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Eugene did not see his day going like this.
Okay, maybe let’s rewind a little…
When Rapunzel woke him up in the late hours of night with the news of Pascal missing, he admittedly, could not care less. Could you blame him? The sun wasn’t even up yet- and if the sun’s not up, neither is he.
But of course, he got up anyway (he wasn’t sure if there was a choice from the look on Rapunzel’s face) and before he knew it, the trio was riding into the forest for some reason.
“Where are we going?!” Cassandra’s voice was raised, enough to be heard over the loud steps of the horses.
Good question, Eugene thought to himself faintly. He looked at Cass, visibly unsure and confused. The man was tired, okay?
“The tower!”
No longer tired, Eugene was wide awake. He felt his heart in his throat.
He didn’t think. “The tower?- The TOWER tower?!”
He stared at the back of Rapunzel’s head, barely registering anything as he continued. His mind was racing too fast and he couldn’t catch his thoughts.
“Okay, we really need to start voting on decisions like these.”
He couldn’t tell if the sudden lightheadedness was from lack of sleep, breathing, or water. Maybe a mix of all three? He was waken up pretty early, after all.. not to mention how they were on horses, rapidly approaching the.. uh.. wow, is it just me or are the trees suddenly super interesting to study?
Eugene anxiously watched as the blurs of green sped by, before giving up and staring back into the back of Rapunzel’s head. There was no denying it- he was scared.
But that’s stupid! That’s ridiculous, he thought to himself. You weren’t the one trapped and abused there, you’re not the one that was murdered or anyone who has far better reasons to be afraid.
Well, he was murdered there. But he was revived, so he shouldn’t feel this much dread.
He kept his mouth shut as the wind shoved against his face. It was almost inviting, to let it push him off and as far away from that wretched place as possible. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Rapunzel needed to find Pascal, and what excuse would he have anyway? ‘Oh, sorry, I can’t stay even though we’re almost there because I died here, then was revived?’ That’s gotta be the weakest reasoning ever, compared to Rapunzel, who had it bad. And she’s even forcing herself to do this!!
Look at her. This is her moment. And she’s able to tackle her fear so much better than you. Suck it up and don’t ruin this. You’re in no position to show fear, not after how wonderfully Rapunzel is handling this.
Eugene briefly wondered if she was even bothered by it anymore. Of course, he knew that it did. But she appeared so determined and calm, while he was.. getting seriously messed up at the mere thought of being near that place. She went through so much worse there and is doing so much better here, what about him?
That’s right. He scolded himself in his head. There’s no reason to act like this. Just.. suck it up and everything is fine. Everything is going to be okay.
He suddenly jolted violently, catching himself and grabbing onto Rapunzel quickly, almost falling off the horse. “Whoops, sorry blondie!! Must’ve slipped.”
Nobody falls off a horse, only amatuers do!! He was Eugene Fitzherbert, the ideal, perfect man. He doesn’t make such mistakes so carefreely.
It’s not like he was absolutely terrified of dying. That would be the funniest, most hysterical thing anyone would consider. Eugene, afraid of death. The one who adopted the brand of the great Flynn Rider? Ha!!
He touched his fingers above his rib.
It was like he could still feel it.
The cold and unforgiving blade, sharp and horrible, digging into his soft flesh.
And before he knew it, the blade was no longer cold. It warmed, the red pulsing out in a long, continuous wave, bloodying his clothes, the floor, the knife.
He remembers how the tips of his fingers felt numb, and his body felt cold.
The numbing cold seemed to drain everything but the wound. His head felt dizzy and suddenly he was tired, able to process nothing but pain and Rapunzel.
I am going to die, he thought. This is it.
He remembers Rapunzel holding him in her lap. He remembers the way she sobbed, the way the blood stained her dress.
He remembers it all.
No matter how hard he tried to forget, the memory clung to his brain like a tumor. No matter how hard he scolded himself or distracted himself, no matter how hard he wished and willed, it just wouldn’t leave. It was like the blood seeping through and staining his head. Embedded deep inside, seeping in more and more until it’s at the root of it all, ruthless and bitter.
It all comes back to him all at once at any time.
Any reminder brings back all the pain and way the cool metal scraped against his bones, the way it plunged so far down and scarred so deep.
He could feel like cold metal on his skin, just waiting to pierce through again.
Maybe he was a bit afraid of death.
The ride to the tower was quieter than usual. No talking or chatting, no questions or comments. Just the pounding of the horses’ hooves and Eugene’s heart on his chest. He wonders if the other two can hear.
At last, they arrived at that damned place, sliding off the horse.
He stares, before hearing his partner’s gasp and flinch back. His gaze flickered down to Rapunzel and he held her. He felt like his heart was being tugged in all directions. He wanted nothing more than to protect her in that moment.
She needs this more than I do. Just put it all away. Not for another day, but for eternity.
He glances back up, memories of the incident flashing before his eyes.
A voice from behind broke the silence.
“Wow. So this is how it all happened.” He heard Cassandra walk forward.
Rapunzel started her response, but he didn’t hear her. He just watched her with blank eyes with too many thoughts going on behind them. He thought of all that Rapunzel had to endure. He thought of the fit he was throwing earlier over a stupid little overreaction, and that fueled him more than ever.
“Rapunzel, you don’t have to go up there alone.” There! He said it. No take-backsies.
“Yes, I do.”
Oh.
He didn’t even notice how hard he had been pressing his fingernails into his palm until he let go.
He didn’t want to notice the way he felt his insides untense, the cold metal withdraw from being just shy of impaling him.
“I owe it to Pascal.”
Eugene replied way too quickly, spoke too quickly.
“Oh, it’s probably better I stay down here.”
He looks over at Cass, smiling. “I have a strict rule about dying in the same place twice.” The latter simply glanced at him and walked away. He smiled still. He’s safe.
The tallest watched Rapunzel walk over to the entrance of the tower. That place has missed quite a few spring cleanings..
The princess looks over her shoulder at the two of them. He gave her a nod, and she smiled and stepped inside.
He was glad no speaking was needed. Not that he didn’t like Rapunzel- he loves her with all his life. But he didn’t think he could stand the thought of reliving that death again. The thoughts of the cold blade surfaced again before he quickly shook them away. The flashbacks, the memories, the.. trauma, being squashed down with the idea of it happening all over again in real life.
Though, what’s the difference?
He could still feel the memories. There’s a reason why Flynn Rider was so good at maneuvering his way out of tricky situations, and why Eugene Fitzherbert is so persistent to worm his way out of unnecessary confrontations with his old life.
Because just the idea, just the thought of being in a life or death situation put a knife through his flesh again.
Eugene has died in the same place twice. He doesn’t think so.