving wet spots on Izuku’s dark blue shirt that Katsuki bought him for his first job interview.
He didn’t know what came into him, he also didn’t know if he was on his right mind he would dtill go for what he did next.
He pulled the man away from his chest and held his chin gently before he put the softest and gentlest of kisses on bitten red lips. He let his lips linger on Izuku’s a second longer before he pulled back in shock and horror of accidentally ruining the friendship he just got back and worked years on.
He was about to apologize bowing down and leaving as to not disturb the man further when the said freckled man hooked his hands on his neck and shyly dived in for a shy kiss.
Katsuki froze. Izuku Midoriya, his four years long crush, was kissing him on the lips. He was too stunned that he couldn’t even reciprocate the kiss until after Izuku pinched his brows in panic that Katsuki lived a few seconds prior. They didn’t go further than lips on lips slowly moving and leaving small kisses.
Then they parted, looking directly into each other’s eyes. Izuku was uncertain, afraid, vulnerable and Katsuki hated himself for taking advantage of him in such a weak form but he could always wait until Izuku decided what to give this kiss a meaning as.
Still, he felt like he had to speak his truth.
“He never deserved you, Izuku and he’s nothing less than a bastard to give you so much hope only to half ass this relationship you two built together, not even managing a proper… break up.”
Izuku let another drop fall and Katsuki dared holding the man’s hands again, eyes glued to emerald orbs.
“I can… I can be a better boyfriend than him to you. Heck, I can be the best! I-I have been in love with you for four years, Izuku. I was going to tell you that day but then I saw you kissing him and… All I knew was that I wanted to stay by you regardless and make you happy in any way possible. You don’t have to accept these… feelings I have for you but please think about it once your mind is in the clear and- Let me be the man you fucking deserve! Let me try and make you the happiest person alive!”
Katsuki closed his eyes and he could feel his whole body trembling, teeth clenched as he waited for the hands to retreat, for a slap to his cheek or maybe a punch even.
None came.
What he had instead was a wet feeling on his right cheek.
He opened his eyes to see the first genuine smile Izuku gave him in eleven weeks. The first real smile since what felt like fucking forever.
Wait, did that mean-
“You’re so r-red Kacchan. And what’s up with the tremble? I thought my b-boyfriend would be fearless.”
Katsuki’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He didn’t think twice before he kissed the boy gently but passionately with all the emotions he reserved in years. He couldn’t stop his giggles from escaping his mouth as his tears and it took him a while since he realized half of the giggles were didn’t belong to him.
He pulled back and looked into his favorite shade of green with longing and… love. He could finally declare his feelings out and he didn’t even have to say any words. Izuku and he knew each other so well that Izuku just softly nodded before they hugged and enjoyed each other’s giggles.
“So, we’re d-dating now?”
“Hmm, I guess so.”
“What about-”
“He didn’t ask me when he wanted a new girlfriend so I couldn’t care less of letting him know, Kacchan, honestly.”
Katsuki smiled proudly now that he made it. He wasn’t happy about causing a break up to have the man he loved for himself, maybe a little, but he was more happy about giving Izuku a smile back and promising him with a lifelong more.
“I love you so much, Izuku.”
“I can see it in your eyes Kacchan. I always mistook it for our repaired friendship. I’m so sorry for being so blind. It must’ve hurt to… you know, seeing me with him.”
“It did but if he was the one to make you happy, I would gladly be with you and witness it forever, knowing it’s killing me slowly.”
Izuku looked up and put another chaste kiss on his lips. Then he blushed pink before speaking.
“I… I think I love you, too. All this time, whenever I felt hurt or happy, it was you whom I wanted to share it with even before everything went south with S-Shouto. I thought it was because we’re best friends but I can see it was more than that now. I can decrypt the feeling of butterflies in my belly whenever I saw you and mistaken it for happiness.”
Izuku avoided his eyes, a sour face now that Izuku hated to see on Izuku.
“It’s true I loved Shouto and truth be told I still do, a little bit. I can’t just erase him from my memories and my heart but h chose his own way and… and I want to be happy, too. We had our time with him and I’ll try to remember the good times but I don’t think neither of us feel the same way we used to do anymore.”
Katsuki looked at him, listening to every word seriously. He nodded respectfully and speaking.
“This isn’t a dream right?”
Izuku laughed wholeheartedly, a hand on his stomach because Katsuki said this with a most shocked face like he was just struck with lightning.
“W-Why are you laughing?!”
“Oh my god, Kacchan! N-no, it’s real, silly. Hahaha!”
Katsuki looked at his smiling face that he fucking missed so damn much. He put his on smiley face on for his favorite nerd and watched him just laugh and giggle uncontrollably. Izuku looked at him with a warm smile when he realized that.
“W-What? Something on my face?”
“God, you’re beautiful when you laugh, Deku. Please don’t ever stop smiling, ok?”
Izuku leaned in and kissed him before pulling away to whisper to his lips.
“Only if you promise not to leave.”